I counted off the doorways as I went down the short hallway, hoping I would get the right one. As I laid my hand on the door handle, I paused to steady myself. My fingers were shaking a little, and I was breathing in short shallow breaths. Rolling my rehearsed speech again in my head, I shook my shoulders to get rid of the nerves and pushed open the meeting room door.

"You said for me to come by to go over the repair videos, right?" I asked. Poe turned away from the images BB-8 was playing and motioned with a wave of his hand for me to come in. I walked around the end of the only bench in the room to sit next to him. (Meeting room was a fancy name for it anyway, there was barely enough room for the bench) He leaned over and propped his elbows on his knees, hands clasped together.

"Did you already watch it?" I asked.

"Yeah. It's all fine, you did a great job. I have a couple questions though." Pointing to BB-8, he ordered her to replay. "Stop at mark 2." This turned out to be one of the sections I had spent a long time ripping apart. "Why did you not use the standard procedure to fix this?"

"Well, I didn't use the most recent procedure, but what I did was the old standard way. My dad taught me this one. I believe as he did, that things are fixed too quickly now and problems that will crop up later are missed if you don't look at the entire line of energy flow. Had I done it the latest way, I would have missed the rotten plug and hairline crack here," as I pointed to a section in the air.

Poe looked at me silently for a second. "And this is why I chose you."

I felt my face getting red from embarrassment. Trying to deflect the praise, I played it down. "I'm sure someone would have seen those things eventually. That extra time I take isn't always the best use of time, I'm sure."

He sat straighter on the bench. "BB-8, play mark 1."

The image switched to show me sliding my hands over the wing, my eyes closed. I remembered that moment vividly. It was the instant I had completely immersed myself into Black One. I had felt the power she possessed, and the flow of Poe's own energy that lingered in her. For him to have noticed this special moment in the repair process, well, it scared me a little.

"Explain this to me."

I swallowed, despite my mouth being completely dry. "I can't really. Are you really seeing what happened there? I don't want to freak you out."

"I'm not freaked out. I want to know what you felt here."

I looked at him, assessing how much to reveal. His voice had been so soft and encouraging. Should I trust him? How bad could things turn out if I was honest? I closed my eyes and took a gamble. "I felt the wind. I felt it flowing over the wing, lifting it. I felt you, pushing it harder into the air. I felt her metal strain at the forces against it, and her spirit trying to do as you asked. And I felt joy, from both of you."

Poe's eyes were wide but calm. "How?"

"I don't know. I just can. It's not always joy I feel though. The parts that are broken are painful. And there is sometimes residual fear in some of the ships. It works on people too." I took one of his hands and studied it closely. I rubbed my finger over a small scar on his knuckle. "This shows fondness for some reason. Why?"

He looked down at his hand enveloped in mine. "That's from a pet I had when I was little. She bit me. I deserved it."

Seeing a white line peeking out from where his sleeve was rolled up near the elbow, I began tracing it upwards with my hands. "This one is sharp, pain yes, but there's something missing..." I closed my eyes again and concentrated. It was only half there. I felt the pull of energy and followed it willingly. My fingers left the inside of the arm and went to the side of his abdomen. I traced the line of heat through his shirt up to where it terminated just below his underarm. Poe placed his other hand over mine, the sudden touch breaking my concentration.

"The shot came from below. It went between my arm and chest and sliced both at the same time, that's why they're connected. You don't have to show me more to convince me, I get it."

Realizing I was touching him in a rather sensitive place, I yanked my hands back quickly. "Sorry. No, really, I am sorry, it got away from me for a second there." I closed my feelings up quickly and tried to cover up my embarrassment. I hadn't meant to show him that much. "So are we good with the repair? I should get going."

Poe looked surprised. "Ok, if that's what you want, we can be done here. Are you ok?"

"Oh yeah!" I said brightly. Totally fake. "I just need to go. I've got… stuff to do."

"Hey, Smiley, don't be embarrassed, you don't need to leave. That was amazing that you can do that."

"Thanks." I practically ran out. And 'thanks'? What a stupid thing to say. Closing the door behind me, I leaned against the wall. My insides were shaking. I wanted him so badly, but I didn't want him to know. To admit to someone I wanted their touches, their love, and have them reject me would have devastated me. The misery of wanting and not having was preferable.