A/N: Hello again! We introduced some of the characters in the story before, but we thought we would give you a bit of a refresher and also introduce a few new characters!

Luca and Elettra/Lettie are Dustfinger's parents; Luca being a juggler with the strolling players. Juliana and Rowan are the Black Prince's parents. They'll be heavily featured in the next few stories as we play through the early lives of Dustfinger and the Prince and may be mentioned or referred to later on in other stories. Another character that will show up in later stories is Marco, a personal friend of both boy's parents.

Making their first appearance in this story are Lucio, Soren, and Cassandra! Lucio is Dustfinger's name before he became a strolling player, Soren is the Black Prince's given name, and Cassandra is the older of the Prince's two younger sisters.

This is in no way cannon and we only own Marco, Luca, Lettie, Juliana, and Rowan. All other characters belong to Cornelia Funke.

Also, writing updates and a few little extras can be found on our Twitter and Instagram pages! :) Links for those can be found on our profile page.

He Had To Go Away

A rainbow flying through the air. That was what Juliana would compare to the brightly colored balls that Luca so skillfully juggled for the entertainment of the three young children in front of him. Occasionally, he'd bounce the balls off of his head or knee or even do little tricks to keep the bright smiles on the children's faces. Both boys and even the young girl leaning against her older brother had such a look of awe in their eyes as if they'd never seen something so amazing though Luca would perform for them whenever he wasn't too tired after a long day of searching for work. But their expressions still brought bright smiles to both herself and Luca. These were the kind of performances that she loved; the small, private shows that would pose no danger to anyone and still brought joy to the most important people in their lives.

If only Rowan was also home performing for them, but with six people - including three growing children and one on the way - they needed at least enough money to get the things they couldn't possibly get out in the Wayless Wood, and Rowan's performances were the only way he knew to get it.

It had been three years since Luca had shown up one evening with his newborn son in his arms, begging them to feed him after his mother had passed away. Never once had Rowan and Juliana ever regretted the decision to help them and let them continue to live there even after the dear child no longer needed Juliana's care and they'd welcomed their sweet Cassandra into the world. They knew that there was always someone to look after their camp and their children if Rowan was outperforming as he was now, and they'd grown to love the young red-haired boy as much as if he was also their own.

Luca's show continued further into the day, the sun lazily moving across the sky so that the shadows would shift a little each time Juliana cared to look at them until the snapping of twigs signaled someone's approach. As Luca quickly snatched the colorful balls out of the air, Juliana whipped her head around to search the spaces between the trees surrounding them, a protective hand resting on her stomach, swollen with the child she carried, as caution tensed her features.

But her worry immediately faded at the sight of a familiar face emerging from the trees. Marco; another strolling player and a very good friend of Luca's. Over the past few years, he'd become nearly as good a friend to Juliana and Rowan, his kindness, and goodness showing through his usually closed off demeanor once you got to know him. This time though, his expression was something entirely different from the pleasant expression he usually reserved for their group. No, this was an expression of such sorrow and reluctance that Juliana felt as if she knew exactly what words would soon come out of his mouth.

She only knew that Luca had moved to stand beside her when she heard his voice telling their children to stay where they were still seated on the ground and the footsteps that followed. She knew that he would have the same thoughts running through his mind, knowing that the only thing that could make Marco so solemn was what any strolling player dreaded.

As Marco finally reached them, Juliana wrapped her fingers tightly around Luca's arm, her other hand still resting against her stomach. Their friend looked as if it pained him to even look at their little group as his gaze traveled over the three young children before meeting Luca and Juliana's gazes. He ran his hand through his short brown hair for a moment before he spoke, obviously having to force the words.

"The soldiers caught him this morning," he said so softly that Juliana could barely hear him. He never said who they'd caught, but the absence of her husband had never felt so terrible as it did right then. She almost couldn't hear his next words over her own rapidly beating heart. "I'm sorry Juliana. I would've told you sooner, but I only just found out myself."

No, there must have been some mistake. Rowan was smart; too smart and too careful to be caught by the Adderhead's soldiers. He knew that he had a son and daughter to come home to and that there would soon be a third within the next few weeks. She made sure to remind him each time he left for a performance, not letting him go until he'd promised to come home. But this was the first time he wouldn't be able to keep his promise.

