20 – Bitter Truths

"It can take years to mold a dream. It takes only a fraction of a second for it to be shattered."
― Mary E. Pearson, The Kiss of Deception

...

The smell of coffee filled her nose. Then someone gently shook her shoulder.

"Wake up." A quiet voice called. It was a familiar voice. Her neck hurt. And her legs. And her back. And her arms felt numb like they'd fallen asleep. She grunted. This wasn't the best way to wake up.

"Hey." The voice was slightly louder now. Haley blinked her eyes open slowly and tried to make sense of her surroundings. "Where… where's my bed?" She mumbled sleepily. "What am I… what am I doing here?" She was in the owlery.

"That's what I would like to know as well." Draco. She blinked up at him confusedly. Then it dawned on her. She'd fallen asleep here, last night.

"Hedwig! I–" She jumped to her feet and glanced around the space but the owl was nowhere to be seen.

"Why'd you sleep up here? Is your own bed that uncomfortable?" The boy asked, lazily leaning against the wall. Gazing at his face made the revelations of the previous night return at full force. Did he really lose his magic? Had it been Neville who'd done it? She couldn't ask him. What if it was true?

"What is it? Is it too overwhelming, seeing me first thing in the morning?"

Haley rolled her eyes. "I once woke up to my little brother jumping on top of me because he was scared of the ghosts beneath his bed. That was overwhelming."

Draco grinned. "Yeah, keep telling yourself that."

"You're such a – "

"I got you coffee. And breakfast." He pointed at a cup and a handkerchief bundle on top of the stone wall. "I'm such an amazing boyfriend. That's what you were going to say, right?"

"Breakfast? Wait, what time is it?"

"Almost ten," he answered after a glance at his pocket watch. A bloody pocket watch. How pretentious was that? Why had she never noticed before?

"Shit. That means I've missed half of…" What was her first lesson today?

"Charms?" Draco completed.

"Right. How'd you know that?" Was he stalking her now?

"Your friend." He said the word like he was talking about a bothersome insect. "She asked me if I'd seen you, since you weren't inside your bed this morning. Or at breakfast for that matter."

"Oh."

"Said she really didn't want to miss Charms, so I offered to look for you."

Hermione.

"Your other friend went to look inside your tower." Ron?

"What about you? Don't you need to go to class?" She asked.

He gave a shrug. "It's fine. I never got why we need to know how to turn buttons into beetles anyway."

It was suspicious. Was that another excuse not to use magic?

"Besides, I told you. I don't need practice. I'm a natural." He winked at her. Then he frowned. "You never said what brought you up here in the middle of the night."

"Oh." She looked around as if the reason for her nightly visit was still visible in the air. "I couldn't sleep – I…" Her gaze lingered on the coffee and breakfast he'd brought her. It was such a sweet gesture. He deserved to hear the truth. Or at least some of it. "I went up here to… to find Hedwig, my owl. Her company… has always been comforting to me."

The boy opened his mouth but instead of speaking, he closed it again. Then he reached out a hand toward her. A silent invitation. Haley was surprised how easy it was to take it. He gave her hand a slight pull, making her step closer.

He lifted his other hand to her hair and ran his fingers over her messy braid. "Is that what you always look like in the mornings?"

Oh, shit! She hadn't showered. She wasn't wearing any make-up. Her hair wasn't brushed… She turned away. But Draco caught the side of her face with his hand. He chuckled.

"I didn't phrase that right. I meant to say 'Do you always look this cute in the mornings?'"

It was a bad safe. She was sure she looked far from cute in that moment. Sleepless and tired, yes. But sure as hell not cute.

"I'm just – I'm so– I – shit!" He sighed, stumbling over his words. "I just wanted… to say…" He ran a hand through his hair. Was he nervous? "You can come to me… next time you can't sleep. I know what it's like to have nightmares – I mean when you can't sleep. I could… I could sing you a lullaby."

The words pulled at her heart. It would have been sweet. Incredibly so. If only the word nightmare didn't remind her of last night's dream.

"Sure." She said, biting her lips. "You'll have to tell me the password to your common room first, though."

Before he could consider telling her the password, Haley leaned up and pecked his cheek lightly. "Thanks for breakfast," she whispered. Then she picked up the coffee and the food and quickly slid past him and out of the owlery.

"Wait, where are you-?" He called after her.

"Charms!"

