I'm back with more, sorry for not updating in a while
I've been having issues with how to continue the next chapter of this fic
Levi sat quietly curled up in a ball wearing a blouse, gripping a pillow tightly as tears streamed down her cheeks. Grumbling and cursing under her breath trying to control the will to destroy everything in her sight to make herself feel better than he did in this very moment. She just hated everyone and everything right now.
She had a low tolerance for everything and everyone right now, she would happily kick someones ass if it made her feel better. She would shove a broom up Erwin's ass to prove how bossy he was. She would happily scream at the 105th trainee's if it meant they would shut the hell up and behave for once in their damn lives.
Her emotions were all over the place, most likely scaring and confusing a lot of people. One minute she wanted hugs, next minute she hated anyone touching her, the next she hated everything. She was just feeling so much as once and she was emotionally exhausted. She was aware she wasn't acting herself but she couldn't help it.
Her belly was slowly growing as the child inside of her started to develop. But the whole process was taking a toll on her, and she was only 3 months along. Meaning she had more of this shit to deal with. She didn't know how much more of this she could take, she just hoped she would mellow down soon before she killed someone.
She had a bucket nearby the bed in case she vomited as her morning sickness was also pretty bad. She looked like shit and she felt like it too, which didn't help matters at all. Her self esteem had pretty much dropped this past week because of her hormones, taking every comment someone said about her or towards her personally.
More than a few people had apologized for the smallest things, but didn't dare go against her. Though a few people got pissed off or tended to avoid her they knew better than to start something. Even though she was pregnant, Levi was still one of the most feared soldiers in the team. For many reasons of course.
"Fucking Hanji knocking me up. His stupid baby is making me feel like shit" she sobbed. She missed being able to relax and feel normal, instead of all these emotions and nausea. She had a hard time keeping food down, certain foods made her feel sick and she was always tired. She had no idea why she had to suffer for all of this simply to give birth to a baby.
She now had more respect for any woman who had given birth to a child before including her own mother. She had been a single mother living in the slums, young and tired. Giving birth to a child despite having very little herself and then bringing them up as best she could. Giving everything she had to make sure Levi made it.
She was always tired, her emotions were all over the place, she kept puking and she hated everything. She cried over stupid shit almost all the time and she was more irritable than usual. She hated feeling like this but she wouldn't be able to make it stop, she would be stuck like this on and off until the baby arrived.
It was then that the bedroom door opened and Hanji entered the bedroom to see Levi crying on the bed. Her eyes red and half undressed while death gripping a pillow. Despite still being around 3 months the hormones were now starting to hit her pretty hard. The first few months were pretty rough and he felt bad for her having to deal with all of this.
He was doing the best he could to support her, but he would be lying if he wasn't sometimes a little afraid. Given how unpredictable her emotions could be and how easily she could snap. "Hey Levi" he said gently his tone playful. He could see she was feeling shitty so he had come to cheer her up. She must have been tired of crying by now so he would try his best to make her smile.
Upon hearing him enter the room Levi decided to let rip not caring about if she hurt his feelings or not. She had thoughts on her mind and she was going to share them. So he was going to shut up and listen while she ranted for a while. It was the least he could do for her since he was barely ever around nowadays.
"I fucking hate you shitty glasses. You're always working and leaving me alone. You think I like having to deal with this baby on my own" she sobbed. While he was off doing god knows what, she had to stay inside and not do anything that may harm the baby. They were treating her as if she was something fragile, like she was made of glass.
She really hated the fact that Erwin was being so stern with her. She was pregnant not an invalid. She should be allowed some form of freedom instead of being forced to stay at the base all the time. It was easy for him to give orders and enjoy being the boss, but she was bored to death and fed up. Couldn't he just go a little easier on her for crying out loud, the fuzzy eyebrowed jerk.
She barely had any luxuries and was being forced to eat all sorts of weird food because of the baby. She wasn't allowed to over exert herself and she felt like she was going mad from the paperwork. God knows how Hanji was able to stand doing all that research without his brain turning to mush. It was so fucking frustrating to her.
