Lexa

"Hey, you," Anya said from the doorway. "Want to grab a bite to eat? It's way past lunch and you haven't left the office since you got here this morning."

I looked up at her after having stared at my computer screen blankly for the last twenty minutes. I blinked a couple of times to get my eyes to focus on her and leaned back to stretch.

"I s'pose," I replied, standing up. "I haven't been able to focus on my work."

She stepped further into the office, with a look of concern, and said, "Lex, you did what you had to do. Titus attacked Clarke without provocation. He attacked an Alpha. We're lucky that she isn't pursuing this further."

"How bad did her shoulder look, Anya," I asked.

"Bad, honestly," she replied. "I could tell it was swollen and like I said last night, he drew blood. More than likely she'll have to see a doctor. I know I would."

We started walking out of the office and I asked, "Do you think I should send something or maybe offer to pay for the doctor visit? You know as a way to show that I really am sorry for not being better able to control one of my pack members?"

She shrugged, "It's up to you. It may help, but it could also make you look guilty. She seemed to understand the reasons why we were keeping watch on the house and following them around. She would've probably done the same thing. We do know that Titus was trying to make her and her friends leave the area, but she might think that you wanted the same thing to get the crate and land."

I nodded in understanding and we were soon sitting in our favorite diner. I looked at the menu without really seeing it as I thought about what Anya had said. It was a gamble to send Clarke something as a way to apologize. We knew nothing about them other than that they wanted to be left alone and were starting over for some reason.

"Anya," I asked suddenly, "Why do you think they're trying to start over?"

"It's hard to guess," she replied after a moment of thinking. "There's a lot of reasons why such a young group would leave their pack. It could range from getting kicked out to voluntarily leaving. We'd have to gain their trust in order to find out the why."

"I guess you're right," I said, sighing. "It's just so weird that seven of them decide to leave a pack and then stick together, don't you think?"

"It is kinda weird. If I could hazard a guess, I think the reason they're here is because they followed Clarke."

We lapsed into silence and eventually placed our order. While we waited, my phone chimed and taking it out, I saw an email from Griffin. I read through it and for some reason her validation of my decision seemed to lift a weight off of my chest. I hadn't realized that it had weighed so heavily, but seeing her words made me feel better. My heart constricted a little reading that she was back in the hospital and the prospect that she might have to have surgery again.

I wrote her back immediately, thanking her for the support and that it helped ease some of the doubt I had about making the decision. I told her that I hoped that whatever she did wouldn't require surgery. I chuckled slightly seeing her make fun of herself. It was a sign that she was coping well with it. I let her know that I was no stranger to pushing too far after an injury, myself and making myself feel like an idiot afterwards. Sending it off, I pocketed it and then twirled my straw in my drink.

"Griffin," Anya asked.

I nodded, "Yeah. For some reason, it really helps corresponding with her. We seem to be helping each other this way. I told you that she was in an accident that's keeping her from painting?"

"Yeah, you did," she replied. "I've taken a look at her other works and they're beautiful. She's really talented."

"She is," I said, smiling to myself. "Well, she just told me that she re-injured herself and that she's back in the hospital again. She thinks she may have to go through surgery again."

"Now, that's someone that you can send something to. See if you can't find out a way to send your well wishes."

"I could always send something to the gallery owner and ask her to pass it on, I guess," I said, warming up to the idea.

"That's a good idea," she said, smiling at me. "Hey, after this, do you want to take a run and work off the food? We haven't run together in a while."

I looked at her and could see the hope in her eyes and I didn't want to disappoint her again, so I replied, "Sure, it'll be good to run with someone. I don't think I want to be alone right now, anyway."

She grinned at me and I was glad that I could still make her smile like that. Our food came and we dug in. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until it was suddenly all gone. We drove to the the outskirts of town, leaving our clothes in the car, and headed to the ledge. It was a good run, chasing each other around the trees like we used to when we were younger and didn't have any real responsibility.

We came up to the ledge and as we neared the edge, we shifted and took a moment to look over the valley. There was a sense of peace that this place always brought me. I remember when my father had brought me here the first time. I was maybe four, clumsy but eager. He had told me a story as we had sat and looked out.

It was a story about a wolf made out of light that become trapped in a valley of darkness. She had lost her heart in the valley and was searching for it, but the longer she stayed, the dimmer she got. The more the darkness took from her. She had stayed so long that she had become a mere shadow, flitting between the trees in search of her heart.

A rumor had begun circulating about the wolf of light and her heart. It was said, that if a brave enough man could find her heart and return it to her, she would gift him with riches beyond his imagination and she would forever be his. A young warrior heard this tale and was determined to find it. He entered the valley and with it's many dangers and with his own internal light dimming, he eventually came upon her heart. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. When he touched it, he felt his soul lighten and his determination grew to find this wolf and return it. Not for the supposed riches, but because it was the right thing to do. The heart had changed him.

