Raven and I stopped at the restaurant, which I'd finally learned was called Rosie's, on our way to the hospital. I was a little disappointed that Janice wasn't there, but it was early morning and the two times I'd been here were late afternoon, so I shouldn't have been surprised not to see her working. We ate in relative silence as the dozen or so conversations of the other diners circled around us, none of it worth noting.

When we got back in her Jeep, I asked, "You did remember to grab my records, right?"

She smiled at me and replied, "Yes, Clarke. I did. They're in the back seat. Your list of medications is in there as well. You're not nervous are you?"

I sighed and readjusted the seatbelt so that it lay somewhat more comfortably on my left shoulder, replied, "Maybe? Doctors are invasive creatures by nature. They're going to want to know everything that happened and I don't know what to tell them."

She started the Jeep and pulled onto Main Street before she said, "It's all there in the records. They can't pry too much since the attack is still considered an open police case. It's also stated in your records that you have mild grade amnesia. They're not going to push. You've got nothing to worry about."

"You're right," I said, sighing. "I'm probably worrying over nothing."

"Clarke," she said, glancing over at me quickly, "It's alright to worry. You've got a lot of things going on inside that head of yours. Just take a deep breath and try and relax a little. Why don't you try and take a nap since it's gonna take an hour to get there. You didn't sleep well last night."

"Yeah, I didn't. The nightmares are getting worse. I'll see if I can't get a little more sleep," I said and leaned the seat a little ways back, closing my eyes as Raven turned the radio on to country rock.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and Raven's voice calling me. I opened my eyes, yawning huge, and stretched what I could while still seated in the Jeep. I blinked owlishly around me as my brain slowly woke back up.

The hospital wasn't much to look at, but it was what you'd expect for a rural area. We climbed out of the Jeep, Raven grabbing my records, and we both stretched more fully. I rolled my shoulders and cringed when the pain shot through me. We headed to the emergency room and stood in line for the receptionist. I pulled out my phone and found out that for a rural hospital, they got really good reception. I checked my emails briefly, but there wasn't anything of importance.

"Dude, look at these people," Raven said, leaning in to speak to me quietly.

I glanced around and noted that everyone looked pretty much farm grown, dressed in work clothes and with mud on their boots.

"What about them," I asked. "They look like mostly farmers or some such."

"They also look like they should be on the walls of every preteen in the country. All of them are fucking hot. Even the old folks."

I started laughing, but when I saw heads turning, I turned it into giggle snorts, "Really, Rae. This is the result of country living for generations. What'd you expect, people missing teeth or something?"

"Well, I certainly wasn't expecting this much eye candy."

"Mmm, I think someone needs to find someone," I said, teasing her. "When's the last time you got any, anyway?"

"That's none of your damn business, Clarke," she said, glaring at me with a hint of mischief in her eye. "Now, tell me when you're gonna lay claim on that waitress of yours?"

I felt my cheeks redden and I said, sternly, "Dude, I've only seen her twice. We, maybe, flirted once. And it's a big maybe on that. For all I know, she does that with everyone."

"Seriously," she replied. "She wouldn't let you pay for your coffee and she didn't charge the guys for your burger last night. And. And, Octavia told me that she was disappointed that you weren't there last night when they went in. I also saw that look of disappointment on your face when you didn't see her there this morning. Don't deny it."

I grumbled, "Fine, I'm not denying it. I find her attractive and I'd like to see if it was really flirting. But if shit's going the way it is, it'll probably be better if I don't even go after her."

"Okay, now you're just being pig headed," she said, "Clarke, just cause you're going through something, it wouldn't hurt to find someone outside of us, your family, to be around. She could actually be good for you. Just give it a shot."

I shook my head, "I don't know, Rae. I gotta get a handle on this before I even consider dating someone."

She chuckled, "Who said anything about dating, Clarke. It doesn't have to be serious. I mean, you just did get out of a relationship. A bad one at that. You don't have to go right to that kind of thing straight off the bat. Make a friend, that's all I'm saying. And if you sleep with said friend, perks."

I chuckled, "You're right."

"Of course, I am. Now, come on, we're next," she said and we turned to wait to be called.

We gave the receptionist my information and the reason for the visit. I lied and said that I'd been rock climbing too soon after surgery. She gave me a look and I looked appropriately abashed. We spent about an hour waiting to be seen by the intake nurse and then two hours before we were taken in the back. Raven helped me out of my jacket and I sat on the hospital bed while Raven sat in a stool and spun around for a bit.

"Rae," I said, grinning, "That's for the doctor."

"Doc's not here," she replied impishly. "So, this is now mine."

"Whatever. Just don't make yourself sick. We couldn't even let you play ring around the rosie when we were little. You always threw up by the fifth turn. And let's not forget how you get nauseous just watching the bottle spin when we used to play spin the bottle."