Everything seemed to be closing in on her as his words sank in fully. She found that she could produce no other reaction other than ducking her head to look down at the ground beneath their feet. When Luca wrapped an arm around her, she could only lean against him as she took a few shaky breaths. She struggled to lift her head to look up at Marco, but she had to know the rest of what he had to say.

"Have they already-" She stopped before she could finish her question, her mouth refusing to form any words that could so much as hint to her husband's fate. She knew Marco had understood just fine though when he shook his head.

"No. Not until sunset."

She closed her eyes at his response, the truth of what was happening ringing so clearly even in those four short words. Sunset wasn't that far off; the sun had passed its highest peak in the sky long ago. It wouldn't be much longer before her dear Rowan would be killed. For doing nothing more than trying to provide for his growing family.

Now thanks to the Adderhead's laws, he wouldn't even be able to meet his youngest child. He would never be able to speak their name, hear their first words or see their first steps. And this dear, little one would never know the man who loved his family more than life itself. They would be lucky if Cassandra and Soren would even remember him after a few years had passed. Those thoughts in that moment were nearly enough to make her break down where she stood, but there were other things that needed to be addressed before she could do anything of the sort.

Determination slowly set in as she opened her eyes. She had to be there. There was no way she would be able to just sit there in their little camp watching the sun set, knowing what it meant for the only man she'd ever loved. She had to at least see him; had to make sure he saw the love in her gaze one last time before she would lose him forever.

"I have to go, Luca," she said, looking up at him, an almost pleading expression on her face. "But I can't go alone... Will you come with me?"

"Of course," he nodded immediately. "If we go quickly we can still make it before sunset."

Gratitude swelled in her chest as she nodded before turning to Marco.

"Will you watch them? They're much too young to be anywhere near such a thing. And I'd rather my son and daughter remember their father as he was this morning before he left."

She closed her eyes against the sudden onslaught of tears that threatened to spill, her voice breaking as the final words left her mouth. Such terrible words should never have had to be spoken, especially not involving such young children. Soren was only three and Cassandra had only just turned one. They needed their father so badly still. But their prince cared nothing for the families of the strolling players he had sentenced to death without a second thought or any other unfortunate soul for that matter.

"Of course I will," Marco replied with a quick nod. "They'll be safe here with me."

His gaze moved over to the three children before turning back to Luca, adding, "just make sure the two of you stay safe as well."

"We will," Luca agreed. "Thank you, Marco."

As Luca finished speaking, Juliana finally turned her own gaze upon the young children to see the two boys watching them with obvious confusion in their expressions. Sorrow filled her chest as she watched her daughter tug on her brother's shirt, pulling herself to her feet with a light giggle, completely unaware of the darkness that had settled on their small camp.

She could only nod in response to Luca's words, words that she barely even heard. Something about telling the boys that they would be gone for a bit. As her gaze met that of her son, much too young to have such worry in his eyes, she could only hold it for a moment before her gaze dropped back to the ground beneath her feet. She felt the gentle squeeze of Luca's hand in hers before the sounds of his footsteps moved across their little clearing. His words were still muffled in her ears, her mind already looking into the future, struggling to form one that didn't involve the father of her children, but the pounding of her heart seemed to block out even her own thoughts.

"Are you goin' too, Mother?" A small voice broke through the rush in her ears, seeming to stop the pounding in her chest for an instant. She looked back up to see Sorren looking worriedly at her, one hand wrapped around the even smaller one of his sister's seemingly without even thinking about it as she continued to hold onto his shirt.

Juliana slowly walked over to where her children sat, carefully kneeling down to look Soren in the eyes. Seeing her mother, Cassandra reached out both hands, eyes sparkling with excitement even as she began to tumble forward, right into her mother's waiting arms. Juliana pulled her into her lap, holding her close as she pressed a kiss to the top of her head before holding an arm out for Soren. The young child moved to press himself against his mother's side, settling into her embrace as her arm wrapped around him, holding him tightly against her.

"Do you have to go?" he asking, looking up at her with wide dark eyes.

