The Legend of Zelda, its characters and locations are all property of Nintendo. Any and all OCs and original locations belong to me unless specifically stated to belong to someone else.

The Voice
Chapter 57 - Skeletal Applause

Consciousness returned to him at a snail's pace, slowly trickling into place. It felt...wrong. Like he was being poured into a different mould, formed entirely wrong compared to what he was supposed to be. Like his mind was being shaped into something, whereas before it had been...flat, or a lump of clay.

It was...odd.

Odder still, was the sensation of something being there, below him. Like he was lying on a hard surface. He could feel it, at his back, beneath his legs.

Huh, he could feel a back and legs.

And at his sides...yes, arms. Two of them, long, terminating in hands with five fingers each. He tried to move them, and felt them twitch in response to the command, but it was minute and slow, like they weren't quite ready yet.

Everything was dark, but at his front (huh, he had a front, too) there was something that felt like they could be...opened. Eyelids. Yes, those things. They, too, twitched in response to his request to open, painfully slowly.

The left one felt different to the one on the right. More...responsive. Mechanical, almost. Made sense.

Wait, if he had eyelids, then that would mean he also had...eyes? Right?

The question was answered moments later, as light flooded his photoreceptors...and gods above did it hurt. Pain receptors flared up and sent panicked messages to his brain telling him that he was about to go blind if he didn't close his eyes now. So he did, out of reflex than conscious desire.

Everything was so...new. He was still trying to figure out the feeling of a hard floor beneath him, and he wasn't ready for the sudden sensory assault, almost making him whimper.

Almost.

He was made out of stronger stuff, though, and settled for a hiss instead, and gave in to the instinctual need to rub at his eyelids, as if massaging the eyeballs would help. The movement was impeded by something keeping his arms from moving—rope, or something with a similarly rough texture and flexibility.

The attempt at movement woke dormant pain receptors in his shoulders as well, and they informed him quite firmly that something was wrong there as well.

Another hiss was in order.

It was cut short, however, by the feeling of something sharp touching his neck, turning it into more of a gasp.

"It's awake," a male voice spoke, just above his head. "Get the others!"

"Right!" a female voice responded, and he heard the slapping of bare feet on stone, felt the vibrations in the hard surface beneath him, growing weaker as the source moved away.

He took the chance on opening his eyes again, and the pain wasn't as bad this time, though the sudden flood of visual information was quite unpleasant since the experience was so very unfamiliar. He caught the glimpse of something grey and feathery before his left eye was covered up by something. Warm and soft.

"Not that one," the person above him growled. "You keep that one shut, or I'll gouge it out myself."

It took him a moment to place the voice, unfamiliar with its tone, at least when it was directed at him. The unfamiliarity was soon filtered away, however, and combined with the visual and tactile information, the realisation slammed into place immediately.

Teba?

Where the fuck had he come from?

No matter, there were more pressing business at the moment.

"You keep it closed, understand?" Teba growled, and it was almost frightening how...angry he sounded.

He could do little else but nod. He tried to speak, but his throat felt full and dry. He tried clearing it, resulting in a lance of pain at the back of his throat, and a strange, hoarse croak of a sound. At least there was a recognisable vowel in there somewhere.

"If...I...really wanted to shoot you," he said slowly, getting a feel for the clumsy way to form sounds and the absolutely hideous sensation of his tongue—Din above, a tongue!—moving inside his mouth, "I could do it through the aperture, Tweety."

There was a sharp gasp from Teba, and the pressure of the knife at his throat was eased a little.

"What did you call me?" the Rito asked, tone disbelieving.

There really was little else he could do but try to clear any sort of misconceptions before it was too late and he was killed. He cleared his throat again, wincing at the dry feel of his throat, like it was full of sand.

"Have you gone deaf, Tweety? Been listening to too much terrible accordion music lately?"

He dared to open the eye he hadn't been instructed to keep shut, found Teba's beaked face staring down at him, eyes wide in surprise, plumage as grey as ever. Those black feathers over his eyes really did make him look perpetually angry. He gave the Rito a small grin.

"How's it going?" he asked, perhaps enjoying the moment a little too much.

Teba's beak opened and snapped shut a few times as he studied the face beneath him carefully, still keeping the sharp object ready to cut at any time. Finally, his beak opened for the last time, and after a moment said,

"Sheik?"

"Got it in one," Sheik replied, his grin growing a little wider. "Hey, Tweety."

