I found myself alone in the house when I returned. There was a note saying that they had headed to town and would be back by dinner. I sighed and searched the fridge for something to eat. One pie was still left and I was tempted to eat it, but with great reluctance I left it alone. Instead, I pulled out deli ham, lettuce, tomato, and mustard. Placing them on the counter, I went into the pantry and pulled out the marbled rye/pumpernickel loaf. Making the sandwich, my mind wandered off and made me think about Mom. I wanted to know if she was alright. If someone was looking out for her. Hoping that Jaha wasn't harassing her. I desperately wanted to call her and let her know what was going on, but of course that couldn't happen.

Finishing the sandwich and putting everything away, I took it to the dining room table and opened up my laptop. I automatically opened my email and smiled when I saw an email from my fan. I eagerly opened it up and reading it, I felt glad that my painting had such an effect on her. Then the sadness descended when I realized that my paintings didn't give me that same calmness. I wrote her back and impulsively I told her about my feelings in regards to my paintings. I sent it off and finished eating.

I walked back onto the back deck, sitting in a chair, and watched the work being done on the stable. I must have dozed off, because the next thing I knew, the doorbell was ringing and I woke up, startled and let out a small scream. The doorbell rang again and I shakily got up to answer it. My heart pounded as I neared it, but all fear fell away when I looked at the monitor by the door and saw who it was. I grinned wide as I opened the door and Raven was there. I immediately drew her in a hug as we squealed in delight.

She pulled back and searched my face. She smirked and raised an eyebrow when she saw my head.

"I thought you said you would never, ever shave your head," she said and ran her hand over the newly shaven side.

I closed my eyes at the pleasant sensation. When I opened my eyes, I shrugged and said, "I changed my mind. Things have not been going well for me lately."

Looking worried, she asked, "What's going on?"

I pulled her into the house and we sat down in the living room.

We turned to face each other and I looked down at my hands as I said, "I've started having nightmares. Bad ones. I've woken up screaming and to calm down, Nate or Bellamy have had to sleep with me. And every time I try to sketch the forest, the mill and pond show up, unbidden."

"Oh, Clarke," she said and drew me into a hug. "I'm so sorry, baby. What are you doing about it?"

She let me go and sitting back, I replied, "I'm just trying to distract myself enough that I don't think about it during the day. I'm afraid of picking up my sketch pad, but I did set up an appointment to see a psychiatrist. It's just so hard for me, every day. I know everyone's worried and that makes me angry. Rae, I'm scared. I can't even enjoy Italian food anymore. I don't feel like myself anymore and that's why I shaved the other side of my head. I feel alien, not comfortable in my own skin, even."

She nodded, sympathetically and wiped my tears away with her thumb. I shivered at her touch and she smiled slightly seeing it.

"I wish I could've left sooner," she said softly. "It was hard to leave without anybody knowing. I did stop by your mom's before I headed out. She sends her love and wanted me to tell you that she's hanging in there even though she misses you terribly."

"Thank you," I replied. "I've been worried about her."

She nodded and said, "I know, that's why I made sure to see her. Um, she gave me our hospital records. All of ours. She also gave me our birth certificates, revised birth certificates. I'm sorry to say that Jaha had our birth parents and place of birth removed from the certificates. He's completely removed us from Arcadia like we were never born."

I leaned back and growled, "I didn't imagine that he would do such a thing, but are you telling me that all of you were exiled as well?"

"Not exactly," she replied. "Since your mom knew that we were following you, she had the information removed. She did it because she knew that Jaha would never allow us to come back."

I nodded, "I guess it's better than being killed. Here, we have a chance to start over. The only thing noteworthy is that we've been followed and watched by the pack that's on the other side of our property."

"Why?"

I shrugged, "I'm not sure what started it, but I think they're gathering information about us. I can guarantee that your arrival will soon fall on their Alpha's ears. A couple of them followed us into town the few times that we went, but they stopped doing that once I spotted them. Then just yesterday, I went into town to take photos of the place and I was followed. This time by the sheriff of their town, a place called Polis. I did not like the vibe that came from him. He is convinced that we're hiding something and he's determined to find out what it is."

"But we don't have anything to hide," she said, perplexed. "Do we?"

"No, unless you count the reason why I'm here," I replied. "He's also discovered that I'm an Alpha. I have no idea if he'll tell his Alpha and if he does, how they'll react to it."

"That can't be good."

"Don't know but were staying on our side of the border and the only trips we've made are to the town. In fact, that's where everyone is right now."

"At least you're playing it smart," she said, thinking. "Why would the pack even be watching us?"

"A question we may never know the answer to," I replied. "It pretty much started as soon as we got here."

"Seriously?!"

"Yeah."

