14 – Not That Innocent

"He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it."
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

...

Something felt wrong when she woke up. Or not wrong but… different somehow. Unusual. The light was different. Softer and… her night stand was on the wrong side. Haley frowned, reaching for her glasses. At least they were on top of her drawer. She drew the curtains aside and climbed out of the bed. That's when she finally understood. She hadn't been sleeping in her bed after all. She had slept in Hermione's bed. How had that happened? And where was Hermione? Why hadn't she kicked her out of her bed?

She tapped over to her own bed only to find it empty as well. In fact, from the looks of it, the whole dorm was deserted. Her dormmates had probably already left for breakfast. Haley yawned. She must have been really out of it yesterday if she hadn't even been able to find her own bed. But then, she had been terribly tired. She hadn't even been able to walk back to her common room. But then how had she got there? Right. Somebody had carried her. She remembered that… But who…?

Haley's hand flew to her mouth in shock. Malfoy. Malfoy had carried her and before that…
She grimaced, clawing at her hair in utter horror. No, no, no. That couldn't –

With a thump she sank to the ground, letting out a horrified little scream.

How had that happened? She had kissed Draco Malfoy. No. Worse. She had had a bloody snogging session with that git. But how…?

"Shit, shit, shit," she whispered frantically, pressing her hands against her face. "It wasn't real. It was just a dream," she tried to convince herself. But there was no use. It hadn't felt like a dream. It had felt much more real. She even remembered what he had bloody smelled like! (The woods, mint and lavender.)

"Merlin, kill me now!" She wailed, wondering what had possessed her. What had she been thinking? She remembered not thinking much at all. And being immeasurably tired. That had to be it. She had not been in her right mind because of the sleep deprivation. And then Malfoy had challenged her. Asked her to prove… prove that he had a crush on her. And then she'd just…

"Ugh!" Why had she been that stupid? Would the problem be solved if she pretended it had never happened?

…

In the common room she was greeted by a couple of first and second years and Neville.

"You woke up." He said, smiling at her warmly. "I thought you'd turned into Sleeping Beauty or something." There was a tinge of worry to his voice.

"You got the 'beauty' part right," she replied cheekily, to assure him she was all right. "How long did I sleep?"

"Um," the boy took a look at his watch. "It's almost time for supper."

"Supper?" Haley exclaimed perplexedly. That meant she had slept for… at least twenty hours!

"Hermione said we should let you sleep." Neville replied almost defiantly. "That was okay… right?"

"I guess my body needed it." She snorted disbelievingly.

"Are you feeling better now?"

She nodded. "And you? What about your hand?"

"Oh. That's… healing." He grinned mechanically, hiding his hands behind his back. She wanted to press for more but before she could open her mouth he asked, "Are you hungry? We should head down for supper."

Haley gulped. She was hungry. But what if he was there as well? How was she supposed to act?

"Come on, I'm sure Hermione and Ron are back as well."

She looked at him in confusion.

"From Hogsmeade?" Neville reminded her.

"Right," she chuckled. "I forgot." She wondered how that had went. Her two best friends on their date. She grinned. Maybe she could intercept them in the Entrance Hall, convince them to come to the kitchens with her and wring out every last detail about their day. She wouldn't even have to enter the Great Hall for this. She could avoid him.

"Let's go then," Haley heard herself saying. That damn curiosity, she thought on their way out.

…

"Haley! You're awake! Are you okay? Do you feel better now?" Hermione ambushed her with a flood of questions as soon as she spotted her and Neville descending the stairs to the Entrance Hall.

"I'm fine," the girl answered, squeezing her friend's hand that was gripping her shoulder tightly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't stay with you. I wanted to, really. But then Neville offered to stay in the common room and one of the first years offered to check on you as well. That Creevey kid, I think she looks up to you or something. Anyway, I hope it was all right. I was so worried when I found you lying in my bed last night but all you did was sleep and since you've been sleeping so badly lately I thought, I should probably let you sleep it out. You're not mad at me, are you?"