He appeared at the top of the stairs, frowning. "Make time tomorrow," he ordered slightly put off. Tomorrow was Saturday.

"Why?"

"We're having a date!" He declared so cheerfully, that she couldn't help but smile.

"Oh, really? I didn't know that."

"As long as you know now." He replied, making her snort.

"Fine!"

She chuckled in amusement, almost forgetting for a moment what had unsettled her in the first place. Then she remembered. What a mess. If only there was anyone she could talk to about it.

…

"I need to go to the library," Haley told her friends before lunch.

"I swear, it's creepy how much you sounded like Hermione just now." Ron commented.

"Why's that?" The girl in question asked.

"Oh. There's something important I need to check. Almost forgot," Haley answered vaguely. In truth, she was afraid Malfoy would be waiting for her in the Great Hall again. She still didn't know what to make of that dream.

"That sounds almost as convincing as your other excuse. When you said you wanted to send a letter early in the morning and lost track of time in the owlery." Hermione gave her a pointed look.

Haley bit her lips. She had to admit her excuses didn't sound plausible at all or pretty original.

"Er… just be a darling and get me one of those avocado sandwiches?" She fluttered her eyelashes sweetly. "I'll tell you what this is about later." She probably wouldn't but that didn't matter at that moment.

…

There was nothing. Inside this huge library all filled up with things related to magic, there was not a single book about anyone losing their magic. Haley found lots of books about Squibs but she wasn't really interested in those poor souls.

"Let me guess, you've lost track of time again?"

Haley flinched. "Hermione! Do you want to give me a heart attack?" Her friend had appeared out of nowhere. Like when she had temporarily used that time-turner.

"Squibs? Since when are you interested in Squibs?" She picked up one of the books Haley had been looking at. "By the way, we're gonna be late for Defence if we don't leave now. Are you coming?"

Shit. The last time, she'd missed Defence, Remus hadn't been amused at all. What if he told her mum? "Yeah, of course, let's go!" Hastily, she placed all the books back in the shelf and hurried out of the library.

"Haley! Haley, wait!" Hermione called, catching her just at the exit.

"What is it?"

"Your sandwich!"

"Oh great, thanks! I'll eat it on the way." She held out her hand expectantly. But Hermione only raised an eyebrow.

Haley sighed. "What now?"

"You'll get the sandwich once you've told me what all of this is about."

Damn. That girl really knew how to get what she wanted.

Haley hung her head. She hadn't eaten much for breakfast. And now… she could really use that avocado sandwich. And maybe… maybe Hermione could help?

She pulled her friend into an alcove and made sure no one was in their hearing distance.

"Okay," she started to say, "okay, so… have you ever heard of a spell that… that can take away… someone's magic?" She whispered that last part like it was a shady secret.

"What? Why are you asking that? I mean… I've never… Oh, is that why you were reading up on Squibs? I mean, I've never heard of something like that before but… wait, why do you want to know? Are you planning something? Is this another weird idea of your dad? Or is it that dream thing? Did it drain your magic?" It was terribly exhausting to try and follow Hermione's thought process.

"No. It's nothing like that," Haley answered. "I've just been… curious."

Hermione snorted.

"Fine," Haley relented. "But… I can't really tell you the details now. Sorry."

Hermione watched her for a few long seconds. Then she sighed. "I trust you not to do anything extremely stupid or dangerous." With that, she fetched a little bundle out of her bag that smelled absolutely heavenly.

Haley almost snatched it out of her hand, tearing open the handkerchief bundle. This was pure bliss.

"I would never. You know me," she promised, mouth full of toasted bread and avocado.

"Your eating manners are almost as bad as Ron's," Hermione commented distastefully.

Haley frowned. Hadn't Draco said something similar? A flash of guilt filled her at the reminder of the boy. She should have kept quiet. Knowing Hermione, it wouldn't take long until she counted two and two together.

"I can look into it for you, if you want." Hermione offered. Oh no…

"You don't have to." Haley shook her head. "Really, it's not that important."

"If you say so." Her friend gave a shrug. But the thoughtful look on her face was definitely alarmed.

Well, at least she'd kept it fairly vague. She hadn't even mentioned Draco. And maybe all of this was nothing but a stupid dream anyway. She really hoped it was.

