AN: Please give me prompts. I like prompts. I like writing prompts. I love hearing whatever you want me to do with these guys. I want to reach 285 rules at least. I would appreciate it if you guys could help.

Each chapter will be at least 39 rules.

Enjoy.

PS: Lily Orchard is mentioned at the end of this chapter. All of the mentioned videos are real, and they're found on YouTube.

Alexi got another cup of tea. Praise be to the Tea Gods.

Rule 157: No more playing Galaga in Ops or on the Bridge.

"I feel like that's a reference to something."

"No one cares what it's a reference to."

"But they thought we wouldn't notice the reference, and we did!"

"I know, and I don't care."

Rule 158: Just because United Federation of Planets can be anagrammed as "Fluoridations deafen ten pet", that doesn't mean you should do it.

"Who the hell did this?"

"Probably the doctor. He's into all sorts of crazy shit."

Rule 159: Stop drinking at work.

"Fuck off," the admiral slurred.

"Fuck on," his assistant replied. "You get better results."

Rule 160: I swear, someday I'll get that dragon.
Rule 160,1: What have we said about being high on duty?
Rule 160,2: … Nothing?

Rule 161: Eating apples makes you an asshole. Or an even bigger bank manager.
Rule 161,1: Praise to CinemaSins.

"Wasn't there a rule about this?"

"One of the first ones, sir."

"Why are references still allowed on the list?"

"I have no idea."

Rule 162: No one will stop me from arresting Quark. Ever.

Hmmm... I need more tea.

Rule 163: The Klingon restaurant is now off-limits to Senator Vreenak, or anyone else who goes in just to cause a food fight for a larf.

Rule 164: Cards Against Humanity is no longer allowed in the break room.
Rule 164,1: Why?
Rule 164,2: Because of The Incident.
Rule 164,3: That only happened once, and it was mostly Bashir's fault!
Rule 164,4: Regardless.

"It feels like we should comment on this."

"Whatever."

Rule 165: "Challenge accepted" is never a valid excuse.
Rule 165,1: Neither is "Because I said so".
Rule 165,2: Or "The senior staff have gone insane". Even if it's true.

Rule 166: Playing with elbow grease and sending gullible people to look for it is encouraged.

Rule 167: The difference between butter and margarine is the difference between life and death to some species. Do not get them confused.

Rule 168: The Prophets' Orbs are not the Infinity stones, and anyone who said Sisko is Thanos because he's trying to collect them is lying their f*cking *ss off.

"Infinity War, 2018."

"Yeah. Why are there so many movie references?"

"Because the people who made this List have an odd sense of irony?"

"Or they don't realize how many references are on the List."

"..."

"Do you want something to drink?"

"Oh, Gods, yes."

Rule 169: Miles O'Brien does not own the Internet. It is also not a black box with a blinking red light.

"I'm just gonna stop noticing these references, now."

Rule 170: Trying to bend elements is just weird. Practising martial arts, however, is more than encouraged.

"La la la la la~ Deeeeefinitely no references here~"

Rule 171: Cat litter is not allowed on the Bridge.

Rule 172: Arson is not allowed anymore.

"ANYMORE!"

Rule 173: Bicycles are not permitted on the Promenade or the Habitat ring.

Rule 174: Atom bombs are not allowed on the Station.

Rule 175: Kai Winn is not allowed on the station.
Rule 175,1: Seconded.
Rule 175,2: Thirded.
Rule 175,3: Fourthed.

"She must be a bitch."

"I met her once. She is."

Rule 176: Sisko, no.
Rule 176,1: Sisko, yes.
Rule 176,2: CAPTAIN SISKO, YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADOPT ANY MORE BABIES.
Rule 176,3: YOU'RE NO FUN!

Rule 177: Cake is not allowed near the computers.
Rule 177,1: This does indeed include scented cake figurines.

"Why the figurines?"

"I don't think that matters."

Rule 178: -
Rule 178,1: Fuck you, sunglasses are allowed indoors. Sincerely, someone of a much higher rank than you.

"Three guesses who that was, and the first two don't count."

Rule 179: No wearing headphones in Ops.
Rule 179,1: Or on the Bridge.

Rule 180: No singing Klingon opera anywhere but on the Promenade.
Rule 180,1: Especially in Engineering.