She stopped the spinning abruptly and her face turned slightly green, making me laugh and she said, "Oh, yeah, I forgot about that."

"Yeah, so let's not tempt fate, alright?"

"Fine," she said and got up and sat in one of the spare chairs. "So, how is your shoulder doing anyway?"

"Hurt's like a bitch and feels tight," I replied and rubbed my neck. "I didn't take anything before we left the house this morning and I'm really starting to regret it."

"Hopefully, you didn't do anymore damage to it. No tingly fingers or numbness?"

I clenched my hand into a fist and then relaxed it a couple of times and replied, "Maybe a little, but I don't remember if I was dealing with that before."

There was a knock on the door and we both looked up to see a middle aged man come in. He was looking at my chart and didn't look up as he closed the door.

"Ms. Griffin, it says here that you re-injured your shoulder yesterday rock climbing," he said when he finally looked up.

"Yes, sir," I replied. "I had surgery on it a couple of months back and then on a whim, I decided to go rock climbing. I know I overdid it, but I don't know how bad."

He came closer and asked, "Did you bandage this yourself?"

"Um, a friend of mine did. We're pretty outdoorsy, so we all know basic first aid."

"Did you take anything for the pain?"

"Just the pain meds the surgeon prescribed me, hot soak, and then iced it."

"I see," he said. "Let's get you out of this sling and we'll take a closer look at it, shall we."

My arm was stiff and every little movement sent spasms of pain throughout my body. By the time the sling and bandage were removed, I was sweating heavily and was having a really hard time trying not to rip his head off. It was bad enough, that Raven had had to hold me down, so that the doctor could move it slightly.

When I took a glance at it, I knew that it wasn't good. It was really swollen and there seemed to be fluid leaking out of the scab from where the sheriff had dug his thumb in. I moaned in pain as we waited for him to finish examining it.

"Well, young lady, I don't have to tell you that this is bad," he said, looking at me with a serious expression. "There's a lot of fluid built up. We're going to have to cut into it to drain it. When it's drained, we can perform tests to see the extent of damage that may have occurred from you overdoing it. I'm afraid that we're going to have to admit you into the hospital to make sure that you're okay."

I sighed heavily and looked over at Raven, she shrugged and said, "You gotta do it, Clarke. You can't afford to lose your arm."

"Alright," I said, turning to him, "Get the paperwork started."

He smiled kindly at me and replied, "Don't worry, we'll get you back to climbing rocks in no time."

I chuckled weakly and watched him as he left. When the door closed, Raven got out her phone and called the guys. She let them know what was going on and asked them to get an overnight bag together. When she hung up, she held my hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

"You think I'll be lucky enough not to have surgery again," I asked her.

"Maybe," she said, shrugging her shoulders. "Hopefully, it's just the fluid build up and once that's taken care of, you'll be right as rain."

"We can dream, can't we," I said as I leaned my head back and stared at the clock over the door.

"So, what's this waitress' name," she asked me to take my mind off of the impending hospital stay.

"Janice," I replied. "She's real nice. Or at least she is at the restaurant."

"Describe her to me."

"Um, she's taller than us," I said, chuckling. "Hell, everyone is taller than us, but anyway, she's got long reddish-brown hair that she puts in a ponytail. You can tell that it's thick and probably full bodied, too. Her eyes are the color of milk chocolate. High cheekbones, fully kissable lips that like to smile. You can tell that she smiles a lot. She looks soft. Like you know there's muscle there, but it's all underneath this layer of softness. She filled out her uniform so well, that you can't help but look. Not like it was a second skin or that it was too small for her, but you know exactly what's underneath those clothes. She just is."

"Sounds like you find her more than attractive, but your lack of colorful description is rather disappointing," she said, teasingly.

"Maybe if I saw more of her, my ability to wax eloquently on the beauty that is woman will expand," I told her, smiling.

"Ya see, there it is," she replied. "But then again, words aren't really your medium, are they?"

I chuckled, "No, words belong to Bellamy. I'm just an artist that can't paint."

"Hey, none of that, Clarke," she admonished me. "You'll paint again. I know it. Just be patient."

"Raven," I said, turning my head to look over at her, "Everything was taken away from me. I've lost my mother, my father, my home, my life. It's all gone. I'm never going to get it back. To think that I will is a fool's errand."

"Okay, so maybe you can't get it back, but you can have a life again. It'll be different, yeah, but it'll be yours. Even if you never paint another mountain or forest landscape, so what? There are plenty of other things to paint. I saw the photos of the town on your laptop, you can start painting that. You can still paint us. And sure, you can't have any contact with your mom, but that doesn't mean that she's gone. She's still alive, she loves you, and Jaha will never be able to take either of you away from each other."

I smiled as I felt tears fall. I lifted my hand to wipe them away and cleared my throat. She was right. Maybe mountains and forests were gone forever or even temporarily, but that didn't mean that I had to give up what I loved doing.

