The Legend of Zelda, its characters and locations are all property of Nintendo. Any and all OCs and original locations belong to me unless specifically stated to belong to someone else.
The Voice
Chapter 76 - What Have You Done?
Yes, just like that. Just move the electrodes a little closer, allowing the arcs to cross over, leading the electricity directly to the transformer, which will—
"Gah!" Sheik yelped, jumping back in his chair as a spark leapt from the circuit board to the metal tool he was holding, and right into his hand.
"Fucking piece of shit!" he cried, nearly hurling the tool into the wall, but catching himself at the last moment, carefully placing it on the workbench (originally Sharky's desk) before finding a pencil to unleash his rage on.
It did not last very long, little more than sad pile of wood and graphite at his feet by the time it was over.
Sheik, is something wrong?
"No, Stabby, everything's just fine and fucking dandy," Sheik muttered. "Just electrocuted myself for the hell of it. Seemed like a laugh, you know?"
...you're being sarcastic again, aren't you?
Somehow, Stabby managed to convey disappointment in his system messages. It was amazing, in a way. Also, very, very annoying because the kid was just so determined to let Sheik know when he was doing something stupid.
No, wait. Something Stabby thought was stupid.
Because Sheik wasn't stupid, and non-stupid people don't do stupid things. Like putting a few thousand volts through their body for shits and giggles.
Not that he was about to admit he'd just made a mistake, that his stupid meat body had, once again, failed utterly in hand-eye coordination. Even with the blindfold off, his depth vision wasn't nearly what it should be. Bad optics, or something. Incorrect lens, maybe.
At least the AI was getting better at catching sarcasm.
"Yes, I was being sarcastic," he said with an annoyed grunt. "Stupid hand messed up again." He glared at his right hand that was, for all intents and purposes, normal. As normal as something involving this body could be, at least. Fucking thing wouldn't do as it was told all the time, though, refusing to replicate the instructions of delicate movements his brain sent to it.
You can't treat it like a mechanical limb, brother, Stabby said. It doesn't obey instructions written in code.
"No shit," Sheik growled. "I know that, okay?! It's just...eugh, switching between the two is hard. It's like I can't remember, in the thick of it, which limb is the programmable one. How the fuck did you get so good at it?"
Didn't have a choice, Stabby said, and Sheik knew he'd struck a nerve, reminding the AI of his time under Ganon's thumb...or trotter, as it were, the pig bastard. I had to learn or be destroyed.
"Right, right," Sheik said, shaking his head and swallowing down the frustration as he sat down at the workbench again, staring into the gaping maw of the obelisk. It wasn't that big of a repair job, according to the blueprints he'd found in the Network, but it required a finer touch than he was used to employ. His body refusing to cooperate didn't help either. "Sorry. Didn't mean to remind you of that shit."
It's okay—I don't mind thinking about it now that I'm free and with you and uncle Link.
Stabby was smiling, undoubtedly adorably so. Sheik could tell. Precious little brat.
"Hmph, stop being cute, I'm trying to be mad," he muttered, grabbing the tool again and preparing for another attempt. "Look up the blueprints for me and confirm if I'm at least close to doing the right thing here."
He was not.
Not remotely.
Not that he a lot of time to contemplate that as there was a knock on the door, followed by it opening swiftly, which prompted Sheik to hurriedly cover up his left eye, just in case some idiot guard had forgotten Sharky's orders to never enter his chambers without permission. Once he saw who it was, though, he relaxed and dropped his hands.
"Oh, it's you," he said. "What can I do for you, Paya-nee?"
The bruises on Paya's face had yet to fade completely, even though it'd been weeks since the attack on Kakariko. Her nose had been left a little crooked (barely noticeable, really, unless one knew what to look for), but that was the worst of the injuries she'd suffered. She was dressed in full Sheikah armour, her mask pulled down to reveal an impatient frown.
"T-Training," she said. "You're l-late."
His cousin had taken Impa's instructions seriously. The moment she'd been cleared by the healers, she'd begun to train Sheik to fight like a Sheikah, instructing him in the various arts their clan employed in battle. Swordplay, ranged throwing weapons, grappling, acrobatics...all of which required skill and grace he had yet to achieve. The sessions left him bruised and sore, and if it weren't for the fact that Paya claimed she saw improvement every day, he'd have given up by now.
