[TRIGGER WARNING: Still a little bit of depression and PTSD in this chapter, but not as much as the last one.]

Chapter Four: What the Princess Heard

Theme Song: Tender Remains by Myuu

Eyes wide and mouth open in shock, Anna surveyed her sister's room. Snowflakes were held suspended in the air, large icicles were impaling a mirror and part of the wall, pieces of said mirror lay shattered on the floor like caltrops, and Elsa… she stood in the center of it all shaking with fear… of what her sister was thinking.

"I… I heard voices," Anna awkwardly began. "Who were you talking to?"

"N-Nobody," the queen replied while holding her hands close to her chest.

"So you were… just talking to yourself?" the strawberry blonde asked while taking a careful step forward.

"Uh, yes," the blonde confirmed while taking two steps back, "I… was talking to myself." Well, it wasn't entirely a lie.

Noticing her sister stepping away, Anna decided to stay where she was for a moment so that Elsa wouldn't feel crowded. She remembered what happened in the ice palace, not out of fear, but out of worry for her sister. "You sounded angry with yourself," she added, her brow furrowed in concern. "Were you? Mad at yourself, I mean."

Elsa opened her mouth to reply, but hesitated. The automatic lie of "No, I wasn't" caught in her throat. How could she lie to her little sister again?

Seeing her sister hesitate, Anna interrupted the queen's train of thought, "Elsa, you promised no more closed doors. That includes the door in your heart. Please, tell me the truth… all of it."

Taking in a deep breath, Elsa closed her eyes and nodded vigorously as she wrapped her arms tightly around herself. She wanted to cry so much, but the tears just wouldn't come! Why wouldn't they come!? Why won't my damned demons just go to hell!?

"You were mad at yourself?"

More vigorous nodding.

Silence…

"Why?"

More silence…

"Everything…"

"Wh… what do you mean, 'everything'?" Anna questioned, wanting to understand what was wrong so that she could at least try to help her big sister. What had happened since that evening to make Elsa so upset? She seemed rather happy earlier.

"I…" the queen began with a shudder as the air began to grow just a touch chillier, "I'm the one responsible for all the problems in our lives. Freezing your head, locking you out, freezing your heart, everything." Bowing her head and beginning to stoop over with an unearthly heaviness, the queen didn't have the emotional strength to say anymore.

Seeing her big sister in such a distraught state, Anna began to quickly reach out to her sister to embrace her, but quickly stopped herself, remembering how Elsa had taken a few steps back earlier. "Elsa?" she began with concern, "What can I do to help you?"

Choosing to answer first with actions, Elsa drew away from her beloved sister with her arms wrapped around herself with fear. "Stay away from me," she choked out in reply. "Please, I don't want to hurt you again." Backing further away towards the corner of the room, Elsa murmured to herself, "This is all my fault." Ice began to crawl up the walls as her fear, self-hatred, and hopelessness increased. "Stupid, Elsa," she whispered as she slid to the floor, hugging her knees, "this is all your fault."

It was not intended for Anna to hear her, but she was heard nonetheless. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Just that afternoon, Elsa had freely hugged her without any sign of fear, only love and relief. But now it seemed as if they were going to go right back to closed doors again. No! the princess shouted in her head. I've waited too long and fought too hard to be with my sister again. I will not stand by and watch this chance to start again go down the drain! I refuse to! With this resolve, the younger sister began to reassure the other woman as calmly as she could while she knelt down so their eyes were level with each other, "Elsa, it wasn't your fault. True, they are your ice powers, but I was the one who pushed you to use them in the first place, and it was our parents' idea to separate us. Sooo, I guess all four of us are equally responsible for what happened in the last two days… and thirteen years."

"But I'm the older sister," Elsa countered. "I'm supposed to be the responsible one."

Sighing in slight impatience, Anna's heart went out to her sister as she was filled with determination. "Elsa," she calmly began again with a loving smile as she inched forward, "do you know why I'm not hugging you right now?"

"Because you're scared of me?" the Snow Queen guessed.

"No," the princess corrected. "Because I know that you're scared of yourself. So much so, that if I were to touch you, that it would just make things worse. Right?"

The queen nodded in shame.

"So, that's why I haven't touched you even though everything inside of me is telling me to hug you to make everything better," Anna clarified as she slowly sat up against the wall near her sister. "Not because I'm scared of you, but because I love you. No matter who's responsible for the past thirteen years or not, I love you, and I will always love you, and… love will always thaw."

