A/N: Hey guys! I hope everyone is okay and safe with everything that's been going on and I know I should have written a happier chapter...BUT, classic me I wrote in another curveball for the Helmsley family and I know you guys are gonna hate me. Sorry...either way hope you enjoy.
Chapter 47
While the family time together had been great, the Helmsley family was thrown another curveball as they received word from the social service men about the status of their family. The court and the men agreed that Becky had a serious mental condition that could cause her to be a danger to herself and others and she needed the proper care and treatment. So they suggested putting her in a group home, well, they didn't suggest, they told Hunter and Stephanie that's what needed to happen. They believed that Becky needed more immediate attention from trained staff that had dealt with people like her before in a controlled family environment and while Hunter and Stephanie protested and tried to fight this, they both knew it was best.
They gave their final decision on Thursday and gave Becky the weekend with her family before a bus came and picked her up Sunday morning to take her to her new home. So now the redhead stood outside the gates of the house, dressed in a light red hoodie and leggings with her suitcase at her feet while her duffle bag hung over her right shoulder. She examined the house quickly as she saw a woman slowly exiting out the front door. It was a normal one story house with pale walls and a big yard with a white gate around the edge and a long driveway that had chalk drawings on it and a basketball hoop screwed above the garage.
"Hello Rebecca. Wel-"
"Please don't call me that" Becky said, cutting off the woman who approached her in the front yard.
"Alright. Well, Ms. Helmsley, welcome to the Performance Center group home. My name is Sara Del Ray and I am here to make sure your stay is as comfortable as possible."
Becky stopped walking and glared at the woman who stood beside her. She was pale with long dark hair and she wore a grey shirt and jeans, "Comfortable? You want to make sure I'm...comfortable?"
The woman nodded, "I just want to help. That's what this place is for. To help you."
"I've heard that before" Becky said as her mind began to wander.
Flashback
"A-a group home? The-they want to send me to...a group home?"
Hunter and Stephanie sadly looked at their child from across the dining room table. Stephanie had tears in her eyes and Hunter frowned deeply before he spoke, "Honey…"
"No! D-don't..don't honey me!"
"Rebecca enough," Stephanie said seriously as the redhead clasped her hands together on the table and rocked a little in her seat as she nervously fidgeted, "The court...CPS they all decided. They think a group home would be good for you."
"How..h-how long?" Becky asked as she twitched
"As long as you need" Hunter said in a low tone that made Becky glare at him
"Don't...don't do that. D-don't do that voice." She said as she rocked back and forth and tapped her foot, trying to contain the anger that was bubbling inside her. This was all her fault. This is what she wanted, isn't it? That's why she acted like such an ass to those men. She told them she was violent and so they're taking her away. That's what she wanted. She wanted to be as far away from everything as possible...so she's getting exactly what she deserves, "I don't need your sympathy...Don-don't treat me like I'm sick, like I'm a child. I made my choices...th-this is...this is what I wanted."
"What you wanted? What are you talking about Becky?" Stephanie asked confused causing Becky to slightly chuckle sarcastically
"I wanted this...I-I deserve this." Becky muttered
"You deserve the chance to get better Becky...we- everyone just wants to help you" Stephanie said before she slowly reached forward to grab Becky's hand but the girl quickly pulled it away and stood up.
Becky began slowly pacing as she stuttered and twitched trying to control herself. She didn't know why she was angry. She made her decision, she wanted to be taken away, she wanted to self destruct, and now these were her consequences. She would have to live with them but Hunter and Stephanie walking on eggshells around her pissed her off. They were her parents and Becky couldn't help but feel a little on edge from their light voices and the fear in Stephanie's eyes as she stared at her. Becky felt her anger taking over her, telling her to scream and to punch something.
Hunter placed a hand on Stephanie's shoulder as she went to speak again before he slowly stood, "kiddo...look. We don't want you to go as much as you don't wanna go...but there is really no other option here kid. We tried. Trust me we've tried..but this will help you with your anger an-"
"YOU were supposed to help me with my anger!" Becky yelled as she glared at her father, "Not them! Not anyone else! I...I-I"
"Rebecca, calm down!" Stephanie warned as she could see her daughter physically shaking. She watched as Becky continued to pace as she stuttered over her words and gripped her hair practically in pain, "Rebecca please"
The redhead shot up and glared at her mother before she yelled, "STOP IT! STOP CALLING ME THAT! STOP TALKING!"
