The Bond Of A Soulmate

by OrdinarilyAverage

"His eyes were red, wild and feral, the blood dripping down my neck from Edwards abrasions to my skin flowed softly to the forest floor. He snarled. I froze. Edward looked at me in a stage of terror as the vampire lunged at what I thought was, me." Bella x Marcus

3. Chapter 3: Revelations, Revenge, Rabbits

Summary: "His eyes were red, wild and feral, the blood dripping down my neck from Edwards abrasions to my skin flowed softly to the forest floor. He snarled. I froze. Edward looked at me in a state of terror as the vampire lunged at what I thought was, me."

Rating: Mature audiences only for... well I am not sure. Just a precaution. The second chapter contains attempted rape YOU'VE BEEN WARNED If it makes you feel uncomfortable, please don't read it and skip to the next chapter.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except for the storyline!

A/N: Thank you for the kind reviews and welcome new followers, I'll work on my grammar and punctuation- I tend to rush my work when I am inspired to write. I'm shocked that over 29,000 people viewed my story and that I have gained so many followers so quickly. It's frigging awesome, so stay tuned- you guys inspire me. I've decided to take out the other POVs and only write from Bella's perspective, just makes things easier for everyone.

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CHAPTER 3: REVELATIONS, REVENGE AND RABBIT HOLES:

(Bella's POV)

I awoke to the all too familiar sound of the rain pelting against the window, another stormy day in Forks. I brushed over the dim light of the room and remembered the events that occurred yesterday. Edward, Heidi, Marcus. I began to rub my eyes slowly adjusting the dim light of the lamp on my bedside, the rocking chair that was now by the window was empty. I slowly drew in a deep breath, the pain in my chest was not as bad as it had been the day before. My stomach growled almost angrily, the hunger inside of me was driving my body mad. I slowly rubbed the sleep from my eyes again feeling more awake this time and I was wincing when I got too close to the bruising on the left side of my face. I knew I must have looked almost as bad as I had when I faced James in the Ballet Studio. I knew exactly where I was and. I am in my own home, I am safe. I kept the mantra simple to ease myself out of the fog but the medication I was given always made me groggy and grumpy.

I turned my gaze towards the right side of me and panic settled into my core, my chest tightening, my heart rate increasing rapidly. The monitor set off an alarm, the beeping was even more unsettling against the rare hush of noise throughout the house. Where did Heidi get a heart monitor machine and did I really need it? Marcus popped his head back into the room, the door ajar from afar? Something I did not notice before. The monitor began to slow which each step Marcus took towards me, relief flooding through me, as my body began to sink back into the bed, my body felt even worse than it had the day prior. I licked my chapped lips, my mouth filled with dried saliva and I needed to attend to the bathroom as soon as possible to brush my teeth. The pillows behind my head were throwing me off balance as they were flat and lumpy, adding to my discomfort. Even though I had thought I had wanted to welcome death, I was grateful that the pain I felt, meant that I was alive, truly alive and free for the first time in a long time.

"Marcus?" I turned my face and he was there, sitting back in his chair, his face a foot from mine, his chin was resting against his hand, his elbow against the arm. He looked me up and down, the worry was still in his gaze.

"Good morning Isabella, how are you feeling?" He grabbed my hand as it seemed to ease his nagging in his mind. He held my palm gently in his, careful not to disrupt the needle and wire from disconnecting the fluids running through my system. He was waiting for me to respond patiently. I was surprised someone was able to prick me in my sleep.

"I was worried, I woke up alone," I muttered the words, hoping he believed me, it was in fact because I had woken up in the darkness, unaware of what awaited in the shadows as I had dreamt of Edward's face, they were both in the meadow this time, sitting amongst the ever-growing bundles of flowers. The bright purple and yellow made me feel at home. He was my home. At least I thought he was. I gazed off even further into the distance, a flash of painful memories of my dream were making me shudder in fear. It had turned more violent the quicker I had protested against Edward's unwanted advances. I took a deep breath and he seemed to know I must have had a harder time waking up whilst taking Tylenol.

"I'm sorry, the phone call with Aro took a lot longer than I thought. I had to check on the guard as well." I knew I must have seemed needy and clingy towards a man I had only just properly met, but something in my core told me that he would keep his word. I covered my face with the other hand to hide my shame, I knew I must have been a burden to his guard that was here, after all, they had more responsibilities than dealing with a minor mishap with one human. Or so I thought.

"I'm sorry," I apologised, my eyes filling with tears, it filled me with anger and with the whiplash of emotions I brushed the tears away from my face roughly, pushing down on the bruises on my face making me gasp as the pain throbbed with each one of my heartbeats. The monitor I was wearing was following me every mood swing, it made me want to rip the tracker off my pointer finger and smash it across the room. So I didn't have to hear that obnoxious noise any more besides when did Heidi attach it to me? Edward's words echoed in my head again, making me feel worse by the minute. 'You were just a distraction... A plaything.' How could I have not seen it? How could I have been so naive?

"Why are you apologising?" His tone was soft, soothing. It calmed me a little, but my throat was dry. He smiled at me, which made me smile slowly back at him, that even hurt my face. He looked at my face, his eyes darting up and down, eyeing the handprint across my cheek. It was one of the injuries I would have the hardest time trying to cover up. He grabbed my cup from the bedside table and brought the straw to my lips. His gaze made me feel vulnerable, I blushed.

"For... Being... So jittery, paranoid, clingy." I rushed my last words hoping he wouldn't say too much or worse, agree with me. Like Edward had, which was meant to be endearing to me but now that I started looking back at his behaviour towards her, he wasn't as nice as I had mistaken him to be. It was as if my brain was in a constant fog. Marcus lent forward, while his other hand slowly turned the lights up so I could see his face more. He brushed his lips against my hand, a small beacon of hope-filled my chest.

"Isabella... You're not being clingy. So, stop that. You have been through some heavy emotional and physical trauma. I would not expect you to be any way shape or form other than distressed. But time will help you and so will I." His accent was heavy, as more emotion-filled his voice. He turned his head away, he was slowly opening up to me, unlike last night before where I had passed out. I would not have been able to handle this conversation last night so the rest was sorely needed. There was a knock at the door just before I began to speak my answer back to Marcus. I turned and pulled the blankets more around me, it seemed to be my only safe strategy. A form of protection, even if it was a measly blanket. Heidi entered the room with another tray full of breakfast food. The smell of pancakes and golden syrup almost made my stomach growl, almost insane with hunger.

"Morning, Bella. I could hear your stomach from a mile away." Heidi smiled, coaxing a small smile from me. She set the table down and turned to Marcus and bowed. "I am sorry I interrupted." Marcus smiled, waving his hand. Heidi looked at us as if she knew something I did not. Her eyes glazed over and were slowly filling with regret. She opened and closed her mouth hesitating but closed it again and bowed, leaving the room. I thought that had to be a formality in Marcus's presence and I hated the idea of someone bowing to me. Her allure filled the room as it did yesterday and I believe she was doing it on purpose.

"Forgive her allure, she's been on her own and following her own duties for far too long." Marcus slid his phone back into his pocket and nodded towards the food. I hesitated though out of concern of being poisoned. He seemed to think this was funny and he chuckled at me.

"Is that what you called it yesterday? Fishing?" I asked unsure if I really wanted to know what he meant.

"It's not what you really think but I guess I have just grown accustomed to the concept. Heidi gathers men and women who are considered to be bad people." He was gauging his words it seemed based off of my own reactions. Although I knew what the true nature Vampires had it was still shocking to hear that they fed on humans, at least it was bad people.

I was not sure what I wanted to say so I looked at him whilst I slowly started shovelling the food into my mouth, I was famished. The hot coffee had burned my tongue but I relished in the sweet and bitter concoction, warming me up from the inside out. It was my favourite beverage after all. It also gave me a distraction to think of an appropriate answer.

"I'm not sure why it shocks me but I guess I've grown accustomed to the Cullen's lifestyle." Was all I could seem to say before the ache in my chest intensified.

"Is it as bad as they say it is? To be a vegetarian?" I was becoming rather aware that Marcus has more of a morbid sense of humour and it was rather shocking, how open and honest he seemed to be.

"I can't speak much, I was banned from ever observing them hunt... from my own experience, it's the one with the red eyes you have to watch out for." In my books Jasper meant me no harm, I could not consider his actions a true attack and I remembered that was what really pissed Edward off.

"So they played it safe, that's a relief." His tone was calmer now as if he was relieved they kept me away from their true natures.

"Is it that much of a risk? Carlisle was one that never ever took a drop of human blood, and he was a doctor, he even said he was desensitised to it." I asked somewhat harshly. After smelling the CD yesterday something about my own room was making me react so negatively. "I'm sorry, I don't know exactly what's coming over me." I reached up and ran my own hand across my forehead. I was still fairly warm since yesterday, a fever? The storm must be bringing on a cold. Serves me right. I thought.

