A/N: I just wanted to take a moment to thank those of you who are reading, reviewing, and following this story. Just know I read every comment and they have meant the world to me. I hope you all continue to enjoy. Happy reading!
Hal glanced around the table, wondering if this was as uncomfortable for everyone else as it was for her. Well the elves seemed at ease. They had spent the better part of half-an-hour marveling at the clay hut and lemongrass tea, which they politely sipped on. Denu, although he could not see, had been rather quiet since Hal told him that they had company over. And that they were elves. The man, Blödhgarm, had been especially enthralled with Denu's lack of sight but enhanced senses elsewhere.
Murtagh looked positively exhausted, his eyes dropping and his skin sallow from the burden of the magic. Hal's eyes kept wandering to him with concern, yet she also couldn't take her eyes off Blödhgarm either. Not just because of his appearance, although that was, by-and-large, the main reason why. There was also a strange musk around him, one she couldn't quite place. It smelled of pine, firewood, and eucalyptus, dazzling her senses completely. It was as though, the longer she looked, the more she wanted to just…be near him, which was absurd.
And yet…
Murtagh suddenly — and loudly — cleared his throat, and Hal's eyes darted to him once more, flashing a look of irritation that he pointedly returned. "It's getting late," he said slowly. "There is much to tell you and Eragon. But it can wait until morning."
"Eragon stated that he would prefer an update as soon as we found you," Blödhgarm stated with a small smile. "If it would be of no concern, we'd rather do it now than wait any longer. He's eager to hear from you."
Hal still couldn't believe Murtagh had not talked to his brother in the several months he'd been on the island. At least not that she was aware of based on what the elf was saying. She would certainly give him an earful of her own on the matter later. But a protectiveness settled itself in her chest and she blushed, thankful no one could see as she spoke. "Actually, if I may…"
"Why of course," Blödhgarm said. "We are merely guest, sent by Eragon to assist Murtagh. As you have been the one taking care of him, offering your home and services to see to his health and well-being, it is only natural that we offer you our services as well. Eragon would insist."
Her face was hot, and she ignored the obvious roll of the eyes from Murtagh as she continued. "Murtagh used a great deal of magic earlier to protect me from the predator you slayed," she said carefully, her eyes darting over to Denu to indicated to the elves that he was not privy to the Ra'zac, and that she wanted to keep it that way. "And this was after working all day. He's stubborn, but I know he's exhausted." He grunted, but didn't protest. "Perhaps you could let Eragon know that he will contact him first thing in the morning." She gave Murtagh a smile that was anything but sweet. "I'll personally see to it that he does."
He glowered at her from across the table and she raised a brow, challenging him to say something. He didn't.
Blödhgarm chuckled at the silent exchange. "Very well. We are happy to relay the message."
"Thank you," Hal breathed. "For everything," she added, realizing she hadn't thanked them properly for killing the Ra'zac either.
"It was our pleasure, my lady," he said, grinning so that his fangs showed. She shivered. How utterly bizarre.
She had no idea how she was going to explain their sudden appearance. Oh, the villagers were going to lose their minds if they found out. They had no space in the hut, but Blödhgarm insisted they would be fine on their own in the woods. Of that, based on how Murtagh had described elves, Hal had no doubt. But she still felt rather bad that she could not offer them more. They preferred to prepare their own meals, citing that they did not eat meat, which completely caught her by surprise. She had never heard of such a thing. But she wasn't an elf, and so she didn't question it. She directed them to a spot near the village that overflowed with edible greens, fruits, and freshwater and they thanked her graciously, promising to stay away from the villagers so as to not cause a scene.
By the time they were gone for the night, she had bathed, and she had gotten Denu settled, Murtagh was asleep on his cot when she went to check on him. Figures. She quietly cleaned up the area so that he wouldn't trip over anything should he awake in the middle of the night. She found that her head felt much clearer with Blödhgarm now gone, and she wondered if he was working some kind of magic spell over her, or if she was simply enthralled by his appearance. She would have to ask him in the morning if she got the chance.
She covered the torch, pitting the room in darkness. Once her eyes adjusted, she crept to Murtagh's cot, sitting on the edge, and set about unlacing his boots, pulling them off his feet. She certainly hoped he got enough sleep. After what he did today…his magic never ceased to amaze her. And he was almost never at his full capacity when he used it. By comparison, she sometimes struggled with the most basic of spells, her magic weakened by her own self-doubt.
She heard the change in his breathing as she set his boots to the side, and felt his hand grip the material of her nightgown. She turned to face him, his bleary, grey eyes already on her. "Are you still not tired?"
She smiled sadly. "Still not tired," she confirmed. "But don't worry about me. Just get some rest."
"I know you are a strong, fearsome, and capable woman," he said, his voice low and gravelly in a way that made her stomach flutter. He began to pull on her skirt as he spoke, and she chuckled, shaking her head as she followed his directive and sat down on the edge. "So please do not take offense when I say that I still cannot help but worry about you. Especially right now." In a surprisingly tender moment, he pushed a strand of hair from her face, his fingers grazing her cheek and making her skin feel even hotter. "I can see the fear in your eyes. I know what you're thinking. And I don't want your mind to wander to such places."