"Hermione, breathe. Seriously. I'm all right. And I'm not mad. Just… needed to catch up on sleep."

"Right," Hermione sighed in relief. "Right." Her gaze lingered on her for another moment as if to make sure she was really okay. "Come on, then. Ron has already gone ahead." She rolled her eyes. Then she took Haley's arm and gently guided her past the other students toward the Great Hall.

Shit. She didn't want to go to the Great Hall. How could she escape this? Escape him?

Haley froze. There he was. Leaning against the wide door frame with his arms crossed lazily.

"Ah, Potter." He sounded bored but there was an underlying tension in his voice that Haley wasn't sure how to place. "If you," he cleared his throat. "If you have a moment." Hesitance. That was it… and… cautiousness?

Hermione looked from her to him slowly. Then she shot her a questioning look. "Haley?"

She bit her lips, trying to ignore the blush she felt creeping into her face. And weren't his cheeks reddening as well? Haley snorted. They had to look like two shy third years who were dancing around each other. A crowd of people was already forming around them, staring at them curiously. She reminded herself that she was the one in control here. She could handle this. Whatever he wanted to tell her. Sooner or later she would have to confront this anyway. It was best to just get that conversation out of the way, she decided.

She cleared her throat. "Sure. I might find a space for you in my busy schedule."

She turned around without another word, feeling at least a thousand pairs of eyes on her back as she walked down the corridor, no idea where she was even going. She heard a second pair of feet following behind her but she didn't dare turn around to check who they belonged to.

"Potter, where are you going?" He sounded slightly annoyed. Or impatient maybe. Haley spun around.

"I don't know," she admitted, not looking at him. It was less awkward that way.

The boy sighed. "Come. We can go in here."

There was movement. It seemed like he was reaching out to touch her but pulling back his hand in the last second. Instead, he walked ahead, leaving her to follow him into a room that looked suspiciously like their Charms class room. When the door closed behind her she felt as if she had walked right into a trap.

It was silent for what seemed like at least an hour. Or two. She didn't look at him. And she had the feeling that he wasn't looking at her either.

"So…" They both said at the same time, making this even more awkward.

"Um – you go first," Haley offered. She didn't even have an idea what she had been about to say.

"About yesterday," he whispered. He was half-sitting, half-leaning against one of the desks, while Haley's back was pressed to the wall opposite him, next to the door. Ready to bolt.

"I just wanted to say that..." He seemed to take a deep breath. The next words came out of him in a rush. "I don't know what I was thinking – I mean – we can just forget it. I know you're not exactly fond of me and you weren't even feeling well yesterday – I shouldn't have… let's just… pretend this never happened."

"What?" Haley finally looked at him, completely taken aback. She hadn't expected something like that. She hadn't expected him to be this… considerate.

The setting evening sun was giving him a strange glow – his white blond hair seemed gold – and bathing the room in a warm red light. His face didn't betray any emotion except for the slight crease between his brows. And he was worrying his lower lip, turning it an angry red. A sudden image flashed before her eyes. A memory. A memory of herself leaning into the boy and biting his lip just like he was doing at the moment. She stepped forward reflexively. His eyes widened only a fraction.

"Do you really want that?" She asked, the words slipping out of her mouth without her consent.

"I…" He shook his head. "I may not be a goody-good Gryffindor but I wouldn't… I'm not someone who would take advantage of another person like that."

"It wouldn't be taking advantage if said person was… not disinclined." What in Merlin's name was she even saying? She was taking another step toward him, noticing a flicker of doubt in his grey eyes.

He frowned, his mouth opening slightly. Those lips had felt so good on her own. Haley wondered if it had only seemed that way to her because of the foggy state of her sleep-addled mind. Or was it some kind of hate-attraction?

They were moving now. His lips. What was he saying?

