Burden

Hello everyone! I'm so sorry that again this chapter is late, I'm fucking married to my job and I barely have time for anything in this period. Also, when I'm pressured I tend to start multiple fics so as to complicate my life further, I swear my muses fuck with me hardcore. But now that the update is finally here, please enjoy! Love you all!

The guards diligently escort Izuku to the showers, then to the prison cafeteria, all the while giving him no privacy whatsoever. Not that he cares though, he's fallen into a sleepy sort of apathy again and it would be great if they'd just lock him back up in his cell and let him rest. Indefinitely.

But of course, he isn't that lucky.

He must pay for the past moments of happiness, which now already seem to have happened in another life. Izuku is well aware he's done quite a few bad things and now he must pick up the tab, probably both for himself and Himiko, but fuck, he couldn't say he's exactly sorry. He should be – after all All Might is a great guy and clearly didn't deserve this, and neither did his mom – but… Just like the physical illness, the pain in his soul comes and goes in bouts, and when it's gone it leaves him completely numb.

For now the teen simply obeys, like a puppet on strings.

He sits down at the indicated table in the cafeteria, staring absently at the frugal breakfast laid in front of him on a cracked plastic tray. He is indifferent to the openly curious stares of the other inmates, even if the complete absence of voices makes it worse and they're all a dismal sight – every villain wears some sort of quirk-inhibiting device which only adds to the terrifying appearance of most. Izuku is the only one who doesn't wear any such contraption and that, along with the very visible tattoo on the side of his neck, is bound to raise questions in their mind. Questions they will not share between themselves until later on, because in the public areas they are under very close supervision and all communications among inmates are forbidden.

The boy focuses on his own fingers – slowly wrapping them around the coffee mug, enjoying the pleasant warmth. Thankfully, his stomach doesn't protest when he takes a large sip of the dark, bitter liquid, so next goes a bite of the thin, barely buttered toast on the side. It's not that bad either and the teen hopes he might actually be able to keep it in - if he doesn't get sick again later – and then it happens.

Izuku flinches violently as he feels it all the sudden – the awful premonition he's had a few times before and which came about when Shigaraki first touched him, only it's much stronger now. The dead hands, no, the one those horrible dead hands belong to, the one who lives in them, breathes and sees through them, the one whose will is nothing but pure, endless malice. It's completely irrational, but the boy simply knows that this unseen, unknown person is very close.

Watching him, lying in wait.

Wait for what?!

Izuku abandons his food, throwing a wild glance around, nearly breathless. He meets countless stares, none particularly benevolent, but he can't find what he's looking for. He doesn't even know what exactly that is, only that it's there. He buries his face in his hands and in one second it's all gone, vanished – maybe he's losing his mind? Maybe…

As the guards take him away a headache begins to creep in and again he's much too sober to cope.

The room is windowless and painted off-white, a metal table with four matching chairs placed under the sole neon lamp lit in the low ceiling. As the door opens, Izuku gets the chance to be met with its depressing expanse before All Might's huge frame blocks his view. The pro hero is wearing the same striped brown suit as the other day and the teen blinks, suddenly remembering how the man can transform, from this to-…

Another thing that doesn't exactly make sense

Still, his gaze plummets to the ground and to his own feet before he can catch the blond's expression because Inko must be right behind him and Izuku absolutely cannot look at this mother now. He'll have to, at some point, but just… not right now. Unforgiving, the door closes behind him, leaving the boy alone with his parents, wishing the floor could open and swallow him whole in this very second.

At first no one says anything and he can hear All Might fidgeting awkwardly as he moves out of the way, stepping to Izuku's side. It's like the ominous quiet before the storm and the teen fights the urge to hug himself, forcing his hands to hang limply by his sides, close to his body, fingers slightly clenched.

"Izuku… " comes Inko's voice as he can hear her shifting closer, a mere whisper. "Is this how I raised you?"

