The Legend of Zelda, its characters and locations are all property of Nintendo. Any and all OCs and original locations belong to me unless specifically stated to belong to someone else.
The Voice
Chapter 47 - No, We Can't Keep Him
Link yawned, growling with annoyance when his veil decided it wanted to be inhaled too, filling his mouth with fabric. Spitting out the now slightly damp veil, he cast a surreptitious look towards the cluster of Gerudo soldiers who had gathered in the courtyard, hoping none of them had seen it.
"The one on the right did," Sheik said helpfully. "She will probably tell her friends what an uncultured, barbaric vai you are, trying to eat your veil."
"Th-Thanks," Link muttered, shifting against the wall, trying to make himself more comfortable. It was way too early to start arguing with Sheik at the moment—the sun hadn't even risen yet. "Wh-What time is it?" he asked.
"About twenty-five minutes till sunrise," the boy in the slate said. "You have been awake for thirty-one minutes. You slept for five hours and seven minutes."
More information than he wanted, to be frank. He was more than aware that he hadn't gotten nearly as much sleep as he should have, but it had been an elusive companion for most of the night, even with the comfortable guest chambers given to him by Riju. He'd tossed and turned all night, his mind whirring with thoughts on how to convince Sheik to keep living...and how close they were to being able to take on Ganon.
"You didn't sleep enough," Sheik added, as if reading Link's thoughts.
"N-No shit," Link said quietly, wondering if he'd be able to sneak a nap while they were waiting for the last member of their group.
Sheik gasped. "Link! Profanity at such an early hour?!" He chuckled. "You're coming along nicely."
"Y-You've corrupted m-me," Link said, closing his eyes, fairly confident he'd a position he'd remain upright in, should he drift off. If not...well, it'd hardly be the most embarrassing thing he'd ever done in front of a crowd.
"I have never felt so accomplished!"
"Excuse me, Linkle?"
He fought down the annoyed huff that threatened to erupt, and opened his eyes again, surprised to find a familiar face looking at him...er, looking down at him.
Link hated being short.
It took him a moment to remember who the Gerudo was. "R-Risa?" he asked.
Risa smiled and nodded. "Yes! You remember me from the class yesterday?"
"I d-do," Link replied, smiling under his veil. They hadn't spoken directly, but Link remembered her listening with rapt attention while he'd done his best to explain flirting with Hylian men. At least it wasn't from him she'd gotten the idea of twisting a poor guy's wrist until he agreed to marry her. "H-how are y-you?"
"Oh, I'm good," she said happily. "A bit bummed that I didn't pass the class, but practice makes perfect, right? I mean, that must be how you got your voe, right?"
"Voes," Sheik corrected.
"I'm sorry?"
When Sheik didn't speak again, Link realised the bastard had sold him out. Risa was looking at him expectantly, awaiting a reply.
Gritting his teeth, he said, "V-Voes. Plural. I h-have t-two."
Risa's eyes widened comically, her mouth visibly falling open beneath her veil. "That...is...amazing! How did you do it?! You must tell me your secrets! I mean, is that even allowed?!"
"I th-think so?" Link said. The other two participants certainly didn't mind, so...
"This is...I can't even..." Risa trailed off, staring at Link for a moment before turning to the Gerudo, shouting, "Girls! Get over here! You've got to hear this!"
And that was how Link found himself, for the second time in two days, surrounded by Gerudo women, all asking him how he managed to get two voe to himself, and how they themselves could do the same. Link had a feeling Riju would strangle him for putting these thoughts in her people's heads...and that Sheik was having the time of his life, listening to Link's bumbled explanations.
"It 'just happened'?" Risa asked in disbelief. "How does such a relationship just happen?"
"I'm s-still not entirely s-sure," he admitted.
"All right, what the hell is going on out here?!"
The group fell silent and—as one—turned guiltily to look at Ayla, who had finally graced them with her presence. She looked...haggard. Bags under her eyes, hair in general disarray, and a scowl on her mouth.
"Captain, we—"Risa began.
"I expected to find some of our most elite fighters, ready for a scrap with those masked bastards up north, but what do I get instead? A bunch of gossiping biddies—what the hell is so interesting that you...oh, hey Link."
As she spoke, the crowd had slowly separated to expose the guilty party (i.e. Link), looking awkward.
"H-Hey, Ayla," he replied weakly, waving his hand for good measure. It made the bangles on his arm jingle merrily.
"Care to tell me what you've been stirring up my girls with?" the captain asked, running her fingers through her hair—wincing when she found several knots—and looking more than a little menacing.
Definitely not a morning person.
"J-Just—"
"She has two husbands!" Risa exclaiming, pointing an accusing finger at Link. "We needed to know how she did it!"
Ayla blinked. "Husbands? I wasn't aware you were married, Link," she said, looking confused. "I mean, I didn't even realise voe could get married."
Now it was Risa's turn to look confused—along with the other Gerudo around them. "Voe and vai can't get married in Hyrule?" she asked. "That doesn't make any sense!"
There was a chorus of agreeing murmurs around her.
Ayla closed her eyes, apparently needing a few seconds. Link needed a few himself, if he was being perfectly honest.
