A/N: There's a song you might like to listen to in the early part of the chapter. It's from the movie "The Neverending Story". You'll know when to listen. Here's the link: youtube watch?v=X2muPtWsKi4
6 – Envy Green
"What would an ocean be without a monster lurking in the dark? It would be like sleep without dreams."
― Werner Herzog
...
My eyes are shut tightly as I'm waiting for the inevitable impact. But surprisingly it never comes. I continue to fall, wondering if I'm ever going to hit the ground, when something soft as a feather touches my cheek. Finally opening my eyes, I glance to the left. There's an owl beside me. Snow white feathers spread out to the sides. Is the owl smiling at me? I shake my head to clear it. The owl looks familiar… startlingly so.
"Spread out your wings, child. This is still a dream," the voice of the little girl advises. But she is nowhere in sight. Then it dawns on me. It's the owl that has talked to me! And then another realisation hits me. The owl looks just like…
"Hedwig?" The sound of chirpy laughter fills my head. Is she speaking through her mind?
"Took you long enough."
"But – how is that – I mean you're an – how can you – I don't understand – what?" It's not my most shining moment. The owl – Hedwig – flies a circle around me. That's when I realise that I'm not falling any longer. I'm floating now, caught somewhere between falling and flying.
"Did you think owls can't dream? Or even speak?" Hedwig asks, sounding offended.
"No! I – It's just..." But the owl is right, of course. That's exactly what I thought.
"Why did you transform into a little girl?" I ask. It's a pretty weak attempt to change the subject. Hedwig rolls her eyes. It's as if she can see right through me.
"Why not? This is a dream. I could also turn into a dragon, if I wanted." Strangely enough this makes sense. But why would she –
Merlin's magical underpants! There is a gigantic, white dragon next to me! It's not the kind of dragon you see in the books about magical creatures. It doesn't even have wings. It's long, almost like a snake and… kind of furry. It somehow looks really familiar.
"You're a luckdradon!"
"You did watch that film an awful lot, when you were younger." Hedwig, in the form of a luckdragon, grins widely now. She clearly enjoys how much her appearance is baffling me. She flies another circle around me and I follow her movements with my eyes. Then I make the mistake of looking down. The Hogwarts grounds are far down below us. The sight makes me feel dizzy. This is only a dream but… what would happen if I actually hit the ground? As soon as I think it, I feel myself falling again. Damn. The ground is approaching fast until –
I land on top of something soft and fluffy. Hedwig. She saved me. And as if it could not get any more surreal than this I suddenly hear a very familiar melody that seems to come from everywhere around us.
"This is the song that plays when Bastian rides on the back of the luckdragon!" I exclaim, before breaking out into uncontrollable laughter. I can't believe this is really happening! Hedwig, the luckdragon, just grins smugly.
"You know, Simon would be so jealous, if he knew about this."
"Shall I pay him a visit tomorrow night?"
"No. I want to see his face. Let's go together, next time." I really don't want to miss my brother's reaction!
"All right," Hedwig agrees. We fly through the night sky above the clouds for a bit longer in companionable silence. It would be nice if we could just keep flying like this forever. We could leave the disappointing reality behind and never look back. I wouldn't have to wake up and deal with everything that is waiting for me once I open my eyes. I don't want to wake up.
"This dream won't last forever, child," Hedwig whispers almost as if she heard my thoughts.
"I know," I mumble into the fluffy fur of her neck. It's warm and soft here. Too comfortable to be real.
"You might as well tell me what has you so worried."
"Who says, I'm worried?" The last thing I want to do now is ruining this pleasant dream by dragging my mess of a life into it.
"You forget that I have known you since you were a tiny fledgling. I can tell when something bothers you."
I hum non-commitally but don't say anything else. If I just pretend long enough that there is nothing to say, she might leave the matter alone. For a few seconds it seems like my strategy is working but then the world suddenly turns upside-down. My arms tighten around Hedwig's neck, purely on reflex, which is the only thing that keeps me from falling into nothingness again.
"Hedwig!" I yell in exasperation. I can't believe this. She is flying with her back to the ground now. And her soft chuckling tells me that this is purely intentional.
"What is it, birdie?"
"Please, stop!"
"Stop, what?"
