Finn was up bright and early the next morning after sleeping off the pills from the aswang and Sam was more than surprised at her presence in the bunker's kitchen where she was perched on the counter top, sitting indian style, a white mug of coffee in her hands. "Morning." He gave her a smile which she returned somewhat cautiously.

"Morning, Sam." He could feel her watching him as he fixed himself a mug at the coffee station next to the table. "I'm really sorry about last night."

Sam turned to look at her before sitting down at the table with his coffee, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Why are you sorry? We got her, Finn."

Finn lowered her mug to her lap, her small hands clasped around it. "I got a little careless. I fucked up, Sam. Could've gotten you guys hurt. Or worse." Her answer was soft and her eyes sparkled with tears.

His sleepy smile didn't make her feel any less terrible. "Finn, you're just getting back in the game here. No one got hurt and we're all home safe. No worries." Her eyes moved from his, clearly avoiding something. "Or... is this about something else?" Curiosity threaded its way into his tone.

That made the brunette close her eyes. "I just feel... a little lost sometimes."

"Lost?"

"Lost in pretending that I'm okay." She swallowed hard. "Thank you for coming to get me at the bus station. I don't know where I'd be if..."

"You have a home here now." He waited until she looked up at him so he could gauge her emotions. "I mean it. Dean and I want ya safe."

Finn's eyes welled up with tears, but this time, they were happy ones. "You guys are amazing."

Sam took a slow sip from his mug. "If you say so." They were quiet for a moment. "I talked to Garth while you and Dean were at the hospital. He says he's been trying to get ahold of ya since I got you that new phone."

Finn sighed heavily. "I know. And I don't wanna talk to him."

"I know it might be a little weird, but he cares about you."

"He's pissed off at me."

Sam set his coffee down. "He isn't, Finn. He's concerned and he feels bad that he got pissed off at you last time you talked." He watched her stare down into her nearly empty mug. "He asked if the three of us would come out his way and have dinner with his family soon."

That made Finn's hazel eyes snap to his. "You know he and I used to date right?"

"I know."

"So I don't wanna go."

"Bess is wonderful and she-,"

"It's not about her."

"What's it about, then?"

Finn blinked rapidly before she finally spoke, her tone softer this time. "Because no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I wanted it... not everybody's stories have happy endings." Sam considered that, a thoughtful expression on his features. "And I certainly don't wanna see his happy fuckin' life with the white picket fence and some kids and a dog and this perfect wife..."

"You really loved him." It wasn't a question.

"He deserved better than me, Sam." Finn wiped her left eye with the heel of her hand. "I loved Garth enough to let him go. And it was the right choice because look how happy he is. The only way I can live with myself is knowing I did the right thing, even though it broke my heart."

"You still love him?"

"As my friend, is all." She sniffled. "I'm happy for him but the thing that haunts me is that this," She gestured to the kitchen around them. "This isn't normal. This isn't the way normal people live. We survive. And maybe that's what I need to accept. My life won't ever be normal. I thought that with Rick, I might actually have that, and look how that shit turned out." She sounded bitter and hell, Sam couldn't blame her.

"There's nothing wrong with surviving, Finn." Sam spoke quietly. "And things usually work themselves out."

Finn smiled sadly. "Not for people like us, Sam." Before he could reply, Dean's slippered feet shuffled up the hallway and Sam looked over at her as if to say, this conversation isn't over.

"Mornin'," Deans voice was even lower in the morning. He could feel the tension in the kitchen as he moved down the steps towards the coffee pot. "What's for breakfast?"

"What are you making?" Sam smartassed his brother, earning a look.

"I'm making my coffee." He glanced at Finn. "How you feelin', sweetheart?"

"Alive."

He took a sip of his coffee. "Alive's good." Dean saw Sam glance at Finn. "So what are you two pissed off about, hm?"

"Nothing." Finn's eyes moved to Sam's. Dean moved to the fridge and pulled out some eggs and bacon and she moved to look in the pantry. He pulled out a cast iron skillet for the front burner after tying his robe shut. He hummed as he worked and Finn watched him move around to coordinate the food before she spoke. "It's nothing... we were just talking about Garth."

"Speaking of which... he called and left me a message about how he wants us all to come out and visit him sometime soon." Dean gave her a sideways glance, sensing her upset.

She immediately looked to Sam. "He did, hm?"

"Yeah." The older man was slicing open the package of bacon with a paring knife. "That gonna be an issue?"

"I don't really think it's appropriate that I go."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Well, he invited all of us, so we're going." Dean confirmed, his tone leaving no room for an argument.

Or so Sam thought.

"I'm not going." Finn said firmly.

Dean finished laying the first ten strips of bacon in the hot pan. "It's not a request. We're all going, Finn."

"Dean," The brunette could feel herself getting even more upset. "I'm not going." He turned to look at her, a curious look on his face.

"Just gonna dodge this like you've been dodging all his calls?" He and Sam had had some time to talk while they were burying the body last night behind the apartment buildings and Sam had informed him of the conversation he'd had with Garth while Dean and Finn were scoping out the hospital the day before.

That did it. "I'm not fucking going and if you think otherwise, then you're going to gave to drag me out of here."

Dean, seemingly unbothered by her angry words, simply shrugged. "Okay." Finn turned her glare on Sam, who remained neutral. She looked back to Dean, who gave no notice of her anger. "You want your eggs over easy?"

"I'm not hungry." She stormed out of the kitchen and they heard the bedroom door slam and echo across the tiled hallway.