The ice queen's shoulders shook as she began to sob, the tears slowly starting to come to her eyes. She didn't deserve her sister's love at all, and yet she was given it freely. Oh, what she would do to protect her sister from pain… like her own pain. "I-I lov-ve you t-too, A-Anna," she sobbed, the tears finally streaming down her face. "Can…" she hiccupped as the wind blew wildly around her, "can you please help me?" Elsa desperately wanted and needed a hug from her sister, but she was so afraid of herself that she didn't dare. Awkwardly resting a hand on the cold wooden floor between them, half of her hoped that her sister would grasp it, and the other half was terrified of that very hand.

"Of course I'll help you," Anna reassured her. "I admit, I don't entirely understand everything that makes you upset, but I will still help you in any way that I can." Finally noticing Elsa's hand and sensing how it awkwardly laid there, the princess asked, "Would you like me to hold your hand?"

The queen just whimpered quietly as she gave a pleading look over her knees and she inched her hand a little closer. Yes… the selfish side of her silently begged, please…. I need you.

Reading the older sister's body language as a yes, Anna slowly took the hand in her own and gave it a squeeze. As she did so, the wind died down and the ice on the walls and floor began to disappear ever so slowly. "Is there anything else that I can do to help you, Elsa?"

"Can you please stay with me tonight?" came the whispered request. "I don't want to be alone."

The request was a bit of a surprise to Anna, as well as a relief. For what felt like forever, she thought that her sister wanted nothing to do with her, and now Elsa was asking if she would stay and keep her company. On top of that, she desperately hoped that this was proof of all the doors staying open. "O-of course I'll stay with you, Elsa," the princess's voice broke in reply as she held her sister's hand more tightly, tears beginning to spill from her own eyes. Seeing her big sister—her hero—in so much pain pierced her heart and hurt it much more than the ice from before; and after hearing her say such dark, scary, and fearful words… it practically broke it. "Come on, Elsa, let's get to bed," Anna murmured, "its half past two."

Nodding in compliance, Elsa stood up with her sister as the ice and snow continued to slowly melt. Making their way over to the bed, Elsa gave her little sister's hand a squeeze in a thank you, and after removing their slippers, they both crawled underneath the covers. Laying side by side, they faced each other as the temperature of the room remained on the slightly uncomfortably cold side. "So…" the queen anxiously began as she started to hide her face under the blankets in shame, "h-how much did you hear?"

"I think I heard all of it, or at least most of it. I started listening when you mentioned Mama and Papa," the princess honestly replied.

"Did you hear the last part?"

"Especially the last part."

More tears began to flow from Elsa's eyes as she sobbed into the blanket in fear and shame, her voice breaking and snowflakes falling onto the bed, "P-Please, don't be scared of me!"

"Oh, Elsa…" Anna sighed sadly as she took her sister's face in both her hands, forcing eye contact, tears and all, "I'm not scared of you, I'm scared for you."

"You don't think I'm a monster? Or a White Witch?" the ice queen asked as she timidly sunk further into the blankets.

"You are no monster, and you are no Jadis," Anna answered while wiping Elsa's tears away with her thumbs and understanding the Narnia reference. "You are my sister, and you are my queen… White Witch? No. But Snow Queen? Yes." She smiled at her—albeit sadly—and carefully stroked a loose strand of blonde hair out of the drying path of tears. "I love you, Elsa. And no matter what you say or what you do… I will always love you." At that, she placed a tender kiss on her sister's forehead. "Please don't cry, Elsa," Anna whispered against her blonde bangs. "Please, for my sake, please don't cry."

"Okay, I'll try and stop…" Elsa replied before noticing Anna involuntarily shiver. "Are you cold, Anna?" she asked as she wiped her eyes.

"A-A little," the princess replied with a small shudder.

Sitting up, the Snow Queen stretched out her hands, and after taking a deep breath, used her love for her sister to dissipate all of the snow and ice, including the icicles that were still lodged in the mirror and wall, and the ice that still clung to the wall where they were talking a short while ago. "Are you warmer now?" the queen asked as she watched her little sister sit up as well, the temperature in the room beginning to return to normal once more.

"Yeah, thanks, Elsa," Anna replied with a warm smile as she slowly and cautiously leaned her head against her older sister's shoulder.

Elsa stiffened ever so slightly in surprise at the unexpected contact, but tried to force herself to relax. Giving a small smile in return, Elsa placed a gentle kiss on her little sister's brow before lovingly nuzzling her messy yet beautiful strawberry blonde hair. "Lucy was always my favorite character," the queen suddenly commented.

"Who?" Anna asked, furrowing her brow in confusion.

"Lucy Pevensie, from Narnia," Elsa elaborated. "She was always my favorite character because she reminded me so much of you." She chuckled lightly and pressed another affectionate kiss to the side of Anna's head.