She could see it in his face that he wanted her to talk to him — wanted Hal to speak openly and honestly about what she saw when she closed her eyes. She had never truly elaborated on what happened to her in that cave, and still had little desire to do so. Yet part of her did want to unburden herself, hoped that it might ease some of what still lingered, what the sight of the Ra'zac today had reawakened.
She turned her head quickly, not realizing she had begun to cry and not wanting him to see. Of course it was too late, and as she struggled to hide her tears, Murtagh sat up slowly. "Oh Hal."
"Do not worry about me, please. Lie back down." He didn't listen. Sometimes it felt like he never did. And she told him this as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her against his chest. Such gestures still felt strange to her, but never unwarranted like she would have expected. He was like a wall when one was exhausted: sturdy, reliable to lean on for rest and support. She could feel his muscles rippling underneath his tunic that he had yet to change, his heart beating against her back.
Soon enough, Hal allowed herself to relax, fully leaning into his embrace. She felt him breathe once, as if relieved. She was still surprised by his more affectionate moments, when he put all of his energy into her well-being for reasons she could not fathom. Even before they had become so close, there had been flashes of it. But she was equally surprised by how much she responded to them, physically and mentally.
The feeling of being cocooned by him felt like lying under a thick blanket, and Hal felt safe. Safe in his arms. Safe by his side. It was, perhaps, the only reason she had not completely lost her mind when the Ra'zac had appeared, because when something told her to look at him, his eyes had born into hers as if to say she would be okay. To reassure her that no matter what happened, he would protect her.
And for that, she was grateful. And ashamed.
Staring at the wall, her tongue thick and her heart heavy with emotions, she closed her eyes and said, "Seeing it again, after all this time…it suddenly felt like my attack was yesterday. Everything that I had felt in that cave…and the attack on my mind felt so similar. Like I was trapped in darkness, with no chance of escape…" Her voice caught and she wipe gritted her teeth, ducking her head to hide a fresh wave of tears even though Murtagh couldn't see. He didn't speak, waiting patiently for her to regain her composure and continue. "Everything I had felt in that cave, the helplessness, the thoughts that I would rather die than endure such pain ever again, consumed me. I swear, it even felt like my hands were cramping in all the spots where my bones had been broken and I don't know, maybe the attack on my mind frazzled me more than I expected. But despite all of your efforts to teach me, had you not been there today, I don't know what I would have done. I saw it and my mind went completely blank. And I'm so angry that it has such a hold over me. I hate that it makes me so afraid."
His grip had tightened on her as she spoke and she took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. She wiped her face, sniffling and feeling utterly ridiculous and pathetic. The exact opposite of what Murtagh had claimed her to be just moments before.
"It's like that for me too sometimes," he said in a low voice. "And for Thorn. I could be fine, doing absolutely nothing of importance or perhaps talking with someone and I hear something, or they say something that suddenly takes me back to those chambers where we were beaten and broken. Nothing but his dogs to serve at his command. Of course, my own shame comes when I think of whether I could've fought harder, been less cruel to others as a result of my own failings."
"You do get this far away look sometime," Hal confirmed in a low voice, knowing it well. She had figured he was thinking about the past, but had never wanted to ask and be sure, in case the topic was uncomfortable for him.
She could feel him nodding. "As do you. Once you stopped in the middle of doing laundry — do you remember? Took me forever to get your attention. I often wonder where you go when you are not here."
Uden, she thought to herself. Or that cave.
"You don't have to tell me," he reminded her gently. "But just remember that Thorn and I are here when you wish to talk. When you feel that you are ready to talk."
She nodded slowly, and his arms dropped from her waist, and she felt rather exposed without his embrace. But he moved so that she may stand on her own two feet, and she straightened her nightgown before turning to look at him.
"Does it not bother you, that you can talk to me so freely and yet I share almost nothing with you?"
He gave her a look that was all the answer she needed, but she still wanted to hear it from his mouth, in his own words. He pushed his hair from his face, and she quietly vowed to trim his ends later. "It doesn't bother me," he said, and she could hear the truth in his voice. "If anything, sometimes I feel guilty — like perhaps I'm sharing too much. Overburdening you."
"I don't mind it," she said quickly, not wanting him to presume she was upset by it. "I like that you feel as though you can trust me with such truths."
"I don't 'feel' as though I can trust you, Hal. I do trust you. Perhaps that is why you cannot share these things with me yet. They do require a level of trust that takes years to establish."
She shook her head. "I do trust you." She sat down on the edge of his cot again, facing him this time. "Today, when the Ra'zac appeared and I was scared out of my mind, something told me to look at you. And when I did, I felt almost safe. I knew that you would do anything in your power to protect me. But it wasn't enough to just know it, I felt it, in my heart and my bones and my muscles, that you would fight for me, if it came to that. I trust you, implicitly, rider." She smiled, hesitating, but feeling bold enough to press her fingers to his cheek, then laying her palm on the smooth skin. She was hardly ever so intrepid, yet she felt that he, while still adjusting to it as well, did not mind such soft touches. She thought of his expression when she had first kissed his cheek, how stunned he had seemed at something that Hal had received her entire life. And his expression now seemed similar under her touch.
