Once upon a time, when she was a little girl, Hinata dared to dream.
Somewhere between the death of her mother and the abuse by her father, she lost that. She was told her dreams were silly. She was too weak, too useless, too much and not enough all at once.
She found the ability to dream again, years later, with Naruto.
He ignited her heart and made her dream.
Of a future. Of happiness. Of unconditional love.
But there's still that cloud of doubt that those who dashed her dreams before had left in her mind. That she wasn't worthy. That she'd ruin it.
Sometimes, she's scared that maybe all her future will ever be...is dreams.
'We found Jiraiya.'
Three words that she had desperately wanted to hear.
But not like this.
Never like this.
'Dead. They killed him.'
Hinata's fingers shake so much the buttons get pressed too many times. It takes her a couple of tries but she finally gets her response typed in. She's blinking furiously, her gaze flickering towards her apartment where inside Naruto was, waiting for her...they were going to watch a movie, eat some ramen, cuddle...and now…
'Paperwork is still in progress and warrants being slapped together-in the meantime, I need you to stay still and stay out of it. There's no telling what they'll do, especially now.'
He's worried about retaliation.
She's just worried about Naruto.
A sudden, terrible thought crosses her mind and she can't help but ask herself. How long…? What if her pressing for answers caused this? The question breaks over her and she can't finish that train of thought. Shikamaru isn't known as a genius for nothing, and as if he senses where she's already mentally going, he texts another message.
'He's been dead awhile. It's not because of anything you did.'
It's only a minor relief. He's still gone. Naruto will still be devastated.
Shikamaru doesn't give her details, but he tells her enough. It turns her blood to ice and breaks her heart. She tucks her chin and inhales, fighting tears. Argus nudges her hand.
Her phone vibrates again. 'Naruto's situation doesn't change. He stays put and out of trouble until it's over. Not much longer now.'
That's been the plan all along, hasn't it? Keeping him in the clear.
She nods her head, even though Shikamaru can't see her. 'OK'
He tells her that he'll be in touch with more details as soon as he has them. He re-emphasizes the need for caution. She's not stupid, she gets it. She'll stay home. She'll keep up the pretense.
She rubs her eyes hard. Argus nudges her again.
Her heart hammers in her chest.
She couldn't say that liked Jiraiya-not even remotely-but Naruto cared for him and Naruto had already had so much taken from him in his life...it wasn't fair. She didn't want him to hurt anymore. She thought she could protect him.
Maybe that was a silly dream, too.