The Legend of Zelda, its characters and locations are all property of Nintendo. Any and all OCs and original locations belong to me unless specifically stated to belong to someone else.
The Voice
Chapter 70 – The Worst Mode of Travel
By Link's estimation, it was late in the afternoon by the time they arrived at the Domain.
Well, arrived was the word he preferred to use in opposition to Sheik's insistence that the process be given its proper dues and description.
Call him crazy, but Link just didn't think that being broken into billions and billions of tiny particles, blasted across a vast distance in a matter of seconds, and then hastily reassembled at the end destination (all the while praying to whatever deity you held dear that none of your particles were lost along the way) was in any way a comforting description of their mode of travel.
Oh, Sheik kept assuring him that the chances of any of those particles being lost were smaller than getting struck by lightning ten times in succession...but that was far less comforting than the Sheikah probably thought.
Mostly because Link had a feeling that if anyone in the world would be unlucky enough to get struck by lightning ten times in a row, it'd be him. Honestly, by making such a statement, Sheik pretty much guaranteed it would happen at some point or another, which was why Link made a mental note to never go out in a lightning storm again.
At least not without having someone taller around to act as a lightning rod.
Preferably Sheik, with his subtle half-inch of superior height. He'd probably find it to be a great way of powering his body; faster than absorbing the charge from batteries scavenged from wrecked Guardians.
"We're here," Sheik said quietly, and Link forced his eyes open, having closed them as he was being disassembled near the Shrine.
At least this time his arrival at the Domain didn't end in complete embarrassment, like last time. He'd been prepared, immediately bracing himself and crouching down, letting one hand touch the wet surface of the arrival pad, letting his brain work itself through the supreme discomfort and vertigo induced by the teleportation process. He was grateful for Sheik being able to remove the nausea from the equation, but the dizziness was definitely something to work on in the future.
Next to him, he felt Sheik's body wavering a little before mirroring his pose. He felt a little bad, honestly. Sheik had trouble with his balance in the first place, forced to re-learn the intricacies of possessing a physical body in a matter of weeks, which wasn't nearly enough. The Gerudo had helped as best they could, but some things just had to be acclimatised to. Add the vertigo to an already unstable body, and Link was fully prepared for a disaster upon their arrival.
Luckily, Sheik managed to remain crouching at Link's side, his gaze focused on something ahead of them, determined not to get drawn in by the world shifting and spinning around like a rough sea.
"Link," Sheik said after a moment of adjusting his weight, "This sucks. Teleporting sucks. It is the worst mode of travel."
Well, that was a bit hyperbolic, in Link's opinion, but he hummed and nodded along anyway. The dizziness had subsided sufficiently by now for him to rise to his full height and survey the area around him. It was surprisingly empty, compared to last time. The sleeping pools were empty, and the walkways around them weren't packed to the gills with people going about their business.
In fact, it seemed like the area around the shrine and its travel pad had been cordoned off entirely, judging by the wooden fence that had been hastily erected around the entrance area to the shrine.
"M-Must have d-decided to m-move the t-traffic," he muttered to himself, automatically reaching out to steady Sheik with a hand on his arm when the Sheikah began to rise as well. Sheik didn't shake him off, so he was probably worse off than he liked to pretend.
"Just as well," Sheik said. "Having a highly trafficked area around the travel pad is just begging for trouble. Accidental combination is the last thing we want. I don't have any scripts prepared to undo that."
Oh good, another thing for Link to worry about.
"Eugh," Sheik groaned, leaning a little against Link, forcing the Hero to brace himself against the Sheikah's weight. "I think I'll look over the travel scripts again, see if I can improve the recombination for the cerebellum a little to reduce the dizziness, because this is the fucking worst—and mine isn't even organic!"
"I'd appreciate th-that," Link said, letting Sheik take his time to recover. He focused his attention on the entrance to the shrine area. "H-Hello?!" he called out. "Is a-anyone th-there?!"
The confused head of a Zora appeared from around the corner, her eyes widening upon spotting the pair of them. She gasped...and disappeared. Her voice, muffled by distance, was then heard shouting in panic, as if Ganon itself had suddenly appeared in the Domain.
