Chapter 9 - Decisions Decisions

Jane realised she was still rooted to the spot as she heard the faint sound of the showers slowly being turned on in the distance.

"Damn you Riley." She whispered out loud.

The brunette finally persuaded her legs they needed to start moving, as she began to slowly walk towards the doors to the gymnasium. Her mind was racing with all kinds of thoughts and feelings she didn't even think were possible when she woke up this morning. She felt quite silly now, being awake most of the night and fretting all morning over trivial things, such as what underwear Maura might like the most, when in reality, this was awaiting her.

Why had Riley chosen now to suddenly pretend that she was interested? It was fake, Jane knew that, another mind game that Riley was so good at playing. It had been a year since the pair had called it off completely, it had taken a while, but they had been friendly(ish) since. Truthfully, it had been a year since Jane had told Riley she couldn't take it anymore; the older woman had changed so much in a short time and Jane just couldn't handle it. The Italian couldn't help but think about the first time they met, she was so young and naïve, believing Riley was everything she wanted and needed.

Jane had shown promise in her P.E. classes and had been asked to try out for the football team by Coach Crow, she would be the youngest at try outs, as the majority of the team were seniors. However, he had also recommended joining a local gym to increase her stamina. The proud Italian had initially scoffed at Crow, but after she almost collapsed while doing the bleep test, she quickly changed her mind.

Her first session was straight after school the following Monday, after seeing a boxing class advertised in her Pop's paper the week before. Jane was surprised at seeing a wide variety of men and women of all shapes and sizes at the class. They all seemed very friendly and Jane settled in comfortably, one woman however, caught Jane's eye immediately. She was a bit shorter than the brunette, her shoulders were slightly wider, but her caramel skin was sculpted perfectly over toned arms and legs. Glancing down, Jane slowly took in the rest of her body, including a royal blue sports bra that was tightly pulled over a very ample chest. The woman's glossy, chocolate brown hair was pulled back into a high ponytail, that highlighted her defined cheek bones. Jane was completely stunned. She knew she hadn't really been into boys, but she just thought it was the ones at her school that were immature and well…gross. The brunette had often caught herself looking at some of the girls at school and noticing they were pretty but hadn't really thought anything of it. However, as she stood with her jaw dropped slightly and with a new throbbing between her thighs, she knew it was definitely a woman who would steal her heart.

Throughout the session, Jane noticed this mysterious woman watching her out of the corner of her eye, a smirk played on the Italian's lips as she caught the woman staring at her abs. She's not the first, Jane thought to herself. The instructor blew his whistle for the final time dismissing the now sweaty men and women, congratulating them on a good workout. Jane hung back to talk to the instructor, asking if he had any recommendations of exercises to build up her stamina even further.

"Well, there's this programme called 'Couch to 5k', you seem in pretty good shape though Rizzoli, so you might want to skip the first few weeks, but download the podcast and try it out next time you're here. In fact… hey Riley?!" The instructor shouted over Jane's shoulder, the Italian turned and saw the caramel skinned beauty from earlier coming over to join them.

"Yeah Jase?" she answered, her voice was a lot smoother than Jane expected.

"I was just talking to Jane here about 'Couch to 5k', you're probably more familiar than I am so I'll leave you two ladies to it." Jase was smiling, he knew perfectly well the details of the running podcast, but he had seen the way the two women were checking each other out during his class and thought why not let them have some fun?

Riley gave him a knowing look and playfully slapped his arm, "Sure, I can do that."

As Jase walked away, Riley turned to face Jane and reached out her right hand,

"So I'm Riley… as you probably guessed, Jane was it?"

"Yeah, J-Jane erm, Rizzoli." Jane hated the fact she'd already tripped over her words, but Riley would think it was endearing right? She extended her right hand to take Riley's and both women's breath hitched feeling the electricity that shot through their fingers.

"Italian? Nice." What Jane didn't know at the time, was that Riley was kicking herself over the cheesy line, nice? Who even says that?

They both laughed at the failed attempt at charm, which helped to break the ice. The pair chatted effortlessly, their stances shifting ever closer until Riley's alarm buzzed on her phone.

"Ah crap I've got to get to class, but I'd love to see you again before next week. Fancy a coffee sometime?" Riley appeared quite confident, but Jane could see how much she was fidgeting with the towel that was in her hands.

"Yeah sure, I'd love that… I'll give it to you when we've showered?"

