As our weekend ended, I was once again staring out my homeroom window, seated in front of Haruhi, who had spent the entire class period discussing her next big plans for our movie.

"Kyon, what do you think about a scene with a hijacked plane-"

"That plane must be pretty ripped."

No response. I thought it was funny. "-A hijacked plane that crashes into the ocean. You know, like that one movie?"

I think it's absolutely insane.

"It's absolutely insane. You nearly took out ten people with just four wheels. I'd hate to see what you'd do if you had wings."

"Tch. You just don't know how to have fun."

"No, I know how to prolong my life."

"How about a racecar? We could ask one of the racers to lend us their car for a day! That'll definitely get people looking!"

"At the 20-car pile-up or the high school girl who caused it? Besides, we already have a car chase."

"Well, I'm the only one putting up suggestions. I don't see you coming up with any ideas."

"How about a break? All we've done is film for the last two weeks. Aren't there other club activities you'd rather be doing than this?"

I heard Haruhi's head hit the desk for the tenth time that day. "Ugh, but then I'll get bored with the movie and I'll forget all about it. I need to make sure those big studios in Hollywood know this is a big deal."

"It's not like we have a time limit. We could work on this until our third year. In fact, many great films took over two years to finish, and that's not counting editing, re-takes, setbacks, and lots of other stuff. If you want a studio to seriously consider your work, you're gonna have to show them that-"

"If I wanted a lecture, I'd pay attention in class."

"Well, the point still stands. We can take as long as we like. We could put it off until after we graduate and then finish it."

"…do you really think we'd still be together?"

"Hmm?" I turned around. Haruhi was looking pensively out the window. Her voice had become much quieter.

"What if we don't have all the time in the world? Someone could move away tomorrow without notice. Just like Asukura. What if Koizumi suddenly transfers to another school? Or Nagato goes off to some foreign college? Don't you have plans after high school?"

Nope. "I haven't given it much thought since you'd probably force us to go wherever you went anyway. Wouldn't you?"

Haruhi looked back at me, her eyes finally drawn away from the window. She stayed silent for a while before a smile cracked its way onto her face.

"Obviously. Just testing you." There she is. Save the deep thoughts for the philosophers. Or someone more responsible than me. The conversation turned back towards the mundane for the rest of the period. At least, mostly mundane.

"So, you think Mikuru would date a girl?" Haruhi was a bit eager to hear my response. Her enthusiasm left when she looked back at me.

One can only hope. Immediately my mind flooded with-

"Answer the question, weirdo. And get that stupid smile off your face."

"I mean, I can imagine it."

"You would imagine it, pervert. Either way, I bet more people would watch our movie if there was a relationship like that in it."

Undoubtedly. "What about Koizumi?"

"What about him?"

I snorted. "My thoughts exactly."

On that note, our chat was over, and we waited for the class to end. I honestly think Asahina wouldn't be too against it. Her and Tsuruya kinda give me that vibe. I wouldn't be too surprised if it turned out that way. Disappointed maybe. I wonder if Haruhi and Nagato could go that way.

"Would you date Nagato?"

"I guess. Yuk-What?!" Her arm slipped from underneath her as she barely caught herself from slamming into the desk. She stood up and yelled right at me.

"Don't just ask those kinds of questions out of nowhere!"

It was quiet for a few seconds, after which she realized her outburst had garnered the attention of the entire classroom, as well as the teacher, who fortunately thought her anger stemmed from a question he had apparently asked.

"Uh, I didn't think the problem was too difficult. Is the rest of the class also having trouble with this type of equation?"

The class began voicing their opposition to the teacher.

"Yeah, why are we using all these letters? I thought this was math, not English Literature."

"Why are there smaller numbers over the bigger ones?"

"What's this slope-intersection or whatever? Am I learning to drive?!"

The teacher seemed flustered. "I suppose we could do a supplementary lesson tomorrow. I do apologize if my explanations are hard to follow…"

Haruhi sat back down, grateful for the misunderstanding, but still annoyed with me. "Don't just suddenly ask weird questions like that! And I'm not gonna dignify such a question with an answer!"

"So…yes then?"

She didn't answer. "Interesting. So, you'd be fine with another girl?"

"I don't see where you're going with this." She huffed, annoyed with me.

