There was a strange, almost unspoken agreement that night as everyone returned home, one that felt different than when they had returned after nearly being killed by the Ra'zac themselves. Murtagh knew it was because, before, they had been imagining what their loss would do to their families. Now, the men and Hal seemed even more shaken at the thought of what they would do if they lost their families. So, after returning to their respective huts for a few hours of rest, Murtagh was not really surprised to see everyone walking towards Denu's hut, armed with dishes of food.
The children ran to Thorn and Denu, who kept them preoccupied with stories, the little ones nestling against Thorn's warm hide, much like Hal always did when she was near him. And Murtagh had to turn his head to hide his tears at the sight. Layla, of course, stayed near Hal, who instructed her on how to properly set the tables that Murtagh and the men had set up out back for everyone to fit. The wives heated up the food in the kitchen, gossiping animatedly.
No one, not even Hal, seemed as depressed. At least not in this particular moment. As the food was laid out, the smell delightful and overpowering, there was not a single sad face in the group. Thorn, who had hunted his own meal, laid near the edge of the table, Murtagh beside him. Hal sat on Murtagh's right, Denu beside her. They swapped stories, many of their adventures they had gotten into on their hunts. They teased and joked and laughed until they cried, and it didn't hit Murtagh until halfway through that he no longer felt like a stranger. It hadn't really dawned on him, how quickly things had changed. He would often keep to himself, listen rather than participate. The only person he had ever really spoken to had been Hal.
Now, the inside jokes no longer made him feel like an outsider. He picked on others, and got picked on himself. That's right, he remembered. This was his home now. Even Hal herself had proclaimed it during the confrontation with Berjis. He was a part of the Tenari village. This precious, remote little village, overflowing with laughter and love, had welcomed him and Thorn with open arms.
And to think, you would have left if not for me, Thorn teased.
Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. Murtagh threw his chicken bone at him, and Thorn snapped it out of the air so suddenly that the children cheered and shouted for him to do another trick. Thorn backed away from the tables, raising his head and blowing fire into the air. Murtagh muttered under his breath, using the Ancient Language to convert the flames into fireworks. The adults shouted in surprise, the little ones shrieking in delight.
Murtagh laughed, happy to oblige as the children begged for more. They were especially fond of the ones that danced around them in the shape of butterflies. He felt arms encircle his waist, and looked over at Hal as she tucked herself under his arm. She carefully avoided his gaze however, and he wavered for a moment, the smile falling from his face. Hal had turned her head, briefly hiding her face in his chest, wiping quickly and faintly at her cheeks. And just as quickly, she was composed, almost no one the wiser except Murtagh. But she was still laughing with the children, and he did not want to bring down the mood by commenting on what he had seen. Instead, he kissed her forehead before pulling her in closer. Practically every adult at the table was grinning at them now, making him blush as he pretended to ignore them. But Hal didn't notice, Murtagh avoiding their suggestive stares as he continued to help Thorn entertain the children, unable to keep a smile off his face as he lost himself in the sounds of their squealing laughter.
When the kids all wore themselves out and fell asleep, curled up against Thorn, the adults began to clean and tidy up. It was a quick effort, and suddenly the hut was quiet once more. Hal helped get Denu into bed, shutting his door behind her. Murtagh watched from the doorframe to his room as Hal strolled quietly over to him. Her expression was almost unreadable, but there was something in her gaze that made him blush. And as she neared the entrance to his room, he found himself stepping aside to let her through. And before he could overthink it, he followed in after her, closing the door behind him.
Hal sat down on the bench against the wall, and Murtagh joined her. And for a while, they sat in silence, their shoulders and thighs pressed against each other. And yet, in that moment, it wasn't enough. Not for Murtagh. He glanced down and noticed how tightly her hands were folded in her lap. And he reached out and took her hand in his, relishing in the feel of her fingers curling around his, the hold reassuring where words failed them.
But still, it wasn't enough.
