I looked at the crumbled paper in my hand again, and then back up at the empty parking lot we were supposed to meet the dealer in. I checked the machete that was attached to my hip again, making sure it was still secure. I took a deep breath and looked into the rearview mirror, looking at Ali.

"You remember the plan?" I asked her as a nice looking and new Ford pickup pulled into the lot. She gave me a nod. "I'll be back in a moment." I got from the car and made my way towards the truck, looking for some small sign that Ketch was nearby. But of course there was none, he was too good at his job to leave any trace of himself.

A single man stepped from the truck, at least as tall as Sam. He had broad shoulders and a wide gate as he walked. There were tattoos across almost every inch of him that wasn't covered, making him look dirty. I understood why Carter was afraid of the dealer. The situation was making me nervous, even if there really wasn't a reason for me to be.

"You Chris?" I asked him, still a good twenty feet away.

"Yeah. You the one Carter sent over?" His voice was deeper than I imagined and for some reason it took me back to the gas station out of town. He had to be one of the guys that the clerk had described. I nodded in answer. "Then pay up. I have another meet up I'm late to."

"Actually," I said, taking a slow step towards him, "I was hoping we could talk for a bit." I pushed forward and in a second I had him pinned against his truck with my machete at his neck. "You're gonna tell me where you're keeping my friend." I let my eyes flicker to black. "And if you don't I'm going to cut your head off."

He smiled with a small laugh. "Not many demons in these parts. What brings you here? It's not the drugs, is it? You don't feel a thing."

"I told you. I'm here for my friend." I pushed the blade into his neck slightly, watching a small red line appear along it. "Her name is Elly. She would've come here about a week ago. Blonde. Smart mouthed. Beautiful."

"You talking about the hunter we caught?" He was still smiling brightly. "We took care of her. She was past her usefulness. You should be grateful if she was hunting you too. You weren't friends."

"Just tell me where she is." I was getting angry now, "I know she's not dead. I checked the beach already."

"We wouldn't leave a hunter on the beach. That's so the world knows that we're still cleaning it for our creator. Making the world how it was before her. Why would we want trash destroying the beauty?"

"Your creator is dead." I said, "I helped kill her. She was easy. A werewolf is more of a challenge then she was." I pushed my hand under his chin, making it easier to begin slicing through his neck, "Where's the hunter? I won't ask again."

"The lab. Good luck."

I didn't care what that meant. In one motion, I sliced clean through his neck. The blood splattered on my face and across the window of the truck. I wiped a hand across my face, really only smudging the blood instead of removing it. I squatted down and went through the pockets on the Jefferson's body, finding kis keys and a wallet with a decent amount of money in it, I assumed from the drug selling. It would keep Ketch and I from being broke for a while. I pocketed the money and stood, turning back towards my car. I opened the driver's door but didn't get in.

"Arthur!" I yelled, watching as he silently emerged from the shadows a few feet away. "You are way too good at that."

"I've been trained since I was a boy, love," he replied, coming to get into the car. "The lab, huh? What did he mean by that?"

"I haven't the faintest," I muttered, getting into the car. Ketch followed after me. I glanced in the rearview mirror and caught Ali with green tinted skin. "You alright?" I asked, turning in my chair to get a better look at her.

"Y-you-you..." she stuttered, her eyes set dead ahead to where the truck was. "Did you-"

"Ali, deep breath," Ketch instructed, now turned back in his seat. "He was the monster that made all of those people wash up on the beach. If he wasn't killed, then more would have shown up. Do you understand?"

"I-I understand..." She still looked like she was going to be sick though. "But how do you make yourself do that? How do you live after? Do you not feel guilt?"

"Not when he would have killed us," I answered back softly. "It's not easy. It never has been and never will be, but sacrificing yourself to save many others is what it means to be a hunter. You have to do everything to protect those fortunate enough to not know about our world."

She nodded and pulled Ketch's jacket closer around her. "Where do we need to go now?" she asked softly.

"I don't know," I replied. "He said your mom was at the lab, but that could mean anything."

"Have you never done anything with drugs? Watched anything about drugs?" Ali questioned from behind the collar of the jacket.

I thought for a moment. "No, not really. Ketch?" He shook his head. "Wasn't there a show called like... Making Good or something?"

"Breaking Bad," she corrected with a questioning look on her face.

"I don't watch much TV," I muttered, feeling a little like I had done something wrong.

"Well, the lab is where everything is made. If we can find where the drugs are made, then we find my mom."

I pulled my phone from my center console and found Carter's number, giving it a call. It was answered almost immediately.

"Please do not tell me you ditched the meet up." His voice was rushed and worried.

"I did not ditch the meet up," I replied. "But I do need your help with something."

"This better not be a normal thing with you," he grumbled. "What do you need?"

"The reason I needed to meet your dealer is because one of my friends got wrapped up in it and I've been trying to find her. Chris said she was at the lab. Do you have any idea where that is?"

