"I understood myself only after I destroyed myself. And only in the process of fixing myself, did I know who I really was."
Inoichi shares that quote with her.
She keeps it in her wallet.
She agrees to a second date with Naruto.
She's not entirely sure it's a good idea, but every time he's called her he's sounded...off. Not in a way that sends off alarms, but in a way that had her curious. She recognizes what it's like to speak to someone like you're afraid any word you say is going to set off a reaction that you don't want.
That level of uncertainty is uncomfortable, she knows from too much experience, and the last thing she wants is for Naruto to feel that way about her.
Like he's going to set her off.
Plus, she just wants to see him.
When she catches sight of him waving at her near the arcade entrance adjacent to the theater they agreed to meet at she's pretty sure she stops breathing. He's so gorgeous.
He's always been good looking. Blond, blue eyed, with tan skin and a smile that could light up a room...but he looks particularly devastating to her right now. She swallows-even though her mouth is dry-and gives a little smile and wave before she moves to join him.
"Hi." She greets him.
"Hi." He smiles.
She tucks her hair behind her ears and looks up at him."So, why did you want to come so early? The movie doesn't start for forty-five minutes."
Naruto gives her one of his sly smiles and then he pulls a plastic cup from behind his back, and she can hear clinking. She realizes the cup is half full of game tokens.
"Games?"
He nods, biting his lower lip. He looks both parts excited and nervous.
It's such an adorable Naruto expression. She can't resist. "Okay." She starts towards the arcade.
"But first." Naruto stops her, stepping into her path, holding out his free hand, palm up.
For a moment she's confused, and then she remembers their last phone call where he asked to see one of her "cool ass squares." She assured him that they were anything but cool, but he insisted he judge for himself. She pulls her most recent multicolored square of knitted yarn from her purse.
Naruto trades her for the cup of tokens taking the square in both hands.
He studies it with serious scrutiny. "So this is the square?"
"One of them." She nods, scrunching her nose. It's not even her best one. She should have brought her best one.
He turns it over in his hands a couple times, appraisingly. "It looks really good."
Well...compared to what the older ladies were whipping up it was comically insufficient. Still, she blushes a bit. "It has a couple flaws."
"I can't see them."
He's looking at her and not the square and she knows his words hold deeper meaning than she wants to consider at the moment, so she deflects. "You can keep it if you want. It can be a potholder or a washcloth or whatever."
"Thanks, Hina." He kind of fidgets with it and she realizes he doesn't really have a place for it.
She hands to cup of coins back to him to trade him for the square again. "I can hold it for you until after."
He nods, but his eyes follow where she tucks it. Like he's afraid he might not get it back. She catches his eye and he rubs the back of his head. "Ready?" she asks.
"Yup! Lets go."
The place is louder than she likes, but it's not overly crowded. There are teenagers and tired parents milling about, as well as a few others around her and Naruto's age. She scans the games and settles on skeeball.
"Interesting first game to let me crush you at." He grins smugly as he feeds in the appropriate amount of tokens into each of their machines.
This is the Naruto she daydreams about. Cocky and confident and just a tad silly. But she gets the feeling that he's pretending to be that Naruto as much as she is pretending that her heart isn't lodged in her throat and that she doesn't want to throw herself into his arms and hold on and never, ever , let go.
"Oh no," She whispers softly, shaking herself out of the sadness before it can latch on. She lifts her eyes to directly stare into his, her lips arched in challenge. "Did you think I was going to let you win?" She finishes, with a sweet little smile and a bat of her lashes-just for good measure.
Naruto blows out a breath, standing back to his full height which is head and shoulders above her. "Alright, alright Hyuuga. I see you've come to play."
She blinks, still feigning innocence.
She's actually pretty good at the game-but she's distracted by watching him-so in the end they both only win a few tickets each. She blushes a bit when she realizes his game was off because he was watching her too.
"Wanna shoot some hoops?" Naruto asks, scanning the area.
That's one thing she's never been good at, but he seems eager, so she offers, "You can."