"Risa, I don't even...how can you..." She sighed, apparently giving up on that avenue of conversation before turning to the Hero. "I am not happy with how much time I've been forced to spend contemplating your personal situation, Link," she said sourly, gesturing to his outfit. "And why are you still wearing that? We're heading into a fight, not a pleasant day at the market."
"M-My armour is a b-bit...r-revealing," Link said, trying to be subtle. "If y-you know wh-what I m-mean?"
"Revealing," Ayla said flatly. "Says the one with a visible midriff."
He returned her flat look with one of his own, wondering how long it would take her sleep-addled mind to catch on.
About six seconds, as it turned out.
"Oh!" she said triumphantly, before her expression morphed into one of exasperation, followed by her pinching the bridge of her nose with an annoyed grunt. "Link, your secret's pretty much out at this point. Riju's made an exception, so you can go back to wearing your armour. You won't get skewered for being a voe."
"This is my favourite moment ever," Sheik whispered gleefully as a deep, offended hush fell over the group.
Link felt like he was being pricked with a thousand needles as the Gerudo turned their gazes back to him, accusing, angry, disappointed and...curious?
"So...you're a voe?" Risa asked slowly.
Knowing the jig was pretty much up, Link lowered his veil, which was met with another chorus, this one of surprised gasps...which he didn't really understand seeing as he didn't have—as had been pointed out to him more than once—the most masculine features to begin with.
"Y-Yeah," he said guiltily. "I am."
More disappointment travelled in waves through the group.
"And...you don't have two husbands?" Risa asked, her eyes taking on a menacing glint. "Two wives, then?"
"Actually, he still has two husbands...er, boyfriends," Sheik piped up, to everyone's shock and surprise.
"Everyone, this is Sheik," Ayla said, pointing to the slate. "Sheik, this is everyone."
"What's up?" Sheik greeted them. "I'm a Sheikah, and I enjoy long walks in the moonlight."
For once, Link was glad Sheik spoke up. It took quite a bit of the pressure off him as the Gerudo had to choose between reacting to his unexpected masculinity (which he couldn't help but feel a little insulted by) and Sheik's unexpected...well, existence. The divide was about fifty-fifty, give or take a few.
It was a wonder they even made it out of the courtyard, much less Gerudo Town.
"Look, it saved us a lot of awkward hide-and-seek stuff, right?" Sheik asked as Link quickly changed into his Sheikah armour. "Way I see it, we just avoided a whole bunch of trouble—and believe me, it would've been even worse if they'd found out while we were en route. Now they know what they're heading into—a quest to help a crossdressing, polyamorous Hylian Champion with amnesia and his loud, weird, slate-bound Sheikah companion."
Link did suppose it was better for them to find out now rather than later. It was honestly surprising that none of them had walked away from the sheer ridiculousness of the situation. He didn't like the description Sheik had given them, but he couldn't actually argue with it either since it was pretty much on point.
He carefully folded up the sirwal and other Gerudo clothing and put them on the bed, next to the rest of the equipment he wasn't bringing on the mission.
"...you're going to bring that back with us, right?" Sheik asked. "Right?"
It wasn't difficult, figuring out why Sheik was so insistent...and Link didn't disagree. He actually quite...liked the outfit. And he wanted a certain prince to see it too. Was that weird? He felt like it should be weird, but he didn't actually think it was...
"It's c-comfortable," he said defensively.
"Oh, good," Sheik said. "I was worried there for a second. The pictures really don't do it justice. Sharky deserves to see it in its full splendour and glory."
Link stared at the slate. "G-Got a th-thing for c-crossdressers, do you?" he asked.
"And if I do?" Sheik asked, verbal knives out and ready to flay him if he responded wrongly.
"N-Nothing," he replied.
"That's right, nothing," Sheik said. "And I don't, for the record...only you."
"Aw...?"
As they headed for the gates in a single file, Risa had positioned herself specifically behind Link. He could feel her gaze digging into the back of his head as she came closer and finally whispered, "So...how does it work? With two voe, I mean."
"Good question," Sheik said, and began to explain, in unnecessarily graphic details, exactly how it worked between two men.
It left both Link and Risa blushing...but she also looked rather intrigued.
"Could I ask you some more questions later?" she asked. "I...er...a friend wants to know."
"Sure thing," Sheik agreed.
Link wanted to die.
"I heard the word sand seal," Sheik said. "And I'm not sure what I expected. A literal sand seal wasn't it, though."
"G-Good to kn-know you can s-still be s-surprised," Link said, paying careful attention to Ayla as she showed him how to put the headgear and bridles on his designated seal—a plump creature that was currently busy devouring the treats he'd been told to offer as a way to bond with it.
It really did look like a seal, and glided through the sand just as gracefully as a seaborne one could the water. It still looked...odd, to Link, but if this would save them having to trudge through the desert, he was all for it.
It was damn cute, that was for sure.
"Kei is a gentle soul," Ayla explained, patting the sand seal's head as she attached the harness with experienced hands. "Treat him right, and he'll treat you right. As long as you're careful and keep your turns gentle and not too sharp, you'll do fine."
"A-Anything to k-keep in m-mind?" Link asked, watching as another Gerudo took off with her seal.