He groaned. "You did not hear this from me. I don't even know why I'm fucking helping you." He sighed heavily. "There's an old school, out by the railroad tracks. It's abandoned. It's in the cafeteria. Do not," -there was a sharp emphasis on the word- "tell them I told you. They will kill me."

"I wouldn't worry about that too much." I said.

"What's that suppose-" I hung up the phone before he finished.

"The lab is an abandoned school out by the railroad." I said.

"I found it." Ali said, handing me her phone. The map on it was hovered over a spot a good six miles to the south.

"That was quick." I mumbled.

"It's on this website called The top 10 most haunted sites in Maine." Ali said, "It was pretty easy to find when you said abandoned school."

"I doubt it's still haunted if that's where they're hiding out though." I commented. "Either way let's be careful when we get there. Jefferson Starships are one thing, adding in ghosts is a whole nother."

"You might be faster than Sam," Ketch muttered, still seeming surprised at how quickly Ali had found the information.

I laughed a little. That gave me a good idea for another bet.

I held my arm out to stop the eager teen. I put a finger to my lips to keep her quiet before moving to the other side of the double doors of the old school's cafeteria. I caught Ketch's gaze and he gave a small nod. We both reached out and pushed one of the heavy steel doors open.

I stepped in first, gun up and ready, but the room looked pretty empty. There were several foldable plastic tables around the room, some with different sized containers with brightly colored powders, others had blenders and scales. Beakers, bunsen burners, empty chemical bottles strewn everywhere, and hundreds of loose pills over every surface.

"Mom?" Ali asked, running back behind one of the tables.

I lowered my gun and nodded towards the door. Ketch moved towards it, pulling one of the many tables in front of it in a type of very superficial barricade. It wouldn't hold long at all. I raced after Ali and to where a body was collapsed among the discarded chemical bottles.

I knelt down beside Elly's body and helped Ali push her onto her back. Her skin was pale and when I touched her forehead, it burned my fingers. "Ali, go get me a wet rag or something," I instructed. She nodded and left my side. I placed my fingers to her flushed skin and did my best to search out her pulse. It was faint and fluttering like a hummingbird's. I patted her face and she moaned, her head turning away from my hand. But I couldn't get much more of a reaction out of her. Ali passed me a wet bandana and I pressed it to Elly's head in a hope to help lower her body temperature, though I wasn't sure how much help it would be.

Bruising decorated her body like wallpaper patterns. One over her eye, several disappearing below the collar of her tank top, some down her arms and around her wrists where she had been bound, and I was sure there were more under her pants that I just couldn't see.

"Is she going to be alright?" Ali asked.

There was a loud crash and I jumped to see that the table in front of the door had been thrown aside and Ketch was leaning against the doors, trying to keep them closed from the horde of starships that were trying to get in.

"Sometime today love," he called over in a strained voice.

I glanced back over Elly and quickly tried to block her face from her daughter as blood began to run from her eyes. This wasn't good. I put my hand on her chest and closed my eyes, trying my best to restart her heart in hopes of helping her. It wasn't working. Whatever she had taken….it was like it was blocking out my healing abilities. I tried again to heal her in anyway I could. Bring down her fever, no. Stop the bleeding, nothing. Help her breathe, not even a little. I was losing her and I was beginning to freak out over it. I couldn't lose her. Not again.

"Kid I…" I stammered, not sure of what to tell her or how, "I'm not sure I can.."

"How do you do it?" she asked, dropping to her knees. There was a gunshot behind us and I glanced back to see Ketch aiming through one of the small glass windows that had broken from one of the monster's wraith spikes. We didn't have time for this. "Alex! Teach me how to heal my mom!"

"I don't know!" I wasn't lying. "I grew into it. No one ever told me how, I could just do it!"

She pushed me aside slightly and placed her hand to her mother's chest. "I just have to want it, right? Like transporting to wherever I want?" Tears were rolling down her cheeks.

I put my hand on her shoulder. "Even if you could." I said softly, "I don't think…"

She looked up at me with shining eyes. "Then make a deal with me. You can do that, can't you?"

"What?!" I was completely taken aback by her request.

"It was in the show. You can bring her back if I trade my soul, right?" She jumped at another gunshot.

"Yes, but that's a lifelong payment." I tried to reason with her. "I couldn't do that to her."

"Ladies, the slumber party needs to end!" Ketch called out after another crack.

"It's what you want anyways, right?" She laughed sadly. "A nephilim in your back pocket?"

"Ali…" I was running out of things to keep her from doing this. "I don't need your soul. I...I can't take it from you."

"Yeah, yeah. Some bullshit line about how my mom would be upset. Well, she won't be upset if I don't do this and I'd rather have her be mad at me than not have her at all. Make the deal, Alex."

I couldn't argue with her anymore. "You're sure about this?"

"Just make the deal!" She yelled at me, making me jump.

"Say what you want!" I yelled back finally giving in. We didn't have another option.

