22 – Let Me Be Your Wings
"Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird,
That cannot fly."
― Langston Hughes
...
It was obvious Draco had too much coffee. The way he was tossing and turning Haley wondered just how much coffee he'd had.
He sighed.
"Can't fall asleep?" Haley asked quietly. Instantly, Draco opened his eyes, blinking at her, eyes red-rimmed and fully awake. It looked positively manic.
"Too much coffee." He groaned, rubbing his eyes tiredly. It was almost as if he was too tired to fall asleep.
"I could get you a sleeping draught from Pomfrey." She suggested.
He frowned, opening his mouth to argue. Then he looked around the big dark Charms class room sceptically. He wasn't afraid of the dark, was he?
"Er… or we could… go together?" Haley proposed, hesitantly.
Draco got up right away. "Yeah, let's do that."
Haley snorted. But she let him help her up. And when they left the sad doomy class room behind, she didn't let go of his hand.
…
"Merlin's beard, what happened to you?" This is how they were greeted by Madame Pomfrey, who promptly pulled Draco to a bed, asking him all kinds of questions and checking his body for any visible injuries.
"It's nothing!" Draco finally burst out. "I drank too much coffee! I need a sleeping draught, that's it."
Madame Pomfrey pursed her lips, seeming slightly disgruntled. Then she stepped back at last, smoothing down her robes. "Fine." She looked at Haley as if telling her to keep an eye on her impatient patient.
Haley shrugged, trying not to grin. The woman hastily disappeared into her office.
"Don't grin," Draco hissed, elbowing her lightly. "This is not funny."
"It is, a bit," she replied, leaning back in the seat, next to his bed. He glared at her. Then he yawned. It totally destroyed the effect. Haley kept grinning.
"One spoonful of this should be enough," Madame Pomfrey said, appearing next to Draco's bed with a huge ocean blue bottle and a spoon in hand. "Or maybe you need two," she pondered, looking him over once more.
"Hold this, dear," Madame Pomfrey said, unscrewing the cap and handing it to Haley. "By the way… has there been any… change… concerning your state?" The woman asked, filling the spoon with a light blue liquid.
Draco stiffened. He mechanically shook his head once. What was she talking about? His… magic? He took a deep breath as if to calm himself down. Haley grabbed his hand reflexively, trying to provide some sort of comfort.
"Too bad." Madame Pomfrey sighed. She pushed the spoon into his other hand, urging him to swallow. "Drink, drink."
He swallowed the liquid with a grimace.
Madame Pomfrey poured him another spoonful. "Well, there are different kinds of magic in the world, aren't there?" The woman said kindly, glancing at their clasped hands. So, she did know about his magic.
Draco downed the second spoonful and handed back the spoon.
"I am in my office, if you need me." With that Madame Pomfrey left them alone.
Haley tried to catch his eyes but Draco was gazing out of the window behind him. "She knows?" She asked quietly.
He shrugged half-heartedly. "They all know," he admitted almost soundlessly. "All the teachers. How could I have kept it from them?"
His eyes were still focused on the window. She wondered what it was that captivated his attention like that.
"But then-"
"Are you going to go back to your tower?" He asked, interrupting her. She could see his eyes droop, although he still wasn't looking at her. She had the feeling what he was really asking was 'Are you going to stay?'.
"No, not yet" Haley replied, squeezing his hand reassuringly. "Maybe I'll ask Pomfrey for another spoonful." She joked.
That got him to finally look at her. "Don't. That stuff tastes horrible." He shuddered, grinning softly.
He settled under the covers, struggling to keep his eyes open. And then, like a switch had been flipped, his eyes closed, his breathing evening out. Draco Malfoy looked peaceful when he was asleep. Who would have thought?
"Sweet dreams," Haley whispered, leaning forward and brushing a blond strand out of his eyes.
Then she glanced out of the window, curious as to what had stolen his attention. Quidditch. There were a couple of students out on the pitch, flying freely in the evening air.
Right. He couldn't do that any more either.
She hoped he could at least dream of it.
…
In a way it was strange. Countless times, she had been with him while he dreamed. But she'd always been sleeping as well. Never before had she watched him while she was awake. It could have been boring. But there was something calming about the sound of his deep breaths. Somehow it felt like she was watching over him. Like a guardian angel or something. The thought made her snort. How cheesy. In the end that was only a prettier word for stalker.
She was just debating whether to go back to Gryffindor tower and let her friends know she was still alive, when the doors to the Infirmary opened.
The curtains drawn around Draco's bed made it impossible for her to see who it was. It was her never-ending curiosity that pushed her to draw the curtains aside and catch a glimpse of the visitor.
"Neville?" She whispered in surprise.
"Haley." The boy seemed relieved to see her. Had he been looking for her? "Why do you keep disappearing?" He asked, coming over to Draco's bed. "We've been looking for you all evening!" We? Was he talking about Ron and Hermione? It felt good somehow to have people worry about you. Had anyone besides her been worried about Draco?
"Are you hurt? Is that why-?"
"Shhh!" Haley pressed her finger to her mouth, nodding to Draco who was still sleeping soundly in his bed.
Neville drew the curtain aside further and caught a glimpse of the sleeping boy. "Oh." He said quietly. "What happened to him?"
"Nothing serious." Haley explained. "He just… needed some sleep."
Neville frowned. He looked from the boy to Haley to her hand resting on Draco's, seemingly wondering which question to ask first. Or whether he should ask at all.
Confusion had always looked cute on him. She felt a nostalgic surge of affection rush over her. "Why don't you sit down for a moment?"
Her offer seemed to confuse him even more. "I thought you were… still mad?"
"Mostly, I'm tired." She replied quietly. Tired of being mad for one. At least one of the reasons for her anger had disappeared like dandelions in summer.