Murtagh turned his head to look at her, and Hal caught the movement out of the corner of her eye and turned to face him as well. He inhaled sharply, taken by the look in her eyes. It was the same one she had worn the night of the wedding. Even he could not mistake the desire in her gaze. He felt his body come alive, as if at her command.
She gave him a small smile, and he could not tell if she knew the effect she was having on him. He wondered if she even realized how she looked at him lately, and that it was enough to make him weak of both mind and body. "You look like you are thinking mighty hard there, Dragon Rider."
He shook his head. "No, just thinking."
"About…what happened?"
He shook his head again. "About you."
He could've sworn he heard her breath catch. And his eyes briefly went to her lips as she nervously licked them. "What about me?"
But he didn't respond. He couldn't. He wasn't ready to put into words the fear he had felt that night in the Xano village, of not knowing where she was. Of not knowing if he was too late. And how, just hours before, he had stupidly told her that he needed more time before they moved towards what was starting to feel inevitable. The pull he had felt towards her for so long felt stronger than ever now. Because she was right there in front of him. And he could not help but remember what she had once told him, months ago under different circumstances:
That even for the saintly, tomorrow is not guaranteed to be as kind as today.
That's what tonight had felt like, and he was sure that was why everyone had gathered. To remind themselves of the good they still had, even if it was just for one more night. To laugh together, and relish in the bonds of friendships they had forged. To appreciate the smallest moments, that they might cling to them for a little bit longer.
"Murtagh?"
Her voice was low and unsure, and he could tell she was nervous. His heart was racing in his chest, his mind fighting with what his heart and body so desperately wanted. He had meant what he had said: he wanted to be stronger. Someone who was fit to stand at Hal's side. Someone as resilient and strong as she. Yet he did not want to think of what could happen if he missed his chance entirely. He did not want his time with Hal to be forced or a series of missteps. For her, he wanted every moment to be perfect.
But he also just wanted her. And he wanted to start over and do what he should've done so many nights ago.
He lifted his hand to her face, enthralled with the way his palm fit and cradled her cheek, the warmth of her skin under his fingertips. He ran his thumb across her cheekbone and licked his lips. Voice breaking with nerves he asked, "Do you dare me to be so presumptuous?"
Hal stared at him for a moment, her confusion obvious. Perhaps she thought he was drunk. Then her eyes widened as she remembered, then frowned in confusion again. She studied him for a moment, realizing what he was doing. And he knew she was debating whether or not to respond to him. To take that small leap of faith into something completely unknown for either of them. She exhaled slowly, never taking her eyes off of him. "And if I did?" she asked, her voice breathless with nerves. "Would you accept such a challenge?"
Feeling emboldened now with her response, he leaned forward, his voice dropping as he said, "I would do whatever it was you wished of me."
She hesitated, but only for a moment. "Even if I told you to kiss me?"
He smiled. "Even then."
He brought his other hand to her other cheek, smoothing her hair down between his hands, enchanted by the frame of her face, the curve of her mouth, and the wonder in her eyes as she looked at him. Only him. Saw him.
"Murtagh, are you sure?" she asked. "I meant what I said on the beach. I will wait for you. If you are not ready —"
"I would do whatever it was you wished of me," he repeated.
Heavens, she was so close now. The very air he breathed mingled with hers. The space between them felt alive with potential. With want. And Hal's demeanor shifted, her breathing ragged with anticipation as she said, "All right, then. Kiss me."
Her command was barely a whisper, but her gaze was steady, eager, hopeful, shy, sweet. So much life brimmed in her beautiful eyes, and Murtagh took a slow breath as his eyes drifted from hers to her lips. Embarrassed and nervous, he quickly closed the distance between them, kissing her tight and square on the mouth, pulling away before he could do something she was uncomfortable with. Yet he stumbled into her at the slightest taste of her, his body desperately seeking more. To run his fingers through her hair, his lips down her neck. To feel her pressed against him. He wanted to overwhelm his senses with nothing but her.