"It is hard not to feel safe with someone whose voice called to you, and brought you back from the brink of death," she added quietly. "I am grateful to you, Murtagh. For so many things. Please, never forget that." He nodded, eyes piercing even in the dark. She smiled sardonically. "I'm especially grateful to you now that you've stayed. I wonder how long it would have taken before you stopped checking in with me during your travels."
He huffed, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "I bloody knew you would bring this up."
"I can't believe you haven't checked in with Eragon in months. You probably worried him sick."
"I had a good reason," he muttered, folding his arms across his chest.
"Oh well, then please, do tell." Hal stared at him expectantly, and he carefully avoided her gaze before mumbling something under his breath. "Use your outside voice, rider."
He glared at her again, then sighed and said, "I thought I was protecting you."
Her stance softened a bit in surprise. "Protecting…? From Eragon?"
"Yes. No. I don't know. I was concerned that if I told him that I had found you, told him the truth of the Ra'zac, that he would tell someone I didn't want to know. Someone like the queen. I even convinced Thorn that I could handle it. So that your life, and that of the villagers', would not face further disruption. And after that…"
"Let me guess, you forgot?"
He pressed his lips together tightly in an effort not to laugh, but Hal did not. Murtagh was shaking his head. "I can't believe he sent bloody elves to find me."
"Don't be mean, he was worried about you."
Murtagh looked at her. "Well if it is any consolation, if I had chosen to leave, I would have never forgotten to check in with you."
"That's because I'm more interesting than Eragon," she said teasingly, fluttering her lashes at him.
"And much prettier," he added.
His gaze was too intent to be anything less than serious, and Hal hid her pleased, flustered smile by turning her head as though to laugh. She momentarily couldn't find the words to speak, but eventually covered herself by returning his gaze. "Careful rider," she said teasingly. "Any more presumptuous flattery of that regard and you'll give the people something to talk about."
He snorted and Hal laughed to release the tension in her chest. She rose to her feet once more. "I'll see you in the morning, rider."
She knew he was exhausted. By the time she finished resetting the room, he was out. As she watched him sleep, something in her chest unfurled, slowly. A bit of warmth, a bit of strength, she had not felt in quite some time. He always looked so at ease lately when he slept, like he had peace of mind. And she wanted that for him, desperately, she was surprised to find. All he had done for her. The laughter and joy and friendship he had given her these last few months had taken her by surprise, but she cherished them all the same.
She took one last look at his lingering face, committing it to memory. A surge of protectiveness swarmed her, and she vowed to up her training. She would study longer, fight harder, and learn faster. So that she could be the one putting up the shields. So that she could finally begin to fight back, reclaiming not just her life, but his as well. She didn't want him fighting such battles. Not when he had been swinging swords all his life, looking over his shoulder. She had wanted him to stay by her side, and he had for reasons she had yet to ask. But he had stayed.
She would fight for them all. Not just for her village. For Murtagh and Thorn too. She would claw her way through the muck if she had to, face the nightmares and fight them through her tears if she must. But these people were all she had. She would die before she let anyone or anything take such joys from her again.
…
Hal was sweating, her arms heavy with exhaustion as she swung Murtagh's hand-and-a-half sword over her head, practicing the steps, thrusts, and blocks that Murtagh had taught her, committing the movements to memory. She was submerged in water up to her waist, using the resistance to build her strength. She was tired, but she pushed herself to continue, knowing that she would reap the benefits of her efforts in a couple of months.
She had slipped out before the sun broke across the sky, wanting as much time to practice on her own before her attention and time was commandeered by chores, the villagers, and their newest companions. She paused in thought, ignoring how her arms began to shake the longer she held the sword before her. She did not know what to make of the elves — she felt wary and intrigued by them. But Murtagh did not seem pressed, so she pushed the thoughts aside for now to focus on something she actually could control.
Suddenly, her vision temporarily faded out and she felt lightheaded. Hal stumbled, struggling to keep her balance as the sword slipped from her grasp. She fell, only just cognizant enough to sway to the side so that she did not impale herself on the blade by accident. But her limbs felt locked as she hit the water, unable to move as she sank to the muddy bottom.
And just as quickly as it had come, the fit had passed. It took Hal a few moments to realize she had control of her body again, but before she could move, pale arms were reaching into the water and pulling her out with little effort. Hal gasped as she broke the surface, coughing up water as the female elf pulled her to the grassy bank. Her thin brows were pressed with concern as Hal turned and coughed up water in the grass.
"Are you all right?" the woman asked carefully, her voice very no-nonsense, yet not harsh either.
"I-I think so." She wasn't quite sure herself what had even happened. There was a slight pulse behind her eyes, like a minor headache. Nothing to indicate what had caused her to seize like she had. Perhaps a lingering side-effect of the attack on her mind. It had only been a few days, and the stress from the Ra'zac probably had not helped matters. "Were you following me?" Hal asked, realizing there was no way the elf had just stumbled upon her by accident.
"I've been with you since you left the village. It's not wise to wander on your own not knowing if more Ra'zac lurk in the woods."
Hal's eyes narrowed. "Did the rider set you up to this?"
"I came of my own free will."
Hal looked the woman over carefully, unnerved by the fact that she, who was often perceptive enough to hear even the smallest of critters, had no idea the elf was tailing her the entire time.
"When you did not rise from the water, I came to your aid immediately. Do you often have spells like that?"