He purses his lips for a moment, seeming to weigh the idea. She smiles encouragingly. She wants him to have fun. "Just one round." He promises. She shrugs easily. He can play as many as he wants. She's just happy to be near him.
He approaches the game with a bit of swagger. Then proceeds to completely miss his first two shots. "It's cause I didn't say Kobe ."
Hinata nods. He's so silly and she adores it. Her heart swells in her chest and she bites her lip. Naruto tries a few more shots and none of them are particularly good. He sighs, but he's still smirking. He turns to face her and throws one of the balls backwards over his head.
It slams loudly into the wall.
"Did it go in?" he asks, grinning.
"Nothing but net," she promises, holding up her fingers in some mock 'scout's honor' salute.
Encouraged, he picks up two of them at a time to throw. Neither go in. He then throws one up and tries to hit it with a second.
"Could've sworn I had that one." He snaps his fingers.
Her heart swells even more and she's sure she can hear her ribs cracking under the pressure. Partly because she's missed him so, so much...and partly because she sees right through him.
This is an act.
Yes, he's smiling.
Yes, he's having fun.
But it's all surface.
She can see the unease in the lines of his body, in the way he carries himself. She knows every hue of blue his eyes can be and they are not the right shade for joy. She's spent years watching him (creepy as that sounds) and she knows his nuances better than she knows her own.
Which is, of course, part of her current set of problems...but that's not where her mind is.
She's focused on him.
He collects his hard-earned basketball ticket and holds it out to her with dramatic flourish. "For you."
She smiles, taking it in her hand. It's a cheap slip of cardstock and yet her fingers curl over it protectively. "Thank you."
He nods at her absently, his busy gaze already scanning the arcade for their next game-like he thinks if he gives her too much downtime she's going to run away from him. It makes her sad, because she knows she did that.
"Wanna race some cars?" He interupts her thoughts. Thankfully .
She follows his gaze to the grouping of race car game machines. Sure. this she can do. Side by side, they make their way over to two that are connected, candy pink, so they can race against each other.
Naruto sets the plastic cup between them. The game is some form of knock-off 'Wreck it Ralph' candy themed race but it looks fun. Hinata picks a candy cane striped racer and catches naruto eying her selection.
She narrows her eyes at him. "No cheating."
"S'not cheating." He defends with a smirk.
She snorts, disbelieving. "You're going to run me off the road."
He looks properly affronted with wide eyes and his hand to his chest. "Am not."
She blows a raspberry between her lips, watching the countdown.
Naruto's first move is to drive into the side of her car.
"It's not bumper cars." She scolds, still smiling. Smiling because she knew what he was going to do. She feels some weird form of gladness at that. She still knows him.
"That was totally an accident." He promises as he runs into her again.
She leans back in order to give him a proper glare.
He is completely unintimidated, but he does finally shift into gear and start on the actual race track. They're in last, but it doesn't take long to catch up to the rest. It is a kid's game after all.
Naruto laughs, and Hinata finds herself looking at him and not her screen. Like always, she's momentarily stunned by the effect he has on her senses. God, she loves everything about him.
Naruto makes a revving sound as he shifts gears. "Man, Hinata. I don't even know how to drive and I'm killing you." he glances at her and she's caught staring at him.
If there is a God, she doesn't have any drool on her face and he'll just let it go.
"Oh my god, Hinata. Were you just checking me out?"
Looks like she's an atheist now.
She feels her ears burn. "No," she denies.
"You were ogling me," he accuses. His voice lowers to a loud whisper. "Objectifying me."
She shakes her head, torn between laughter and embarrassment, happy when her hair slips over her shoulder to veil her expression.
"I feel so used."
She's mortified.
He leans over to let his shoulder pump against hers in a little apology even as he rounds the final corner, securing his win over her.
"Can you believe that?" He taps the steering wheel. "And I don't even have a license."
"You cheated."
He shrugs his shoulders, totally fine with the accusation. "I gotta do what I gotta do, Hyuuga. Don't hate the player, hate the game."
She can't help but smile at his antics. Superficial or not, it was nice to see him smiling.