Both of the women's eyes opened wide at what had just tumbled out of Jane's mouth.

"My, erm, number…. I will give you my number when we get out of the shower…. Separately, shower separately. Oh fuck it." Jane hung her head, but luckily Riley was laughing.

"Come on you charmer, number and coffee first, then we'll see if you'll give it to me." With a wink, Riley walked to the showers still laughing, "Come on Rizzoli." She shouted back to Jane, who was still awestruck over the fact someone so gorgeous wanted her number.

After they had both quickly showered, separately of course, the two women got dressed and walked to the gym door together where they exchanged numbers. The natural chemistry between the two women was obvious, subtle touches as they were talking, a lingering hug goodbye and a kiss on the cheek from Riley. Jane was hooked. Within a few hours they had arranged a time for coffee and were constantly messaging. Jane couldn't help it, she was addicted to this woman. She wanted to know everything. She wanted to be with her.

Angela Rizzoli knew straight away of course, her daughter who had never cared about her appearance suddenly started looking cleaner, more stylish and even started wearing perfume on a daily basis. Not to mention, Jane was hardly home and when she was her eyes were glued to her phone that was buzzing every two seconds. The matriarch lived for details, so decided one night to approach Jane.

"Janie, the baseball is on downstairs if you wanna go down with your father and brothers, or are you okay up here?" Her Ma peered around her doorway, for once she was glad to see Jane's phone was down and she was reading.

"Yeah Ma, just reading this for class. Need to keep up my average if I want to be on the team permanently. I'll come down in a bit." Jane knew her mother had an ulterior motive, she thought she had at least 5 minutes before the interrogation started.

"You know Janie, I was about your age when I started dating."

Wow, one minute it is. Angela walked over and sat on the end of the bed, resting her hand on Jane's outstretched legs.

"And you're telling me this because?" Jane sarcastically replied, knowing full well where this was going.

"Well… you've been looking very nice lately. I was just wondering if there was someone special?" Her Ma's eyes were sparkling, eagerly anticipating her daughter's response.

"Ma, don't pry."

"Oh please Janie, I know you've just turned 17 and I embarrass you, but just give me one detail. Pleeeease Janie."

"Urgh fine. One detail. Their eyes are brown. There. One detail." Jane huffed, picking up her book again.

"Their eyes?" Angela questioned, the use of the neutral pronoun didn't go unnoticed.

"…. Yes" Jane replied slowly, her eyes finally looking up at her mother's reaction, "their eyes."

A flicker of sadness passed over the matriarch's face but it was replaced quickly with a smile. Deep down she knew this conversation was coming, but it felt completely different living through it.

"Are you happy baby?" Angela asked sincerely.

"Yeah Ma, I'm happy." Jane could feel her eyes stinging as tears threatened to fall. That was enough for the matriarch to envelop her only daughter into a crushing hug.

"I love you, no matter what." She whispered, kissing the top of her daughter's unruly curls.

As Angela left the room, giving her daughter some space. Jane took out her phone and sent a long-awaited message to Riley who'd been pressuring her for some time to come out to her parents.

'My Ma knows Riley… I feel like a huge weight has been lifted."

"That's great Jane. Reckon they would want to meet me now?"

"I don't know… maybe my Ma would, but I don't know if my Pop would be as open to it. It's still early days."

"Oh… well I don't know how you're meant to be yourself Jane if you can't even mention me or invite me over. You know how I feel about this."

"We've had this conversation Riley. I live at home I can't just do what I want, I still respect my Ma and Pop."

"I don't know why, they don't respect you."

Jane let out a frustrated growl, here Riley goes again.

"That's enough. They love me. If you love me like you say you do, you would support me and be patient."

"And if you loved me, you'd be honest with your parents. You're such a child Jane, I don't know if I cope with these mood swings much longer."

"Mood swings? Fuck you Riley. Fuck you for making me feel so safe one minute and worthless the next."

R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I

Jane was brought out of her thoughts by the sound of students moving through the halls, she knew she had to make a choice quickly. The words from her last malicious argument with Riley still echoing in her mind. If she turned left and exited the gym, she would be choosing Maura. The beautiful, intelligent, beyond glamorous, doctor that could potentially be the one. But they had only kissed once, they had only known each other for a short while and had no idea if these feelings, no matter how strong they were, were anything more than a lustful infatuation.