"You don't have to yell. We're only trying to help you" Hunter said seriously
"No...no, no, no...NO!" Becky snapped, slowly getting louder before she punched the wall creating a big hole causing Stephanie to stand now while Hunter slowly moved towards her. Becky saw this and put her hand out towards her father to stop him, "No...no don't touch me!"
Hunter slowly continued to walk towards his daughter while Becky backed up into the kitchen, "Becky we just wanna help you...please we-"
Becky quickly twitched before she grabbed a butcher's knife from the drawer causing Hunter to stop walking and put his hands up quickly. Stephanie slowly entered the kitchen with them as she sadly looked at her daughter. Becky shook with rage as she slowly continued to step back away from her parents, holding the knife towards them. She tried to keep looking at them but her vision was slowly fading. She could see red spots filling the corner of her vision as everything was becoming blurry.
"Becky"
"Shut up! Ple-please...ju-just...just stop talking!" Becky muttered
"Rebecca!" Hunter tried again as he took a step forward
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Becky yelled as she took a swipe at her father with the knife, just barely missing his chest
"Put the knife down Becky!" Stephanie said carefully
"Why?" Becky asked quietly, talking to her mother even though she could barely see the woman, "A-are you...are you afraid o-of me? Of what I'll d-do to you?"
"I'm afraid of what you'll do to yourself" Stephanie said seriously causing Becky to glare before she held the knife out, pointing it towards Stephanie
"Hey! Look at me! Look at me Becky. Come on...you wanna be mad, then be mad at me, not your mother" Hunter said causing Becky to slowly turn her head to look at Hunter, "Put the knife down...I know you...I know you don't want to hurt anyone. So why don't you just...put the knife down"
Becky stopped moving. She slowly looked at the knife in her hands, turning it slightly to inspect it before throwing it as hard as she could, causing it to get stuck in the wall, away from her and her parents. She stared at the knife in the wall before looking back to her parents as the red continued to fill her vision until the last thing she could see was Hunter quickly walking towards her.
Hunter carefully grabbed Becky and ushered her to the ground as she screamed and kicked and fought him, "NO! GET OFF ME! GET OFF ME! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!"
End of Flashback
"Ms. Helmsley!" Becky snapped out of her thoughts and looked back at the woman, "Are you listening?"
"Yeah...sure" Becky said.
Sara nodded and led the girl inside as she began talking, "The Performance Center is a safe place, we're a family here and we provide a stable setting for you and teens like you while you get 24 hour treatment and care. Here, you will be given a daily schedule structured around activities and involvement like therapy, school, group interactions and learning activities."
"Learning activities? I'm not five" Becky responded sarcastically causing Sara to chuckle and nod as the two entered the house
"We know" Sara paused and let Becky look around the house, it opened up into an open living room that held two couches and a bean bag chair all centered around a TV that was resting on a dresser in the corner. Behind the living room, separated by a half wall was the kitchen and dining room and to the left was a long hallway, "This is the li-"
"Living room...kitchen, dining room" Becky said, cutting the woman off as she pointed at all the different areas, "I have eyes...I can see"
Sara smiled and nodded before stating, "Well then...let me tell you about what you don't see. There are six other girls here, all from the ages of 13-17. You get your own room which you can decorate however you want as long as it's appropriate and when you get your privileges up you can get things like games, toys stuff like that."
"Privileges?" Becky asked confused
"The more you participate and the more progress you make in therapy or in school causes you to get tokens" Sara said before she pulled out a golden chip, "You can cash these in for privileges like phone or TV time, maybe hanging out outside of the facility or participating in school events or functions."
"So until I get one of those...I'm confined to this place?" Becky asked with a raised eyebrow
"Yes, you can say that" Sara said with a smile before she pocketed the coin and led Becky to the left, down the hallway. There was a door there and once she opened it Becky could see a long hallway of rooms. Each door was open to reveal six different girls doing random things in each room. Becky looked at each girl she passed, and they looked back at her before Sara led her to the last door on the right, "This one is yours"
Sara opened the door to reveal a small plain room with a twin bed pushed to the corner, a desk and dresser, a grey rug and two windows. There were shelves built into the walls above the bed for Becky to place stuff on and there were a few markings and cracks along the sides of the walls. Sara stepped inside while Becky stood at the door and looked around before looking back out at the hallway to see all six girls standing at their doors looking at her.