"What are you saying?" He whispered. That's what I want to know, she thought, feeling her breathing pick up.

"You spelled me, didn't you? Admit it," she ordered. None of this made sense.

"Spelled… you?"

"Why else would I have kissed you?" She gave his shoulder a shove. "Why else would I have enjoyed it?"

"What…? You – you enjoyed it?"

"Of course I did." She shoved his other shoulder. "Do you think I would have let you kiss me like that if I hated it?" Was he daft?

He blinked at her in confusion. "I… but… you don't even like me. After all… everything I've done to you… how could you-"

He was right. She didn't like him. Was it hate-attraction, then after all? But she didn't hate him either. Hate was too strong a word. She didn't know what this was. Or what any of it meant. It didn't seem like she was the only one who felt like that. The boy in front of her didn't seem to understand either. He seemed lost somehow. Unusually uncertain. It was strange seeing him like this. He seemed almost insecure. As if he was the one at a disadvantage for a change. Which made her the one in control of the situation. Because she wasn't as emotionally invested in this. The realisation made a surge of confidence shoot through her body. It was a refreshing change from always feeling intimidated by him.

"I'm sure you had your reasons," she purred, trailing her fingers down his arm slowly. He shuddered visibly in response. The words were ridiculous, of course. He had been making her life hell for more than a year! But the words came to her like she was acting in a play and the prompter had whispered the lines into her ear. Lines that fit her new character and would put her fellow actor at ease.

He frowned. "Still, it was horrible what I did to you-"

"Sh," she shushed him, pressing two fingers against his quivering lips. They were warm and soft against her skin just as they had felt on her lips yesterday… "Everyone makes mistakes. But perhaps… you would like to make it up to me?" She didn't even know what it was that she was suggesting.

"How?" He finally asked, his voice trembling with eagerness and helpless desperation. "How can I make it up to you?"

Haley closed her eyes, trying to burn this moment into her memory. How can I make it up to you? He actually meant that. All this time she had suffered because of him and now? Why hadn't she played this card before? It felt exhilarating to be the one who pulled the strings for once. Victory really was sweet. She could barely suppress the urge to burst into triumphant laughter.

"Surprise me," she said with a shrug, running her thumb under his lower lip, before letting her hand drop.

Malfoy caught her wrist swiftly, pulling her close until their noses were almost touching. There was that scent again. It was different today though. They hadn't been in the woods. A mix of lavender and mint and the faint trace of sweat. It made her feel slightly dazed. She wondered if kissing him now would feel different than it had yesterday because she felt more awake now. There was a soft – barely there – brush of skin against hers. It sent a rush of pleasure up her spine, making the short hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Then it was gone. She opened her eyes, glancing at the boy who was watching her hesitantly.

"Is that… okay?" He asked, surprising her with his gentleness. Somehow it irritated her. He wasn't supposed to be gentle or… kind. He was only putting up an act. Just like her…

She scowled at him. "You'd notice if it wasn't." He was so annoying. "Stop wasting your breath." She closed her eyes, snaking her arm around his neck and pulled him forward. He didn't pull away this time. Had to be because she was that irresistible. She smirked against his mouth, catching his lower lip between her own lips and gently sucked on it.

He let out a soft whine, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her flush against him. It felt glorious. Like she was on fire, a thousand flames smouldering just below her skin. She forgot everything that wasn't him. Forgot who she was, to question this, to think, to breathe…

But breathing was important. She pulled away, filling her lungs with air that smelled of him, which made her want to bury her face in –

"Does that mean," he breathed. "Did you forgive me or–"

"No." She answered simply. She sighed. She wasn't going to lie to him. Too much. She doubted he would have believed her in the first place.

His arms which had been wrapped around her dropped to his side. Leaving her strangely cold.

"Everyone deserves a second chance." Said the new persona she had put on like a new dress. "What do you think?"

"You mean… we're just going to forget about…" He sounded sceptical.