Cautiously, Neville took a seat on the opposite side of Draco's bed.
Strange. She didn't know what to say. It used to be so easy to talk to him. Now, she couldn't find a single word to say.
"So…" Neville seemed to have similar problems. He was chewing on his lips like he always did when he was nervous. It made Haley chuckle softly. Some things never changed. Suddenly, she was longing for their easy friendship. The way it had been before she'd started crushing on him. Why did feelings always make everything that much more complicated?
Neville cleared his throat awkwardly. "Er… Hermione said you'd probably gone looking for him… Did… did something happen?"
Haley was grateful he finally found a topic that saved them from that unbearable silence. "Oh… well, we had a little… er – misunderstanding." For some reason she didn't want to admit they'd had a fight. That had mostly been her fault. And that Draco had gone into hiding because of it.
"Misunderstanding?"
"Er… yes. I – I found out about something I shouldn't and – well…" Haley didn't know how to continue.
"Oh." Neville didn't say anything more than that. Almost as if he understood already.
Which he probably did.
"Neville, he–" Suddenly, she needed to know. She needed to confirm whether everything Draco had told her was true. "You know, don't you? About… the thing he… lost." Haley trailed off, not wanting to say it out loud. What if Neville had no idea what she was talking about? For a moment she glanced down at Draco, checking whether he was still asleep. He was.
"He told you about that?" Neville asked in surprise.
"Er… something like that." She said sheepishly. "Is it true that he… was he trying to curse you?"
"He–" Neville rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, it's not like he didn't have a reason – I mean, it's understandable – he wanted to ask you out and I – if it had been me–"
"You wouldn't have cursed him." Haley interrupted him, shaking her head. She was sure of that. "He said, you didn't even defend yourself."
"I…" He shrugged, biting his lips even harder.
"Even now… you're still defending him. Although, he was trying to take away your magic." It didn't make sense. Why was he behaving like that?
"He said… he didn't know what kind of curse it was," Neville replied stubbornly.
"You believed him?" Haley believed him of course, but it was less likely he'd lie to his girlfriend than to a boy he despised.
"Why would he lie about that?" Neville looked so appalled, that Haley chuckled softly. Honestly, sometimes, he was so good-hearted, he could be a Hufflepuff.
No, that wasn't right. He knew how to be harsh with her.
Then a strange thought entered her mind.
"Neville you… why did you break up with me?" Thinking about the breakup still hurt slightly. Even though a year had passed already. Not because she still had feelings for Neville but because she'd never really understood why they'd broken up. She'd always worried it had been her fault somehow. That he'd gotten tired of her. The way Draco held onto her hand in his sleep kept her from being overwhelmed by her past emotions once more. "You never… gave me a proper reason. Does it… have something to do with… all of this?"
Neville looked at his hands that were hidden inside the long sleeves of his robes. He shook his head, as if to clear his mind.
He didn't answer. Instead he sighed deeply, his eyes getting suspiciously wet. "He already lost his magic because of me." Neville shared sadly. "I didn't want to take anything more away from him."
What? Haley shook her head, refusing to accept this explanation. All that time… All her worries… All of the time spent doubting herself…
"It wasn't your fault!" She burst out. "It was an accident!"
"If it wasn't for me, none of it would have happened!"
"That's rubbish!" Haley argued. "You didn't take anything away from him! Least of all me! I'm not a thing, damn it!"
"I know… it's just–"
Neville glanced at the sleeping boy between them guiltily. "I felt like I owed him."
Haley snorted angrily, balling her hand to a fist.
"I couldn't… be with you… knowing I was the reason he was like this." He explained like it was logical in any way.
Haley shook her head in disbelief. "I didn't even like him then," she whispered. "I only wanted to be with you."
"I…" He sighed deeply. "I'm sorry."
She chuckled humourlessly. "All this time… I thought it was my fault… I blamed myself for not being interesting enough. Or fun, or smart. I spent hours wondering what was wrong with me…"
"That's not why-"
"Well, thanks for letting me know now!" She burst out.
"I'm sorry, I should have–"
"This is an infirmary!" Madame Pomfrey interrupted him, appearing suddenly behind Neville. "My patients need a peaceful environment. If you want to yell at each other do it outside!"
"Right. Sorry, Madame Pomfrey." Neville apologized. Haley crossed her arms.
"Good thing, I gave him two spoons instead of one." The woman murmured, glancing at the sleeping boy irritably. "I am afraid, I will have to ask at least one of you to leave."
Haley looked at Neville expectantly.
"I'll go," He said quickly. "I just need a moment." He gave Madame Pomfrey a pleading look.
The woman sighed. "Fine. But keep your voices down." With that she left them alone once more.
Haley didn't want to talk to Neville any longer. This conversation had seriously been exhausting. Why wasn't he leaving? Maybe he'd get the hint if she pretended he wasn't there. Instead, she focused on Draco. His blanket had slipped down somewhat. So Haley leaned forward and pulled up the covers, gently tucking them in around his shoulders.
"You said you didn't like him then," Neville mused quietly.
She sat back, raising an eyebrow in challenge. "Are you asking if I like him now?"
"No. It's obvious you do." It almost sounded as if he was smiling. She glanced up at him curiously to check. He was smiling. But it seemed a little bit sad.
"You're not jealous, are you?"
Neville chuckled softly. "I'm sorry about the things I said that day… I shouldn't have doubted you."
Haley didn't know what to say to that.
"I think in a way… I felt protective of him. I overreacted." He shrugged.
Haley smiled despite herself. "It almost sounds as if you care about him."
"Maybe I do," he admitted. "After everything we've been through…"
For some reason those words made her feel jealous. Even though she felt like Draco could use a real friend, she wasn't sure Neville was the right candidate.