"Stop… I mean – fly normal again!" I know this is a dream and if I fall I probably won't be hurt but… this feels so real. The clouds are floating past us by but it's all wrong. I can't see the ground. And the sky… is it above us or below? My stomach churns uncomfortably.
"Hedwig, please!"
"Will you tell me what's on your mind?"
I don't even think before answering, "Yes! I'll tell you anything. Anything you want to hear. Just please!"
Before I can plead any more the world rights itself once more and I can finally relax.
"Why'd you do that?" I ask, as soon as I've caught my breath.
"You're changing the topic," Hedwig accuses. Her shiny claws click against one another in a way that seems almost impatient.
"Fine, I'll tell you. I'll tell you!" I really don't want to repeat the experience of flying upside-down. I take a deep breath in an attempt to brace myself for what I am about to say. But… what am I going to say? Where should I start?
"Umm… so, do you know that – that blond Slytherin in our year?" I can't bring myself to actually say his name.
"You mean that human who always walks around looking like he only ever catches rats instead of delicious little mice?"
What in Merlin's name-? "Hedwig, what–?"
"That arrogant eagle owl always carries out packages and letters for him."
"So, you know him?" There is only one person at Hogwarts who owns an eagle owl. That I know of. Malfoy, of course. He is such a show-off.
"What about him? Did he ruffle your feathers again?" Hedwig asks and before I can think of an answer she starts to laugh. "That's a funny expression, really," She adds, once she has calmed down a bit. Who would have thought that Hedwig had a fondness for lame puns. But wait… what did she say just now? Again?
"Hedwig," I begin suspiciously. "What do you mean did he ruffle my feathers again?"
"Well, you're not exactly best pals, are you?" She deflects.
"You knew that he always harrasses me?"
Hedwig rolls her eyes, "Of course. I am an owl after all."
She has a point there. "Fair enough."
"So, what about that little worm?" Hedwig asks, making a left turn. I giggle. Worm seems like a fitting expression.
"He – I mean, I – I went into his dream… I… I wanted to find out why… why he always picks on me. Or at least… find a way to stop him." And I've accomplished none of that. How disappointing.
"I see." Hedwig hums thoughtfully. "What did you find out?"
I bury my face in the thick fur again. My cheeks are burning. This is so embarrassing. Do I really have to say it all out loud?
"He's… he's really different in his dreams."
"Different? How so?"
"I think he… that one time he dreamed of me… and he… he was really different…"
I hear the impatient clicking of Hedwig's claws again. She's not going to throw me off, if I don't tell her the rest, is she?
i hastily continue, almost stumbling over the words, "I – I think that – if it were any one but Malfoy – if it were any one else, I'd think – that he – that he has a c-crush o-on me." My confession is followed with silence. I feel sweaty and tingly all over. It's too hot and I think I'm really going to be sick this time around. Might this have something to do with the pinkish clouds we're flying through now? Wait… why are the clouds pink in the first place? And why is Hedwig grinning like this? No more than a second later, she bursts into roaring laughter. Good thing, I wasn't utterly confused before.
"You're not supposed to laugh at me!" I hear myself whine indignantly. "I know, it sounds ridiculous but… that's what it looked like, okay?"
"No need to fly off the handle, birdie," Hedwig snorts. Is she going to keep making these bad jokes? "So, you think the boy has the hoots for you?" The owl-turned-luckdragon asks with a grin. I have to admit that was kind of funny. This is serious, though. I have to keep that in mind. I bite my lips and nod in confirmation.
"And what do you plan to do with that information?" She asks, still chuckling softly.
"Well, I… I thought I could blackmail him… so that he will stop tormenting me." It sounds kind of lame phrased like that. "That's at least what mum suggested..."
"I see." Hedwig sounds awfully sceptical.
"Do you… not think that will work?"
She doesn't answer right away. And when she does, her tone is hesitant… thoughtful. "I think… you should… confirm your assumption first."
"Huh?" I can't shake the feeling that she knows more. That she's hiding something.
"Wouldn't it be embarrassing if you tried to blackmail him and then it turns out that… what you saw was no more than a dream?"
"Exactly! That's what I thought, too," I agree. It's a thought that I cling to with almost painful determination. It's a much more bearable thought than the alternative.
"So confirm it," Hedwig advises once more.
"But… how do I confirm it?"
"Well, you could kiss him. If he kisses you in return he probably likes you and if he hexes you… he probably doesn't."