He briefly pulled back, stunned that he could feel so much at the barest of touches. To suddenly be so aware of how much of Hal there was to touch and explore. He licked his lips, which buzzed. Could lips buzz? They certainly seemed to have more feeling and nerves than he thought possible. But he took one look at Hal and knew that she had felt it too, and he saw how her eyes had narrowed in on his lips, and he could see the want in them. Another taste. And who was he to deny her? Deny himself?
She lunged towards him as he closed the distance between them again, their lips crashing together as her arms went around his neck, pulling him in closer. He burned for her in the worst way, his hands so desperately wanting to keep her close but also wanting to explore the curves of her body.
He deepened the kiss, Hal's breathless sighs making him shudder in delight. He dropped his hands from her face, eager to let them roam and explore the figure that he had admired for months. He cupped her neck, feeling her pulse run rapid under his fingers. Her arms were toned from all of her sword fighting and archery, strong and capable. Her waist was a delight, his hands falling into the dips of her sides before caressing the curves of her hips. Feeling bold, his hands slid between the bench and her backside. When he gripped her, she moaned into his mouth, not even breaking this kiss as he pulled her into his lap, needing her closer. And when he pressed their hips together, his arousal pressing against her, she gasped just like she had that night before the wedding. He felt a shudder run through him at the contact, making his knees quiver and his stomach tighten.
He was going to lose his mind at this rate. He couldn't fathom how she could put him in such a state of delirium. He could feel her trail kisses on his neck and jaw, whispering his name, her lips brushing against his ear. He turned his head and captured her lips once more, his tongue seeking and finding hers.
He wanted to take her right then and there. Wanted the satisfaction of having some part of himself between her legs. Wanted to run his hands, his lips, his tongue across her skin just to hear her say his name again. He knew he wouldn't. But the fantasies wouldn't leave him, spurring him on as he pulled her even tighter into his lap. He wanted to feel her skin against his as he held her, the heat of her body against his. Wanted to feel her hands run across his chest. He wanted to kiss her until they were both dizzy because they had forgotten to come up for air, so lost in each other they were. He wanted Hal. All of her. Whatever she was willing to give him, he would take.
"Halen," he breathed, her name now holding new weight and meaning to him. It was as if she sensed it because she shivered at the sound. She pulled away slightly, her hand cupping the back of his neck as she peered up at him, her eyes shining, questioning, wanting. But he didn't want to put too much thought into right now. He didn't want to worry about what this meant for their friendship or what others would think if they found out. All he could focus on were those adoring brown eyes, waiting for him to decide what to do next.
Murtagh's eyes moved down to her lips, recalling all those missed opportunities before to taste them. Time, squandered. But he had right now. And with Hal, he didn't want to waste a single second. Didn't want to ruin the moment by saying the wrong thing. There was nothing to say. There were no words needed when silence was the only thing he wanted to hear. Silence, along with their breathing. Hal's light gasps of lust that made him shiver with desire for her. All he wanted was her. And for the first time perhaps in his entire life, he was getting exactly what he wanted.
Slower, waiting for the approval in her eyes to assure him that this was okay, Murtagh leaned towards her and kissed her again. With his eyes closed, he was forced to commit this moment to memory by touch and taste alone. Her lips, soft and warm and full as they moved against his, her tongue wet and tasting like the fruit of the wine they had during dinner. His hand brushed against her breast as he went to cup her cheek and he felt her arch into the touch. And he wanted to give her whatever she asked. In that moment, he would have given her whatever she asked.
And when he pulled away again to catch his breath, he saw how she looked at him. And he knew then that all she wanted was him. And something in him blossomed at that knowledge that he did not have to ask or doubt. He just knew that he was enough. And for him, that was more than enough. And he knew then that he would give her as much of himself to her as she was willing to take for as long as she would have him.
