A/N MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE EVERYONE! Since I love you guys so much I am going to give you this chapter as a Christmas- or whatever the heck you celebrate- present. Happy holidays everyone! Stay warm!:')

I would also like to say that I don't know much about Germany, so I apologize if I get the description wrong. I will try my best to make it as accurate as possible. I'm not too proud of this chapter as it seems like a filler, but that just may be me and my writer's block. I guess we'll just see where it goes then...

"Acting like he doesn't care

Oh, but he's really the most self-aware

He cut his heart out to be cool

'Cause everybody loves a criminal"-

Sundara Karma, "She Said."

Chapter Twenty-Two - Dog and Piggy Show (episode 11, completed)

*JCA*

Anyone who entered the Dark Hand's lair would feel the anger radiating off of Valmont.

"You failed to retrieve the talisman, and you sat on this!" the said villain held up a broken Seeking Device- the wires were tapped, and the machine was emitting a very concerning crackling noise.

Shendu appeared just as irritated. "The Seeking Device was forged by magic," he murmured thoughtfully; "Such things are hard to come by."

Tohru remained unmoved. "Apologies, master," he said submissively.

Valmont clucked his tongue disapprovingly. "Perhaps the time has come to have a freelancer on future missions…"

"No need, master!" There was a pleading note to Tohru's abrasive voice. "I will do better!" He hoped he could stick with this promise, but Chan and his...partner...were making it harder and harder for the Dark Hand to get what they needed to do done. He was quite frustrated with how things were turning out- and that brought sensations of dissatisfaction and irritability to his being. It was like an itch he needed to scratch…. NOW.

"Ah, too late!" Valmont chuckled, lowering his voice, "Tohru, meet Hak Foo…."

The shadow of an ominous villain loomed over the room.

*JCA*

"The Dog Talisman is best friend to man," Uncle hummed, flipping through a book I'd long since bothered to translate, "It restores youthful energy to its holder...and grants eternal life."

"Immortality," I remarked, rubbing at my eyes.

"Indeed," Uncle confirmed, shutting the book. We were all sitting in the cramped room of the shop, surrounded by dusty books and the scent of mothballs. I secretly wished I could go to sleep, as I had been all day, but I knew I had to help Uncle somehow. Maybe a simple birthday present, such as going out for dinner, would cheer him up. Who wants to be glum on their birthday, anyway?

Jade perched on top of the desk. "Something's different about you," she commented, squinting at Uncle. Hmm… he did seem more relaxed, I thought, studying him. His didn't seem as tense, and he was smiling more. Had he pulled himself out of his depressed spell?

Uncle looked at the young girl quizzically. "Like what?"

"Well, for one thing, you haven't said, 'One more thing' since we got here," Jade pointed out, imitating Uncle at the latter.

I bit back a smile, choosing instead to try to translate the Chinese writing on the parchment paper nearby, but to no avail. It was basically...well...Chinese, literally, to me. Jackie was nearby, using a punching bag in the corner to practice martial arts.

"She's right, Uncle," Jackie pointed out, pausing and turning to face us.

I pulled out a box that I'd wrapped the picture of Jade at Melvin World in, handing it to Uncle. He opened it, smiling at the image of a scowling "Jade." She'd been possessed by Shendu at the time- not really a memorable moment, but it was better than nothing.

"Thank you, Macey," he said gratefully, pocketing the gift.

Jade nibbled on some chocolate that I had given Uncle earlier (he had perked up a little at this, thanking me quite enthusiastically. I wondered if that had done the trick), peering at the extra piece on the desk. "Heyy, look!" She pointed to the chocolate, and I leaned forward, studying the piece.

Jackie and I leaned forward, peering at the chocolate piece.

On the center was an engraving of a small dog.

"This must be the Dog Talisman," I calculated aloud, nudging Jackie.

"But why would the Dog Talisman be carved into chocolate?" Jackie's confusion reflected my thoughts.

I rubbed my temples again. "At this point, nothing surprises me anymore." The past two weeks were rushing up to get me- and it seemed my asthma was growing worse as well. Missions weren't as easy as when I first started, and I was beginning to feel like an old woman. The Chinese inscriptions were getting more difficult to translate, and it seemed everywhere I turned I saw a talisman. Was it any wonder I was exhausted?

