The hard part about switching medications is coming off whatever you're currently taking and that is never easy. No matter how much you think you're prepared.
Hinata reminds him of this-doing her best to explain how the transition will work. She can see him mentally tuning her out most of the time, but she knows that it's not his intention. It's just boring...and Naruto doesn't handle boring well. But, still, she tries, because it's important.
He is important.
Eventually she realizes that if she wants him to take the proper dosage, she will have to hand it to him herself. It's not the first time, and she would rather make sure than risk it, so every morning before work she makes sure to give him his pills.
Some days are easier than others.
Most days she gets the impression he doesn't care one way or the other-but he will do what she wants because it makes her less tense. She has always mattered to him-she knows that-and it helps. Especially on mornings like this one.
She has two meetings first thing, so she needs to leave, but Naruto is lethargic on the couch-one leg dangling over the arm as he's sprawled out, his tee shirt riding up his torso. She's relatively certain it's the same shirt he had on yesterday.
"I've got to go," she tells him as she swipes her keys from the coffee table. She bends towards him, brushing her lips against his. "I'll see you later, okay." She traces the line of his jaw with her fingertips as she eases back.
Naruto blinks up at her and gives her a vague nod.
Hinata sighs, making her way to the door, being sure to grab her coffee. She'd barely slept last night...or the night before...or the one before that. Not that she would mention it. He didn't need that guilt from her.
"You should get dressed today. Take a shower." She says, at the door, trying to make it sound more like a suggestion than a demand.
"Sure." He shrugs her off. She knows he says it only to make her feel better. About leaving. About him. She wants to stay-wants to offer to cook him some real food and maybe go on a walk-but she's already missed her allotted personal days for the month and today's meeting is one that she really can't afford to miss.
Reluctantly she leaves.
Her day is busy-but she likes busy-and her meetings go well. She's praised for her hard work and under normal circumstances she'd be flattered but today she is distracted and despite being busy she still catches herself with her cell phone in hand, debating on calling to check on Naruto.
She puts it down.
No.
He can handle himself.
He can do this.
She has to believe in him.
She has to.
Because she's not sure she can handle another episode like last time.
She loves him.
Loves him.
Loves him.
She does.
He's made so much progress over the years. He works part-time and enjoys it. He doesn't drink or do drugs anymore. He hasn't self-harmed in a while. She knows in her heart that he can achieve anything he sets his mind to. And sometimes that's what scares her the most.
Naruto is an unstoppable force when he's determined.
She just wants him to be determined to get well as opposed to self-destruct.
She shakes her head. She's just worried.
She picks up the phone.
Puts it down again.
He can do this. He can. She tells this to herself like a mantra. Even still, she can't help but let out a slow breath. Please. She silently begs whatever deity watches over lost souls. Please.