"A man devoid of hope and conscious of being so has ceased to belong to the future."

Years of crippling self-doubt and anxiety don't vanish overnight simply because you want them to.

As nice as that would be.

In the days following her father's funeral Hinata has become more resolute in her efforts to change herself (or to become herself, as Inoichi calls it), and yet she finds that she still struggles with herself and with her insecurities.

Inoichi reminds her that healing takes time, and the challenges can be difficult. If it were easy, then people like him would be out of work.

Even so, Hinata wants to push herself a little harder.

A little further out of her comfort zone.

The next time Toneri offers her the Lead position on a contract bid, she takes it. It's government, so it's a rather important one. She's up to the task, she assures him.

She's not weak.

She won't break.

She twists her hair back into a bun and stares determinedly at her rival.

"I'm stronger than you." She tells her reflection.

If that seems crazy, well, then only Argus knows.

She graduates her self defense course. Tenten is still impressed with Hinata's skills, and offers to have her trained as an instructor. It's flattering, but Hinata declines. She does, however, go to Eight Gates and ask Sensei if she can spar.

He is, predictably, ecstatic.

He has her watch several matches, having her critique them.

She has a good eye, he tells her. Which, even watching from the outside is good, but it's harder when you're the one on the mat. He has her practice against him-punching and kicking pads like usual. Baguazhang was a martial art, after all, so she had been striking pads for awhile.

But then he starts pushing back. Making her counter.

Then he has her pair up with Lee.

Lee is, hands down, the best fighter Hinata has ever seen. Not that her experience is incredibly vast, but she's seen enough now to know that Lee's talent was unrivaled by anyone currently at Eight Gates with the exception of Guy Sensei.

Lee is incredibly fast.

Hinata had a hard time blocking at first.

He never strikes her hard-just enough to connect and let her feel the 'tag'.

But before long she is blocking successfully.

Thinking that maybe he was not taking her as serious as some other fighters, she had told him, "Please don't hold back. I won't get any better if you do."

Lee had blinked at her. "I'm not," he had told her. "I wouldn't dishonor you in that way. I do not strike you because I can not strike you. You are very fast."

Sensei sees her self-doubt and has her square up with a few of the regulars.

Turns out she's actually good at evading. At predicting her opponents.

They can't touch her.

She still hesitates to attack them, though. Even in practice, she dislikes the idea of hurting anyone. She's still happier in her circle. Still more at peace when it's just her and the movements. But she wanted to try something new.

So she did.

No one mocks her for her efforts.

Sensei doesn't call her a failure when she doesn't win.

Some of the other fighters even come to her for advice from time to time, asking her to watch their matches and tell them what she sees, looking to her for suggestions.

It's flattering, but also, something that wasn't given to her. She earned their respect through her hard work. It makes her proud.

She carries that pride with her whenever she can.

Like when her contract team runs into some unexpected opposition and her work hours become longer and more chaotic.

Or when she has a panic attack in her laundry room for seemingly no reason.

Or when she dreams of her mother and father and has to fight with herself to get out of bed the whole weekend.

She pushes her furniture aside and practices her eight mother palms when she feels overwhelmed.

Sometimes she wants to call Naruto, but she talks herself out of it most days. He's got his own battles to fight and she'll do what she can to support that and not hinder it.

She has supporting him on her mind when she calls the hospital to pay for his medication and see how many refills he had left, so she could call Dr. Senju if needed.

"Your name?"

"Hinata Hyuuga."

There's a pause as the secretary clicks on her keyboard. Then, "I'm sorry, but I can't give you that information."

Hinata stops swirling doodles on her notepad. "Uhm...why not?"

"Only parents, guardians, caregiver, advocates, or people the patient has assigned can get medical information-"

"I know that," Hinata cuts in, a little sharper than she means to. "I'm-I'm on his list." She's the only one on his list.

There's more typing. "You're not there now. If you were before, you've been removed. "

"What? Why?"

The secretary gives a tired sigh. She probably doesn't get paid enough to listen to near hysterics. "Ma'am, I would suggest contacting the patient and taking it up with him. Is there anything else?"

"Oh, uhm, no. No. Thank you. Sorry." Hinata hangs up and immediately dials Naruto. How in the world was he going to get his medicine if she didn't pay for it? Did he think the pharmacy fairy was supplying it? Worse, what if he wasn't picking it up? What if he wasn't taking it? What if he stopped seeing his doctor? Without her there to remind him or drive him...what if-what if something had happened to him? What if-

"Hello?"

Oh, thank god. "Naruto. Are you... all right?"

There's a small delay, like he's processing what she said. "Um, yeah? Should I not be?"

"I called your doctor's office. You... took me off the account?" Maybe it's a mistake. Maybe a clerical error.

"Um, yeah."

Oh. So not a mistake then.

She pauses, trying for a calm she doesn't completely feel. "Did I do something?"

There's another pause. "Isn't that what you wanted?" He finally asks her, with a sigh.

"What?" She's not following. She never asked to be taken off his account.

"You can't take care of me anymore. I get it."

That strikes right through her.

Because, yes, she said that.

But that didn't mean she stopped caring.

That she wasn't going to help him.

"Please don't throw my words in my face." Especially when they're so misconstrued. She leaves that out, because she doesn't want to fight. They'd been civil lately. She wants to keep it that way.

She's still kind of emotionally tanked from her father's death and recalling just exactly how her mother died. Fighting with Naruto isn't something she can handle at the moment.

"I'm not. Look, I took you off my account so they didn't bother you with my appointment reminders, or my bills, or anything. I'm not trying to hurt you or, like, get back at you. Nothing like that."

She breathes a little sigh, because she can tell that he's not being completely truthful. She decides not to push. She worked too many hours this week and her emotions are frayed. Best to just let it be for now. "Okay."

"Hey, do you maybe want to go get dinner?"

Naruto's question surprises her. "Dinner?"

"Yeah, there's something I wanted to ask you about."

She's tired.

She's drained.

But it's Naruto.

So she says yes.