[TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains instances of depression and anxiety (maybe PTSD) with dark and scary themes.]
Chapter Three: The Mirror Complex
Theme Songs: Despair by Myuu, and Control (clean version) by Halsey
Elsa was excited. She couldn't wait to share a room with her little sister again just like when they were children. She couldn't wait to actually have a relationship with her little sister again. All this excitement was making it hard to get to sleep. Well, as long as I'm awake, I might as well do something useful, she thought to herself.
Getting out of bed and slipping on her slippers, she went over to her desk and lit the beeswax candle that was there with one of the matches that she kept in a small box in a drawer. Picking up a pair of spectacles, she carefully placed them on her nose before sitting down in her chair and observing the stack of documents that was piled on the left side of her desk.
Sighing, she licked her thumb and carefully picked up the document on the very top of the stack. Skimming the page, her eye was caught by four words: "Southern Isles," and "Prince Hans."
"Oh, boy," the ice queen sighed while pinching the bridge of her nose with her eyes screwed shut. Placing the document of trade off to the side, she opened another drawer and drew out a large piece of clean letter paper. Putting it neatly in front of her, she opened the lid of her ink well, picked up her feather pen, dipped the tip into the ink, carefully tapped off the excess, and began to write:
The 29th of July, in the Year of our LORD, 1839
From Queen Elsa of Arendelle to the Benevolent King Viktor of the Southern Isles:
Dear Sir, My Brother, Greetings!
I am aware that you sent your youngest brother, Prince Hans, here to me to discuss trade between your kingdom and that of Arendelle. I would first like to inform you that he arrived safely. However, I am very sorry to report that his behavior has been-
Oh, what should she say to get her point across without sounding rude?
However, I am very sorry to report that his behavior has been rather unacceptable, to put it politely.
When he arrived, he proceeded to flirt with my younger sister, the Beautiful Princess Anna, and gave her false hope of a romantic relationship. Having never had any suitors before and no previous contact with those of the male sex apart from my father, the late King of Arendelle, and a few servants, she did not know any better, and thus, reciprocated his flirts, and even accepted his ever hasty offer of marriage the same day that they met. Due to some complications, the details of which I won't burden you with, my sister became injured by magic—not, however, by your son—and only an act of true love could save her-
Pausing for a moment, Elsa put down her pen to read what she had written. It didn't sound right. The part which read, "Due to some complications" and onward made her sound suspicious. The king would surely ask himself, "What complications? How was Princess Anna injured by magic? Who injured her?"
Retrieving a clean piece of paper, she began to rewrite the letter and changed what she had to.
-the same day that they met.
In order to fully explain to you the full extent of the wrong that Prince Hans has done, I first must make a confession:
For as long as I can remember, I have had the magical ability to create, control, and manipulate ice and snow. That being said, I beg your royal Highness to please not classify me as a monster or a witch because of it, for the possession of this power is not of my choice or even that of my parents, but, as far as I know, it is the choice of our ever wise and benevolent God, Whose hand has created us with all our differences and powers, whether they are magical or not.
When I was a child, I had an accident while playing with my younger sister, accidentally striking her in the head with ice.-
The queen proceeded to tell the story of what happened in the last two days and thirteen years. As she did so, the minute hand of the clock quickly made its journey around the face of time, from one o' clock to about ten 'till two.
-After Prince Hans' failed attempt to assassinate both my sister and myself, he was caught and apprehended. My guards are currently keeping a vigilant watch over him and will continue to do so until he is safely in your courts once again.
I would like to further state that my anger is not towards your royal self or the Southern Isles, but towards Prince Hans and him alone. In addition, I have forgiven him, but he will not be allowed anywhere within my kingdom from this moment forward. If he is found herein, he will be arrested and sent back to you with the utmost speed as healthily as he was found.
Because of his treacherous motives, it is my duty, first and foremost as a sister and second as Queen, to say that trade between our kingdoms must cease as soon as this letter reaches your hand, for no matter what precautions we may take in either of our harbors to ensure his containment within your borders, I will not take any risk of Prince Hans entering my kingdom by stealth for fear of my younger sister's safety. Furthermore, I humbly wish to reassure your Royal Highness that though trade between our kingdoms must cease and though Prince Hans attempted regicide and I am returning him to you bound and under watch of my guards, I must tell you in earnest that I do not and never shall desire war or strife of any sort between us and our peoples, but instead, I yearn for peace, and meekly beg that it may continue between the Southern Isles and Arendelle.
From one elder sibling to another, I deeply hope that you understand my reasoning and choices and that you desire the safety of our younger siblings and the peace between our kingdoms as fervently as I myself do.
God save your Royal Highness!
Signed, Your Sister, Queen Elsa of Arendelle, Farewell.
Elsa thought it strange that royalty of different kingdoms addressed each other as "brother" or "sister" if they weren't even related, but her father told her that this was important and showed that you respected the person being addressed, so therefore she did it. She didn't want to be rude or even worse, cause a war.
Placing the letter on the empty right side of her desk, she made a mental note to have it sealed and sent in the morning. Taking off her spectacles, she put them on the desk as well before burying her face in her hands and letting out a deep sigh. Writing that letter proved to be rather emotionally difficult for Elsa seeing as how she had to remind herself of all that she made Anna go through for thirteen years. "The king's going to think I'm a monster," she thought aloud not noticing the temperature of the room starting to drop a bit as the candle flickered, struggling to remain alight.