"Everything besides this, yes." Lie, lie, lie. She would never forget how much of a prat he had been to her. But still, Haley placed her hand against his jaw and dropped another kiss on his lips.

He immediately closed his eyes, seeming almost dazed. Well, that was a feeling she could relate to.

"Okay," the boy whispered, nodding helplessly. It made her feel as if she had tricked a toddler into giving her his favourite teddy. Only she didn't intend to ever give it back. Not before it was torn to tiny pieces.

…

"So what did Malfoy want?" Hermione asked, the moment Haley stepped into the common room. Were those… sandwiches on the table? In a matter of seconds she had thrown herself onto the couch next to Ron, who seemed to be working on an assignment.

"Wow, slow down," Hermione admonished. "Are you that hungry?"

Haley nodded, reaching for one of the sandwiches and taking a huge bite. She hadn't eaten anything all day and supper had been over by the time they had reached the Great Hall.

"What has happened to you?" The brunette asked astounded, taking a proper look at her. "If I didn't know any better I would say…"

"You've been thoroughly snogged?" Ron completed her sentence helpfully.

Haley blushed. She shrugged non-commitally. "So?" There was nothing better than finally getting to eat something after eating nothing for hours.

Her friends shared an alarmed look over her head.

"But who…?" Hermione frowned, shooting her a sceptical glance. She looked around, as if trying to search for a person who might match her rumpled appearance. "You don't mean to say," she mumbled finally, her voice sinking to a whisper. "You didn't… you know… with Malfoy?"

"Have you gone mental?" Ron snorted, looking at Hermione as if she had indeed gone crazy. "All that studying must have finally messed with her brain." He whispered to Haley, elbowing her softly. Well, that was interesting. Actually, it wasn't unusual for Ron to talk to Hermione like that but she would have thought… after their Hogsmeade trip… that something might have changed. And there had been a slight edge to his voice. Had their date not gone well?

Haley silently kept munching on her sandwich. What would be a fitting response? She wondered how her new confident self would act. "Turns out, he's quite the kisser."

The silence that emerged then, seemed almost explosive.

"You're dating that git?"

"He didn't hex you, did he?"

"Did you forget what he's done to you?"

"It's because of that stone, isn't it?"

The questions were shot at her like spells. She couldn't even discern who of them had asked what.

"Calm done, guys. I didn't forget what he did."

"Then what the hell are you doing snogging him?" Ron demanded finally. She only grinned mysteriously. Let him make of that what he wanted to.

"I know what this is about," Hermione finally offered. Her voice sounded as sharp as a knife and her eyes were tiny slits, fixed on Haley. "Are you playing with his feelings? As punishment for what he's done to you?"

"His feelings?" Ron echoed in confusion.

Haley was shocked at the accusation. "You really think I would do something like this?" She snorted. "It's not like he wouldn't deserve it."

Hermione got up from her armchair. "How could you say something like this? He may be a git but he's still a person!"

"What, now you're siding with him?" She rose from her seat as well, glaring at the other girl angrily.

"This isn't about siding with him! I'm asking you to behave like a human!"

Haley gasped. "I'm the one not behaving like a human?" She was appalled. She hadn't even said she was playing with Malfoy and she hadn't planned to do that. Not really. She wasn't even sure what she was doing. But these accusations made her question whether it would actually be that wrong if she were planning to string the boy along. "He's been – nothing but a nightmare the last year. Do you know what it was like? Wondering what he might have planned to torment me every single day? Always anticipating another stupid prank with which he could humiliate me?"

In retrospect it hadn't been that bad. And lately, he had left her alone completely. But she was on a roll. And it irritated her that her friend accused her of being this horrible person. Perfect Hermione who never made mistakes with her perfect grades and her perfect morality perfectly in place.

She had just wanted her to be on her side. But she always had to question everything Haley did. "Would it be that wrong to have the feeling that I'm in control for once? To not have to feel on edge all the time?"