"There's no need to apologise and yes, Carlisle was one of the few of us that can show that much restraint but that is one argument we can have at a later time when you are better." Marcus noticed my sudden mood swing and pulled another fresh handkerchief from his suit jacket, it was another engraved with the Volturi Crest, it matched the golden locket around his neck, which also featured their crest but it was placed within the 'V,' the ruby, red pendant shone brightly in the light. It looked just as thick as it must have been heavy for a human if they ever were to have the privilege to wear them.

We sat in silence as I downed the rest of my coffee and sighed as my stomach was heavily full and I was finally free from the cold. I turned to Marcus and smiled, he stood and moved the table from my lap and put it beside the door, knowing Heidi would deal with it when she left. Marcus sat down again, the buzzing of his phone was still on a marathon. I watched Marcus wipe a hand through his short hair, he seemed as if he was not as accustomed to the short length. Marcus switched his phone off and looked out the window, his stern expression meant business. I could not help but comment on the difference.

"You look different." He turned his head to the side to understand what I meant. "Carlisle has a painting in his office of you... and your brothers?" He smiled then as if he recalled what I was talking about.

"And here I was thinking you had not heard of us." Marcus's eyes twinkled.

"About that Marcus," It was the first time I think I had said his name and it had him completely raptured. "How did you know about me? How did you find me?" I asked what I had been waiting to ask. I was feeling paranoid now wondering if the Cullen's were ever coming for me.

"Another Coven not too far from here visited us last September, apparently Carlisle had a human that he was intending to keep that way and in our world that is not something that can be permitted without a couple of desired circumstances." Marcus accent was heavy now, I guessed since it was making him more emotional.

"Denali's?" I guessed. Carlisle had asked them to help out with Edward and the James situation however I was surprised because there were things that Edward was keeping from me.

"Just the one. Irina. She came to inform Aro, since a man named Laurent, her presumed soulmate went missing, she conspired that it had something to do with the Cullen's." Marcus seemed to be telling me the truth now. Why else would he go into such detail?

"I was not aware that there were laws in your world." My voice was small. I wasn't wrong when I had sense trouble in Marcus's arms earlier, I was in trouble."

"Which is why Aro sent me here to find out. He was sick and tired of me moping around all the time and after I realised he was right. I needed a fresh start." Marcus tone was soft but determined.

"Am I in trouble?" My hands shook so I clasped them together to hide how nervous I was.

"I can't determine that until I know your full story Bella," I surmised in my head that maybe he really did want to get to know me, but now I knew it wasn't for me it was for Aro. Like Heidi, did he sense that there was something weird with me? Edward could not read my mind and Heidi's allure barely affected me. Did he notice that too?

I took a deep breath and realised that my body clock was facing some serious wrath. I tried to count up the days in my head but I could not remember for the life of me what day it actually was. Charlie was going to freak out that I had not called him to tell him of my whereabouts. So before Marcus and I were going to talk I at least wanted the chance to say something, anything even a goodbye to Charlie. He deserved that at least.

"Can I make a phone call first?" Marcus smiled and handed over his mobile to me without hesitating. I dialled in my Dad's station number since I knew he should be working a late one tonight and was waiting for him to pick up. I was hesitating to mention anything about the Volturi being here as it could affect him so I left him a message;

"Hey Dad it's Bella, I went for a hike today and had more of a fall this time, don't worry another hiker found me and took me to the hospital. I got discharged early and I'm taking a Taxi home, my car has been left at the hiking site, wouldn't start. Call me. I love you." I surmised that all that happened was a hike and that he would presume that was the truth but I had to make it more plausible with Marcus, as I would have to explain why he was actually in our house. I was panicking a little and he reached out and grabbed my hand to calm me.

"Nothing's going to happen to you, but your father does not know about us, our world?" Marcus tilted his head to the side, and his reaction to that had me even more curious.

"God no. I would never want to put any of this on him. He's innocent." I smiled warmly thinking of our exchange just yesterday and I felt pity for myself then as I remembered making plans on doing up the house with him. Marcus stroked his face speculating my words.

"He's of a high rank in this town, my Dad is the Chief of Police, and he's not stupid, he's aware there has been plenty of animal attacks around," I added sarcasm to my words knowing full well that Victoria and James, hell even Laurent were responsible for the deaths that have occurred all summer. "He's just in his own bubble and I won't let anyone destroy that, he's on a need to know basis and right now he does not need to know." I coughed pulling my hand back from Marcus's and he smiled softly at me. I would actually want to protect my father from anything and I felt sick to think it took me this long to realise just how much I really loved him.

"He sounds like he is a good father," Marcus was showing me a lot of respect and for that, I could only hope he would spare my father at least from any danger. Edward was right, I was a danger magnet.

"He has been the best since I've moved in with him, the last year he has really stepped up," I murmured. I was embarrassed to say that Renee hadn't but she was a whole other story.

My heart rate on the monitor relaxed as I took in my own words. Marcus had been quiet for a while, observing the interaction between us as if he knew for sure that we needed it. My relationships with the Cullen's would all be affected it seemed but more than ever it seemed as if for once, it was finally up to me to make my own decisions. I looked down at my hands and I was not too sure where to continue our conversation. I looked up at him to study his features. After all, I had not been as conscious as I had thought when he was carrying me.

His short-cropped hair was a rich brown, the dull light seemed to make the shade almost black, his face, all the while it being symmetrical, was not considered to be pretty, as Edward's face had been. But it did not put me off, his sharp jawline and nose in contrast with the red of his eyes and the thickness of his brows was masculine in all its glory. He was handsome, to say the least. I could imagine when he was human he had dark brown eyes or a set of bright blue. I took a deep breath as his eyes were filled with amusement at my blatant goggling. I blushed red and put my head in my hands. I almost laughed.

"I'm sorry." I was never more embarrassed, I did not want Marcus to think I was the sort of woman that would be blatantly crude or promiscuous for checking him out. He smiled at me and laughed. A full, deep-in-the-belly, everyone-can-hear-you-from-miles-away-kind-of laugh. It reminded me of Emmett, but as I watched Marcus's face light up in a way that made him even more handsome, I could not help but notice how good looking he really was. I knew that was not all he had to offer but he really shocked me to my core. Butterflies made their way into my overstuffed stomach as his laughter died down, and he slowly intertwined his hand with mine. The other was placed against his stomach as if he was hurting from laughing so much, it was a glimpse into the humanity Carlisle always spoke about. Deep down, all vampire souls were connected back to their human roots.

He turned to look at me as I peeked out of the hand that was covering my face. He was laughing which surprised me.

"What's funny?" I frowned and his lips began to twitch as he smiled more. He was breathtaking, truly. His huge broad shoulders, leaned forward, his face inching closer to mine. My heart rate monitor would be going through the roof, I took a deep breath my blush slowly fading.

"You are. I have not met anyone as refreshing as you are Isabella." His accent was heavy, and for some reason, it soothed me. The more he spoke, the more he captivated me. I felt my blood rush to my cheeks, I was always embarrassed by compliments. I never thought I fit in with their world but it seems like more than ever Marcus would never make me feel like Edward.

"If you say so, " I shrugged, hoping the blush in my cheeks would die down soon. I never liked the use of my full name but when it came from his lips, it had never sounded better. His eyes twinkle as if he knew I was not like any other woman. I am humble for everything I have ever been blessed with. My thoughts were interrupted as he traced his finger along the back of my hand. The sleeve of the shirt I was wearing slowly rode up, he hissed and grabbed my wrist gently pushing the fabric back further.

His eyes were as black as coal, they were filled with so much anger I almost flinched as I made eye contact with him. The jagged scar was the only piece of evidence that the night James almost killed me was real. My foggy memory as Edward had sucked the venom out was blurred and I was occasionally met with dark blanks in my memory due to being unconscious in the hospital for 5 days. I reached my other hand over and gently grabbed him, he let go of my wrist and looked at me, his gaze softening.

"I'm sorry." His tone was gentle but I could tell his patience was running thin. I was wondering what the others we're doing downstairs and I knew they would not be able to help themselves by eavesdropping. I sighed.

"It's okay, it's not your fault." My tone held some form of annoyance but it was far from being directed towards Marcus. My life always felt on display for everybody as my face was always easy to read. Renee, my mother had always said that my face was like an open book. For once, I wish she wasn't right. I took a deep breath, trying to prepare myself for the long story that I was about to give. I felt as though my shoulders were weighed down with the world.

"You can start anytime that you want. I would just like to know more about you." His tone was kind, gentle, even patient. It reminded me of how Edward was at the beginning of our relationship. I frowned, trying to push the thought of him away but inevitably he would be mentioned over and over again throughout my story so I had to do this either way.