"I'm not going to kiss that jerk! Ew!" The mere thought is enough to make me shudder. "I don't care if it's just within a dream. There has to be another way."
We're flying across a deep green forest. The sight is beautiful but I can't appreciate that now.
"Oh, you'd have to do it in the real world, of course. If you want to be really sure."
"Never. Ever." I growl with a grimace.
"Hm… then you could… I don't know… what do they always do in the romantic movies? Hold hands? Sing him a song? Or… look deep into his eyes?" Hedwig flies lower until her claws lightly graze the treetops. "What do I know? Pick one."
"But – you're an owl. You know things. Can't you just find out for me?"
Hedwig chuckles softly and suddenly I can't see the trees any more. There is only the dark blue night sky around us. But it's illuminated by little twinkling stars. Thousands of them.
"There are some things that we can only find out on our own." There is a hidden glint in Hedwig's eyes that I can't quite place but I'm almost sure now that she knows more than she's letting on.
"But–" I want to protest but Hedwig interrupts me.
"It's time to wake up now," she says. I can't explain how it happened exactly but I'm standing on the window sill of my dorm again. Next to me stands the girl from before. Hedwig. She smiles at me in an encouraging way. I stumble backwards and not a second later find myself on the hard ground in the middle of the dream corridor. I'm alone now. And more confused than ever.
ooo
Later, when Haley woke up, she wondered why the window was open. A soft breeze was washing into the room, blowing up the curtains around her bed. And on her chest, she found a single, white feather.
...
The next morning passed by in a blur. Haley felt even more tired than she had the day before. She slept through most of her morning classes and during Divination she broke almost half of Professor Trelawney's tea cups because she walked headlong into the cupboard. Well, thanks to her clumsy little brother she at least knew a good charm to make them whole again.
"Are you sure, you don't want to go to the hospital wing?" Ron asked for the fourth time as they made their way down to the Great Hall for lunch.
"I'm not sick," Haley answered impatiently, "I'm just a bit tired. That's all."
Ron sighed. "If you say so," he muttered. They had reached the end of the stairs now. "Look at that git," Ron continued distastefully, "The way he prances about the hall, you might think he owns the place."
Haley followed his gaze and sure enough there he was. Draco Malfoy. He was leading a group of Slytherins toward the Great Hall like they were his entourage. Haley wondered whether it was all a big show. In his dream last night his housemates hadn't been that supportive. More the opposite really. But here he was, confident as ever. She couldn't stand him. And the thought that he dreamed about her in such intimate ways made her feel so angry and disgusted, she wanted to–
"We should really use that prank book you got from your dad, don't you think? Just to scare him a bit. I mean, we won't tell Hermione, of course. Let's do that, eh?"
Haley found herself nodding without even thinking about it. If anyone deserved a bit of a scare it was sodding Malfoy. And she liked that idea much better than the thing Hedwig had suggested.
"Come on, then," Haley said cheerfully, as she walked past the doors, leading to the Great Hall.
"Wait, where are you going? The Great Hall is that way!"
"Well, we're heading to the library, of course. We can't come up with a plan when Hermione's right there and Malfoy watching from across the hall."
Ron seemed disappointed. He looked back toward the Great Hall longingly. "But… you know… won't Hermione be suspicious if we don't turn up for lunch?"
He had a point there. "Right. So… let's do it this way. I'm going to head to the library and you go and tell Hermione… I don't know, tell her I forgot something in Trelawney's classroom or something." Haley shrugged. "I'm gonna start browsing through the book and tell you about it later. How's that sound?"
Ron nodded enthusiastically. Did that boy ever think about anything beside food?
"Yeah, let's do it that way," he agreed with a grin. He turned toward the Great Hall, but hesitated to actually take a step toward it. "But… are you sure you're not hungry?"
Haley smiled. His concern was kind of sweet. "It's okay. I can always go down to the kitchens later on."
"Right," Ron agreed, sounding relieved. "I'll see you for Care of magical Creatures!"
And with that he made his way toward the Great Hall. Haley shook her head in amusement and walked down the hall that lead to the library.
...
The letters on the page were starting to blur. What was it? A Singing Hex? No, it said Stinging Hex. Haley turned the page. Goblin Weed? What was that good for? There was a funny sketch of a dancing goblin below the text. Had Sirius drawn that? She turned another page. Elphaba Berries. No, Elpha Berries. What did they do?
