"Ok, this is just painful," Alex said as she watched Lena and Kara walk down the street, holding hands.
"For real. How are two people so gay without realizing it?" Sam agreed, watching the same thing Alex was.
"And you think that even if they somehow didn't know, someone else would tell them," Maggie said. At the moment, all three of them were chilling at one of National City's parks. Ruby had come with them, though she was presently off playing with some of her other friends. Lena and Kara had come along for the day at the park, but eventually branched off to spend some quality time alone.
"And yet that somehow doesn't register with either of them," Alex shook her head as Kara and Lena vanished around the bend. The two were clearly head over heels for one another, Kara always bringing Lena food and standing up for her in times of trouble and Lena always giving Kara Seduction Eyes and calling her "my favorite", yet both were somehow firmly locked in the belief that it was all only platonic. Alex had lost count of how many times Kara and Lena both referred to each other as "friend". Despite all the romantic things they did for one another, neither Lena nor Kara seemed aware how gay it looked. Somehow, they were entirely convinced that their love for one another was totally platonic. Because yeah, buying your friend a company and filling her office with flowers, or protecting her even when all evidence points against her is totally platonic. But no, somehow, Kara and Lena were both fully convinced that they were both straight and in a platonic friendship.
"Should we tell them?" Sam asked, still looking at the corner Lena and Kara had disappeared around.
"Nah, it would be more fun to wait," Alex answered. Although it was painful for her to see Lena and Kara giggling like schoolgirls, only to casually call each other "friend" all the time (and even "sister", horrible as that had been), she was honestly, at this point, wanting to just let things unfold naturally. She now wanted to see how long Lena and Kara were going to stay oblivious before it finally hit them over the head that they were in love. She was even considering starting a bet with the others on how long it was going to take for Kara and Lena to put two and two together.
"Are you sure?" Maggie asked. "Because it is really frustrating to see them as just gals being pals."
"Oh I agree entirely, but it's also hilarious," Alex said and, right at that moment, Kara and Lena came back into sight. Both of them were laughing and Kara now had her arm wrapped around Lena's waist.
"That is the gayest thing I've ever seen," Sam said as she watched Kara and Lena come back around the bend. At one point, Kara paused to pick a nearby flower, and then she handed it to Lena, who smiled at it.
"Correction. That is the gayest thing you've ever seen," Alex snorted. Kara and Lena would be the people to get married and, on their wedding day, insist it was a platonic marriage, or some crap like that. Or they would be tricked into a wedding and honest-to-god think it was some sort of friendship ceremony. And that was the saddest and funniest part about all of this: both of them would be totally serious about their platonic love for one another. The two of them were honestly sure that they only shared a platonic relationship. They weren't the queer women who were in the closet, they were the queer women who weren't even aware that there was a closet. Or that they were queer. They were both totally and sincerely convinced that they were only just friends and Alex didn't know if the thought made her want to laugh or cry.
"Oh, no, wait. That's the gayest thing we've ever seen," Maggie interrupted Alex's amused thoughts. Lena had just pecked Kara on the cheek and Kara had give her a gushy laugh in response before nuzzling her right back.
"Oh my god, if they still try and insist they're straight after this..." Alex began, burying her face in her hand in disbelief.
"What happened to just letting it unfold?" Sam teased.
"It's not worth it!" Alex pretended to be in agony. "Someone has to tell them! I can't take the queerbaiting!"
"Well, you know if you try and tell them, they'll have no idea what you're talking about," Maggie said.
"Don't remind me," Alex replied, groaning through her hand. In the distance, Kara and Lena were still grinning like idiots at each other. Sam and Maggie cast each other amused looks while Alex only rolled her eyes again.
A few hours later, the gang had all gone out for dinner.
"So, how was your day with your friends?" Sam asked Ruby. Ruby launched into a long and excited story in reply, but once it was all said and done, Sam turned the question to Lena and Kara.
"Oh, our day was just fine!" Lena answered with a smile.
"Just a good day out with your gal-pal?" Sam asked with a sly smile. It was an insinuation lost upon Kara and Lena.
"Exactly," Kara nodded, throwing an arm around Lena with a proud smile. "We pretty much just walked and talked, but when you're best friends, that can be more than enough to keep you entertained!"
"Agreed!" Lena smiled fondly at Kara, and Kara smiled back. Alex took a long sip of her drink while Maggie stared hard at the table and Sam bit back a laugh. None of them had ever met so oblivious a couple as these two, but maybe that was why they were a couple, because both of them were the most useless and clueless queers to ever walk the Earth. They were certainly well-matched.
AN: Here's the unplanned third chapter wherein BOTH Lena and Kara are oblivious, much to everyone else's despair and amusement.