"Rude," Sheik said, taking his weight off Link's side, finally able to stand up on his own. "They really need to work on their greeting."
That, seemingly, was the cue for the Domain to explode into action as no less than ten Zora, all dressed in full armour, marched inside, led by Bazz. It might have been Link's imagination, but his old friend seemed to have grown a little older in their brief absence, carrying himself with just a little more weight on his shoulders. The sight was further marred by the frown on Bazz' face, nothing like the smile he'd worn last time, after helping Link deal with his panic attack. There was a tightness his eyes that seemed to loosen somewhat upon spotting Link, but it quickly reappeared when he realised he hadn't come alone.
"There you are," the captain said, pausing a few steps away, casting a suspicious glance at Sheik, whose face was once more hidden by a Sheikah mask, and his artificial eye by his eyepatch. "And...you're not alone."
"A-Ah," Link said, hesitated. "Th-This is—"
"A friend," Sheik replied smoothly, his voice suddenly deeper than usual. Link shot him a confused look, but Sheik wasn't even looking back, his eye firmly on Bazz. "Forgive my intrusion, captain." He even bowed his head slightly.
What the fuck was he doing?!
"And does your friend have a name?" Bazz asked, looking pointedly at Link.
"Kiro," Sheik supplied helpfully before Link could even start thinking of a name. "Pleased to meet you."
"Hmph, likewise," Bazz replied, inclining his head in greeting. "Captain Bazz, of the Zora Royal Guard." He returned his attention to Link. "You vouch for this one?"
"I d-do," Link said quickly, unsure of what game Sheik was playing...and why Bazz was acting so suspicious. He hadn't seemed to have a problem with Sheikah before, apart from the initial suspicion that any soldier would have when their realm was flooded with outside forces...and that had thawed rather quickly. "Is s-something the m-matter?" he asked.
"I would just appreciate a little warning before you bring outsiders into the heart of the Domain next time," Bazz said, shaking his head and still regarding Sheik with some apprehension. The fact that this newcomer had two thirds of his face covered up probably did nothing to convince him of his harmlessness. "We're on a tight lockdown right now."
"Lockdown?" Sheik asked. "What for?"
"It is a matter of security," Bazz answered, giving Sheik the least helpful, non-answer Link had ever heard from the captain. He really was worried, then. But about what? "Link, I would appreciate it if you came with me immediately."
"Okay," Link said hesitantly. "B-But what about—"
"I'll be fine, Link, go on," Sheik said, sounding so unlike himself it was almost eerie. It was like they were back in Akkala, when Sheik had lost himself to despair and convinced himself he was better off as a mindless slave. "Is Mistress Paya here, captain?" he asked. "I would like to speak with her, and I'm sure you'll be more comfortable with someone like her watching me."
"I will call for her," Bazz said, his shoulders lowering a little. "Thank you for understanding."
As they followed the guards, with Bazz leading the way, Link bumped his elbow into Sheik's side, hissing.
"Wh-What w-was that?!"
"His vitals were through the roof," Sheik whispered back. "He's worried about something, and I bet it's got something to do with Sharky. Better put him at ease rather than launch into the whole rigmarole that happened in the desert, don't you agree?"
Link's eyes widened. Was that true? Had something happened to Sidon?
"I'll stay out here, where they can keep an eye on me and feel secure, and you figure out what's going on with Sharky. Call me when things have settled."
Link gave him a suspicious look. "C-Can you b-behave?"
The sheer amount of outrage reflected in Sheik's eye was so painfully fake it was practically criminal, especially when coupled with the hand cupping his chest, right above his heart.
"You wound me, sir," he said dramatically. "When have I ever not behaved?"
"Apart f-from continuously s-since I m-met you?" Link shot back.
"The sass is growing strong within you, Link," Sheik said, sniffing. "I am so proud."
"You can wait for Mistress Paya here, Master Kiro," Bazz said, having led them to the square with Mipha's statue. Here, the activity was still bustling, but there was a distinct increase in the number of Zora guards patrolling in full armour, as if they were expecting the enemy to drop in at any time. It only served to fuel Link's worry further, despite Sheik's attempt to distract him on the way. "I will leave two of my guards with you until she arrives."
