Chapter 2.

Later at the mall, Cartman was once again pacing outside the game store.

"Come on… Come on…"

One of the mall employees came up to him.

"Look kid, for the fortieth time pacing around the store isn't gonna make the wii come any faster,"

As he went back into the store Liane came up.

"Eric you're coming home right now."

"Can't I just stay and look at the sign a little longer?"

"It's almost bedtime, if you sleep than time will go by faster."

She once a again took his hand and led him away.

Cartman residence.

Cartman was still awake that night, He couldn't sleep, He turned in his bed and looked at his clock.

"... Oh God…"

"He tried to go back to sleep, but all night he kept tossing and turning in bed awake, when he looked at the clock it 2: 16, He got out of bed and went to the calendar, October 24 was when he pre ordered the wii, And it really was three weeks till November, He got on the computer and stared longingly at a picture of the wii, He tried more things to pass the time, Watch TV, Get a late night snack, and when he looked at his clock, it was 2:18.

"AAAAHHH! That does it! I AM NOT WAITING THREE WEEKS!"

The next morning he went to the bus stop where stan kyle and kenny were.

"You guys! You Guys! You guys you gotta help me."

Dude you don't look so good Cartman." Said Stan.

"I can't take it anymore you guys, the wait for nintendo wii is literally killing me."

"We'll there nothing you can do so you'll just have to be patient." Said Kyle.

"No, There is something I can do."

"What?" Asked Kenny.

"Alright listen, you know how in space movies they put astronauts in suspended animation so that their trip seems really short, right? I think I figured out how to do it?

"Do what?"

"Freeze myself, If I freeze myself than in three weeks when nintendo wii comes out, you guys can unfreeze me, the wait will seam instantaneous to me."

"No."

"It's simple science Kyle."

"You'll die! Retard."

"I'll die waiting for the wii to come out! Don't you see this is my only chance!"

"Dude no way."

"Yeah I hate you but I'm not gonna help kill you."

"I thought you were my friends! But I guess I was wrong, after everything we've been through together you evan help me freeze myself."

Cartman turned and marched away.

Later at school things were no better.

"Principal Victoria, We are a devout catholic family, Do you mind telling me why my daughter now thinks shes a retarded fish frog." asked Mr. triscotti.

"I told you this would happen didn't I?"

"Mr triscotti, I wasn't aware-"

"We have worked years to instill the teachings of jesus christ into our daughter and with one fell swoop you tried to destroy everything we did.

"I hear ya."

"Sir if you don't want your daughter to learn about evolution than we can pull her out of class."

"You most certainly will!"

"But dad, I want to learn everything." Said linda,

"No you don't shut up!"

And with that, the triscotti family left the room.

"Well I told you, we should leave evolution out of the classrooms."

"It has become obvious to me that you don't know enough about evolution to teach it, I'm having you replaced, Mr Dawkins."

On quee, Richard Dawkins himself walked into the room.

"Replaced?"

"Richard Dawkins is a world renowned evolutionary scientist."

"Charmed to meet you miss…"

"Shut up faggot! Principal Victoria I can teach my own class!"

"You are to sit in class and help Mr Dawkins with whatever he needs."

Later in the Classroom.

"Over billions of years life has evolved from simple one celled organisms to all the complex life we see around us."

"Whatever."

"It was change in hereditary traits that allowed the first mammals to breath in the air."

"Retarded fish frogs."

"Mrs Garrison, I believe that's a gross oversimplification."

"Well you're a faggot, Continue."

"You see children, Life has the amazing ability to change, to adapt, like changing us to the point that we walk upright."

"So you are saying that we're all related to monkeys."

"Well yes basically we are."

"You see monkeys in the zoo? They crap in their hands and throw em at people!"

"Mrs Garrison, this isn't theory, it is scientific fact."

"What about the fact that if I believe in this crap you're gonna go to hell? Doesn't that bother you a little?"

"Actually no, Because I'm an atheist."

At this Mrs Garrison sprung to her feet.

"Ah-Ha! I got you, you snake in the grass, I found you out!"

"I never covered it up."

"And If I'm a monkey I might as well act like a monkey huh?"

Mrs Garrison than start jumping around scratching herself and making monkey noises, and then…

"What on earth are you doing!"

"Don't ask me! I'm a fucking Monkey!"