…

During breakfast on Saturday Haley's eyes kept flicking toward Neville who was sitting a few seats away. What if he knew something? Should she just ask him? But what if she was completely wrong about all of this and she was worrying for nothing? Or what if she was right and he knew nothing? Did she have the right to expose Draco like that?

She didn't know. She didn't know what to do! Why was this so damn complicated?

"Good morning!" A high voice greeted from behind her. She turned around trying not to groan. One of the Creeveys. What did he want this time?

"Hi!" She forced a smile.

"So, I know you're probably really really busy but my brother Colin asked me to remind you to fill out this form. According to our sources it seems like you're still in a relationship with Draco Malfoy from the Slytherin house." He explained, reading from a small note.

She frowned. "So? What if I am? Is it against the rules to date a Slytherin now?"

"No, of c-course not," the kid stammered. "I-It's just important that he signs this, so the Gryffindor fan club can be assured your partner will not harm or sabotage our star player in any way and is capable of supporting and taking care of you."

"What the hell?" She exclaimed. "It's not like I'm getting married or anything! And if I was, why would that be any of your business?"

"I-I-It's j-just because we're w-worried." The kid stuttered. "You're a l-legend. You f-fly like a g-goddess. We w-want to p-protect you. It's o-our duty."

Oh. Those words were like honey. A legend. A goddess. She sighed dramatically. Well, maybe she could do this one little favour for her loyal fans. "Fine. I'll have a look at it." She stretched out her hand.

"Oh, awesome! Thank you! You're the best!"

Haley nodded, accepting the words like she heard something like this on a daily basis.

"Here's the form."

"Okay." She gave the kid a pointed look. "I would like to finish my breakfast now."

"Oh! Yes, of course! Have a great day!"

With that he was finally gone. And she had finally time to eat her cornflakes.

Smiling sweetly, she turned to Hermione who was already looking at her thoughtfully. "Can you have a look at this for me?" She handed the form to her friend.

She didn't even have to ask it seemed. Hermione was already eagerly going through the pages. With any luck it was going to distract her from doing research on the matter she'd shared with her yesterday. It really was enough if one person worried herself to madness about it.

…

Draco was waiting in the Great Hall. He seemed bored like there was no specific reason for the casual way in which he was leaning against the wall.

But the moment he spotted her, his lips turned into a grin. It seemed like an unconscious reaction. Haley squashed the feeling of guilt surfacing in her belly.

"Hi there," she greeted him, stepping to his side.

His smile widened. "Are you ready?"

She shook her head. "Not quite. I need to fetch something first."

He pouted, reaching for her hand as if that was going to stop her. "Can't it wait?"

"Nu-uh." She shook her head, grinning playfully.

Draco sighed. "Fine. Meet me at the tree house, okay?"

"You never told me the password," she noted.

He leaned close to her and whispered in her ear, "I'll tell the house to let you in."

Haley rolled her eyes. "Will that work?"

"Guess, we'll have to find out." He winked. His eyes twinkled mischievously. Haley wanted to kiss–

He kissed her. It was just a peck. Quick and sweet. But so full of affection. She wanted more of it. But in front of all the other students, she suddenly felt strangely shy. Reluctantly, she pulled away. "See you in a bit."

"Don't take too long!"

She giggled. The butterflies in her stomach made her feel light. So so light.

…

For all the times, Draco had brought her food, she wanted to return the favour. That's why she had decided to make a detour to the kitchens and fetch a sweet treat for their date.

Also, she wanted to change. She had this beautiful light turquoise blouse that looked amazing with a nice pair of jeans. The combination perfectly showed off the curves she had and hid the ones she didn't have.

After she had taken care of her appearance and the treats, she strolled along the castle grounds, on her way toward the tree house. It was a good thing, she had such a good sense of orientation. There was the group of birch trees she remembered from last time. Would the trees trap her like before?

She could already see the ladder, leading up to the tree house. Did that mean it was safe? Carefully, as not to get her feet caught on another root, Haley stepped forward. One step. Two steps. Three. Four. Five. Until she finally reached the ladder. Without being harmed in any way.

"See? I told you it was going to work." Called a voice from above.

"Technically, you said 'guess, we'll find out'," she replied, starting to climb up.

"The probability was pretty high. The wood spirits are quite fond of me." He said lightly. Haley climbed the last step and pulled herself onto the platform. Draco was sitting at the edge of it grinning.

"Are they? I kinda sense a story there," she noted, raising an eyebrow.