"You're right, I guess," I said as my thoughts centered around the possible. "I mean, as long as I can still hold a paintbrush and put it to canvass, painting isn't a lost cause. And maybe you're right about the forested mountain landscapes. I may not be able to paint them again, but maybe I will. Nothing's set in stone, right?"

"Right," she said, smiling. "The future's not written, not by a long shot. We just turn the page. We do better today than we did yesterday."

I chuckled, "I like that. Very motivational. We should write that down somewhere."

"Or…you could paint it. Hang it over the fireplace or your bed. Ooh, even better hang it over your studio door."

"I might just do that."

A few moments later the doctor came back in with the paperwork and I soon found myself ensconced in a room all to myself. I got changed into the required gown and waited for them to drain my shoulder. Raven had headed down to the cafeteria to get something to eat.

As I waited, I walked over to the windows of my room and stared out of them, looking out over the parking lot and past it. Most of the trees looked bare, but there were still batches of colorful leaves dotting the view. I sighed, turned around and leaned against the window pane, absorbing the coolness. When the doctor came in, he had a couple of nurses with him and we got started.

They numbed the area and started draining it. I laid there as still as I could, but it was hard. When they were done, the doctor looked at my records and then back at me.

"Ms. Griffin," he said, "you seem to have incurred quite a bit of injury in your young life. From the typical broken bones that happen in active children, but you seemed to have an uptake in injuries in the last four years ending in the attack that resulted in these latest injuries and amnesia."

I looked at him and replied, "I hadn't realized that I'd been to the hospital that frequently, Doctor."

He pulled a stool closer to the bed and sat down on it, looking at my records and then back at me and said, "Ms. Clarke, I've seen frequency of hospital visits like this before. It's my duty as a doctor to ask you if these injuries are a result of someone that was purposely doing this."

I sighed and looked up at the ceiling, knowing that I should have been expecting this kind of question and when I looked at him, I felt a tightness in my chest. Everyone in Arcadia knew that Wells had hurt me, but they never did anything to stop it, not even my friends. It was the way things were done. If a woman was strong willed and independent, it was the duty of their partner to make them, by any force necessary, submissive. Wells had done his duty, but in the end he hadn't been able to break me. Being an Alpha, submitting was not in my nature.

"Doctor, if you are asking me if I was abused, I was. The town I grew up in is extremely old fashioned. They hold onto the tradition that women should be seen and not heard. If they are outspoken or otherwise, their partner is duty bound to get them to toe the line, become submissive. I'm not saying that it's right, it's just the way it is as it has been ever since the town was founded. My boyfriend was killed in the same attack that left my shoulder and half my head smashed. My shoulder blade has been replaced and the bones there have pins holding them together. I have a plate in my head. Once my boyfriend was out of the picture, I left town and here I am."

"I see," he said, "I take it that your law enforcement also colluded with this way of thinking?"

"Yes, but it's all in the past now or at least as much as it can be."

He nodded, "Very well. I won't pry anymore, but I find it odd that your records do not show where you were treated or even where you lived."

"Doctor, I'm afraid that I don't have an answer for that."

"I understand," he said, sighing. "Now, let me tell you what's going to happen now. Because of the injury, itself, I'm not sure one draining will be enough. We may have need to do it again and that is why I've admitted you. Based on the type of injury, you incurred nerve damage, torn ligaments and tendons. They've been surgically repaired, but after only two months of recovery, there's a good chance that you may have undone the repairs. Once we know that the inflammation is gone, we can schedule a nerve test and MRI. This will let us know if there are any tears. We'll do a nerve test, sending electrical currents on the nerves and see how far down your arm it goes. The farther you feel it, the better. Do you have any questions about these tests?"

"Will the nerve test be painful," I asked.

"It depends on the person," he replied. "Some people only have mild discomfort while others do experience some level of pain."

I nodded in understanding and replied, "That was really my only question, Doctor."

"Alright, how's the shoulder feeling now?"

"There's a dull ache, but I don't know if it's because of the local you gave me or if it's because some of the swelling's gone down."

"If the pain builds up or becomes too much for you to be comfortable with, just use the nurse call button and they'll give you something for it," he said, standing up. "I'll stop by later today to see how you're doing."

"Thank you, Doctor," I replied and watched him as he left.

When Raven finally returned, I was flipping through channels on the tiny tv that was in the room. I gave her a look and she just smirked at me.

"You were gone an awfully long time," I said.

"The cafeteria food looked nasty, so I went into town and found a place to eat," she replied and then pulled a bag out from behind her back, "I brought you something to eat back with me."

"Oh, you are a blessing," I said, sitting up more. "I've been starving for the last hour."

She pulled the tray over to me and put the bag on it. Opening it, I noticed three burgers, four large fries, and a slice of some kind of pie.