"We probably have time for one more." He's glancing around the arcade again. She wants to tell him that she's not going anywhere. He doesn't have to keep her busy, but he's distracted by his search. She sees the way his eyes linger on one of the games in the corner before they skirt past it. No doubt looking for something more her speed.
"You want to play the ninja dance game?" she asks him.
"No, it's okay." He shakes his head, giving her a nod, before resuming his scan.
She grabs the cup between them. It's not a game the old Hinata would play. But maybe 'work in progress' Hinata might like it. She did have "flow" according to Guy Sensei.
"Let's go." She walks away from him towards the two joined red platforms.
"Are you sure you don't want to do it with me?" He sounds skeptical.
She nods.
"Okaaay." He's still not convinced.
"I'll play you." A young voice speaks up, having heard their conversation. He's probably in junior high, standing there with some friends in ripped jeans and a tattered skateboard hoodie.
"Sure." Naruto agrees.
Hinata feels a tiny bit of disappointment at that. She was kind of interested to see his reaction to her stepping out of her comfort zone. But Naruto has always had a soft spot for kids, so she understands.
"Hinata?" He asks her for the cup of coins.
"You got this Inari!" One of the other kids yell. It's kind of cute how his voice squeaks.
"He's gonna beat you in front of your girlfriend." Another adds.
Okay, maybe not so cute.
"Jokes on you." Naruto mumbles as he steps onto the platform. "She not my girlfriend."
Hinata's not sure if he meant her to hear it or not, but she does. And it hurts.
It's fair.
It's the truth (more or less, because in her heart she's always been his, and she still is).
But it hurts.
She twists her bracelet around her wrist and waits for the game to start.
The game looks pretty fun, she decides, watching Naruto do a series of pretend kicks and running moves. The teen beats him, but Hinata's not entirely sure that Naruto didn't throw the game. He was like that. A sweetheart without being obvious about it.
He leaves the remainder of their coins and tickets with the group.
"I can't believe you didn't try and win me one of those big stuffies." Hinata teases, just so she can redirect her thoughts.
"I barely had enough tickets to win you one of these little candies." Naruto laughs. "I'll buy you a big one instead."
"Movie time?"
He nods, leading her to the other side. The line isn't too long so they arrive at the concession stand pretty quickly, which is good. She orders popcorn with extra butter, a fountain soda, and some gummy candies.
Naruto just gets a water.
She stares at him for what feels like a full minute.
He shrugs, rubbing his hair. "I'm not supposed to eat too many carbs. My fight's coming up."
"But, you love popcorn."
He nods sadly-a little pout on his face.
"Well, you'll just have to share some of mine. Not technically cheating, right? It's not like it's your popcorn."
"That's some shady logic," he teases, but he's already reaching for some kernels. They wait for the movie line to progress.
"You know," Naruto comments, grabbing a few more pieces."It was pretty rude of you, earlier, to just check me out like that."
Not this again. She slides him a glare.
She used to be good at glaring, right?
Or maybe he just let her think she was, because right now, he's grinning.
"I know I'm like super hot now, but I'm not just a slab of meat, Hinata. I'm a person. With feelings."
"Is that so?" She asks, clipped and witha sniff.
He nods solemnly. "Yeah. I think you should make it up to me."
"Do you?" She narrows her eyes more. Her glare is, once again, completely ineffectual.
"Yup sure do." He beams.
"How would you like me to do that?" She asks, dryly.
"Hmmm..." He puts his hand to his chin, like he's really putting some thought into it. "Ya'know, I thinking holding my hand would smooth it over."
She wasn't sure what answer she expected, but that wasn't it. She fidgets a bit-hesitant. It's just hand holding, but it's never just anything with Naruto.
"It's only fair." He says.
"Is it?" She finally regains some composure.
He nods, looking pretty pleased with himself.
She rolls her eyes. He's not going to let up, and honestly, she wants to reach for him. So she does. She reaches out her free hand to his, lacing their fingers.
It feels right.
"Ahh, that'll do it." He smiles at her but his cheeks are pink.
She faces forward, pretending to be unaffected. "Mmmhmm."
He squeezes her hand softly. "Believe it."
She does.
She always has.