The boy got up and came over to her. "Do you now."

She nodded. He placed his hands on her waist and leaned down to kiss her.

Haley pushed him away with a chuckle. "Who's the one using distraction strategies now?" She wasn't stupid.

Draco smirked. "Well, it's not my fault you're that distracting." He dropped another kiss on her lips, almost making her forget her point. Why did his kisses always feel so damn amazing?

"You're not going to tell me?" She breathed, trying not to look at his mouth.

"Another time." He promised, reaching up to brush a strand of hair out of her face. It was such a tender gesture.

"Fair enough," she whispered. She had her own share of secrets. It was only fair to leave him his. The ones he still had left, anyway.

"So… what was so important that you had to make me wait for hours?"

Haley rolled her eyes. "I hardly took longer than thirty minutes."

"Lies." He replied teasingly.

She gave him a glare, before freeing herself from his grip and stepping into the only room of the tree house. "I was going to share this with you but now… I'm not sure I should," she said, placing two huge bowls of never-melting ice cream on top of the coffee table. A guitar lay in front of it. Had Draco practised earlier?

"This looks like… Fortescue's?" Draco noted, the words sounding more like a question.

Haley grinned. "I may have asked Bandy to do me a small favour." She only hoped Hermione never found out about this. The girl wasn't exactly fond of the way house elves were treated by wizards in general. But Bandy had been so eager to help her… Maybe, she could give him something in return?

"I take it back," the boy said hastily, plopping into the couch next to her. "You definitely didn't take longer than thirty minutes."

"Oh, did you think you could charm me with sweet words?" She huffed. Then she added. "Well, it worked. Which one do you want? I think I'm going to go with chocolate. Bandy said he got the most popular flavours."

She pulled the chocolate ice cream toward her and pushed the other one over to the boy.

Just when she was about to pick up her spoon and try the ice cream, she noticed the frown on Draco's face.

"What is it?" She asked curiously. Then her gaze fell on the other bowl of ice cream. It had a pink tinge and was sprinkled with little strawberry pieces. Oh. She got it now.

"Oh, right! Sorry, I forgot you can't eat strawberries. Here, you can have mine instead." Haley offered, switching the two bowls of ice cream.

He still didn't pick up his ice cream. "I can't eat strawberries?" He questioned confusedly.

"Well, yeah, because of your allergy." Duh. She rolled her eyes.

"How do you know I'm allergic to strawberries?"

Was he stupid? He'd told her that himself! "You're the one who-"

"I'm quite certain I've never told you about that." He narrowed his eyes at her. "Not even my house mates know."

Shit. She remembered now. He'd told her in one of his dreams.

"I… er… lucky guess?" She tried.

"Now that I think about it… there have been other times… things you somehow knew about me." He watched her thoughtfully, almost scrutinizing. "I've always wondered… how you knew I liked the Weird Sisters… or that I drink my hot chocolate with Firewhiskey… or how you found out…" He looked to the side. "About my feelings… for you."

Haley was quiet. She had no idea how to explain her way out of this. "Er… remember when I told you I could read minds?" She chuckled nervously.

Draco scoffed. "Do you think I'm stupid? Legillimency only works with a wand. And you need eye contact. I'm pretty sure I would have noticed you rummaging through my head like that."

"I…" She had no answer to that.

"Tell me. How did you know all that?"

"I…" She bit her lips nervously, frantically searching for any kind of excuse inside her head. There was nothing.

"Tell me!" He repeated, more urgently.

He wasn't going to let go of it. That much was obvious. Did she really have no other choice?

She sighed, gazing down at her lap, where her fingers were knotted together tightly. "You have to understand," she began quietly. "That what I'm about to tell you… I only did that because of the way you were treating me before. Because of the pranks and… and everything else you did to me." She looked up shortly but she couldn't read the expression on his face. She looked away again. "I… just wanted it all to stop. So… I figured out how to… " Shit. This was so hard. How was he going to react?

"Figured out what?" He whispered.

Haley closed her eyes, hoping that would make it easier. It didn't. "How to walk into dreams!"

"What do you mean?"

Damn it. Now she had to explain. Why couldn't she just disappear? Or make the problem disappear?

"Imagine there is a door… and if you step through that door you can watch someone dream. Even talk to them while they're dreaming." She was sure she wasn't explaining it right. Her mum was so much better at this.