It was strange—rather than riding on its back, she was letting the seal drag her along the sand by the harness, using a round metal plate as a sled of sorts, gently tugging on the reins to guide the seal in the direction she wanted to go.
It reminded him of the time he'd surfed down the hills of the Domain on his shield. He grinned a little at the thought, remembering how much fun it had been. And Sheik's panic.
"Just remember that, technically, Kei is in control. You're only suggesting where you should go," Ayla said. "Most of the time, he'll agree. If not, feed him a treat, and then he will agree."
"So, the thing's an extortionist?" Sheik said, sounding impressed. "Or is it more like fair wage for fair work?"
"Pretty much," Ayla said, not elaborating on which she meant, finishing her work and scratching Kei under his chin. He huffed and licked her hand, making her laugh. "You're a good boy, aren't you?" She motioned to Link. "Come on, get yourselves acquainted—we'll head out in a few minutes."
Link suppressed a giggle at the tickling sensation of Kei snuffling his hand, probably looking for more treats. His thick whiskers found their way everywhere, and his nose soon tried to go into the pouch on Link's belt. He really was quite cute, and Link briefly found himself wondering how hard it would be to care for a sand seal in the more temperate parts of Hyrule...
"No, we can't keep him," Sheik said, pre-emptively.
"Aw..."
Barta wasn't sure how to feel about the situation. On one hand, it was a relief to finally be out in the open desert again, to feel the wind in her hair rather than the quiet, dead air of the Yiga caves. She and her friends were free and going home.
On the other hand, however, she was currently carrying a wounded Yiga boy over her shoulder, who had been struck by a projectile that, through some sort of magic, was preventing his blood from clotting properly, meaning he was at a severe risk of bleeding out very soon. They were also being chased by several members of the boy's clan (including their leader), along with a few bokoblins and lizalfos who'd joined in on the hunt.
And on the third, non-existent hand, there was the inevitable lecture she'd receive first from Buliara (whose orders she'd gone against to try and rescue her captured sisters), and then by Riju (who'd ordered Buliara to give her orders in the first place). If there was anything left of her after that, she was certain her mother would deliver the killing blow for putting herself in that kind of danger in the first place.
...she'd probably stand a better chance in the Yiga dungeons, come to think of it.
There was a groan in her ear, and she adjusted her hold on Kiro.
"Hang in there, kid," she said. "Just try not to bleed to death before we get you to a healer."
"I'll...try..." Kiro muttered.
"Good boy." She looked to the girl running next to her. "Jena the sun's rising, how's it looking back there?"
Jena glanced behind them, trying to spot their pursuers. "Hard to say," she answered. "They're still there, but the terrain is slowing them down."
"Think we can leave 'em in the dust if we pick up the pace?"
"Maybe? I don't think we can escape them entirely, but maybe we can put enough space between them and us to set up a defensive position at the old fort?"
"With what?" Barta asked. "Between us and the kid we've got three swords and a few daggers. That's not nearly enough to put up a fight against them."
"I'd rather stand and fight than get run down," Jena said. "How about you?"
"Can't argue with that," Barta said, raising her voice. "All in favour?!"
The others called out their agreements for a unanimous stand.
"All right, then—to the ruins!"
Link was glad he was wearing the Sheikah mask, or he was sure he'd be scaring the Gerudo with his manic grin. It was just too much fun, getting pulled along the sand by Kei. He hadn't expected the sheer speed a sand seal could achieve with a little urging and some words of praise. He'd expected the friction, introduced by the shield-sized metal plate he was using as a sled, would give Kei some trouble, but he showed no signs whatsoever of being bothered, pulling Link along effortlessly, so fast the wind was whistling in his ears.
Even Sheik seemed to be enjoying himself, though Link based that on the lack of annoyed comments. Or maybe he was just busy recording their journey.
There was a surprising number of things to see in the desert, contrary to what Link had expected. When he thought about a desert, he just imagined sand, and lots of it.
There was, of course, a lot of sand, but not just it. The monotony was broken up by rock formations and small patches of greenery that survived either by hoarding moisture from the rare occasions on which it rained or drank from deep underground wells that only the most persistent of plants could reach. There were remains of old Gerudo cities and civilisations so ancient no one even remembered their names.
Link's eyes took all of this in greedily, and he hoped Sheik was taking pictures, so they could share it with Sidon. It'd be a bit embarrassing if all he had to show for his journey to the south was...well, himself in that outfit. Sidon would enjoy that...he hoped...but he felt that they should have something other than that to show him.
"How's it going over here?" Ayla asked, sliding up beside him on her own sled. "Kei treating you nicely?"
"We're g-getting along," he replied, showing off a bit by having Kei go in a slight zig-zagging pattern.
"You're a natural," Ayla noted. "Usually takes people a little time to get comfortable with this."
"Link has a way with animals," Sheik piped up for the first time in a while. "It's quite uncanny."
"A gentle soul to match Kei's, then," the Gerudo said, pointing ahead of them. "We're heading for the ruins of an old Gerudo fort, where we'll make our camp. It's where we'll be waiting while you sneak into the Yiga caves. Once you're out, you'll give us a signal, and we'll split up into groups of sand seal riders and head in different directions. That'll confuse the Yiga, so they won't know who's actually got the Thunder Helm. Sound good?"