Hanji chuckled, about this time Levi's hormones would be a bit all over because of the baby. But he took them in good stride and simply brushed it off knowing she didn't mean any of it. "I have work to do Levi, I can't just shrug it off. That would be lazy of me, wouldn't it?" he reminded her. They were soldiers as well as would be parents, he had to work on his research for the titans.
He hated neglecting her so much but now that Levi was unable to fight, he was doing her work too. The younger trainees lacked the experience they did so they weren't able to help as much. They were still greenhorns and though they had come a long way, they were still naive to a lot of things and needed to ease into their duties slowly.
Levi stiffened, part of her knew he was right and proud of him. Yet part of her was angry because she hated being cooped up like this, unable to do the things she wanted to. Sometimes it felt like he was mocking her with his freedom, as if he was laughing at her and taunting her with all the things she couldn't do anymore like she used to.
She then turned to him with watery eyes, pouting at him as if she was a small child. "You must hate me, right? That's why you don't want to spend time with me" she sniffled. Because she was growing bigger because of the baby he didn't find her attractive anymore. Because of her hormones, he was scared of her or didn't like her because she was so bossy and needy.
Hanji stiffened, though he was good at dealing with Levi when angry as it was usually just sulky. When Levi cried however, it was waterworks and drama that could often be exhausting. He loved her to pieces and he always would, but sometimes he feared for his life wondering just what she would be capable of in her current state.
"You jerk Hanji! I can't help it you idiot! It's your fault for knocking me up!" she sobbed. If he had been more careful they wouldn't be in this mess and she wouldn't be having his damn baby yet. She then burst into a fresh set of tears, he was now ignoring her because she was pregnant. Probably regretting what had happened and wanting to avoid her. Maybe he didn't even want to be a dad.
Hanji only watched silently with an awkward expression, internally confused and panicked. Though he had read about the changes pregnant women went through, it was much scarier experiencing it in real life. He didn't know what to say or what to do to calm her down. He was only relieved her angry side hadn't come out yet. He had a feeling that pregnant angry Levi would be the scariest thing he had ever seen.
"Levi… its ok. I don't hate you, Erwin just has me doing a lot of the work you can't instead" he replied gently. As to not put too much strain on the baby, he was asking Hanji to take over instead. Though it was hard work and he was often tired, he didn't mind doing it. He would rather not have Levi put too much strain on herself and do only what she was capable of doing.
This was his first child, his first time being a parent and he didn't want to mess it up. He wanted Levi to have a healthy and happy baby that they would raise together. But he couldn't help that in order for that to happen, he had to be a little strict with her, which meant she had to stay at the base and away from the battlefield.
Levi then went silent and stopped crying, still gripping the pillow. A heavy silence then echoed around the room, then a dark aura surrounded Levi that gave Hanji a bad feeling. She death gripped the pillow, nearly shaking with pure rage. Growling under her breath sending shivers down Hanji's spine. Damn Erwin and his self-righteous attitude bossing Hanji about.
He sat at a desk all day giving orders while she was stuck at the base bored off her face. It was good for him but she hated this, she was fucking miserable while he was enjoying himself. It was all fun and games for him but what about her? She had needs too, she got so lonely sometimes she felt like she was going crazy. Wasn't Hanji the father of her baby after all.
She wanted the baby to be able to meet the father while it was in the womb, to hear his voice and talk to it. Not for him to be miles away and in danger while she had to simply tell the baby about him. She knew what it was like to not have a father, it was a very lonely and strange feeling to miss out on having such a bond.
Hanji saw her tenseness and sensed a bad aura coming from her. He had a bad feeling that this was the side of Levi he never wanted to see when pregnant. He was at a loss of what to do right now. He swallowed nervously trying not to shit himself with the fear he was currently feeling "Um… Levi" he asked hesitantly. He couldn't remember the last time he had been this scared in his life.