"I want my mom back!"

That was good enough. I grabbed her collar and pulled her into a kiss. It wasn't long but I had to give it to the girl, she was a good kisser. In a few seconds I heard Elly take a deep breath next to us and I pushed Ali away from me, she could tell her mother about the deal another time.

"Elly!?" I said, pulling her into my lap, "You stupid bitch!" I was nervously laughing at this point, using the cloth to wipe the blood from her face, "Why did you do something so stupid?!"

She was coughing and trembling against me. "I hate you."

My heart broke. I had just saved her life, and she still hated me. She had said it. She hated me. I had just risked two lives, and taken a soul to save her and all she could say was that she hated me. I could only feel the pain in my chest from her words. And her words echoed in my head.

"Oh.." Is all I could say.

I was pulled from her and to the door that had finally smashed open. Ketch was racing over and grabbed Ali's arm, pulling her form the floor. "Time to go. This place is going to go up any second.

"Leave me," Elly whispered softly, hidden in my chest.

I felt a flame light inside of me, dulling some of the numbness. "Your daughter did not just fuck up her life so you can die here, you selfish bastard," I hissed. I got to my feet, pulling her with me. Ketch scooped her still weak body up into his arms and she didn't fight against him.

I looked over at Ali as her own gun went off, hitting one of the starships in the knee and making him fall to the ground. She hadn't lied. She wasn't the best shot, but she still got the job done. I took her arm and pulled her with me, following Ketch towards another set of doors.

"You set up a bomb?" I questioned as we pushed outside.

"I had to do something while you were conversing," Ketch replied gruffly, heading in the direction of the car, after Ali took a nearby two by four and used it to jimmy the door shut.

"How long before it goes off?" I asked, pulling my keys from my pocket to unlock my car before we got to it.

"We got about a minute now," Ketch replied, resting Elly in the backseat with her daughter.

I started my car and as soon as Ketch's feet were in the car, I slammed on the gas, threw my car into gear and raced through the gravel road and over the railroad tracks, making the whole car shake before I finally hit asphalt. We only got a few feet down the road before a large explosion happened behind us.

The building ignited in a fiery ball of yellow flame, billowing outwards, escaping through the sections destroyed by the blast wave. The noise had reverberated over the sleepy town as efficiently as a thunder clap and by now the police department's finest would be on their way, siren's blazing.

I swerved as a blast of energy hit my car, and with a squeal of tires, gained control of the car again before racing down the road, way above the 35 miles per hour sign.

"How's she doing?" I asked with a deep breath of relief as I glanced in the mirror. I felt a kick to the back of my seat and I bit my lip with a nod. I would just have take that as a good.

No. I wasn't going to take that as good. I made a sharp right and screeched to a halt down a gravel and dirt road. I took a deep breath before trying to say anything, knowing if I didn't that it was just going to be a big mess of horribly mean words, and I was trying to make things better, not worse.

"Listen, El." I started, looking at her in the rearview mirror. "That was an utterly stupid and selfish thing to do. And you're right. I should've left you there to die. But I'm not going to because your kid needs you and I'm not going to leave her alone anytime soon." I took another deep breath, "So woman the fuck up and stop being so fucking selfish with your life because it's not just yours anymore."

"You think I took the drugs for fun?" she scoffed. "Fuck you."

"Fuck me?! You're the one who left your daughter alone in a whole new world to go on a suicide mission!" I felt the anger boiling up in me again, "Fuck you!"

"I want out of this car."

"I doubt you can walk yet, El. You're body is going to be working off those drugs for a while."

She grumbled something else and slouched into her seat, her arms over her chest. She was staring daggers at me with those fiery blue eyes. They had life back in them, rage.

"I'm taking you back to the bunker." I said, glaring back at her.

"Why? You know I'll just leave again. Why did you even come and find me at all? If I wanted to come back to the bunker, I would have."

"I came because Ali came to us. She found us because she was scared that you were dead somewhere and never coming back." I sighed and looked away from her, this was all my fault after all. Why should I be bringing her back? "Leave again if you want to, but I'm just going to help find you. Over and over again."

"Why the fuck would you want to?!"

"Because I love you, you psychotic bitch!" I threw the car into park and turned around in my seat. "Because I would go to the ends of the earth to make sure you're safe and happy!"

"Happy my ass!" She was leaning forwards now, hand on my head rest, strength finally coming back to her.

"I might have ruined something! I admit it!" I was exasperated. I didn't want to fight anymore. Why couldn't she just let me help her? Why did she have to be so headstrong? "I may have fucked up your marriage forever and I am so fucking sorry! But that does not mean that you get to abandon your daughter and the rest of your family to go play russian roulette with your life!"

"I can do whatever the hell I want. You are not the boss of me, Alex." But her voice had softened. Maybe she was finally seeing my point.