Hal shook her head. "Thank you, for your help. And for killing that Ra'zac yesterday."
The woman nodded before helping Hal carefully to her feet. She also retrieved Murtagh's sword from the water, offering to carry it despite Hal's protests that she was fine. "We should head back now," was all the woman said, and Hal felt little inclination to argue with her.
…
Murtagh was standing with Thorn and Blödhgarm when Hal and the female elf appeared. When he took in the slow pace with which Hal walked, as if she were pained, and her soaked clothes, he quickly closed the distance between them.
"I'm fine," Hal said immediately, knowing the question before he could ask it.
"You don't look fine, Hal. You're soaked."
"She collapsed suddenly," the elf said with a non-committal expression, ignoring Hal's look of irritation. "She had a fit of some kind."
His wide eyes went back to Hal who steadily avoided his gaze. "A fit? Like the one from the other day?"
"If this is a health concern, I recommend she not travel alone."
"It's not a health concern," Hal snapped quickly. "And I'll travel whenever and wherever I like."
"Hal, there could be more Ra'zac out there," Murtagh argued.
"Those woods are my haven. I will not let my fear of them take that from me too."
He licked his lips, his resolve crippling the longer he looked into the fire in her eyes. "We'll talk about that later. Right now, I want to know what happened."
"May I at least change first?"
Murtagh nodded and Hal ducked her head, as if embarrassed, as she rushed past them into the hut. The female elf addressed him without looking at him. "You've been teaching her to fight, Shur'tugal," the woman commented. When Murtagh gave her a curious expression, the woman added, "She had been practicing ever since she left the village. Which was very early this morning, I might add."
"You were with her?"
"I observed from a distance."
It was all she would say on the matter, which was fine with him. He felt a little better that Hal hadn't been on her own, but something told him the elf likely cared little for his gratitude. Her stoic features were that of someone who saw to her duties without question or complaint, and he would certainly not interfere so long as Hal was safe.
"Is everything with the lady all right?" Blödhgarm asked as Murtagh and the woman approached.
"It's…a long story," Murtagh grunted, pushing his hair back from his face.
"Then perhaps it is time for us to get in touch with Eragon."
…
"Murtagh tells me he's been teaching you a bit of magic and swordsmanship," Blödhgarm commented casually. "How do you find your lessons?"
Hal swallowed thickly, her cheeks burning as she gripped the straps of her bag tightly, fighting not to lean in to the spectacular-looking elf and take a deep breath. The same scents as yesterday still seemed to linger around him, and she felt almost dizzy with it.
"They're good," she responded, unable to meet his gaze and bashfully staring at the ground. "Murtagh is a wonderful teacher. I've enjoyed learning from him."
"Is that so? If you don't mind me asking, what all has he managed to cover?"
"Oh, umm…" But she struggled to think beyond the cloudiness in her mind. The odor was so enticing, and she could not help but think of laying out in the grass with a book and a cool breeze, or riding with Nani in the early mornings. And the permeating smell of eucalyptus and pine continued to stretch in the background of her mind with each passing thought, soothing yet arousing at the same time.
"Are you familiar with horehound, lady," he asked suddenly, a polite smile on his face that showed off his fangs.
Hal blinked. "Please, just call me Halen. And no, I'm not. What is it?"
"A plant with a particularly acidic taste. It counters the smell that follows me because of my appearance."
Hal's face burned as she froze in place. She was utterly mortified that he had known and she had no idea what to say.
"Do not be alarmed, you are not the first woman it has affected."
"It only effects women?" She asked suspiciously, eyeing him carefully as if he meant to trap her, like a fly drawn to the scent of a plant that meant to eat it. She rushed forward to keep up with him and his rather effortless strides.
"I do not mean any harm by it. When I took this appearance, the musk came with it like it would for many predators seeking to find a mate."
Hal blushed even harder. "Is that your intention or are you annoyed to have women buzzing about you all the time?"
He laughed. "Admittedly I am not usually around human women, so I do not think of it often. Elven women, like Invidia," he gestured to the woman ahead of them and Hal was grateful to finally have a name, "don't notice it. Nor do men."
"Well," Hal added teasingly, "there are many things men do not notice so that is no surprise."
Blödhgarm laughed again. "I suppose you are right. Well when you both are able, ask the Dragon Rider to place a ward over you that blocks my scent. I think you'll find yourself more clearheaded and my presence more tolerated."
"Can you not do it?"
He smiled, leaning in close as if telling her a secret, and whispered, "I can. But I fear the wrath of Morzansson if I lay a hand on you, even if it's for your own good."
"What do you mean? He wouldn't —"
"I can tell that he is very protective of you," the elf clarified. "If only because he has been staring daggers into the back of my head since we left the village."
Hal bit her lower lip, unsure if she could take Blödhgarm at his word. Yet, when she glanced over her shoulder, she found that Murtagh was, indeed, looking quite put out and glaring at them. When he caught Hal's incredulous gaze, he turned his head.
Unbelievable.
She shook her head, torn between annoyance and amusement. But she pushed the thoughts from her mind for now. "Would it be all right if I asked you a question?"
The elf tilted his head as if pondering her question. "Am I right to assume you have more than one?"
"You are, but I will refrain from bogging you down with my curiosity. The only person I have met who can tolerate it is Murtagh — although I'm sure he wishes for my silence at times as well."