Rule 181: Wearing a shirt that says 'rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock' is a bit weird, guys. Like, bruh.
Rule 181,1: Julian, you're hallucinating again. Go back to sleep.

Rule 182: The cake is a lie.
Rule 182,1: -

"WHAT WAS WRITTEN THERE?"

"WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?"

Rule 183: The following things are not phenomena sent by the Prophets. Or maybe they are, what the fuck do I know?
a) Rainbows
b) Odo's goop-people.
c) (Double) (Triple) (Quadruple) rainbows.
d) "Fucking missing puzzle pieces"
e) -
f) Most stellar phenomena outside of the Denorious Belt
Rule 183,1: Yes, they're responsible for the moons.

"Alrighty then."

Rule 184: Ziyal is not allowed to do a Jackson Pollack painting and then try to sell it.
Rule 184,1: Especially with Jake or Nog.
Rule 184,2: Or random ensigns.

Rule 185: Captain Sisko is not allowed to punch Q.

Rule 186: Q is not allowed to mess up the order of the Rules to make them all disjointed and weird and time-displaced just because he could.

Rule 187: Q is not allowed to add to The Rules.
Rule 187,1: Well, then q isn't allowed either!
Rule 187,2: Mom did it!
Rule 187,3: No, it was that asshole who wanted to off himself!
Rule 187,4: You're all wrong, it was the 'almost respectable' members of the Council.

"So. All-powerful cosmic entities are arguing about who added to a list of rules created by insane mortals?"

"Yes, it seems that way."

"WHY!"

(Person) never got an answer.

Rule 188: Just because some people have doctorates does not mean that they are The Doctor.
Rule 188,1: Even if it's Bashir, no matter how British he is.

"There are definitely no references here."

"Sir, now you're just deluding yourself."

Rule 189: Odo is not allowed to sleep in Quark's drink cups.
Rule 189,1: Especially if some people try to take a swig.

"Um."

"Let's never speak of this again.

Rule 190: While it is true that no one ever expects the Vulcan inquisition, that's because it never happened.

Rule 191: F*ck you, yes it did.
Rule 191,1: What is this in response to?

No one cared, too numb to the bullshit already. They moved on.

Rule 192: Jadzia's hair clip is not to be fucked with.
Rule 192,1: Nor are her backup hair clips, or extra backup hair clips.

"Damn. That woman really likes hair clips."

Rule 193: Kira's combadge is lost. If it's stolen, be prepared for a nonlethal phaser burn.
Rule 193,1: Bashir, keep some in stock, please.
Rule 193,2: VENGEANCE!

Rule 194: Violent vengeance is not the answer.
Rule 194,1: There was a video made about three hundred years ago by a knowledgeable video-maker. Her name was Lily Orchard, and the video Glass of Water: Violence is Golden is likely going to show you why you're full of sh*t.
Rule 194,2: Yup, I'm wrong. Sorry, Kira.
Rule 194,3: Apology accepted. Don't do it again.

"I feel like I need to watch that video again."

"It's required watching at Starfleet Academy. I don't know how this person could have forgotten that lesson, Ms Orchard was quite poignant."

"Well, I've seen some of her videos pertaining to writing lessons during English literacy, like Glass of Water: Middle Eastern Omnisexual Demon Hunters, Glass of Water: Totally not a shipping video, Glass of Water: Little Mary Quite Contrary, and Glass of water: Square Root of Edgy, but I'd forgotten about Violence is Golden. I think I need to rewatch her videos."

"You do that. I'll read the rest of the rules."

Alexi pounced. "NOT WITHOUT ME YOU WON'T, YOU MOTHERF[bleep]CKER!"

The Admiral ran around his desk with the Rules Padd, trying to avoid his deranged assistant. "HOW ARE THERE CENSOR BLEEPS IN YOUR CURSES?!"

"BECAUSE THERE ARE, YOU C[bleep]CKSUCKING SH[bleep]TF[bleep]CKER!"

"DAMN, THOSE CENSOR BLEEPS ARE FUCKING ANNOYING."

"ALL THE BETTER TO DRIVE YOU UP THE F[bleep]CKING WALL WITH!" Alexi cackled.

The people outside the office started to wonder whether the Admiral and his assistant needed Security services.