A/N Greetings, earthlings! I apologize for the lack of updates. School happened, and then life got in the way. ;-; In this chapter I will be straying a bit from the original script, but I will include the rest of the episode toward the middle of the chapter. It'll be a long chapter, so sit back and enjoy the ride!

"And in the end we shall achieve in time

The thing they call divine

And all the stars will smile for me

When all is well and well is all for all

And forever after

I'm living in the meantime, wait and see"-

Spacehog, "In the Meantime."

Chapter Six - Jade Times Jade (season 2, episode 4, completed)

Much to my dismay, my training began at the crack of dawn- way before, actually. I was awakened by Jackie.

"No…" I mumbled, my voice muffled by the pillow. "Is too early…,"

In response, he tugged the blanket off me. I groaned, pulling it over me once more.

I heard him sigh. "You leave me no choice-" He pulled the blanket off me all the way now, reaching to my feet.

Knowing that tickling was coming next, I shot up.

"Good morning Vietnam!" I gasped, panting.

Jackie stood near the bed, "Please get dressed. Your lesson will begin in ten minutes." He was already dressed in his usual attire, a blue shirt and khaki pants.

"Alright." Once he left the room, I shut the door and pulled on a black muscle shirt and matching shorts. (It would be easy to move around in.) I ran my fingers through my hair and used a red scrunchie to tie it into a ponytail, then slipped outside, allowing the door to shut behind me.

Jackie was waiting in the main room, where the kicking and punching bags were set up.

"I'm ready," I told him through a yawn, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. It was still dark outside, the sky grey with patches of white stars glistening against the purple horizon.

"Good morning." Jackie bowed, and I copied his gesture. "Today I will teach you discipline, and how to balance yourself."

"Sounds good." I'd finally woken up all the way, my vision clearing and my stomach less queasy.

Learning to balance and discipline myself apparently meant thirty minutes of meditation and yoga: so not what I had been expecting, but it was better than keeling over a computer for eight hours.

"Breathe in through the nose, and out through the mouth…," Jackie instructed, and I followed suit.

We were seated on the blue mat, in criss-cross- apple sauce position.

"Jackie!" Just as I finally managed to steady myself, clearing my mind, a shout came from the door, causing me to jump. I nearly toppled over, opening my eyes and glaring in the direction of the cry.

Captain Black stood in the doorway, appearing a mixture of confused and puzzled.

"Yes?" Jackie looked equally as annoyed as I felt.

"The Dark Hand has gone to Tokyo, Japan," Captain Black informed us, seemingly unaware of our irritation.

"Are you kidding me?" I groaned in frustration, rubbing my cinched shoulder.

"I suppose I should go, then…" Jackie stood warily.

I dragge myself off the ground. "Then again, Japanese food does sound good right now," I decided out loud.

*JCA*

It was nightfall by the time we arrived in Tokyo, Japan. Jackie was currently in the middle of a bizarre battle with the Dark Hand, who were in the possession of a valuable spell box, which would supposedly revealed the key to a demon portal. The last thing I wanted to do was open the door to a demon world but sometimes you never really have another choice.

The Dark Hand and Jackie were throwing punches and kicks, grunts of surprise and pain sounding off, but somehow Jackie dodged them and swung a hammer kick, booted foot sailing into one of the Dark Hand's faces.

"Whoa," I murmured, tilting my head to one side. "Jackie ten, Dark Hand zero." However our triumph was short-lived: the wooden roof caved in from the weight of both the Dark Hand and Jackie, both villain and hero falling from the ceiling and into the toy store below.

"Jackie!" My breath hitching in my throat, I leaped from the split ceiling and landed on a brown box, feeling my muscles immediately protest.

I groaned in renewed pain and pushed myself off the box, dropping to the white tiled floor beside Jackie.

"Dark Hand member, 2 o'clock!" I told him, sliding to his side.

"Huh?" He stared at me, pausing mid-punch.

I sighed. "Dark Hand member behind you!" The warning was too little too late.

One of the Dark Hand members threw a powerful punch to Jackie's face, and he cried out before falling to the ground in shock and pain.

The Dark Hand picked up a small wooden box off the ground before disappearing up the stairs, leaving us in rubble in the middle of the toy store.

I gasped with realization:

They'd managed to swipe the spell book right from under our noses.

*JCA*

We were seated in a hotel room we'd previously booked out before leaving for Japan.