"Look at your daughter, damn it!" I hissed through my teeth. But Elly didn't. Maybe she was afraid of looking. Maybe she didn't want to see the tears that were silently rolling down Ali's cheeks as all she heard was that her mother didn't care about her. "You have no idea what she gave up for you. You have no idea what she went through to find you. You have no idea how hard her next few years are going to be. And it's all because of you. She did everything for you. So grow up and stop being a child."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Elly's voice had risen again. We were going back and forth and it was making me regret saving her more and more. "She doesn't need me! She's never needed me! She's never liked me, never wanted me! I'm just some lady who gives her rules that she doesn't fucking listen to. I do everything for her! Everything I have ever done has been for her and I have never once been thanked! I am done! It's time for me to get my life back!"

"She's sitting right there!" I yelled back, pointing at Ali who was still freely crying. "Tell her how much you love her!"

"She won't care! She never has!"

"She sold her soul to fucking save you! How could she not love you?!"

The car fell deathly silent and light left Elly's eyes as she finally turned to look at her daughter.

"She sold me her soul because she wouldn't leave you there to die." My own voice softened, now just telling rather than yelling. "If she didn't love you she would've never showed up at my bedside crying because you left her alone. If she didn't love you she'd have accepted her fate and left you alone to die." I looked at the heartbroken child, "She loves you more than I've ever seen a kid love their mother in this entire world."

The car remained silent until the sound of sirens reached our ears. I jumped as Ketch touched my leg, I'd been too caught up in yelling at Elly that I'd forgotten he was there. I looked into his cool silver eyes and knew that he was silently telling me it was time to move on before we got caught. I nodded, turned back in my seat, and put my car into drive.

There was no way we were going to make it back in one day, at least not with a healing Elly. She needed sleep and there wasn't a good chance that she would in the car. And the long drive had been completely silent and I was pretty sure that she and her daughter needed to talk. And it was my fault again. I should have let the kid tell her. I shouldn't have brought them here in the first place.

I pulled into the parking lot of the hotel we'd been staying at and helped Elly out of the car, even though she struggled against me I was still stronger than she was.

"I'm going to have Ketch man handle you, if you don't let me help you," I said under my breath.

I got her inside the door and let go of her, letting her fall forward and catch herself on the corner of a bed. I walked to the mini fridge and looked through it, pulling out the small bottles of alcohol. I slammed it closed and leaned against the wall as the others walked through the door, popping open one of the bottles and chugging it. The liquid was harsh and bitter. It left a fire in my throat but seemed to cool the anger that was still built up in me.

I glanced around at everyone as the room filled up. Ali had locked herself in the bathroom and I could hear the water running now. And Ketch was dropping bags on a corner and taking a seat in one of the chairs. And Elly was sitting on the corner of the bed with her head in her hands, her hair curtaining her face. I slammed back another one of the tiny bottles and frowned at how little there was in it. I needed more, much much more.

"I need a drink." I said, walking to the door. "Don't run away while I'm gone."

"You do not get to leave me," Ketch grumbled from where he sat. "You left me alone with Lucifer, you are not leaving me alone with her. Lucifer is predictable."

There was a laugh from Elly, but she didn't look up from where she was.

"I wouldn't imagine a night in a bar without you." I said, taking his hand and pulling him out the door with me, "Don't leave her alone again, El. She needs you." I said before the door closed.

"Should we really be leaving her alone? We don't even know if she's really suicidal or not," Ketch said as we started walking down the street.

"She'll be fine. If she tries anything stupid the kid will call us." I shrugged a little, "And I doubt she'll leave again, hoping the guilt trip worked for that."

Ketch rubbed the back of his head and sighed. "Did the kid really...?" He trailed off.

"Sell her soul?" I glanced at him, "Ya. She did. Hell of a kisser."

He gave me a sideways glance, but I couldn't quite read his eyes. "You let her?" he finally settled on.

"Not without a fight." I put my hands on my hips, "But she wasn't giving up until I made the deal."

"And you tried to heal her?"

I stopped and looked down at my hands, I remember feeling so useless in that moment. "Ya. And I couldn't do it. The drug was blocking me or something." I sighed. "I still feel so useless."

"The drug...? I've never heard of anything like that."

"Me either."

"And you're not useless."

I smiled at him, "Well of course you think that." I said, waving around the hand that had the ring on it, "You have to."

"Still wanting to marry me?" He gave a teasing exhale. "You sure?"

"Am I sure I want to marry a James Bond better clone? Hell ya." I started laughing, "You should be the one worried about wanting to marry me."

"I'm up for the challenge." He shot me a bright smile. "You can't scare me off that easily love. Plus, how many people can say they made love to a demon?"

"Both of my brothers." I laughed harder knowing that was all too true.

"Both of your brother's together could not make one full idiot."

I laughed harder and took his hand again. "The may be true but they did kill you once."

"I let them." He looked offended, but still had a smile on his face. "Would I have had the spell if that wasn't the plan?"