"Of course," Sheik-the-fake-Kiro said, nodding amicably. As if Sheik had ever done anything amicably in his entire existence, before or after being transferred to the slate. "One cannot be too careful."
"I thank you again for your understanding," Bazz said, nodding to Link. "Let's go."
"I w-will see y-you later, K-Kiro," Link said, pointedly emphasising the stolen name.
"It was the first thing that came to mind, give me a fucking break," Sheik whispered so quietly that only Link could hear him. "Now go check on Sharky."
The guards fell in line behind Link and Bazz as the captain immediately began leading Link towards the royal chambers, further confirming Sheik's theory. A glance back told Link that Sheik had settled for leaning comfortably against a railing overlooking the lake below the Domain, waiting for Paya, firmly ignoring the guards.
"Sorry about that," Bazz said quietly as they weaved among the foot traffic and seemingly endless amount of people swarming the Domain. Some called out greetings to Link, which he returned half-heartedly, his heart beating faster and faster as his mind came up with increasingly horrible scenarios during which Sidon got himself hurt...or even killed!
No, no, that made no sense. The Domain would surely be in lockdown if that were the case, but also in deep mourning. Apart from the increased security, there was no sign of that, so, logically, that meant Sidon had to be okay.
Right?
Of course not, his mind told him. He's dead, and it's probably all my fault. Something happened, and I wasn't here to protect him! I can't protect anyone! Not Zelda, not Mipha, Daruk, Urbosa, Revali...none of them!
"You wait here," Bazz told the guards sharply at the top of the stairs, grabbing Link's arm and dragging him inside the building that housed the royal apartments. Out of view, he led Link to a corner, putting his hands on the Hylian's shoulders. "Easy," he said quietly. "I've got you. Don't worry, everything's fine."
Link breathed. It was his only focus right now, along with Bazz's deep voice. Everything was all right, he just had to get his breathing under control. His chest felt like it was constricting itself, preventing his lungs from inflating all the way, but the firm repetition of the movement, and the bass-y tone of Bazz kept him calm...and soon enough the constriction ceased. His vision cleared, and the brigade leader was looking at him with no small amount of relief.
"You're getting better at that," Bazz said, smiling.
"B-Been practicing," Link said, returning it with a grin.
"I'm sorry, this was my fault," Bazz said, smile turning into a frown. "I didn't mean to make you panic, but security mandates that I reveal as little information as possible, especially in public and in front of strangers—"
"Th-That wasn't a s-stranger, th-though," Link said. "It w-was Sh-Sheik."
Bazz looked at him as if he'd grown two heads. "I beg your pardon?"
Link briefly considered telling Bazz everything, but he knew that would take way too much time, even if weren't for his stutter, so he shook his head instead. "L-Long story," he said. "B-But he's harmless. R-Really."
Bazz looked doubtful for a moment but seemed to accept his dubious explanation for what it was. "I see...well, harmless isn't really a word that applies to him though, is it? I have never met someone who's able to bypass the 'sticks and stones' adage with such skill."
Was it bad that Link was almost proud of that fact?
"T-True," he agreed, pausing. "Y-You accepted th-that q-quickly," he said.
Bazz rolled his eyes. "I've decided that when it comes to my most troublesome brigade member, I should just stop being surprised and go along with whatever happens. I'm sure I'll hear the full story later and it will make...some kind of sense. If not, at least I'll be entertained by the trouble you seem to get yourself into at every turn."
Link pouted a little at that. "I d-don't d-do it on p-purpose," he protested.
"Sure, sure," the Zora said, nodding sagely, clearly not believing him. "Just like the time you and Princess Mipha accidentally put soap into the fountain and flooded the square with bubbles that took days to clean up."
"W-We did th-that?" Link asked, really wishing he remembered that. It sounded hilarious.
"Muzu was not amused," Bazz said. "The King, on the other hand..."