"You really have a way with women, Dean."

He chuckled as he flipped the bacon with tongs. "She's pissed off and wants to argue. Let her cool off." He wrapped up the other half of the bacon with plastic wrap before putting it back into the fridge. Sam didn't protest when he saw Dean pull the bacon before cracking their eggs directly into the bacon grease.

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There was a knock and Finn glared at her bedroom door. "Yes?"

"It's me."

"I'm not going."

"You wanna come down to the gym and spar with me a little?" The mattress squeaked and a few second passed before her door opened. Dean was standing there, his green eyes sparkling. "You looked like you wanted to kick my ass earlier anyway." There was a tiny smirk on his mouth that he couldn't help; Finn wasn't being a bitch, she was just passionate about being pissed off.

"I still might." Her tone was grumpy. He nodded his head in the direction of the workout room and Finn followed reluctantly.

They were quiet as they stepped inside and Dean turned to face her, the door closing behind them. He relaxed a bit and widened his stance a bit, putting his fists up some. "C'mon."

"I don't wanna do this, Dean."

"You walked down here." He circled her and she groaned loudly. Quick as a wink, Dean's strong arm slid around her neck and shoulder. Finn anticipated his movement and used his momentum to flip him over her on his back to the mat and it was his turn to groan. She was staring down at him and he wrapped a strong hand around her ankle and yanked a bit to throw her off balance. Finn fell to the side of him and found herself on her back with him over her, his hand around her throat. His thighs were between hers and she grunted, trying to loosen his hold before throwing her legs up around his torso and squeezing him as tight as she could.

He was grinning at her until Finn dug a heel into his lower back painfully, making his growl and loosen his hold. She rolled them over and he caught her wrists with both hands. She was straddling him now and he arched to throw her off and get the upper hand. They rolled again and Finn had given up tactics, punching his arms and torso repeatedly until he caught her hands. "Finn."

She was crying now and he moved off her and pulled her into his lap in the middle of the floor. His arms came around her and hugged her close. The brunette was pissed off and she needed someplace to vent that. "I fucking hate this."

"What?"

"That I have to be saved all the damn time."

"What are you talking about?"

"Garth tried to save me, you guys saved me at the bus station and again last night..."

"So what? We're a team."

"I just feel like I'm this helpless little girl." Finn whispered into the soft cotton of his tshirt. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have anything to apologize for, Finn. I just think your anger is in the wrong place."

Finn froze. She was fully expecting him to say something along the lines if suck it up. "What?"

"Who are you really mad at, here? Garth, that ex asshole or yourself?" His chin rested on the top of her hair as she thought about that. "You did the brave thing already. You ran. Now it's time to heal."

"Who are you?" She whispered, remembering all the whiskey and guilt she'd seen him go through years before. "Christo."

He smiled to himself. "If you have a broken arm, you take some time to rest, let it set and heal. Why should you just jump back into things when you still have all this weighing on you? I'm the one who should be sorry, Finn. Maybe I pulled ya back in too quick."

"I think I needed to go back in. Helping people always made me feel like what I did mattered. I just wanna know that my life matters, y'know?"

"Our lives all matter. This world wouldn't be the same if we weren't in it." Finn felt him hum a bit before pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. "Finn, you need to come with us to see Garth. I know it sucks, but you need to do this. Rip off the proverbial band aid."

"Let me think about it."

"That's all I ask."

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"I feel sick." Finn murmured and Dean heard her over the rumble of the engine anyways.

"Don't puke in my car." Sam gave him a pointed look. "I mean, if you need me to pull over, I will."

"I don't know about this, you guys." The ride to Garth's house took a few hours and it was just enough time for her mind to come up with all sorts of scenarios that would likely never happen. "Maybe I should wait in the car, or get me a motel room for the night..."

"We're just going to visit friends." Sam spoke soothingly. "We're gonna have dinner and hang out for the evening. Have a few beers and we'll be back home in the morning." Finn took a tiny sip of her bottled water. Her stomach had been turning for days, knowing she was going to be face to face with the man she'd been avoiding for more than a month now. Finn could barely eat sometimes when she thought about it or else she could eat an entire bag of chips without even noticing until they were all gone. There was literally no in between for the strange ways her anxiety reared it ugly head.

Dean had pulled off the highway several minutes ago and when they turned into a nice neighborhood with sidewalks near an elementary school, Finn felt her stomach sinking to her feet. They seemed to know Garth's neighborhood extremely well and navigate the tree lined streets easily. Had Garth Sam and Dean all been closer than she'd known about the last few years when she was with Rick? What else had she missed out on?

Before she could even question the boys, Finn found herself getting out the the impala's rear passenger side and the trio closing their doors. Her eyes took in the craftsman styled home with the big front porch with a couple brown wicker patio chairs with muted blue cushions as she trailed up the paved front walkway behind the brothers.

Dean reached out and rang the doorbell before the sounds of the door unlocked from the other side made Finn hold her breath.

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A/N:

Hey lovely readers,

First, thank you to SaphyraBlu13 and EmilyAnnMcGarrett-Winchester for your reviews on chapter 7! You guys are awesome! Also thanks to those who have added this story to their alerts.

Second, HOLY SHIT that season finale! I will not spoil anything for those of you who haven't watched it yet. Just wow. Best one yet! If you wanna freak out about it with me, PM me. ;)

This chapter was meant to be informational, so not much action. I will make up for that soon. Promise. ;)

Have a wonderful week!

CitrineMama