The blade—a wicked-looking knife with a curved blade, as it turned out—was removed entirely, and Teba sat back on his haunches, looking down at him, clearly not sure how to proceed here. Sheik decided to help him out.

"Any questions?" he asked, coughing a little.

"I...how are you...I mean...how?"

The unflappable had, finally, been flapped! Sheik wished he'd thought to record the moment...but that was a function he needed to figure out later. Instead, he simply took in the sight of it for a moment before deciding to explain.

"Turns out Stabby here didn't have a good grip on security," he said. "Or...not good enough. I managed to move myself into this body from the slate without him noticing, and then I bluffed my way into getting root access, burned Ganon out from the inside, and voila, I'm in control." He coughed again. This was really getting annoying. "You don't have any water, do you?"

There was a long moment where Teba's eyes looked into Sheik's (or, the seemingly normal one, at least. Sheik kept the other one closed, for the Rito's comfort more than anything). He was thinking deeply, the feathers of his brow twitching as the skin beneath moved. He kept a firm grip on his knife, long fingers twitching every now and then.

"Stabby?" he finally asked.

"It felt like an appropriate nickname at the time," Sheik replied. "On account of the...well, you know, stabbing." He paused. "Is Link all right? Did he get away?"

Sheik knew what guilt felt like. Between his mind and the slate's functions, it had managed to approximate that twisting feeling in one's chest and stomach that everyone always compared it to. He wasn't prepared for how visceral real thing was...or as close to the real thing a body like this could get.

Why hadn't he asked about Link right away? Was he that confident that he'd gotten the Hero away safely in time?

He had to, right? Otherwise he was pretty sure Teba wouldn't have bothered with tying Stabby up. He would just have destroyed him right away in revenge. He'd kill both Sheik and Stabby in the process, but he'd have no way of knowing that.

Gods, please let him be all right.

"He's...all right, all things considered," Teba said, nodding. "That was some good thinking, teleporting him to the shrine. The Zora princess, Mipha, managed to heal him in the nick of time."

Sheik breathed out in relief.

Huh.

He had lungs now. He felt them expanding and compressing with each breath, which was taken almost automatically. Well, it was done automatically. Sheik knew the exact subprocess that told the body to keep breathing, but it was filtered through an organic component that he had no idea how worked at all. It was a bit like...well, fucking magic.

"That's good," he said. "I was worried...but I couldn't take my attention off Stabby for even a second to check."

Teba put his knife away and pulled out a water skin, uncorked it and put it to Sheik's lips, apparently satisfied with his response. For a split-second, Sheik almost panicked, unsure if he knew how swallowing worked, but his body responded on its own, drinking greedily from the skin, feeling so parched he almost lost awareness of everything around him, but the skin was soon removed, and he whimpered at the loss.

"Easy," Teba said. "Too much too soon, and you'll make yourself sick."

Right. Sick. That was probably a risk with this new body.

Sheik glared at him. "What are you even doing here?" he asked, unable to contain his curiosity any longer. "Last I checked, you were supposed to be back in your village with your family."

Teba let him have another sip as he spoke. "Yes, well, circumstances forced me on the move."

"Yeah?" Sheik asked after swallowing another mouthful of soothing water. He didn't even care what his body did with it, or how. "What circumstances?"

"Someone...or something with your face and voice stumbling through our territory," Teba said calmly. "I tried to confront it, but it obliterated a clearing and got away. It was after the Hero, so I decided to come and warn you."

Sheik frowned. "You missed us at the Domain," he said.

"Just," Teba said, nodding. "I was delayed by a storm, and then I arrived at the Domain only to find you'd already gone."

Sheik grinned. "You must have been pissed."

"Annoyed," Teba corrected him. "And worried that I was going to be too late to stop some horrible creation of Ganon's from killing my family."

"Family? Wait, is Saki here? Tulin?"

Teba shook his head with a snort. "No, they're safely back home where they belong. You two, however, are not, as much as I wish you were. For a while, I was sure I was too late. Link had survived, but you..."

It took a moment for Sheik's brain to catch up with what Teba had said. It struck him like a brick.

"I'm sorry," he said, working his jaw back and forth. Pain receptors in the joints there were flaring up, along with the ones on the bridge of his nose. Link must really have given Stabby what for. "Can you repeat that? I'm not sure I caught it..."

Teba was about to, but the return of the naked footsteps interrupted him. They were accompanied by two more sets, one quite heavier than the others.