"I moved here, just over a year ago, from Phoenix, Arizona to be specific. I lived with my mum, Renee, at the time, her and Charlie, my father, were never settled into a proper routine, as we were well, continents apart." I felt myself in a trance as the words began to pour off of me, thinking of my mother, soaking up the sun without a care in the world always made me green with envy. Her life always seemed to be easy. "Don't get me wrong, I love my mother, I really do, but she was never fit for the role. She had recently just married my step-father Phil and she wanted to travel and be free, rather than have the responsibility of her barely legal daughter. My tone was a bit bitter, I knew my mother would have had trouble raising me a single mother, but I knew without a doubt that I was more of a parent than she was. It filled me with sadness, the hole in my chest was nearly gone but I still felt the remnants of agony I had felt earlier. I cleared my throat and met Marcus's concerned gaze, I smiled at him. I was fine. I continued the story.

"Within the next few weeks, I spent countless moments trying to convince my mother that I was okay with moving to Olympic Peninsula of northwest Washington State, a small town named Forks exists under a near-constant cover of clouds. In the end, she finally believed me as she dropped me off at the airport and I boarded the flight. Mind you I had no complaints, it had been a while since my father and I had spent any decent time together." I huffed, I was embarrassed that my mother had abandoned Charlie. I blushed as the I spat the next words out. "It was from this town and its gloomy, omnipresent shade that my mother escaped with me when I was only a few months old. She could not bear to stay in one place at a time and here, it was a prison. It was in this town that I'd been compelled to spend a month every summer until I was fourteen but it was hard for Char-my dad to come and visit, he loves it here." I looked down at my hands, remembering the first night I stayed here as if it was yesterday.

"My Dad had really been fairly nice about the whole thing. He seemed genuinely pleased that I was coming to live with him for the first time with any degree of permanence as he hated coming down- he hated the heat. By the time I had arrived he'd already gotten me registered for high school and was going to help me get a car. I always felt bad about that, every holiday I made it clear I hated Forks." Marcus was stroking my palm up and down with his fingertips, they were cool against the heat of my hand. I hesitated and looked at him. He was leaning forward, listening to every word. I shook my head and his eyes crinkled.

"Do you really want to know everything?" I blushed. I was ashamed that I spoke terribly of my father when in reality, I knew I could not live without him. He nodded.

"Of course, I plan on knowing everything there is to know about you, Isabella." His tone was mischievous and it made more butterflies enter my stomach. I squinted at him, but his response seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say.

"Okay, okay," I put my hands up in mock surrender, he laughed hard. He grabbed my palm and kissed my knuckle. It was all the support I needed to continue. "Uh, where was I?" I fumbled with the drip, trying to remember my place. "Ah yes, okay, my arrival. The first night I spent here, it was a sleepless night for sure, I was not used to the constant and ever so seemingly persistent storming weather." I scrunched up my nose, the constant hailing still bothered me to this day. "The next day was my first day at Forks High. I was tired the next morning, I had spent most of the night tossing and turning. I was right to not have slept properly though because nothing could have prepared me. On my first day was when I first saw Edward and the others. We had walked into the Cafeteria. I noticed them as soon as I had walked in even though they were sitting in the corner of the cafeteria, as far away from where I sat as possible in the long room. I noticed their odd behaviour, as they weren't talking, and they weren't eating, though they each had a tray of untouched food in front of them. They weren't gawking at me, unlike most of the other students, it was uncanny really. So technically it made finding out about your kind much easier, not that they are to blame. They never wanted me to know. My friend Jacob..." It hurt to say his name as well. "Well, he told me after an uh, date, um on the beach." I blushed again as I was not sure if I should mention all of the details but like Marcus had said he wanted to know everything.

"So you dazzled the poor boy?" Marcus grinned and laughed. It made me laugh, I shook my head and then I nodded in acceptance.

"Yes, in other words. I may have, to get the truth." I wanted to put my hands in front of my face. He rubbed my knuckles again.

"Then he did not stand a chance." Marcus's tone was playful. I snorted and continued with the story again.

"So yeah, I noticed them straight away, as if my destiny was intertwined with every step I took, we sat only a few tables away really. That's when I noticed Edward. He was glaring at me ferociously, and I could never understand why until we had our first class together, Biology." I zoned out for a minute as memories began to surface and overtake each other, the way Edward had looked at me was very much the way he had before Marcus had saved me. I turned my focus towards Marcus, to bring me out of the fog.

"He spent days avoiding me afterwards, and it was not until he returned that I fell under his spell. He seemed engrossed in our conversation during our only class, but he had a hard time keeping himself in check as he was leaning away from me most of the time. He was trying to get to know me, or so I thought. When I look back now he was never more true to his colours, so to speak. I can see how I missed certain moments of how he tried and very well succeeded in controlling me." I wanted to cry. I knew I would need another break soon. I turned my head to check the time, only an hour had passed and I was hoping the sun would be out soon. I looked towards the curtains, feeling the sudden urge to have some fresh air. Marcus noticed my gaze and slowly stood, walking slowly but determined to open the curtains. My mother was right, I was an open book for sure. He opened them slowly, my eyes adjusting to the sudden harsh light. Relief flooded through me. He walked back over to me and removed the monitor, and the IV drip, regardless of Heidi's instructions.

"I can tell when something is wrong, didn't just need the machine." He grinned and moved me to sit on the rocking chair I had in the corner. He opened the latch of the window and the cold breeze instantly cooled my face down.

"Thank you." I grabbed his hand as he helped me sit up, I grabbed the Tylenol and popped one in my mouth to help with the minor pain. I was never more thankful to have Heidi's help sure she spouted a lot about women's rights and such earlier in the bathroom but she was able to mend some part of me. She indeed was a lifesaver. My heart ached for her as I feared she had experienced far worse than I did. I grabbed some socks from the basket next to me and Marcus bent down as I unfolded the socks, he grabbed one from my hand, he rubbed his hands together, it almost made me laugh, as his hands would be cold either way. He grabbed them both and slid them up my feet, the warmth was almost instantaneous. I breathed a sigh in relief and moved to grab the new, beige slippers that were at the end of the bed and handed them to Marcus. He slipped them on and laced them up, not to tight.

I sighed almost content. The window sill in my room was huge and I loved sitting here. It was a perfect little nook to simple read or to just sit and watch the sunset. I was hoping no one else was outside, but to my surprise, Marcus's guard was below us. Demetri and some other man, who very much reminded me of Emmett. Marcus noticed my gaze lingering and he held my hand.

"Ah yes. You briefly met Demetri, the other oaf, beside him is Felix." Marcus winked at me as Felix's shocked face turned to greet us. I giggled a little at him. Although I was wary of him just like I had been with Emmett, they were both insanely huge. He was suddenly in front of us, startling me. Marcus growled and Felix took a step back and bowed. His antics were very Victorian, to say the least.

"Miss Isabella Swan, I am Felix, Felix Volturi." He offered his hand as if to shake mine, and Marcus hissed as his lips made contact with my hand. He took a step back and grinned, leaning on the tree outside my window.

"You did indeed call me an oaf Master." I laughed a little as my heartbeat began to slow down, he was indeed very much like Emmett, not just in his size but with his sense of humour as well. I could tell that we would get along immediately.

"I prefer Bella, actually." I was a little annoyed but it seemed as though the Volturi were the very old fashion in regards to formalities. He smiled at me and winked. I blushed and turned my head to step closer to Marcus, my body moved as if it was on instincts. Felix laughed and jumped down off the balcony to join Demetri again, who was shaking his head with mock disgust.

Marcus pulled me to sit down on the soft cushions and the silence was a break I needed. I sat here for 15 minutes taking in the cool weather. I would continue my story in a moment. I knew rehashing the details would leave me with more emotional trauma than before and Marcus seemed to understand that what I really needed more than ever, was time.

"Do you need a break?" Marcus asked me. I thought yes but I could do this I had to, or at least I had to believe in myself enough to do this.

I intertwined my hand with Marcus's as the sun-brushed slowly through the clouds, it began to hit my face. I let the weight fall off my shoulders, as it seemed the whirlwind of the storm was pausing for the time being. I turned my gaze towards him expecting the floorboards and windows to reflect the glimmering shimmer of the diamond skin like Edward had revealed to me in the meadow. I frowned, deep in thought. Marcus's skin had an iridescent glow to it but not much had changed from his milky white consistency. I studied his face further, looking deep into the crimson depths and noted his eyes were more black than red. His skin would pass for any typical human living without much sun. My mind began to race ahead of me, speculating it was because of his age and how over time vampires would learn to adapt for their prey? I shook my head and realised it had been a full 15 minutes more before I had said anything as I had continually locked my eyes with his. I blushed to turn my face away. He grinned at me. My head began to throb in time with my heartbeat and I knew it was time for something stronger than panadol. Tylenol would have to do, it wasn't as if I had to be dependent on morphine... Just a couple of pills to take the pain away for now. I scrunched my face up the tiniest bit and Marcus frowned at me.