Right, that's another thing – not only did he embarrass her for being such a loser all his life, now he made her look bad in front of All Might. Or worse, or-

"IS THIS HOW I RAISED YOU?!"

Without warning her hand shoots forward and slaps him hard across the face, that stupid wedding ring she still wears for some unfathomable reason catching him in the nose.

"Owwwww! Mom…" Izuku whimpers weakly, hands flying up to his face.

"Now, now, Inko, I'm sure there's no need to be viole-"

"Shut up, Toshinori! I never laid a hand on him before and look what happened! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ON YOUR FINGERS?! AND ON YOUR NECK, GOOD GOD! AND YOU DYED YOUR HAIR?! " She grips a handful of the green curls on the tips of which some remnants of black still linger, yanking before she slaps the boy again, yet not as hard as before.

"Inko, I don't think the problem is that he dyed his hair," All Might intervenes, softly. "Or even that he's got a couple of tattoos…" Blue eyes trail over the letters decorating the side of his son's neck and it's plain to see that he's more concerned with their meaning than the thug aesthetics of it. "We've got more important things to discuss."

A large hand lands gently on the teen's shoulder, guiding him to sit down at the table. The blond sits down by his side – probably a requirement of the guards, since none of them is here as per regulations – while Inko sits in front of her son. She's close enough to be able to slap him again, and Izuku would much prefer that she does so, rather that ask him any questions.

"Izuku, look at me."

In the end he has no choice but to lift his head from his hands and take in his mother's pale face and dark-circled, red-rimmed eyes. Inko looks very tired, more so than he'd ever seen her before, and for the first time he spots a few silvery hairs glimmering into the dark green of her bangs. Her momentary bout of anger seems already exhausted – she's a gentle, sweet person and would have never reacted that way earlier if her son hadn't really done it this time (which he did), and right now it would have been better if she were more like Bakugo's mom – explode into a tantrum, yell and beat him into a pulp rather than… this.

"So, this girl you were with… Himiko? I suppose she was the one who introduced you to the drugs and-… and everything else."

Oh, no. He absolutely can't talk to his mom about Himiko. No way. No fucking way.

"Was she your girlfriend?"

Obviously, she wants to know that, any boy's mother would. And it's probably a means to ease her way into tougher subjects, however unfortunate the choice. But since Izuku hasn't as much as dared talk to a girl before, in his past life, maybe she can be deterred from this. Or so he thinks, doing his best to look surprised at the mere suggestion as he shakes his head quickly and discreetly removes his tattooed fingers from sight.

"Wha- no! No, we were just… just friends! Why would you think-"

Inko's thin eyebrow is raised as she leans back a bit. "Are you sure? Because they've shown me all the footage from the surveillance cameras and I think I saw something else."

Fuck. FUCK.

Izuku briefly turns his head to look at the pro hero seated next to him and remembers he's talked about his relationship with Himiko during the interrogation, so All Might knows and he's probably told his mom too. So this wasn't really a question of if, she wants details. Fuck.

"Uh… I mean… w-we made out a couple of times," the teen stutters, face warming up. It's a half-assed thing to say, but that's what his mother must have seen anyway, they weren't doing anything else out in the street, of that much he's sure of. "But it was just-…"

Inko sighs, shaking her head. "Did you sleep with her?" she asks calmly.

"No! God! She was older than me anyway-"

"Izuku, are you lying to me again? This is serious, it's irresponsible and you could have gotten something, and you're only fifteen for God's sake!"

Well, at least he tried, the boy thinks as his face disappears behind his hands once more. "It was serious, I loved Himiko and she loved me too. And it wasn't irresponsible either, we used a condom," he mutters in a low voice, but the last sentence is enough to make the pro hero flinch visibly.

Fuck, now he's done it! Come to think of it, Izuku has no idea if All Might and his mother had a relationship, whether it was before or after her husband left (or maybe the very reason why he left in the first place) or why she didn't tell him the truth about having his child. What if they just had a one-night stand? His mother doesn't seem the type but… fuck, this really isn't any of his business, God!