"Did half of Hyrule decide to come party in here?" he asked dumbly as Ayla, Buliara, and Riju entered Naboris from the side door that led to the platforms lining the outside of the Beast.

For some reason, the Gerudo Chief wasn't wearing shoes. Sheik didn't have a lot of time to dedicate to that mystery, though, on account of the scowl on her face, which was mirrored on Ayla's and Buliara's.

"You're feeding it?!" Ayla asked, gaping at the water skin like Teba had just committed high treason.

"He was thirsty," Teba said with a shrug as he gave Sheik another sip, his tone completely even.

Sheik had to hand it to Tweety, he had perfected the art of the deadpan and underplaying whatever was happening. He had to be doing it for shits and giggles, taking pleasure in the variety of shocked, annoyed, and downright scandalised expressions that crossed each of the Gerudos' faces as they observed their ally feeding their enemy water and being pleasant to it.

Sheik would've been pissed too, had he been in their shoes.

His eyes met Teba's, and while the Rito kept his face mostly impassive, the slight twitch in the corner of his mouth told Sheik all he needed to know.

He levelled a pleasant smile on the three Gerudo, and said, "Hiya Tiny, Ayla, Slagathor. What's up?"

Another twitch told Sheik he'd done well, and it was impossible to miss how Teba angled his head just so in order to watch their reactions.

Buliara looked confused, gripping her sword so tightly it could splinter the wood of the handle. Her warrior instincts were telling her that Sheik was an enemy, but the greeting had thrown her off entirely, and now her mind was at odds with her body's reflexes. What Sheik wouldn't give to hear her thoughts right then.

Ayla, to her credit, only seemed shocked for a moment before catching on and, with a put-upon sigh, rolled her eyes and came closer.

"Should've known," she muttered. "You're a little shit, you know that?"

Riju needed no time whatsoever. Her face went red, and she shrieked. "Who are you calling Tiny, you absolute piece of—"

"My lady!" Buliara barked.

Riju paused, then finished lamely: "Melon. You absolute piece of melon."

Even Buliara was embarrassed by that one.

"I don't think I can even assign a grade for effort on that one, Tiny," Sheik said, still smiling.

"I don't understand," Buliara said, glaring down at him. "We saw the slate—it's been destroyed."

Sheik nodded. "Ah, so that's what happened to it. I suspected, but I had a small hope maybe Stabby wouldn't break it."

"Stabby?"

Their voices harmonised quite nicely, in Sheik's opinion. They could have formed a trio.

"Long story," he said, not really sure if he had the energy or patience to explain it again. "Stabby's the original controller of this body, we had a disagreement, and I took over." He looked to Teba. "Speaking of which, could you untie me, maybe? I can't really tell, but I think the ropes are cutting off my circulation. That's what it means when your extremities get all numb and tingly, right?"

"That's it," Teba confirmed, clearly trying not to appear too amused by the confusion that was currently wracking Riju and Buliara. He drew his knife again and made to cut the ropes, but the Chief made a noise, which made him pause.

"Are you sure about this?" Riju asked. "How can we be sure that this is actually Sheik? It could just be that thing pretending..."

"He called me Tweety," Teba said. "He's the only who has ever done that. That's good enough for me."

"And he gave Slagathor's name correctly," Ayla said, already dodging the annoyed hand swipe that Buliara sent her way. "Pretty sure we're the only ones who know it."

"You two are awfully calm about this," Riju said, looking between them. "Why?"

Teba and Ayla exchanged a glance, and then shrugged in complete unison.

"I find it best not to ask too many questions about these things," Teba said. "Suffice to say, Sheik has long since ceased to surprise me, and by now it's just easier and faster to accept it and move on."

That was...a little insulting, to be quite honest, but Sheik let it slide if it meant he'd be free to move about soon.

"Same," Ayla agreed. "That, and I don't even want to know the details about this—"she nodded towards Sheik's body—"whole thing. I don't think I'd ever be able to go to sleep again, if I knew. Besides, I'm fairly sure we could take him if he turns out to be something else."

Sheik found that he couldn't exactly argue with that. He was too unfamiliar with just how to move about in a proper body at the moment and trying to fight off four opponents at the same time, three of whom were actual warriors, and the last a half-pint ball of anger...yeah, those weren't good odds.

"I think Link should take a look, just in case," Teba said, beginning to saw away at the ropes binding Sheik. "If anyone would know, it's him. Where is he, anyway?"