Being very tired, the princess let her rambled response stay in her mind, and instead settled for a smile.

"I love you, Anna," the Snow Queen whispered with a sad smile. "Thank you so much for being my little sister. I love you so, so much."

"You're welcome, Elsa. I love you…" the princess was interrupted by a yawn, "too."

The older sister's smile widened. I have forgotten how adorable Anna is when she's tired, she thought. Looks like neither of us are going to be waking up early at all seeing as how late it is. "You tired, Anna?"

"Mmhmm."

"Me, too. Let's get to sleep."

Complying, Anna laid down again, and Elsa snuggled down underneath the covers as well.

"Um, Anna?" the older sister whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Can… Would it be alright if we… cuddled?" Elsa timidly asked. It had been so long since she had cuddled with anyone or since she had had that much physical contact, long enough to make her feel nervous, uncomfortable, and even scared about this, but, as strange as it sounded, she wanted physical contact again. She wanted touch again. She wanted to have her hand held and remember what it felt like to intertwine her cold fingers with the warm ones of someone she trusted. She wanted to be cuddled and held securely in the arms of a loved one as she drifted off to sleep and not have to worry about facing her nightmares alone anymore. She wanted to be hugged again; to be reassured, not with words, but with loving arms enveloped gently and protectively around her that everything was going to be okay. But what she wanted more than to receive those things was to give those things, and most of all, she wanted to receive those things from her sister and give them to her sister again.

There was so much that she—no, that they both had missed out on while growing up that they had once taken for granted. One of them grasping the other's had before dragging them off on a potential adventure. One of them being cuddled by the other after a nightmare. Both of them sharing a warm hug to comfort and be comforted by each other as they dealt with their individual problems and insecurities. Neither of them had had any of that from each other for the past thirteen years of their lives… and that lack of contact hurt them both so much.

In the twenty-first century, doctors and scientists have discovered that when one human gently touches another—whether with a hug, a kiss, holding hands, cuddling, a pat on the back, or etc.—it causes the brain to release the chemical oxytocin, which is the chemical that relates to trust, safety, and love, and helps drive away pain, stress, anxiety, and fear while supporting their immune system. It is also important to note that those who don't have much physical contact with others while growing up are more prone to violence and crime, so the fact that Elsa hadn't deliberately tried to hurt anyone yet—excluding the attack from Weselton's men, for that was self-defense—was both a shock and a relief.

It is astonishing how something as simple as an innocent touch between sisters—something as simple as hugs and kisses good-morning and goodnight, or a teasing nudge of the shoulder, or a playful tickle—could be so biologically important, and it is equally astonishing how something so important could be taken for granted.

Elsa didn't want physical contact with her little sister, she needed physical contact with her little sister, and Anna didn't want touch from her big sister, she needed touch from her big sister… just as much as Elsa needed it.

Anna simply nodded with a smile at Elsa's request to cuddle before sliding one arm underneath the pillows and draping the other arm around the older sibling's waist while scooting a bit closer. Elsa wrapped one arm around her sister and kept the other one close to herself out of fear caution as she inched a little bit closer as well. Pulling the blankets further over them, Anna pulled her sister even closer, close enough to rest her chin on the other's head. Elsa pressed the side of her head against the younger sister's collar bone, then feeling a little braver, she sought out Anna's heartbeat. Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump... Upon finding it, the queen smiled peacefully to herself. There it is. The sound of Anna's heart beating steadily within her chest calmed her and reassured her that her precious little sister was alive and well… and not a statue of ice.

Anna wrapped her arms around her big sister's shoulders, one hand pressed between her shoulder blades and the other slowly stroking her long blonde hair. The physical contact reassured her that this wasn't a dream; that she was actually hugging Elsa and not a pillow like she had been every night for the past thirteen years. "Night-night, Elsa," she whispered before slowly and sleepily peppering kisses on the top of the older sibling's head.

"Goodnight, Anna," the Snow Queen murmured in return.

After a few minutes, Elsa fell asleep, and when the princess both heard and felt her sister's calm, rhythmic breathing, she began to gently comb her fingers loosely through the long and unbraided platinum blonde hair while still trailing kisses across equally blonde bangs. Oh, Elsa. What am I going to do with you? With new tears of worry and pain stinging her eyes and blurring her already sleepy vision, Anna too started to fall asleep… but only after a silent prayer of, Heaven help us.

Despite her pain and worry, however, when sleep finally claimed the princess, she had a smile on her face, and why?

Because she had her sister back.

X

I hope you liked the chapter.

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God bless you and your day.

Sincerely, The Professor.