"Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle."
Hinata stares at the motivational saying couple with a picture of an eagle soaring as she sits in the waiting area outside of her department head's office. Every place she's ever worked at has had something similar, so she doesn't understand why this one bothers her, but it does.
She reads it twice and feels her lips pinch together before she looks away from it towards the secretary that is on the phone. The older woman smiles at her and waves her forward.
"Mr. Otsutsuki will see you now."
Hinata pushes to her feet and tries to ignore the way her fingers shake as she tucks loose hair behind her ears. She's not really nervous about the meeting. She likes her boss. She knows that whatever this is it won't be any formal reprimand. There are forms and procedures for that. She's just shaky a lot of the time now.
If anything this will be a 'check in'.
They are fairly routine in her department.
She also knows that her work has been...less...than she is capable of. Among other things.
Her suits are rumpled.
Her complexion is pale.
She's distracted.
She can only imagine the dark circles under her eyes.
She can't remember the last time she's slept for more than a couple of hours.
Taking a deep breath she digs out her leather portfolio and laptop and makes her way into the office.
Toneri Otsutsuki stands from behind his desk when she enters and offers a soft smile as he gestures towards the seat across from him. "Hinata, come in. Please, have a seat." He's not much older than she is, but his family started the business so the corporate ladder was pretty short for him.
Even so, she's found him to be nothing but a fair boss. Hands on with his employees and their projects, willing to share in both success and failure. She likes him and his husband.
"Thank you." She settles herself in the chair, at the edge, her back ramrod straight and tense.
He sits as well, tilting his head at her, his expression quizzical. She exhales and tries to affect a casual expression, but the fact is, even seated before her boss, with her job in review, her mind is not here. Her thoughts are on Naruto.
She left him a couple of spinach wraps in the fridge for lunch and even some Top Ramen so he could eat before he went to the gym and then again before work. Teuchi had called and offered Naruto an extra 3 hours today so he wouldn't be home when she got home.
She hopes he ate them.
She hopes he goes to the gym.
She hopes he took his medicine.
She...hopes.
"Are you well, Hinata?"
The question startles her out of her thoughts and she takes longer to answer than is probably normal. "I am, yes," she confirms.
"Hm." Toneri nods, opening the folder in front of him. She catches a peek at her most recent proposal. It was all over the place. Definitely not her best work.
Her fingers worry the bracelet around her wrist. "Mr. Otsutsuki-" she begins.
"Hinata." He interupts her as he flips through some additional pages. "I'm not about to evaluate you on one project. I know what you're capable of." He gestures to the documents. "How long have you worked for me?"
"Just over two years, sir."
He nods at her response. "And in that time you've shown yourself to be dependable, committed, and capable. Your performance is not under review."
Hinata blinks. "Then...why am I here?"
He clarifies, only marginally. "You've missed a lot of work recently."
"Yes."
"But you are well, you say."
"Oh." She realizes the neat trap she landed in. She sighs herself. She's never been one to lie (to anyone other than herself) and she sees no reason to start now. "I'm not sick, if that's the question."
"It wasn't." He smiles a bit, and it holds humor and a bit of sympathy. It's no secret that she's tried a few times to get Naruto on her health insurance. He doesn't press, however, and she breathes a bit easier.
"That's not the reason I called you here, either."
Hinata can't help her confusion. "If not for review, or for attendance, then…?"
He takes the topic shift in stride. "You and I both know that we have a rather substantial contract that could potentially belong to this department. I want that contract. To get it, I'm going to need my whole team at their best."
She swallows. She hasn't been at her best in awhile. "Yes, sir."
"I want you as Lead on the development team. Come up with the proposal."
Hinata's fingers tighten around her bracelet. Lead is is a lot of responsibility. It requires long hours. Full work days-with full work loads. It's a goal she's had for awhile, actually...but the timing…
She presses her lips together, ignoring the way her chest tightens up. "I'm flattered-"
"It's not flattery."
"Even so." She takes a breath. She wants to accept. She really wants it. She's dreamed of the opportunity...but... "I don't think I'm the right person for this. At least, not right now."
Toneri settles back in his chair. He doesn't ask her to reconsider. Doesn't try to sweeten the deal. She's worked for him long enough to know that an offer is made only once.
If he's disappointed, he doesn't show it. Instead, he asks, "If not you, then who."
"Shino." Her answer is immediate. He has worked unnoticed for a long time. If she couldn't have the position...well, he should.
"Aburame, huh." Toneri nods, considering. He makes a note on a piece of paper. "I'd still like you to be on the team." He glances at her.
"Of course."
Just not Lead.
Because she gave it away.
She pushes away the brief flare of resentment in her gut. It's not about what she wants.
It's about what Naruto needs.