Becky watched them for a second before entering her new room. She slowly took her duffel bag off and placed it down on the bed beside her suitcase. Sara watched as Becky took in the plain room before speaking, "Just a quick run through of the rules. We don't lock or close doors here, no cursing...no uh drinking, smoking you know all that type of stuff. No belts, scissors, razor blades, things like that, we have random checks and if those things are found on you or in your stuff you will face a level drop and that will equal your loss of privileges. You'll also be given a schedule and chores that you are expected to do and follow and if you break any of these rules or do anything you're not supposed to then...level drop."
"Got it" Becky said before looking back at Sara, "Anything else?"
Sara shook her head, "No...not right now. I'll let you unpack and then once you're done you can come out and find me and I'll get you some things that you need."
Becky nodded and Sara slowly exited the room, leaving Becky to unpack for herself. The redhead slowly unzipped her bag and looked at the notebook that sat on top of her things. It was from Bayley. She had all the family write Becky letters but the redhead had yet to read any of them. She carefully picked up the book and set it down on the bed, looking at it for a few minutes.
Flashback
"What do you mean she's leaving?" Charlotte asked in shock
Stephanie sighed as she crossed her arms over her chest, holding herself as she broke the news to her girls. After Becky's outburst, Hunter carried her to bed and let her sleep until the others came home from school that day. Becky hadn't known why they kept her home instead of the rest of her sisters but now as she sat, hidden on the steps listening to them cry and argue about her leaving, she understood why it was best to tell them separately. After her outburst, she felt much better, but now listening to her sisters argue while Bayley cried...it kind of made her feel bad.
"No, she can't leave. She didn't do anything wrong!" Sasha said seriously
"I know...I know!" Stephanie said as she tried to calm her girls, "But social services and CPS they-"
"FUCK them!" Sasha yelled angrily
"Sasha I get that you're upset but we-"
"I'm not upset. I'm pissed. How can you just let them take her?" Sasha said through tears
"I'M NOT...I'm not letting them do anything Sasha. I tried. I tried my hardest, I did. I promise you that I fought for her" Stephanie said as tears came to her eyes while Sasha shook her head in disbelief.
"No. No, you're a liar!" Sasha yelled as she began to slowly panic
"Sasha" Charlotte said as she looked at her younger sister, "Sasha you have to calm down! Think about the babies alright?"
Sasha looked between her sister and her mother in disbelief, "How can you be okay with this? This is our sister we're talking about. She's just gonna stand aside and let them take her away!"
"I'm not okay with this" Charlotte stated, glancing at her mother quickly before looking back at Sasha, "BUT...you have to calm down...this stress is not good for the twins. Go...take a breather"
Sasha paced a little before looking at her mother and shaking her head. She quickly walked out, bumping her shoulder against Stephanie's as she walked out of the living room and headed out the back door. Becky slowly leaned her head against the railing and looked through the posts to watch her sisters. Charlotte carefully looked at Bayley who was sitting quietly on the couch with her knees drawn up to her chest as she cried, "Bayley? Are you okay?"
Bayley carefully looked up at the blonde with tears in her eyes before shaking her head no. She slowly uncoiled from the couch and moved to head upstairs to her room but stopped at the bottom of the steps when she saw Becky sitting there. Becky stared back at her for a second before Bayley slowly walked up the steps until she was standing over the redhead. Becky carefully looked up at her little sister before saying, "Bayley I-"
Becky stopped as Bayley bent down on the steps so she and Becky were the same height. Bayley sadly looked at her sister before she surged forward and hugged Becky tightly. Becky sat there as she let Bayley hug her and cry, "I'm sorry...I tried. I-I told them that you were doing good that...that everything was okay I-"
"It's not your fault Bayley." Becky said as Bayley still clutched tightly to the redhead
"I should've done more. I should have told them that-"
"No matter what you told them...I-I screwed myself over. This isn't on you" Becky said quietly before hugging Bayley back
"I'm sorry" Bayley whispered
"Me too"
End of Flashback
Becky slowly came back to the present as she began unpacking her clothes. After she was almost done she heard a knock on her door causing her to turn around and see a blonde girl standing there with a smile, "Sup newbie."