…
Hal had never really seduced anyone before. She had never had any desire to. And she was giddy and devastated that she had let her emotions get the best of her yesterday that she had done it to Murtagh. She had just been so taken in by the mood of the evening and the joy in his face and she had been completely lost to him. She was supposed to support him, until they were both ready. But she knew, had hoped, of what might happen when she stepped over the threshold to his room. And now she feared running into him.
She rolled onto her back, her fingers pressed to her once swollen lips. She had wanted that for so long. And even still, last night had not felt like enough. It had barely felt real. She wanted to feel him everywhere. Wanted to be completely and utterly consumed by him until she knew nothing else but his touch, his kiss, his lips on her lips and skin.
Hal swallowed nervously at the thought. Her emotions still frightened her in a way. How needy she felt. How badly she wanted him. All of him. She had thought of nothing but when they finally separated, breathing heavily, his face delightfully flushed, eyes shining in the dim lighting as he needlessly walked her back to her room, his hand in hers, before he leaned in for one final, tender, goodbye kiss that was almost more dizzying in its controlled gentility. And Hal had not been able to help herself, climbing into bed and slipping her hand under her nightgown, finishing what he had started. Picturing his flushed face between her legs had been more than enough to make her bury her face in her pillow.
And yet it still didn't feel like enough. But it had calmed her for the time being.
But now, as she sat up in bed, still feeling a bit of a tingle between her legs from where she had touched herself, Hal felt reckless and selfish. Although it pained her to remember, Celia had told her to explore, to take it slow. And while they hadn't done anything dishonorable, did the fact that Hal still wanted to count?
Unexpectedly at the thought, tears filled her eyes in remembrance. Then in shame. The one person she had been able to confide in with these feelings was dead. And Hal was stressing over a kiss? She was moving forward with her life while others had theirs cut short because her presence had spelled doom for their village. And yet, in a twisted way, Hal knew that kiss would have never happened had they not endured what they had. Something in her had snapped yesterday. A realization and reminder that tomorrow was not guaranteed. And she had spent the entire night in Murtagh's arms, wanting more, and wanting nothing less. The feel of him, the smell of him, the sight of him smiling all the way to his eyes as he played with the children. She would have been mad to deny how strong her feelings for him had been these last few weeks, let alone last night.
Hal wiped her cheeks before her mood took a complete nose dive, then slapped them three times in quick succession. She knew the fight wasn't over. She needed to stop acting like it was.
She washed her face and put her hair up. She needed to focus. She grabbed Murtagh's sword, silently vowing to never go anywhere without it. She crept quietly out of her room, not wanting to wake anyone as it was still very early in the morning. She had not discussed the continuation of her training with the elves, but if they were not prepared, Hal would practice on her own in the meantime.
When she opened the front door, Murtagh was already standing there, arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the wall, his dark hair falling into his eyes. He looked as though he had been waiting a while, Zar'roc strapped to his hip. Hal eyed the fitted, long-sleeve tunic and jerkin he wore over it. He was carefully armed. Hal looked away, her face hot, as he stood up straight. Heavens, it was harder to ignore how handsome he was when he looked at her like that. His lips were still flushed pink and faintly swollen from all their kissing.
Kissing. What a lovely word.
"I didn't know if you were still planning on getting some practice in," he said gruffly, his voice still hazy with sleep. Hal shivered at the sound. Having to face him now, she felt even more embarrassed at the fact that she had used him in her fantasies last night. What would he think if he knew?
"I wasn't sure either," she said, talking to the ground. "But I figured if Invidia and Blödhgarm were not prepared, then I would practice a bit on my own."
There was a heavy silence and Hal panicked, thinking he might misunderstand her. "I don't mean I don't want you to come," she amended quickly, looking up so that he could see her sincerity. But his gaze took hold of her, and she quickly looked away again. "I didn't realize you were already awake. I figured I would let you rest after we…"
She cut herself off before she finished that sentence. Her face burned so hot she couldn't stand it. She had felt so in control yesterday, and now she was a bumbling fool. How he managed to unhinge her composure was baffling. And it was this Hal she had been so afraid of before.