Blödhgarm gave her a kind smile. "I would not be so sure about that."
Before she could ask her question however, the woman, Invidia, stopped and turned around, nodding to Blödhgarm as if to say they had reached the spot she had been leading them to. The male elf stepped away, and Hal began to feel more herself. Remembering what she had been told, she turned to Murtagh as Thorn landed near his rider, the ground trembling under Hal's feet as he brought with him a rush of air. The man carefully avoided her gaze, and amusement won out at his bashful expression.
"I have a favor to ask of you," Hal began, trying to keep a teasing smile off her face as she neared him, clasping her hands behind her back. He grunted to show he was listening. "Blödhgarm claims that the musk that surrounds him due to his appearance has a tendency to affect women. It clouds my judgement. He says that you may place wards over me to prevent this from happening?"
Murtagh blinked, and she could not help but notice how his shoulders seemed to relax at her words. "Yes, of course. Come here."
Hal stood before him, trying to meet his gaze. "Is something else bothering you?"
"You could've been hurt today," he said in a low voice, getting straight to the point. "You could've died, had Invidia not been there. Why would you go off on your own so early in the morning? Invidia said you were practicing?"
Hal tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, the hair braided and left to hang past her neck. Although the day was not as hot as it had been, the curls were almost dry. "I was."
"Why did you not wake me? I would've gone with you."
"You needed to rest. And I needed to practice so that I can actually improve."
"You are improving."
"You're just saying that —"
"I'm not," he stressed, standing up straight and crossing his arms over his chest. With the muscle he had gained the past few months, his broad shoulders, and serious expression, he almost looked intimidating. "When have I ever lied to you?"
Hal didn't respond. She couldn't.
"Exactly," he said knowingly. "I know you're frustrated, Hal. I would be too. But until we know what we're up against, we've got to tread carefully. You can't be wandering around on your own."
"I can't ask you to stop what you're doing every time I need to get out of the village," Hal argued. "I would feel like nothing more than a burden at best."
"You are not a burden."
"You say that now but you might not think so morning after morning of me practicing in the woods."
He frowned. "Have you been practicing morning after morning?"
"Well that depends."
He raised a single brow at her. "On?"
"On whether or not I shouldn't have been."
He failed to hide his smile, shaking his head at her. "Start waking me up," he said sternly, and he didn't look away until Hal promised. He set the wards over her, and when Blödhgarm finally called them over, she found that she could, indeed, stand near him without losing her senses.
"Ready?" the elf asked Murtagh.
The rider nodded. "Let's get this over with."
…
Hal sat with Thorn while Murtagh, Invidia, and Blödhgarm spoke with Eragon first using a mirror that the elves had created with magic. She hadn't been able to see the Dragon Rider for herself from her spot, but she finally gave up and waited for them to finish.
You seem bored, Hal, Thorn commented with amusement.
And you're not? If I had known they were just going to stand there and talk I would've made myself useful back in the village. She laid back in the warm grass, turning her head to look at Thorn who stared back. What was Eragon like, in your opinion? Murtagh does not always seem…fond of his brother.
The dragon sighed. A difficult question, as my interactions with him were brief and often entailed us fighting one another. But he is a good man. There was a moment where he could've killed Murtagh, but he didn't. He showed him mercy. And for that, I will always be grateful.
As am I. I'm glad you both are here.
As are we.
"Hal."
She turned her head to find Murtagh looking over at her. She gave him a questioning look, knowing what he was asking even though he had not said anything. He nodded, giving her a soft smile to ease her mind. She rose carefully to her feet, mindful not to trip over her skirt. She was unsure why she suddenly felt nervous. Murtagh had spoken of his half-brother in rather simple detail, strained, like it hurt to think about him. He had shown her flashes of him when he was in her mind, but this felt…different. Like a legend come to life.
Murtagh must've sensed her nervousness, because he placed a comforting hand at the small of her back as she neared, moving to the side so that she may face the mirror. She blinked at the face before her. And the face blinked right back, equally surprised. But just that quickly, he masked his features and smiled. "You must be Halen."
"And you must be Eragon. It's nice to finally meet you."
"The feeling is mutual. Murtagh told me how you two met. I wish I could thank you in-person for saving his life and for taking care of him all this time."
"I should be thanking you," Hal said bashfully at his kindness. "He and Thorn have been good to me and my people. We're happy to have them here. Something that, according to my understanding, wouldn't have happened without your insistence."
Eragon looked happy to hear that. "I hear much has happened these last few months. Murtagh explained some of it from his perspective but, if you don't mind, I'd like to hear from you as well."
Hal looked at Murtagh, who nodded his encouragement. She turned back to Eragon in the mirror, speaking slowly and carefully, first of her village's growing issue with the lovuk months before she had even found Murtagh and Thorn. Her tale seemed far-fetched, even to her own ears. And yet the fact that it was true made her heart heavy. So much had indeed happened in such a short amount of time.
When she got to her torture by the Ra'zac, she began to stumble over her words, trying to speak without remembering. Trying to keep her voice neutral and unaffected. Murtagh quickly touched the back of her hand as Eragon said, "Murtagh has explained what happened. Do not stress yourself for my benefit. And do know that you have my deepest apologies for what you endured."
