The Legend of Zelda, its characters and locations are all property of Nintendo. Any and all OCs and original locations belong to me unless specifically stated to belong to someone else.

The Voice
Chapter 43 - For Posterity!

"Typical," Sheik muttered sourly. "First the perv hits on you at dinner, and then doesn't show up. Useless. Absolutely useless."

Link couldn't help but smile a little. At this point, it was pretty clear that Sheik viewed just about anyone who wasn't himself or Sidon talking to Link as a threat. It was a little sweet, really, but he wished Sheik wouldn't say it out loud all the time.

"It's n-not even n-noon yet," he reminded Sheik, casting a wistful glance in the direction of the little lake.

Most of the people staying at the Bazaar (all male, save for the Gerudo guards), were either seeking shelter from the blazing sun in the shade of their tents and parasols, content to let the days pass by until the Yiga blockade was lifted.

And here he was, standing out in the open, feeling his skin getting burned more and more by the minute as he waited for the bearded stranger who'd eavesdropped on his conversation with Kachoo and then offered him a way to get into the Gerudo city.

With such a suspicious introduction, Link found himself wishing the man was only a pervert and not something more...sinister.

At least a pervert problem was easily solved with a swift kick to the fork.

"Still got that knife in your belt?" Sheik asked.

"I d-do," he confirmed, patting the small sheath on his belt, on the opposite side of the slate. As if the sword on his back wouldn't be enough of a deterrent.

"Be ready to use it, just in case," Sheik said. "You never know—"

He was interrupted as the bearded man rounded the corner, spotting them immediately. He waved cheerfully and came closer.

"I thought you'd be up on the roof already," he said, grinning.

"Like we'd let ourselves get crowded up there," Sheik whispered.

Link nodded, warily. "Y-You said y-you had a w-way to g-get inside th-the city?"

"I do," he said, coming to stand next to Link, leaning against the wall of the inn, looking casual. "You've heard the rumour, right?"

"R-Rumour?" Link asked.

"That a man snuck into the Gerudo city—and made it out alive? The Gerudo were none the wiser about his true nature." He grinned a little wider. "Sound interesting?"

"It d-does."

"Good," the Hylian said, holding out a hand. "A thousand."

"Wh-What?"

"Come on, don't be coy," beardy said, winking. "I'm not gonna comment on why you could want to get in the city, that's none of my business, but my help is gonna cost ya. A thousand rupees, please."

"Th-That's a l-lot..." Link mentally calculated how much money he had left.

In the chaos of Sheik's revelation, the matter of money had been so easily forgotten. Not that he would have asked Sidon for it anyway—he'd rather die.

"It's worth it, though, I guarantee it," the Hylian said, his grin turning a little...sleazier. "Though if the money's too much, I'm sure we can come to some other...agreement?" He shuffled a little closer. "How old are you?"

"Th-That w-won't be n-necessary," Link hissed, putting his money pouch in the man's hand. "H-Here. Sh-Should be enough!"

Beardy looked a little disappointed at actually getting the money, but a quick check of the pouch's contents quickly had him grinning again. "A pleasure doing business with you, son," he said, tipping his hat. "Head on up to the roof—your solution'll be there in a minute."

Link made sure he'd actually gone before he climbed up the ladder to the roof, inwardly counting down.

...three...two...one...

"What the hell?!" Sheik exclaimed. "You just give him the money and let him walk away, without actually getting what you paid for?! Link, what's the matter with you?!"

"I...I just w-wanted to g-get away from h-him," Link admitted. The idea of the man touching him had been...abhorrent. "Y-You were r-right—he w-was a p-perv..."

"I'm always right, Link. The sooner you accept that fact, life will get a lot easier...but yeah, I see what you mean."

"B-Besides," Link continued, disappointed to find that it was even hotter up on the roof—that is, the giant boulder balanced precariously on the roof...and no shade in sight. "Wh-Where w-would he g-go if he d-doesn't d-deliver?"

"Oh yeah, nowhere to hide, huh?" Sheik said. "Good thinking."

They waited for a few minutes, and soon enough there was the sound of someone else climbing the ladder, coming up. Instead of the Hylian man, however, it was a Gerudo. She was wearing a magenta-coloured sirwal, a belly-exposing top that showed off a set of chiselled abdominal muscles (and a pretty flat chest), and strong shoulders. Her hair was covered by a headdress, the lower half of her face obscured by a veil.

She was carrying cloth sack over her shoulder.

"Ah, you're here," she said, hauling herself onto the rocky surface, straightening up before studying him closely. "Oh my, what a lovely young lad you are—Daron certainly didn't exaggerate. Do you need something from me?"

"Who the fuck is Daron?" Sheik whispered.

"I n-need a w-way into the G-Gerudo city." Link briefly wondered if he had been scammed after all, and if he would have to pay a visit to this Daron fellow if that was the case. "I...h-heard a r-rumour..."

"A rumour?" the Gerudo said, looking intrigued. "Let me guess, about a man snuck into Gerudo Town?"

"Y-Yes," Link said, nodding eagerly.

"Oh, I don't know anything about that," she replied, looking away.

"I'm going to kill him, I swear..."

Link squinted, studying what little he could see of her face. Her voice was surprisingly deep, at least compared to Ayla and Kachoo's. And her eyes...

She blinked bashfully. "Heehee, you're making my cheeks warm, looking at me like that."

"Y-You're...very b-beautiful?"