"Isabella, are you okay?" He pulled the pills from his pocket and popped two into his palm. "Heidi said to take this once you started feeling any pain. Are you hurting?" The concern he had for me was evident in his tone. I almost snorted, I didn't know when I would be okay. I felt as if my whole world around me had shifted inside out. The world had chewed me out and spat me right back into it again.

"I'll be fine. Plus you want to know my story?" I had silenced him enough for now and he put the pills back in his pocket. I needed to feel this. Just to know it was for real. "As I said, he avoided me for weeks until one day he just showed up for class again as if nothing had ever happened. He was standing in the parking lot waiting for me at the edge of the trees and I idiotically followed him into the forest, not just once..." I was bitter. I cleared my throat. "We were walking for what seemed like ages until we were in a clearing. HE stopped, and as he had his back to me he asked me outright if I knew." I shook my head. "Idiot me should have said nothing. Pretended I didn't know. Something." I shook my head in annoyance.

"He backed me up into a rock, and told me I was a stupid lamb." Edward's gaze on me turned vicious in my mind. He warned me of the predator he was and is. "He kept using his scent to lure me, and I did not realise that until now. I would forget everything and like normal he would take me home. But this day I cut class and we spent the whole day talking in the meadow... He showed me what he was and looking at you now in the sun... It's wildly different." My heartfelt heavy remembering each date we shared. Marcus nodded and grinned.

"It's because of my age, Bella." He rolled my name on his tongue. "We as a species do evolve over time... Although Aro likes to agree to disagree with me on that." Marcus chuckled and squeezed my hand. "You are also not an idiot. We all make mistakes, and how do you know it is if you don't try?" I blushed again. Would I ever stop? As I heard Marcus laugh I remembered actually learning Edward was a vampire way before that moment in time. The car incident played through my mind. Jesus, am I a mess today? Marcus was watching me go through the moment of turmoil.

"Thank you. I actually found out he was a Vampire long before that moment... and that's when I met Jacob, the boy I dazzled as you so put it earlier." I was genuinely worried. He did say no one would bring harm to me, but did he mean it? Would he just kill me right here and now once he realises I'm a liability? He mentioned rules. I can't forget this but his scent wafting so close to me soothed me. Sandalwood, as if he spent most of the night carving wood. It was all-natural, earthy. Almost human. He is handsome now, how much more rugged would he be if he was a human still? I could see that... Jesus Bella... Calm that.

"Isabella, mia, you're not in trouble. I just want to get to know you better, it can wait if you're really not up for it." He let go of my hand and took a step back. A gust of wind pulled through the window and I turned my head away. I was getting another headache. Talk about a PTSD and a whiplash cocktail.

"I just need to heal more. It's harder to talk about than I thought. He wasn't who I thought he was... and it's overwhelming me. There are all these moments that are playing in my head and I can see the signs... He saved my life only to shut me out completely like it was a game. He'd kiss me only to make me compliant." Marcus growled loud enough for everyone to hear. Something was smashed downstairs and the sudden noise made me jump. These drugs really made me honest and I wanted to apologise again but I didn't."He cut me off from Charlie too, and Jacob. Always messed with my car and cell phone." I wiped my hands over my face and took a deep breath. "And what little friendships that I had as well, even those weren't good enough even though I formed those without him." I was remembering my trip to Lapush with everyone and how I should have heeded Jacob's warning.

"It was my fault too, I didn't say no or stand my ground enough. I pushed Edward into telling me the truth. He warned me and said he was the bad guy. We argued and then we ditched class after he saved me from passing out during Biology. He suckered me with more of his scent when he carried me to the nurse. SO I forgot and then he persuaded me to let him drive me home that day. I asked him out finally and he turned me down... Unexpectedly. I now know why he couldn't come to Lapush, the Shapeshifters. He has saved my life more than I can count. That's why I ended up forgiving him each time." My voice went quiet and I knew he heard what I had said. Marcus seemed empathetic but beyond livid and I hoped it wasn't with me.

"After the day I had with Jacob on the beach, we were just kids you know? Sharing scary stories. He was barely 15 and I had just turned 17 and I swear he never knew the truth to those stories until he turned." Jacob had been avoiding me all summer after the dance fiasco with Edward, Billy dodged my phone calls so Charlie had decided on both of us that he had, had enough and dropped me off at Jacobs early one morning. I bypassed Billy and saw Sam's gang, the one Jacob had always complained about but now had suddenly joined, it infuriated me just how bad they had changed him and I provoked an attack with Paul. I shivered thinking of how I heard every bone in his body snap before sharp teeth were coming for me. I ran and Jacob had phased right before my eyes. I ran from him that day and drove away in my truck. Billy rang the house but I chose not to answer and told Dad to tell him I was not going to speak another word to Jacob. I took it he got the hint that I was going to be quiet about everything when he stopped calling our house. I could keep secrets but with Marcus, they all wanted to flow freely.

"He asked me if I liked scary stories and for once I wish I just left it at that. He told me about his Ancestors and how there are lots of legends, some of them claiming to date back to the Flood, supposedly, the ancient Quileutes tied their canoes to the tops of the tallest trees on the mountain to survive like Noah and the ark." I recalled his bright smile towards me and my lame attempts at flirting, but they worked. He smiled, to show me how little stock he put in the histories or so we had both thoughts. "Another legend claims that he descended from wolves and that the wolves are his brothers still. It's against tribal law to kill them. Then there are the stories about the cold ones." My voice shook now because his words were so true.

"According to legend, his own great-grandfather knew some of them. He was the one who made the treaty that kept them off our land. It was not hard to put two and two together especially since Edward made it clear he wasn't coming even though I had invited him. "The cold ones are traditionally his enemies. But this pack that came to his territory during his great-grandfather's time was different. They didn't hunt the way others of their kind did they weren't supposed to be dangerous to the tribe. So his great-grandfather made a truce with them. If they would promise to stay off his lands, he wouldn't expose them to the pale-faces." I remembered just how cynical Jacobs was during this conversation. Marcus's eyes were essentially drinking in all of my words. He really did want to hear my story.

"I had a nightmare that night that confirmed a lot for me, Edward was a Vampire and Jacob was a Shapeshifter. Both claimed each other to be monsters but I couldn't help myself. I spent a lot of time researching and I wish I hadn't." My face shifted back to that night and I remember bits and pieces of the facts that I had put together. "Edward did not eat, his eyes changed colour, they were even gold, nobody has eyes like that, his skin was freezing and eerily beautiful. There was always something about all of them that screamed they weren't human." I sighed.

"What did you research exactly to find this out? Had he exposed anything else about himself?" Marcus was more than curious and his questions were reminding me of other red flags.

"He had incredible speed and strength and it was always like he knew what other people were thinking, he answered things oddly." I surmised before he had revealed he could read minds I did notice he would do that. "He did reveal that was because he could read minds." Marcus pursed his lips, he was still speculating.

"If there is in this world a well-attested account, it is that of the vampires. Nothing is lacking: official reports, affidavits of well-known people, of surgeons, of priests, of magistrates; the judicial proof is most complete. And with all that, who is there who believes in vampires? Rousseau. The rest of the site was an alphabetized listing of all the different myths of vampires held throughout the world. The first I clicked on, the Danang, was a Filipino vampire supposedly responsible for planting taro on the islands long ago. The myth continued that the Danang worked with humans for many years, but the partnership ended one day when a woman cut her finger and a Danang sucked her wound, enjoying the taste so much that it drained her body completely of blood. I read carefully through the descriptions, looking for anything that sounded familiar, let alone plausible. It seemed that most vampire myths centred around beautiful women as demons and children as victims; they also seemed like constructs created to explain away the high mortality rates for young children, and to give men an excuse for infidelity. Many of the stories involved bodiless spirits and warnings against improper burials. There wasn't much that sounded like the movies I'd seen, and only a very few, like the Hebrew Estrie and the Polish Upier, who were even preoccupied with drinking blood." After trying to process all of that information again I also remembered that only three entries really caught my attention. "The Romanian Varacolaci, a powerful undead being who could appear as a beautiful, pale-skinned human, the Slovak Nelapsi, a creature so strong and fast it
could massacre an entire village in the single hour after midnight, and one other, the Stregoni benefice. About this last, there was only one brief sentence that Stregoni benefici: An Italian vampire, said to be on the side of goodness, and a mortal enemy of
all evil vampires." It was a relief, that one small entry, the one myth among hundreds that claimed the existence of good
vampires.