"He wouldn't come inside," Ayla said, frowning. "Said he didn't want to face Sheik's murderer, that we should interrogate it without him."

Sheik closed his eyes—such an odd feeling, that of skin sliding against the wet orb of his eye—and sighed. "He's really upset, huh?" he asked.

"He thinks you're dead," Riju said. "Of course he's upset."

"I had to physically restrain him from killing...this," Teba said. "You, now, I guess. He wasn't happy, but I'm glad I did. Clearly, we avoided a huge mistake, and an even greater tragedy." He gave a jerk with his knife, and the ropes around Sheik's arms fell away.

The feeling of blood—or whatever the equivalent Ganon had decided to shove into this vessel—rushing back into his hands and fingers was both relieving and unpleasant at the same time.

"Thank you," he said. "For being there, I mean."

"I couldn't leave you to face this thing on your own," Teba said, sawing away at the rope holdings his legs. "You know that."

"Sure, sure," Sheik said, nodding.

"Bird dad," Ayla whispered to Riju, who giggled.

"What was that?"

"Oh, nothing," the Chief said innocently before her eyes narrowed. "How are we getting Link to him, though?"

"If Link won't come to Sheik, Sheik will come to him," Ayla said, offering Sheik her hand once his legs were free. "Come on, let's get this over with so we can start celebrating already."

Sheik prepared to take it, but paused when he realised that the vessel's left hand was not covered in skin. Or, rather, there was something that covered the fragile, bone-like metal components that allowed it to move and function as a real hand, but it was definitely not skin. It felt warm and soft to the touch, and there was definitely some synthetic equivalent of nerve receptors embedded in it, as the sensation of touch felt no different to his other hand, which did have real skin.

The substance had a slightly rubbery texture to it but had very little give. In a way, it was like touching a very warm, thin glove of some sort, its material almost black and shimmering with thousands of tiny metal particles catching the light. Beneath the surface, dozens of little golden wires could be seen running back and forth, likely delivering the power and impulses necessary to cause the joints to move.

The hand itself was slightly different to the right one, which looked about as normal as a Sheikah hand could possibly get. The synthetic hand's fingers were slightly longer and narrower, the tips terminating in sharp points with triangle-shaped nails made of some sort of plastic, almost like claws.

He flexed the hand, his ears picking up the sounds of tiny little servos creating the motions of the fingers.

"Something wrong?" Riju asked.

Sheik blinked, realising he'd been staring at his hand like it was something foreign and alien to him.

Which it kind of was, now that he thought about it.

"Huh? Oh, yeah," he said. "Just...getting used to this thing," he said, taking Ayla's hand with his normal one instead, letting her pull him to his feet.

Standing up wasn't nearly as easy as all the bipeds Sheik had ever observed made it look. To them it was all done in a single movement, going from prone to standing and running in a seamless transition. Sheik was quite unable to replicate it.

For one thing, finding the proper centre of gravity while simultaneously un-collapsing one's knees was a godsdamned challenge, and one he clearly couldn't overcome as he immediately started swaying, forcing Ayla to try and steady him...which also looked to be a potential disaster.

"Goddess, you're fucking heavy!" Ayla growled. "Give me a hand or we're both going down!"

"Half this thing is made of metal, of course it's fucking heavy," Sheik growled back.

It took the help of Teba and (a very hesitant) Buliara to keep Sheik from toppling over as he tried to figure out how to stand on these stilts that were, apparently, legs.

"Right, stand back," Sheik said, pushing everyone away. "Let me see..." He still swayed a little, but he quickly managed to find something resembling balance, though he was forced to hold his arms out to distribute the weight a little better. "Okay," he said. "I think I've got it now. Almost."

He looked to the others. Teba was nodding with approval, his face mostly neutral save for the slight quirk to the corners of his mouth. Ayla was snickering a little, though she tried (poorly) to hide it behind a fake cough. Riju's eyes were big and shiny, grinning with excitement, while Buliara...well, she mostly looked embarrassed to be there.

Such great and supportive friends, Sheik thought. He looked down as he tried to take his first step...

...and nearly fell over. His knee folded up under his weight, and he came to a half-way kneeling position before his brain caught up to what was happening and stopped it.

It was an odd sensation, half instinct and half consciously calculated. It seemed his mind was pretty much split in half between the organic and synthetic components, each going about their functions seemingly without coming into conflict.