On the other hand, if she turned right, it was Riley. The athletic and muscular, dominating and sexy, sports coach who she had fallen head over heels for over a year ago before she was her teacher. The woman who had broken her heart for the first time. Unfortunately for Jane, someone who she still had feelings for, no matter how hard she tried not to. Riley was right in that sense, she did love the touches and the relationship the two women still had, the fun and the 'harmless' flirting that still happened between the two on and off the pitch. It reminded her of the relationship they could have had, was it still possible? Would Jane want it to be possible? It would be so easy to turn to her right, slip into the showers and fall back into her ex-lover's arms. That's what she knew and it was comforting. However, Jane knew the second she gave Riley her attention, it would open up a lot of hurt that she knew she couldn't deal with again.

Taking out her phone, she texted Frost to meet her on the bleachers as soon as he could. If they skipped English first period, it wouldn't be of any consequence. Miss Mills only read to them from her own favourite novels anyway, most of which Jane had already read. Moving forward with more confidence, she pushed the gym doors open with both hands.

Jane Rizzoli had chosen to turn left.

Frost had beaten Jane to the bleachers, as he was worried about his best friend's disappearance act this morning. Watching Jane appear out of the side doors to the gym, he was shocked to see how pale Jane was.

"Jane you okay?" he called out.

She looked up and could only shake her head. "Frost, I don't even know what just happened."

Climbing up onto the seats next to him, Jane proceeded to tell Frost everything that had happened with Riley, knowing he was the only one she could trust.

"The fuck do I do?"

"Fucked if I know."

"That's really helpful, thank you." Jane said sarcastically, the pair couldn't help but laugh at the comment and at her situation. What was she even meant to do now?

"You know Frost, before I met Maura, I would have given pretty much anything to be with Riley again. But looking back, I remember the fights and the insane jealousy, and how small I felt. No matter how good it felt to you know, 'be with her', it didn't outweigh all of that. We'd fight like crazy then she'd turn up and flirt her way out of everything, because she knew I couldn't say no." Jane hung her head in her hands, not believing what she put herself through last year.

"Yeah, you were pretty out of it last Easter, I just wish I knew why so I could have been more helpful." Frost put his arm around his best friend's shoulders. She leaned into him for a moment and then shrugged off his arm playfully.

"I know man I'm sorry. I just didn't know how to tell you. How could I? When I found out she was going to teach here, it was just… crazy. She turned crazy. It wasn't worth it anymore."

"You mean, the hot didn't rule out the crazy?" Frost replied sceptically.

"What?"

"You know Jane, the crazy/hot scale? The hotter the girl, the crazier she is. You've just gone against the scale my friend."

"Well if Riley is too crazy for me, look at how gorgeous Maura is. How insane is she really going to be?"

"She's risking her career to see what happens, with you of all people." Frost chuckled, elbowing Jane playfully, "I'd say she's definitely insane."

"I was meant to go over there tonight… but after today I don't think anything physical would be a great idea."

"Maybe just go over and talk you know, find out more about the woman! Be realistic, you've still only known her just under two weeks." Looking up, Frost saw some freshmen coming out onto the field, the caramel skinned Riley Cooper leading them in a lap around the perimeter (Jane was pleased to see she was now fully dressed).

"Ah shit, Coach is coming out with her second period class, we better go." Frost jumped up, pulling the thinner Italian with him. Riley saw something move out of the corner of her eye, but when she looked over at the bleachers, no one was there. "Skivers" she thought to herself, "always on my damn field."

"Least we've got the doc now, right?" Frost asked, knowing the mention of Jane's favourite teacher might perk her up, as they made their way back through the crowded halls.

"Yeah… I'm nervous Frost. I can't believe I've just admitted that to you but yeah…"

Watching Jane squirm was usually fun to watch as she hated talking about her emotions, but Frost could see the turmoil on her face as he watched every single one of her emotions battle for attention.

"Come on, high school isn't meant to make you think this much Rizzoli. You might as well be taking those extra classes Principal Korsak wanted you to take this year."

A/N: Italics are either flashbacks or thoughts, as always I own no rights to anything, just using the characters to fuel my rekindled love of writing.

This chapter was initially longer, but I've broken it up into two parts which means another chapter is coming tomorrow!

Also, Couch to 5k is real and is such a good motivational podcast run by the wonderful NHS.

Hope you're all having a good 2019!