"I'm so flustered," she admitted, not wanting him to think she regretted any of what happened. "I've never done anything like that before and now I don't even know how to look at you properly without thinking about it."
He moved so that he was standing closer to her. In a low tone, he asked, "Thinking about what?"
She finally looked up, if only to glare at him. "You know what, rider."
He grinned. Yes, he did know what. "I still want to hear you say it."
Her body quivered in delight. She knew he was just teasing her, making her say 'kiss.' But that wouldn't be the complete truth. She wasn't just thinking about it and equating it to the kiss. It was how his lips felt on hers, soft like flower petals, quietly commanding without being forceful. His tongue so suggestive between her lips that she had imagined how it would feel between her legs. It was how his hands were teasing and cruel, the way they gripped her and stroked her only through the top of her clothes and never her skin directly. His hips, pressing between her legs. It was the feel of his arousal, knowing how badly he wanted her. It was how all-consuming he was to her now, how much it scared her, and how badly she wanted him anyway.
And she ached for him in places that would make him blush if he knew. Places she didn't know could ache without causing pain, but pleasure.
"Hal," he whispered, his lips by her ear. She shivered at the sound. He was waiting.
She turned her head to meet his gaze. "Without thinking about how good you made me feel. And wondering when I will get to have you again."
The growl that erupted from the back of his throat was far from polite. "Do not say such things when I'm trying to be a gentleman. Otherwise I may take you right here and now."
She felt a fire between her legs at the thought as her eyes fluttered close in desire. "I do not think I would mind being taken by you right here. Or anywhere else for that matter."
He kissed her without hesitation, his tongue making a fool out of her once again. The kiss was hard and deep, but it was over quickly to her dismay. However, his hands still held on to the back of her head as they struggled to catch their breath.
"I was afraid that you may have come to regret it," he admitted, his voice shy and soft.
She shook her head. "I just wish I'd had the courage to do it sooner. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for it."
Murtagh kissed her again, sweetly, his sentiments mirroring hers. "Let's practice on our own today. I don't feel like sharing you right now."
Hal had not sparred with Murtagh since the elves took over her training. She was surprised by how nervous she felt as they circled one another in their usual spot in the woods. She watched his every move, but now she didn't know if it was because she was watching for his attack or simply watching him.
She breathed. She needed to focus.
Murtagh ran towards her, plunging Zar'roc towards her right hip. She deflected and he quickly spun on his heel, using the momentum of his own attack to go for her left. Hal dropped to her knees, avoiding the blow altogether, knowing it would be faster to dodge it than trying to bring her sword all the way around her body's other side.
Even though it had only been a few weeks, Hal could see where her training with Invidia was paying off. As strong as Murtagh was, Invidia was still an elf and much stronger. Her blows had forced Hal to really exert herself when it came to blocking. By comparison, while Murtagh's blows were still a force to be reckoned with, they felt much more manageable than they had before. Hal felt much more confident in her abilities to deflect his attacks.
Where Murtagh attacked with strength, Hal attacked with speed. Their swords clashed loudly, an explosion of sound that seemed to shatter the silence of the forest around them. Although Murtagh had years of practice, it helped that he and Hal had not sparred in so long. While she had been learning so many new maneuvers and steps from Invidia that she had lost count of the number of combinations, she could still recall many of Murtagh's. However, just because some of his moves were more predictable than others, didn't make him any less challenging of an opponent.
Their footwork was sharp, their blows quick. Back and forth, back and forth, they danced around each other like it was a game. Murtagh was grinning at the challenge, pride and arousal dancing in his eyes. Hal was so caught off guard by the expression that she nearly stumbled and lost her footing. Murtagh took advantage of her slipup, thrusting his blade towards her. However, Hal used her own momentum to turn her fall into an angled kick, hitting him in the chest and forcing him back, giving herself time to regain her composure.