Commonly used for permanently colouring... as green as a shamrock... Haley blinked, trying to read the rest of the information on the page. But she could barely keep her eyes open. It was a good thing that she was sitting down. Otherwise she might have collapsed on the spot. For a moment she let her head sink onto her arms that were resting on the table. In front of her was her prank book and as it seemed she was the only person in the library. Beside Madame Pince anyway.
"Do you think sleeping will make you pretty?" Asked a voice quietly. "You know, beauty sleep doesn't work for anyone."
Haley tensed. She knew that voice all too well. Since when was he here? She raised her head slowly, blinking up at the boy who was sitting in the chair opposite her. "Go away," she mumbled tiredly.
"Now, Potter, where are your manners?" Malfoy tsked lowly. She tried to glare at him. But she was too tired to do even that.
"There's something on your face," the Slytherin informed her as he reached across the table and brushed his thumb against her cheek. Was this a dream? Haley wasn't sure. But it felt different from a dream. Malfoy seemed different. He was smirking at her. But not in a particularly warm or friendly manner. What was going on then?
His thumb was scratching across her cheek and it was only then that Haley noticed he was wearing gloves. Why was he wearing gloves in the library? And it also smelled funny. Kind of sweet and fruity... She felt the urge to slap his hand away. But as she was raising her hand, she heard Hedwig's voice in her head.
So, confirm it, the voice whispered. Confirm it… Right. This was the perfect chance. What had she said again? She should hold his hand? Just as Malfoy was removing his hand from her face, Haley caught it in mid-air and almost slammed it against the table. Her sudden movement caused him to jerk backwards in surprise.
"Potter, what are you-?"
But Haley wasn't done with him. She leaned across the table until there were only inches between their faces. Trying not to blink, she looked right into his eyes.
"What on earth, are you doing, Potter?"
It could have been uncomfortable. But Haley was tying so hard to see anything special in his eyes that she didn't register much else.
"Potter, you're crushing my fingers! Are you mad?" He exclaimed and tore his hand and eyes away from her. He didn't look flustered or seem affected by her at all.
"I was just – I mean – I..." Well, so much for Hedwig's clever plan. Malfoy watched her like she had gone crazy. But wait… wasn't that a faint blush she spotted on his cheeks? She shook her head. No, it was probably just the light. She lowered her eyes in embarrassment, causing them to land on her book once more.
Elpha Berries, she read and felt her eyelids droop again. No! She couldn't fall asleep now. Not now! Not… With a soft clonk her head fell to the table. The last thing she remembered was soft fingers, lifting her chin and then she felt something like a soft cloth against her cheek.
"It's too bad," whispered a voice close to her face, in a tone that was tinged with remorse. But maybe that was just her imagination.
...
Haley woke up to the sound of voices.
"She's here! I told you, she was in the library!" That was Ron.
"Where?" Hermione's worried voice asked.
"Here, in the Herbology section."
The voices became louder.
"Thank Merlin, I thought – but you said she forgot something in the divination class room – this is already the second time! What if it's something serious? Ronald, you really shouldn't have left her alone when she was like this."
"What? Now it's my fault? She said she wasn't sick, okay? She said it herself!"
"And you believed her of course."
"Why the bloody hell shouldn't I?"
When Hermione let out a dangerous growl, Haley decided it was time for her to get involved.
"I'm fine. There's no need to get into a fight because of me." She lifted her head from where it had been resting on her arms and looked at her two friends in a way that was meant to be assuring.
For a long moment the two did nothing but to stare at her in bewilderment. What was wrong? Did she look funny because she had just taken a nap? Did she have a weird imprint on her face?
"Your face!" Hermione exclaimed at the same time as Ron shrieked, "You're green!"
"I'm what?"
"Look at your hands!"
Haley took a look at her hands. They were completely green. Wait… her hands were green? She hastily pushed up her sleeves only to discover that the colour went all the way up her arms. "What in Merlin's name?" She shrieked, absolutely horrified.
"Blimey," Ron commented, whistling lowly. "Look at your face."
"My face?" Haley echoed, scrambling for her bag and frantically looking for the tiny mirror she always kept in her bag. Where was it? Where was it? Where – there, it was. With trembling fingers she snapped open the mirror and held it up in front of her face… with her eyes closed. Ever so slowly she opened one eye and then the second.