"I'm afraid so," she said quietly. She leaned down and kissed his forehead gently, pulling back just enough to tap him lightly on the nose with her forefinger as she forced a small smile to her lips. "But we'll be back tonight, my sweet one, I promise. Listen to Marco until then, alright?"

She held her children tightly for a long moment, closing her eyes against the tears that threatened to spill any second. She had to hold them back at least until she'd left the clearing, just long enough that Soren wouldn't see how truly upset she was. She hadn't clarified that the we she'd been referring to would only be her and Luca, hadn't dared to say that the father of her children wouldn't be coming home with them, or even at all. Perhaps some small part of her still held a minuscule hope that Marco had heard wrong or that Rowan had somehow escaped - anything but the truth of what would come to pass within a rapidly shrinking fraction of time. She couldn't bear to say such words until it was absolutely certain that her dear Rowan wasn't coming back, no matter how hard she wished it. Cassie surely wouldn't understand, wouldn't be able to figure out where her father was. But Soren… he would understand. Maybe not right away, and maybe not completely, but he would understand that Rowan wasn't coming back to them. She knew it would break his heart, and she just couldn't bear to see him as heartbroken as she already was. Not right now.

Which was why she kissed each of her children one more time before forcing herself to gently set Cassie beside her brother before slowly standing. She glanced over at Luca, in part to hide the tears that threatened to spill over as she gave him a small nod. That was the only indication that she could manage to give to signal that she was ready for something that she could never actually be ready for. But she had to see Rowan - her Rowan - one last time. There was no way that she would ever forgive herself if he was forced to face this all alone.

Her gaze traveled back to the ground as Luca nodded back, running a hand over Lucio's bright hair as he walked over to her, placing a hand on her shoulder to lead her away. From what seemed like a very long distance away, she could hear him telling the boys to behave for Marco, to look after Cassie, and that they loved them and would be back soon, but her thoughts were already racing in the direction that would lead them to Rowan.

We'll be there soon, love. I'll be with you. Not much longer. She repeated these words over and over in her mind as they walked, the only sounds she could hear through the deafening silence cloaking herself and Luca, seeming to muffle even the sounds of their footsteps over the forest floor. She was so focused on her own thoughts, her own worries for Rowan and what he might be going through, that she didn't even seem to notice what paths they were taking or when Luca led her hand to rest on his arm as a way to lead her through the trees, his own hand covering hers in the only sign of comfort he could seem to manage.

When the outlines of buildings began to emerge through the trees, she stopped suddenly, barely able to stifle the sob that escaped her at the thought of having to raise their children on her own. There was so much they would all miss out on… The children wouldn't be able to remember their father themselves for very long, and the child that was still nestled safely inside of her would never even be able to experience what a world with their father was like. It was such a struggle to even imagine a world without Rowan by her side, watching their children grow; how was she possibly supposed to live in one?

"You won't be alone, Juliana," Luca said softly, almost as if he could hear the thoughts running rampant in her mind. He gently squeezed her hand as he turned to look at her, comfort and sorrow mingling in his gaze. "I'll be right here the whole time, alright?"

She bit her lip as she glanced at him for only a moment before looking back at the buildings standing imposingly before them. Gratitude rushed in to mingle with the fear, but it still wasn't enough to make her relax her grip on his arm as they continued on, trying to keep as hidden as possible as they walked between buildings, following the flow of people heading towards the center of town. It would have been obvious enough where they were heading, even without the bursts of conversation that reached her ears; voices filled with scorn for the strolling players or excitement that they would be able to escape from their everyday lives for a few moments.

As they reached the town center, she froze. There. Though Luca made sure they stuck to the middle of the crowd in an attempt to keep as much attention away from them as possible, she could still clearly see him through the gaps in the crowd that surrounded the pillory. Arms and neck locked securely into place by the wooden beams, head hanging in defeat, his eyes closed as if he couldn't bear to see this terrible world around him anymore.

"Rowan," she whispered under her breath, so softly that only Luca, who still stood close by her side, could hear.