Those sessions weren't until later in the afternoon, though, and it was barely noon now.
Sheik stared at her. "What're you talking about?" he asked, checking his internal clock. "I still have at least...minus twenty-two minutes? What the...?"
He'd gotten carried away with his tinkering, too focused on melding his theoretical knowledge with practical experience. Again. But hadn't he set an alarm? No, wait, he'd asked someone to remind him...
"Stabby..." he said warningly, to which there was a very long, embarrassed silence in return, until a short system message appeared:
Oops?
Fucking brat!
Before he could launch a tirade, however, Paya had him by the collar and was bodily dragging him out of the prince's chambers. He still couldn't get over how freakishly strong she was to just be able to do that, but apparently asking her how she'd done it was a big no-no.
"Wait, Paya-nee, my armour, my weapon—"
"You w-won't need th-them," Paya said firmly. "We're wrestling t-today!"
Sheik felt his stomach plunge at that. "Please, no, anything but the wrestling!"
"No, no, please, not the suplex!"
"Oh, y-yes!"
"You did that on purpose," Sheik muttered, lying face-down in the middle of the training ring the Sheikah had set up in their improvised barracks. The metal floor was covered in mats, but the impacts still hurt, damn it! If he didn't know any better, Sheik would think Paya was trying to make his nose match hers. "You didn't hold back at all."
She laughed.
Scratch that, he knew she was trying to do just that, taking sick pleasure in it all the while.
His cousin was a monster.
"Of c-course I did," the witch said, wiping her sweaty forehead with a cloth, looking smug. "How else w-would you s-stay incapacitated if I d-didn't go f-full strength? Why w-would I not?"
"Because you're trying to teach me, not actually incapacitate me!" he shouted into the mat.
"N-Now you know what t-to avoid," she said with a shrug.
"You're the worst! I hate you!"
"N-No you don't."
It wasn't Paya's who'd stuttered the last bit. Sheik turned his head painfully to see Link standing in the doorway, dressed in his champion's tunic. He'd taken to wearing it around the Domain, as a way to boost morale, to show the people that the Hero was among them.
Which had surprised the hell out of Sheik since Link generally tried not to draw too much attention to himself, least of all in a crowded area like the Zora capital. He wasn't used to it, if the nervous wreck he was at the end of every day was any indication, requiring a lot of soothing from both Sheik and Sidon to get some real rest, but he was getting...better at it.
He'd had a talk with that tyrannical sword of his, apparently, and come to an Understanding of sorts. He'd certainly seemed happier to pick it up and wield it afterwards.
Which was good. Because Sheik had been prepared to make life very difficult for that hunk of metal if it'd kept its attitude up for much longer. Spending a few days at the bottom of the lake beneath the city, for example, might have cooled it down a bit.
"Yes, I do," he replied, still speaking into the mat. "Don't tell me who I hate or not, Link. I have a carefully curated list in my head, and numerous backups throughout the Sheikah Network that regularly syncs with the original one."
He was turned onto his back by a pair of strong hands, and Link was suddenly standing above him, smiling. "C-Come on, up."
The Hero ignored Sheik's refusal for assistance and helped him off the mat and onto a bench, where he could catch his breath. His stupid stamina still wasn't close to what it should be.
"S-Sorry to interrupt," Link said, turning to Paya. "Th-Think he n-needs a b-break. M-Maybe hurt s-something else for a wh-while?"
For once, Paya's terminal shyness didn't affect her as her face turned serious, looking Link up and down. Sheik wanted to warn him, but he was too tired.
"If y-you insist," Paya said sweetly.
Sheik couldn't contain his smug smile as he watched from the side-lines as Link, over the course of fifteen extremely pain-filled minutes, learned why it wasn't a good idea to interfere with Paya-nee's training program.
"Sh-She's a sadist!"
"Hah, told ya!"