Becky turned back to her bag and continued to put away her things, grabbing a few pictures that she had of her family and placing them on the shelf. The blonde slowly entered the room and walked up to the girl's desk before taking a seat in the rolling chair and pushing it over to Becky, "The name's Toni Storm...and you are?"
"Not interested in this conversation" Becky said without looking at Toni.
Toni nodded at this and tapped on the chair before looking around the room, "I forget what these rooms look like without all the decorations and stuff...you know you can decor-"
"Decorate it however I want as long as it's appropriate, I know" Becky said, cutting Toni off as she turned to look at the blonde, "Is there something you actually want? Or are you just here to bother me?"
Toni smirked and chuckled to herself before standing from the chair. She wore a red and black jacket over a white shirt and black jeans and her blonde hair was straightened neatly under a red hat. She walked over to Becky's bed, looking over her shoulder at the pictures, "Those your friends or something?"
"Or something"
Toni nodded and shoved her hands in her pockets, "Not a lot of people in here got friends out there...family...people that care about them. In here...we're different. We look out for each other. So...forgive me for being the first to offer the olive branch...but you're gonna have to get used to it, because whether you like it or not...we're your family now."
Becky rolled her eyes at this, "Trust me...you don't wanna be my family"
"Oooh a backstory...I'm interested. Let me guess. Violent home? Messed up dad...drunk mom? What? Creepy uncle?" Toni began to guess, only stopping when Becky glared at her, "Oh...I get it. Don't wanna talk about it...that's okay...we don't have to talk about that. How about we talk about-"
"How about we don't talk!" Becky snapped feeling her anger rise from the girl's pestering causing her to clench her fist.
Toni seemed to notice and looked down at the redhead's fist, taking note of the bruised knuckles causing the blonde to slowly nod and put her hands up defensively, "Oh...okay. Yeah, no I get it. You don't wanna talk. I'll uh...I'll leave you alone. Oh...uh here"
Toni reached in her pocket and pulled out a gold token before holding it out for Becky to take. The redhead raised an eyebrow at the girl confused, "What is this for?"
"Everyone gets one when they first come. So you can call home...o-or not! You can do whatever with it. It's just so you can not feel...ya know...weird about being in a new place" Toni stuttered, suddenly feeling nervous, trying not to anger the girl, "You actually came on a good day...we have movie night tonight. So if you wanna come hang out with us losers...you can use your token on that."
Becky looked at the token before looking back up to Toni, "Thank you"
With that, the redhead turned back to her bag to unpack while Toni stood there for a few seconds. Once she realized the redhead was done talking she slowly backed out of the room and left. Becky looked back at the door once she knew the Blonde was gone before shaking her head. This would definitely be an adjustment.
Becky slowly looked up at the picture on her shelf, staring intensely at one of her and her sisters when they were younger all dressed up in pink tutus with their arms linked. It was at her and Sasha's birthday party. Sasha had wanted a princess theme and Becky agreed. Since Becky's birthday was so close to hers the two shared parties which usually ended badly so the two girls were in the center with cake smeared all over their faces. This would be the first year since Becky got adopted that she and Sasha wouldn't be together for their birthday. Even as they got older and got into arguments the two always called it a truce for their birthday. Stephanie and Hunter would take them out to eat wherever they wanted once they got too old for parties and that usually meant this fancy Italian place that Becky and Sasha loved.
Flashback
"Hey Sash" Becky said quietly as she entered their shared room where Sasha had hidden herself away in trying to avoid talking to anyone.
"Don't hey me" Sasha mumbled as she rested her face in her hands, "You're leaving"
"Yeah" Becky said as she sat down on her bed so she was sitting across from Sasha who wouldn't look at her, "Are you okay?"
Sasha let out a sarcastic laugh as tears came to her eyes, "Yeah...I'm great"
Becky stared at Sasha for a while before she let her eyes wander to the ground, "It's not mom's fault you know."
Sasha shook her head, "She didn't fight. She promised she would fight for us...that she wouldn't let anyone take us away from her...and now they're putting you in a group home."