I put my hands in the air. "Just asking."

"If they're exciting enough, sure."

"If they're exciting? You are kinky, aren't you?" I teased.

The bell rang at that moment and Haruhi left me behind, not waiting for me to catch up. That was pretty funny.

Taniguchi walked over to me with an air of confidence, which meant bad news for me. I packed my things faster.

"Glad I wasn't the only one who didn't understand, but man, did she scare the hell out of us."

"Do you ever understand?" He flashed a smile at me.

"Say Kyon, not that I care at all, believe me I have a lot of stuff planned for today, but are you guys filming by any chance?"

"Thought you wanted nothing to do with that anymore."

"Oh I don't, but that crazy green haired chick you hang with is totally my type!"

Tsuruya would totally clobber you if she heard that. "I thought you had a date the other day. Did she dump you already?"

He looked at me with a confused expression. "Date? What date?"

"The one that got cancelled because your street was blocked off?"

He pondered for a minute. "Oh! Her? It was mutual. We needed some space. We were way too hot for each other, so it wasn't fair for everyone else."

"Tch."

"Seriously bro! Tell me if that girl comes with you guys, alright?"

I held back a laugh. "Of course. In fact, I'll even ask what she thinks of you."

He leaped into the air, nearly falling over into me. "Thanks, Kyon, you're the best!" He left the classroom, bounding like a moron. I'll tell her alright. I can't wait to see her lose it over this.

As I walked into the clubroom, I saw that Asahina hadn't arrived yet. Koizumi was also missing, and I kinda hoped it stayed that way. Haruhi wasn't here as well, but that was expected. What I didn't expect was to see Tsuruya in there. She appeared to be having a one-way conversation with Nagato. I shut the door behind me as I listened in on her.

"-so she totally thinks that some sort of plane hijacking scene would be perfect but then how would we get one at such short notice? Then there's the type of hijackers as well. What would their motives be? Money? Power? Oh, and she also wants to re-shoot some battle scenes, but this time using real fire and stuff, which was my idea of course! But Haruhi says Kyon would never go for it because he's a little- Kyon! What's up!"

She tackled me against the door, still talking a hundred miles a second. "Ow! Ms. Tsuruya, that hurts!"

"Haruhi wants to know if you're okay with throwing Mikuru in a lake again! Don't worry, she'll be wearing some scuba gear we got from this nice old man across from my house, so she won't be too cold! Of course, she'd still get a little wet! It's also a bit revealing to make sure she maintains her appeal! Wait, Mikuru won't be able to show up anyway! What if we got Nagato some more revealing outfits? And they'd be part of a transformation which uses cool effects to change costume? Hey! How about we go buy some more fireworks for cool special effects in the fight scenes? Whaddya say?"

She finally stopped talking, giving me a chance to speak. "Okay, first off, we're not buying fireworks ever again. Secondly, Asahina's not going to be thrown into another lake. Lastly, why won't she be showing up?"

I was suddenly thrown from against the door violently as Haruhi pushed it open, knocking me and Tsuruya onto the ground.

"Sorry I'm late! I just had to get some…" Haruhi stared at me. It was now that I realized that we were in the most suggestive position possible.

Tsuruya seemed oblivious. "Hey Haruhi! Kyon was asking me about Mikuru!"

Haruhi began glaring daggers at me. Koizumi walked in from behind her at just that second. "Oh my! Were you two in the middle of something?"

This is why I hate you.

"Koizumi you- Haruhi, this isn't what it looks like! You opened the door so hard and I fell down-"

"PERVERT!" The last thing I remember was a size nine heel coming straight down onto me.

"Incredible. She left a perfect cast of her shoe imprinted on your face. I can even see the branding." Koizumi was enjoying this. Tsuruya hadn't even stopped laughing to breathe yet.

"Haha, let's all laugh at my misery."

"Well deserved misery. It's not right to force yourself onto someone like that, Kyon."

"I already told you! It wasn't like that!"

Koizumi chuckled. "I know. You're so easy."

"Save your lies for someone who'll believe 'em!" Haruhi was sitting at her desk, doing something on her computer. "And where's Mikuru? This isn't going to work without her! I still need to get the posters ready."