Link chuckled. King Dorephan was nothing if not indulgent with his children and ward. He truly lamented not remembering more from his childhood in the Domain. It would have made him feel a little more...secure. A little more anchored to the world.
"All jokes aside," Bazz continued, "I am truly sorry for worrying you, but you should know...there was an incident."
The calm that had washed over him was quickly gone, replaced by a high-pressure geyser of worry in his stomach. "Wh-What?"
"We lost a camp in the hills to Yiga infiltrators," Bazz said, taking Link's wrist and pulling him along the corridor, leading him along the familiar path to Sidon's chambers. "I was to lead a combined task force to flush them out of hiding and eliminate them. Sidon...insisted on coming along, claiming the safety of the realm was as much his responsibility as mine...and that he wanted to steal my glory."
Despite his worry, Link couldn't help but grin at that. That sounded like one of Sidon's jokes, all right.
"We tracked the intruders to Ploymus Mountain, and we began scaling it." Bazz grimaced. "It was a mistake from the very start. The trap should have been obvious, and then I stupidly decided to split our forces up. I took one group heading down an unmapped fork in the river, and Sidon took the rest and headed further up. The Yiga were waiting for them."
Now it was Link's turn to take the lead as his footsteps quickly began outpacing Bazz's, quickly bursting into a light jog.
"He's all right, Link, I promise!" the captain called after him. "The Yiga weren't counting on someone else being up there!"
Sidon's door came into view, guarded by two Zora soldiers in full armour—not the ceremonial sort that was meant to look pretty, but the one meant for war and intimidation. Their spears were already crossed, barring entry, by the time Link rounded the corner, ready to push him back if need be.
"Let him in!" Bazz called out. "The Prince has commanded it!"
The guards reluctantly stood aside, and Link had to brace himself before shoving his way through the doors, preparing himself for the worst.
"Link?"
The Prince was lying in his bed, stretched out fully, his lower half covered by blankets. Various parts of his upper body had been bandaged, though the wounds must not have been deep since there was no sign of red bleeding through. The skin of his face was bruised, and there were a few healing scrapes and cuts along his head fin. Otherwise, he was whole.
Whole and alive.
Before he knew what he was doing, Link had shed his pack, undone his sword belt and leapt onto the bed with a running start. He landed near Sidon's legs, careful not to accidentally crush the prince, and carefully shimmied his way up until he was kneeling next to Sidon, where the Zora was propped up against the headboard.
"A-Are you a-all r-right?!" Link exclaimed, eyes carefully searching for any signs of pain on Sidon's face.
He didn't seem to be in agony, but Link would've been blind not to spot the signs of fatigue and exhaustion. His eyes were a little dull, not nearly as bright and enthusiastic as he usually was, and there was a tired droop to his fins, his scales not quite as shiny as he remembered. There were slight bags under his eyes, the delicate skin a tinted a little purple. Not that it stopped Link from panicking, of course.
"D-Does it hurt? A-Are y-y-you in p-pain? Wh-Wh-What h-h-happened?!"
His hands hovered above Sidon's wounds, like he wanted to touch them and...do what? Make things even worse? Fuck, he was so useless!
"Link," Sidon's voice, calm and gentle, spoke as big, strong hands took his own, squeezing carefully. "I'm quite all right. Just very tired." The prince let go of his hand and grabbed his chin, gently forcing Link to look at him. "I'm fine, I promise. Are you all right?"
With all that had happened, all Link wanted was to weep. There was just too much. Getting stabbed by...well, Stabby, watching the slate get destroyed and believing Sheik to be dead, and now the possibility of Sidon having gotten hurt while he was gone? Frankly, it was a wonder he wasn't a crying mess already.
Instead, to his surprise, he found himself nodding. "I'm...f-fine," he said, not really sure if he was being truthful or lying. Maybe a bit of both? It was worth it for the smile that came to Sidon's lips at his words, however, as well as the way the prince leaned forward and put his lips to Link's.
"I've missed you," Sidon said after they separated, the pad of his thumb rubbing Link's cheek in careful, soothing circles. He looked at Link's waist. "And you too, Sheik...wait, where is he?"