"Yeah...I know… and I was angry about it. Really angry about it" Becky said as she thought about her outburst earlier, "I almost cut dad with a knife."
Sasha's head shot up to look at her sister with a confused look, "You did what?"
"I was angry when I found out the news...and I lashed out. I almost hurt them Sash"
"That wasn't you. You were just upset" Sasha said quickly trying to defend the redhead but Becky just shook her head.
"I shouldn't feel the urge to lash out or hurt someone whenever I'm upset. That's not okay"
"And you understand that! So they shouldn't have to take you away if you know this" Sasha tried again but Becky just sighed.
"It doesn't matter that I know that. I still can't control myself. I'm...broken Sash. They think I need help, and I can't help but agree with them."
"You can get help here!" Sasha insisted, "Charlotte is. She goes to therapy, she takes medication...she's better!"
"I'm not Charlotte! I'm not...broken in the way that she is. I can't be fixed the way she can." Becky said as he played with her fingers while she tried to explain "There's no stopping this. I don't...wanna go. I mean I do but I-"
"You do?" Sasha asked in shock causing Becky to sigh
"I needed this. I needed the consequence. I don't know how to explain it but I was just slowly spiraling in my head and I needed to self destruct. Lash out even. My anger is much more than just being mad sometimes...we both know that. If I don't get out and get away from this...from everything then I-I don't know. I would have gone crazy. I'll snap." Becky said as she tried to explain the best she could but Sasha just stared back at her, "Look...to make things simple. I'm angry and I need help because I can't control it. I can't control my rage and I don't want to lash out anymore. Not on you...not on the others or mom or dad...and not on your babies. So I'm going...and hopefully I'll come back...not broken"
"You were never broken to me" Sasha said sadly.
"Thank you...but that doesn't change the fact that I am" Becky said before she nodded and slowly stood from her bed to leave, stopping only briefly to say, "Oh..before I forget...Happy birthday Sash"
End of Flashback
After Becky finished packing she slowly wandered out of her room and began to look around the house. Across from her room was a plan room with a glass window in the door allowing Becky to see the padded walls and an inflated animal inside. The redhead stared at the room before walking down the hall. There were three rooms on each side of the hall, all with names on the doors. Toni's room was next to Becky's with her name taped on the door with red and black construction paper and inside the blonde was beating imaginary drumsticks while she listened to music in her headphones. Then beside her was a room with an open black door that said Rhea in chalk but there was no one inside it. Across from Toni was a room that said Nikki in big bold letters and inside was a small girl with dark hair sitting at her desk while she colored. Beside her was a room with a purple door that said Bianca on it inside was a tall black girl doing homework. Then the last two rooms said Peyton and Mia, both simply written on a whiteboard and both rooms were empty.
There were also two bathrooms at the end of the hall across from each other. There was a girl with blue hair in the bathroom beside Mia's room. She was brushing her hair in the mirror and when she saw Becky walking past she nodded her head at the redhead before turning back to her reflection.
Becky stood there for a second longer before walking out the door to the main part of the house where a tall blonde girl was playing a video game with a bigger white man in the living room.
"Matt you're cheating!" the blonde said in an Australian accent causing the man to laugh
"No way Ripley." Matt said, "You gotta try harder if you wanna beat me"
"It's not fair...you're using cheat codes!" The blonde practically yelled
Becky walked further, moving behind them quietly until she could see the kitchen where a tall tanned girl with brown hair was cooking with Sara beside her. Becky watched them until Sara noticed the redhead causing her to smile, "Ms. Helmsley...thank you for joining us."
The girl in the kitchen and the blonde playing video games both turned to look at Becky, "Just Becky is fine"
"Sup Becky" The blonde on the couch said, "I'm Rhea"
Becky nodded in acknowledgment before looking back to Sara who moved to introduce the girl beside her, "This is Peyton...and that's Matt Bloom. He's one of the guardians here."
Peyton waved at her and Matt smiled politely. Becky watched them carefully for a second but didn't say anything else causing Rhea to look at her confused before turning back to her game. Sara tapped Peyton carefully on her shoulder before whispering in her ear causing her to nod before she slowly left the kitchen, moving around Becky quickly to head to her room. Sara called out, "Rhea...enough with the game. Come finish up dinner while I get Becky the rest of her things"
Rhea groaned and Matt turned off the game before the blonde stood and jumped over the couch to enter the kitchen, "Ew what is this?"