"That's your plan?" Sheik asked. "I thought you were supposed to be a good spy!"
"Everyone knows the best plans are made up as you go along," she shot back with a laugh, pulling away. "Get comfortable, Link—we'll be there in a few hours!"
"Unbelievable," Sheik told Link once she was gone. "And here I thought she'd be somewhat sensible. I bet she's one of those people who think a predetermined plan are just a list of things that go wrong, too!"
"Th-That's what y-you th-think, Sh-Sheik!"
"My point exactly!"
It was still early in the morning when they reached the ruins. From the way Ayla had described, Link had imagined something a little more impressive than the scattered pieces of weathered, vaguely rectangular stone blocks that had once served as the foundations of a defensive wall. Really, the only thing that remained to mark the fort's boundary was the square foundation, on which a few larger stone blocks still remained, and the barely-standing archway that had once served as the entrance.
At least the thing had been built on solid bedrock that jutted out of the sand, providing whoever holed up in it with a somewhat comprehensive view of the surrounding area, which was mostly flat, sandy desert. Directly ahead of them was the mountain range in which the Yiga had made their home, and Link did not look forward to rooting through it.
"Better than nothing, I guess," Sheik drawled, not impressed. "Couldn't have gone somewhere with, you know, walls?"
"You could have stayed in town," Ayla pointed out, already marking out her spot in the camp, laying her bedroll down on the sandy rock. "Would have spared us all a lot of headaches."
"Nah, Link and I are a package deal."
"My sympathies, Link."
"Haha..."
Link dropped his own pack near a stone block that would, hopefully, provide some shelter from the wind. The other members of the group, nine in all excluding Ayla, were keeping a respectful distance from him...or maybe they were just wary. Even the one who had shown a close interest in his relationship with his husbands was staying away.
"They're just not sure how to treat you, I think," Sheik said. "After finding out you're a voe—er, a man."
"I haven't ch-changed, th-though," Link replied. "I'm still th-the same."
"Weird how much that thing between your legs can mean to some people," the Sheikah said with a scoff. "They'll see what you are soon enough, I'm sure, especially when you come back with the Thunder Helm."
"Hm..."
"Captain!" Risa called from atop her perch on what remained of a guard tower. She'd been named lookout for the morning, a task she had not relished. "I see movement!"
"What direction?" Ayla asked.
"From the north...heading this way, I think!"
Link joined them at the foundations, leaning forwards to catch the faint sight of a sand cloud in the distance.
"Could be a pod of sand seals," one of the other Gerudo suggested. "They tend to move fast enough to kick up a cloud like that."
"They don't generally move in straight lines, though," another pointed out. "This one's heading straight for us."
"I think..." Risa said, trailing off. "Huh..."
"What? What is it?!" Ayla demanded.
"It's...it's Barta!" Risa exclaimed. "And the others! And...oh no, they're being chased by a bunch of Yiga and bokoblins and whatever the hell else Ganon's got on his side! They're on foot!"
That threw the camp into movement immediately as the warriors dumped their packs and drew their weapons, whistling for their sand seals to return from their short break. Link followed suit, grabbing his Ancient shield and the Master Sword. He left his bow and arrows behind, not really confident at his ability to fire it while surfing along the sand.
"They've got a kid with them! A Yiga!" Risa called out just as she jumped off the tower remains. "They look wounded—bad!"
Link paused, his stomach giving a lurch.
"Now," Sheik said quietly, "what do you think the chances are...?"
The Hero didn't answer, forcing himself to move just a little faster.
Of all the damned luck...
Minutes later, they were hurtling across the sand again, a sense of urgency snapping at their backs, causing them to urge their mounts forward. Link wasn't sure how to make Kei go faster, but the animal must have sensed his nervousness—or perhaps he simply felt compelled to keep up with his fellow seals—because he sped up anyway. He'd though they'd moved fast before, but this was real speed. Behind them, a veritable sandstorm was kicked up by their seals' movements.
"Give me an enemy count!" Ayla called from the front of the formation.
"Twenty, or so!" someone replied.
"I count twenty-five!"
"Okay! We're playing interference for now—we have to give Barta and the others a chance to reach the fort! Standard approach—harass them as best you can, but do not stop to engage! The moment you stop, you're dead! Link, are you with us?!"
"I am!" he called back. "Wh-Where do you n-need me?!"
"Stick with me for now!" Ayla replied, a mere blurry shape obscured by a shower of sand. "Just follow my lead and be a pain in the ass for the enemy! Give 'em all you've got!"
"I have an idea for that!" Sheik said. "Link, I think it's time we make things go kablooey!"
"Agreed!" Link replied, changing his grip so he was holding the reins in one hand, hoping to Hylia that Kei wouldn't mind his orders being a little more erratic. He held his free hand palm up, and a second later one of the round bombs appeared in a flash of blue light. The others were surprised by the sudden appearance.
"What the hell is that?!" Risa asked, somewhere behind him.
"The best kind of ball!" Sheik replied. "The explode-y kind!"
"S-Stay clear of th-them!" Link warned.