"Would you tell Hermione and Ron, I'm here?" She asked, hoping he'd finally get the hint.
"Of course," Neville replied, getting up from his seat. Before he stepped through the curtain he turned back one last time. "Haley?" He asked hesitantly, like he was about to reveal a secret.
"Yes?"
He bit his lips again. Nervous much? Haley grinned.
"I… I never thought you weren't interesting. I… it was the opposite. I always wondered how someone as amazing as you could ever like me."
The admission almost brought Haley to tears.
Neville wrung his hands. "I wanted to be with you, too."
She'd waited a year to hear something like this. It sounded like an invitation almost. And a few months back she would have started to dance, rejoicing at the possibility of maybe even getting back together.
Now, she knew their relationship was in the past. They'd had their chance. But now she had already given her heart to someone else.
"Thank you for telling me." She whispered, feeling a tear trickle down her cheek.
She felt that much lighter now. Almost as if a dragon-sized rock had been lifted from her chest that had been weighing down on her for ages. The fourteen-year-old girl in her whose heart had been broken all those months ago was finally able to breathe again.
It was amazing what kind of a difference a couple of words could make.
…
A strange feeling stirred her awake. Someone was carding through her long hair. Was it Simon? Or mum?
Slowly, Haley blinked her eyes open… seeing a slightly blurry face that seemed familiar. It was a good thing the face was so close, otherwise she might not have recognized him without her glasses.
"Morning," Draco said somewhat shyly, his fingers still entangled in her hair. She needed a moment. When had she even taken off her glasses? Or relocated from the chair to the infirmary bed? The bed seemed wider than before as well, as if someone had magically enlarged it.
But who? It couldn't have been Draco… So… Madame Pomfrey maybe? Had she also relocated her to the bed?
"What is it?" Draco asked quietly.
"This isn't a dream, is it?" Haley wondered.
"A dream?" He repeated, before smirking. "Sure, how'd you know? Do you usually dream of me?"
Haley rolled her eyes. "I knew it wasn't a dream." She squinted her eyes. "I usually see better when I dream."
Draco chuckled. "Why did you ask then?"
"I don't know… It's just… Everything was so messed up yesterday. I wanted to find you so badly, I was so scared you'd never talk to me again and now… you're here with me. Just like that. It seems… like a dream somehow." She shrugged.
"A good dream?" He questioned.
Haley pretended to think about that. "I've had worse… I guess."
Draco snorted. "I feel like that should be my line."
She coughed awkwardly. "You may be right about that." The glimpses she'd gotten of his nightmares so far were enough to last her a life time.
"Did you sleep better this time?" She searched his face worriedly. He did look somewhat more refreshed compared to last night. But she couldn't be sure without her glasses.
"Yeah, actually. I don't remember ever sleeping so soundly. What do you say, we nick that sleeping draught from Pomfrey?" The mischievous glint in his eyes was such a stark contrast to the lifelessness from last night. It filled her heart with hope.
"Sure, do you think one bottle is enough?" She grinned. His excitement at the idea was contagious.
Draco chuckled. "Hm. Probably not. How many can you carry?"
"Don't know." She rolled her eyes. "Or you know… we could also brew some?"
And that made his face fall again. Talk about putting your foot in your mouth.
"Sorry… I shouldn't have-" She bit her lips uncertainly. "You can still brew potions, can't you?"
He grimaced, pulling up a shoulder. "With assistance." He turned to lie on his back. Facing the ceiling instead of her. "Obviously, I can still chop stuff and throw ingredients into a cauldron." He almost growled. "Lighting the fire though… casting necessary spells… I can't do that," he whispered, his hand balling to a fist. "Pansy always does it. Although she thinks I'm just too lazy," he admitted somberly.
Haley reached for his hand and gently uncurled his fingers one by one. She didn't know what to say. How to find words that would comfort him.
"Sometimes, it feels like an endless nightmare," he continued. "I just wish… I could finally wake up."
"You will." Haley replied lamely, squeezing his hand once.
There was more than wariness in his eyes when he turned his head to look at her again. "How would you know?"
"Well, for one…" she started, walking the fingers of her free hand over his chest slowly. "You've got me on your team now. And the Talking Hat, tried to convince me Ravenclaw was the perfect house for me."
Draco snorted. She tried not to feel offended by it.
"All right, it may have also tried to put me in Slytherin for half a second but… who cares about details?"
"Really? It tried to put you in Slytherin?" He all but cackled in her face.
"That's not the relevant detail here," She argued. "My point is… my head is more than just pretty decoration. If we tackle this together, I'm sure we can find a way to solve it. We could even ask Hermione for help."
"No." The answer came instantly.
"What no-"
"We're not asking Granger for help." Somehow Haley really like how he casually said we. Like they were a team.
"But you're letting me help?" She pouted. Not intentionally of course.
"Or you could just let it go." Draco caught her hand swiftly, making her fingers stop moving about on his chest.
Haley shook her head. "No."
He sighed. But he didn't protest further. She took that as reluctant agreement. If Haley had known how compliant he could be a few months ago, she would have started dating him much sooner.
"All right. It's decided, then." She beamed, cuddling into his side.
"There's really no reason to be that happy about it." He said grumpily but pulled her closer nevertheless.
Haley grinned. "We should get started after breakfast," she suggested, filled with a sudden enthusiasm. It felt good that she had finally found a way to actively help him. "Maybe we can find some clues in the book the curse was in."
Draco stiffened. "I don't – after breakfast? What about classes?"
"Well I…" she hesitated. "I figured, we'd skip?"
"There's no reason for that." He argued.
"You're coming to class, then?"
She felt him shake his head. "Unlike you, I've got a reason to skip. If you want to we can meet up for lunch later."
"But-"
"I'd like to… you know?" He trailed off, gesturing toward his hair.