"Peyton started making vegan chili. You can finish it" Sara said with a smile
"Vegan Chili? No one in this place is even vegan" Rhea complained as she took a spoon and stirred the pot of chili
"Billie is" Sara said in a low tone causing Rhea to roll her eyes
"Great"
Sara gave Rhea a look before saying, "Be good or I'll have to take away your gaming privileges. Matt watch her"
"I'm on it" Matt said as he stood from the couch and walked over to the kitchen while Sara approached Becky.
"You can come with me" Sara said to the redhead before guiding her down the hall to another door, "Down this hall is our offices and the library, it serves as a study room and a cool down room. No one is permitted down here without an escort or special permission."
Becky looked around at the hall to see there were four offices, 2 on each side of the wall and at the end of the hall was the library Sara talked about. The older woman led Becky into one of the offices and told her to take a seat while she moved to sit behind the desk. Becky looked around the small desk to see some plants and pictures of Sara and her children, and some drawings done by what looked like five year olds. She had a simple computer on her desk and behind her was a bookshelf, a small clock and a Chinese calendar that you could get for a dollar at the restaurants.
Sara put on a pair of glasses and typed on the computer before pulling out a folder from the drawer under her desk, "This is your schedule, since you're new you are on the ground level where you are only permitted to go to school and come home. We've worked everything out with your school and your parents to get your paperwork transferred. So you will be starting school in two days."
"They don't think it's weird that I'm transferring in halfway into the school year?" Becky asked with a raised eyebrow
"This school is...aware of the needs of the teens here. They are more than willing to accommodate." Sara explained as she handed Becky two sheets of paper, one that was her schedule for school and another that was a schedule for her chores, therapy and other things at the house.
Becky slumped down in her seat a little as she looked over the schedule. It was a new adjustment and completely different from the schedule she had started to get into back at home, "When can I see my family?"
"You are legally permitted to visit them whenever and as long as you behave here and make good progress then you can call them whenever you'd like. We do allow our children to have phones here once they reach a certain level with some restrictions of course, but until you work your way up there is a phone in my office and the other offices that you can use." Sara explained, "And after your first therapy session they will decide if you need to have family therapy sessions which will more than likely be the case if you are to be placed back in their care. So I'd say you'll see your family often."
"What about my friends?" Becky asked thinking about Dean
"Well, once you work your way up the ladder you'll have weekend privileges that will allow you to hang out with friends on Saturdays with a curfew of course."
Becky nodded and looked over the schedule again, taking note of her list of chores which ranged from cleaning her room to cooking before saying, "Uh...I don't really...I can't cook"
Sara chuckled and smiled, "That's fine. The Performance Center encourages teens to find new hobbies and skills. We'll teach you how to do certain things and encourage you to take up new things like cooking, dancing, art and maybe even music."
"Yeah but...I like...I really can't cook" Becky said seriously, "I'll burn toast if you let me...my sister...she's the one who can cook"
Sara nodded and continued to smile as she put her elbows up on the desk and rested her chin on her knuckles, "Tell me about her"
Becky set down the papers and sat up a little in the chair she was sitting in, "Her name is Charlotte. She's the oldest...uh, she went to rehab for a while and came back an amazing cook. It was...weird, but now she won't stop cooking. She uh...she does it everyday. When she's happy, she'll wake up really early and make these pancakes with faces on them...an-and when she's sad or upset she'll make a 3 course meal for some reason. Then when...when she's nervous and thinking about something...someone, she'll make their favorite…"
Flashback
Becky slowly entered the kitchen where Charlotte was mindlessly cutting up peppers. The blonde didn't seem to notice Becky as the redhead slowly walked up to her, watching the blonde carefully until she spoke, "Char?"
Charlotte quickly looked up and smiled sadly when she realized it was Becky, "Hey"
Becky watched her as she sat down at the island across from the taller girl, "You...alright?"
Charlotte frowned but quickly forced a smile as she said, "yeah... I'm alright"
"Are you sure?" Charlotte nodded in response while Becky stared at her unsure, "okay… then is there any reason you've made avocado toast and pineapple chicken?"