She'd never seen him look so beaten down - almost broken - as he did now. She could feel the break in her own heart growing bigger as she watched him; soon it would break completely in two, leaving her with only the part of her heart that held the love for her children as her husband was snatched away from her. She'd always been able to ease his worries and fears whenever he came home after a day in which he'd gotten not a single chance to perform and they were low on money. But today was different; these were fears that she would never be able to calm, a frown that she would never again be able to shape back into the bright smile that he'd passed on to their children. She couldn't even lace her fingers with his and brush her thumb across his hand as she always did whenever he needed her presence beside him. No, this was something that Rowan had to face on his own.

She visibly flinched as a stone sailed through the air, hitting the corner of the pillory that held her husband securely. Whoever had thrown it was obviously a terrible shot, but the action evidently set multiple others in the crowd to following suit, throwing stones, fruits, vegetables - whatever they had on hand, really.

She could feel the tension in Luca's muscles as her hand tightened on his arm; it was obviously taking everything in him not to fight for his friend, even if it would end with his own life ending alongside him. But he knew better, that much she was sure of. He wouldn't risk himself like that unless he actually had a chance at winning, and right now, he certainly didn't.

Yet another stone was launched towards Rowan, but unfortunately, this assailant was a much better shot. A gasp escaped Julianna's lips before she could stop it as a deep cut sliced Rowan's forehead, pain overtaking his expression as blood ran down the side of his face.

A burst of anger shot through her as the soldiers looked on carelessly, hands on the hilts of their swords only because they had to be. Those men had to be husbands, fathers, or at least brothers or sons. Didn't they understand how much pain they were causing by taking an innocent man away from his family? But they wouldn't believe him to be innocent because the Adderhead said he wasn't. Even if they did, they were all too afraid of the Adderhead to do anything about it. So instead they would resign themselves to watching as Argenta's people were brought enjoyment by the ending of yet another life.

The fingers of her free hand wrapped tightly around her skirts, forcing herself to stand still as she watched her husband ridiculed by the same people he used to bring so much joy to. Her entire being seemed to be fighting against her; screaming at her to run to him, run her fingers over his face, kiss him, and tell him everything would be alright. But the slight, sudden movement in her swollen stomach reminded her of why she couldn't, no matter how badly her heart wanted it. Her children needed at least one of their parents. And this baby inside of her would surely need her for a long time yet.

She leaned against Luca as his arm wrapped around her shoulders, the pain in his own gaze nearly matching hers. For the instant that she looked at him, she imagined that he was thinking back on the day that he'd lost his wife; the day that he'd had to sit there and watch her slowly drift away from him. But such thoughts quickly flew away as her gaze drifted back to Rowan.

Her heart skipped as her dark gaze met his, the distance between them seeming to disappear, along with everything else around them. Fear and something like guilt mingled together in his eyes as he looked at her, though love was the most obvious emotion shining through, seeming to convey every I'm sorry, every I love you, that he would never get a chance to say.

Tears filled her eyes once more as she watched him. She'd never seen such fear in his gaze - never once imagined that she would have to. It seemed more like a mask had been placed over his features, not at all fitting with the rest of him. The only emotion that belonged in his expression was the love and joy that always came over him whenever he looked at her as he felt their third tiny miracle move inside of her or watched their children play. The love and joy that always signified that he was home. How could anyone possibly believe that he deserved this? Even after living in this country her entire life, she still couldn't understand it.

I love you, she mouthed, heart hurting as she watched him shift uncomfortably, the wood of the pillory scraping against the back of his neck.

Always. His mouth had barely formed the word before the sound of metallic footsteps echoed through the square, bringing with it the crushing feeling of hopelessness that settled on Juliana's chest, making it more and more difficult for her to breathe as they drew nearer. Rowan's eyes flew from Juliana to the approaching soldiers and back, panic filling them as the reality of his situation finally sank in. This really would be the last time they were so close to each other until Juliana joined him in Death's realm.

Her fingers moved to wrap around Luca's arm once more, trusting him to keep her from running to her husband as the soldiers roughly pulled him out of the pillory, her free hand lifting to press against her stomach as her heart raced. She could do nothing but watch as they forced Rowan's arms behind his back, tying his hands together with as much gentleness as a wildcat pinning down its prey, her gaze holding his until they dragged him in the direction they'd come from.