Rising from her seat, she walked around her room simply to give herself something to do as she quietly sang under her breath,
"They send me away to find them a fortune,
A chest filled with diamonds and gold.
The house was awake with shadows and monsters,
The hallways, they echoed and groaned." She gazed nervously at the white and blue door which separated herself from the outside world for so many years, then towards her opened hands, clenching and unclenching them as she paced.
"I sat alone, in bed till the morning,
I'm crying, 'They're coming for me!'
And I tried to hold, these secrets inside me.
My mind's like a deadly disease." The queen remembered how her parents had summoned many doctors to try and figure out what was wrong with her. It was torture how they all treated her like some sort of emotionless automaton and not an actual human, and the secrets… it was horrible trying to conceal herself for so long.
"I'm bigger than my body,
I'm colder than this home,
I'm meaner than my demons,
I'm bigger than these bones.
And all the kids cried out,
'Please, stop, you're scaring me!'
I can't help this awful energy.
Gosh darn right, you should be scared of me.
Who is in control?" Remembering the look of horror on her parents' faces when she accidentally struck Anna and had called out for help… brought back so much pain. Elsa grabbed her hair in the sorrow, frustration, fear…and anger that the memory brought.
"I paced around for hours on empty,
I jumped at the slightest of sounds,
And I couldn't stand the person inside me,
I turned all the mirrors around." She had done all of this before. Night coming. Thinking. Overthinking. Pacing. Self-loathing. Trying to cry. Failing to cry. Shattering. Sleeping. Waking up. Facing the day. Repeat… repeat… repeat… and repeat. And simply looking at her own reflection in the mirror while doing so was of no help.
"I'm bigger than my body,
I'm colder than this home,
I'm meaner than my demons,
I'm bigger than these bones.
And all the kids cried out,
'Please, stop, you're scaring me!'
I can't help this awful energy.
Gosh darn right, you should be scared of me.
Who is in control?" After those in the post-coronation ball had witnessed her release of power, they all looked at her with such fear… she even thought she saw Anna look at her with fear. The one who she was trying to protect with every fiber of her being and every breath she took… was afraid of her.
"I'm well acquainted with villains that live in my bed.
They beg me to write them so they'll never die when I'm dead.
And I've grown familiar with villains that live in my head.
They beg me to write them so I'll never die when I'm dead." Pausing in her pacing, she looked over to her bookshelves, and recognized the cover of her diary. Since her monsters had moved from under her bed to live inside her head, she recorded her chaotic fears and thoughts in the little blank book as a way of silently screaming and crying for help.
"I'm bigger than my body,
I'm colder than this home,
I'm meaner than my demons,
I'm bigger than these bones." By now, the same tormenting phrase was cycling through the queen's head over and over and over agin: Anna was scared of me. Anna was scared of me. Anna was scared of me.
"And all the kids cried out,
'Please, stop, you're scaring me!'
I can't help this awful energy.
Gosh darn right, you should be scared of me.
Who is in control?" Anna is scared of me. Anna is scared of me. Anna is scared of me.
"And all the kids cried out,
'Please, stop, you're scaring me!'
I can't help this awful energy!
Gosh darn right, you should be scared of me!
Who is in control?!"
Stopping in front of her mirror, Elsa proceeded to talk to herself, as she had grown accustom to doing in the thirteen years of isolation since she couldn't be with Anna. "Elsa, of course the king will see you as a monster, and he's probably not the only one who does. People are scared of what they don't understand. They will never understand you. He might think you're a monster and declare war because he thinks that everything is your fault and not Hans'. And it will be all your fault. Look at you, you're such a failure. Mama and Papa must be so ashamed of you right now. Even they were scared of you and your powers. You're nothing but a freak and a disappointment. You disappointed Anna so many times when she needed you but you had locked yourself away! And she's grown scared of you, too. You idiot! You worthless fool! You pathetic lump of flesh! How can you both share a room if you've hurt her this much and might hurt her again?!" she began to raise her voice as she glared daggers at her reflection.
Suddenly, her expression switched from angry to sorrowful, as if splitting personalities. "Please," she whimpered, "leave me alone, or at least let me cry."
Anger entered the blue eyes in the mirror as the reflection replied, with a small dry laugh, "We both know that that will never happen, Elsa. I will make you suffer… I will kill you… and I will be sure to time your death so that your precious little sister is watching so that I can latch onto her and take her next."
Suddenly, Elsa shouted, "Don't touch her!" CRASH! Elsa's outstretched hand trembled as snowflakes hung suspended in the air. Shuddered breathes escaped her lips as she stared in shock at the long, large icicles lodged deep within the mirror and into the wall close behind it. "I…" she shuddered, "I won't let you touch her!"
Knock, knock, knock! "Elsa! Are you alright?!" came the concerned sound of Anna's voice from the other side of the door.
"Go away, Anna!" the queen replied out of habit before even thinking.
There was silence for a few moments, and Elsa was worried that Anna had actually left before her sister's voice was heard again, this time more stern, "No." Before the ice queen could even protest, the door to her room was already open and Anna—dear, sweet, innocent Anna—stood just inside her room.
Hi!
Dark enough for ya?
Don't worry, the chapters won't always be as short as the last one was.
Please leave a review and let me know what you thought.
God bless you and your day.
Sincerely, The Professor.