It came out as more of a question than a statement, but then Link wasn't sure what he could say to make her open up a little more. He knew nothing about flattering people.

"Din above, you're the worst at flirting," Sheik whispered.

It seemed to be the right thing to say, though, because she giggled happily. "Such a nice thing to say! And I'm sure you'd agree that these clothes only help my looks, right?"

Link nodded.

"What the fuck is even going on?"

She cocked her head to the side, looking him up and down, humming. "Now that I think about it, this style would look quite fetching on you...Daron was right. It's a pity we had to charge you, but I bet people would see you completely differently if you wore them."

An exaggerated wink was sent in Link's direction.

So much for subtlety, Link thought. At least we're making headway.

"Here you go," she said, tossing him the sack. "Go ahead, change into it right now." She giggled again, turning away. "Don't worry, I won't look."

A few very awkward minutes later, Link found himself gazing down his clothes. The outfit was nearly identical to the Gerudo's, only in his size (thank Hylia), and differently coloured. His sirwal was dark blue, bordering on purple, while the rest of the articles were a much lighter blue, almost a little green.

It felt...awkward. Not the clothes themselves—they were a perfect fit, strangely enough, and far more comfortable in the heat—but because of the amount of skin they exposed...or rather, the scars.

Sidon had tried to assure Link that the multitude of scars and other marks that had been left on his skin a hundred years earlier were anything but unattractive, and...well, Link had no doubt Sidon found them attractive, but if he was supposed to masquerade as a woman, shouldn't he be less...marked?

It didn't seem to bother the Gerudo, however, as she clapped her hands to her cheeks. "Eeeeeh, you look adorable! Heehee, just as I thought, you make for quite a good lookin' gal. It's such a striking look, I doubt anyone would even suspect that you're a man!"

"E-Even with th-the scars?" Link asked, feeling his cheeks heat up. There was something...predatory about the way the woman was looking at him. Weirdly enough, he didn't mind being called adorable...

"If anything, that just helps," she said, stepping a little closer. "Gerudo appreciate women who can fight, after all."

"Th-Thank you," Link said, truly grateful...even if this outfit had cost him a thousand rupees. "R-Really."

She sighed happily. "Oh, you're welcome, I'm so glad I could help you out!" She came a little closer. "Say..."

"Okay, that's it," Sheik murmured. "One more step, and I'm sounding the alarm."

"If you're free to grab something eat sometime," she said, "keep me in mind..."

Link's mind immediately began to race, trying to find a way to let her down gently (and no, saying he had a pair of boyfriends, one of whom was the Zora prince and the other a Sheikah whose mind had been transferred into the slate was not an option), when a gust of wind swept across the roof...and caught the edge of her veil, lifting it.

It was but a brief glance, but it was enough to spot the beard on her—his—face.

"Oh...Oh dear," the not-Gerudo said, embarrassedly wringing his—their?—hands. "Would...Would I be able to persuade you to forget you ever saw that?"

"Of c-cou—"Link began, but his own voice coming from the slate cut him off.

"It's worth at least half of what you scammed me out of for the outfit."

The not-Gerudo, too flustered to realise it wasn't actually Link who'd said it, looked ready to argue, but reluctantly nodded. "Fine, fine...here." A very familiar money pouch was tossed onto the roof. Another giggle. "Now, the offer still stands...see you later, cutie."

"N-Noted."

Link held his breath until they were gone, releasing it with a gasp, kneeling beside his gear, which had been left in a heap at his feet while he'd changed.

"Huh, didn't expect that," Sheik said, apparently only mildly surprised by what had just happened.

"Th-That's all you h-have to s-say?!" Link hissed, glaring down at the slate.

"What? Oh, right...I didn't appreciate the flirting but at least they weren't persistent. Saved me having to do something drastic. And hey, I even got some of your money back. An all-round success, I'd say."

Just when Link thought he'd started to understand the many little idiosyncrasies that made up his slate-bound boyfriend, something entirely new was thrown at him. He'd half-expected for Sheik to call for the complete and utter destruction of the not-Gerudo individual, but no. No shouting, no death threats, only a minor case of extortion.

"I d-don't get y-you, sometimes."

"Good, I like keeping you on your toes," Sheik said, and Link could hear the smirk in his voice. "Speaking of toes...mind stepping back a bit?"

"Wh-Why?"

"Just...humour me?"

Rolling his eyes, Link did so, stepping away from the slate, which was lying on top of his pack. "W-Well?" he asked.

"Hang on..."

There was a click. A very familiar click. His eyes widened.

"D-Did you just t-take a p-picture of me?" he asked.

"No, of course not, don't be ridiculous," Sheik said innocently. There was another click.

"You j-just d-did it again!"

"Link, I think you're imagining things," Sheik continued. "Now...could you bend over a little? Stick out that tush?"

"Sh-Sheik!"

"Oh, come on, Link, you have no idea just how...good you look in that getup."

The Hero hesitated, his cheeks warming a little again. "R-Really?"

"I don't have the words, Link," Sheik said. "Suffice to say, you'll have no problems getting into the city like this." There was an audible pause. "Well, you're a bit flat, I guess, but that's hardly a crime—"

"H-Hey!"

"Oh look, there's a rupee on the floor, right by your foot. Bet you'll have to bend all the way down to pick it up..."

"P-Perv!"

"You know it."

Another click.

"S-Stop that!"

"Gotta save this for Shark—I mean posterity!"

"Sheik!"