"I'm sorry, Mom! I'm sorry, I swear I didn't mean it that way, I-…I'm sorry, All Might…"

"Dad," the blond says softly, reaching out to grab one of the teen's hands and gently pry it away from his face. "And it's alright. Your mother was just worried, she didn't mean to invade your privacy and she… we understand that you're grieving. What we do want to understand though is how it has come up to this in the first place, how you ended up on the bridge that day."

"Izuku… was it really that bad at school?" his mother whispers.

His eyelids fall shut. He can't explain to them how he felt back then, how he was suffocating. How he was drowning in poison.

"I just… I wrote into a school form that I wanted to go to U.A." Izuku pauses, taking a deep breath. "I know it sounds stupid, since I could never-… and I really shouldn't have done that, because the teacher read it out loud in class and then everyone ganged up on me, him included." He shakes his head, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. "And then someone said that maybe in my next life I'll get a quirk, so I should take a swan dive off the roof."

"Oh my God…" Inko breathes, hand flying up to her mouth.

All Might clears his throat. "But that's not all, is it? The doctor found some burnt marks on your body, and he said they weren't new. Can you tell us how you got those?" His voice is still very gentle, and his large fingers which still hold Izuku's hand give it a reassuring squeeze.

"Was it Bakugo?" his mother asks. "Izuku… it was him, wasn't it?"

Kacchan is a student at U.A. now – All Might's student – and a history of bullying might reflect very badly on him. Might cause him problems. But Izuku doesn't want any of that – he already saw what the tantrum-prone blond is made of when he put the guns in his face. He's got such power, such an amazing quirk, yet he was so fucking scared in that moment that he couldn't even move. No, Izuku settled that, left it behind already.

"Yeah. It was him, but it's nothing. It was my fault anyway, I just kept pursuing him because I wanted to be friends with him, I was being stupid. And he didn't… mean to hurt me," the boy says, shaking his head with a tired sigh. He doesn't know for sure, but fuck it. "He's just dumb and out of control I guess."

"But that's not an excuse!"

Izuku clicks his tongue. Fuck Kacchan already. "It doesn't matter. Himiko said it's okay. She said it's okay to be quirkless and she said she wants me to live. That's why-" A loud sob chokes him and suddenly he can't go on anymore. "She kept me alive but now she's dead. She's… gone!" Tears finally take over and he can't stop them this time, shaking and curling helplessly in his seat.

Inko stands from her seat and a moment later he feels her arms closing protectively around his body, her lips pressing into his hair.

"I'm- 'm sorry, Mom… Please forgive me! I'm so sorry…"

"I know, baby! I know…"

Izuku is momentarily left alone in the small room after the guards escort his parents out – they only had fifteen minutes – but now he can hear them bickering outside in the hallway and slumps against the hard table, head buried in his hands.

"Ahhh, this is my fault and you know it! If only you had told me… I know what he was feeling, because I've been there myself!"

"Oh, please, where have you been, Toshinori? In prison? Drugged out of your mind?"

"Inko, you have no idea what it's like to be quirkless! Even back when I was young it was something-… And you didn't even know he was being bullied! If you had told me, we would have been there for him together, we would have sent him to a better school-"

"What do you mean 'a better school'?! He's always done just fine in school, he's always had top grades, he's not an idiot, for God's sake!"

"I know, I know he's not an idiot, but maybe we could have sent him to a school where talents such as his are more appreciated than one's ability to shoot confetti out of their arse or lack thereof, damn it!"

His mother goes on to say something in reply, but Izuku doesn't have the energy to listen anymore.

A/N – Spoiler warning! Izuku is not actually losing his mind – something is about to happen and I've been dropping hints about this in previous chapters as well. I wonder if you can guess what it is…