"Watch someone dream? I've never heard of that before… Is that what you did? How you know all of these things about me? You spied on me? While I was sleeping?" He visibly became angrier with every question he asked.

"It was before! Before all of this!" Haley pointed from him to her to make it clear what she was referring to. "I was so tired of the shit you put me through every day! I thought… I thought if I found out something you didn't want anyone else to know I could get you to stop harassing me!"

For a while he only watched her. Silently. Now it would be handy to be able to read minds.

"Sneaky," he said then. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think a Slytherin came up with it."

What was he thinking? He wasn't giving anything away. How was he this good at hiding his feelings?

"So, what now?" He asked almost casually. "Was it fun? Digging around in my dreams? Playing with me?"

"I wasn't – I…" Haley ran a hand over her face, clawing at her hair. "I – you're not being fair! I did it because… I told you why! But I'm not doing it any more, okay? I stopped because I want to give this a chance!"

"Oh yeah? Since when? When was the last time you spied on me?"

Well, shit. She had hoped he wouldn't ask that question. She looked down at her hands again. "Oh, that was weeks ago." She said vaguely.

"Weeks?" He didn't sound so unfazed any more.

"I mean – at first I kinda was spying on you but later I came back because I liked spending time with you. So – it wasn't really spying at all."

"So, you're saying you haven't done this dream walking thing for at least two weeks?" It was obvious, he was trying to keep calm. "Right?"

Haley shrugged.

"Right?" He asked again. "Or was there another time?"

"I… I wanted to… I wanted to say goodbye." She whispered. He wasn't going to like what she was going to say next. But hadn't Hermione said she had to be honest if she wanted this to have a real chance? She'd said he would understand… if he really cared about her. This was the test, then. "So, I visited you… one last time."

"When was that?" The boy whispered. "What did you see?" His breathing had quickened considerably. She could feel his eyes on her, but was too scared to look at him.

"I… "

He gripped her shoulders, turning her so she had to face him. If she looked up. But she still refused to.

"What. Did. You. See?" He burst out angrily. Then he grabbed her chin and made her finally meet his gaze. He looked at her for no longer than a few seconds. Then he let go of her face. Something he'd seen on her face seemed to confirm his worst fears.

"You know it." Draco said, chuckling darkly. "You know, don't you?" Suddenly, there were tears in his eyes. His lower lip started to tremble and it reminded Haley so much of her little brother that she wanted to lunge forward and hug him.

The boy flinched away from her touch. "Don't." His breathing seemed much too fast now.

"I'm sorry," Haley pleaded. "I didn't mean to – I only wanted to say goodbye – I didn't know about your magic. I–"

"Be quiet!" He cried, getting to his feet. Away from her. "You had no right! How dare you sneak into someone's head – How – I – Not even father – I –" He buried his hands in his hair, tugging at it violently. He looked so utterly pained. It broke something inside her.

"Well, it looks like you got your secret now. Now, you can finally get back at me like you wanted to. Go. Go and tell everyone about poor Draco Malfoy who can't do a simple spell!"

"I didn't know – I –" She felt so helpless.

"Or did you tell them already?"

"No! I'd never–"

"Leave."

"What?"

"Go!" He thundered. "It's not a spell! It means I don't want to see you any more!"

"But–"

"I said leave! Do you think I won't hurt you just because I can't use my wand?" He grabbed one of the ice cream bowls from the table and hurled it against the wall. It was the strawberry one, leaving sad pink streaks of ice cream on the wood.

"Get out!" Draco was breathing heavily now, his face wet with tears. She wanted to go and hug him. Tell him, it would be all right. Make it all better. But that wasn't what he wanted. And it wouldn't be true, either. She didn't know if things were going to be all right. But it was obvious that he didn't want her company. So, there really was nothing else to do but to leave.

"I'm sorry," she whispered quietly. He didn't reply.

When Haley started climbing down the ladder, she saw Draco picking up the guitar from the floor and smashing it against the table. The crack, breaking the instrument's neck in two, resounded loudly inside her heart.

…

A/N: Hello people! Hope you're all doing well! I've been looking forward to this scene forever. And now I can finally share it all with you. What do you think? What's up with Draco's magic? Will he ever forgive Haley? Or is their relationship doomed? FInd out in the next issue xD (Also just so you know we're close to the end , so I think there will be maybe three or four more chapters? We'll see :)