"I've got your back, Jack," Jade stated from beside me. She'd somehow managed to follow us, as usual, and we'd given up on reminding her that it was a school night and she needed to be in her room doing homework.

"So, the riddle is, a river runs, but never walks. It has a mouth, but never talks," Jackie stated out loud, puzzled.

"A river runs, doesn't walk? Has a mouth, but never talks?" I echoed incredulously. That doesn't make any sense. I feel like I'm in The Goonies."

Jade appeared more anxious, and was more talkative than usual, speaking in a rapid, almost manic manner, and directed Jackie to the window.

He leaned against the windowsill and peered out of the glass.

"A river runs, but doesn't walk," Jackie murmured, repeating the mantra. "Has a mouth, but never-" He cut himself off with a gasp. "Macey, that's it! The river, that's the answer."

"The riv-" I started, taken aback.

"That is where the spell box was taken!" Jackie sounded relieved yet tired all at once.

Several Jades suddenly appeared out of nowhere, surrounding the original Jade.

"Wha?!" I stepped back, nearly colliding with Jackie, who gasped and gaped at the group of Jades in front of us. "Jade- one of you- explain this now!" He hesitated before mumbling, "If you can."

The original Jade chuckled sheepishly, her hands behind her back anxiously.

"I can explain…," Original Jade began timidly.

"You'd better start now, Jade," I said firmly, going from friendly Macey to parental Macey. "This could take awhile." Having one Jade was hard enough, how would we cope with over a hundred of them?

"She started it!" All of the Jades proclaimed at once, pointing accusatory fingers at each other.

Some things never change, I guess.

Jackie's gaze moved along all of the Jades. "It's best I never know how this happened," he sighed at last, snapping out of his initial shock. "Stay put."

I gave Original Jade a grim smile, knowing she wouldn't succumb to his parental request, but reassured her that we'd be back before we could say Jade.

I trailed after Jackie out the hotel door.

*JCA*

The scent of mist and mountain grass filled my nostrils, and I inhaled, breathing it in deeply.

"That smells amazing," I commented, brushing a tree branch out of my way. "This should be a perfume." I was aware that we weren't in Tokyo for vacation, but the scenery outskirting the hotel was gorgeous, not to mention getting away from the polluted air of the city was nice.

I was too busy enjoying the scenery and smell that I hadn't noticed what Jackie had discovered.

"Macey, look," he whispered, nudging me. In his hands he was gripping the brown spell box.

"You got it!" I exclaimed, beaming. "Mondo coolio." I was beginning to sound like Jade, probably from being around her all the time. I remember reading somewhere that if you're around a person long enough you'll start to adapt their mannerisms.

He smiled. "Let's open it together."

"You mean it?" I was hesitant to open the door to a demon world. If something went wrong, it would partially be my fault, also I didn't know how to perform an exorcism if one of us got possessed somehow. They don't really teach exorcism in public schools.

"Of course." I put my hand on his, and we slowly pried open the lid.

We were met with a large green cloud, much like exhaust fumes from a car.

I let out a shriek of fear and dove behind Jackie.

"What is that thing?!" I demanded, peering through my fingers at the green creature that had formed before us.

"She," Jackie yelled back, stepping beside me, "is a powerful demon sorceress and Mountain Demon."

She was green, wrinkled, and ominous in appearance, looming over us and glaring down threateningly.

"Well, I can't say pleasure to meet you," I sneered, wrinkling my nose.

"The pleasure is all mine, darling," a low, husky female voice crowed from the throat of the demon, and I inhaled sharply, heart pounding against my chest.

"I don't believe it is a pleasure to meet you, either, Chan." Jackie and I did a 180 in the direction of the newcomer's voice.

Shendu/Valmont stood before us, Valmont's velvet-tainted eyes indicating that he was currently under ownership of Valmont.

"Jackie, we're surrounded." My first instinct was to panic, but if there was one technique I needed to learn was control. "What are we gonna do?!"

"Hang on!" Jackie yelled. "I'm thinking."

"Oh, that's just great," I scoffed, rubbing my face.

"Hey-"

"Now is not the time nor place…,"

"Yeah, you're probably right." Jackie and I slowly stepped back, but halted when realizing that we were surrounded on both sides.

"Not good, not good-" I panted, shortness of breath overcoming me, and I silently wished I had a paper bag to exhale into. I fished into my pocket and pulled out my inhaler, grateful for the extra air. Of all the things I had to suck at it had to be breathing.

Valmont grabbed Jackie by the shoulder, pushing him toward The Mountain Demon.