But only slightly. He seemed even more impressed with her ability to improvise, and lunged for her again, his sword held high. He rained down blow after blow, and Hal met his sword each and every time, not unaware of the fact that he was using his strength to lead her towards the water. But his attacks came too quickly for her to move in any other direction but backwards.
Thinking quickly, she thought less of what she could do with her sword, and more of how she could use her body. Waiting for the right opening. As his arm prepared to come down, leading another strike, Hal tossed her blade from her right hand to her left. Murtagh's eyes went wide with surprise and delight, and Hal had to struggle not to grin at how much he was actually enjoying fighting her. She blocked the blow with her left, which still wasn't up to par with her right, but capable nonetheless in surprise attacks like this. She wrapped her right arm around Murtagh's arm, holding it tightly in place as she swung her legs up, wrapping them around his torso and neck. She twisted her body, using his own weight and momentum from the swing against him as she flipped him off his feet and onto his back.
Unfortunately, he was well trained enough to continue holding on tightly to his sword, but he was still somewhat stunned as the air left his lungs. Hal had just enough seconds to roll away from him, stumbling a bit as she got to her feet, but able to put some distance between her and Murtagh, moving so that she was no longer at risk of the drop to the water below.
He began to laugh as he climbed to his feet, tossing Zar'roc back and forth between his hands. "You're really enjoying this aren't you?" Hal breathed, grinning from ear to ear.
"Immensely."
Hal attacked first this time, and on they continued. Sweat poured down their sides, dripping into their eyes. Their clothes clung to them like a second skin. But Hal began to tire, her arms shaking from exertion, her grip becoming weaker. Even when she was able to switch hands, trying to give her right hand a break, it wasn't enough. Her fights with Invidia often didn't last this long because the stamina of an elf was hardly comparable. Hal was exhausted, but she wasn't ready to give in yet.
However, she never anticipated Murtagh getting a second wind, using it to take advantage of how she had weakened. His strikes became more forceful, his eyes sharp as he lunged for her head and then, when she blocked it, ducked down and swung for her legs. Hal swung her sword down, narrowly avoiding hitting him, but managing to deflect his attack once more, gritting her teeth as she held off against him, her sword and arm at an awkward angle.
And that's where he had her.
Not anticipating he would have enough momentum to carry him again, once she blocked his attacked, he swung back, turning sharply on his heel as he raised his weapon. Hal only had a moment to register what he had done, and it didn't give her any time to raise her sword. He froze, inches from her neck, demonstrating just how much control and precision went into every attack. Hal was panting, her body shaking as she let the sword fall from her hands in defeat.
Murtagh had won again. But at least, this time, she was still standing.
Murtagh was red in the face, but, Hal noticed, his hand was still steady. In that moment, she began to realize how much further she still had to go before she would best him in a sparring session. Her heart was racing in her chest and she struggled to remain standing. She had lost, but she had lost on her feet. She did not want to collapse to her knees, not even with Murtagh.
Lowering Zar'roc to his side, Murtagh stepped back still grinning at Hal from ear to ear. Unable to speak while she tried to catch her breath, Hal began to walk like Invidia would normally instruct her to, so that she was less tempted to collapse and she could move her muscles about. She put her hands on her hips, but hardly took one step when Murtagh grabbed her arm and swung her body into his. His hand clasped on to the back of her neck. His nose nuzzled hers, his lips breadths away from hers. His hand moved to cup her cheek, but he didn't kiss her.
Hal had to look away, the fear of losing herself in him returning, even stronger than before. Hating herself for knowing she was about to ruin the mood, she asked, "What are we doing, rider?"