She nodded, grateful that Murtagh did not immediately move his hand, sensing her unease. It took her a few moments to regain her composure — to bring her mind out of the cave and back to the forest. Without thinking, she grabbed Murtagh's hand to ground her, and he squeezed back without question. She felt rather silly, how anxious it still made her. How frightened. But no one made a single insensitive comment or gave her a pitying look, only ones of patience. For that, she was relieved.
Relaying the attack on her mind was harder, because it still didn't make sense, not even to her. It had been so sudden and unexpected — and she had yet to figure out how whoever was behind it know to attack her specifically. She recalled as much of the details as she could, especially when she was able to push back. Perhaps they would all be able to make sense of it. For the first time, Hal realized she was talking with two elves and two Dragon Riders. And she was struck once again by how quickly her life had changed.
"It was strange," she finished, her gaze distant as she relived what it felt like to be in the other person's mind — at least that is where she presumed to have gone. "I was surrounded by what felt like hundreds of voices, screaming and wailing as if in pain and in bloodlust. It was…frightening. But there was one, like a…like a…" She struggled for the right word, and then an image flashed into her mind. A creature that had warned her and Murtagh of the approaching Ra'zac. And Murtagh had said it was called a —
"Spirits," she said, snapping her fingers together. "Or souls, something like that. I told Murtagh voices, but they had too much of a presence as well. The one that warned me that she — whoever she is — was coming was a voice. But when I was being attacked, it felt like hundreds of souls, distinct yet…strong. And there was one who seemed almost frightened, like it was hiding. Do you know what it could…be?" She blinked. "Have I done something wrong?"
When Hal was done talking, both Eragon and Murtagh looked like they had aged several years. "You're sure of this, Halen," Eragon pressed. "You would describe the presence you felt as hundreds of souls, not just voices?"
"Yes."
"You're absolutely sure," Murtagh stressed, looking almost pained. "You said voices the first time you told me what happened, but now you're positive it was souls or spirits."
"Yes. I don't know how I can explain my confidence, but it just feels right. They felt like whole beings, just without a physical body."
"Demons above and below," Murtagh groaned.
"Halen, you're sure?" Invidia asked.
"Yes," she breathed, second-guessing herself because of the number of times they had asked her the same question. "Please, just tell me — what's this all about? What's going on?"
"Eragon," Murtagh began, his voice tight.
"Yes, I know."
"There's not one on the island, I know that for a fact. Thorn has been diligent in his flights, we've checked for wards. There's nothing, not even a hint of the Ra'zac despite the one the managed to catch us off guard yesterday."
"We have not sensed anything since arriving either," Blödhgarm added.
"Which means they're not on the island?"
"And yet they can attack her mind? It makes no sense! Even if they were just one island over, that level of magic —"
"I know," Eragon repeated, his voice solemn.
"Shit," Murtagh hissed, releasing her hand as he began to pace in a nerve-wracking manner. Then he suddenly shouted, punching a nearby tree, causing Hal to jump.
Eragon did not miss her reaction. "All right, that's enough, Murtagh. Remember where you are."
Hal took a shaky breath as Murtagh's eyes darted over to her, some of the fight leaving his shoulders. She looked between the two, waiting for someone to say something.
"I'm confused," she admitted, her voice shaking. "Did I do something wrong?"
Murtagh's demeanor softened, but his eyes remained troubled. "No. No, you did everything right. I just…"
"We're realizing we are dealing with more than we expected," Eragon finished, his tone clipped in a failed attempt to hide his concern. "A Shade."
"The being, with the many souls you encountered," Blödhgarm clarified. "When you used magic to turn their attack against them, you somehow found entry into their mind instead."
"I had almost an exact experience with another Shade named Durza years ago," Eragon said grimly, clearly troubled by the memory. "It is not a pleasant experience, what you endured. I know."
Blödhgarm continued. "The multiple souls you encountered is the result of sorcery creating a Shade. It's the only explanation that fits."
"Sorcery," Hal stated slowly, recalling her earlier lessons with Murtagh surrounding the different types of magic. "That's magic that uses spirits to do its bidding?"
"Aye," said Eragon. "But the nature of a Shade is much more malevolent. It entails the act of souls possessing the body of a living being. Because the very nature of possession is rooted in evil, so is the creature it creates. Shades are dangerous, even to dragon riders. They have a prowess that could match even the Ra'zac in inhuman speed and strength. But they are deadlier the stronger they become over time, because they can use magic and they can only be killed by a shot through the heart. Nothing more, nothing less."
To know that there was something worse than the Ra'zac…of course there had to be, if they had succumbed to it. But for perhaps the two most powerful people Hal had ever met — which wasn't saying much, but she supposed their past spoke for itself — and two elves to look this concerned. And then she recalled the pain of the souls she had encountered. How she had felt overwhelmed with thoughts of bloodlust and violence. And she felt her throat squeeze, struggling not to let panic overwhelm her as she struggled to speak.
"There are people on this island," she whispered. "Not just my village, but others as well. Are they safe? Are we safe? Am I —?" The last question died on her lips, and Murtagh's gaze hardened.
Silence. She knew, from promises they could not make because they could not be kept.