"No… no, no, no, no, no – this isn't me!" She yelled at the mirror, snapping it shut forcefully. The skin on her face was completely green as well. She looked at her reflection again and began rubbing the green skin furiously. It was no use. She spat on the seam of her sleeve and rubbed it over her arm. The skin stayed green.
"It's not coming off," Haley whined, feeling close to tears. Why did these things keep happening to her?
"Calm down," Hermione whispered soothingly, "let's go see Madame Pomfrey. I'm sure she can help you, all right?"
She took Haley's hand gently, stopping her friend from rubbing her skin raw.
Haley nodded. "Okay," she whispered dejectedly.
"Hermione!" Ron exclaimed all of a sudden, "Your hand..."
"What...?" Hermione's eyes widened, as she lowered her eyes to her hand. Where her hand was touching Haley's it was starting to turn green as well. She pulled her hand away so quickly, Haley almost didn't see the movement.
"Oh no! It's contagious," Hermione said, she sounded kind of fascinated but also appalled. "What kind of spell is this? It doesn't hurt…"
"Malfoy did it," Haley realised. Really, it was so obvious. "He was here, I think, before I fell asleep. I thought it was a dream first but… He must have hexed me then."
"That slimy son of a–"
"Ron!"
"What? He is a slimy little rat, he is! He deserves to be called much worse!"
"We're still in the library. Madame Pince will throw us out!"
"So what? Look at what he's done to Haley! Look at what he's done to you! We have to do something to make him stop once and for all."
"And what do you suggest, Ronald?"
"The prank book from Haley's dad. We should use it. Haley thinks so, too, don't you, Haley?"
The green-skinned girl looked from one of her friends to the other. Then she looked down at the table where said prank book lay. Where it was supposed to lie. It wasn't on the table. A dark foreboding feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. She fetched her bag and emptied all that was inside onto the table. There was her hairbrush, books, her quill, parchment, owl treats, more books… but not the book she was looking for.
She shook her head. "It's gone."
"What do you mean it's gone?" Ron asked.
"I can't find it. I had it with me before. But… it's not here any more."
"Hermione, did you-?"
"I did not take the stupid prank book, Ronald!" Hermione hissed. Her other hand was starting to turn green as well.
Then Haley realised another blatantly obvious thing. "Malfoy has it."
The words left everyone in stunned silence.
"Well, shit." Ron muttered, putting it bluntly.
"This is a library! How dare you disturb the peaceful silence with these dirty words!" Madame Pince shrieked. She had appeared out of nowhere and only seconds later she shooed them almost violently out of the library.
...
Haley stayed in the hospital wing for two days. Technically, she didn't have to stay there but she was too embarrassed to leave and have the other students see her green face. Hermione left already on the first day, seeing as the colour hadn't fully spread on her skin and she was eager to attend classes again. Her and Ron came to visit her, bringing her homework and telling her everything else she missed. Once, Neville came by as well. He brought her a small bouquet of strange flowers he had sneaked from the green houses. It had been really sweet of him but Haley couldn't even properly thank him because she had hidden her green face behind the curtains around her bed during his whole visit.
Aside from these visits she had slept most of the time. She hadn't realised how much her body had needed to rest. Before going to sleep Haley had decided not to visit the dream corridor for one or two nights. She was so mad at Malfoy that she thought she might have killed him if she'd seen him. Even if it was just his dream-self. And she hadn't wanted to face Hedwig either. The owl would only start asking her stupid uncomfortable questions again.
After sleeping normally for two nights in a row, she felt refreshed and light. Her mum would be proud. It seemed things were looking up. But there was still the problem with Malfoy. He had her prank book now. So she couldn't use it against him any more. Even if she somehow got it back, he probably knew all about the different pranks and also how to reverse them by now. The way it seemed, she couldn't get at him in the real world. So, maybe there was really no other way but to… come at him in his dreams. What other options did she have? She would simply have to try harder.