"Ch-Checking in w-with P-Purah and Robbie," Link lied, not sure if he had the energy right now to tell the whole story. He'd been tired enough from the Stabby revelation that this last panic about Sidon had completely tired him out. "Wh-What happened?" he asked, wanting to know exactly how Sidon had gotten these wounds...and who he had to punish for it.
Sidon blinked at the dismissal of Sheik's lack of presence. "You're not fighting again, are you?" he asked.
"N-No!" Link exclaimed. "S-Something happened, in th-the desert, and h-he n-needed t-to t-talk t-to them."
"Is he okay?" Sidon asked, the exhaustion marring even his concerned expression.
"H-He is," Link said, nodding firmly.
Sheik was probably more okay than he had been in a long time, in Link's opinion. There'd been no more talk of shutting down, not after getting his body. Link took that as a good sign...but it also reminded him that he really needed to talk to Sheik about it sooner or later. If nothing else, then to get a confirmation that Sheik truly no longer wanted to die.
"I think there's something you're not telling me, here," Sidon said, his lips drooping into a pout. "What have I done to deserve being kept out of the loop like this?" he asked. He tried to look offended, but his insistent rubbing of Link's cheek really undermined the attempt.
"T-Trade?" Link suggested. "Y-You go f-first."
"I thought Bazz filled you in, though?" Sidon said. "I distinctly remember asking him to."
"J-Just th-that you w-walked into a t-trap," Link said, leaning down until his and Sidon's faces were inches apart. "T-Tell me."
Sidon saw no point in arguing, apparently, and he began to tell Link of the nearly-disastrous mission on the mountain. The Hero pinched the bridge of his nose to ward off the headache as Sidon explained the completely obvious trap that even he would have seen coming. Arch-enemies they may have been, but the Yiga had under Kohga's leadership had nothing on the Sheikah's tactics.
"Y-You w-were overconfident," he muttered under his breath.
"I was," Sidon agreed. "Bazz too. And because of that, lives were lost. We were at a woeful tactical disadvantage, and I fear the Yiga would have killed us all if it hadn't been for...well, an old friend of yours."
Link blinked. Old friend? What was Sidon talking about? Link didn't have any old friends on Ploymus, unless you counted that horrible...oh...
Sidon nodded. "The Lynel decided it didn't like the Yiga invading its territory and ambushed them during their ambush of us. They didn't stand a chance. It was over in seconds...and then it turned its attention on us."
Link gasped. "It a-attacked y-you?"
"It did," Sidon confirmed with a nod. His hands had slid down to settle on Link's hips by now, gripping with a firmness that was reassuring for the both of them. He told Link of the terrifying chase down the mountainside, the near-death experience he'd suffered at the hands of the monster, and Bazz's...
"He was gone," Sidon said, his forehead resting where Link's shoulder met his neck, his voice causing Link's entire body to vibrate. "The thing had killed my best friend, and all I could do was watch him fade away..."
Link kept silent throughout, not really understanding the story. Bazz was all right, wasn't he? He'd certainly seemed that way, out in the corridor, but Sidon's story had the brigade leader get run through with his own spear...that wasn't really something one recovered from in a matter of days.
"But then," Sidon said, pulling back to look Link in the eyes with tears budding in the corners of his own, "I saw her."
"Her?" Link asked, wanting nothing more than to brush those tears away.
"Mipha," Sidon whispered. "I felt her, first. Heard her. But when I was sitting with Bazz, after he had...had...she was there. In front of me. Telling me not to give up, that there was still time. She took my hands, like this." He put his hands on top of Link's, as if guiding them. "And showed me. Showed me how to save him. To heal him. To bring him back. And it worked." He exhaled, his entire body slumping a little more.
Link let him rest the weight of his head on his shoulder, happy to bear the prince's burden, as small a part as it was. All he could think was how grateful he was to Mipha.
But why now?
A question best left for later, he decided, placing a gentle kiss on Sidon's brow.
"Y-You saved h-him," he said quietly, to which Sidon nodded.