"You heard him, girls!" Ayla called out. "Don't get vaporised, now!"
One of the Gerudo in the front let out a ululating battle cry, raising her scimitar above her head, and the others quickly joined in. Link kind of wanted to as well, but he had no idea how to make that sound, so he simply focused on steering Kei as best he could, careful not to drop the, as Sheik put it, explode-y ball.
And then the battle was on.
From a distance, it would have looked like this:
Two dust clouds approaching each other at a breakneck pace, one a little larger and faster than the other. Just before the clouds would have collided with each other, the larger, faster one split in half, diving itself into two groups of rapidly moving shapes. The shapes immediately moved to encircle the second cloud, darting in and out between the individual shapes that made up the cloud.
Every now and then, there was a flash of blue light and a bunch of sand being scattered every which way around these flashes. This was followed by a muted boom, and the pained screams of whatever unfortunate creature that was caught in the blast.
Every now and then, one of the shapes fell down and stopped moving, felled by one of the faster-moving shapes.
All in all, it was quite clean-looking, and even somewhat peaceful with the exception of the explosions.
In the middle of the fray, of course, it was quite a different tale.
Link barely ducked in time to avoid the blade of the sickle that flew through the air, thrown by one of the Yiga soldiers. Standing back up, he pulled the reins to have Kei turn just so and stuck out his hand, which was clenched into a fist. It struck the Yiga right on his chin, and his hand erupted with pain.
He didn't have much time to contemplate the stupidity of that move, as Sheik was already shrieking.
"Lizalfos, two o'clock! Give it hell!"
No bomb manifested, so Link drew the Master Sword instead, gritting his teeth at the discomfort, swinging it at the vague, lizard-like shape in the dust. The blade glowed brightly, and cleaved right through the thing, blood spraying from the gruesome wound he'd just cut into it.
"Nice!"
Sheathing the sword again and turning Kei in a wide half-circle, he spotted a group of enemies clumped together. "Sheik!" he called. "Bomb!"
"Din above, I love it when you start blowing shit up!" Sheik exclaimed with glee as another bomb appeared. Link waited until he was too close to possibly miss, and hurled the thing into the nearest bokoblin's face. It squealed loudly, dropping its spiky club. The others around it stopped short, gathering around the glowing bomb, regarding it with more curiosity than anything.
"Now!"
It exploded, throwing up a cloud of debris and...well, remains. Link was glad he wasn't there to see the aftermath, already heading for the next group, following Ayla as best he could...though that was easier said than done with his vision obscured.
"Perfectly timed!" Sheik rejoiced.
Ahead of them, Ayla let out another battle cry and struck out at a stray Yiga. They ducked beneath her blade, but that only put them in perfect position to be struck by her foot, which she lashed out at the exact time to catch them on the chin at peak momentum. Their mask shattered, and their head snapped back at an angle a neck definitely wasn't supposed to be able to bend.
"All right, I think that's close enough!" Ayla said, making sure she had Link's attention. "Link, escort Barta and the others back to the fort! We'll keep the enemy off your backs!"
"Why me?!"
"Because I think Barta has what we came out here for in the first place! You protect that helmet, got it?!"
"All right, all right!"
"Hey, you didn't stutter!" Sheik pointed out. "Well done!"
Must be the excitement, Link thought, diverting Kei southwards, realising that the enemy had mostly been forced to stop in order to protect themselves against the harassing seal riders. On the other side of the group, he saw Risa pulling away as well, presumably with the same orders. She gave him a cheerful wave with her scimitar...which was covered in blood.
"I think Risa is my favourite Gerudo ever," Sheik said. "She's everything you could possibly want in a woman!"
"I'm sure she'll be flattered!"
"You think so?"
"Hey, who're you with, anyway?"
"Aw, Link, are you jealous?"
"Shut up!"
By the time Link and Risa caught up with Barta's group, they were already climbing the hill the fort stood on. Link tried not to focus too much on the red-clad body she was carrying over her shoulder, a red-stained cloth pressed tightly to their shoulder.
"Hey, Barta!" Risa greeted. "What's that you got there?!"
"The reason we were able to escape!" Barta fired back, her voice rough and breath coming out in ragged pants. "He's hurt!"
"We've got some medical supplies back at camp!" Risa said, pointing to the fort. "Just keep going!"
"How'd you know where to find us?!"
"We didn't—we were escorting Link to the caves to bust you guys out and get the Thunder Helm back!"
Link waved to Barta at the woman's surprised look. Then she laughed. "Guess we spared you a trip, then!"
"So it seems!"
"Why are we stopping?" Sheik asked.
"We can't keep up the pace for very long, and we don't have enough sand seals to carry everyone," Risa explained, petting her seal before smacking it on the rump, causing it to take off back towards Gerudo Town. She then picked up her metal sled, hefting it like a shield to go with her scimitar.
They were standing at the base of the fort, which Barta and her group had already retreated inside. Link still hadn't been able to get a good look at their Yiga companion, but he just knew it was Kiro, who had probably done something extremely stupid to get himself into this situation. Just as he had back at Death Mountain.
He was a trouble magnet, that boy.
"So we're just, what, making our stand here?"