Tsuruya had been cackling to herself for some time, finally stopping when Asahina's name came up. "Oh, Mikuru's in some contest for the calligraphy club! They're going up against the art club from Kouyouen Academy! She won't be able to make it for a few days. She told me to tell you guys last week, but I forgot!" She stuck her tongue out like a child.

Haruhi groaned loudly while leaning back in her chair. "Come on! I had a whole lot of cool stuff planned too! Just my luck. I thought I told her to quit that stupid club when we first formed the brigade!" She looked around the room, then gave a huff. "Whatever, I guess we'll have to put filming on hold for a while." Thank God.

Tsuruya resumed her conversation with Nagato while Haruhi went back to whatever it was she was doing on the computer. A bit too eagerly. "You seem to be having fun. What are you doing over there?" I got up and walked over to her.

"Nothing! Mind your business! Executive eyes only!" She moved the monitor away from my direction.

"Show me what you're doing!" I wrestled it out of her hands to find myself greeted with the pictures of Asahina in her maid outfit that I had moved. "Where'd you find these? I deleted them!"

Haruhi looked at me with a deadpan expression. "Seriously? Not only was it on the desktop, but the folder itself was called Mikuru. How could anyone not find them?"

"Yeah, but that's…true I guess." I sighed, cursing my own stupidity. I turned my attention back towards the photos. They were actually in a digital editing software. It looked like she'd been trying to edit some of the pictures.

"Kyon, check this out. I'm trying to move this maid outfit off her and put her in her waitress get-up, but it keeps grabbing the whole body."

"Well, you've outlined her entire body, so that's why. You have to cut it off at her neck and shoulders, so it doesn't drag everything else." I quickly did the job, being somewhat efficient at it after spending an all-nighter with the program. "There you go. Not too shabby, huh?" I was quite proud of my abilities to move clothes off of digital pictures of Asahina with ease.

It seemed Haruhi was impressed as well. "Can you do the same to these ones? I want a shot of her and Yuki in front of an explosion!"

"Sure! I just need to get a picture off the internet…Boom." You could tell it was edited, but with a few strokes here and there it would look pretty legit.

Haruhi was excited now. "Wow! You're not completely useless after all!" I felt my eye twitch. "Teach me how to do that stuff!"

"That'd take a while. I'd have to show you how to use the brush tool, the marker, the magic pen, the lasso, lots of stuff goes into it."

Haruhi pulled up a seat. "Not like we're filming today. And two people with these skills would be more efficient anyway."

Koizumi spoke up. "Uh, I don't want to interrupt, but what can I do?"

"Go on home. We've got most of your scenes filmed."

He has about seven minutes of screen time and he's supposed to be the love interest. "Besides, Mikuru won't be here today so we couldn't do anything fun anyway."

"Well, if it's alright with you, I'll see you guys later." He gathered his stuff. "Ms. Nagato, will you be joining me on this fine day?"

Nagato, who'd still been listening to Tsuruya ramble on, looked up towards Koizumi, then to me and Haruhi.

"No."

"Oh, that hurts! I'm not that off-putting, am I?" He said jokingly. Yes, you are.

"It has nothing to do with your presence."

Koizumi chuckled. "I figured. Well, I'll see you guys…tomorrow?" He looked at Haruhi, who looked away from the computer when the room went silent.

"What? Oh! Uh, probably not until Mikuru gets back, which would be…"

Tsuruya answered for her. "Friday! The competition ends Wednesday but she thinks she'll be sick afterwards."

Thinks she's gonna be sick. She's the only one who could say that and be genuinely telling the truth. Koizumi closed the door as he left, leaving the rest of the members, along with Tsuruya in the clubroom. Which reminds me.

"Haruhi, practice with this face for a second. Use the brush tool and get rid of as many of her freckles as you can. Also, try to get rid of her bangs. Make her look as pretty as possible. Remember, no huge strokes. Just quick, light clicks."

She eagerly snatched the mouse out of my hand. "Easy! She'll look like a whole new person!"

"Alright, whatever you say." I got up and walked towards the door. "Hey Tsuruya, could I talk to you for a sec? Outside?"

"But of course!" She skipped out the door and made a right, heading for the stairs. I followed behind her.

"So, you know that creep, Taniguchi?"

