A/N Ugh! I've been so busy with school lately, but I'm sure you don't want to hear my pathetic excuses. I have been thinking a lot about this story lately though, I swear I have. That's why I'm finally updating today and gifting you the access to ...And He Does His Own Stunts. Personally, this is one of my favorite JCA episodes, because they have a tendency to break the fourth wall throughout a good bit of the episode. I hope you guys are enjoying reading this story as much as I am writing it!

"Breaking up tonight and tomorrow's scene

Are lonely grey hours

That lie in-between

They stumble outside,

A red-eyed king

and his Rock and Rye Queen"-

Steve Conte NYC, "Rock and Rye Queen."

Chapter Ten - ...And He Does His Own Stunts (s2 episode 5 completed)

We finally managed to track down Jade, but of course that didn't go down without a fight: Jackie had to fight a puppet. I stifled a laugh as he glared at me. The puppet looked like a movie prop- it probably was- but it was still amusing to witness Jackie battle a lifeless object. Okay, so it wasn't like he'd done something stranger before, but it was out of the ordinary for any passerby witnessing the scene.

Finally he sighed. "I'm never going to hear the end of this, am I?"

"Nope!" I said cheerfully, and he shook his head.

"Cut!" someone yelled loudly, and our heads jerked in the direction of the voice. A sharp, handsome-looking man wearing a suit swaggered over to us, everything about his face, demeanor, and straight-as-a-pole posture told us he was an important person. "Who are you?!"

I straightened up and attempted to make myself the least bit presentable.

"This is a movie set?" Jackie inquired, and I rolled my eyes and gave him a weird look, like he hadn't figured that out already when the guy said "cut."

"Awesome!" Jade said excitedly. "Are you gonna put Jackie in your movie?"

The man looked anything but amused. "Oh, sure!" His glare traveled to Jackie. "After I have him arrested!"

"Arrested?" I bit back a sarcastic remark. "Sir, with all due respect, we didn't mean any harm. If you let us go quietly, it'll be like we weren't even here in the first place." I knew if Jackie was arrested, I was arrested, too. I had already gotten arrested once, and my parents probably would have something to say about that. I don't think I'd like to sit and listen to an hour-long I Raised You Better Than This lecture.

"Nigel, Nigel, calm down!" the director's assistant, a smaller, more-timid appearing man, pleaded. He outstretched his hand to Jackie. "Larry Franklin, producer of Ninjas In the Hood." I rolled my eyes. What a lame title. Anyone who came up with that title needed an editor and fast. It was probably some bad reality show that picked up random people off the street and then ripped them off.

Larry Franklin's eyes moved to me, and he smiled. "My, how very rude of me. I did not see you there." He kissed the top of my hand. "Mademoiselle."

I jerked back. Pervert.

"That was quite the display you-" Larry Franklin mimed- poorly, may I add- Jackie's battle with the puppet. "BAM BAM, AND BAM! You have an agent?"

"Uhhh," Jackie said dumbly, and I sighed. He just got offered a possible reality contract and all he could say was "uh"? Smooth, Jackie. Very smooth.

"No, he doesn't," I began, "but thank you for your kind-"

"That would be moi." Jade stepped in front of me, beaming at the producer proudly.

"Bam bam!" The producer threw his hands in the air. "This town is getting younger every day."

"You voluntarily pick up young girls?" I wrinkled my nose. "Creepy." The guy seemed to be enjoying this way more than he should.

"Jaaade...," Jackie chided robotically, switching from cool-Jackie to parental-I-mean-business-Jackie in a matter of seconds.

"Right, Jackie." Jade turned back to Franklin. "Did I mention he does all his own stunts?"

"Jade!" Jackie and I exclaimed in unison.

*JCA*

Much to my shock, Jackie had gotten Jade to set up an appointment for him to appear on Ninjas In the Hood.

"You are beyond crazy for convincing Jade to let you do this," I said as we entered the Mega-galactic Studios, where Ninjas In the Hood was being filmed, located in the center of the Sunset Strip.

"You think I don't know that?" He shot me a questionable glance.

"You would like to pass?" A tall, muscly security guard blocked us from entering the studio entrance.

Jackie looked miffed. "Yes, I would like to!"