"He was apart of our tribe for many years and when he met Carlisle he was suddenly a reformed man of God." Marcus shook his head. His eyes burned with passion and for that it made me want to continue.

"We got to know each other fast. Faster than I thought we would. He found me one night when I was out on a girls night. Some men had followed me through the streets on my way back home. Edward had threatened them and had me convince him not to go back and kill them once we got out of there. He nearly ran them over with his car..." I chuckled a little darkly. " I did defend myself though, I got a few good shots in." I thought deeply back to that night Edward was exposed to those thoughts that those evil bastards had. Edward had seen what they had done to me and it turns out he was no different. I remember the shock I eventually felt from that first date when I came home.

The 3 conclusions that I came to haunt me now as we watched the sun begin to set-

"About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was part of him - and I didn't know how potent that part might be - that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him." I was beginning to get lost in all of my memories and the world around me, and the reality of it was beginning to fade. Something was wrong, very wrong. My head felt as if a rubber band had snapped inside of me and my eyes turned red. An explosion rang all around me. My hands clutched at my head and Heidi entered the room immediately and she shot something in my arm.

"Isabella?" I heard. Someone was calling my name. "ISABELLA!?" Marcus was shaking me but it was too late. I crossed the threshold in my mind slipping into the darkness.

"Heidi something is wrong, do SOMETHING!" Marcus was in a panicked state, I could hear him but he sounded so far away. His voice echoed off the walls. Just like Alice, down the Rabbit Hole, I went.

---

Bella's Mind - Memory 1: (Chapter 1- The Beginning)

I awoke in my lounge room as it was all those months ago. I sat up fast and was gasping for air. Where was Marcus? Better question. Where was I? Why am I back here? The fog was seeping out of the floor vents as if I was in a daze. There was a newspaper on the coffee table just where Charlie kept it. The date read January 18th, 2005. The headline screamed: "ANIMAL ATTACK - BEWARE !" Not much happens in this town, but after my arrival, odd occurrences of animal attacks had started. I knew that was what was stressing Charlie, Billy and Harry out. Wait... If today is that date... I've gone straight back to the beginning? The clock on the wall chimed as per usual and it was 7:30 am. A school day. Monday. Why had I brought myself back to this moment?

There was a note from Charlie - he went into the station early. Thank God - it meant that I was alone to gather my thoughts. I noticed my backpack from school was sitting on the floor near the door. I grabbed it sussing my notebooks. English, Biology, Trig, all of them were the usual subjects I was taking... Biology. Something clicked inside my mind. Today was the first time I met Edward.

What had happened in my room? I was just with Marcus. My phone was buzzing on the counter. It was Renee, I mean Mum. Why was she calling me this early? I usually checked in with her via email. I clicked the answer button and answered quickly.

"Mum? Hello?" I sounded scared so I cleared my throat waiting for a response.

"Bella? Bella? Where are you?" My mind flashed back to hearing her voice in the Ballet Studio. My breathing became more and more erratic.

"Mum!?" My voice was shaky, and the connection sounded weak on her end. It was all crackly as her voice was breaking through.

"Bella? Oh thank god, I can hear you, honey... I was worried for a second there." Her chirpy voice filtered the phone as if nothing had happened. Was this all in my head?

"Mum can I call you back, I have to get to school." My tone was insistent and I knew she would just hang up. She did. I slid my phone into the pocket of my sweat pants.

Damn it! I tried to focus back to the last moment Marcus and I had and my head began to ache. I rubbed my temple with my fingers to help dull the ache. Was this real? I jumped fast as a figure appeared beside me. Grandma Swan. I had seen her before, in my dreams and when I was a little girl she was too sick.

She did not acknowledge me yet. She was busy knitting away a scarf... It was disconcerting, to say the least. Why was she here? She never lived with us when I moved back in with Charlie?

"Grandma?" My voice was soft, childlike.

"Yes, dear?" She looked up at me with mischief in her eyes.

"What- How... Are you real?" My mind was racing 100 miles a minute.

"Yes and no honey. You've gone and put yourself in a coma..." Gammy stopped knitting then and looked me up and down.

"You get your beauty from me and your mother of course," she grinned. "You also get your stubbornness from my boy." She laughed softly. She reminded me of a lot of Char- Dad. I'd have to get used to calling him Dad. "I'm glad to see what has become of my future generation." She muttered, sarcastically.

"So you're a hallucination? This is all in my mind?" I was looking at the clock on the wall. The time had not changed a bit... neither had the fog disappeared. This was weird, even for Vampire Girl.

"You can return to your body once you've completed your spirit journey dear, but until that is done that is up to you. As for this being your mind... Not exactly. " Gammy was not making any sense. Did Heidi slip me something stronger than I thought? What was a spiritual journey? Gammy grinned sensing my impending questions.

"Sit still dear, this will be a long story. Spirit journeys are not as common as they used to be, mainly because the blood of your ancestors has been weakened over the generations. You see the Quileute tribe are a Native American people, currently numbering approximately 750. Well definitely take from that total. The Quileute (also spelled Quillayute) people settled onto the Quileute Indian Reservation after signing the Treaty of Quinault River of 1855 (later reauthorized as the treaty of Olympia in 1856) with the United States of America. The reservation is located near the southwest corner of Clallam County, Washington at the mouth of the Quileute River on the Pacific coast." Her words spun around my mind and I gripped my head with my right hand.

"You mean Lapush?" The dots were beginning to connect now. I had just mentioned those stories to Marcus.

Did Gammy know more about this world than she let on? Did she know what crawls around in the shadow at night? How did this affect me other than what Edward did to me?

"Isabella?" Gammy waved her hand across my face and I was not sure how much time had passed. I nodded for her to continue as I could not count on my voice not to be shaky. "According to Quileute legend, the spirit warriors were the first to shift from humans into wolves. The Quileute population was always small, but they never disappeared since it was believed they had magic in their bloodlines. The Quileute tribe settled in La Push and became efficient fishermen and shipbuilders. As time passed, other peoples coveted their land and moved against them for it. The tribe was small and could not defend themselves, so they took their ships and left the land. At sea, Kaheleha used the magic in their blood to defend it. He was the first Spirit Chief in Quileute history. He and all the men left the ships in spirit only, using the original power of Quileute Astral Projection, leaving their bodies behind under the care of the women." Her tone was full of pride and passion.

"Gammy, I do not understand how does this affect me?" My voice cracked. Had I cracked finally? I rubbed my temples even harder. Being here... wherever it was taking its toll on me.

"This will be the only way to save your mind sweetie. I was giving you a background into the history since it is important. A spiritual journey is a journey you would take to find out who you are, what your problems are in life, and how to come to peace with the world. The purpose of a spiritual journey is rare to find an answer; rather, it is a process of continually asking questions." Gammy grinned. I sighed sinking into the chair.

"So I most likely will relive most of my memories?" I shuddered. Gammy stopped knitting then.

"You will not be alone Bella... I will be one of your guides through this journey. Don't you want to find out why?" I snapped my head at her and shook the anger away from me.

"Why what?" I threw up my hands. Talking to her was like going around on a merry go round over and over again. She didn't seem to have a simple answer, which was frustrating me. Hadn't I been through enough?

"You'll see dear, now look at the clock please and take my hand." Gammy reached out for me and I grabbed her hand in a panic. We were now standing outside of Fork's Highschool. I remembered the date I had arrived in... We really were going all the way back. It was an odd sensation of deja vu, staring at myself, sitting in front of the first building. I watched as I stepped unwillingly out of the toasty truck cab and walked down a little stone path lined with dark hedges. I took a deep breath before opening the door. I remembered the office is small; a little waiting area with padded folding chairs, orange-flecked commercial carpet, notices and awards cluttering the walls, a big clock ticking loudly. Plants grew everywhere in large plastic pots as if there wasn't enough greenery outside. The room was cut in half by a long counter, cluttered with wire baskets full of papers and brightly coloured flyers taped to its front. There were three desks behind the counter, one of which was manned by a large, red-haired woman wearing glasses. She was wearing a purple t-shirt, which immediately made me feel overdressed.

"Mrs Cope?" Gammy grinned and we walked through the door, our bodies sifted through. Gammy mentioned Astral projection... Was that what we were doing now? I reached over to stroke the fake plant and my hand slid through it as if I were a ghost... so many questions were forming in my mind that I needed a pen to write them all down.

I watched as I jumped out of my car, looking myself over before I had even met Edward sparked something deep inside of me. I was pretty. Normal. But pretty. Human... I could see it now. It was really odd hearing myself echo in the room, was I always this robotic and tense?

The red-haired woman looked up. "Can I help you?" She was sweet, Mrs Cope.