Link had stayed to observe the rest of the training session, even joining in every now and then when Paya asked (demanded) it. Where the girl's shyness in front of the Hero had gone was a mystery Sheik had no idea how to solve, but he kind of liked it? It seemed maybe the attack on Kakariko had changed something in Paya, causing her priorities to shift ever so slightly from being a shy wallflower, and in the direction of viciously destroying her enemies as painfully as possible instead.
Sheik approved.
And felt very sorry for whoever decided to set their sights on her as a partner, because they had one hell of a gauntlet to get through.
It was early in the evening, and they were heading back to Sidon's chambers for supper, both trying their best to hide their slight limps and crooked backs. Paya was an expert grappler, and a torture artist.
They were crossing the square in front of the palace when they spotted the prince himself, leading a procession of children of various races, apparently giving them a grand tour. The prince looked better now, fully recovered from the healing incident, as energetic as ever.
"...and this is her," Sidon said, pausing and pointing towards the statue of Mipha. "My sister, Princess Mipha. The finest warrior the Zora have ever seen, and the finest healer. Her compassion was legendary, her kindness knew no bounds. We miss her dearly."
The children, a loose collection of Zora, Hylians, even a few tiny Gorons, all gave appropriate oohs and aahs in response, looking up at the statue with awe.
As well they should, in Sheik's opinion. Link nodded with approval too.
"She was a true paragon, and it was her skill and compassion that made her worthy of the title of Champion," Sidon continued, gesturing proudly. "And there is...oh, hello you two!" Sidon had noticed them, waving them over.
"Oh no," Sheik groaned. There were children present. Things didn't go well when he and children were in close proximity. Sivan had been the sole exception, and only because...well, she was cool. Stabby too, he supposed, but that was more because he and Stabby were basically the same person, only separated by maturity.
He had no idea how to deal with the tiny people otherwise.
Not that he had a choice, because Sidon was now diverting the tour to them.
"Some of you have met them already, but I would like you to introduce you to Link, the Hylian Champion, and Sheik, a champion in his own right, of the Sheikah tribe. They have both been of utmost importance in securing our future victory over the evil Ganon!"
Damn you, Sharky!
The children, who had seemed mild-mannered up until then, became a swarm. Like locusts, they descended upon Sheik and Link, their high-pitched voices inundating them with questions and demands of stories of glorious battle. The Hylian children wanted to know if Link had met the legendary Princess Zelda, what Hyrule had been like before the Calamity. The Gorons wanted to know what the battle against Vah Rudania had been like. For a moment, Sheik thought he'd avoid the worst of it, but the Zora children cornered him soon enough, wanting (demanding) to know how he'd made such good friends with Sidon so quickly.
The fan club was still going strong, apparently.
Oh, I just made a giant nuisance of myself until I got a proper body and can now kiss him all I want.
Not really an appropriate response, he had a feeling.
"How the f—"
He cut himself off. Right. Children. Swearing was probably off-limits. He didn't really care, but Link always got on his case about swearing in front of Stabby, so...
"I don't...know," he said hesitantly. "It just kind of happened, honestly. I was following Link and then we fought Vah Ruta and things just kinda escalated from there. Things happened and, shit, I just went with it."
There, perfect! Didn't say fuck at all!
Wait...
"Shit!"
"Sh-Sheik!" Link exclaimed with horror, covering his mouth with his hand. "P-Please don't r-repeat that, k-kids," he said, smiling ever so crookedly at the gathered kids, whose eyes had gone wide with wonder. Almost as one, they all opened their mouths, drew a breath...
Sheik saw what was coming, and it was glorious.
"Shit! Shit! Shit!"
A chorus of cute, tiny little voices began to chant the word like it was the real name of Hylia. It was the best thing Sheik had ever heard, and he might even have joined in if it weren't for Link's hand over his mouth...the fingers of which were digging quite hard into his cheek now.
"Wh-What have you d-done?" Link hissed into Sheik's ear.
Expanded their vocabulary with one of the most satisfying swears known to man?
Probably not the best thing to say, though. Not that Sheik could, what with Link effectively gagging him.
