Ruby slumped against the doorframe, her energy gone, and her mind a tangle of half-ideas that couldn't quite seem to fit in the last train of the day. Her eyes were wide open, and her shoulders were square, but she knew that her eyes looked like they belonged to the sole survivor of an Apathy horde.

She was looking forward to having her assistant back. Not having one was a death wish when it came to matters of the classroom. Until just this past week or two though, Ruby hadn't realised just how much of her workload Cinder had taken on over the course of the school year. It felt like every day Cinder had been benched due to the investigation, she'd been teaching twice as many students in two-thirds the time. She knew she'd handled it all before, but after a day like today she wasn't quite sure how.

Finally, after mustering the energy to twist the knob, Ruby was greeted by the strangely homey smell of sweaty boots, some kind of air freshener that wasn't doing a great job, dog, and whatever had died in the doorframe, all mingling into a cacophony of scents that should have been nose-crinkling. Instead, she felt the stress of the day melt away like the flurries of snow that fluttered onto her head from the grey skies.

I love the smell of Wednesday night.

As she stepped through the door, Ruby was met with not just them smells of the house, but its subtle sounds. The hum of appliances through the walls was overshadowed by a chorus of welcomes from a variety of voices deeper in.

"Welcome home!"

"Hey mom!"

"Arf!"

"Ruby!"

Even those gave way to the sound of not-quite-so-little-anymore feet slapping against hardwood flooring at a dead sprint.

"Mooooooom!" shouted Brennan as he rounded the staircase, pivoting at dangerous speeds around the banister.

Ruby's face split into a grin, and every inch of her wanted nothing more than to sweep Brennen up into her arms and hold him like the baby he hadn't been for years now, despite all of her fatigue. The only things stopping her were the empty thermos in one hand and the bag of various papers and supplies from her day in the other. Both of which found themselves haphazardly discarded before her son was halfway down the entry hall.

Upon impact Brennen said 'hello' in what Ruby considered the best way possible: trying his best to crush as much love into her as possible. "Heyyyyy, there's my big man!" she said as the heat of his body began to fill her cloak against the chilling cold from outside. Kicking the door closed behind her, Ruby returned the welcome hug with one of her own. "Did you have a good day, buddy?"

He hesitated for a second too long for the answer to be 'yes' before breaking the hug and giving a dismissive shrug. Ruby practically felt whiplash at his sharp change in mood, she narrowed her eyes in challenge at the early onset of 'don't wanna talk about it' that was developing her baby.

Kneeling down to his level, Ruby dug deep into her memories of how her dad had handled situations like this, and her own previous experiences as a parent. She put a hand on his shoulder, subconsciously willing as much support through that small physical connection as she could. She hadn't expected to go full mom-mode this soon after getting home, but that didn't mean her son didn't need her to. "Do you want me to ask? Or give you some space?" It wasn't a perfect system, asking like this. Ruby had learned that the hard way with Jade more times than she would have liked. But mistakes like bottling up the wrong things were part of growing up, and she had to trust Brennen to make those choices himself. Even if she wanted to shield him from any and all hurt in the world.

"Mm," he mumbled half-heartedly "Kalt was going to come today, but Dad said he got grounded."

The idea of Kalt being grounded at all was foreign to Ruby. Whitley wasn't exactly the disciplinarian his father had been, and Kalt just didn't act up very much in the first place. Blake would have more details than Brennen though, like how he managed to ground a kid who just needed a doorknob in order to go transcontinental.

"Well it can't have been all bad. You had a field trip today too, right? Where'd you go?"

His moping was cut short by a smile Ruby swore could turn the tides of a war. "We got to visit the Amity Coliseum. And they gave a prize to anyone who could answer seven questions right."

"Seven?" Ruby gasped dramatically. She'd taken both Brennen and Jade up the Amity III several times over the years. They'd been young, and she didn't exactly give a guided tour of the service hallways, but the two of them probably remembered more than she gave them credit for from those visits. "That sounds like more than Penny could answer. How many did you get?"