Even as he was being pulled away, Rowan twisted around as much as he could, looking back at them as desperation spread over his features.

"Take care of them," he called, his voice filled with a pleading urgency.

Juliana's hand flew up to her mouth to muffle the sob that came so close to escaping. Those words, so full of desperation, would most likely be the last words that she ever heard her husband say and they echoed through her mind and her heart as if etching themselves deep into her memory alongside his I love you's for when she needed the comfort he'd always been able to give.

Her throat was still so tight as if trying to choke her as she glanced up at Luca, seeing the muscle in his jaw tense as he gave an almost imperceptible nod. It probably wouldn't have mattered anyway; no one was aiming any of their attention in the direction of the man and woman standing in the middle of the crowd.

Juliana didn't protest as Luca wrapped an arm tightly around her shoulders once more as he led her after the soldiers along with the rest of the crowd, making sure to keep towards the center and avoid attention. She took a shaky breath as she moved both hands to press against her stomach, tears filling her eyes again as the child inside stirred as if sensing her touch.

The gallows appeared before them much too soon, as if Death herself had sped up time just to take Rowan away that much faster. By the time the crowd had finally settled and Juliana's eyes could once again find Rowan, the soldiers had already led him to the top of the platform, holding him still as a soldier slipped the rope around his neck, before forcing him up onto the box that sat before him.

Though she hated everything about the scene taking place before her, she couldn't bring herself to look away. This would be the last time she would ever see Rowan in this life and her gaze traveled over his features almost of their own accord as if to commit every inch of his face to memory for the time she would have to go without it.

She was glad for her need to see him as their eyes met through the crowd. Rowan didn't even seem to notice the soldiers surrounding him as they double checked the ropes that bound his hands before adjusting the one wrapped snugly around his throat. The only thing that proved how aware of the situation he was was in the way that he shifted weight, struggling to swallow against the noose that would soon take away any ability to breathe in moments.

She swallowed instinctively, the ghost of a rope seeming to tighten around her own throat, eyes blinking rapidly to chase away the tears that threatened to spill. She refused to reveal how much she was breaking inside until Rowan was no longer able to see. It was so, so hard though… especially when she could see the love shining in her husband's eyes even from this distance.

I love you, she mouthed once more, needing her lips to be able to form those words for him one last time, needing him to know that she would be there for him until he left her.

A mere shadow of the smile that he usually wore appeared on Rowan's face as he looked at her before his lips moved to echo the same words back to her. No sooner had he finished, however, when the soldier beside him kicked the box out from beneath his feet. A gasp flew from Juliana's lips as she flinched back, watching the life slowly seep out of her husband.

She hardly even felt Luca's arm tightening around her shoulders, holding her close as she tried futilely to tear her gaze away from the man she loved. Time seemed to pass so slowly, making it seem like hours had passed before three women appeared before the gallows out of thin air, as if by magic, though this was no magic anyone would want to be anywhere near. White Women; Death's daughters whom she sent to retrieve the lives of the dying.

Fear and something strangely like relief flooded through her as they approached Rowan, his name a whisper on their lips. Even if she had been able to reach him, she would never cover his ears to block out their words. Not when she could see the pain in his expression, the fear and the panic that threatened to drown out everything around him. She watched as one of the White Women reached out a pale hand to touch Rowan's heart, mercifully erasing all of the suffering that had been there only moments before.

She couldn't help the silent thank you that echoed through her mind to Death for sending her daughters so quickly. Perhaps there was a part of Death, or at least her daughters, that actually cared for the people they took away… or maybe it was just greed for yet another human soul that made them come so early. Whatever the reason, she was grateful that Rowan would no longer have to feel such pain, even if it meant leaving his family behind.

As the White Women faded away, their task accomplished, Juliana finally allowed herself to turn away, burying her face against Luca's shoulder as she allowed silent tears to run down her cheek. She couldn't allow herself to really mourn her husband until they were safely in the woods, far away from any soldiers who would question why the death of a lowly strolling player was being mourned so deeply. She couldn't risk the life of herself or her child, no matter how badly she wanted to break down right then and there.