Oh. He probably wanted to shower. If he'd spent all that time in the abandoned class room, he probably hadn't showered in days. It made her feel really bad for him.
"Right." She reached up her hand to caress his cheek gently. "I'll meet you for lunch, then."
"Lunch?" The curtain around Draco's bed was drawn open with a forceful swoosh, revealing a cheerful Madam Pomfrey. "Don't tell me you're planning to leave before having breakfast? It does get boring around here, eating by myself all the time."
Haley all but leaped off the bed in surprise, landing in an undignified heap on the ground.
"I see you've made the most of last night." The woman commented, pointedly eyeing the space where Haley had been lying only moments before.
"That's not – we didn't – I just –" Haley tried to explain, waving her hands back and forth frantically.
Madame Pomfrey honest-to-Merlin giggled. Like a school girl. "I know, I know. I gave Mr Malfoy my strongest sleeping draught, after all." She winked. It had been her after all. Enlarging the bed. Relocating her from the chair.
Haley felt less embarrassed than she probably should. She glanced at Draco who was turning redder by the minute. It looked strangely cute on him.
"So… who wants breakfast?" Madame Pomfrey asked joyfully.
Haley shrugged. "Sure, why not?"
Draco looked as if he was contemplating whether it was a good idea to hide beneath the bed or not.
Haley grinned. It looked incredibly silly. But it was a thousand times better than his lifeless eyes from yesterday.
…
Haley was this close to asking Hermione for help. But Draco had clearly said he didn't want that.
So… what to do? She was sure with Hermione's help they'd be able to fix Draco's magic in no time. On the other hand… would Hermione even help her? Currently, she was in OWL mode and exams and revision were the only thing she wanted to talk about. She had been quite mad already when Haley explained to her where she'd been the previous afternoon… and night.
"I simply don't understand how it seems responsible to you to skip classes two weeks before the OWLs!" She started the argument again, when they were on their way to the Great Hall for lunch break after Herbology.
"I told you, it was an emergency." Haley sighed. "And I missed only two classes yesterday."
"Two very important classes!" Hermione argued passionately. Right. History of Magic and Transfigurations were such important classes. Well, Transfigurations maybe.
It was annoying how Hermione was always able to make her feel like an ill-mannered child.
"It's not like we're doing anything more than revision anyway." She mumbled, kicking a stone.
"Which is very important!" Hermione said indignantly. "What if you fail the exams? What about your future?"
"What about my future?" Haley burst out irritably. "Do you know what McGonnagall and I talked about during our career advice session last month? Basically she listed jobs that seemed fitting in her opinion and I pretended to be interested!" She snorted. "Actually, they were all jobs that my parents would have liked but I…" She shook her head. "I'm fifteen, for Merlin's sake! How am I supposed to know now what I want to do for the rest of my life?"
Hermione seemed speechless. Which was extremely rare for her.
"You too?" Ron broke the silence. "I thought I was the only one who felt like this."
"What?" Hermione turned to him. "You said you wanted to try getting a job in the Ministry."
He shrugged. "Yeah well, Dad works there. And Percy. I figured why not? But to be honest… what do I know?"
Haley sent him a grateful smile, feeling not as alone with her worries any more.
Hermione stopped, crossing her arms and seizing them both up with a glance. "So what?" She huffed. "The OWLs are still important. Even if you don't know what you want to do yet. I mean, what if you fail? Surely, you don't want to repeat the year."
Haley looked to the ground. The grass was so green. "If there's no other way." She replied quietly. Actually, she had thought about it… Repeating the year. If Draco… if they didn't find a way to get his magic back soon. And with the OWLs only two weeks away… chances of him taking the exams were pretty slim to begin with.
Hermione stared at her. Speechless for the second time in less than five minutes. "What are you even saying?" She breathed.
"I… It's just… you know… the thing is–" Haley didn't know how to explain without giving anything away. And really, it wasn't her story to tell.
A comforting weight settled on her shoulder. Ron's hand. "It's all right, Hails," he grunted soothingly. "Obviously, you've got your reasons. We respect that. Right Hermione?"
Haley could have kissed him. If he hadn't used that silly nickname. If his hair was blond instead of red. If his eyes were a mysterious grey instead of clear blue. But then, this was hardly the important detail.
"Thanks Ron," she whispered, lunging forward to give him a quick hug. Maybe he didn't say a lot but when you needed a friend you could always count on him.
Hermione seemed to sense that there was more to Haley's words than she was giving away. She took her hand and gave it a brief squeeze. "Of course we do," she added. "Just let us know, if you need anything."
Haley nodded, noticing how Hermione used the word we. She looked up, finding Ron's ears suspiciously red. Apparently, he'd noticed it, too.
…
When they were about to enter the Great Hall, she remembered she was supposed to meet up with Draco for lunch. He'd said he was going to wait for her at the tree house.
Hermione only raised her brows and sighed, when Haley told her friends to go ahead without her. But she sent her off with a smile nonetheless.
Spotting his white blond hair in the midst of the birch trees, made her almost sigh with relief. She'd almost feared he wasn't going to come because of a change of mind.
But there he was, leaning against a tree lazily and looking roguish as ever. But there was something charming about it lately that she hadn't noticed before.
When he noticed her, he seemed almost surprised. Maybe, he'd thought she wasn't going to come just like she herself had.
Such depressing thoughts. Haley ran the last metres toward him and ambushed him with a hug. She wasn't exactly sure why she was so relieved to see him. Even without casting a spell he was somehow capable of drawing her in as if he had his own special kind of magic.
"What was that for?" Draco asked, holding onto the tree behind him, so they wouldn't lose their balance. His hair looked soft and shiny again and he smelled of lavenders, mint and woods. It was Haley's favourite smell in the world.