The swear chorus was drawing a lot of attention now, most of them disapproving stares and exasperated headshakes. A few badly hidden chortles, too, but none of them would come to Sheik's rescue. Speaking of rescue... He turned his head to Sidon, wondering if he was getting any sort of assistance from the prince, but...
Nope, no help there either, as the prince simply stared at the gaggle of swearing kids like he was staring into a portal to hell or wherever the fuck Ganon had come from. His mouth kept opening and closing (much like a fish, in fact, which Sheik intended to mention later), but there were simply no words in that princely head of his that could stem the tide of profanity spewed out by the little ones.
"Ah...ah, children!" the prince finally managed to say. Or shout. Scream desperately, even. "Perhaps it is best we end the tour here. I just remembered I have urgent business with my friends here! Please, return to your parents now!"
The sound of the prince speaking in such a high-pitched tone must have made the kids realise how important this business was (that is, yet another scolding for Sheik), and while they complained and swore some more, they did obey, slowly disbanding and heading for their respective guardians. Then Sidon stomped (yes, stomped) over to where Link was still holding Sheik hostage, staring down at him.
"A word?" he asked.
Hissed, more like. Like a cat.
Hah, Sidon the catfish.
I'm on a roll today, Sheik thought, somewhat proud of himself.
"N-Not here," Link said, nodding towards a small, secluded corner of the square where a bunch of boxes would give them some privacy. Sheik was more or less manhandled into it and was met with a pair of very annoyed faces.
"Come on," Sheik said, wrenching Link's hand off his face. "It's not like they're not going to learn to swear at some point anyway! Why not learn from the master?"
"I would very much appreciate it, Sheik," Sidon said calmly, belying his agitated expression, "if you would not teach the children of the Domain to swear. At all. It sets a bad example for everyone...and their parents get very upset."
"He's r-right," Link chimed in. "I d-don't mind y-your swearing, b-but others m-might! Especially wh-when their k-kids learn it f-from you!"
Sheik harrumphed, crossing his arms. "So, you want me to not be myself? To actively censor myself? I thought you liked me..."
Ah yes, turn on the hurt, pitiful expression. That always works.
"W-We do," Link said quickly.
"But perhaps you can...tone it down a bit, in front of others. Or children, at least," Sidon added.
"I still don't see what the big deal is," Sheik muttered. "It's not like I said fuck!"
Too late did he notice the pair of blue eyes peeking at them from behind a crate, which grew wide with wonder at another new word. As much as he hated getting scolded, though, he couldn't help but feel a blossoming pride in his chest at adding yet another magical word to the kids' vocabularies. And such a versatile one, too! Could be used for anything!
Link and Sidon paused, turning in the direction Sheik was looking, their frames absolutely rigid.
It was a repeat of the chorus incident. The Hylian kid's mouth opened, a breath was drawn...
"No, no, no, please don't!" Sidon shouted as Link dove forward, apparently attempting to gag the kid before it was too late.
"Fuck!"
The kid screamed at the top of their lungs and turned, running away as fast their little legs could carry them, the Hero of Hyrule in hot pursuit. Sidon appeared rooted to the spot, hands grasping feebly at the air, having given up on...life, apparently.
"Sheik..." Sidon said, his voice a low, raspy growl.
"Uh...yeah, Sharky?" Sheik said, feeling no small amount of fear as the prince turned towards him, teeth bared.
(There was also a small amount of arousal, but he couldn't analyse that until later.)
"Run!" Sidon roared.
Sheik ran, cackling as another chorus of "Fuck" rose higher nearby.
Sheik, I understand the definition of the word fuck, but you appear to be using it for everything. Can you teach me the proper usage?
"Abso-fucking-lutely not!"
"O-Open it!"
It was unusual for the Hero to be so forceful.
Sheik could count the number of times on two...hell, he could probably do it on one hand, not even using all his fingers. But here he was, standing in front of Sheik with a determined expression on his usually sweet and benign face, holding the wooden box gifted to them by the Gerudo before they'd returned to the Domain.
"Shit, I'd forgotten about that," Sheik said, blinking down at the simple, wooden box with a carved eye symbol on the front. "What's in it?"