Charlotte shrugged, "you like those things"
"Yeah...and you only cook people's favorites when you're worried about them." Becky stated causing Charlotte to smile but shake her head
"Food is just food. It doesn't mean anything" Charlotte stated jokingly as she continued to cook
"So this has absolutely nothing to do with me leaving in a couple days?" Becky asked once more but Charlotte just made a face and shook her head
"You're leaving in a few days? I didn't know that" Becky gave Charlotte a look which the blonde tried desperately to avoid before she eventually made eye contact with the girl and sighed, "Fine...I'm worried about you...about everyone and what will happen when you leave."
Becky nodded understandingly, "Now you know how I felt when you left."
"That was different and you know it. Mom and Dad had a say in that...this...this is something none of us...not even them can control." Charlotte stated with a frown causing Becky to nod, "They're taking you away from us."
Becky shrugged, "it's not that bad…"
"Not that bad?" Charlotte asked confused causing Becky to sigh as she placed her head down on the table
"I don't know. I don't know how to explain the situation. Honestly Charlotte I was really hoping you wouldn't be upset...I've had enough with Bayley and Sasha" Becky said sadly causing Charlotte to frown before she leaned across the counter and placed her hand on top of Becky's
"I know. I'm sorry. I'm trying to keep it together but what did you expect. You're leaving us...just when we thought things were getting better" Becky sighed at Charlotte's words before she sat up and looked at her older sister as she continued to talk, "Wha-what happened? I...I didn't even know anything was going on with you"
Becky shrugged, "I don't know I just started spiraling."
"Why didn't you tell anyone?"
"I didn't want to worry you guys. We...all of us have been through so much and things were starting to get better for everyone and I...I didn't want to hold anyone else back. How could I let my problems weigh on you guys when you were all doing so well. Bayley's been doing great with Carmella and her birth family, Sasha's been handling her pregnancy well with Finn helping her and you've gotten into your whole cooking routine and you're already doing ten times better than me or anyone else in school...AND YOU JUST GOT BACK!" Becky said sadly before Charlotte quickly moved around the counter and hugged her sister tightly, "I just...sometimes I wonder if...no matter how hard I try...I'll always be broken on the inside. I can fill my life with all this stuff...with Dean, with school, with you guys but...it won't make me whole...I-I'll just always be broken"
"You're not broken Becky"
End of Flashback
"Becky? Are you alright?" Sara del Ray asked, causing Becky to quickly look to the ground as she rubbed away her tears that she didn't realize were starting to flow from her eyes. Once they were gone she looked up at Sara who stared back at her with concern, "I can tell that you love your sister very much...and she loves you too"
Becky nodded before looking anywhere else but Sara's eyes. She felt uncomfortable, vulnerable even at the fact that this woman had seen her cry so easily, "Uh...ca-can I go now?"
Sara frowned but quickly hid it under a small, but sad, smile before she nodded, "Yeah...I'll send someone to come get you when dinner is ready. We all eat together on Sundays and then we'll have a small family meeting where you'll get to introduce yourself to everyone and after that, we're having movie night. Did Toni bring you your chip?"
Becky nodded, "Yeah...She did"
Sara nodded at this before saying, "Well you can use it tonight if you wanna join us"
Becky frowned, "I think I'd rather be alone."
Sara nodded at this understanding, "That's alright. Moving into a new place can be quite an adjustment but Becky...holding yourself back from...opening up or taking in new experiences...will only hurt you in the long run. It's okay to...like these people...and it's okay to want to get better."
Becky nodded, "Can I go?"
"Sure" Sara said before waving at the door causing Becky to stand and head to leave, only stopping when Sara spoke again, "Just remember what I said...we'll still be here"
Once she was sure the woman was done talking Becky quickly left and crossed the house to head back to her room. The redhead found herself lying on her bed as she looked over the list of chores and her schedule. Every Monday through Friday she would have school from 7:15 to 2:15 then she would come home and have study time from 2:45 to 3:30 followed by free time to wind down from the day, play games or work on a hobby, then on Tuesdays and Thursdays from five to six she would meet with Sara or one of the other guardians and talk about her week or day or anything else she wanted to talk about. However, at that time on Wednesdays, she was assigned to help cook dinner as one of her weekly chores. Then there would be dinner everyday at 6:30. Some days after dinner there were group meetings or activities like movie or game nights or other things. Then on the weekends, there were therapy sessions, group and individual, time for chores like laundry, trash, cleaning the house and more free time for different hobbies.