She could feel the weight of Luca's chin rest against her head, the shake of his shoulders as he tried to keep his breathing even, though she could tell he was nearly as upset as she was. Her fingers curled tightly around the fabric of his shirt as the disappointed mutters of the people around her reached her ears. Of course, they'd been hoping for an execution that would last longer than a few moments, but to Juliana, this was more than long enough, even for a true criminal. No one deserved to suffer as the strolling players did at the hands of the Adderhead.

As the crowd began to disperse, she forced herself to pull away from the comfort her friend provided, keeping her gaze averted from the gallows now that it was over. Biting her lip as she wrapped a hand around Luca's arm once more, she allowed him to lead her away, back towards the woods, though each step sent a shock of pain to her nearly shattered heart.

Juliana couldn't tell how much time had passed since they'd left the town behind them and crept back into the safety of the Wayless Wood. The sun was nearly gone now, only a faint glow on the horizon that barely reached through the trees as they walked. It wouldn't be long now before they reached the camp where Marco and the children waited. No, not long before they would have to explain that Rowan wouldn't be coming home, wouldn't be able to kiss his children goodnight like he did every night, no matter how late or how tired he was.

Suddenly, she stopped. A cry finally tore from her throat though she'd begun to believe that her tears had dried for now. She quickly covered her mouth, but it didn't make any difference. The tears still came, her body wracked with sobs as she slowly sank to her knees, burying her face in her hands. Now that they were far away from anyone who could cause them harm, the truth of what had just happened had finally sunk in, sending stabbing pains through her entire being as she cried.

She pulled her shaking hands away to wrap her arms around her middle, fingers wrapping tightly around the fabric at her waist. All she wanted at that moment was to be held in Rowan's embrace - just one more time. She needed his arms holding her close, his hand gently stroking her hair, his whispered words bringing her more comfort than anything else in the world could. Luca was one of her best friends, but his hand on her arm was nothing compared to the safety and comfort that Rowan had always provided.

"How am I supposed to do this without him?" Her words came softly as she looked down at her swollen stomach and the ground past it through the blur of tears brimming her gaze. There was no longer any way for her to provide for her family. She herself wasn't much of a performer; that had always been Rowan's job. And there was certainly no possibility of finding a job in one of Argenta's already overcrowded villages, especially with the Adderhead's laws.

"You can do it, Juliana," Luca said gently, crouching down beside her. "I know - believe me, I know - how hard this seems right now, how hopeless. I know how the pain seems to fill you, leaving little room for much else, or how the weight of it all feels like it will crush you and you can't see how it's possible to live without them. But you can, and you will. You already have two children to care for, and very soon there will be three, all depending on you to raise them and keep their father's memory alive.

And I'll be here for as long as you need or want me. You once took care of me and my boy when we lost Lettie; now it's my turn to return the favor. You can do this, I promise."

"Thank you." She couldn't seem to manage anything above a whisper, so she reached out a hand to take his, squeezing it tightly to emphasize the gratitude in her voice. She really didn't know what she would do if she didn't have Luca or Marco now. Having friends to help you through the dark was much easier than struggling through on your own.

She didn't know how long she allowed herself to sit there, on the darkening forest floor, eyes closed as Rowan's face appeared in her memory, forcing herself to make sure every detail of him would never fade. But eventually, Luca squeezed her hand gently, reminding her that it was very near complete darkness now and they had family waiting for their safe return.

She ran a hand carefully over her stomach, silently praying that Rowan was happy in Death's realm, or at least without pain and fear, before pushing herself back to her feet with the help of Luca. She kept her hand rested protectively on her stomach as they walked, letting Luca stay alert of their surroundings as she walked beside him. He practically knew these woods like the back of his hand by now; he would make sure they got back safely.

And he did just that in the light of the moon and stars that barely lit the forest floor beneath the strolling players' feet until the trees finally began to thin, signaling their arrival to the little clearing they'd called home for the past three years.

Juliana paused at the edge of the clearing, her gaze traveling across the camp before finally settling on the little group huddled together by a small fire. Thankfully, they were far enough away from the town that they could have fires at night now that autumn was reaching out its cool fingers, bringing with it colder nights that only hinted at what was to come.