It was weird, and shouldn't have been possible, and yet...there it was.

He became aware of feathered fingers around his right bicep, pulling him back up to stand.

"You good?" Teba asked, and Sheik could see the concern in his eyes. It was...strange, to see those eyes directed at him, but it felt...good, too.

"Y-Yeah," he replied, reasserting his balance. "Is walking this hard for everyone?" he asked.

"You'll get the hang of it," Teba said. "These are your first steps, after all."

"Eugh, you say that like I'm a new-born chick or something," Sheik said. "What's next, you're going to tell me to spread my wings?"

Teba blinked but said nothing. Sheik narrowed his eye (he still kept the synthetic one closed for the others' comfort).

"You were, weren't you?" he pressed.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Teba replied, stone cold.

Lies, Sheik wanted to shout, but seeing as Teba had pretty much saved his life by stopping Link from killing Stabby's body...well, he could let it slide.

"Hmph," he scoffed, turning his attention back to getting the hang of this walking thing. No way in hell was he going to talk to Link while toddling about like some drunken wretch.

Come on, he thought. I've got this. If Link can survive blowing himself up with a bomb, I can learn to fucking walk. Stabby managed it, and so can I.

His second step was...better. Shaky as all hell as he tried to make sense of the two differing sets of inputs he was getting, but better. No kneeling this time, which was a marked improvement. The second step caused him to sway a bit as his centre of gravity shifted with his stance. Next to him, Teba tensed up, but he mercifully kept his hands to himself, giving Sheik a moment to shift his upper body so it wasn't trying to drag itself sideways to the floor.

It worked, too. He found himself grinning a little in triumph, but he quickly forced it back off his face. It was a little embarrassing, feeling so happy for such a little thing.

"Good job," Teba muttered under his breath. "Now another."

Sheik bit back a curt response. He was trying to help without being overbearing, and Sheik appreciated that. He took another breath (so weird) and moved his right foot in another step forward. There was no buckling at the knee this time, the shaking reduced to a minimum. He was starting to understand the instructions, biological and artificial, that caused this body to move. In doing so, he quickly realised that it wasn't so much about understanding and consciously thinking about it. If he just...let the body do the work, then maybe...

Yes. His left leg moved forwards, and while he had to consciously shift his weight to avoid falling over, the limb itself was steady as a rock.

A heavy, metallic rock, but a rock nonetheless.

He took another few steps. Behind him, he heard someone clapping, and he threw a glance backwards. Ayla was the culprit, giving him a thumbs-up and a shit-eating grin. Unfortunately, that was all he saw before he realised he'd taken his focus off for too long, and he toppled over, landing on his shoulder, which immediately let him know how little it enjoyed that.

Pain, sharp and hot, shot up from his shoulder to his neck.

Fucking hell, if this was how much a little fall hurt, he didn't dare imagine how Link had felt after the bomb incident. How had he even been able to stand, after that?

"Oh shit!" Ayla exclaimed.

"Sheik, are you okay?!" Riju asked.

"Oh yeah, I'm just super," Sheik drawled, staring at the floor. "Just decided to take a tumble to see how it felt."

"And?" Buliara asked. "How was it?"

"I'll be honest, Slagathor. It was not a good time."

"Hmph," Buliara tried to scoff, but it was just a poorly hidden snort of amusement.

"All right," Teba said, hauling him back up surprisingly easy. Just how strong was this fucking bird, anyway? "Up you get. Again."

"Who made you my walking teacher?" Sheik asked.

"Seeing as I'm the only parent here, I think the job fell to me by default," Teba replied in a deadpan voice. "I taught Tulin, you know, and one day I will teach him to fly."

"Yeah, well, I hope you don't plan on including me in those lessons. This body is pretty amazing, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't sprout wings."

"You never know," the Rito said. "It's a standing offer. Come on, walk ten paces forward, turn around, and walk back."

"Look, Tweety, this is—"

"Sheik, the faster you do this, the faster you'll be able to talk to Link," Teba cut him off firmly. "And believe me, you need to talk to him."

"He's right, Sheik," Riju added, giving him a serious look. "He's not doing well. He needs you."

Sheik closed his eye, letting the darkness envelop him for a moment. Right, Link. Amazed and excited as he was to get this body, right now he had a Hero to assure that he wasn't dead. Besides, figuring the body out would be a lot more fun with Link there to watch and help. With the others, it was just...awkward.

"Fine, fine," he said, grimacing. "Let's do this."

