Hello I'm back :)
Chapter 11:
I watch him through my window, lumbering through the streets with his usual treats. The ones he always brings me on market days. This time, however, he also carries a basket.
Is it picnic day, too?
I hug Jessica, the potato sack doll, to my chest. My mother made her for me when I was born so I've had her well before I can remember. She's my comfort when I'm lonely… which seems to be more often, nowadays.
In a couple of minutes, he will be at the front door. I should get out of bed.
The room is dense with gray. Gray walls, gray floors. Their only salvation are my attempts to cover them with hues of red and blue. Dyes that were gifted to me on my birthday two years ago. I'd since run out of dyes and only fifteen blocks had been completely filled in.
One day, I'll fill them all in, I determine every single morning.
I drop my feet to the ground, and listen to the echoes of their tap, tap, tapping down the long-arched halls to the bathroom, taking with me the fading, glistening hopes of my dreams. Of the world outside the Cathedral's courtyard.
Mom calls to me as I finish putting my hair up with a hair stick. "Bella. Jacob is here, darling."
"I know," I call back, putting on my stockings first, and then my black cloak, and then my black boots. I descend the stair-well to the foyer, greeted by the nodding heads of our servants. Mom is at the doorway near the guards, talking to Jake. She sees me and turns.
"It seems Jacob brought you breakfast today, so you two will be heading to the courtyard?" She says with a smile as sweet as raisin-bread. Her strawberry hair bounces as she stands up straight, dressed in a long, brown dress. Jake smiles up at me but I can't bring myself to smile back.
"I'm sick of the courtyard," I say as blunt as my father, and my mother's smile drops. "Can we please have breakfast on the outlook?"
"Darling, it's so dangerous up there," she says, interlacing her fingers together. Jacob looks between the two of us.
"I'll be careful, I promise," I say. "I really want to watch the performers in the market. I can only see them from up there."
My mother opens her mouth to tell me no, like she always does, when Jacob interrupts. "Madam Swan, I'm sure it will be okay. I will make sure nothing happens to her."
Mom glances down at him for a moment before shifting her weight side to side.
"Um, well… Alright."
I leap into the air. "Yes! Thank you, Mom."
"But just this once. Be very careful." She raises her finger at the both of us.
"We will be," Jake assures. "Let's go, Bella."
He runs to me in his trouser leathers and tunic, handing me the bag of goodies while keeping a tight hold on the picnic basket.
"You're a lifesaver," I say beneath my breath. He chuckles and leads the way to the back door of the cathedral.
The huge wooden doors give way to bright sun and baby blue sky. Clouds rest in the tops of the sycamore trees, scattered about like cotton tufts. The outer courtyard is brimming with river stone walkways and candied plants blooming various colors of the mid-shower rainbows. The bees buzz by and the river taunts us with its crystalline sheen. It's just warm enough for a picnic atop the coveted outlook to the inner city.
Jacob leads the way.
"Remember, stay far away from the edges," he instructs, "or your mother will kill me."
I laugh. "You got it."
Climbing dozens of stone steps is a nightmare in itself, but worth the view. Once we make it to the height, I run ahead to catch the brass railing between my palms.
"Wow. Look at it," I yell.
"Bella!" Jacob jogs up from behind, pulling me off the ledge. "Really? After what I just said?"
I shrug. "I'm not frail on the outside, just on the inside. That's what father tells me, anyway. I'll be fine."
"Anyone could fall. Even me," Jacob replies, sitting me down and opening the picnic basket. "...Not just people who are sick. Here."
He hands me a sourdough loaf and a plate of cream cheese with yellow onion. My mouth waters, although the bustling city streets beyond the railing win my attention. Dancing gypsies and men dressed funny doing tricks with cards and balls line the roads that are filled with people. If only I could be right in front of them like the rest of the children.
"I knew you might like that one." Jacob eyes me and points to the man doing tricks. "So I got these for you."
He hands me the paper bag with a paper-wrapped parcel inside. I stare at it for a long time before carefully untying the string. The surprise in my hands unfolds to a deck of cards with hand-drawn jesters on them. I smile wide.
"This is wonderful. I love it." My chest caves with longing as I return my gaze to the streets that stretch to the horizon.
"You know, this may not last forever. The doctors have said—"
"That it will probably clear up before I'm thirteen," I turn my face and snicker.
He chuckles. "You know, then?"
"Yeah, but it's so far away."
"Only four years." He spreads cream cheese on his rye.
"I can't even remember being alive four years ago." I wrap my cards back up slowly before stuffing the sourdough so far in my mouth that I have to open chew for a bit.
He laughs. "At least you have the best view in the entire city."
"I suppose. What was Mr. Henry like today? Bitter and cranky as usual?" I had never met Mr. Henry, but Jacob would talk about him every day that he stopped by. He was the milkman of the town, a service needed almost every day by the military boys under William Black—Jacob's father.
"Yeah, same old Mr. Henry."
I nod and contemplate a little. "Do you think he cries tears of milk?"
"Maybe," Jacob taps his chin with his finger. "Or maybe he pees milk."
We crack up laughing. Pee is always funny.
I place another ring of onion on top of my cream-cheesed bread and take a big bite.
"Have you been practicing?" Jacob asks, and suddenly the day seems grayer.
I look down into my lap full of crumbs. "No."
"Bella..."
"What? I don't want to think about it." If I have to think about Essence Dissonance, then I have to think about the things I'm hiding from. The things we all are hiding from.
"You have to, though. Just in case."
"I... I don't want to."
Thanks for reading :)