"I'm just… glad to see you," she admitted, burying her face in his robes. "I was kinda afraid, you might go back to hiding from me."
That made him chuckle. "What would be the point? You already know everything." He slung an arm around her waist. "Besides, I can hardly hide from someone who follows me into my dreams."
"Not doing that any more," she mumbled, rolling her eyes. "I don't even have anything personal from you."
"So you keep saying."
She glanced up at him sharply. "Well… we can easily check that. Did you dream of me last night?"
He frowned, seemingly thinking about it. "Actually… I don't remember dreaming anything at all." He lifted a brow. "And that's hardly a useful proof. How would I know if it's the real you or just a regular dream?"
He was right about that of course. Was there even a way to differentiate?
"Which makes me wonder…" Draco continued. "You've been in a lot of my dreams lately. Was it always… you?"
Haley shook her head. "I'm not a stalker."
He gave her a very pointed glance.
She bit her lips. "Well, maybe I am a bit of a stalker…ish person."
He snorted, before full out bursting into laughs. It was a beautiful sight. Also, extremely offensive, of course but still… undeniably beautiful.
"Stop it," she grumbled. "Stop it, won't you!" She half-heartedly slapped his chest to make him stop.
"I don't even know why I'm laughing about this." He finally said, after the laughter had gained a slightly hysterical touch. "I mean, it's hardly fair that you know all about my dreams and I don't even know when you were there stalking me and when you weren't."
Haley stomped her foot. "I said I'm not a stalker!" But Draco looked so honestly curious that she added, "If you want to I'll tell you about the dreams."
He grinned. Like Simon sometimes did when he convinced her to give him the last scone.
"But first…" She interjected. "We've come here to do something else, haven't we?"
He groaned, remembering.
"Did you bring the book?"
"Yes," he drawled, clearly not thrilled in the least.
"How about that," Haley proposed. "We'll get started on our research and after that, you can ask me anything you want about the dreams, all right?"
He thought about it for a moment. Maybe looking for a catch? "I guess… we can do that."
Haley grinned. "All righty, then. Let's go!" Impulsively, she grabbed his hand and pulled him in the direction of the tree house.
"Wait! You're going to–"
Haley stumbled over a root and sailed to the ground, pulling Draco right along with her.
"–Fall." He finished, before veins shot out from left and right, grabbing her and binding her against one of the trees. Up-side-down.
"Why is it always me?" She screeched, glaring at Draco who was already on his feet again, seemingly not harmed in any way.
"Told you. The wood spirits are fond of me." He said smugly. "That and I know the password."
Haley huffed. "Good for you. Maybe if you feel like it, tell the damn spirits to let me down?"
Draco knelt down in front of her and whispered into her ear, "Help me, please."
"Very funny!" She thundered. She was the one being attacked by an aggressive tree and he had nothing better to do but ask for help? Was that another of his pranks?
He rose to his feet again. "It's the password."
What? "Help me, please?" She tried out sceptically.
And promptly she was returned to the ground, right-side-up, no more evil veins in sight.
She turned to Draco in confusion. "What kind of password is that? And how'd you know it?"
He shrugged, looking away. "I found out by accident." Contemplatively he tilted his head to the side. "Though… maybe it wasn't an accident after all. I found it… a few nights after I realized my magic was really… g-gone. I must have wandered across the grounds aimlessly for hours, asking someone – anyone for help." His voice sounded so so far away. "Until finally someone answered. And the tree house appeared. Like a safe haven waiting for anyone who's desperate enough."
So that was the story behind the tree house. Haley's heart ached for him. He must have felt so sad and lonely.
Draco cleared his throat and turned to look at her. "You didn't know?"
"No." She shook her head. "How would I?"
He chuckled. "I can't help but wonder… if there's anything left you don't know about me. Or if I'm only telling you things… that you already know… from my dreams."
Oh. She hadn't even thought about that…
"That's not… I'm sure there's a lot…" She wrecked her brain for something useful to say. "I mean, I don't even know what's your favourite – er… quidditch team."
He snorted. "Not telling you. That's way too personal."
Haley giggled. "Fine. I'm not telling you mine either."
Draco shook his head but he was obviously fighting a grin. It felt like winning somehow.
She reached over to pluck a stray twig from his robes. "I'm not going to get bored of you so easily, you know?" She whispered, sensing that this might be where his true worries stemmed from.
"Obviously," he replied, whispering as well. "I wasn't worrying about that." But the way he caught her hand and held onto it, gave his words a different meaning. Was it possible that he was fighting with exactly the same insecurities that haunted her as well?
"I know." She got up on her tip-toes and gently pressed her lips against his cheek. He clasped her fingers tighter.
"Come on," he whispered then. "Let's get this over with."
With that, he pulled her along toward the tree house and started climbing. Haley still thought it was too bad there was no moving staircase that magically sent them up.
From inside, the tree house was inviting as ever. The only thing that didn't quite fit into the picture was the broken guitar next to the couch. Someone had tried to fix it with spello-tape.
The sight made her feel incredibly guilty although technically she hadn't even touched the instrument.
Draco followed her gaze and frowned. He opened his mouth but somehow the words didn't want to come out. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I… I tried fixing it… but…" He shrugged.
"I could… you know…" Hesitantly, she fetched her wand from her pocket. But Draco only shook his head.
"I want to fix it myself." He almost growled. "If I can't even do that…" He shook his head, balling his hand to a fist.
Haley tried to stay patient. What was with his mood today? Seriously, he kept going back and forth between gloomy and – well, slightly cheerful. But mostly gloomy. And frustrated. Which was understandable of course. But it was hard not to let it get to her as well. What good was it if they were both dejected and hopeless? She needed to stay strong for him. Keep the light alive in his eyes.