So, the night after her skin had returned to its normal colour and she could finally sleep in her own bed again, she took Malfoy's gobstone pendant out of her drawer and wrapped it around her wrist. As she lay there with her eyes closed, she realised that she didn't really have a plan. How was she going to get back at the annoying Slytherin? Well, she would just have to make something up as she went. Perhaps his dream would inspire her.
ooo
Playing the song on Malfoy's guitar gets easier every time I do it. This time I even get it right on the first try. Myron Wagtail nods approvingly and even claps his hands a few times. If that's not a good sign I don't know what is. I feel strangely giddy at the prospect of what I'm about to do. After setting down the guitar, I lower my head in a mocking bow. I can't wait to make Malfoy suffer the way he made me. This will be so good! Before opening the door, I send an excited grin Myron's way. Then I open the door and slip through it.
The first thing I notice once I'm in Malfoy's dream is the darkness. Well it's not pitch black but certainly darker than inside the dream corridor. The place – or room, I can't really tell – is bathed in gloomy blue light, ranging from midnight to ocean blue.
Upon closer look, the different colours seem to originate from countless, different sized balloons that are slowly floating around. The way they are floating they resemble fish, weightlessly drifting through water. Inside the balloons there seems to be some sort of light that's giving off soft glows of blue.
It could look pretty but there is a strange coldness that enfolds the whole space like a blanket of ice. It makes me shiver. Am I alone in this dream? But that's not possible, is it? I mean… Malfoy has to be here, somewhere, right? As I walk further into the space, a sense of loneliness and sadness overcomes me. Those aren't my own feelings, are they? I rub my arms, in an attempt to stay warm.
Wait, didn't I hear a voice just now? I stop to listen closely. Yes, that was definitely a voice. Two voices if I'm correct. An indigo blue balloon the size of a carriage floats past me, making me shiver again. Does the cold emanate from these balloons? What would happen if I touched one of them? There is a figure somewhere in front of me. Is it Malfoy? I take a few steps toward the figure – it's a boy – but before I can reach him he jumps on one of the balloons, standing on top of it.
"How pathetic. No wonder nobody loves you," the boy purrs in a voice that is shockingly familiar. Neville? Is that really Neville's voice? I walk a bit closer so I can get a better look at him. Straw blond hair and a round kind face. It's Neville. But right this moment he doesn't look kind at all.
"How could you ever think she might like you?" He continues in a more than slightly mocking tone. Who is he talking to? I follow Neville's gaze toward a boy that is slumped on the floor, hugging his knees to his chest and burying his face in his arms. All that is visible of his head is his strikingly, white blond hair…
"Someone like you… You're so pathetic," he spits. "You can't even deny it! She doesn't like cowards like you. You're weak and useless and–"
"Stop! Stop it!" The boy yells unexpectedly and lifts his head. His face is a contorted mask of pain.
I gasp audibly. I try to stifle it but it seems neither of the two boys have noticed me. It's Malfoy. Malfoy is the one that's being put down by Neville… I can't believe this!
"You'll be alone forever. She will never look at you the way she looks at me," the Neville doppelgänger continues to taunt him.
"No! Stop it! Shut up!" Malfoy hisses angrily, getting to his feet in one quick move.
Neville raises an eyebrow challengingly. "Oh, now it's starting to get interesting. How are you going to stop me?"
Malfoy takes out his wand and points it at Neville. That one gesture causes Neville to start chuckling amusedly. It sounds uncharacteristically cruel. He doesn't look the slightest bit intimidated or frightened. I don't see his wand anywhere.
"Let's see who has the last laugh," the Slytherin says in reply. He seems surprisingly determined.
For a second everything seems frozen like in a muggle photograph. I don't know what to feel. Or who I want to win this fight.
"Stupefy!" Malfoy yells and I fight the urge of calling out to Neville telling him to watch out. He doesn't move an inch. I blink in confusion. He didn't move because there had been no spell coming at him. No red sparks.
Malfoy glares at Neville angrily. "Stupefy!" He yells again. "Impedimenta!" But nothing happens still. Nothing except for Neville's increasing laughter. He spreads out his arms in a seemingly inviting manner. "Come on! Don't tell me that's all you've got," he taunts.
"Stupefy," the Slytherin shouts, sounding more and more exasperated. "Stupefy, stupefy – crucio!" Even though this is a dream, hearing the incantation of the Unforgivable curse makes me flinch. But luckily the wand still doesn't seem to work. I don't think I would have been able to stand there and watch Neville – or this distorted version of him – being tortured.
