Ch. 3 – A chat with the librarian

His mind made up, Harry got himself ready. He went to his cupboard and picked up Matilda, as well as a notebook and some pencils. He would need to be thorough to make this work. He needed to know what he could do.

If past experience held true, the Dursleys wouldn't be back until 8pm. Since it was just about 10 in the morning, that gave him about 10 hours to get to the library, do the research and get back. He had to be careful to be back in time, or his secret would be out. If Vernon figured out that locks wouldn't hold him in his cupboard, what would Vernon do? Harry didn't want to find out.

Gathering his supplies, he grabbed his now empty school backpack and filled it with some left-over bread and whatever he could tell Petunia wouldn't notice was missing from the cupboards.

He headed to the library at a slight jog. It would be pretty disastrous to be caught outside by Dudley's gang when he's supposed to be locked in his cupboard. He knew he would be safe in the library once he got there, as none of Dudley's friends were the type of boys to enjoy books…

Reaching the library in just under 15 minutes, Harry found his corner and settled down. Setting down his backpack, Harry took out his favorite book, and headed to the librarian's desk. The lady sitting there was the same one he remembered from a week ago. She was young for an adult, he thought. She had a pleasant face, and colorfully rimmed glasses. Ms. Atwell, if he remembered correctly.

"Good morning, Ms. Atwell" said Harry.

"Good morning, young man" she replied as she looked up from the stack of books she was sorting. "It's Harry, is it not?" she asked.

"Yes, ma'am. Thank you for remembering." He answered shyly.

"No thanks needed young man. I remember those who find a new passion for books. It always makes me happy to see people enjoy their reading, especially young people such as yourself, and it certainly looked like you enjoyed your reading when you were last here." She said enthusiastically. "Did you finish the book you were reading?"

"Yes, ma'am, I did." He replied. "I'm actually back today because I wanted to know if there were any more stories about this girl…"

Quirking her eyebrow in interest, she asked "And what girl has captivated you so, Harry?"

"Well, Matilda of course!" he said as he lifted the book he was returning and showed her the cover.

"Of course… Did you enjoy the story?"

"Yes, very much! Do you know if there are any more stories about her?" he asked excitedly.

"I'm sorry Harry, but as far as I know, there aren't."

"Oh." He sighed, his excitement turning to disappointment. "That's too bad, I really wanted to know what she would do next." He said, slightly dejected.

"I know the feeling Harry. Some of my favorite stories don't necessarily end with a clear end… And indeed, some of my all-time favorite stories don't end well at all."

Puzzled, he asked "don't all storybooks have happy endings?"

Smiling kindly, she looked at Harry's eyes and said "storybooks and stories reflect our lives Harry. Some stories start happily and end sadly, while others begin sadly and end happily. Life is not simple, and is very often unpredictable, and the stories we tell about life are equally so."

Harry looked at her questioningly, and asked "Matilda had a happy ending. Why can't all of us?"

Ms. Atwell sighed, pausing for a moment as she thought of a good way to answer the young boy's question. "When people do their best to help themselves and others, the chance for the story to end well definitely increases… Like Matilda, who tried very hard to help herself learn, and become the best she could be. And because she did that, she was able to help her friends, her family, Ms. Honey and the school as a whole achieve a happy ending." Looking at Harry directly again, she said "Matilda is a hero, and we can each be a hero if we really want to be. Be the best we can be every day, and every day, try to be a little bit better than the day before. After all, Matilda didn't read all the books she read in one day, right?"

"She didn't master her abilities in one day, either" said Harry, thinking about his own discovery earlier that morning.

"That's right! She had to discover them and work hard at mastering them before she was able to do anything for herself or anyone else." Said the librarian. "Discovering our gifts, and working hard to use them well is something that many people strive to do… Even me! I may not have amazing powers like Matilda, but I am proud of what I am. I am a librarian, and I work hard to help people like you find what they need. If I do this well, it could even be heroic. But many people don't try to be their best. Or if they do, they decide to use their gifts only for themselves, or to harm others. At the end of the day Harry, sad endings may just happen because people don't try hard enough to make them better."

"Well, I'm definitely not letting my life end the way it started" said Harry vehemently. "I will make my life better, like Matilda did."

Ms. Atwell looked at Harry for a moment as he made his declaration. 'What did he mean by that?' she thought to herself. 'Granted, he is wearing hand me downs, and he is on the skinnier side, but surely no one in this neighborhood would mistreat a child this young, or this good?'

"Harry, are things at home alright?" she asked, the worry showing plainly in her kind brown eyes.

Realizing he said too much, Harry tried to not let the panic show in his face. Though he knew the Dursleys lied to him often, he had also heard of the horrors suffered by children in orphanages from other sources. He knew that if he admitted that things were not well at the Dursleys, there was a chance that he would end up in one of those places.

"Oh no, Ms. Atwell, everything is fine" answered Harry with a straight face "I just meant I want to make things even better as I grow up". A decade of life with the Dursleys taught him very well how to hide his emotions and inner turmoil. Overt displays of distress were punished with even more distress.

Mollified, Ms. Atwell looked at Harry and smiled. "I'm glad that there are boys like you in the world, Harry. If the future is to ever have a happy ending for us all, we will need as many boys and girls to be heroes as we can find."

"I will do my best Ms. Atwell" said Harry earnestly.

"I'm sure you will Harry. Now was there something you wanted to ask?"

"Actually, yes. Would you be able to help me find some of the books Matilda has read? I would like to learn what she learned."

"Well, I can certainly do that. Which ones did you want to start with?"

"Umm, I think I'd like to try the story about the Lion? And also the one about the farm?"

"I believe you may be referring to "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe", as well as "Animal Farm", is that right?"

"Yes, those are the right names, I think…"

"Well, I can certainly get those for you if you'd like. Will you be holding on to "Matilda" a while longer? I believe you have another week before you have to return it."

"Well, I wanted to know if there was any way I could keep the book?" asked Harry hopefully. "I really liked it, and I would definitely want to read it again a few more times"

"Well, you could buy it, if your parents give you an allowance." Suggested Ms. Atwell.

"Oh, I live with my aunt and uncle, and they wouldn't let me spend money on books… Um, b-because we have so many at home" stammered Harry, partly bluffing.

"Well, we do have an exchange program, where you can donate old books to our library, and in return you can have one of ours, as long as we have extra copies of the book you keep."

"Oh, that sounds great!" said Harry. He knew that there were in fact some books Petunia used to try to read to Dudley when he was smaller, before she realized that Dudley didn't care and stopped getting them. He might be able to "donate" some of those. After all he knew that the library would get better use of it than Dudley ever would.

"I'll check with my aunt and uncle and see what books they'd be willing to donate" he said.

"That's marvelous dear! Well, let me finish sorting this stack here, and I'll go look for the books you wanted. Shall I hold them here for you?"

"Yes, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am" replied Harry gratefully. "I'll be over in the corner over there" said Harry, pointing at the seat with his backpack on it.

"Isn't the school year over Harry? Why do you have your school bag with you?" asked the librarian gently.

"Oh, well, I'm trying to discover my gifts… Just like you said. I want to know what I'm good at so I can become even better."

"That is absolutely grand, Harry." She said, smiling at him fondly "I wish you the best of luck, and let me know if there is anything I can do to help."

"Thank you, ma'am. I really appreciate it."

Harry's mind and heart were feeling positively buoyant. Whether she knew it or not, Ms. Atwell had given him hope. Hope that he himself could make his life better. If Matilda could do it, then so could he. It won't be easy. His life was certainly no story book. But he will not allow there to be a sad ending.

He had a goal. He had a talent.

Now it was time to do the work.