"Sorry, I swear I could've heard you say you wanted to date him. Must've had something in my ear."

"That's what I said! He's just like you but somehow manages to be a lot weirder. Plus, he thinks he's so funny!"

"Wha-you-is that supposed to be a compliment?"

"Also, no other guys ever ask me out cause they're too afraid of me! With good reason of course! They're all so scummy! Usually, if a guy asks me out, I'd tear their head clean off!"

Okay first off, why? Secondly, "Heh, which one?"

"Huh?"

"Nothing." I quickly responded, thankful she hadn't understood my remark.

"Anyway, I've got to go join Mikuru! Bye Kyon!" She skipped down the stairs, leaving me standing there.

I shook myself out of my daze, wondering how she had concluded that Taniguchi was worth her time. I started towards the clubroom when I was nearly tackled from behind.

"Kyon! Buddy I love ya! You know that! You're the greatest wingman on Earth! I thought that was an odd way of talking about me, but it worked! How can I make this up? Tell you what, I'll give you my test answers for a month!"

No thanks, I'm already failing. "You were listening in?"

"Wanted to make sure you didn't mess up. You had me worried there Kyon, but I know to never doubt you again! See ya bud!" He took off, following the same route Tsuruya had taken, singing like a dying whale.

Well, at least this'll give me some entertainment. Inevitably that's gonna crash and burn, but that should be fun to watch.

"Kyon! I did it!" Haruhi called from the room. I completely forgot about her.

"That was fast! Be right there." I went back inside and walked over to the computer where she was standing proudly. "Told ya! A whole new person. Can't even recognize her, right?"

I barely stifled a laugh. "Well, I'll tell you one thing, I can't recognize her, that's for sure." Where an attractive woman's face used to be now stood a swirl of color and blurry facial features. Smudge lines from her lips to her eyes were everywhere and her ears were nowhere to be seen.

"Hey! It's not that bad. It's supposed to look cool." Haruhi pouted as she sat down in her chair, unamused.

"Well, we're going for a realistic look, not 'cool'. Let's try again." I kept undoing everything Haruhi had done until her face once more looked human. "Don't change the brush size. You're supposed to be focusing on the freckles."

Very slowly, she moved the mouse over to the left cheek, clicking each freckle one by one. "Alright, now try to get the ones by her nose."

She carefully dragged the cursor over, highlighting too much skin, and released. The nose immediately vanished, making me nearly fall out of my chair laughing. Haruhi became even more annoyed.

"This is stupid! I want explosions and stuff! It's not even that funny." She said, making sure not to look at the screen when she said that. "You know, that's what you look like."

I got into my seat, still recovering. "Aw come on. That's not very nice."

"I am not nice."

"Well, if that's me, then this is you." I increased the brush size and clicked the entire face. It became a mishmash of skin and hair.

"Oh yeah! If that's me then- gimme that!" She reached for the mouse as I held it high over my head. "Kyon, stop it! Give me!"

"Gimme this, gimme that. So rude!" I stood up to raise it higher.

"Kyon, stop it! I'm trying to learn how to edit! Stop being stupid!" She futilely jumped several times trying to reach.

I unplugged the mouse from the computer tower and walked to the other side of the room. "Well, if you can't ask for it politely, I guess we're done for today."

She stood behind the desk, looking at me with an irritated look on her face. "I'm not going to chase you."

I shrugged my shoulders and stood there for a minute, watching her. She whistled for a little while, staring out the window, seemingly uninterested in me anymore. Suddenly, she bolted towards me, catching me off guard. I barely evaded her as I ran behind the table again.

"Good try, but only being nice will get you this."

She smirked. "Yeah right! Nice guys never finish!"

I had to wrap my head around her butchered phrase. "That's not how it goes and that's not what that means. That's if a guy is-"

"I know what it means! It means that you're a loser!" She jumped across the table and tackled me onto the ground, wrestling for the mouse which she had somehow still not gotten a hold of. I tried to get up at the same time she bent over me to grab it, causing our heads to butt.

"Ow!" We both cried in unison. We then realized how close we had gotten in proximity. Her body was out over mine, her hands on either side of my head. Similar to me and Tsuruya's earlier situation. She was panting quite heavily from all the running.