"I'm sure you will." She said extra cheerfully. "So… should we get started? Where's the book?" She plopped down on the couch and watched him expectantly.
Not before sighing once more, Draco came over to her and placed an old potions book on the table in front of her.
"Don't be too disappointed if you don't find anything useful." Having said that, he sank into the couch lazily and closed his eyes. Hadn't he slept enough?
But then Haley's attention was captured by the plain black book lying on the table. Carefully, she picked it up and opened it to the first page.
Advanced Potions. They were supposed to work with that next year. But she'd already seen it at home in her mum's potion lab. She knew all the potions listed in the index. So, there really wasn't anything new about it to her.
Except for… the notes. There were all kinds of notes on almost every single page. Thoughts on how to brew the potions. Ideas how to improve them. But she didn't see any spells…
"394." Draco drawled in a bored tone.
What was that – oh. The number of the page?
Quickly, she opened the book to said page and found… nothing. The page was completely empty of any scribblings. Only in the right bottom corner, almost too small to see, were five tiny words.
Against true evil:
Insidio Humdrus
No more than that.
She turned the page, wondering if the person had added more details there. But all she found was the next chapter, And more annotations regarding the potion ingredients.
"I told you." Draco murmured, from his spot on the headrest. "Not that spectacular, is it?"
"There has to be more," She replied, furiously turning more pages.
"There isn't. Believe me. I may have looked for days. In the end, I barely stopped myself from throwing it into the flames."
Haley stopped. Slowly she glanced at the boy slumped across the headrest. "You didn't though."
He shrugged. "Burning books is poor etiquette."
But he didn't fool her. It sounded more like… he hadn't given up hope after all. Why would he have held onto to the book otherwise?
"Stop grinning. It doesn't mean anything." He drawled. Haley hadn't even realized she was grinning. But this was a good sign. It had to be.
A second later the book was snatched out of her hands and carelessly dropped to the floor. "Hey, what are you-?" Haley started to complain.
"Okay. We've done your stupid research. It's time for you to answer my questions now." Draco interrupted her.
"But-"
"How does it work exactly? The dream walking? How many times have you done it? Which of my dreams have you seen?" He started asking question after question like an eager curious little boy. Even the way he was sitting with his legs folded underneath him and completely turned toward her, showed how hungry he was for answers. And the way his eyes were shining…
There was no way she could deny him anything when he looked so adorable.
Smiling softly, she pulled up her legs as well and mirrored his position. "Well, I haven't counted but… roundabout twenty times maybe? Counting in mum and Simon's dreams."
"You're stalking your family, too?" He asked.
"It wasn't stalking, damn it!" She huffed, before adding in a quieter tone. "I missed them. I wanted to spend time with them."
"So… I was the only one, whose secrets you stole?"
Haley didn't reply. She didn't have to.
"I told you things about me as well, you know?" She said quietly. "Don't you remember?" His hand was right there, lying on the couch between them. Haley's fingers were itching to reach over and touch him. But she didn't know if she was allowed to. Was Draco still mad? Would he pull his hand away?
"What kind of things?" He wanted to know. He didn't seem mad. More contemplative. Haley slowly inched her fingers closer.
"Like…" She mulled it over in her mind. "That I like painting."
He rolled his eyes. "I've known that since – "
"–Third year when you stole my notebook?" She finished his sentence.
"I didn't steal it. I found it and… forgot to return it." He explained smoothly. "How'd you know that was me anyway?"
"You told me." Haley shrugged. "In that dream where we painted your tree house."
"That was you?" He asked.
She nodded. "That was so much fun! I think… it was my favourite dream."
He looked at her as if he saw the memory of the dream play out on her face. "I remember… it was a good dream." He smiled. "It felt like… I had a friend."
"Yeah." Haley agreed, her fingers finally finding his hand. "I think that was when… I stopped seeing you as a… well as a jerk who was out to make my life hell."
Something like regret flickered across his face. "I only… I only did that because… I felt so angry… and miserable. I wanted to take it out on Longbottom more than anyone but…" He stopped, glancing at the broken guitar.
"He knew your secret," Haley guessed. "You were afraid he'd tell everyone."
He nodded. "So instead… I directed all my anger at you. You who I resented because… because you chose him. You didn't even give me a chance." It almost sounded as if it still pained him. "Ultimately, I thought that it was your fault what happened to me."
Well, that hurt. "Do you… still think that?" She asked hesitantly.
"As much as I'd love to blame Longbottom for this…" He shook his head. "I know it was my own foolishness. I should never have carelessly tried out a spell I knew positively nothing about."
Haley bit her tongue. Otherwise, she might have said something like, Exactly, that was pretty stupid of you.
"Well, I guess we're even, then," she said instead.
"How so?"
"You pranked me. I went into your dreams. There's no reason for you to call me a stalker again."
"You're saying?"
"I'm saying, all of that is in the past." She grabbed his other hand as well, willing him to direct his undivided attention on her. "I forgave you for bullying me. I want… us to start again. I want to get to know you for real. And… for you to get to know me, too."
For a moment, he looked as if he was going to argue but Haley pressed her fingers to his mouth to stop him. "Don't fight me on this. You're stuck with me now."
He scoffed, pulling her hand away from his lips. "Right. You're literally my personal nightmare."
"Nightmare." She rolled her eyes. "We both know I'm the girl of your dreams."
That made him chuckle. "You're so bloody vain. I love it." He cupped her face and kissed her lips, while the words casually made her heart explode.
"I wish I remembered the dreams… like you do." He whispered against her lips. It tickled. It made her insides do somersaults. It made her want to kiss him senseless.
"I wish I'd known… it was you." He sounded so wistful. "We could have dreamed together."