"He doesn't know," Sidon confessed. "He doesn't remember what happened after he was...after it...the spear," he hesitated. "I told him he'd saved me, but that the Lynel had tried to throw us off the mountain, accidentally falling with us. He was confused about the scar on his front and back, but by the time he noticed it he was more busy yelling at me for being stupid and nearly getting myself killed."
"I a-agree w-with him," Link said, tapping the prince's nose playfully. "B-But...Mipha?"
"Yes!" Sidon exclaimed, sitting up and grinning down at Link with a smile as bright as a thousand suns. "She was there!"
Thank you, Mipha, Link thought. He'd felt so guilty for being the only one who got to see her again when Sidon missed her so dearly. He wasn't sure how she'd done it, but he would be eternally grateful to her for it.
Another debt he owed her, it seemed. Two, really, counting Bazz.
"I haven't seen her after, though," the prince continued, smile fading a little. "I think, perhaps, doing what she did took a lot out of her. It certainly took what little energy I had left."
No wonder, Link thought. First, she saved me, then you. I hope she's all right...
He'd have to ask Sheik to teleport them back to Vah Ruta soon, to check in on her. To check in on all the Champions, really. It wasn't fair for them to languish all alone, trapped as they were. A century of isolation was too much for anyone to bear.
"T-Tired y-you out, h-huh?" Link asked, trying to force himself onto a cheerier train of thought. Sheik was right, he really needed to learn to compartmentalise better, if only to be able to enjoy the here and now, such as the relief of knowing Sidon was safe.
"Mhm," Sidon hummed, lifting a hand to run his fingers through Link's hair, which the prince had undone from its braid. He had a fondness for the feel of Hylian hair, it seemed. "It's why I've been confined to bed for the past few days. The doctors assure me it is simply extreme fatigue...which Bazz has taken as a sign that I need to start training even harder, if a simple tumble down a mountainside was enough to exhaust me like this."
Link couldn't help but chuckle at that. "M-Maybe you sh-should t-tell him?"
"I'd rather not," Sidon said, his head fin twitching slightly. Link ran a hand along it soothingly. "I don't know how he'll react. I'd rather keep up the pretence and work a little harder in the training yard when I am allowed out of bed. There was too much death that day as it was..."
When was he going to learn to stop opening his big mouth? The stutter was clearly there to deter him from saying stupid things and triggering conversational disasters like this.
"So," the prince said, the smile returning to his face, "that was my story. Now tell me yours." His eyes suddenly widened. "Wait! Master Teba! Did he—did he make it in time?!"
Well, shit, there went Link's plan of letting certain parts out of his story until he could reintroduce Sheik in a timely and, above all, non-upsetting manner. He'd forgotten that Teba had tried coming to the Domain first to warn them about Stabby, and of course Sidon had learned of this.
"K-Kind of?" Link said hopefully, praying to Hylia that his sheepish face didn't trigger anything protective in the prince. Sidon's expression was not amused.
"Explain," the prince demanded, drawing Link a little closer, as if trying to protect him from unseen threats in the room. His voice gave no quarter. "What. Happened?"
"L-Long story," Link tried.
"I've been bedridden for days, Link, and will be for at least one more. Believe me, I have time."
Well, shit, might as well take that swan dive into the absurdness of the tale, he thought and began to talk.
As Bazz led Link up the stairs and into the royal chambers, Sheik relaxed against the railing and began to analyse the visible security measures the Domain had taken in their absence, all the while keeping an eye on Link's vitals, which were erratic now that they knew Sharky had gotten up to something while they were gone. He wasn't worried—there were no signs of mourning, so clearly the prince wasn't dead, so he'd let Link handle it until further notice.
It was a good thing no one noticed the grimace on his face, hidden by the mask. Like the only thing he wanted to do right now wasn't to charge into the royal chambers and check on Sharky's condition himself.
Because it wasn't.
At all.
No, he'd just quietly make plans to burn everything if Sharky was anything but a hundred percent—
"Th-The captain a-asked me t-to come?"
Thankfully, distraction came in the form of a certain Sheikah, who approached him from the side, holding up a hand in greeting.