I wish I would have brought nicer clothes. Everyone in this city looks rich or even more rich. I must look pretty out of place to them.

"We're being hired to work on that show Ninjas In the Hood." It wasn't the truth, but it wasn't a lie, either. "We-"

Jackie's phone suddenly vibrated from his pocket, and he held the device to his ear. "Hello? Jade! Where are you?"

The security guard looked evidently more annoyed, but turned his back to us and leaned against the wall, set on not letting us by.

"How do you do that-?! Never mind." Jackie sighed. "Jade, do nothing until I get there!" He hung up and dropped his phone into his pocket.

"Jackie, Jade never does nothing," I pointed out as we jogged out of the theater.

"I know, but I feel I have to say it," Jackie said tiredly. "We need to get to the Dragon Theater before she does anything dangerous!"

"Why do I have a sinking feeling she's already done something dangerous?" I sighed.

*JCA*

We made it to the Dragon Theater- a large movie theater located just a few blocks from Sunset Strip- a few minutes later. The Dark Hand had already arrived (they seemed to always be in the right place at the right time), a large, blue dragon lingering nearby.

"Tchang Zu!" Jackie gasped, nearly stumbling into me.

"What's a Tchang Zu?" I blinked.

Jackie pointed. "That thing!"

A crowd had gathered, gaping in awe at the blue dragon looming over them. I prayed they would assume it was a special effect Hollywood had decided to advertise outside of the theater.

I spotted Jade in the middle of the crowd.

"Jade!" I pulled her aside. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here for a footprint ceremony," she replied warily, eyes moving to Tchang Zu.

"Jackie, what are we gonna do?" I turned to Jackie desperately.

"I'll distract them," Jade volunteered. "I'll create a diversion so you guys can escape!"

"Jade, we can't run," Jackie protested tiredly. "We have to fight this."

"I'll convince the crowd that Tchang Zu is a special effect, while you guys are movie stars," Jade continued, ignoring Jackie. "Macey, act like you have charisma!"

I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "Who's acting?" I said casually, letting the unintentional insult slide. The ground suddenly tremored, and I gasped, my head jerking up.

Tchang Zu stomped toward us, sending Jackie and I tumbling to the ground from his girth.

"Any last words?" I yelled over the din of the trembling earth.

"No last words necessary," Jackie reassured me as he scrambled to his feet, nearly getting knocked over by Tchang Zu again.

I groaned in frustration and clapped my hands over my ears, feeling a headache coming on.

Jade had managed to keep the crowd at bay, narrating the scene as if it were genuinely special effects. She did a pretty good job, I had to admit.

Jackie ran over to the Dark Hand, snatching something from their hands. "Sorry, I can't bring this back, thank you!"

"Are you crazy?" I yelled at Jackie when he came back. "You can't just-"

"Did I have any other choice?!" Jackie returned, agitated.

"Good point…" I agreed hesitantly, my breath catching in my throat as Tchang Zu stepped forward and caused the earth to crack under his feet.

"Ayee-ah!" Uncle suddenly cried in exasperation, and I jumped.

"Uncle!" I sighed. "Why can't you just say hello like a normal person?" How long had he been standing there?

"I did not assemble the chi potion because I did not have Tohru," Uncle informed Jackie, ignoring me.

"Uncle, you take Jade to get the ingredients," Jackie ordered, attempting to hide panic. "Take a taxi." Uncle nodded, leaving the scene, and Jade begrudgingly trailed after him.

A few moments later, Uncle returned with all the ingredients, Jade looking somewhat chastened. As Uncle neared us, I noted that he was carrying two castenets in his hands. Meanwhile, Larry Franklin had arrived in the crowd, staring in awe at the sight before him.

"I have completed the spell," Uncle informed us once by our sides. "But Shendu has cast a spell of his own and has escaped with the Pan'ku Box."

"Aye-ah!" I said in exasperation, biting my lip.

"Who's the old guy?" Larry Franklin inquired, blinking at Uncle.

"Co-star, and occasional comic relief," Jade said idly, shrugging nonchalantly.

"At least Tchang Zu is gone," I spoke up, wiping sweat from my forehead.

"At least nobody got hurt," Jackie added. "At least, nobody we knew."

I laughed, relief coursing through my body at last, as we were finally able to relax.

At least for now...