"How's the shoulder?"

"Shot," I said grimacing and at the mere mentioning of it, I felt an ache build and I rubbed it. "I can only run short distances and I find it difficult to lift it past shoulder height."

"You still have the pain killers," she asked.

"Yeah," I said, sighing. "And I've still got two refills left."

"That's good. You're not double dosing, are you?"

"No," I replied with a small smile, "I've been very good about that. I take long and hot showers to help."

"Speaking of showers, when are you going to show me around," she asked with a grin and effectively changing the subject.

"Now," I replied, chuckling and standing up. I pulled her up and off the couch and said, "We'll head to the second floor first, since that's where your room is."

"Wait, you mean I don't get a choice," she said, following me up the stairs.

"Nope," I said, looking back at her and grinning. "The guys pretty much insisted on it."

She followed me into the room and I could tell instantly, that she fell in love with it.

"Oh, My God," she squealed with delight, "This room is nearly as big as my apartment was. And this is all mine?"

"Yep," I said, smiling. "Nate's is right next to you and I've got the master suite."

"Where's Octavia and Bellamy bunking?"

"On the lower level. Come on, I've just got to show you mine," I said and turned around.

She followed me and as soon as we entered my bedroom, I felt her stop and I turned to look at her. She let out a low whistle and she walked in slowly, taking everything in.

"This is incredible," she said when she finally found the words. "You even have a balcony and Jesus, the view."

"I know," I said, sitting at the foot of my bed. "Check out the bathroom."

She did and as soon as she walked in, she screamed in delight and made me laugh.

She poked her head out of the door and said, "I want your room."

I laughed and replied, "Nope. Octavia already tried that with me. This is mine. Come on, more to show."

She left the bathroom reluctantly and I took her briefly around the rest of the house. She loved the floor to ceiling windows in my studio and she was ecstatic at seeing her side of the garage. I had gotten the best equipment money could buy and I was extremely happy that she loved it. When we were done with the tour, I helped her move her things up to her bedroom. By the time we were done, my shoulder was killing me and I ran upstairs to take a pain killer.

When I came back downstairs, everyone had returned and I watched as she was hugged. I also saw that the bar was laden with food. I saw the tell-tale signs of the restaurant and made a beeline straight towards it.

Bellamy laughed at me opening and closing the lids of the food and said, "Clarke, the burger at the end is yours."

I grinned wide at him and grabbed it. I opened the box and saw a little note tucked under the wrapper. I pulled it out and I smiled softly as I read it. It was from Janice and she hoped that I would enjoy the burger as much as I did the first time. She also told me that since I wasn't there to tell her no, she didn't charge for my burger. I let out a soft chuckle and pocketed the note.

"You're suddenly in a good mood," Raven said as she came to stand by me.

"It's nothing," I replied and felt a slight blush blooming.

She caught it and smiling, "I don't think so. Not if you're blushing like that."

I sighed and replied, "Fine. When I went and got a coffee from there yesterday, the waitress was flirting with me. She wouldn't let me pay for the coffee and she just wrote me a note telling me that since I wasn't there this time, she didn't charge them for my burger."

"Damn," she said with a grin, "I'd say that she likes you."

I nodded, "I'm starting to think so. She doesn't even seem turned off by the scars on my head. It feels nice."

She gave me a one armed hug and said, "Clarke, you are a beautiful and attractive woman. Don't over think it."

I shook my head and said, "I won't."

"Good," she said and gave me a squeeze before she let me go. She looked down at the size of the burger and said, "Is the food there always this big. It's huge."

"It is," I said with a chuckle. "It's safe to assume that they're used to people with big appetites."

"You mean werewolves."

"Probably, but we haven't scented any in town. Just the ones in the pack."

With those words, we grabbed our food and sat around the dining room table. The conversation was purposefully light and I felt that this family was finally coming together which made me feel good.

Later that night, I was laying in bed with the laptop on my lap and looked for something to watch on Netflix, but it was useless. I couldn't find anything that grabbed my attention, so I went back and opened up my email. Once more, my fan showed me great kindness. I saw nothing but truthful sincerity in what she wrote. It helped ease the pain knowing that someone outside of my friends was truly sympathetic and gave me honesty instead of platitudes. Knowing this, I made the decision to be more open with her. I wrote back telling her that the only family I had were my closest friends. That they were good people that were helping me through this. Then I told her that it was nice to have someone like her, someone outside of the whole thing, and that for some reason I felt that she was someone that was easy to talk to. I admitted to her and to myself, that I wanted this conversation to continue in a more personal manner and outside the whole fan thing or a possible patron.

I sent the email, closed the laptop, turned off the light and settled in to get as much of a decent sleep as I could.