Suddenly struck by the thought that Shendu/Valmont was plotting to feed Jackie to the said demon, I raised my fist and swung a punch at Shendu/Valmont's face.

He let out an agitated howl and careened backward, stumbling directly into the river.

I did a weird little dance of victory. "Uh-huh! I'm the bomb! I'm the bomb!" I sang, then gasped. "And he's getting up! He's getting up!" Shendu/Valmont rose from the river, eyes glinting with anger.

"You leave me no choice, human girl!" His exclamation was curled with a snake-like hiss.

"Oops." I let out a nervous chuckle, turning and running toward Jackie. "Catcha later!"

"Aye-ah!" Several of Jade's clones, including the Original Jade herself, appeared out of nowhere and climbed onto the Mountain Demon, holding her against the ground. It was one of the rare occasions that Jackie and I would be relieved that Jade had followed us to a mission.

"Mmm…," The Mountain Demon hummed. "Finger food…,"

"You mean, a knuckle sandwich!" Jade corrected as her "army" prevented the demon from attacking.

"Woohoo!" I cheered, "go Jades!"

"Aye-ah!" The same exclamation, made famous by Uncle, was repeated, and Uncle himself, accompanied by by a dazed Tohru, marched in our direction.

"Uncle!" Jackie cried, relieved.

"Now, the drum!" Uncle ordered, facing Tohru.

Tohru blinked, phased. "Uh... drum?"

"The symbol of the immortal who originally imprisoned Po Kung!" Uncle yelled in an "obviously, genius" tone.

"Don't tell me you forgot the drum," I said flatly, hooking one of my fingers in my jeans loop.

"He forgot the drum," Jackie confirmed tiredly.

Tohru gulped. "I thought...I thought you had it."

I peered over his shoulder. "Bro, did you just gulp?"

"Aye-ah!" Uncle's catchphrase was tainted with frustration. "What kind of apprentice are you?!"

Tohru hesitated before suggesting, "A lousy one?"

I pressed my palm to my clammy forehead. "Oy…," I sighed.

Jackie frantically scouted the area, before letting out a sigh of relief. "There!" He pointed before retrieving a drum from the nearby cave.

"That's a weird place to put a drum," I commented incredulously.

"In order to complete the spell," Uncle instructed, gesturing to the drum, "you must bang the drum three times."

Jackie raised the drum. "You do the honors?" he proposed, and I nodded, reaching for the gong and dragging it with force against the ground and against the surface of the drum.

Bong. Bong-

Shendu/Valmont cried out in anger, before leaping toward us and knocking both gong and drum out of my hand.

"Hey!" I scowled at him. "That wasn't very nice…,"

Shendu/Valmont's lips curled up into a smirk. "'Nice' isn't one of my specialties, my dear."

"Boy, do you need a hobby," I muttered under my breath, sweat beads forming above my eyebrows.

Jackie slammed his body against the man, and Shendu/Valmont stumbled sideways, colliding into the drum, thus striking it the third time.

Both Shendu/Valmont and Po Kong screamed as they were sucked back into the portal, dissipating into thin air.

We were all silent for a moment, gaping at the now-empty space in front of us.

"Well," I said, "that just happened."

"Uncle!" Jackie gasped. "The Panku box-"

Uncle's gaze traveled to the pack of cloned Jades. "I think there is a bigger problem to solve..,"

The army of Jades all chuckled anxiously in unison.

Uncle sighed tiredly. "I must do research…,"

"Uh, no need, Sensei," a nervous Tohru piped up. "I believe no finishing charm was applied to the duplication spell. That is why it continues to repeat."

Uncle gaped at his apprentice. "Huh?"

"Uh-" Tohru grinned sheepishly. "I did some reading during the long flight."

Uncle looked satisfied. "Tohru will be a good apprentice," he decided.

"Did you bring the finishing charm?" Jackie asked, redirecting us back to business.

Tohru nodded. "But it will only work on the Original Jade."

The cloned Jades began to beckon themselves.

"Okay!" Jackie demanded, going from sweet-I-want-to-help-you-Jackie to firm-let's-be-sensible-parental-Jackie. "Whoever cast the spell first will be grounded for a year with no television!"

The cloned Jades all pointed to Original Jade. "She did it first?"

Jade scoffed. "Tattle-tales..," she protested."

"I am just glad it wasn't Macey," Jackie said jokingly. "One Macey is annoying enough."

I slapped him upside the head.