On the side of the paper, there was a list of hobbies or activities that she could choose from including, art, gardening, yoga, music, cooking, etc. However, Becky frowned when she noticed that sports were crossed out causing her to remember that she was technically only functioning on one lung. Becky stared hard at the word crossed out on her paper. She felt angry at her limitations being so easily represented by a simple word being crossed off on a page. She felt angry at the fact that she was no longer able to fight or run around like she used to, no longer having that outlet for her anger made her feel confined and bottle up, making her want to explode at everything and anything. It made her think back on those girls who attacked her in the first place, it made her think about Ronda who was still out there fighting unopposed.
Becky frowned for a minute before she smiled at the thought of ripping Ronda's arm off, only to frown again at the realization that that fantasy will never come true now. The redhead felt her anger continue to rise, she struggled to focus on her breathing as she tried to calm down but nothing seemed to work. Her vision began to blur from tears and anger before she ripped the schedule in half and tossed it on the floor.
Becky quickly stood and began to pace as she bit her tongue to keep from making a noise. She didn't want to draw attention to herself and she didn't want anyone to see her right now. One, because she didn't want to get in trouble for her outburst and two, because she didn't want to hurt anyone on her first day because she was sure she would punch whoever walked through that door in the face, no questions asked.
"Fuck" Becky muttered to herself as her hands began to tremble as every bad thought she'd ever seemed to have came into her mind.
Becky tightly squeezed her hands into the side of her head and closed her eyes, no longer pacing as she just stood in the center of her room, going into a full meltdown. Becky felt her whole body tense and heat up as she kept thinking about Ronda and those girls and her lungs. Slowly her anger turned to fear as she thought about her lung and realized she couldn't breathe.
"Hey Becky dinner is-...oh shit"
Becky didn't have to open her eyes to know that that Toni girl from earlier had come into her room. The redhead kept her eyes closed, feeling as though she would beat the crap out of Toni if she actually laid eyes on her.
"Hey...it's okay alright?" Toni said softly as she slowly approached Becky. The blonde held her hands up defensively as she lowered her head to look at Becky who continued to squeeze her eyes shut while she struggled to breathe, "Hey...I need you to calm down. You're having a panic attack...you need to slow your breathing and focus on me."
"Go...away" Becky said through gritted teeth
"Not until you breathe" Toni said slightly with a joking tone before she carefully placed one hand on Becky's shoulder, "Focus on my hand. Ground yourself, focus on the present...not on anything else in your head right now. None of that is real, only my hand and my voice is"
Becky slowly began to focus on Toni's hand. She could feel the blonde slowly gripping and releasing her shoulder in time with her breathing allowing Becky to slowly find a rhythm. Soon the redhead found herself breathing normally and once she was calm enough she tiredly opened her eyes.
"Hey!" Toni said with a bright smile, "You okay now?"
Becky nodded as her eyes began to close. She felt tired and weak as all her energy left her causing her body to slightly stumble forward. Toni quickly put her arms out and caught Becky before she carefully sat the girl down on her bed.
"You tired yourself out" Toni stared as she watched Becky try to fight sleep, "you need to rest. You'll feel better when you wake up. I'll let Sara know that you need some rest."
Becky slowly laid her head on her pillow as she watched Toni for a second while the blonde sat on the edge of her bed. The redhead sighed, taking in a deep breath just to feel the oxygen fill her lung before releasing it. After a second she said, "Thank you"
Toni smirked and nodded, "Well this isn't the first time I've had to deal with a panic attack. Besides, I told you...we're family here. We look out for each other"
Becky nodded and let her eyes close causing Toni to stand and leave while Becky slowly drifted off to sleep.
A/N: You guys hate me? Yes...no? I don't know, let me know what you guys think, what you want to see, any ideas on backstories for our new group home girls, etc. Also, make sure to follow, favorite and all that good stuff so you can be updated on future chapters.