"Uh huh. And that's why you ran around as Alexander instead of just coming after them." I continued to tease.

"Now wait a moment. Do you really think-" He broke off as my phone rang and I gave an apologetic look as I pulled it from my pocket. If it was Sam or Dean I would just ignore it, but that wasn't the number staring back at me.

"It's the kid, something must have happened." I answered the call, putting the phone to my ear, "What's wrong?"

"I-I don't exactly know, but I think she's high. Maybe," Ali replied back.

"High?" I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Do you see any of those pills anywhere?"

"I saw her take something. I thought it was just medicine, but she's being weird. I don't see anymore at all."

"Being weird how?"

"She's overly happy? I don't know. I just know it isn't normal." She sighed. "Come help me, please."

"We're not that far away. We'll be back in a few minutes." I said, looking at Ketch before starting to walk back the way we'd came. "Don't let her take anymore."

"I wasn't planning on it."

I hung up the phone and started to walk a little faster.

I pushed open the door and immediately stopped, causing Ketch to run into me. What I saw made me question ever thinking it was a good idea to leave them alone. Ali and Elly were locked in a fight, Ali trying to wrestle a small bottle out of Elly's hands. There was yelling and hair pulling and arm bending and uncontrollable laughter from Elly. I couldn't believe it had fallen this far in the last five minutes.

"What the fuck is going on?!" I yelled, causing their fight to come to a screaming halt. It wasn't long lived though.

"Give me the pills," Ali ordered, trying to reach for the bottle again, but Elly held it out of her grasp.

Ketch moved passed me and into the room, easily snatching the bottle from Elly's hand and tossing it to me. I caught it and looked over the clear bottle with several colorful pills. Several were odd shapes as well. Things like shields and hearts and stars and others were simple circles with smiley faces on them and several were just rectangles.

I looked up to see Ali straightening herself and flopping onto the edge of the bed with a breathless huff. Ketch took Elly's arm and easily helped her from the floor as she laughed. She used the palms of her hands to push her messy blonde hair from her face only to have it fall back into her dilated eyes.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I asked her. "We just got you away from that shit. Did your daughter's soul mean that little to you that you used again? You're totally addicted, aren't you?"

She just kept laughing. Overly happy. "I was crashing. I needed a bump."

"You need to get off of this shit." I said, "I'm throwing it in the gutter."

"No!" She bounced around in a small pout. "They're mine!"

"They're dangerous and I'm not letting you have anymore." I started walking towards the bathroom. I was going to flush these before she could take anymore. She was going to kill herself. I had saved her, not made her indestructible.

"Give them back." She tried to move towards me, but Ketch swiftly caught her up and wouldn't let her go.

"Make her watch if you have to." I said as I dumped the pills into the toilet bowl and flushed them. "There, all gone."

"Alex!" she shouted, fighting against Ketch's hold weakly and loosely as if her body were jello. "Give them back."

"Nope!" I marched back to her, "They're gone. This is your last high. I'd say enjoy it but I really don't want you to."

"I don't want to be sober," she grumbled, pushing at Ketch's hand on her wrist.

"Elly, this is no way to act in front of your daughter," I shot back harshly. "You told me you hated drugs."

"I did. I do. They doped me up when they found out I was a hunter. Give them back Alex. Or I'll fuck your dead boyfriend and find some more."

"They're gone, El." I waved my ringed finger in front of her face, "And good luck with that last part."

"Oh that's sweet. Real sweet." She looked up at Ketch who honestly just looked annoyed and tired of being a bodyguard. "Didn't stop you, did it?" She had completely stopped fighting against Ketch and was now leaning into him. "Arthur and I can have some fun. It's only fair, right?"

I rolled my eyes, getting annoyed with her myself. Whatever they'd done to her, or whatever she'd done to herself, wasn't healthy and she wasn't going to let us help unless we forced it on her. "Just try to get some sleep." I said, emotionally exhausted myself. "Or I'll put you to sleep."

"Oh I'll get some sleep alright." Elly smiled a smile that made me nervous.

I watched as Elly spun in Ketch's arms, tiptoed up to kiss him, and stuck a hand down the front of his pants. Lucky for me, he was quicker to react than I was and before I knew it she was on her ass on the floor.

"That's it!" Ketch said, hands in the air, "I'm getting my own room. I will see you ladies in the morning, good night."

With that he walked out the door and left the rest of us in silence. As soon as the door was closed I turned on Elly. She was smiling like an idiot, completely happy with what she'd done.

"I'm done with this shit, El." I grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to her feet. "You are staying in this bed all night and we are taking you back to the bunker tomorrow." I shoved her on the bed opposite of her daughter. She glared at me. "And if you leave that bed at all, I will tie you down and so help me god. I would kill you if your daughter and I didn't love you so goddamn much."

Elly didn't say anything. She sat herself up against the headboard, arms crossed over her chest, her face flushed either from all of the excitement or the drugs. Maybe a mixture of both.