Memories, of another village that had burned because of her. And now she had brought danger to Illium. The thought of more Ra'zac appearing on the island, appearing in her village, was horrifying enough after what had been done to Eli and to her. But something worse was out there — how far would a Shade go to get what it wanted? To get her? And what would happen to her if it succeeded? She couldn't survive another torture. Not just physically, but mentally as well. Enduring that again would push her to insanity. But would it torture her or did it want her dead? Was that worse than if it wanted her alive? Did it even want her?
She could feel the panic rising in her chest, the same sensation she felt in the middle of one of her nightmares. Her heart was racing under her clothes, making it impossible to catch her breath. Pained tears began to pinch her eyes and she mumbled something incoherent, trying to say she needed a minute but doubting the words came out as such. She struggled to stay on her feet, shaking in terror as she tried to distance herself from the others before she completely lost her composure.
Of course, Murtagh stopped her before she got far. Standing in front of her with a stern look on his face, his hands gripping her arms and holding her steady. "Get it out of your mind, Hal."
"I just need a minute to myself."
"You need to breathe, Hal. If you keep panting at this rate, you'll pass out."
"I can't—"
"Look at me, Hal. Look at me." She soon raised her head, her chest heaving like she had just finished running at full speed around the entirety of the island. He took her face in his hands, just like he would if she were having a nightmare, inhaling sharply and exhaling slowly so that she mimicked him, until her breathing slowed and her tears of helplessness fell.
"It's looking for me," she seethed, a burning rage and helplessness competing for her emotions. "The Ra'zac might as well have said so themselves, and the attack on my mind only proves it."
"It proves nothing. And now, thanks to you, we at least know what we're up against. We've been flying blind for months. It's not the news we wanted, no, but I promise you, Hal, we're in a much better place knowing what we're fighting than knowing nothing at all."
It was hardly any comfort, this knowledge. "I just need a minute to myself," she repeated, her voice numb. She sidestepped him and he did not stop her as she forged ahead. She was sure she was being followed, perhaps by Invidia again. But she didn't turn to confirm it, caring very little about not having her privacy as she finally succumbed to her fears and collapsed to the ground.
…
There was a heavy silence as Murtagh watched Hal leave, her shoulders stiff as she struggled to save face. He wished, desperately, that she would let him in, even just a little. He had an inkling of what she was thinking, but he knew this information had to be overwhelming. Frightening even. And his outburst had not helped matters either.
"Will she be all right?" Eragon asked as Invidia, without any notion from anyone, left of her own accord to keep an eye on Hal.
Murtagh genuinely didn't know. There was much, he was realizing, that he didn't know about Hal. Her reservations, her tendency to keep certain matters and thoughts to herself, left his speculation up to the imagination. All he could confirm was, "She is perhaps one of the strongest people I know. Stubbornly so. She is shaken, but she will do anything for her people. She is not easily broken."
Eragon looked at him then. "You two have become close."
"She and her village have been good to Thorn and me," Murtagh commented, completely missing that Eragon had said it as a statement. "I have come to value their friendship and their kindness. These are good people, Eragon. Thorn and I will do everything in our power to protect them."
His half-brother looked at him with a delighted surprise. Scratching the back of his head, Eragon said, "I admit that I half thought you were spending all of this time avoiding me."
"I was."
But Eragon didn't take offense. Or he didn't notice, pressing on as if he hadn't heard. "It didn't occur to me that you had made a life for yourself there. I feel rather silly, because I had been planning on asking if you and Thorn would wish to join us when you left Illium." He gave Murtagh a pointed look. "But something tells me you wish to stay."
Murtagh found himself smiling. Despite the weeks of inner turmoil he had caused himself, the answer came much easily to him now. "I do."
Eragon nodded. "I figured as much. Here's what I was think —"
He paused, looking past Murtagh's shoulder. Murtagh turned around and breathed as Hal came stomping towards them. That fire was in her eyes, roaring with an intensity that he had never seen before. Her eyes were red, but otherwise all traces of her tears were gone.
"Tell me everything you know about Shades," she demanded, her tone reminding him of when they had first met, how hard it would get when she spoke with him. Steely. He shivered at it now, hearing the control he had not thought to hear before. The strength behind it. "What do they look like, how do they move, how does their magic work, their strengths, their weaknesses, their speed, everything. If there is something you deem irrelevant, tell me anyway, and then some."
Murtagh could not help but grin, feeling that as long as she was fighting, she would be okay. Eragon looked stunned, then smiled. "Yes ma'am."
They spoke for what felt like hours. No, it was hours. The sun rose to its peak then began to sink as they went in circles about defensive tactics, different combinations of the Ancient Language they could use to construct various wards and shields around the village. Hal had grown quiet here, listening attentively and absorbing as much information as she could. Murtagh looked to her occasionally, finding her gaze focused as she struggled to keep up, but keep up she did. She never hesitated to ask questions, taking advantage of the opportunity to further her learning.
Occasionally, she rose from her spot to stretch her legs, pacing behind them or leaving with Invidia to find fruits and nuts for everyone to snack on. Murtagh was grateful to her for it, as his stomach growled viciously as he bit into an apple.
However, after standing, she did not return to his side for some time. And when he turned, he froze, his heart lurching in his chest at the sight before him. She had returned to Thorn's side, her back against a tree. She leaned against the warm hides of the dragon, sleeping soundly. Thorn's tail was wrapped around the tree, the smaller end on her lap as though a blanket. He snored quietly.