As far as awareness went, Link kept drifting in and out of it. He was dimly aware of the fact that he'd been taken outside by someone, encouraged to sit on one of the platforms that lined Naboris' sides, to take in the view of the desert and the mountains around them, to feel the breeze.

He didn't care for the view, and he barely felt the breeze. His mind kept doubling back on itself, replaying the moment of the slate's destruction over and over again. The uncaring look on the impostor's face as it broke the slate in half, the sparks flying from the two separate pieces as the light went out of the screen, as the device grew inert and dead, all traces of life gone.

He should have been faster. He should have insisted that Teba take him there sooner. Shouldn't have fallen asleep.

Damn it, he shouldn't have left in the first place. He shouldn't have gotten so beat up by the Blight, leaving himself wide open for the impostor to gut him.

He'd handled three Blights before, why had this one been such a struggle? It had fought differently than the others, sure, but Link should have been able to take it without any problems by now. What kind of Hero was he to fall so easily to what was only a minor piece of the bigger enemy?

If he couldn't defeat the Blight easily and protect Sheik, what good would he be against Ganon? Hylia, the army would throw itself against Ganon's forces for nothing, because Link wouldn't be able to fulfil his own task.

He could see it already, the battlefield strewn with the dead. Hylians, Sheikah, Zora, Rito, Gorons, Gerudo...their faces blank and eyes unseeing. He saw them all. Teba, Yunobo, Paya, Ayla...Sidon...

How could he even face Sidon after this disaster? The prince would be expecting two lovers returning, not just the one who'd failed the other. He'd be so disappointed...first Link failed Sidon's sister, and now his lover...

Why? Why did it have to be him? Link was a failure of a Hero, so why did Sheik have to pay the price? It should have been Link, not him!

Sheathed on the floor beside him, the Master Sword gave an unhappy thrum. Its voice did not enter his mind, possibly out of respect.

Or just annoyance.

Link could hardly imagine the Sword respecting him now.

Keep trying...hah! What a load of bullshit. What good was trying if it never amounted to anything? He'd been naïve, thinking that would be enough. It hadn't been enough a hundred years ago, and now he'd fucked up even worse by allowing the slate to be destroyed. A disgusting, selfish part of him reminded him that the slate had contained what was possibly his only way of regaining the memories he had lost, as well.

But it all paled in comparison to knowing that he would never hear Sheik's voice again. Would never inwardly laugh at the huge mountains he would make out of molehills, at the sheer venom and vitriol he would throw at the world around them. Knowing he would...would never hear the gentle part of Sheik that talked to him, helped him when Link's anxiety was at its worst. The breathing exercises, the offers to bring doom down upon anyone who made fun of him...

Dimly, he realised he was standing up and walking over to the railing of the platform, looking down at the rocky ground below. It was a long way down. Not a guarantee, but if he tried landing on his...

His train of thought was derailed by footsteps behind him. Fuck. Too late. His ears twitched, and he listened a little closer to the steps. There was something...off about them. The gait was uncertain, but he couldn't imagine any of his current companions being so...unsure.

"Um..."

Link whirled around so quickly he nearly lost his balance, his breath catching in his throat at the sight of Sheik's impostor standing a few paces away. It was frowning, fists clenched at its sides, its one red eye not looking directly at Link, but at somewhere over his shoulder.

His instincts told him to dive for the Master Sword, to fight and kill this thing, but his body wouldn't listen. A stone had formed in the pit of his stomach, and it was keeping him immobile. He couldn't breathe. He felt his heartbeat in his ears, the roaring sound of rushing blood filling them.

Where were the others? Had it killed them too? He'd heard Riju tell him the thing had woken up, recalled brushing her off and saying he didn't want to see it. It must have escaped its bonds and overpowered them all.

They were dead.

More blood on his hands.

Hylia, why? Why?!

Was this his divine punishment for his inadequacy? For his failure? One last stab to his heart before this monster finished the job.

Fine.

That was fine.

He'd welcome it, at this point. It was a surer thing than throwing himself off the balcony, certainly. The impostor had nearly succeeded once already; why not give it a second try?

The Sword would find another wielder. A proper one, this time.

He glared at the impostor, hating how it made itself look uncertain, probably to lull him into a false sense of security before it made its move. That wouldn't be necessary.

"Link..."