"I don't get it," Ron piped up before Hermione could answer. "What are we even talking about? Is Haley dating Malfoy? Or is she just pretending to like him to get back at him?" He looked back and forth between the two girls cluelessly.

"I am dating him," she spat defiantly. "I'm giving him a second chance. After all, I'm an actual human being," she glared at Hermione. "Not a monster." And with that, Haley shoved past the other girl and stalked toward the stairs leading to her dormitory. Everyone she passed, quickly made room for her and averted their eyes, pretending they hadn't eagerly watched the spectacle. Everyone except for a pair of sky blue eyes. Neville's eyes. There was a frown on his face. How much had he heard? Haley gulped uncomfortably. What did it matter anyway? He hadn't stood up for her either.

With a slam she closed the dormitory door behind her. She wanted to scream. The fact that she had found herself in a similar situation when she first woke up today wasn't lost on her. It was all so frustrating. First she had thought, she had finally everything under control and now… how had it all escalated that quickly? She didn't even understand what was going on any more.

She threw herself on her bed with a groan. Why was she the bad one all of a sudden? Everything she had been doing was trying to get Malfoy to stop picking on her. All she had wanted was to find out something scandalous about the boy so she could finally get some peace in return for keeping his secret. And now? Now she had snogged him – twice! – and had gotten into a fight with her best friend. Her throat was starting to feel tight. No, she wasn't going to cry!

Tock, tock, tock. Something was tapping against her window. Haley sat up. An owl! She opened the window, letting the bird into the room. It was no ordinary owl that flew onto her bed. An eagle owl. She had never seen one of those up close. Malfoy owned one of them, didn't he? Was it his?

The eagle owl tilted its head to the side and regarded her curiously. Haley stuck out her hand and stroked its soft grey plumage gently. She really loved owls.

"Do you know about the dream corridor as well?" She asked, wondering if the bird dreamed like Hedwig did.

The owl turned its head and bit her fingers softly.

It didn't hurt too much. The eagle owl was holding out one leg expectantly.

"You're impatient, aren't you?" Haley mumbled. She reached for the outstretched leg and untied the letter from around it. It wasn't really a letter. More of a note.

Would you like to go on a date tomorrow?

D.

Her eyes were stuck on the word date. Right. She had told Ron and Hermione she was dating him but… but… she had just said that because Hermione had driven her into a corner.

Dating. Was she really going to date Malfoy? She sighed. What other choice did she have? If she didn't go out with him she would only prove Hermione and her whole house right. But wouldn't she prove them right as well, if she did go out with him despite not even liking him?

"Shit, shit, shit." She cursed under her breath. What was she supposed to do?

The eagle owl hooted again, clucking its beak dangerously. Would it also begin to haunt her in her dreams if she rejected him?

That decided it. The horrifying image of being picked to oblivion by that terrifying long and sharp beak. She had made her bed now she had to lie in it. It wasn't like she was agreeing to get married. This was harmless really. She rummaged around for a quill and some ink in her drawer and quickly scribbled an answer on the back of the note.

Okay.

PS: Does your owl actually want to kill me or does it usually glare at people like that?

She quickly folded up the note and tied it around the owl's leg. It really was glaring at her, making her wonder if it might be able to read. Quick as lightening, the owl bit her finger again, this time less gently.

"Ow." She hissed, glaring at the bird but it had already flown off into the night, leaving her alone with the whirlwind that was her emotions.

…

A/N: Hello, hello! It's fall again. Such a lovely season, don't you agree? But on to more pressing questions. Like, what the heck happened to Haley? I don't know. But apparently, my characters want to go their own ways now. And I am left to listen to them and grant their wishes. If that makes any sense. (She reminds me a bit of Sophie from SGE now. I don't even know.)

Anyway, I hope y'all are having a fantastic time!

Title is inspired from the iconic 'Oops... I did it again' by Britney Spears. Is that foreshadowing? Maybe...