Reaching into his pocket, Brennen smiled as he presented a small metal pin of Amity's insignia still inside its clear plastic wrapper. The Twin Axes of Vale were highlighted in copper against the silver of the other three kingdom's symbolic weapons. "I got this year's early," he said with pride in his voice.

"Very cool," Ruby said with a quick nod of approval. "You got to meet Captain Hadal too I bet."

"Yeah. He has a really bushy beard. Nila got to be the class captain and sit in his big chair while we were in the command center. I was in the logis… log…" Brennen petered out as he struggled to find the word for his position on the crew.

Ruby felt his pain. Hard word or brain-fart, she'd had those days. "C'mon, while you figure it out let's go and say 'hi' to everybody." She ushered Brennen back towards the sounds of home life deeper into the house while he pondered the mystery word. Ruby didn't want to interrupt the story she had asked him to tell, but she also desperately wanted to fall over on the couch.

Not wanting to just leave him in the lurch though, she put into practice a tried and true teaching skill: open ended, leading questions. "You probably had a scroll or a screen, right? What was on it?"

"I had all these numbers that were.. Umm… how much of everything was in all the rooms. And a map with a bunch of names all moving around."

Ruby… didn't know the name for that job either. She knew what the job was, but the closest name she could think of right now was 'quartermaster,' and that wasn't really a command center position. Weiss would know the answer in her sleep, and Ruby knew right where to find her on a Wednesday night.

Rounding the corner into the formal dining space, Ruby and Brennen were greeted by a scene that was oh-so-familiar and oh-so-welcome.

"—seduce the Nevermore," Mercury said with confidence oozing from his every word.
Well at least the 'familiar' part.

Emerald, wearing some kind of long white robe that Ruby assumed was part of her character, sat behind a cardboard screen and rolled her eyes (and her dice) with a heavy sigh. "Merc, I swear on your dad's left testicle if you somehow manage another crit tonight, I'm going to start checking your dice."

"You know you want to hear me RP some hot Grimm-on-Bard action. Don't deny Hozpoz his feathery conquest!"

"As long as you don't expect me to visualize it as you go." Emerald vaguely gestured to a section of the table empty of anything Ruby could see. Judging from the experience though, she was using her semblance in that spot to give a bit more life to her Game Master-ing. "I'll admit I want to see where this harem strategy is leading."

"Weiss, how many spell slots do you have left?" Jaune was mostly ignoring the exchange between Em and Merc, but more importantly was now distracting Weiss just enough for Ruby to enact a plan.

Seizing the opportunity in front of her, Ruby motioned for Brennen to be quiet while she slid behind the two of them as quietly as she could. She took special note of the sweater Weiss was wearing in the otherwise warm home. A turtleneck Weiss meant Weiss wanted to hide something on her neck. Whether it was evidence of fun that had already been had, or a promise of fun planned for tonight wasn't wholly clear. Ruby felt a flood of love warmth towards Weiss either way.

Wasting no more time with trying to nail down the future, Ruby swiftly plopped her chin on top of Weiss' shoulder and wrapped her in a surprise hug. Cold hands worming their way below Weiss' sweater, over the straps and cords that criss-crossed the pristine white skin, and expertly targeting her vulnerable midriff.

"Ruby!" Weiss shrieked in surprise at the public invasion of personal space and shock of frigid digits making contact.

Cackling as the table turned to the two of them, Ruby did her best to look sorrowful and extracted her hands from the haven of warmth, settling them across Weiss' shoulders and feeling what had to be a harness beneath the thick fabric. Definitely a 'to-be' night of fun then; Ruby could feel metal hooks and buckles now that she knew what she was looking for. "But nerd bellies are the perfect temperature for reheating cold hands."

"Welcome home." Weiss turned to give Ruby a quick kiss hello, elevating her energy levels from 'nearly dead' to 'Salem is a bitch-ass motherfucker' in less than a second. "Emerald invited us all to her Circle this Saturday for Hallows, how's your schedule look?"

Ruby looked across at Emerald, connecting the dots between her outfit and the newly shared information from Weiss after just long enough to feel dumb for not realizing sooner. "Oh, Hallows! I'm sorry, Em, it always slips my mind that you celebrate. Is that why you're all?…" Ruby gestured at the robes, not wanting to reveal that she really didn't know much of anything about the holiday. It hadn't exactly been important to her until it became important to her friend.

