Happiness is like a garden. It must be tended and nurtured in order to grow.
When she gets to Hanabi's she cries herself sick.
Hanabi sits on the edge of the tub while Hinata pukes her heart (or what's left of it) into the toilet.
After, Hanabi hugs her and brushes her bangs back and promises, "It's going to be okay."
Hinata wants to believe her.
Even if she can't really remember what 'okay' feels like.
In the morning she calls into work. She won't be in.
Then she calls Teuchi. Just in case. Tells him that Naruto's sick.
Hanabi makes some calls too, and just past ten there's a knock on her door and Ino Yamanaka stands on the other side with ice cream, a box of tissues, and a look of righteous retribution on her face.
Hanabi shrugs at Hinata's questioning look. "I figured you wouldn't listen to me-being baby sister and all. So…" she gestures to Ino.
Ino interrogates her.
Well, Ino would call it 'chatting', but Hinata knows better.
Ino's amazingly perceptive as well, so it doesn't take her long to fill in all the pieces Hinata leaves out, but she doesn't judge. She's never judged Hinata.
It's one of the reasons their friendship survived through the years.
They eat ice cream.
Hinata cries some more.
Naruto calls her.
She doesn't answer but she listens to the message he leaves. Just to hear his voice.
Ino stays.
Hanabi has more than enough room.
They watch Hinata like she watched Naruto. It's not the most pleasant feeling, she realizes. But she understands.
She does.
Her pants are loose.
She's lost weight.
She's not sleeping.
She barely recognizes herself.
She sees the signs…She's spent the better part of four years watching for them, so when Ino asks her over breakfast, "Should I call Dad?" Hinata nods her head: yes.
Her first appointment is scheduled for the very next day.
Inoichi Yamanaka has a calming presence.
He's easy to talk to.
Even for someone as shy as Hinata.
And he had always been kind to her.
She doesn't remember much about her mother anymore, which hurts, but she remembers Inoichi talking to her. She remembers his calm words and gentle support even as her own family seemed to grow colder and more distant from her.
She remembers sleepovers at Ino's house and dreading going back home.
She remembers Inoichi's hand on her shoulder, standing in front of her father, asking about the bruises.
She remembers him telling her that she was stronger than she thought she was.
She wonders if he is disappointed in her.
He isn't.
He is proud of her.
For seeking help.
For removing herself from a toxic situation.
He advises her to make a clean break from Naruto.
That thought alone is enough to have Hinata in tears again.
"No one is saying forever," Inoichi tells her soothingly, "but, Hinata, you need to come first for awhile. There is nothing wrong with seeing to your own needs. There is nothing wrong with seeking your own happiness."
"But Naruto is my happiness."
The look Inoichi gives her speaks volumes.
She is in his office with her face streaked with tears, unable to recall the last full night's sleep she had, missing work, and worrying her lower lip between her teeth.
Happy, she is clearly not.
No decisions need to be made right that minute.
They talk for awhile more.
He prescribes her something for her nerves and to help her sleep.
She has another appointment in 3 days.
She goes back to Hanabi's.
Ino comes too.
Neither one of them ask her anything about her visit, but she tells them anyway. About Inoichi's suggestion for a clean break..
Ino thinks the idea has merit.
Hanabi just wants Hinata happy.
Hinata wants that too.
She's never considered the possibility that may not include Naruto.