He searched high and low for her, but she remained elusive. So, he traveled to the very center of the valley. In the very center was a clearing and in this clearing, he laid the heart. Kneeling beside the heart, staring up at the full moon, he prayed. He prayed to the gods of old. He prayed with all of his being that she would come and reclaim what was hers. He did this for three days and three nights. It was on the third night, that his prayers were finally answered.

The shadow of the wolf strode forward and as she came closer to her heart, she began to take shape. Then the shape began to change, until there was a beautiful, shimmering, young woman standing before him. With his eyes never leaving hers, he took the heart, and slowly standing, held it out to her. The moment her hands touched the heart and his, there was a burst of light. When the warrior could see again, the valley was no longer made of darkness, but rather light. He stared at the woman, who stared back at him. He had unknowingly returned the valley to it's original state.

It had once been a valley of light, but the spirt of the valley, the woman, had been cursed by an evil mage because she had refused his hand in marriage. He had taken her heart and hidden it in the valley that was now made of darkness. The spirit offered him riches, but he declined. She offered herself to him, but he declined again. She offered him many things, but he declined each time. He told her that he had already been gifted with something far more precious than all the material things that could be found on earth. He had been gifted with her light and that he had never felt so loved or so at peace. With those words, the gods spoke. He became the protector of the light. For as long as darkness threatened the light, there would always be someone to protect the light.

When the story was finished, Father had gathered me in his arms, holding me tightly and said that one day I would be called to become a protector of the light. That it would be my responsibility to chase the darkness away and keep our pack in the light. I didn't know it at the time, nor did I realize it until much later, but he was telling me that one day that I would be Alpha.

"You seemed a little lost there," Anya said, as she came up behind me and wrapped me in her arms.

I leaned back into her and closing my eyes at the feeling of her body pressed up against mine, replied, "I was remembering a story my father had told me the first time he brought me here. It was a story about how light must always be protected against darkness and that one day, I would become Alpha."

"So, you are the protector of light," she murmured against my neck, planting a kiss that made me shiver.

"According to him, I am," I said as she continued to pepper my neck with kisses and I realized that this wasn't what I wanted. I sighed and said, "Anya, please stop."

She stopped and I could feel her stiffen, "I thought that this is what you wanted?"

"I thought I did, too," I replied, "I'm sorry."

She pulled away and I turned to face her, the look of confusion on her face broke my heart. I look down, seeing that look turn to hurt.

"I don't understand, Lex," she said quietly. "Why'd you agree to a run and take me here?"

I looked up at her and in the gentlest voice possible, I replied, "Because you wanted this and I thought…I thought that I wanted it, too. I'm sorry."

She shook her head and said, "Sorry isn't enough, Lexa. Not this time."

She shifted and took off. I reached out half-heartedly for her, to stop her, but I realized that I didn't want to. I hugged myself in regret for hurting her like this. I always knew that she'd had feelings for me and maybe for a little while, I shared those same feelings. Now, though, I knew that I didn't love her in the way she wanted and that saddened me greatly. I wasn't sure if our friendship would survive this and that probably hurt me the most.

I shifted and headed back to where we'd parked. I was surprised to see her waiting for me to return. I shifted back and walked hesitantly towards the car.

"Why'd you wait for me," I asked.

She shook her head and sighed, "It wouldn't be fair to make you walk all the way back to Town Hall. I still have a responsibility to you, Lexa. Just don't expect me to do more than my job. You hurt me, Lexa."

"I know," I said, quietly as I dressed. "It was wrong of me to lead you to believe that there could be something between us. I regret that and I have no excuses. I hope that one day you'll be able to forgive me."

She stayed silent and then we were in the car, driving back. The silence was almost unbearable, but I knew that I couldn't break it. I'd say the wrong and any chance at forgiveness would be ruined, so I stayed silent. She stopped the car in front of the steps and I stepped out. Without a word, she drove off and I watched as her car disappeared around the corner.

I walked up the stairs and into my office, my thoughts worried. I knew that my worries circled around Clarke and Griffin, but now Anya had joined them. I tried my best at getting through the rest of the day, but in the end, I knew I accomplished very little.

As I turned off the lights to the office, my thoughts circled back to the story my father had told me. I didn't feel like a protector of the light at the moment, because it seemed that I was spreading the darkness instead. The only light that I could see was Griffin, but she seemed lost in the darkness as well.

Instead of going to the bar to drown this feeling, I headed to the one convince store in our town. I bought a case of beer and a bottle of cheap whiskey. The clerk gave me a look, but didn't say anything. That night, when I got home, I made it my mission to forget that this day had ever happened.