"I. D-Don't. Know," Link said through gritted teeth, thrusting the box into Sheik's hands, knocking the Sheikah back onto the sofa he'd been sitting on, innocently going over the obelisk blueprints in his head, on the cusp of getting the damn thing working again. Link had burst into the room with a frustrated noise, carrying the box. "And I m-must!"
Sheik stared at him for a long, thoroughly amused moment.
"How long have you been curious about this?" he asked, taking pleasure in watching Link's face twitching as he made no motion to open the box. He brushed his thumb against the locking mechanism, but otherwise did not unlock it.
"S-Since we g-got it!"
"Why didn't you open it, then?" Sheik asked, fighting back the smile. It was fun, seeing how far he could pull on Link's thread before he unravelled. It was so rare for them both to have a moment of harmless teasing, without something horribly life-threatening hanging over their heads. "It's not like it's locked with a key, see?" he flicked the lock open and closed. "A well-oiled mechanism, even."
If looks could kill, Sheik would have been dead ten times over at that moment as the Hero's blue eyes met his, and they were filled with absolute hatred.
"Open. It," Link repeated, his stutter gone.
Okay, he'd taken it as far as he dared.
"Fine, fine, geez," he said, adjusting his position so he was sitting cross-legged on the sofa. He patted the spot next to him. "Come."
"I'll s-stand, thank y-you," Link muttered, his gaze focused entirely on the box.
"Hm, would you mind stepping back, then?" Sheik asked.
"Wh-What?"
"Ayla told us not to open it in close quarters," Sheik reminded him. "Which, to be honest, still doesn't assure me that it's not a bomb of some sort."
"C-Can't you...I d-don't know, a-analyse it, or s-something?" Link asked, his boots tap-tap-tapping on the floor in a show of impatience and excitement. "W-With your e-eye?"
"It can't see through walls, Link," Sheik said, shaking his head. "Surface analysis only." He held the box closer to his face, letting his artificial eye take a gander anyway. "Just wood," he said after the data scrolled across his vision. "Ironwood, in fact. Very dense, hard to work with. A fine gift."
Link took a deep breath through his nose, his eyes closed, shoulders rising and falling as he kept breathing.
Sheik never could resist drilling at a nerve when he found one.
"Something wrong?" he asked sweetly.
"Sh-Sheik?"
"Yes?"
"Open th-the box," Link said slowly, his eyes opening to reveal the coldest shade of blue Sheik had yet to see in them. "Or I w-will th-throw you t-to Robbie and P-Purah."
Sheik gasped. "You wouldn't."
"I w-will."
"Just because I want to take as much enjoyment out of opening our gift as possible?"
"B-Because you're d-doing this j-just to a-annoy me!"
"And you'd breach all sense of morals and ethics to get back at me for it?" Sheik was shocked. Shocked!
"I w-would," Link said, lowering his voice. "W-With no r-regrets."
"Link!" Sheik gasped. "You...you...you are amazing. I'm so proud." He sniffed, wiping away an imaginary tear. "Finally learning how to threaten people properly. I think I have a speech prepared, let me load it up—"
"Sheik! I swear to Hylia!"
Ooh, two instances of the stutter disappearing in one conversation. Sheik was on a roll!
But all good things must end. He'd have to try for three times in the same conversation sometime later. Honestly, he was quite curious about the contents of the box himself, but he'd truly forgotten about it after the attack on Kakariko and the business concerning his lacking power supply. After that it'd just...slipped his mind. Clearly not Link's, though. Goddesses, the boy must have been so frustrated this entire time...
"Okay, okay, I'll stop," he said, grinning. "Let's open it, shall we?"
"Yes!"
He undid the mechanism and slowly cracked open the lid, wary of something exploding or jumping out of the box. He paused.
Oh Goddesses.
"Wh-What is it?" Link asked, frustration evident in his tone. Probably ready to clobber Sheik over the head with a moblin club at this point.
"I just had a horrifying thought," Sheik said. "What if there's something alive in it." He paused. "Or something that was alive, at the moment we got it?"
It had been sitting in Sheik's pack for weeks at this point. Nothing could have survived for that long without air, food, or water.
Right?