"We still can." Haley breathed, feeling slightly lightheaded. A few sweet words and she already felt like jelly. She wondered if she had a similar effect on him.
"Really?" He asked doubtfully, pushing her away slightly so he could look her in the eyes.
"Course." Haley almost pouted. He was so far away…
"How does it work?"
She sighed. She so wasn't in the mood to explain things right now. "Do you still have my hair tie?"
He nodded.
"Wear it tonight," she instructed. "I'll show you."
"You will?" He sounded like a little boy. It was too cute.
"Sure." She kissed his nose fondly, resting her hand on his cheek. "It's just…"
"What?"
"Well… I'll need something… something personal." She explained.
"You're going to… come into my dreams?" He asked hesitantly.
Haley carefully watched his face for a reaction. "If that's okay with you?"
He raised an eyebrow. "Are you actually asking for permission to stalk me, right now?"
"Hush you, it's not stalking if you know about it in advance," she grumbled, poking his cheek.
He ducked out of her reach, chuckling. "All right. If you put it like that." It was impossible not to hear the sarcasm in that last part. At least the mood seemed lighter now. Playful almost.
Haley narrowed her eyes at him, pushing him down into the couch. "I might still change my mind."
He smirked up at her like the kneazle that got the cream.
"I don't think you will." Draco said mysteriously, before reaching behind his neck and fumbling with something that looked like a silver necklace. After having unclasped it, he pulled the necklace out from under his robes and held it up for her.
"What's that?" Haley asked, frowning at the charm hanging from the chain. "Is that a pick?"
Draco nodded, still with that smug grin dancing on his lips. Which was peculiar, seeing as this seemed like an ordinary guitar pick made out of polished wood. Spinning around itself like mad. She had a dozen of those at home. So why-?
"Here." He plucked up her hand and placed the charm in her palm.
And then finally – now that it wasn't spinning any more – she could make out the writing inscribed to it. Two letters: M and W interwoven in an artful manner.
"How'd you get this?" Haley almost screeched, holding the pick closer to her eyes to see if it was a fake. "That's Myron Wagtail's special pick! The one he composed his major hits with! 'Do The Hippogriff', 'Magic Works', 'Owl Me Maybe'…" How in Merlin's name did he get a hold of that? Some people said it was made of elder wood.
"I got it from Myron Wagtail, of course." He explained calmly.
"No way! You met him? When?" Haley was in full fangirl mode now. She turned it over to inspect the other side. There it was again. M and W. This time though the letters formed the words Magic Works.
"Oh, well. It was a birthday present. My father has his ways." He said it like they were talking about nothing more spectacular than a visit to the zoo.
"I don't believe this." Haley gasped out as if he'd just showed her a real life basilisk or something.
Draco grinned, taking back the necklace and reaching up to fasten it around her neck.
"Wait, what are you-?"
He shrugged. "You said you needed something personal."
"Yeah but not – I didn't mean – it can be – I – I can't accept this!" She stammered at a loss for words.
Draco rolled his eyes. "Don't get ahead of yourself. I'm lending it to you. You can just give it back tomorrow." It had to mean a lot to him. He was practically a Myron Wagtail fanboy himself. Was it really okay if she kept it? "Besides… it's not so bad if you wear it. That way, I can look at it much better."
Haley didn't know what to say. The fact that he was not only trusting her with this treasure of his but also allowing her to go into his dreams couldn't be easy. And that wasn't even everything. He was trusting her with his heart as well. Trusting her… not to hurt him.
It was something that she had always found impossibly hard. Even with Neville. Even with her closest friends.
How come it came so easy to him? But maybe it wasn't. Maybe he was also picking up all the courage he had. Funny. It almost seemed he was more of a Gryffindor than herself.
"Stop worrying. Wrinkles are not attractive." He quipped, tapping against her forehead lightly.
She pushed his hand aside and leaned down to him, nudging his nose playfully.
"Please. You said it yourself. I'm your dream girl," she whispered.
"I never said-" He protested but he didn't get to complete his sentence. He was effectively sabotaged by Haley's lips. He didn't open his mouth to keep arguing. He did open his mouth to do other wonderful things, however.
And right then, Haley decided to open her heart. If Draco Malfoy was able to act like a Gryffindor, who was she to not even try?
…ooo…
It's strange standing in front of Draco's dream door again. He knows now. Maybe he's even waiting for me behind the door. Or maybe… he's not even asleep yet. What would happen if I tried to enter his dream door while he's actually awake?
I'm not sure what it is that makes me hesitate. It's okay now. I'm allowed to go through that door. I should just… I look back over my shoulder. Next to my own door there is mum's.
Somehow I feel like I should pay her a visit. I'm sure she'd be able to help. She knows so much! Maybe she has an idea how to help Draco. If anything… he never said I wasn't allowed to tell my mum about it.
"You again." A voice pulls me back. Oh.
"Hi Myron." I greet the man in the poster absently.
"I haven't seen you in a while."
I shrug. "Haven't felt like it." The guitar that usually leans against the door is gone.
"Where's the guitar?" I wonder aloud.
"It broke." He rubs his neck, visibly uncomfortable.
"How am I supposed to get in then?"
"Only a true fan knows my motto." He says cryptically.
His motto? What could that be? Then something rings at the back of my mind. There were a couple of words inscribed to the back of his special pick… Could it be…?
"Magic Works?" I try sceptically. No way it's that easy.
Myron raises an eyebrow in challenge. "Does it?" He asks and then the door opens.
He winks at me and sends me a conspiratorial grin. "Let's find out."
Huh. Looks like Draco is much easier to read than I thought.
The door closes behind me and I'm inside a room I have seen once before. The room is big and a giant bed is located in the middle. There are two huge windows on the adjoining wall. And lots of Weird Sisters posters on the wall opposite from it. It must be Draco's bedroom at home.