"Mhm," Emerald nodded, thankfully saving Ruby from the embarrassment of not remembering what Hallows actually was. "I'm the Arch for my Circle this year. And… I know it's not really a thing for you all, so don't feel like you have to come. It's pretty much just going to be reciting scripture, and some songs."

"Guise Hagen also does an amazing job on the sermon every year," Mercury said casually as he fiddled with his dice, causing everyone but Emerald to stare at him in surprise. Looking up, he noticed the attention and shrugged. "What? Brindle liked it when we went to Circle together. Got a lot of good memories there with Em and her. I'm sure you've all ended up at weirder place for your kids." Mercury's question caused Ruby to glance at both Jade and Brennen, and brought up a slew of memories for each.

Yang and a much younger Jade returning home from their first mother-daughter weekend at a local campground smelling like wood fire and covered in bug bites.

Weiss staying up late to learn how to build a model ship they were giving to Brennen the next morning for his birthday.

The feeling of utterly-confused-parent-ness Ruby felt while escorting Brennen to a fan convention he'd been completely obsessed with for the last year.

Ruby couldn't help but agree with Mercury, their kids had led them to all sorts of unexpected places, but she couldn't just tell him he was right. Is she did he'd be insufferable to talk to for the next week. Luckily she had a downright artful dodge available to her. "Of course I'll be there, Em. Now if you'll excuse me, I need some food. Oscar's starting to look like a turkey leg—hey!"

"Sorry," Emerald said, not sorry at all. She didn't even try to hide the high-five with Jade afterwards.

Ever coming to the rescue, Weiss gave Ruby's hand a squeeze, drawing her attention. "We ordered out, but there's plenty of leftovers in the fridge."

Ruby was already up and in the kitchen before she really knew what was happening. "Did Yang get any of those spicy pancake things?" she asked absentmindedly as she rummaged through the various Tupperware. Some part of her knew that there was no one who could hear the question, but her tired mind didn't feel like fighting the comfortable habit right now.

Eventually settling on some kind of stuffed bun hidden beneath a sealed plastic bag of buttered noodles and behind some brand of fancy cheese she didn't recognize. A quick round in the toaster oven was all it needed before Ruby was on her way, dinner in-hand.

She considered rejoining Weiss, Jade, and Brennen and watching the wayward adventurers while she ate, but decided against it when she heard the sound of Emerald declaring 'roll initiative' around the corner. Playing the game was plenty fun, but observing combat without participating was too many numbers for her brain right now.

She passed by the formal dining space's entryway and continued on towards the living room. She had hoped to find Blake reading, or Yang watching something on the Interlink, but no such luck was had. Instead, as she rounded the couch, a familiar furball was there to greet her with a wagging tail.

"Hey there, Quinten," She said to the smallest, furriest member of her family. "D'anybody feed you yet?"

Noticing one of the true owners of the couch was now present, Quinten rose to a sitting position and made a play for a face-lick hello—or a bite of her dinner. He'd have to be quicker (and taller) to get one by Ruby Rose, though. She gave him a scratch behind the ears for trying before shooing him off the couch. "Alright fuzzbutt, Scooch! You've got food in your bowl, and I've got a hot date with this bun thing and some minor brain death."

"Mmm. Buns and brain death," Blake said from the (relative) shadowy hallway causing Ruby to halt her attempted collapse into the welcoming couch with a haphazardly placed knee. "Sounds like you've got your whole night filled to bursting, then."

Turning towards the sound of her wife's voice, Ruby wagged her eyebrows in mock seduction. "Care to help me add a few more?"

Blake stepped out from the 'shadows', wearing a baggy long-sleeve that she liked after a workout, a face that screamed 'cuddle me, I am Blake,' and a bemused smirk. "A few more what? Brain deaths?"

Reaching her arms out towards Blake, Ruby grasped the air like a baby asking to be picked up. "Nooo! I need my Blake buns."