"I guess we'll find out when we get to Germany." Jackie grinned at me. I had to admit his positivity was contagious.

"The home of the hot dog," I volunteered, that being one of the only facts I knew about Germany.

A loud thump reverberated against the floor, and Jackie and I looked up to see Uncle standing near with a duffel bag.

"I could use a change of scenery," Uncle admitted, smiling.

Jade grinned. "Does this mean I get to come along?"

"Since no one will be here to babysit you, I suppose so," I said, realizing I had to come with Jackie on this one. I'd opted out on the past couple, volunteering to stay home and work. I needed a change of scenery as well. Maybe that's why I was getting depressed. I hated to sound like a sulky teenager, but come on...the life of journalism wasn't as glorious and glimmer-filled as I thought it would be.

Uncle stretched, flexing his muscle-less arms. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get going!" He grabbed his duffel bag and exited the shop, disappearing outside.

Jackie narrowed his eyes. "Something is different about him," he said observantly.

"Is it the fact that he hasn't said 'one more thing' since we got here?" The headache was dwindling down to a dull ache, but I was still irritated. Maybe it was from traveling so much. I've heard traveling for long periods of time can cause crankiness. Should I start going to bed earlier?

"No." Jackie shook his head incredulously. "He's more...youthful."

That was the least relevant term I would use to describe Uncle.

But whatever floats your boat, I guess.

*JCA*

We arrived in Bavaria a few hours later. The flight had been crummy, and my legs were stiff from sitting for so long.

"I guess they call it jet lag for a reason," I complained as we stepped out onto the Germany landscape. It was much different from America, but that goes without saying, I suppose. The landscape was flatter, but the scenery was beautiful, with large grass fields and a crystal clear sky. Tips of mountains were visible from the skyline.

I wouldn't mind vacationing here, if that were an option.

"I hope you like chocolate," Jackie remarked as we walked down the busy street. "We are going to a chocolate factory."

"Cool! I've always wanted to go to a chocolate factory." I'd been to a Hershey's chocolate park as a kid, but that was about it.

Local music began to play from a speaker in one of the restaurants. Uncle and Jade combined hip hop moves that Jade portrayed at home, dancing freely in the streets like nobody was watching.

"I believe I have figured out what is going on with Uncle," Jackie announced to me as we observed Jade and Uncle dancing. "He's wearing the Dog Talisman."

"Yeah, so?" I was getting hotter, sweat beads forming on my hairline.

"So, the Dog Talisman restores eternal youth," Jackie reminds me warily. "That may be what is causing Uncle's...spurt of energy."

"Maybe," I said doubtfully, shifting my weight, "but then again, it is his birthday. What if he's just happy?" Uncle was never happy, so of course this would be suspicious.

"Maybe so...but he isn't normally like this…" Jackie rubbed the back of his neck thoughtfully. "We should get going."

*JCA*

The sky was just beginning to darken as we made our way toward the chocolate factory.

"Ugh," I scoffed as we entered the building, "I thought we'd actually have fun. I feel like I'm in the Da Vinci Code."

Jackie slunk against the wall, raising a hand to stop me from walking again. "Shh," he said softly, gesturing forward.

A large, muscular man with a tuft of hair for a hairstyle lingered near the side of the wall, appearing a mixture of both bored and tired.

Jackie attempted to sneak past, but the man's dark, beady eyes shifted toward the sound of his footsteps.

"Seeking a talisman?" The man drawled, holding up the Dog Talisman.

"Where is Uncle?" My heart began to pound at the realization that the talisman had been stolen from the man in question. What if he'd gotten hurt?

The thug smirked. "Only counterfeits here."

Jackie blinked in confusion. "Do I know you?"

"I am Hak Foo," the man said as a way of introducing himself, "the last human you will ever lay eyes on."

It took me about a millisecond to register that sentence. "Jackie, no!" I yelled as Hak Foo kicked Jackie to the ground. He was slung against the wall, collapsing to the floor in a heap.

"Jackie!" I knelt down beside the said man and attempted to shake him awake. "Please don't be dead please don't be dead please don't be dead-" My mantra was interrupted by Hak Foo's boots stomping against the floor, growling as he pressed a foot against Jackie's ribs.

"Don't hurt him!" I begged, my voice sounding small in the large room.

"You! Tiger Man!" A familiar voice erupted suddenly. "Remove your feet from Jackie!"