"I'm Isabella Swan," My not so real self-informed her and saw the immediate awareness light in Mrs Cope's eyes. I remember being expected, a topic of gossip no doubt. Daughter of the Chief's flighty ex-wife, come home at last. I wanted to scream at myself. Don't let it affect you. You are not your mother!

"Of course," she said. She dug through a precariously stacked pile of documents on her desk till she found the ones she was looking for. "I have your schedule right here, and a map of the school." She brought several sheets to the counter. I looked down at my subjects and wish I could have changed them right then and there. Gammy laid her hand on my corporeal form then, tutting, I assumed to stop me.

"Isabella, you must wait. You can't make changes to this timeline. What has happened, was meant to be." Her voice was soft and soothing.

"But.. Gammy you- you don't know, what he does to me..." I shook my head and tried to hold back the tears. She nodded and slipped an arm around my shoulder.

I watched as Mrs Cope went through my classes for me, highlighting the best route to each on the map, and gave me a slip to have each teacher sign, which I was to bring back at the end of the day. She smiled at me and hoped, like Charlie, that I would like it here in Forks. I watched as I faked the smile back as convincingly as I could. This wasn't even the real me. How long had I pretended to be me? or to be fine?

"Why is this moment important?" I turned to Gammy. She looked at me then, her shoulder's squared back.

"You must see it surely? The humanity that you hide?" she was stern. "This is where you decided your worth. You compared yourself to every female and male here without question. Without seeing yourself. Do you wish to spend eternity hating yourself?" Gammy was angry. "I know from experience how long I spent looking in a mirror wishing I could be like all of the other girls and those were years wasted." Her tone softened again, this time she sounded remorseful. I shook my head. I didn't know much about Gammy.

"Dad, never really mentioned you Gammy, said it was too hard to talk about the past... He said I reminded him of you sometimes. When I wouldn't let anyone take advantage of me." I laughed a little. I did demand that Dad spent time with me more when I was younger. Gammy shook her head, her face hardened. She seemed to have a heavy heart. I grabbed her hand.

"I would love to know more about you Gammy." Her face lightened and tears were in her eyes.

"Really?" She spluttered then, straight into her handkerchief. "I'll tell you more later, honey. This is about you. We got to get you back home." She turned towards the office clock and off we went again. I smiled and for the first time in a long time, it felt real.

Bella's Mind - Memory 2 (Chapter 2- Open Book)

We appeared back home.

"Gammy..." I was frustrated more so because we were just here. She tutted again.

"It's not me who's leading you, honey, as I said, I am one of your guides through this." The house was filled with the spicy scent of steak and potatoes. Dad's favourite.

"So there's no proper order to this? We could be going back and forth from home?" I asked for much more politely. I didn't want Gammy to judge me off of my foul attitude. She wasn't the reason I was here. I was.

This was one of the first nights I had ever cooked for Charlie. He knew Renee couldn't cook so why was it important for me to see this again? It was just dinner. Gammy headed towards the kitchen and like her ball of yarn I floated with her. I don't think this is a sensation that I would be getting used too. I watched from the corner of the kitchen and my heart was beginning to feel heavy.

"What's for dinner?" he asked warily. My face was filled with sadness - a look I knew too well. I was thinking of a time where he would remember Mum's terrible cooking.

"Steak and potatoes," I answered, and he looked relieved. I answered off of autopilot, I noticed. Was I this shut off? I crossed my arms over my chest, the hole Edward had left me was throbbing.

Dad seemed to feel awkward standing in the kitchen doing nothing; he lumbered into the living room to watch TV while I worked - that was normal right? Gammy cleared her throat with disapproval.

"We were both more comfortable that way, Gammy. We don't talk that much...It's always been that way." I sighed, knowing Dad wasn't the problem.

"Sweetheart, he wasn't raised this way. He does know how to cook. He just doesn't have the same confidence." Gammy sounded bitter.

"Mum shattered him when she left him when WE both left him." I shuddered remembering what I said to him before I left to help Edward with James. Dad didn't deserve that.

I watched as I made a salad while the steaks cooked, and set the table. I called him in when dinner was ready, and he sniffed appreciatively as he walked into the room.

"Smells good, Bell." He smiled sincerely this time and that warmed my heart. That was his special nickname for me.

"Thanks." I watched as we both fumbled at the table, blushing.

Gammy watched us intensely as we both ate in silence for a few minutes.

"It wasn't uncomfortable. Neither of us was bothered by the quiet. In some ways, we are well suited to living together." I sounded like I was making excuses.

"So, how did you like school? Have you made any friends?" he asked as he was taking seconds. I watched as I nodded awkwardly.

"Hmph." Was all the words that Gammy had to offer. I could see she was disappointed and she had every right to be. My relationship was bad with both of my parents because I let it get that way.

"Be uh careful when you go out Bells. I want you to be safe." He handed me a can of pepper spray. Dad was caring, thoughtful and protective. It was odd really. I wondered then how Marcus was feeling as my chest was aching. How long would I be stuck here? Was he going just as crazy? My chest felt like it was on fire. Could I give up life without my father in it? Even before our relationship truly began?

I leant against the kitchen sink as if it would give me some form of comfort.

"Come on, Bella. It's time to move on." Gammy seemed to sense the inner conflict I was having.

"So you know?" I finally asked what was on my mind. "If you know about the Shapeshifters, you'd have to know who they protect us from..." I mused. Gammy grabbed my hand and lifted my sleeve, two crescent shape marks were still there. Even in this form, I could not escape him.

"I've known about their existence for years since I was about your age. My best friend's life was taken and before that, she was in danger. Sarah. Sarah Black was killed just for knowing their existence." Gammy sat down on the lounge chair.

"S-Sarah? Jacob's mum... I thought she died in a car accident?" I gasped out in shock. My heartfelt was even heavier as I processed her words. Billy had become an alcoholic after he lost Sarah. Dad said she was carrying twins again as well which further stemmed Billy's alcoholic addiction.

"Yes, dear. Unfortunately, Billy believes that it was a car accident but her autopsy report said otherwise..." Gammy was sour.

"How come he doesn't know?" I was angry then Billy was like a second Dad to me. He deserves to know the truth. Gammy hesitated to answer. I sensed it would get her in trouble but she was a ghost.

"This is more than just us isn't it?" I asked. Gammy nodded. "More than a war between Vampires and Shapeshifters?" I was curious as to how far back this went.

"Now is not the time Isabella." Gammy was stern but honest. "We have to move on from here, I'm not saying we can't talk about it but we're here for you." Her tone softened. I hesitated and just stopped talking. I would ask questions later since she was right.

"What happens if I can't get back to my body?" My voice was small. Timid.

"We will worry about it if it comes to that." Gammy seemed determined to get me back home.

Bella's Mind - Memory 3 (Chapter 4- Invitations)

I watched as the image of Dad and I faded and we have pulled ahead not too much further in time. We were back in my bedroom now, the rain was pummeling hard on the window and I was getting more and more annoyed with myself as this journey went on. Nausea did not sit well with me and this constant time loop was exhausting. Instead of Gammy being by my side there was a striking redhead, one who all seemed too familiar but different than I remembered. I gaped.

"Uh... Where's Gammy?" I was watching myself tumble and toss in the bed. I knew then and that this was the night, the first night that I had dreamt of Edward Cullen. This was going to be awkward no matter what hey? Who was this? The woman sitting in my rocking chair now had to be Sarah. I looked closer at her and noted she had Jacob's smile and the sense of being a Sun.

"Sarah?" She smiled and walked out into the light.

"Do you remember me huh?" Her voice was soft, angelic. My heart had warmed at the sound of it, and no doubt would Jacob's, had he had been here to hear.

"Roughly." I only had one memory come to surface when I thought of her. She had chased Jacob and I around endlessly on the rare summer days Forks had. She mentioned something about letting us make mud pies. and tying sunflowers in my hair. She was a lot of fun. Focusing my energy back on her, I noticed her eyes were glassy.

"That's a shame." She hung her head. The front of her bright red hair covered parts of her face.

"It's not you. It's just Billy, doesn't like to talk about the past anymore. We do fear to bring up your name. But it doesn't mean your memory is not cherished and loved. Jacob will always light up in a way I never could when he talks about you. Or what he remembers." I reached out to grab her hand then and remembered this was not reality. This was all in my head. Why? Why was I thinking of a woman who had only cared for me a bunch of times when I was 3?

"It's ok Bella. I understand." Her voice was smaller. I watched as it finally dawned on me that this was after the car accident. Tyler's van. Edward's lies and promise of enduring my existence. I rubbed my hand over my head. This was going to be a long journey.

"What's happening here, honey? Why would you choose to chase down a man so dangerous?" Sarah's voice was harsh but without judgement. She was concerned. Gammy did mention her end.

"I don't know. I got it... I got caught up in what I... I thought was love." I hung my head in shame.

