short one this time~
At so many points in his life and continuing into his after life, he wondered if he would ever stop being punished. Not that he didn't deserve it. How could someone like him ever be truly forgiven, anyways? He had taken so many lives in his time. Alive and dead. His hands were bathed in so much blood that it would never wash away. Not in any of his lifetimes combined. His sins were high and plenty. As were his regrets. Some days he could even believe it when he told himself that this was always his destined path. After all, how could so many lives all end up along the same path? For so long, in so many lifetimes he had thought he had been trying to make the world a better place.
Wasn't that the reason he traded in his afterlife for?
The power to save innocents.
To make the world a better place.
The one for the many.
He could bear the burden.
Or so he had thought.
So very foolishly.
And so when he sat on his hill, surrounded by swords. Still bound by a life he had left behind. Some wounds just didn't heal. His memories fading in and out. It wasn't like he could just break his deal. Full of regret and an empty heart. What alternative did he even have?
"She what?" EMIYA whispered, snapping his attention back to the heroine that sat in front of him.
Atalanta shifted uneasily, casting her normally bright green eyes down. She hadn't wanted to talk to him, he could see plain as day. As Atlanta twisted her hands unhappily in her lap, EMIYA was struck with the thought that Atalanta really did care for Rin; maybe even loved her. She was loyal to Rin even in the short time with her. That he could relate too. He had been loyal to his Rin. And he was loyal to this version of Rin, even if he couldn't get near her. It didn't mean that he gave up trying. After all, how many lifetimes had he lived as her servant? How many lifetimes were they friends? How many times did her blue eyes save his sanity? And how many lives did he end up still turning away?
Some days he could live with his decisions of his life and after life. Even if the path was bloody and full of regret. He tried. He really did. The days in Chaldea had given him no small measure of semi- peace. The slow pace and company did wonders for his sanity. And some days he could almost believe he could he could rest here. If not just for a little bit.
But today….
"...Rin said dreamed she was made of swords" Atalanta raised her green eyes to meet his grey ones. ".. and she was hanged for treason."
…..wasn't one of those days.
*waves bye*