I sighed and sat in one of the chairs, rubbing at my eyes and the bridge of my nose as a headache began to set in. "Ali, go find Ketch."

"But he-"

"I don't want you in this room right now. This is no place for you. He will be more than happy to share his room because if he isn't then we will have words after your mother and I are done here."

Ali hesitated, but got to her feet, still wrapped up in Ketch's jacket, and left the room into the early night air. The door closed behind her and a thick and tense silence fell over the room, a darkness radiating off of Elly.

Anger. It was etched into every inch of her skin. There was a torment in her head, you could see it in those clouded blue eyes. And then there was a tenseness in her muscles. Her arms were held tightly over her chest, having caused more hurt than her words ever had.

I hadn't believed that she would ever in a million years do something like that to me. How badly had I broken her? What had happened after Lucifer left her? Had she been left in a depression? Sam and Dean never mentioned anything about it. They said that she was doing alright. Had they been lying?

"Look, El." I sighed, we had to start somewhere. "I'm sorry about what happened, I don't know what made me do it." She kept her head turned away from me, her eyes towards the window that had its curtains closed. After another moment of silence, I bit my bottom lip in thought. She wasn't going to be easy to get through. And now with more drugs in her system, I wasn't sure if maybe it was them that was making her act like this. It was possible that as soon as she was sober she would just be sad. And I could understand why. "Did you see the message I left you?"

Again, silence. She did look like she was trying very hard not to speak though. As if she wanted to say something, but her mouth had been wired shut.

I stood and walked towards her, placing a finger on her forehead. "Relax." I spoke calmly. I watched as her eyes closed and her body relaxed. Yet she still didn't say anything. "Ok. Well, you might not like what comes next but I'm not going to sit here and get ignored all night." I closed my own eyes and pictured myself inside her head. The memory was a little difficult to find, but I was sure it was just the drugs making it so everything was a jumbled mess instead of neatly organized. But eventually I did find the memory I wanted.

Everything was blurred and bright, moving in an emotional hazy rush. I watched as Elly's hands shook as she watched my video. I could feel her heart shatter through the whole room. There were so many emotions swirling around her so quickly that I wasn't sure if I could pin any single one down and name it.

"And I'm….I'm just so sorry, El," my voice said in tears through the little speaker on the phone.

Her shaking became uncontrollable and she shot up from the bed. She chucked the phone with all of her might against the wall, and let out a pained scream, tears streaming down her face. And it hurt. God, it hurt to watch her grab at her hair. It hurt to watch her crumble to the floor. It hurt to hear her sob as she curled up, clutching herself into as small a shape as she possibly could. It hurt to see how much I had hurt her. And it fucking hurt to see her pretending.

She played happy so well it was scary. The swirling tornado inside of her, masked by a smile that everyone believed. A smile that I would have believed if I had been present. You would have never known the mosaic of pain she hid. She was flawless.

I pushed deeper, finding that night she found Lucifer and I locked at the lips. I found them fighting, her spitting venom and him crying as he tried to explain. I didn't know it was possible for him to cry, but the more I saw the more I knew I had destroyed something good. I had destroyed love. I pushed again, going forward until I found the days following my message. They were filled with a numbing routine, one that consisted of barely getting out of bed and not eating. I could hear Ali calling for her mother, but getting no response until the day Elly left out of nowhere.

Ali had entered the main room of the bunker and given a confused look at the plate of food that had been made for her. Elly came in from the kitchen, wiping her wet hands on her pants.

"Good morning, Alex. You sleep well?" Ali simply stared in disbelief, unable to answer. It made me wish I knew what had been going through her head as well. Her mom was finally out of bed for the first time in days. Cooking. Smiling. Kind. Loving. Mother. "I found a case out of town that's gotten a little out of hand," Elly explained as she grabbed a bag that was on one of the tables and slung it over her shoulder. "I'll be gone for a day or two. If you need anything, Sam is just a phone call away. Can you handle me being away for a moment?"

"I-I guess so?" The young girl took a seat at the table in front of the plate. "Where's dad again?"

"I told you Alex," Elly sighed. "We had a fight. He's gone away for a bit."

"You mean you made him leave," Ali accused.

I could feel a course of anger fly through Elly. It was like she knew her daughter was right but wanted to be mad at her for it all the same. That was followed by an immediate painful sadness that I had never felt before, the only way to describe it was like being shot in the heart multiple times and living to tell the tale. It made my head spin, my stomach churn. No wonder Elly had been sleeping on the bathroom floor, when she could sleep, for access to the toilet. She had been sick this whole time.

Elly gave a small smile and moved over to her daughter. She pulled Ali's head into her chest in a hug and placed a kiss to her daughter's head. "Stay here. Call Sam if anything happens. I love you." She placed another kiss on the girl's head, ignoring the annoyed feeling from the teen. "I'll be back in a few days."

She really had had every intention of coming back. She hadn't left planning to just stay gone. She just needed to get away for a bit. It was so clear in her head, heart and soul. She just needed time to herself to feel normal again.