"Pretty much," Risa confirmed, pausing. "Well, we are. Ayla will probably have you go back to town with the helmet."
"Oh, well...that's good. Not really a big fan of hopeless causes, and all that."
"I'm not that hopeless," Risa said with a good-humoured grin. "I will bag myself a voe one day, believe you me!"
"Never give up, Risa!"
"I won't!"
"What about th-the c-captives?" Link asked, gesturing to the fort. "Sh-Shouldn't th-they be allowed to r-run?"
Risa shook her head. "Gerudo don't back down from a fight. Plus, without their extra numbers, we'll all die anyway, so..."
Link thought for a moment. "I s-see," he said, giving Kei a good stroke under his chin before slapping his flank and sending him off as well. "I'm s-staying."
He'd half-expected Risa to argue, but all she did was give him a look of approval and a nod. "Not a coward, then," she said. "Good. Come on, then, we've got defences to prepare."
They headed for the entrance, where Risa looked thoughtfully at the remains of the arch...and the loose sand beneath it.
"How many of those bomb-things can you conjure at the same time?" she asked.
"How many do you need?" Sheik asked cheerfully in return.
Kiro's head was swimming, every attempt to open his eyes resulting in a massive, exploding headache that forced them shut immediately. His should was burning and itching, but someone kept stopped him from touching it, grabbing his hands and forcing them away.
At least he was lying down now, on something soft, unlike the thumping, uncomfortable shoulder he'd been mercilessly thrown across before. There'd been a lot of shouting and screaming, and smoke and noise, the smell of blood...he could still hear that in the distance, but it was much calmer now.
"Stop touching it," a harsh voice said above him. "You're going to make it worse!"
"It hurts," he whined, coughing from his sore throat.
"I know, but touching it is just going to give you an infection! Bad enough that it's probably poisoned in the first place! Now lay still!"
"H-How is h-he?"
Now there was a voice that sounded familiar. He couldn't quite place it, though—every thought felt like it was obscured by an impenetrable fog, conjured from the mire of pain he was currently swimming in.
"Not good," the first voice replied. "Yiga bastard hit him with some sort of thrown weapon, and I think it was poisoned. His blood won't clot."
"What h-happened?"
"We were almost free, but they caught us at the entrance—we'd probably be dead now if it weren't for this one's planning." A hand—blessedly cool—gently touched his forehead. "Who are you, anyway?"
"I'm L-Link," the second voice said, and its identity clicked into place in Kiro's head. "Riju sent m-me to r-retrieve the Th-Thunder Helm."
"Huh...a Hylian wearing Sheikah armour?"
"L-Long story."
"Link..." Kiro moaned.
"K-Kiro, I'm h-here," Link's voice said, now a little closer. "H-Hold on, okay? You're g-going to be f-fine."
"The helmet..."
"Oh, right," Barta—that was her name!—said, followed by the sound of rustling cloth. "He stole it back for us."
"Of c-course h-he did," Link said, sighing.
Kiro dared to try opening his eyes just a crack, and while the light felt like an assault on his brain, he was relieved see that it was indeed the Hylian Champion sitting beside him, a worried expression on his face. He tried to reach out, but his limbs were heavy like lead. Link caught on to it, however, and took his hand.
"Did I do good...?" Kiro asked.
"Y-Yeah, y-you did," Link said, smiling. "And y-you'll do m-more good in th-the future. J-Just h-hold on. Or I'll l-let Sh-Sheik y-yell at y-you."
Even as tired as he was, the thought of that was absolutely terrifying. In fact, he could have sworn he heard Sheik already, telling someone to dig faster. What were they digging, Kiro's grave?
"Please don't," he whimpered.
"B-Better stay awake, th-then."
If that wasn't enough motivation, nothing would be.
"Hey, Linkle, give me a hand with this!"
"C-Coming!"
After promising he'd be back soon, Link was gone. Kiro hoped he'd be back soon. Then he realised something.
"Who's Linkle?"
It didn't take long for Ayla and the others to return, all passing through the archway after sending their seals away. There were no casualties, luckily, but the news Ayla brought with her was anything but good.
"There's another group of enemies," she said, drinking from her water skin. "Smaller than the first, but...I think they've got Kohga with them."
"Are you sure?" Risa asked.
"Well, not a hundred percent, but he's pretty damn fat and fits the description of him."
"Sounds about right," Barta agreed. "He came to taunt us a few times in the dungeon. A real piece of shit." She glanced back at the bedroll on which she'd placed Kiro. "Didn't even hesitate to hurt him."
"Hey, that means we get to kill two birds with one stone," Sheik said. "We recover the Thunder Helm and we kill the traitors' leader! This is a win-win situation as far as I'm concerned!"
"You literally said not twenty minutes ago that our fight was a hopeless cause," Risa pointed out, giving the slate a confused look.
"He ch-changes his m-mind a l-lot," Link offered as an explanation. "And he l-likes m-mayhem."
"This is going to be great!"
Link gestured to the slate. "See?"
"Eugh, never mind, it's too late to change our minds now. Get ready!"
Link readied his bow, nocking an arrow to the string. It was a normal arrow, with a regular steel head. He had bomb and thunder arrows with him but given how close to each other the Gerudo were clumped, he didn't dare use them in case he missed and hit one of his allies.