Her heart seemed to melt a little as she saw the smallest shape of her daughter curled up in Marco's lap, sound asleep, chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm as she sucked on her thumb.

Unfortunately, both boys were still seemingly wide awake, sitting by the fire playing some sort of game that only they knew the rules to. Occasionally, they would burst into fits of laughter that Marco would quickly but gently put an end to, one hand gently stroking Cassie's hair as she stirred slightly before settling back against him.

A burst of gratitude and love spread through her as she watched how Marco handled the children, the way he spoke to them and looked at them. Even now, though he'd insisted time and time again that they were all the family he needed, she couldn't believe he was still without a family of his own. But she could understand why he was hesitant, especially now. He was a tightrope walker - one of the most dangerous professions in this country, but he loved it. His job opportunities were few and far between here in Argenta, but at least that made the pay a bit better than others would receive. But Juliana knew that he hated the thought of having a family that could be put at risk if he made even the slightest mistake.

"Mother!"

"Father!"

She jumped as two young voices simultaneously called loudly across the clearing, erasing any thoughts besides the ones that she'd been trying her best to ignore for as long as possible. The ones that tried, again and again, to explain what would have to be said to her children about why their father wasn't with her.

As Soren jumped to his feet and ran to her, a wide grin on his face, she forced as much of a smile as she could manage to her lips, though it took as much effort as trying to wade north along a southbound river. She walked forward to meet him, a small breath of laughter escaping her lips as he forced himself to slow down before he could plow into her, nearly stumbling over his own feet before wrapping his arms tightly around her legs. She ran a hand gently over his short hair as he grinned up at her with a smile so much like his father's that tears threatened to spill at the sight of it.

"Hello again, my sweet boy," she said softly, barely noticing the blur of bright red hair that raced past her to where Luca stood a few steps away. "Were you good for Marco while we were gone?"

"Very good," Marco responded from his place by the fire, though his voice was nearly drowned out by the sudden cries of the little girl in his arms as she startled awake, the sound of the boys' voices dragging her out of sleep. His attention immediately moved to calm her down, rocking her slowly as one hand gently patted her back, muttering slow, soothing whispers to her as he did. After three years with them, he knew how to calm a baby's tears nearly as well as their own parents did.

Though her first instinct was to hurry to comfort her daughter's cries, perhaps let her eat to soothe her back into sleep, Juliana knew Marco had it handled for now. And besides, it would only be a matter of time before -

"Mother?" A small tug on her skirt made her gaze travel back to the little boy beside her, though his gaze was fixed on the woods behind her as if waiting for someone to step out from behind a tree. "Where's Father? He didn't come back with you?"

Even though she'd been expecting it, her heart seemed to stop its steady rhythm for a moment at her son's words. Words so sweet and innocent that they should have been easily answered with a simple explanation; oh, he'll be home soon. He just decided to stay out for a bit longer so more people could see him perform. This sweet child's happiness shouldn't have had to be extinguished so abruptly, so harshly.

She glanced over at Luca for an instant, finding the same sorrow she felt in his eyes as their gazes met, before gently taking Soren's hand in hers. Holding him close, she led him back to the fire, avoiding Marco's gaze for fear that she would break down before she could get the words that needed to be said out, though she did sneak a glance at Cassie, feeling a slight bit of relief that at least she had calmed down, her head now resting against Marco's shoulder as she continued to suck her thumb, though her gaze never left his face. Marco had always been one of Cassie's favorite people.

When she reached the blanket that had been spread beside the fire for the children to play on, she sank down, careful of her stomach as she sat. Once she was settled, she pulled Soren gently into her lap, though he was nearly too big for her to comfortably do such a thing when she was so far along. At that moment, though, she didn't care whether holding him in her lap was difficult or not. She needed her children, the only things she had left of her Rowan, as close to her as possible right now.

The little boy in her lap seemed mildly surprised as he looked up at her; he hadn't been able to sit in her lap for quite some time while the new baby grew. She gave him another shaky smile as she brushed a thumb lightly over his cheek, staring into a pair of dark eyes that were so like Rowan's for only a moment before she had to look away.