"G-Good afternoon," Paya said. "I am P-Paya, M-Mistress Impa's r-representative in th-the Domain. I w-was informed of y-your arrival, b-but I'm sorry t-to say I did n-not recognise y-your name." She was looking him up and down, taking in his Gerudo-made Sheikah uniform, and his hidden face. Her own was covered by a mask as well, but Sheik could see the tightness of her expression even without it.
She was suspicious, and the hand she hadn't raised in greeting was hidden behind her back, surely wrapped around the handle of a tanto or a similar small blade, ready to attack in case Kiro proved to be an enemy, like a Yiga.
Which was, in some way, true.
"That makes sense," he replied smoothly, wondering how far he could drag this out before something interesting happened. He'd been nursing some curiosity concerning Paya's patience, and how far it could be stretched before snapping, not to mention what she'd do once that happened.
He really ought to take some time to get to know his cousin better. An afternoon spent annoying her wasn't nearly enough.
"After all," he continued, "my name isn't really Kiro."
Paya went still, her posture growing tense. "Wh-What is i-it, th-then?" she asked, her stutter increasing in severity along with her stress.
Just like Link's, interestingly enough. In a different world, they would have made a fascinating couple, in Sheik's opinion. Entertaining, too, for anyone listening on their first night together. Neither would get their apologies out properly, and would their stutter extend to other verbal utterances? Moaning in staccato, now there was a hilarious thought—
Oh, right, he was still having a conversation.
"We decided to keep it secret until further notice," Sheik said. "Best not to cause panic, eh, Paya-nee?"
It took her a moment to remember the honorific he'd bestowed upon her during their first meeting, and even when she did her eyes only narrowed with suspicion.
"There's o-only o-one p-person wh-who calls m-me that," she said.
"I know," Sheik said, pulling his mask down slightly to reveal his face. "And I'd appreciate it if you kept quiet about it for now."
Her surprise was delayed, but when it arrived it was glorious. Her entire face went still, locked in an expression that was somewhere between wonder, surprise, shock, excitement, relief, and, curiously enough, happiness.
That last one was rarely aimed in Sheik's direction, and especially not about what something he'd done.
"Sh-Sheik?" she asked, stepping closer and her voice turning into a quiet hiss. "Is th-that y-you?"
"In the flesh," Sheik replied quietly with a grin he knew to be of the shit-eating kind. "And metal, I suppose. And plastic."
"P-Plastic?"
"Never mind, long story."
"M-Metal?"
"As I said, long story," he repeated, rolling his visible eye. He wasn't quite ready to show her the Guardian eye yet. His cousin's vital were already spiking. "In short, the slate has been destroyed, but I managed to transfer into this body just in time. Ta-da."
"Th-Then M-Master T-Teba was r-right," Paya said, seemingly needing a few seconds to digest the heavily abridged version of the story. "Y-You were b-being h-hunted."
"We named him Stabby," Sheik said mildly. "I stole his body when he destroyed the slate."
Paya leaned on the railing, refusing to take her eyes off him. "Th-This is a l-lot to t-take in," she said. "H-How do I kn-know y-you're not th-this...S-Stabby?"
Well, that was a fair question. Clearly, Tweety had managed to inform quite a few people in the Domain about Stabby before he'd continued chasing after them, and after that they'd probably not received much in the terms of news. Tiny had sent messengers with great haste, of course, but even they couldn't hope to compete with teleporting. The messengers would probably arrive in another day or so, if they neglected sleeping properly.
"You tell me," Sheik replied. "Anything I say to defend myself will sound suspicious, right? I already called you Paya-nee; what else will it take to prove that it's really me?"
"W-Well, y-you're not acting l-like Sh-Sheik," Paya said, glaring at him. "Y-You're t-too polite."
"Too polite?" he said, blinking. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
"P-Perhaps we sh-should g-get Aunt P-Purah and R-Robbie to t-take a l-look at y—"
"If you bring those two addlebrained, geriatric morons anywhere near me, Paya-nee, you won't live to see tomorrow," Sheik growled. "Especially the garden gnome!"
Paya pulled down her mask and smiled. "It is you," she said, nodding to herself. "I'm t-telling Impa y-you s-said th-that about P-Purah, by th-the way."