I pulled from her head and stumbled back slightly. Elly was breathing hard, her face scrunched up in pain. Her skin was flushed and she was sweating.

"It's hot, Alex," she whispered.

I placed a hand to her head that was burning up. "You shouldn't have taken those pills," I replied back, heading over to the mini fridge. I pulled out a water bottle and passed it to her. She opened it and drank some before placing the bottle against the inside of one of her wrists. Even high, she was able to pull herself through the fog enough to be smart. The artery would pull the cool blood back through her body. "You didn't come here to die, did you?"

"Of course not, Alex." She sighed deeply, licking her lips. "I wouldn't do that to Ali. I'm not stupid."

"Are you willing to talk to me now?" I sat on the edge of the bed beside her and tried to take her hand. She pulled it from my grasp and I sighed. I'd never get her back. There was no way I ever would. But I would go to the ends if the earth to make sure she still knew how much I loved her and how sorry I was. "What happened when you got here, El?"

"Normal hunt. I was driving here, stopped at a cafe for breakfast, the barista commented on my tattoo and as I got outside I was bagged."

"Can I...?" I motioned to her and she rolled her eyes, bit leaned back, closing her eyes and relaxing. I hesitantly reached out and touched her forehead again, pushing through until I found the memory.

The cash register dinged as Elly pushed her money and tip across the counter and her coffee was handed to her.

"I like your tattoo. I've never seen something like that before," the girl at the counter commented. She was young. It must have been a Saturday or she would have been at school.

"Thank you," Elly replied kindly with a smile that was sunny. It felt real and it didn't feel like it was pretend. "It's from some old TV show from when I was younger." She laughed. "Have a good day."

Elly turned from the counter and left the cafe, pulling a set of keys from her pocket and crossing the street to where a motorcycle was waiting. That was Ketch's bike. I had found it and moved it to the bunker. She had taken it? I didn't know she could ride one. But there was a lot I didn't know.

She didn't get very far across the street before two men left the cafe as well, following after her. One of them I recognized as Chris from the drug trade.

There was a syringe pushed into her neck and drained into her bloodstream and then a bag was shoved over her head. I could feel her grow dizzy before she blacked out.

There were small snippets of clarity that only lasted for a moment or two, one being of the gas station clerk, before they were washed away again.

And when she came fully to, she was in the cafeteria, tied up and tossed into a corner.

Chris walked over to her and knelt down beside her, dragging her closer by her hair. She winced. "Here's what we're going to do, hunter," he said with a cocky smile. "We're going to use you to test our new drugs. Doesn't that sound fun?"

Elly didn't answer, just glared with those piercing blue eyes. Chris chuckled, yanking her hair back and making her gasp.

"Don't be like that, sweetheart."

And I couldn't help her. I couldn't save her as the other came over and forced her mouth open, putting pills into her mouth. She struggled against them, but Chris quickly slapped a hand over her mouth, the other plugging her nose.

When her body grew weak, they finally released her and she gasped for air, coughing and sputtering.

She hadn't lied. They really had drugged her. Almost the whole time she had been gone, she had been drugged.

Why hadn't I been there for her? Watching as the days dragged on, forcing her every few hours to try more or different things because soon the ecstasy wasn't fun for them anymore. She wasn't reacting to the high. She wasn't entertaining enough.

And I stared in horror, through drug fogged memories, as she was hyped up with clear liquids through needles or with a gun to her head as she was forced to smoke or snuff powders of who knows what. And some things that they did to her were so blurred and distorted from her trying to forget that I was only left to guess at what they had done to her.

The drugs had to have been hard because the rest of the memories were spotty and blurred at best, almost impossible to make sense of.

And as I pulled myself from her head once again, I wanted to cry for her. She hadn't deserved any of this. She couldn't control it. And she was going to come crashing down hard. It was going to be fucking hell. But I'd be there with her through all of it.

"Alex, I need those drugs," Elly whispered, laying down and pulling a pillow to her bruised chest. "Please."

I took a deep breath and looked over her small form. It hadn't occurred to me, but she was thinner than she had been. How long had it been since she had eaten?

"No more drugs," I whispered, reaching out and carefully petting her hair. When she didn't fight or pull away, I moved a bit closer and continued to run my fingers over her hair.

"They made me withdrawal before giving me more. Please. Please give me the drugs. I'd rather be tortured by Asmodeus again."

I flinched at her begging. Was it really that horrible? What else had they given her?

"We are going to get through this together," I said softly. "And I will do my best to make sure you're comfortable."

"Please..." She curled up closer to me.

"How long has it been since you ate?" Maybe if I could distract her we could at least get through the next hour. She shrugged. "I could order something if you would like." She shook her head. "You need to eat something," I pressed gently.

"Can I tell Ketch something?" she asked in such a quiet voice that I almost didn't hear her.