"No drink," I asked.

She smiled and pulled out cans of soda from her pockets. I took them from her and immediately opened one of them to drink.

"So, what the doctor say," she asked as I started eating.

"Well, he said that my shoulder may have to be drained again before tests can be done," I said after I swallowed. "Then a nerve test and MRI. After that, who knows. He thinks I may have torn the ligaments and tendons again."

"Oof," she replied. "That means another surgery to repair them again."

"Yeah, no kidding," I replied and then focused on my food for a bit.

When I had eaten half of it, I stopped and said, softly, "He asked about all the times that I'd been in the hospital the last four years."

"What did you tell him," she asked worriedly.

"More than I should have," I replied, sighing. "I told him the truth about the way Arcadia is. That's it's okay to beat women and that Wells routinely beat me."

"So, he knows about Arcadia?"

"He knows that there's a town that prescribes to this archaic tradition, but doesn't know the name of the town. My hospital records have been redacted. They don't show the hospital I've been treated at or where I'm from."

"I guess that's good," she said, quietly. "It's kinda too bad, though. If they hadn't, the town could be investigated."

I shook my head, "I don't know if it would be possible to bring charges against the town. Either way, it doesn't really concern us anymore."

"You're right," she replied, sighing. "I'm just glad we got out of there."

"I am too."

We lapsed into a comfortable silence as I finished my food and we watched a movie on the tv. A little while later, my phone dinged and I fished it out of my coat pocket. I had an email from my fan.

Opening it, I read that she had been forced to make a hard decision last night. I was surprised to find out that she was a mayor of a small town. Then she told me that the town sheriff had been harassing a local in a nearby town just because he was suspicious of them. The man had been the town sheriff for over thirty years and had served loyally, but because of the harassment, she'd been forced to terminate him. She then told me that she had sent her deputy mayor to apologize to the local on her behalf, but she wasn't sure if it was accepted or not. She hoped that it had been, but she wasn't really hopeful. The sheriff had caused some very bad blood between the towns and she wasn't sure if she'd be able to repair the damage. She ended it by hoping that I was having a better day than she was.

I sighed at the news. I knew it was hard to have to make those kind of decisions. I'd been forced to compromise myself just so that I could stay with Mom, so I knew that it was difficult. Reading between the lines, I could tell that his actions had really pissed her off. I could also tell that she really loved her town and took her job seriously.

So, I wrote her back. I told her that she had probably done the right thing by letting the sheriff go because you can't really have someone in that capacity of authority poison town relations like that. Small towns relied on one another and it was important to maintain a good relationship. I told her that it seemed like she really loved what she was doing and that serving her town was important to her. That she seemed driven to do the best she could.

Then I told her that my day was just as bad. That I was in hospital because I'd injured my shoulder again and that it was possible that I may have to have surgery. Told her that it was my own stupid fault for trying to do something difficult only two months after the first surgery. I purposefully made fun of myself, saying that I should have known better, but I was apparently more stubborn than a mule. And with that, I sent it on it's way.

"What were you just doing," Raven asked when I set the phone down.

"I got an email awhile back from Rachel," I explained. "She told me that someone who had bought a painting recently wanted to commission one. Curious, I got her email address and we began to exchange emails. It's turned into an almost friendship, I guess. She was just telling me that she's a mayor of a small town and that she'd been forced to get rid of the guy who had been the sheriff for over thirty years because she'd caught him harassing someone a town over for no real reason. It's caused some discord between the towns."

She raised her eyebrows at this and said, "You're on personal terms with a mayor. That's impressive."

"In a way it is, but from what I've been able to figure out, is that she's rather young to be a mayor. She takes the responsibility seriously, though, and she seems to really enjoy it. I was just writing to let her know that I supported her decision and that I was back in the hospital."

"That's pretty cool," she replied. "I'm impressed. You've managed to snag a waitress and a mayor for possible friendships. That's pretty good for someone who grew up in a small town."

"Eh, Janice would be par for the course," I said, smiling. "What's different about her is that she seems interested in me. You know how rural small towns sometimes have a hard time changing with the times. I mean, look at Nate. They would've run him outta town if his dad wasn't a deputy."

"Yeah, this move was really good for him. I hope that he does find someone. He's too serious sometimes."

"Agreed. Were the guys planning on heading over here or were they just supposed to get a bag ready for me?"

She looked at her phone and replied, "They said that they'd be coming over. Bellamy said that Octavia had a job interview about one o'clock."

"Really, where at?"

"Surprisingly, the library."

I raised my eyebrows in astonishment, "The library?! I did not picture that. Honestly, I figured she might try the grocery store."

She shrugged, "Ya never know with Octavia."

"True," I said, sighing.

While we waited for the guys to show up, we spent the time watching game shows and making comments about this or that.