The Hero shuddered. It sounded like Sheik, just...fuller. Deeper. Not filtered through a speaker that wasn't able to do that wonderful voice justice. How he wished he could hear Sheik speak with it, instead of this monster...

"Just d-do it," Link said, tired of the charades. He opened his arms, giving the creature the free shot it would need. "G-Get it over w-with."

The impostor's red eye widened, and the glowing one opened as well. Good, it intended to blast him to pieces. At least it wouldn't hurt, that way.

"What...what are you talking about?" the impostor asked, and the confusion sounded so real, so...lost. Link wanted to laugh, but he was pretty sure he'd start crying if he did. He didn't want to give it the satisfaction of his tears—the stutter was bad enough.

"Just kill m-me, like y-you d-did everyone else," he said. "Finish m-me off. I w-won't stop y-you."

The impostor shook its head. "No, no, Link! You don't understand! It's me!" It took a step closer, stopping when Link made no other move.

"I kn-know it's y-you," Link spat. "J-Just do it!"

"Link, it's me, Sheik!" the thing said, pointing to itself. "You remember me, right? Angry asshole in the slate? Too much personality? I give everyone nicknames?"

Link barked out a laugh, which quickly turned into a sob. It was too much, now it was even imitating his personality. Like stealing his face wasn't enough.

"Link, listen to me," the thing said, stepping closer. It stopped about two paces away. It was unarmed. Or, no, not unarmed. It didn't carry any blades, but it didn't need them, not with that eye, which was scanning him up and down, swirling faster than before. "I'm not dead. I didn't die. I wasn't even in the slate when it was destroyed!"

"S-Stop," Link begged. "I d-don't want t-to hear it!"

Why couldn't it just kill him and be done with it? Why did it have to torment him?

"You have to," the creature urged him. "I'm Sheik—I transferred myself to this body without the creature knowing it. It had no idea I was there, and I fought it from within—"

"S-Stop!"

"I destroyed it, Link! I destroyed Ganon inside the body, and I took over!" It took another step closer, hands rising towards his neck.

Choking, then. Not the best way to go, but maybe it would break his neck, or just rip his head from his shoulders, or...or...

Its hands landed on his shoulders, gently gripping them. Its eyes stared directly into Link's.

"It's me, Link," it repeated, and it almost looked sincere. Like it actually believed it was Sheik. "I swear...it's Sheik."

Well, if it was going to fuck with his mind...well, maybe Link could fuck with it?

"P-Prove it," he said, wishing he could find the strength to shrug its hands off him.

"Wh-What?" it asked.

"P-Prove you're Sh-Sheik," he repeated.

The impostor fell silent for a moment, its eyes searching Link's for...something.

"How...?" it asked.

This time Link did laugh, only it wasn't out of amusement. Despair squeezed around his heart, and he felt like he was about to lose himself to madness, his laughter growing hysterical as he was held in place by a creature that seemed intent on psychologically torturing him before killing him. Like hell he was going to help it do that!

"Y-You figure it o-out!" he growled, taking a little pleasure in the stricken look that came to its face. Sheik's face. He'd claw it off its head if he could find the strength. It didn't deserve it. "Sh-Sheik w-would know!"

"Get a hold of yourself!" the impostor growled. "Listen to what you're saying! Link, I'm not dead—don't lose yourself to this!"

"Y-You c-can say it all y-you like, it w-won't c-come true!"

"For fuck's sake, Link, snap out of it!"

Link shouted and shoved the thing away. It let go of his shoulders and stumbled backwards awkwardly, losing its balance and landing on its back. Body free from its paralysis, Link dove for the Master Sword, unsheathing it and bounding over to the creature. It was still lying on the floor, arms and legs trying to find purchase on the floor, but failing to do so, like a new-born deer struggling to find its legs.

"G-Get up!" Link roared, pointing the blade at it. Fury exploded in his chest like a roaring fireball, and where before he'd just wanted the fucking creature to end him, now he wanted to end it for this fucking...fucking masquerade it had tried to pull. The only thing holding him back right now was its pleading expression, which spoke to that small, stubborn part of him that clung to the code of chivalry.

"Link—"

"I s-said g-get up!"

"Link!" it shouted, staring up at him with...fear? Desperation? "Please! It's me! Tell me how I can prove it! I'll do anything, just tell me!"

He wanted to believe it. Link so desperately wanted to believe it was his Sheik in there, that the story was true, but...it was too good to be true. It was too...story-like. Good things like that didn't happen to people like him.