Levi then flipped her head to look at him, her grey eyes gleaming with a murderous glare and a look that could scare even a titan. Gripping the pillow so hard the seams started to rip a little. Burning holes into Hanji who was close to shaking with fear. He somewhat regretted even coming to see her, if it meant he had to suffer the wrath of her hormonal moods.
"So, you're just going to kiss Erwin's ass? Do everything he says like a dog? What about me huh? Don't I matter anymore now that you knocked me up?!" Levi growled fiercely. Now that he had gotten what he wanted and there was a baby inside of her. He was just going to do his own thing and leave her alone to suffer with the symptoms of pregnancy.
Hanji backed up a little, he knew the Ackerman strength and what they were capable of. Given the chance she could use anything in this room right now as a weapon against him. "Levi, calm down" he said nervously. He knew she was feeling a lot of emotions right now, but taking it out on him wouldn't make it any better. He knew she was under a lot of stress right now but he didn't want to get hurt.
Levi continued glaring and slowly got off the bed, standing up in an intimidating manner. Glaring knives at him, not once looking away from him. Causing Hanji to start mentally screaming. "Hanji…." She said fiercely. She would make him pay for ignoring her for so long. She would get attention, even if she had to force him to spend time with her. He had some balls leaving her alone for so long.
She then began to loom towards Hanji silently, her eyes still sharp and gleaming. While Hanji backed up against the door, his body shaking and worrying about what was going to become of him. If he had known this sort of thing would happen because he impregnated Levi he would have been safer during their sexual intimacy.
Levi sat happily perched on Hanji's lap, cuddling up to him affectionately with a sweet smile on her face. Her arms wrapped around his neck fondly and nuzzling up to him as if she was a cat. She felt comfortable, more so than she had in a very long time. Being pregnant despite being so early on was not one of the most pleasant experiences of her life.
Hanji sat on the bed silently now relieved but still in shock, he had half expected Levi to kick his ass. This had not gone the way he expected it to after all, but then again nothing was normal anymore. He didn't dare touch her in case she got mad at him again, so he just let her do her own thing. He swore, this baby was going to be the end of him mentally. He was always on edge nowadays.
"Hanji…" Levi trailed off quietly. She could sense he was hesitating about being affectionate with her, which was understandable after how she had acted towards him earlier. She knew she hadn't been the easiest to deal with since she got pregnant. But she did appreciate all that he did for her, it took a weight off her shoulders.
"Yeah" Hanji replied wearily. He really hoped she had calmed down now. He had already been traumatized by seeing Levi that angry. He really didn't want to see that side of her again for a long time. Before he had broke down and cried again then clung to him like mad, he really thought she was about to beat the ever loving shit out of him.
Levi bowed her head and her eyes filled with sadness, despite the fact her body was changing because of the baby inside of her. She still really loved him regardless. She was glad to be having his baby, even though she was scared shitless of what the outcome of her being a parent would be. She had no idea of how this kid was going to turn out after all.
"You know I don't mean it right, all of the stuff I do and say. It's just… the baby" she replied nervously. Sometimes she got so scared that she would lose him while he was out in battle or that he would snap at her because he was done with it all. Saying he couldn't tolerate this anymore, leaving her to fend for herself alone and afraid.
Hanji softened and was stunned by the words that came out of her mouth. He had never heard Levi sound so scared before, not since she told him about being pregnant. He then smiled fondly and slowly raised his hands to wrap them around Levi. Instead of getting mad she softened into his embrace, leaning her face against his chest.
"Yeah, I have read this sort of things in books y'know" he replied fondly. But then again, no matter how much research he did, it would never truly prepare him for the real experience. It was something you had to experience for yourself, everyone had different stories for pregnancy. It was always different depending on the mother, no baby is the same.
Levi sighed heavily, she knew he was just trying to reassure her it sounded like he was making fun of her. This was scary for her after all, her family life had been anything but perfect. Her own mother had been a prostitute and gotten pregnant accidentally but chosen to keep her. She never knew who her father was or what kind of man he had been as she never met him.