It was like an icicle had been stabbed straight into his aortic pump. Sheik felt the panic gripping at him immediately, and he nearly fell to his knees in front of his cousin.
"Please don't," he begged. "Anything but that!"
Even now he could see Impa's placid smile as she explained to Sheik just what she would do to him if he reneged on his promises and oaths to the clan, followed by a warm welcome to the family. Oh, the old bag looked like an old, wrinkly, harmless potato on her mound of pillows, but as far as Sheik was concerned, she was pure evil on par with Ganon. The only good thing about it all was that she had inexplicably chosen to fight for the side of good. Having to fight both her and Ganon would have led them all to ruin.
"Oh, a-all right, th-then," Paya said magnanimously, patting his shoulder. "I w-won't. B-But you'll have t-to t-tell me the wh-whole story of th-this." She gestured to Sheik's body.
"As soon as you tell me if Sharky's okay," Sheik countered.
She looked confused. "Sh-Sharky?"
He sighed. "Prince Sidon," he clarified.
"Oh," Paya said. "Sh-Sharky...m-makes sense. He's p-perfectly fine, j-just on b-bedrest after s-suffering from exhaustion d-during a f-fight on Ploymus."
Ah, that explained the extra security. A fight on Ploymus, in the middle of Zora territory? No wonder the allied army was being so paranoid. Sharky was all right, though, which was the important bit, and Sheik was certain Link would make doubly sure just in case. He wanted nothing more than to charge into Sharky's chambers himself, but...some things just had to be done with subtlety, much as he hated to admit it.
"Fighting who?" he asked.
"Y-Yiga," she replied with a scowl. "Th-They infiltrated our t-territory."
"Of-fucking-course," Sheik said, clenching his fists. "Figures killing their leader wasn't enough. Oh yeah, Kohga's dead, by the way."
Paya did her best not to look too surprised by that piece of information. "I th-think it's b-best we write a r-report for Impa," she said diplomatically.
"Probably a good idea," he grunted. "Maybe we should..."
He paused. A system alert had just flashed across his mind's eye, warning him of a series of heat signatures blossoming in several places to the south-west...starting near Kakariko Village. The signatures were quite large, popping up one by one in a straight line, pointing straight towards...
"The Domain?" he murmured, turning to look in the direction the signatures were coming from.
"Wh-What is it?" Paya asked.
"A fire...?" Sheik pointed up at the hill above them. Smoke had begun to rise from a point at the top, flames licking at the sky. "What is that?"
"Th-The s-signal fire," Paya gasped. "K-Kakariko!"
"What? What are you talking about?" Sheik demanded.
"A w-warning s-s-system," Paya explained, her face going pale. "If th-the f-fires are l-lit, it m-means the v-v-village is under a-attack!"
By now, more and more people in the square were noticing the fire, and a warning bell began to sound. The Sheikah nearby were shouting to each other, some making to run off but being held back by their comrades.
"What good is that system going to do if we're all the fucking way up here?!" Sheik asked.
"W-We have t-troops n-nearby," Paya said, looking anything but assured by that. "Th-They'll r-ride to assist..." She was wringing her hands, itching to run to her village's aid, but...how? The distance between the Domain and Kakariko was anything but trivial.
Unless...
"That's not good enough! I'm going!" he said, dumping his pack on the ground at his feet, keeping only the Sheikah blade sheathed on his hip. "Stand back, Paya-nee."
He was already running the teleportation script, impatiently waiting for it to run a checksum before beginning the process. Before long, the blue light began to shine around him, and he felt the Network analysing his component parts, beginning the deconstruction of his very form.
"W-Wait!"
He heard her just before her body crashed into his...and by then it was too late. The teleportation had begun.
"What the fuck are you doing, you idiot?" he shrieked, desperately running every command he knew that would delay the process, trying to find the correct script, trying to offset the irrevocable damage Paya just done by throwing herself into the teleport field and—
They were gone in an instant, the only thing heralding their departure a blue flash that faded as quick as it came, leaving behind the chaos of the Domain reacting to an attack on their most secure ally.