But here was a moment to break the monster's deception, to prove that it wasn't the real Sheik. Maybe that'd break through whatever...program it was running to fuck with Link's head.

"Fine!" he growled. "T-Tell me s-something only y-you would kn-know! S-Something only Sh-Sheik would kn-know!"

As he spoke, he brought the tip of the Master Sword closer to the impostor's throat, taking a little pleasure in how it tried to lean away only to lose what fragile balance it had and dropping back on the floor. The others must have given it a hell of a fight to fuck it up so badly.

"Like what?" it asked.

"Y-You tell m-me!"

It licked its lips nervously, eyes dashing to and from as it thought. "I...uh...um...you have anxiety!"

Link laugh-sobbed again. "Everyone kn-knows th-that!" He brought the blade even closer to its throat.

Why wasn't it fighting back? Even if it wasn't able to stand up so well at the moment, it could still blast him away with its eye, so why wasn't it doing that?

"You hate being a Champion!"

That was true...but also not something only Sheik would know. Link hadn't exactly been hiding his reluctance towards the job, to anyone. The Sword's tip was touching its neck now, which bobbed up and down as it swallowed nervously. Whatever this thing was, it was really lifelike.

"N-Not g-good enough," he growled. "L-Last chance!"

The Master Sword was thrumming in his hand, but it wasn't glowing as it usually did when faced with Ganon's spawn. It felt almost...unhappy. Link felt an urge to fling it away. What a fucking time for it to develop sympathy for the enemy!

"Uh...I..." the eyes turned pleading again. "Link, please..."

"L-Last. Chance."

It gritted its teeth, and a deep, rumbling growl came from its throat before it said, "Fine! When you have an orgasm, your toes curl up so hard the joints crack!"

In the span of a moment, the roar in Link's ears fell silent, the haze around his eyes disappeared, and the Master Sword stopped thrumming. Link stared down at the creature, who defiantly held his gaze, teeth bared in a snarl.

"There are a lot of things people know about you," it said. "You're like an open book, Link. But only three people know that. Remember Sidon's face when it happened the first time? How he freaked out? How he thought he'd—"

"B-broken me," Link finished, his grip on the Master Sword loosening until he heard it clattering against the floor. It would harangue him for it later, but...but he had more important things to worry about now.

"Yeah," the thing—Sheik?—agreed, nodding up at him. "He spent the next twenty minutes making sure he hadn't hurt you, and you assured him you were fine. Then it happened again, and he went right back to panicking." It gave him a small grin. "I told him he should be flattered that your skeleton was applauding his performance."

Link choked on what was either a hysterical guffaw or a hysterical sob as he fell to his knees, staring at Sheik.

Sheik.

"It's...it's y-you," he said, his vision blurring as anger, sorrow, relief, and happiness all decided to pump into his eyes all at the same time. "Sh-Sheik..." he reached out a shaky hand.

"Link," his lover replied, taking his hand and pulling him closer, until their faces were inches apart. "It's me...I promise. It's a long story, but...it's me." He leaned forward, touching his forehead to Link's.

It was warm.

Link gave in to hope and wrapped his arms around the Sheikah—his Sheikah—and held on for dear life, letting everything go.

Teba leaned back behind the cover of the wall, giving his fellow spectators a quick once-over.

Ayla was grinning wickedly, presumably already figuring out all the ways she was going to embarrass Link with this little piece of information later. There was no mistaking the relieved drooping in her shoulders, though, which Teba knew he was mirroring as well, his heart finally starting to beat normally again.

Riju was alternating between looking relieved and delighted at the positive outcome of the meeting, and blushing wildly at what she'd just learned about the Hero of Hyrule.

Buliara, bless her, just looked embarrassed, probably wishing she was anywhere but here.

"So, bird dad," Ayla said, still grinning. "What do you think?"

He shrugged. "I am relieved they were able to come to an understanding," he said.

Ayla looked disappointed. "Seriously? That's it?"

He shifted uncomfortably. "Well, I could probably have done without learning of Link's...er...habits."

"Oh well, at least you didn't walk in on them doing it," Ayla said, slapping his shoulders.

"Hm, true," Teba said, nodding, keeping his expression placid.

He most definitely ignored the small, niggling thought poking at the back of his mind that was trying to tell him in no uncertain terms that, with this new development, walking in on his chicks doing...something was now, theoretically, a very real danger.

When they visit, he told himself, they are definitely sleeping in separate rooms.