"Well, now who's the pervert?" I scoffed.

"Still you, since you're the one thinking about it."

"But you're… it's…forget it." I can't ever win against her. I try to scoot out from underneath her, only to be blocked by her arm. I could feel her panting on my face. I could see the smallest tinge of red on her cheek.

"Haruhi, wanna get up?"

"Depends. Ready to admit defeat?" She leaned down slightly, staring at me intensely.

My face began to grow flush. "Seriously, how far are you gonna go for a mouse?"

"We'll find out."

A book fell on top of her head, which slid directly on my face. I recoiled and got up from underneath her. I looked up to see Nagato's blank face looking down at us from the side of her chair.

"My apologies. The book slipped." She said.

"Apparently." Haruhi huffed, clearly annoyed at the timing of Nagato's mishap.

"Eh, don't sweat it. It's about time to leave anyway."

"Oh no." Haruhi grabbed the mouse from the floor, which was now a broken mess. Probably from the impact when Haruhi knocked me to the ground. "Now look what you've done. You're buying a new one before tomorrow."

I sighed. "Of course, I am."

"It better have even more buttons."

"Why would it need-"

"Because I said so! That's why." She stuck her tongue out. "I'll go with you, so you don't buy any useless junk."

"Whatever you say, your majesty."

"Hmm…I like it! Queen Suzumiya. Actually no! Lord… wait! From now on, my name is Super Lord Director Queen of the S.O.S Brigade Haruhi Suzumiya!"

"Can I just call you Haruhi for short?"

"Hmph. Megalord Suzumiya approves. Now come on! Those look like rain clouds, and if I get wet, there's gonna be blood on your hands, mister!"

With that, she bolted out the room, leaving me and Nagato alone.

"Hyper as ever. So, Nagato-"

"I consciously dropped the book on top of you."

"I figured. Was it something to do with the Data Integrity thing?"

"No. The Entity of Space and Data Integr-" I held up a hand to stop her before she throws anymore big words at me.

"Just Entity will do." Save us some time on that front.

"Okay."

We stood in silence as I waited for her to go on. "Nagato? You were saying?"

She waited a few more seconds before speaking again. "The Entity does not see it safe to allow Haruhi Suzumiya to engage in sexual activities as of yet, due to the chance her offspring could inherit her abilities and cause unchecked destruction upon this world."

I was trying to wrap my head around three different things here. The first being Haruhi having children, the second being their powers ravaging the planet, and thirdly…

"Sexual activities? Don't tell me she's…" I trailed off, not wanting to finish that sentence. The thought of her doing whatever with someone else is unbearable.

"No. Until now she has not shown specific attraction to any one person with this intensity."

"Oh, thank the gods. We can still rest easy." I breathed a sigh of relief. "I'll make sure no one makes any moves on her, don't worry about that."

"You do not understand. She has begun to show attraction to-"

My phone began to ring, and I, already knowing who it was, stupidly answered it. "What are you doing!? If you're not down the stairs in thirty seconds you're dead!" She hung up abruptly. Typical.

"Sorry about that, you were saying?"

Nagato looked downwards. "It is not important." She got up and left the clubroom without barely a goodbye. I followed her towards the stairs, where Haruhi had angrily marched up.

"There you are! You're in big trouble!"

"Yeah yeah, just wait a sec. Naga-" I turned towards the stairs, only to see nothing but the shadows of raindrops from the window.

"Nagato? She didn't come this way. More importantly, look! You're so slow it's already started to rain! Hope you like getting wet cause I'm not sharing an umbrella this time! I came prepared." She grabbed a jacket from her bookbag and flaunted it in front of me. "Are you listening?"

I checked for Nagato one last time before I gave up and turned my attention towards the yelling girl in front of me.

"Relax, I already have an umbrella anyway." I took it out and started to unfold it.

"Ahh! Stop!" She knocked it out of my hand onto the floor.

"What?! I'm just opening it!"

She gestured around us. "Inside? How dumb are you?"

"Ha! Don't tell me you're superstitious, Haruhi." Please.

"I'm not superstitious!" She picked up my umbrella and headed off down the stairs.

I followed after her, lest I be left behind in the rain without any protection.

Haruhi turned around before exiting the building. "I'm only a little stitious!"