"Mother?" Soren could obviously tell by now that something wasn't quite right. Luca had stayed at the edge of the camp, Lucio held tightly in his arms as he whispered softly to him, though his gaze flicked towards Juliana more than once as he spoke. Marco kept his attention on the flickering ombre colors of the flames as he continued to run a hand gently up and down Cassie's back. The entire clearing seemed to have a blanket of silence over it, almost as if the Wood itself was holding its breath in frightful anticipation of Juliana's words.

Holding her son closer, she bent forward to press a kiss to his forehead for a long moment, closing her eyes as she tried to calm her racing thoughts into an explanation that would make sense to the young child in her arms.

"Your father -" she began but paused as her breath hitched, tears filling her eyes as she pulled away to look down at the small face staring up at her. She took a deep, shaky breath before trying again, forcing each word out though it threatened to break her. "He had to go away. Somewhere… very far. And we won't be able to see him again for… a very long time."

For a long moment, Soren only stared up at her, expression swiftly changing from one of complete confusion to utter heartbreak as he processed his mother's words. Finally, he just shook his head, slowly at first, then faster.

"No, Mother," he said, the words coming out as a soft whine that cut deep into Juliana's heart. "Father wouldn't do that. He always says goodbye. And he loves us. He wouldn't go away."

"I know he does, my sweet Soren," Juliana said softly, forcing back the sob that threatened to escape as she brushed her thumb across his cheek. "He loves us so, so much. He didn't want to go away, but he had to, and I know he would've said goodbye to you if he could. You'll see him again one day, baby, I promise."

"But… I want to see him now…" He twisted around to look at the trees on the other side of the clearing, the place where Rowan always appeared after a day's work. His voice trembled as he spoke, eyes searching desperately for any sign of his father.

At those words, those desperate, heartbroken words, the tears finally escaped, leaving trails along Juliana's cheeks as she leaned her forehead down to rest against the top of his head. One hand moved to gently rub his back, though she doubted it would comfort the little boy much.

"I know baby," she finally whispered, closing her eyes against the pain that still threatened to crush her. "I do too."

Her words seemed to have finally reached Soren's heart as she felt him shift to sit beside her before pressing against her side. Small fingers wrapped around the cloth of her dress as soft cries drifted into the night. She could feel his small shoulders shaking beneath her touch as she wrapped her arms tightly around him, rocking slightly as she held him close. She hadn't thought it was even possible for her heart to break more than it already had, but hearing the sound of her son's sobs proved otherwise.

"I'm sorry Soren." Her voice was barely audible to her own ears as she spoke softly into his ear. "I'm so sorry."

After a moment, she pulled away and gently tilted Soren's face up to look at her, moving her hands to gently wipe away the tears that trailed down his cheeks. Even as she looked down at him, she knew she would never be able to erase the sight of the pain and confusion that marred his small face.

But she knew it would eventually fade. Not right away, of course. Even as young as he was, it would most likely take Soren months before he got used to not seeing his father every day as he had his entire three years of life. She also knew there would be days when he would ask her if enough time had passed for Rowan to come home again or when they would get to see him, and eventually, she would have to truly explain where Rowan had gone; she would have to explain what, and who, Death really was.

A small, genuine smile passed her lips for the first time since that afternoon as she looked back towards her daughter, still nestled in Marco's arms, curled against him in attempt to hide from the cold. Even though she'd been crying what seemed like only moments ago, she'd already drifted back into her land of dreams, still sucking sleepily on her thumb, an occasional smile curling the corners of her mouth.

Yes, she would have to explain all of this one day. But not today, Juliana thought as she held Soren close once more, glancing back down as he buried his face against the fabric at her waist. There would be time for all of those words later after the pain had dulled into an ache that they could manage through each passing day. She still had two very young children to care for, and the baby still growing inside her would need a few more things prepared before it was welcomed into the world. She would just have to keep herself busy through her mourning for the man who had been with her through so much.

And besides, she and her children wouldn't be alone; they would still have Luca and Lucio, and she prayed that Marco would continue to stay with them as well. As long as she had such kind-hearted people around her, she would manage. She had to.