Jackie's eyes opened only slightly, his voice groggy as he spoke, "What's a Jackie?"

"Jackie!" I put my arms around him. "You're okay!"

"Where am I?" He sat up, rubbing his head and looking around.

"You're in Germany," I informed him, helping him stand. "Let's make like a tree and leave." I wasn't about to stick around and get my butt kicked by Hak Foo. What he could do to Jackie, he could more than likely do to me, times twenty.

Hak Foo lumbered over Uncle and Jade, who were standing in the corner of the room. "Take your leave, or feel the burn!" The threat emitted both annoyed and amused.

Uncle smirked. "You talk the talk," he remarked, tilting his head to one side, "but can you walk the walk?"

Hak Foo answered this question with a hulk-sized fist to Uncle's face.

"Uncle!" I knelt down beside the now-unconscious Uncle. "Jackie! I think he's dead!"

"What?" Jackie whispered, leaning over my shoulder. He pressed his fingers against Uncle's neck, feeling for a pulse. "He's not dead. He's still breathing. Besides, he's wearing the immortality talisman."

"Oh. Yeah." I grinned, relief coursing through my veins. "Uncle! Wake up!" I shook the old man's shoulders as Jade watched nervously nearby.

Hak Foo swung a fist in my direction, only knocking me on the shoulder. I stumbled slightly, my headache returning.

"Wake me up when this is over…," I groaned before collapsing to the ground near Uncle.

Uncle suddenly shot up, gasping for air and looking around wildly.

"Uncle!" Jackie breathed a sigh of relief. "You're okay!"

I sat up and grinned at Jackie. "Yeah, I think he is," I agreed, watching as the old man rubbed his neck.

"See? Lots of garlic is good for you," Uncle drawled, grinning at me wholeheartedly.

"Wow," I muttered under my breath, adjusting my hoodie, "that was random."

Uncle extended his hand toward me, and I realized he was helping me up. I gratefully accepted the offer and pulled myself to my feet, my muscles crackling in protest.

"We must get the Pig Talisman before the big mouth finds it!" Uncle's proclamation reverberated against the chocolate factory's walls.

*JCA*

There was a clock tower just down the road, looming ominously near the chocolate factory. But no one else would guess why Jackie Chan was perched atop the clock, nervously anticipating the long fall that would greet him if he lost his footing.

The cymbals took the form of a pig- that would soon chime, claiming the hour.

Macey Chabert hovered nearby, appearing just as wary as her partner. She would be the one to help Jackie off of the clock tower.

Cold, uncaring hands clamped down on Jackie's shoulder, causing him to cry out in surprise.

"Thank you for revealing the talisman," Tohru's low voice drawled happily.

A loud smack sounded off against the clock, Uncle's fist making contact with both Hak Foo and Tohru. The two villains gasped as Uncle waved the precious Dog Talisman in the air.

"Looking for this?"

The inquire angered both villains. However, only one reached for the Dog Talisman. Just before he could grab it, however, the cymbals on the clock spiralled toward him, sending him flying against the clock walls, eyes burning with fire.

Uncle raises a fist, smacking Tohru off the clock.

"Whoa!" Macey's cry of shock and surprise startled Jackie, causing him to jump. "How- whu- Dog Talisman- bluh?!" Her puzzlement was both amusing and accurate.

"Macey!" Finally freed from the Dark Hand's grasp, Jackie reaches for Macey's hand and pulls her down the slant of the clock, Dog and Pig Talisman in hand.

The two collapse to the ground, entangled with one another.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" Jackie looked Macey up and down, concern glinting in his eyes.

Although slightly bruised and breathing heavily, the addressed girl appeared fine. "I'm okay. I wouldn't mind if someone took me out with a sniper, though." Jackie's eyes widened at this, and she laughed. "Jackie, chill! I'm kidding, I'm kidding."

"Uncle!" Jackie hooked his fingers in his jeans loop, glaring at Uncle. "Explain."

Uncle wiped sweat beads off his dampened forehead. "Jackie, thank you for letting me re-experience my youth," he said gratefully, handing the Dog Talisman over to Jackie. "But being young is too dangerous! And exhausting," he added with a sigh. "Uncle needs a nap!"

Macey laughs, putting an arm on Jackie's shoulder. "You earned it, Uncle."