The Gerudo had spread themselves out across the fortress, taking cover behind the stone blocks scattered around the area. They all had bows of their own, and the plan was to let the enemy pass through the archway and start pelting them with arrows, and then draw in close for melee afterwards.
They had a surprise prepared, too.
"Just give the word, Link," Sheik reminded him.
"G-Got it."
The thundering sound of approaching enemies was growing louder and louder, a mix of shouting and bestial screeching. Link gripped his bow tightly, his hand shaking slightly. But it wasn't fear that gripped his heart the tightest—it was anticipation. For the first time, he was surprised to find himself wanting to fight. Possibly just to put an end to the tension he was feeling, but still...
Then the first lizalfos came charging through the archway, eyes lolling wildly about in its search for prey. Link's arrow went right through its skull, killing it instantly, and it hit the ground like a sack of potatoes.
More enemies came charging in its wake, and the Gerudo loosed arrows of their own. Some hit, some missed. One unfortunate Yiga took an arrow to the knee, and another to his throat right afterwards. More enemies came, to the point where the archway became choked with bodies. It was time.
"Sheik!" Link called.
"Yeah!" Sheik cheered.
"Take cover!" he warned the Gerudo, making sure they were ducking behind their cover of choice before doing so himself.
For a split-second, there was an intense, blue glow coming from the sand beneath the archway, so bright that the light was reflected off the stone. And then there was a deafening boom that shook the bedrock on which they stood. It took several seconds for the shaking to stop, and by the time Link peeked over the rock he was huddled behind, the archway was gone, a smoking crater left in its place...and a lot of dead bodies.
And yet, more enemies came pouring into the fort. A few measly arrows did nothing to stop them.
"Swords!" Ayla called, audible even over the ringing in his ears. "Cut 'em down!"
Link put his bow down and stood up, drawing his sword and activating his shield, charging out from his position alongside the Gerudo, adding his own battle cry to theirs as the lines drew met.
His first opponent was an unusually large bokoblin that stood at Link's height, or even a little taller. It struck at him hard with its club, but the blow bounced off the Ancient shield and caused it to smack itself in the face. Link took advantage of the sheer confusion that caused by running it through with the Master Sword. No sooner had he pulled the sword back out did another creature take its place, this one a lizalfos whose horn crackled with electricity. It ducked below his strike, and barely managed to avoid its knife...but not its horn.
It barely touched him, but it caused his entire body to go rigid for a moment, his muscles convulsing. He pushed through the pain and smacked the lizalfos with the flat of his shield, and then slammed the hilt of his sword into its chin, followed by a quick slash across its throat.
After that, things became...chaotic. There were no orderly battle lines or tactical overview. There was only blades, blood, and screams. Link swung his sword until his arm grew tired, blocking blows with his shield until he nearly lost his grip. Now and then, Sheik conjured a bomb that he hurled haphazardly into the nearest cluster of enemies.
The heat was unbearable, and the irony tinge of blood in the air coated his tongue with every breath.
He saw a Gerudo go down, unable to defend against three Yiga swordsmen at the same time. He was relieved to see it wasn't Ayla or Risa, for which he felt guilty. In retaliation, he took down two of the swordsmen in quick succession with his sword, while the third had an unfortunate run-in with a spear thrown by Risa.
Then his nose exploded, and he saw stars as he went tumbling along the ground, feeling blood dripping down his face. He recovered just in time to block another punch by a seemingly unarmed Yiga, a crazed expression on her face, mouth twisted in a scream. She made to attack Link again, but in a move that he felt compelled to do, he simply raised his sword and let her impale herself on it.
"Idiot," Sheik scoffed.
"F-Fuck!" Link exclaimed, wiping his bleeding nose. "Is it broken?!"
"Not really the time to worry about that, now is it?!"
"Hey, you okay?!"
He looked up, a Gerudo was offering him her hand to help him—he didn't know her name, but he intended to learn it once they were done, and—
It happened so fast. One moment she was alive, trying to pull him up. The next, what appeared to be a giant, jagged metal beam had pierced her chest and yanked her away, her body disappearing in the throng of fighters, leaving Link spattered with her blood.
Behind her stood the biggest Yiga Link had ever seen...but where the big ones from before had been all muscle, this one seemed to be all fat, his body rotund and protruding everywhere, his belt struggling to hold in his girth, his skin-tight bodysuit leaving far too little to the imagination. His hair was done up in an absolutely ridiculous topknot, his mask decorated with little porcelain wings. The dumbest thing, however, was the gigantic fur collar attached to his uniform with a big metal clasp.
What kind of idiot wears fur in a desert?!
"Ah, there you are, Champion," the newcomer drawled, his voice annoyingly high-pitched. "I've been looking for you. I am Kohga, Master of the Yiga!"
"That's Kohga?" Sheik asked in disbelief. "Sheesh, someone needs to lay off the bananas. I mean, damn!"
"Ah, the voice in the slate," Kohga said, directing his attention to the device. "Such a pleasure to make your acquaintance! Lord Ganon has big plans for you!"
Link reactivated his shield, holding it in front of him. "Over my dead body!"