And the girls...they'd have told them to open it at the earliest opportunity if they'd stuffed some poor creature into it, right?
Well, Risa was a wildcard in this case. Sheik loved her for being unpredictable, but this was a step too far...
"Just open the fucking box!" Link shouted.
"All right, fine!" Sheik shouted back, flipping the lid open completely, bracing himself for the horrors within.
Of which there was none.
Instead, there were...
"...h-handles?" Link asked, peering down at the three grip-shaped pieces of shiny, golden metal inside the box.
Sheik reached inside and took one of them out, finding that the grip part fit his hand perfectly. Honestly, it looked like a sword, only without the actual sword part. The other two grips looked different, more tube-shaped and slightly asymmetrical to each other. They looked like they were supposed to be screwed together at the bottom.
"Not just handles," Sheik said, letting his eye run a quick analysis. He grinned, finding the hidden switch hidden where his thumb would go. "Stand back."
Link did so, and Sheik flicked the switch. The room lit up with brilliant blue as energy shot out of the end of the grip, a containment field quickly halting its spread and making it coalesce into the shape of a blade.
"Th-That's a G-Guardian sword," Link said, looking with wonder at the weapon. "H-How did they g-get it?"
"Must have taken it off a scout, I'm guessing," Sheik said, carefully placing the box on the sofa and standing up, waving the blade around experimentally with his right hand. It was so much lighter than any of the practice blades he'd been using up till now, much less the real one he'd wielded in the attack on Kakariko. "Though how they managed to do so without breaking the blade itself...I've no idea."
The ancient Sheikah had been a paranoid bunch, incorporating anti-tampering technology in the Guardians to prevent the enemy from taking the weapons off destroyed units. Didn't really help when the enemy infiltrated the entire Network and took control of the Guardians from within, but it had sure prevented the scavengers of Hyrule from making use of them. Robbie had presumably cracked the key to that, though, since he was busy repurposing the weapons or improving them.
The Gerudo, though...as far as Sheik knew, they didn't have expertise with tech.
"The Y-Yiga?" Link suggested. "S-Stole it f-from them, m-maybe?"
"Hm, maybe," Sheik agreed. That was a likely hypothesis. He went through a few basic katas and found that this sword was far more to his liking. "Mind if I keep this?" he asked.
"I h-have h-her," Link said, motioning to the Master Sword, strapped proudly to his back. "All y-yours."
Sheik nodded slowly, trying not to stare too much at the handle of the sword on Link's back. Fucking thing creeped him out. And it'd made Link's life and childhood a misery, apparently, and that meant Sheik and it were enemies for eternity.
"Thanks," he said, deactivating the sword, slipping it into his belt. He'd have to try it out properly in the training yard later, where he'd have room to work with it and not accidentally cut someone's head off.
"And th-these?" Link said, looking into the box and taking out the twin pair of tubes. "Can't b-be a s-sword."
"Give it," Sheik said, taking them from Link and screwing them together. Together, they were about the length of his arm. "Hm, long handle, but only one barrel...could be a glaive, maybe. Definitely stand back."
A click, a whirr, and once more the room was bathed in blue light as an energy blade in the shape of a spear point appeared at the end.
A bit anti-climactic. Sheik had hoped for a bigger blade. Definitely useful, though, for keeping the enemy at bay. He'd have to ask Paya for instructions in the use of spears.
Because Sheik was slowly coming to realise there was not a single instrument of violence, blunt, bladed, or otherwise, that his cousin was not familiar with or, indeed, absolutely deadly in the use of.
"Beautiful," he said, staring at the energy blade. The power supplies were likely about to run out, but that was hardly going to be a problem if only Robbie could get his miserable short arse in gear and finish the damned project.
Fragility was going to be a problem, too. Sheik could tell already that these weapons, beautiful as they were, would easily break if not handled correctly. They were hardly things to swing around wildly and hope to hit something. No, they required precision and skill.
"L-Looks l-like you and P-Paya are g-going to be b-busy," Link said, eyes glittering in the blue light.
"Yeah," Sheik agreed, almost mesmerised. "Think I can test them on Robbie's stuff?"
Link's sigh of misery echoed in the room.