To her surprise, he didn't recoil or seem put out by her question. He shook his head. "I don't know. I honestly don't know. All I know is that, aside from Thorn, you are the most important thing in my life. And after what happened to Berjis' village, I'm tired of keeping you at arm's length." As if to emphasis his point, his arm snaked around her waist, pulling her tighter into him. Hal struggled not to smile, failing miserably. He grinned.
Unable to resist, she leaned up and kissed him. Sweet and slow. When she felt that he wanted more, she pulled away, giving him a knowing look. "We should…I don't know. At least talk about this or something."
He raised a single brow, his expression amused. But he nodded. "What do you want to talk about?"
She flushed, not quite having expected him to throw it back to her so quickly. "Well," she said slowly, feeling rather embarrassed again, "you realize we can't actually…consummate anything, right?"
He sighed with feigned frustration. "Dammit, there go my dinner plans."
She moved to elbow him in the stomach and he jumped back to avoid her blow, laughing. She was completely smitten with that smile of his, and could only muster up enough irritation to playfully roll her eyes as he took her in his arms once more. Besides, it's not like she hadn't thought about it. But it wasn't a risk she was willing to take. Not yet anyway.
"I'm sorry, I'll be serious now," he said, kissing her forehead.
As much as she wanted to stay in his embrace, she was getting flustered, this time actually from the heat. She took his hand and walked so that they could sit by the water and cool off properly. She cupped her hands and took a few sips of water from the spring before splashing her face and the back of her neck. Murtagh did the same, and only when they had both sat back, their breathing finally even and smooth, did Hal speak honestly and openly.
"I admit that, after the wedding, I didn't understand my feelings towards you," she began slowly. Murtagh listened intently, facing her, his hands on his legs. "You are, without a doubt, the closest I've ever gotten to anyone in my entire life. You know things about me that I expected to take to my grave. I cherish you as a friend, first and foremost. Always. But at the wedding…" She shook her head, knowing better. "No, even before the wedding, it was like your friendship suddenly didn't feel like enough. And I felt anxious and selfish and confused and for a moment, at the end of the wedding, I realized how much those feelings frightened me. And I think I partially feared that my feelings were stronger than yours, or that I was misunderstanding your compassion and that you would reject me. And I didn't want to risk losing you. And I thought, if I avoided you, maybe the feelings would go away."
She could tell Murtagh was uncomfortable at the thought. Her expression softened as she leaned over and took his hand in hers, gripping it tightly. When she leaned back, his fingers lingered for just a moment before letting her go.
"You must understand," she continued, "I've never really felt like this for anyone before you. After I came here, it was still hard to get close to people. And even when I did, I still kept them at arms-length for my own peace of mind. Until you, that is." She smiled sadly. "I regret avoiding you afterwards. I'm not used to feeling so…attached, to another person like this. I'm still not. And I'm still feeling very confused, lusting after my friend. So to speak." She blushed. "But those are my feelings."
Murtagh took a deep breath, his face seeming more relaxed. "I feel I must take some of the blame for your reaction. In hindsight, I realized that I came on too strong. Touching you the way I did. I admit that my feelings for you hit me rather unexpectedly and I didn't know how to properly handle them either. I'm sorry. I never intended to make you feel uncomfortable or doubtful of our friendship. It's just as important to me as it is to you."
Hal breathed a sigh of relief.
"But I must confess, Hal, that I cannot help but look at you like the woman you are and wonder what it would be like to bed you," Murtagh continued, his eyes boring into hers as he spoke. Hal felt her body react in a manner that made her face burn hot, and she swallowed nervously as she tried to keep her fantasies from last night out of her head and failing. Miserably.
"Of course, I don't say that to mean I'm just going to have my way with you," he added quickly. She wished they had not sparred beforehand. The sight of his cheeks — crimson from nerves rather than exercise — as he stumbled over his words would have been dazzling to behold. "I will do right by you, Hal. Please know that. When all is said and done, if you'd rather we still wait, I will wait. If you want me to forget this ever happened and never speak of it again —"
"No!" she said quickly, hating herself for how desperate she sounded at the thought. But she could not simply forget his kisses. His hands on her back, his hips pressing into hers. No. She did not want to simply forget it ever happened and never speak of it again. "No," she repeated, her voice calmer.