Murtagh couldn't quite comprehend the feelings of affection and peace that came over him then, watching them sleep. Hal did not fidget or twitch like she was having a nightmare. She slept as though, with Thorn by her side, she felt safe. He itched to join them.
"Perhaps this is enough for now," Blödhgarm stated, following Murtagh's gaze. The elf gave him a kind smile, as if knowing exactly what Murtagh had been thinking. "And you need to rest, Shur'tugal," he added, speaking to Eragon. "You must be rather famished from keeping the scrying up."
"It's not as bad as it used to be," Eragon said dismissively. "But I am hungry, and Saphira keeps nagging me to eat. Besides, we do have our next steps and more information than when we started this conversation."
Blödhgarm and Invidia stepped away so that Eragon and Murtagh may speak in private for a moment. When they were alone, Eragon let out a slow breath. "It seems I owe Halen many thanks for all she has done and endured."
"You and me both," Murtagh grunted.
"You seem happier," Eragon commented. "Perhaps the sun is better for you than the ice and snow of the north."
"Whatever it is you want to say, just say it."
Eragon smiled. "I'm only trying to say you seem well. Better. And I'm glad for it. I'm glad you have found a place that brings you peace."
Murtagh didn't know what to say to that, glancing over at Hal and Thorn again.
"Murtagh…I think, well this may sound insane but —"
"Hal is the child," he stated nonplussed. When Eragon blinked, Murtagh just shook his head. "We already figured it out. She's at the center of all of this. Her and her magic. And if you age the features you first gave me —"
"Aye. When I first saw her, I knew almost immediately. Even though she's much older, all this time…it's like I do know her, in some way. If that even makes sense."
Murtagh nodded.
"You promise you will actually keep in touch from now on?"
Murtagh opened his mouth to tell Eragon to shove it when Hal sleepily interrupted. "I will see to it that he does, Eragon!"
Murtagh shot her an incredulous look, but she was already cozying up to Thorn, and he felt almost weak the longer her looked at her. "You heard the woman," he said bitingly.
"Indeed, I did," Eragon said with a laugh. "Take care, Murtagh."
When Eragon faded from view, Murtagh turned on his heel. "How long were you eavesdropping?"
"Relax, rider. It's not like you were trying to be private about it."
Her brown eyes followed him as he sat down in front of her. "I owe you an apology for my behavior earlier. I should've controlled myself better. I didn't mean to startle you."
"I wish I had punched a tree rather than cry. I hate when people see me like that."
"Why?"
She leaned forward, her expression unreadable as she cupped his cheek in her hand. He fought to suppress a shiver at the touch. "Because now there is more worry in your eyes than before. And I did not want to add to it. These last few weeks, where it was gone, were like something out of dream. I feel like I was the one who brought it all crashing down around you. I like seeing you happy, and when you smile and laugh. I didn't want to take that from you."
"You bear too much on your own," he challenged. "And I'd rather know what we're up against now than have it blindside us later — when it's too late."
Her eyes became sad then, and she did not bother disputing the truth of his words. He took her hands in his, lowering them to his lap. She stared at their hands for a moment, her scars glaring.
"I remember the first time I laughed, after I came to Illium," she said in a low voice, her eyes distant. "I don't remember what was said or done, all I know was that Eli and Cado had been bickering in that way that they do. It was over something mundane. And I just remember…laughing. A real laugh, for the first time in almost a year. Before that I had been consumed by this nothingness that grew heavier to bear with each passing day…but in that moment, I felt almost light. I just…laughed.
"Everyone looked completely shocked. Almost like they thought the day would never come to pass that they would see me smile." Her face became pained. "They looked so happy, rider. So happy for me and in that moment, I remembered how it felt to be loved and cared for and protected. It was still hard, afterwards, but I tried harder, for the first time since Denu took me in, I tried to put their needs above my own. I wanted to pay them back for all they had done for me, all I had put them through. And I realized that in doing so, in thinking of someone else, I didn't have to worry about my own feelings or emotions. I could easily push those aside for the sake of someone else. It was just as selfish as it was selfless.
"And now, sometimes I forget what these feelings even are. I am quick to worry about the villagers and their safety, but did not think twice of my own when I left for the woods this morning. I demand you sleep and eat but sometimes I will ignore such desires because I am too busy to think about them. Sometimes I feel like if I didn't have someone else to worry about, I would disappear entirely. Like without others, I am nothing."
He had no words. His chest was tight with emotion. There was so much he wished he knew so that he could help. So that he could provide the comfort she needed. Yet all he could think to do was pull her into his chest, slowly wrapping his arms around her shoulders. He was thankful that she had revealed such personal matters to him. They explained so much about her, and he felt closer to her. Trusted.
"You are not 'nothing' nor have you ever been," Murtagh said at last. "Not to me or Thorn, and not to the villagers. And I hope, one day, my actions will be proof of that, so that you don't have to just take me at my word."
She didn't respond, just snuggled deeper into his chest, which made his face hot. But he held on tightly regardless.
"I never noticed before," she said sleepily, "how nice you smell."
He chuckled. "I smell nice?"
She hummed contentedly. "Like… eucalyptus," she inhaled gently, "and pine."