"Did Gammy reveal too much of my history? or? We all know she likes to gossip." She shook her head and I wondered what stories she could tell me about Gammy and Charlie. Life before me. I watched it again as I was tossing and turning.

I remembered that in my dream it was very dark, and what dim light there was seemed to be radiating from Edward's skin. I couldn't see his face, just his back as he walked away from me, leaving me in the blackness. No matter how fast I ran, I couldn't catch up to him; no matter how loud I called, he never turned. Troubled, I woke in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep again for what seemed like a very long time. After that, he was in my dreams nearly every night, but always on the periphery, never within reach. I awoke gasping as I could not reach him yet again. How was he so close yet so far apart? Was this a sign?

"I was only 17 here... How was I supposed to know better? I could not share this news with anyone without looking like a madhouse." I watched as my obsession with Edward grew day by day. How even just a little bit of acknowledgement heightened my desire to be with him. Looking back at myself now I could see the signs, the way his scent lingered too close to me, how he would brush his hand against mine in the biology room... Biology. That was where we have headed again.

"It's ok Bella. We all make mistakes, me, most of all." Sarah's eyes mirrored the sorrow I felt in mine. She knew exactly what knowing this secret had cost her. Watching the corridors fast forward moments in the time left me in a haze. Seeing the way my obsession grew right in front of me showed just how toxic our relationship was becoming.

"Sarah, why are we here? Why are you showing me this?" I begged. The ache in my chest grew as each passing moment was filled with me. I did not want to remember Edward nor be the centre of attention.

"To remember who you are, Isabella." Sarah's face was stern. "History depends on it, now keep questing each moment and I will return to the Shadow Realm and I will not continue to guide you on this journey." Sarah grabbed my hand as if I were a kid again. I was not used to being scolded in such a manner by a mother figure.

"I'm sorry, I just do not understand what this all means." I sighed and followed submitting to her guidance. Seeing Sarah has me believing that I was in some sort of trance hell it felt like an out-of-body experience, my whole soul felt trembled to my core. I had a strange feeling that this was the beginning of everything that I had dreaded feeling and thinking about and being around the Cullens again after Edward had violated me was a big enough distraction considering Marcus now held my attention. I was wondering what kind of hell he was going to be in, was this a coma? Or a genuine near-death experience. Sarah pulled me forward by my wrist and said to me,

"Time for blood testing. Your second opportunity to stay away from Edward, but until this point, he had kept his distance from you, Bella." She was blunt and direct, and what I was hoping for this to be ending soon.

Bella's Mind - Memory 4 (Chapter 5- Blood Type)

We both landed towards the back of the classroom again and I was beginning to get sick of being in this classroom. Being behind Mr Banner. I watched and remembered as his tone for once wasn't the cheerful dribble he usually had, trying to make us fall in love with his class, but it was boring most of the time. That was Forks.

"Thank you for joining us, Miss Swan," Mr Banner said in a disparaging tone. I watched as I flushed and hurried to my seat. Was I really this awkward and pathetic?

I watched as I was just sitting there in a daze, obviously, the conversation that Edward and I had prior to this wasn't sitting well in my stomach. That day was the day he had finally admitted it and by doing so it did tarnish a few human relationships that I had. I remembered that it wasn't till class ended that I realized Mike wasn't sitting in his usual seat next to me. I felt a twinge of guilt watching myself feel this way. But he and Eric both met me at the door as usual, so I figured I wasn't totally unforgiven for my answer towards this weekend. Mike seemed to become more himself as we walked, gaining enthusiasm as he talked about the weather report for this weekend. The rain was supposed to take a minor break, and so maybe his beach trip would be possible. I tried to sound eager, to make up for disappointing him yesterday. It was hard; rain or no rain, it would still only be in the high forties, if we were lucky.

Sarah tutted at me and sat on the edge of Mr Banner's desk, watching him move around the room. Was it really at this point I was playing around with the theories of spider bites and Kryptonite? Thinking Edward was the hero of my life and he did save me before with the van, but watching this play out I really wondered if it was really saving the lamb for slaughter. Watching Mr Banner juggling a few small cardboard boxes in his arms. He put them down on Mike's table, telling him to start passing them around the class was comical because I should have left the room even at this point reconfirming that I had already done this last year and I knew my blood type and I could have happily skipped class by myself and completely avoided Edward.

"Okay, guys, I want you all to take one piece from each box," he said as he produced a pair of rubber gloves from the pocket of his lab jacket and pulled them on. Sarah was watching and smirked. The sharp sound as the gloves snapped into place against his wrists seemed ominous to me. "The first should be an indicator card," he went on, grabbing a white card with four squares marked on it and displaying it. "The second is a four-pronged applicator -" he held up something that looked like a nearly toothless hair pick "- and the third is a sterile micro-lancet." He held up a small piece of blue plastic and split it open. The barb was invisible from this distance, but my stomach flipped and just because I was watching myself my own stomach flipped, I grabbed at my head watching myself was becoming all too much for me. How can I consider becoming a Vampire when I can't even stomach the sight of blood? I think this is the lesson that Sarah is trying to tell me.

"I'll be coming around with a dropper of water to prepare your cards, so please don't start until I get to you." He began at Mike's table again, carefully putting one drop of water in each of the four squares. "Then I want you to carefully prick your finger with the lancet..." He grabbed Mike's hand and jabbed the spike into the tip of Mike's middle finger. Oh no. I watched as clammy moisture broke out across my forehead. Everything was becoming blurry.

"Put a small drop of blood on each of the prongs." He demonstrated, squeezing Mike's finger till the blood flowed. I swallowed convulsively, my stomach heaving. Grabbing the edge of his table wasn't something I could do in this form and I swayed I really was going to be sick.

"And then apply it to the card," he finished, holding up the dripping red card for us to see. I closed my eyes, trying to hear through the ringing in my ears.

"The Red Cross is having a blood drive in Port Angeles next weekend, so I thought you should all know your blood type." He sounded proud of himself. "Those of you who aren't eighteen yet will need a parent's permission - I have permission slips at my desk." He continued through the room with his water drops. I watched myself put my cheek against the cool black tabletop and tried to hold on to my consciousness. All around me I could hear squeals, complaints, and giggles as my classmates skewered their fingers. I breathed slowly in and out through my mouth. I was going to embarrass myself.

"Bella, are you all right?" Mr Banner asked. His voice was close to my head, and it sounded alarmed. Reliving this was enough but the second-hand embarrassment was enough to drive me crazy.

"Sarah..." my voice was hard. I needed her to do something about this. Why was I always so sick?

"I know Bella but you have to see all of this. Take it all in here, I'll skip ahead a few more minutes." Sarah waved her hand and I watched as I was watching Mike's skeeving hands trying to put them in the back of jeans. Being out in the breeze seemed to help me wind down but Mike's unwanted attention was making me nauseous all in itself.

"Most boys don't turn into men until they are a lot older Bella but you need to be more capable of taking care of yourself and defending yourself." Sarah sighed and was walking along the sidewalk.

Mike helped me sit on the edge of the walk and I sat down beside myself this time I was able to feel the cold concrete.

"And whatever you do, keep your hand in your pocket," I warned. I was still so dizzy. I slumped over on my side, putting my cheek against the freezing, damp cement of the sidewalk, closing my eyes. That seemed to help a little. I knew then that Mike really would have taken his chance with me a whole lot further and the notion made me even greener. He would take advantage of a girl in my position.

"Wow, you're green, Bella," Mike said nervously. He moved to sit closer to me on the pavement and I shuddered.

"Bella?" a different voice called from the distance. I watched as Edward drifted up the sidewalk his in a messy array on his head, clearly, he had been hiding out and I should have realised he was waiting for me.

No! Please let me be imagining that horribly familiar voice. I scrunched up my face wishing that I could not see him. Why was he here? Why did he have to know exactly when I was hurting. Watching the replays of my life was slow and it was dull. Looking back at the love Edward and I were developing it just wasn't something that I should have been romanticising.

"What's wrong - is she hurt?" His voice was closer now, and he sounded upset. I watched as I wasn't imagining it. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping to die. Or, at the very least, not to throw up. Sarah was chuckling and I almost had forgotten she was with me on this journey.

Mike seemed stressed. "I think she's fainted. I don't know what happened, she didn't even stick her finger." He shoved his hands back into his pockets as if he had never intended to lay any of his hands on me.

"Bella." Edward's voice was right beside me, relieved now. "Can you hear me?" The closer he was getting to me the closer I could how he lured me in. The predator side of his was always there and I just never saw it. How could I? He was exactly what he said he was and focussing on why I was here in the first place had me reeling. Was Sarah trying to confirm my biggest fears that my relationship was my fault, to begin with?