She could see the tension leave his shoulders as he slowly crept closer, emboldened, hopeful, at her response. "Then tell me what you want, Hal. Tell me, and I will do exactly as you say."
The command made her blush, as she was not prepared for him to let her decide the fate of their relationship. It felt selfish to say she wanted him, even though it was the obvious truth. It felt greedy to want the physical pleasure of him despite the fact that they weren't married. But then, this was the only logical solution. Right?
"I just want you," she breathed, unable to fathom actually saying it aloud. And yet there it was. She felt better for it and slightly embarrassed. "Typical friendship with you will not be enough for me anymore. I want your kisses and your touch. I want to feel overwhelmed by you in every possible way imaginable."
He obviously hadn't been expecting that, and let out a low sound from the back of his throat that made her shiver with delight. She smiled, not thinking her words would evoke such a reaction. "And what do you want?" she asked him carefully.
"What do I want?" She nodded, biting her lip as he took her face in his hands. He made sure her eyes were on his, and Hal was holding her breath as he said, "I want to overwhelm you in every possible way imaginable."
The sound that escaped her was the furthest thing from polite Hal had ever uttered. Which was truly saying something, if she were being honest. Murtagh crashed his lips onto hers, guiding her until she was lying on her back. Hal parted her legs so that he may fit his body between them, pressing his hips against hers. Her eyes fluttered as his length pressed against her and another whine escaped her. Heavens help her, she was getting her wish faster than she anticipated. Her blood was roaring in her ears as her mind tried to process what her body was feeling. And she felt it all, his fingers as they reached under the bottom of her top, his hands spreading across the span of her back as he pulled her tighter into his chest. His hands alone could be her very undoing, so suggestive, gentle, and strong. She wrapped her arms around his neck for balance.
He deepened the kiss, their lips battling for control. The ache between her legs began to grow worse as he ran his tongue over her bottom lip before taking it between his teeth, teasing her with the gentlest of nibbles before kissing her again. His tongue found hers, stroking it playfully before pulling back, providing only the barest of touches until she sought him out, desperate for more. She began to whine against his mouth, her center beginning to throb painfully for attention. She imagined what it would feel like if he touched her. How she would sink into him. How his fingers would feel between her legs.
She could feel herself becoming more aggressive, desperate for more. She craved the touch of his lips on her skin, not just on her lips. She angled her head just slightly, hating to break the kiss but melting with delight when he took the hint and kissed the length of her neck and shoulders. Her hands gripped his upper arms for support, squeezing his biceps and imagining how the muscles must be flexing, tightening under the sleeves of his tunic.
But his pace began to slow as he bit and sucked on the top of her chest, evoking breathy sighs from Hal. And he raised his head, kissing her once more, deep and deliriously until he finally pulled away, panting, resting his forehead against hers.
"We should stop," he said with a groan that indicated he wanted to do anything but.
He let Hal roll him over as she kissed him once more for good measure. "Why? Do I tempt you, Shur'tugal?"
The noise he made was so utterly delightful and lascivious that Hal vowed to use the Ancient Language against him more often.
"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that," she teased with a straight face.
He glared at her and she grinned as he sat up, making sure she continued to straddle his waist. Hal wrapped her arms around his neck as he pulled her in close. "Is it silly," he asked in a low voice, "to admit how happy you make me?"
She shook her head, beaming at the thought. "No. No, it's not."
He smiled, taking her face in his hands. "Halen. You make me unbelievably happy."
She kissed him hard, torn between needing him and wanting him. She kissed him until she forgot her practice, forgot her chores, forgot her worries, and forgot her fears. She kissed him until there was nothing else occupying her thoughts except the taste and feel of him alone.