He's lying in his bed, tossing and turning as if he's trying to fall asleep. I knock against the door frame lightly to get his attention.
With a groan he sits up and glares at me. "What is it? I'm trying to fall asleep!"
I chuckle. "I can see that."
"Go away then." He grumbles.
I try not to roll my eyes. "You're already sleeping."
"What?" His covers drop back to the bed. My eyes are magically drawn to his hair that's sticking up in every direction imaginable.
"This is a dream. You can stop trying to fall asleep now." I tell him patiently.
He frowns at me. Which honestly looks more adorable than it should. I walk over to him and pull at his arm half-heartedly. He doesn't get up.
"It doesn't seem like a dream." He muses, watching me doubtfully. Then something shifts in his eyes. "You're not wearing glasses."
I lift an eyebrow. "So?"
"And your hair is down."
That does make me roll my eyes. "Yes."
"It looks pretty." He says, tilting his head to the side and reaching for my hair.
I snort. "Are you saying I'm only pretty in your dreams?"
"No." He shakes his head. "You're always pretty." My heart attempts to fly out of my ribcage. "Even prettier than Cho Chang and everyone thinks she's the prettiest girl in Hogwarts." He adds, his eyes raking across my face and hair as if he'd never seen me before.
"Enough with the flattery." I say, trying to will down the heat that's attempting to flow into my cheeks. I almost forgot how weirdly honest Draco tends to be in his dreams.
"Come now. Get up." I pull at his arm again and this time he follows me. I gaze around the room, to see if there's a way I can prove to him that he's dreaming. My gaze stops at the window. How odd. It's the quidditch pitch. A quidditch game is going on at the moment. It gives me the strange feeling that I have forgotten something important. But I can't think of what it is exactly...
Draco's eyes wander to the window as well.
Surely, he understands now. It's impossible to see the Hogwarts quidditch pitch from his bedroom window at home.
"I don't remember the last time I played." He admits, gazing out of the window longingly.
That gives me an idea.
I open the window and make two broomsticks appear in my hands. "Here," I say, offering one of the brooms to him.
He watches the broomstick sceptically and shakes his head. "You know I can't fly any more." The pain reflected in his grey eyes makes my heart ache for him. I want to hug him and make him forget all his pain. But somehow, I don't think this will help him.
So instead, I push the broomstick into his arms and give him a good shove.
He falls out of the window like a stone into the sea. His screaming voice fills the air.
I sigh. This reminds me of something else. Another dream. Right. Hedwig did the same thing to me. Which makes me remember how scared I was at the time.
So… there's nothing else to do but take a deep breath and jump after him.
Moving my arms like I'm swimming, I try to get closer to his falling form.
"Ahhhh!" Still screaming.
Finally, I reach him, falling through the air beside him. The ground below us seems miles away.
"Are you insane?" He yells. "Why have you done that?"
"Use your broom!" I tell him, straddling my own broomstick. "See? It's easy."
"I CAN'T!"
"This is a dream. Try to remember what it feels like!"
The ground is coming closer now.
"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO–"
"I know you can do it!" I tell him, trying to sound encouraging and not impatient.
His eyes are filled with panic but when he finds mine, he seems to find something in them that calms him.
"I believe in you." I add, since my previous words of support seemed to help him.
He takes a deep breath, clenches his eyes shut and blindly mounts his broom, clutching it like a life line. For a terrible second he keeps falling, coming closer and closer to the ground…
I'm about to speed down and help him, when he suddenly opens his eyes and pulls up his broom.
It looks a bit like the Wronski Feint.
I stop in the air, too surprised to do anything but watch him fly away from me. I wish I could see his face. His shoulders are shaking and I wonder if he's crying or laughing.
Then he makes a turn and the sun rising in front of him lights up his face. Lights up the way he's laughing.
"I'm flying!" He blurts out, voice filled with laughter. "Did you see? I'm really flying!"
He takes up into the air again, flying loops and never stopping to laugh.
It's a sight that warms my heart. I wonder if he believes it now. That this is a dream. I don't want to tell him. Not when he looks that happy.
After I've been watching him flying for a while, sitting sideways on my broomstick, he flies back to me, coming to a halt in the air in front of me.
"This is a dream, isn't it?" He asks, his mouth pulled up at the corner.
I don't want to lie to him. So I nod slowly.
"I figured." He sighs but the smile is still there on his lips, if only a little wistful now. "Still a pretty brilliant dream." He winks.
I notice the glint in his eyes a split-second too late. Right when he's lifted his arm to push me off my broomstick. Well… I guess I deserved that.
But my fall doesn't last long. Before I can count to five, Draco appears below me and catches me, lowering me onto his broom in front of him.
"I see. You're holding grudges."
"Not at all," he replies. "Guess we're even now."
I scoff.
Then he suddenly wraps me up in his arms and kisses me, taking all the air from my lungs and making me feel even more breathless than before. Am I falling? Or flying? Is this a dream? Or reality?
"I promised, remember?" He asks, pulling away and leaning his forehead against mine. I do remember. He promised to catch me, if I fell. And he did.
I sling my arms around him, resting my head over his heart.
And then I make a promise, too.
I want him to always smile like that. I don't want him to wake up and long for a dream he can never achieve.
I'm going to do everything I can to help him find his magic again. No matter what it takes.
…
A/N: And there is another monster chapter. I don't know if you can tell but I tried to include as little angst as possible. The poor children need a break before... the next blow hits. Possibly. Who thinks it's time for Draco to meet Lily? Leave me your thoughts and stay positive!
I stole the chapter title from a song from Thumbelina, which I loved like nothing else in the world as a child. It gives me all the nostalgic feels!
Btw, are there any Untamed fans out there? I binge-watched it and the story is so amazing!