"Between you and your sister…" Blake pretended to be annoyed as she walked towards the couch and Ruby. "I hope our grandchildren don't have to see a statue of butts in front of Beacon one day."

Wrapping her arm around Blake's waist, Ruby sent the two of them collapsing onto a heap and eliciting a pair of squeaks as they landed. "But Butts, Blake! But butts!" She giggled as Blake smiled back at her dumb joke.

"Well, you had better remember to workout that rubooty tonight. It's leg day and I don't count whatever Weiss has planned for you tonight as fitness." Now it was Ruby's turn to laugh, and plant a peck on the back of Blake's hand held in her own.

The two of them adjusted into a more comfortable position, Ruby snuggling into the small spoon so she would still be able to eat without getting crumbs everywhere. Blake flipped through the channels to find something to veg out to.

Somewhere between the prime time sitcoms and a marathon of Spruce Willis movies, the couch snuggles were interrupted by a three-way harmony of battle cries.

"Grimm Attack!" Yang shouted, giving Ruby just enough time to prepare for the impact before three bodies crushed Ruby and Blake deeper into the couch.

Ruby had a fleeting desire to feel annoyed, but the sight of Jade laughing along with her brother sent that desire to bed without any dinner just in time for Blake to disappear from behind Ruby and another impact to crush her even further into the pillowy cushions.

By the time she could breathe again Ruby found that the family pile (sans one Weiss) had already wriggled, rolled and crawled into a much more comfortable configuration. One that accounted for jabbing hip bones and all the normal discomforts that came with stacking bodies. Though she was still on the bottom, her pleas for mercy were tactfully rebutted by whoever was sitting directly on her stomach by way of adding as much extra weight as possible and a totally innocuous wiggle.

But Ruby would not be silenced so easily. She had a daring plan, one which was saved for just such emergencies and threatened to divide the world as to the ethics of its use. Armies had trembled at the mere mention of this plan. Kingdoms had gone to war because of it. Empires had fallen and cars turned around.

But it was a risk Ruby was willing to take in order to win.

Mustering her will, Ruby managed to free her face from the mass of hair that robbed her of clarity and let out one last desperate plea. "Weiss, help!" was all she managed before the attack began anew, and Ruby was smothered beneath the tides of war again.

And this ended the tale of Ruby Rose.

She was never heard from agai—

"Mooom. Stop narrating your death already." Jade interrupted flatly.

"Yeah, Rubes. It's a teensy bit hard to take your heroic end seriously when you're still changing the channels when you do it."

"Well excuse me for not wanting to die with a musical on. Besides, there's supposed to be a thing about the Tournament Brackets soon. I'm not missing that for anything."

"Not even if I said to meet me in the basement in twenty minutes?" Weiss countered from… somewhere Ruby couldn't see from her position.

"I'm totally missing it," Ruby said without hesitation. "Yang. Dearest big sis."

"Yes, oh sweet baby sister of mine?"

"Can you fulfil a dying Huntress's final wish and hang a sock on the door when you go out tonight?"

There was a bark of laughter, followed immediately by all the weight that had been crushing Ruby suddenly lifting away. "Thought you'd never ask." Ruby looked up to see Yang effortlessly holding Blake and both kids under her arms. "Go get 'er. I'm sure there's something we can fill a night with."
Not even bothering to pretend that she needed to sit up, Ruby exploded off the couch as fast as the layout of the house allowed and left a trail of petals that led directly into the master bathroom. In a literal whirlwind of activity, clothes were shed, towels procured, soaps checked, and nail clippers found.

Just before she turned the shower on, Ruby heard a three-way chant of "Ice! Cream! Ice! Cream!" from the living room that she Ruby could have sworn was harvested from unicorn poop and gummy bears, for how utterly, tooth-rottingly sweet the sound of it was.

Ruby added her own voice to it as best she could through the hiss of running water as she felt the warmth of love wash over her like the hot water she stood beneath.

A/N:

YEET

That is all.

Thanks as always to WhatOtherPlanet, MellowYelloww, and Shock Factor (with special thanks to the entire FFC, FriendofYggdrasil and Junior now too!)

Pls gib feedback.