Kohga chuckled. "That was rather the plan, you know?" He held up a hand, another metal spike seemingly growing out of the bloody sand at their feet. "Lord Ganon wants you dead...but I am feeling magnanimous today. How about a deal, Champion? Hand over the slate and the Thunder Helm, and I'll let give you a head start to escape. You might even make it out of here alive."
"No deal, you traitorous blubber lump!"
Kohga growled. "How dare you!" he shrieked, lashing out with the spike, which undulated unpleasantly before shooting forward. Link batted it aside with his shield, but it recovered too quickly for him to get closer to Kohga. He tried cutting it with his blade, but it simply bounced, not nearly sharp enough to cut through the enchanted metal.
"Son of a...he made that thing with the iron particles in the sand!"
"Does it matter how he did it?" Link asked, doing his best to keep up with the rapid strikes from the spike.
"Well, no, but it's pretty interesting, you know?"
"You can analyse it to your heart's content later, just help me!"
"Stop ignoring me and fight, damn you!" Kohga shrieked, another spike joining the first, pushing Link backwards.
"Be quiet, Tubby, I'm trying to analyse your bullshit magic, so hold still, all right?"
As Sheik spoke, a bomb materialised at Link's feet, and the Hero kicked it as hard as he could at Kohga, who had to dive gracelessly out of the way, tumbling in a very undignified fashion, conjuring yet another metal spike from the sand and lashing out at Link, this time from an angle he couldn't cover.
He parried the first two, but he just wasn't fast enough for the third. He braced himself, waiting for the sharp bite of metal cutting into his skin...but a red blur got in the way.
Kiro cried out as the spike glanced off his sword, forcing it into an upwards trajectory, cutting across his face and throwing him backwards. Link heard Kiro hit the ground behind him, but here was no time to check on him—the spikes came at him once more, even faster this time.
"Kiro!"
"Damn it!" Link muttered, deactivating the Ancient shield and slamming his knuckles together, feeling Daruk's power rising within him, the mighty magic shield appearing just in time for the spikes to bounce off of, one of them breaking apart, unable to overcome the Goron Champion's protective bubble.
"Too early!"
"I know!" Link snarled, shuddering when the shield dropped far too early for his liking, leaving him panting and exhausted.
"Last chance, Champion," Kohga said, still keeping Link away with the remaining two spikes...one of which had a nasty-looking crack down the middle, barely holding itself together. "Give me the slate or die!"
Link raised his middle finger to the Yiga leader. "Fuck you!"
"Oooh, good comeback!" Sheik crowed. "Always go with the classics!"
"Arrrghhhh! That's it!" Kohga snarled, raising his hands in front of him, the sand at his feet stirring and spiralling into the air. "Behold, Lord Ganon's power, bestowed upon me to bring death to his enemies! I will crush you, Champion, and then I will take the slate!"
Drawing more metal from the sand, Kohga's next construction started small. Another spike, elongating and twisting itself into knots as it grew longer and longer, gaining barbs and spikes. It grew and twisted, until it was a metal construct bigger than Kohga himself, and it just kept getting bigger, looking like a giant, mechanical grinder, floating just above them.
"This will shred you into nothing, Champion!" Kohga laughed. "There'll be nothing left of you to bury, much less for the Shrine of Resurrection to rebuild! Never again will you stand in Lord Ganon's way! The princess will fall, and then the world will follow!"
Link stared at the machinery Kohga had constructed, fairly confident that, should he touch any moving part of it, he was done. The spikes still kept him from moving close, and if he didn't do something soon...
"Uh, Link?"
"Yes?!"
"Hold me up?"
"What?!"
"Just hold me up. Now!"
Dropping his shield, Link did so, pointing the slate at Kohga, who immediately paused, looking intrigued.
"Are...Are you giving up?" the Yiga leader asked in disbelief, his device stopping its rapid growth. "Are you giving me the slate?"
"What?" Sheik asked. "Pfft, of course not!"
Link saw the rune appearing on the slate's screen, and immediately knew what Sheik was going for. The magnesis beams shot out of the slate's ports, connecting with the metal construct. Link pointed the slate up, which brought construct with it, dangling it in the air just above Kohga...who took a good second or two to realise what was happening.
"Oh...oh no," the fat man managed to whimper before Link tilted the slate down.
The metal construct slammed directly down onto the Yiga leader with great force, amplified by the slate's movements, crushing him into the ground and leaving his remains a wet smear on the sand. With his death, the magic he'd possessed disappeared, and the construct fell apart as easily as it had been created, iron particles piling up to mark the spot of Kohga's grave, covering up the mess quite neatly.
"Yeah, how's that for a banana?!"
The battlefield fell silent. The fighters had all stopped struggling to watch the spectacle and subsequent death of the Yiga master.
Sensing the disappearance of their master's magic, the lizalfos and bokoblins were the first to break, running away with their tails between their legs. The Yiga followed quickly after, cries of "Master Kohga!" on the echoing among them.
The remaining Gerudo—Link was relieved to see only a few of them had fallen—all stared at Link...or rather, at Sheik.
There was a slightly embarrassed silence from the Sheikah.
"What? I couldn't think of a good line, okay?!"