"No," I groaned. "Go away." See... I could defend myself and I did have some sort of self-preservation button on the inside that was screaming predator. Run.

He chuckled. That stupid chuckle drove me mad. Like he was always one step ahead of everyone else and reading minds well I guess it didn't take much for him to know more than anyone else.

"I was taking her to the nurse," Mike explained in a defensive tone, "but she wouldn't go any farther." Mike shoved his hands back in his pocket as if he never had any intention of putting his hands on me. What a liar. I shook my head up and down and as I watched Edward face I noticed the briefest change as to when he was actually reading Mike's mind.

"I'll take her," Edward said. I could hear the smile still in his voice. "You can go back to class." He warned his tone borderline furious. I should have known better than to have thought Mike wouldn't have hurt me or have taken advantage of me.

"No," Mike protested. "I'm supposed to do it." Mike's flight or fight response kicked in then but even I could sense in the haze I was in from seeing myself that Mike would back away. Edward was and has always been a predator and seeing the red flags before I was so shocking. This is what he must have meant when we would go into shock. Seeing Edward walk towards me was unreal and surreal all at the same time. Even in this form, my body wanted to drift towards him. That was the allure he had said. Everything about his drew me in and I was ashamed at my response for wanting more.

"That's the shock you should have felt the day you two met let alone when you were just sitting together in the lunchroom." Sarah snickered but then shot me a look of pity. "Don't get me wrong Bella, I've made plenty of mistakes of my own and I two know how good it feels to have men fight over you... Well, boys." She smiled and then a look of sadness crossed her face. "But it is not something you would want to be in the middle in." She warned.

I knew this story really well and Dad did disclose a few summers or two where he had been the one to date, Sarah, before Billy and then he had met Renee when she had come down to Lapush on a whim to try surfing for the first time when they were 16 years old and apparently the rest was history. Sarah had been knocked up with the twins by the end of the summer and I was born just a few years later when she was pregnant with Jacob but that did not stop Renee from banishing all women around Charlie at that time. My heartfelt pity for Sarah at that moment because her life could have been completely different and that made me remember what Gammy had said earlier; 'Sarah Black was killed just for knowing their existence.' I struggled then to keep my emotions in check and watching my life before I was getting beyond too much to handle.

"How did you know Vampires existed? Gammy said that was why everything had happened, the car accident..." I just thought it was better, to be honest, considering this was all supposedly happening in my head.

The school's image blurred before me as if someone had jumped in a puddle before me. The aftermath sucked me in and suddenly we were standing on the edge of the beach. Would I ever get used to feeling this way? We walked up the pathway for about 10 minutes or so before she spoke.

"This was the summer of when everything had happened, you know roughly who my grandfather was?" I shook my head, Dad never really mentioned the history of everyone, apparently, it was still a sore subject.

"It's been a sore subject ever since you died Sarah." My voice was small. I was scared to know everything now, thinking back on my childhood was not one of my favourite past times.

"Well..." she said. "Quil Ateara II is one of the three wolves, including Ephraim Black and Levi Uley, that protected their tribe and witnessed Ephraim make the treaty with the Cullens, a coven of vegetarian vampires. He is the son of Quil Ateara I and Ohle Akiha, the brother of Amelia Ateara, the husband of Lucy Fox, the father of Quil Ateara III, the grandfather of Quil Ateara IV, Jane Wilde, and Sarah Wilde, also known as me, He is also the great-grandfather of Quil Ateara V, and the maternal great-grandfather of Rachel Black, Rebecca Black, and Jacob Black to be precise. Quil II was the most stubborn and old fashioned man I had ever met. He practically raised us when my own mother had abandoned us when we were young, or so I was told." She huffed, kicking up some of the autumn leaves on the ground.

This was my favourite time in the year before everything was engulfed into rain and dread, Forks actually did have a few days in the year where the weather was absolutely perfect. We strolled up and she unlocked the fence to the front of a beautiful house, much like Emily's and Sam's. I stood back and realised why it had looked so familiar and realised that this was Emily's and Sam's house just shinier so to speak. The porch swing out the front was still swinging in the wind and the creek had the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Something about this house seemed off though, whereas with Emily and Sam there was a certain kind of warmth that you had when you walked in through the home.

Emily's house was a tiny house, that had once been grey. There was only one narrow window beside the weathered blue door, but the window box under it was filled with bright orange and yellow marigolds, giving the whole place a cheerful look. Whereas what I was seeing now was that the frame was initially painted white with lace curtain covering the only window, with the bright blue door embedded with a family sigil. The red fern trees on either side looked out of place considering they had been cut down in my timeline. The porch swing had a blanket on it that looked as if it had been handmade by one of Sarah's grandmothers. A fresh cup of tea was waiting on the porch as if someone was expecting us or we were intruding on a private moment.

"This is where everything in my life had changed Bella and I am only showing you this because this is what I want you to avoid," Sarah muttered her tone passive aggressive but I knew she wasn't thinking of me at this moment she was mourning a life she could have had.

Suddenly the front door had swung open with haste and Quil II had stormed out with his shotgun in his hand as Billy's trucked was tinkering down the driveway.

"Get out of the truck Sarah and go inside with your Grandmother." He demanded. He clocked the gun as if he wouldn't hesitate to shoot. Sarah stepped outside of the car and walked slowly towards him. Billy stepped out of the truck to step in front of her in case she needed back up and I had a sense that he knew that she could handle herself.

"I will go inside but only to collect my things, Grandfather." She crossed her arms over her chest in defiance.

"Is this really how you want things to go down? Huh? I raised you." He got in her face now and Billy stepped in front of her.

"Don't speak to her like that." He was seething with rage and his whole body started to shake like Jacob's did when he was really triggered. Billy must have either been phasing before or was about to for the first time. Nobody had ever mentioned that he was apart of the Shapeshifter community other than being a descendant from Emphirum Black. I huffed and look at Sarah's ghost, she was watching the curtain in the front window dance open and shut as if someone was peeking through. A younger and less silver version of Gammy appeared on the porch swings with a box and suitcase in her other hand. Sarah's belongings I realised then why they were there. She was being kicked out of her house. At 17... My age. Would Charlie ever do that to me if I was to end up being pregnant? Were people really this callous back then that family didn't matter?

Sarah was going through the box that Gammy had passed on to Billy and grabbed a thick red leather journal, bound and sewn with something I had never seen before but it held the same sigil that was on their front door. A family heirloom or journal? Was this one of the elders before their time and was this how Sarah found out about Vampires and Shapeshifters? I mean surely having Hank Wilde as her Grandfather she knew roughly what the legends were about. Hank did not shake back in anger though so I wondered then if he had soon stopped phasing or if it was because Billy's line came from an Alpha line.

"See, Grandfather had mentioned earlier in my life about the supernatural and everything that went bump in the night was being protected by the spirits of our ancestors, this night was the first night that I realised that my own mother had no abandoned us, Bella..." She turned and opened the journal and pulled out an old photograph. Sarah was about 3 years old in this picture, her hair in two tight braids, she was wearing one of her mother's shirts as a dress and she looked utterly adorable. Looking at the woman holding the child it was like a beacon shining through the fog in my mind. Looking into the eyes of her mother I only saw... red.

I gasped and brought the photo closer to my face and realised that Sarah's mother was a vampire. "So all this time?" I said my voice croaking from straining.

"He banished her off this lands and made sure she was never to return and the night that I had died I found her. Billy did not know the full extent of my obsession with finding my mother Bella and I really want to keep it this way. Seeing his life now from how it was surely knowing the truth behind why I died would make his life worse?" She shoved the photo back into the journal with haste.

"Gammy set this up, didn't she? She knew your mother was still alive." I guessed, hoping that I was wrong and she thought her child had just abandoned her own children. I surmised then that Gammy must have known her daughter was still alive. I mean she had a mother's intuition right?

"What was her name? I thought Doris was your real mother?" Sarah shook her head.

"The real reason why Gammy kept me away from them was that Doris and Hank adopted me when I was younger. My real mother's name was Victoria Anne Wilde, she was the daughter of a woman named Hilda." The dots in front of me were beginning to connect, Heidi, Marcus's Heidi was she a descendant from that side? She did not mention having kids before she was turned but the possibility was there. I turned the conversation back to Billy as I needed to find out more information.

"Billy has not been the same since you have been gone Sarah but I think he would appreciate the truth," I said, just honestly. I knew that's what I would have wanted and the kids deserved to know the truth too.

I knew looking at Sarah that this would be a longer journey than I had thought to get back to my body and knowing that Marcus was waiting for me yet again made my heart feel like shattering. I walked down the path with her and took her hand. I just had to accept what she was willing to show me and then yet again we were off.

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TBC: More chapters are coming just have to fine-tune things, some of the story will stay the same and I know people aren't exactly happy with my new chapters.