The laughter stops abruptly. "Now, that's just tasteless, don't you think?" Neville asks, as he jumps down from his balloon.
"Do not come closer," Malfoy orders in a voice that sounds close to panicked. He tightly grips the wand in both his hands. Neville marches on regardless of his words.
"I said don't!" Malfoy screeches. "Cruci–!" He breaks off before he can finish, looking at his hands in bewilderment. They're empty. His wand is gone. His gaze wanders up again until it lands on the wand that is lying there in Neville's open palm.
"Are you looking for this?" Neville asks with a smirk.
"Give it back!" Malfoy hisses, his face as white as chalk.
"No, I don't think so," the other boy purrs in a pitying tone. "You haven't earned it."
"I said give it back!"
"Come and get it yourself if you can. And if you cannot… well I always knew you were a failure. And the fun thing is that it's your own fault."
Malfoy opens his mouth to argue but he can't seem to find the right words. Something washes through the whole room like an invisible wave. A feeling? No. Different feelings. Humiliation, sadness, anger, frustration. Shame. Helplessness. Fear. I feel them as sharply as if they were my own. They strike a note somewhere deep inside of me. This is how I feel every time Malfoy finds a new way to torment me. I chance a look at him. He looks devastated.
"See? You don't even deny it," Neville says with a chuckle. "Look at you. Nobody could ever love someone like you. You're nothing but a pitiful little-"
"Leave him alone!" I surprise myself by striding over to the two boys and coming to a halt between them. I turn to face this bad copy of Neville and – for possibly the first time ever – find myself wishing he wasn't there. One second later he vanishes into thin air. Wait… did I do that? I turn around to look for him but there's no trace of the wannabe Gryffindor left.
It's just me… and Malfoy. Who's fixing me with a weary look. I didn't think this through. What in Merlin's name am I supposed to do now?
"I-" I start to say but the boy doesn't let me finish.
"Is it true?" He asks. His voice sounds hollow and lifeless. I look into his eyes but I'm not sure he's really there.
"Is... what... true?" I question nervously. He takes a step toward me, so he's standing right in front of me.
"What he said… That nobody could ever love someone like me. That… you could never-" He doesn't finish his sentence. His voice breaks on the last word, piercing like glass.
"Is it true?" He asks again more urgently. He suddenly grabs my shoulders. I can do nothing but stare into his intense grey eyes that look anxiously back at me. There's water pooling in his eyes. He blinks and the tears stream down his cheeks like tiny rivulets. Nothing has ever shocked me the way the sight of this crying boy is shocking me in this very moment. It looks so wrong. Like the world has turned upside-down.
"Is it true?" He asks another time, his voice shaky and desperate as he shakes me by the shoulders.
I shake my head absently but I'm not sure what it means. Whether it is an answer to his question or just an attempt at willing away this whole situation like one might shake off a disturbing thought.
Then without a warning, Malfoy's hands slip from my shoulders and he sinks to his knees, burying his face in his hands.
"Look, I-" I don't know what I'm trying to say but it doesn't matter much anyway. All of a sudden the ground starts to shake and everything starts to blur into a formless grey mass until it all just vanishes abruptly. When I say everything I'm not just talking about the blue balloons or the walls. The colours are gone, the noise is gone, the ground beneath me is gone. But I'm somehow not falling. I'm not standing either. Malfoy is gone. And I am the only thing that's left. Not even the dream door is anywhere in sight. It looks like I'm trapped here. It's just me, the nothingness and the unsettling memory of Malfoy's broken eyes.
…
A/N: Hello everyone! SO, now the angst begins... but it won't stay for long. What did you think? I'd love to hear any thoughts about the chapter :) How did you like Hedwig? I had so much fun writing her in the beginning of the chapter. You probably already guessed but Hedwig turned herself into the dragon from "The Neverending Story". I saw that movie as a child and it was awesome. But to be honest the book is so much better. Go read it :)
Fun fact: I actually once rode on the back of Falcor, the luckdragon. There is this puppet of him in the film studios in Munich, where you can sit on his back and they film you and you appear on a screen where it looks like you're actually flying. Quite cool. But the puppet is much more impressive in the movie than in real life.
The title is inspired by "Envy Green" by The Arcadian Wild. Such a cool song.
Have an awesome weekend and leave me your thoughts, Feather :)