"I don't think-"

"Please?"

I sighed and pulled my phone from my pocket. I dialed Ketch's phone and he picked up.

"Yes?" he sounded stressed, his voice tight.

"Is the kid ok?"

"Fine. She's asleep. What do you want Alex?"

I frowned at how harsh my name was said. It stung a little, though I knew it wasn't my fault. "She wants to talk to you."

"No."

"Arthur," I hissed. "Please talk to her."

"No, Alex."

I rolled my eyes and placed the phone to Elly's ear. "I'm sorry!" she blurted out. "I'm so sorry!"

I pulled the phone back and put it to my ear. The line was silent. "I'll talk to you tomorrow. I love you. Goodnight."

"Night," he said distantly.

I shoved my phone back into my pocket and got to my feet, pulling Elly with me. "Come on hun," I muttered. "We're going to get you showered and you can borrow some of my clothes. I'll order some pizza and we can watch a movie like old times."

I helped her stumble into the bathroom and just like all those years ago, I helped her undress. She wasn't as shy as she had been the first time, but her body looked the same as it had that night. There were bruises everywhere. Across her stomach that had stretch marks on it from being pregnant so long ago. There were fingerprints in her hips, so dark that they hid another tattoo that she had there. And then there were bite marks over her chest that faded into the purple bruising. Her back had nail marks down it, some still extremely fresh and open. And the bites and bruising continued down her legs.

"Elly, what did they do to you?" I asked breathlessly. What were in those destroyed images she wouldn't let me see?

She didn't reply, just turned on the shower and got in. Steam quickly filled the room and I rushed over, shoving my hand into the water. It was boiling. Far too hot. I quickly turned it down, but Elly didn't seem to like that I did.

"I need it to burn me," she whispered, turning it back up as hot as she had it. I swiftly turned it back down and watched as she sunk to the shower floor. "Alex, I need the feeling of them gone. Please! I feel so dirty!"

I stepped back, unsure of what to do. I was speechless. Completely lost for words. I gave in. There was nothing more I could do. Nothing to help her. I left the bathroom and closed the door behind me to let her be.

I paced the room several times before I finally pulled my phone from my pocket and found Lucifer's number. I called it and it immediately went to voicemail. I tried again with the same result.

"Lucifer, you need to come back," I said, my hand in my hair. "I-I don't know what to do. Elly's hurt. Badly. I think-I think..." I couldn't even say it, it was so horrible. It was the only conclusion I could come up with. "She needs you. Please! I-I don't think I can help her anymore. I don't know what to do."

I ended the call and sighed. I really didn't know what else to do. I called Ketch and he agreed to get me some medical supplies and then I ordered a pizza. And Ketch had returned and the pizza came before I finally decided that Elly had had enough time in the shower.

I knocked on the door before pushing my way into the steam filled, sauna like room. I turned off the water and knelt down beside Elly who hadn't moved. Her skin was red from the heat of the water and she was staring off into space.

I reached out a hand to her and touched her shoulder and she jumped as if I had woke her form a trance.

"Alex..." she whispered.

I helped her from the shower and passed her a towel and lead her out into the main room where I had clothes laid out for her.

At a snail's pace, she dried herself and went and sat on the bed. I went and sat beside her, pulling a bag of medicine and bandages to me.

She let me clean and put medicine on each bite mark and then she turned for me to look at her back.

I put more peroxide on a cloth and placed it to her back. She arched away from me with a gasp.

"It burns," she got out through clenched teeth.

"You don't want to get infected, do you?" I asked softly. "I can get you some pizza to take you mind off it if you'd like. You should really eat."

She shook her head and I bit my lip before going back to trying to clean her back. She squirmed and groaned and tried to move away from me, but I easily held her tired and weak body in place and eventually was able to start wrapping all of the nail marks.

I helped her dress and then made her eat a slice of pizza before she curled up in the bed, holding the blankets tightly around her.

I went and lied beside her, my eyes widening as she snuggled in as close as she could to my side, her head coming to rest on my shoulder.

Tears were quietly rolling down her cheeks as she hid her face against me. "Why-why didn't you leave me there?" she asked through her tears.

"I-I couldn't," I answered softly, pulling her body closer to mine and holding her tightly.

This poor broken girl. I understood now why she wanted to be left there to die. It was like somebody reached inside to her soul, and was forcing it to slowly die.

And I could feel her fading. It was like she wasn't her anymore. Her body wasn't even her body anymore. It belonged to them. And there were so many emotions swirling around her. She was angry, confused, terrified, scared, powerless. Why do people do horrible things?

"You should have left me."

"Never." I pressed a kiss to her forehead. It was going to be a long night. "I'm never going to leave you alone again. I am so sorry about everything. I've done a lot of things that I would understand if you never forgave them. But I am never going to leave you alone ever again. I'm here for you."

She shook her head and somehow curled further into me, her shoulders heaving as she cried.

"No one is ever going to hurt you ever again."