Her mother had indeed been able to fight and look after herself, mainly using as self-defence to look after herself. Making people knew with whom they were fucking and she was more than just a pretty face. Though not being as cold blooded as her brother Kenny had been, using her abilities in moderation as she tried to live a peaceful life.
She raised Levi as best she could until her death, the left Levi to care for herself but not by choice. Kenny hadn't been the best parental figure but he did teach her how to fight. Her childhood had been shitty, her teenage years had been shitty and her young adult life had been shitty. Her whole life had been a mess and she had no right to raise a baby.
She knew nothing of being a good mother or how to be affectionate. What if the child grew to hate her, her brief happiness had existed with her mother and with her best friends Furlan and Isabel. After that, she had locked away her heart and thrown away the key, wanting to protect herself from anymore emotional pain.
Hanji then placed one of his hands on her head supportively, staring into an abyss. There was no right or wrong way to raise a child, you simply had to do the best you could. They were both headed into strange and mysterious territory and it was normal to be scared, but they would get through it together which was the most important thing.
"We'll be ok Levi, that much I do know" he said gently stroking her hair. They would be far from perfect parents in his opinion, but they would be loved and raised right. They would be protected and cared for, though it would be an anything but easy childhood. It would be damn near better than the ones the two of them had been through.
Levi softened as she listened quietly, somehow, he knew the right words to ease her soul. To make her fears go away, as if he had some form of magic. A small smile spreading across her face. A warmth growing in her chest, knowing that everything would be ok somehow. That even though it would be hard they would get through this.
"I've put on weight Y'know, soon I'll be huge" she teased. It wouldn't take her long to lose it though, given she would find ways to exercise despite having a baby and being a mother. Just because she would be a mother didn't mean she would be a pushover, hell because she would be a parent she would be even scarier than before.
She dared anyone to say something bad about her kid. They touch a hair on her kids head or even so much as look at them funny. They would rue the fucking day they even so much as tried to make her kid cry. Hell hath no fury, like a protective mother. She would like to see them try and fuck with her, they would deeply regret it.
"Curves are sexy" Hanji replied casually. Her boobs would get bigger too, he couldn't wait to see that either. As the baby grew inside of her, the body prepared milk to feed the baby. However, he would help support her and makes things as comfortable as he could. Though she would have a lot of difficulties during that time.
Levi smirked, could he get any cheesier. But all these words brought her a comfort she didn't know she needed. Making her mood much better than it had been before. "My moods may worsen, what happens if I attack you" she replied playfully. She doubted anyone would dare go against her during this time. Even if they did it wouldn't end well.
"I'd rather it be sexy attack then angry attack" Hanji replied. He was yet to see the horny side of pregnant Levi, but he was eager to see her whenever that did happen. Hell, he would love to take her right now he but didn't want to force her. He wanted her to be as comfortable as possible throughout this whole process no matter what.
Levi snorted, he was so full of it but it made her smile. He was putting up with all of this because he genuinely cared about her. That meant more than he knew. To know he was committed to staying beside her. She then rested on his chest affectionately, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. He was so soft and warm, making her feel safe and comforted. Making her forget all of her troubles.
She slowly closed her eyes, the warmth of his chest, the sound of his heart and the comfort of his embrace lingering in her mind. Soon she found herself falling into slumber peacefully. Dreaming peacefully on his lap while Hanji held her close to him, she didn't know what personal heaven felt like, but this was close enough for her.
Hanji blinked as he realized Levi was being quiet, that usually meant she was thinking or sulking. Making him wonder if she was still troubled which caused him some concern. "Levi?" he asked curiously. Was she feeling sick? Was something on her mind? Though he didn't mind her being quiet, he still liked to make conversation with her. He then felt her shoulders rise and fall softly, small breaths coming from her mouth.
He then realized she had fallen asleep on him, was he really that comfortable that she had passed out? He smiled fondly and tried not to laugh out of worry of waking her. "What am I going to do with you Levi?" he teased. Sometimes she really was like a child herself. But it only made him love her even more than before.