Summary: Living in that old house by yourself is lonely they said. Get a roommate they said. It would be fun they said. Yes well fortunately for herself the clowns, sirens, doctors, lawyers, armed assassins, birds, and even bats have decided to make her big "scary house" Gothams #1 crashing pad, how lucky. She should've just opened that damn coffee shop instead
A/N: Haha long time no see, whoops my bad. I'm so so sorry for not updating this, I was focused on other things, but I'll be back to a more normal update schedule soon!
What a lovely day it was.
The sun was shining, the birds chirping, and there was not a cloud in the sky. The sand beneath her was warm and inviting while the ocean reflected silvery ripples.
Nothing could disrupt the peaceful scenery.
Oh, what was that?
People screaming? Running for their lives? Children crying and chaos everywhere? And there's some man dressed in a black wet suit and red-eyed mask trying to murder someone?
Sorry didn't hear that, there's a trident-wielding king fighting him? And they were less than 50 yards away from her? There's also a giant title wave coming straight towards the shore, that's not very normal now, was it.
Of course, this just had to happen on the one day she decided to leave the Claue Manor, what did she expect? Something completely normal? A non-villain/hero confutation on the day she decided it would be nice to go to the beach? What a funny joke.
What? There are more villains running amuck? Is that Lex Luthor in some mecha transformer suit trying to punch Superman up there in the sky? Plummeting each other into the surrounding cityscape while the people below screamed.
But they weren't the only ones fighting you say? Why is that man trying to climb one of the buildings with just rope? And over there, a woman waving around some sort of wand while some demonic looking tree was smashing cars that's not something you'd see every day, probably.
At some point, Stephanie Claue decided the best and safest course of action was to slick back into her car and get the hell out of there. Giving up on her desire to have a 'relaxing' and 'uneventful' beach trip went up in smoke faster than that skyscraper did as she switched the gears of her car and speed down the back roads.
Her speeding didn't last long though, her car jolting and swerving when someone had abrupted jumped into her open side window, "What the fuck?!" she screeched, narrowly avoiding a couple of running people as she glanced over at the intruder.
A blob of red and black hair flipped into her face while the clanking of the person mallet was hazardously tossed into the back of her car, "Step on it Steph, let's get outta here!"
She shifted in the driver seat as Harley fucking Quinn stuck her head out the window screaming at the top of her lungs at one of the superpowered metahumans behind her waving, "See you later Frosty! We have to get the old squad back together!"
Incoherent shouting was thrown their way as a spray of slippery ice shot from the white-haired woman behind them causing Stephanie to go far beyond the speeding limit to avoid the ice. Beside her the clown girl flipped on the radio, talking about everything and anything with Stephanie much to her slight annoyance.
One may wonder why Harley Quinn was there, or why she even thought it was a good idea to jump inside a moving vehicle, but Stephanie had stopped asking questions at this point. Apparently, when she had 'snuck out' of the manor, Harley had been sleeping in the trunk of her car. Why she was there, she didn't know. How she got in there without a key, she also didn't know. What was she going to do about it?
Absolutely nothing.
At least there really wasn't much for her to do. She couldn't kick the girl out, she had no interest in testing out the woman's revenge skills. Nor could she just abandon her at the beach, because again, that would be bad news. So Stephanie allowed the woman to run wild, as long as she didn't incriminate her with anything.
So as expected Harley had apparently stirred up trouble with one of the local villains, some ice woman named Killer Frosty or something. Which was what ultimately led them to be speeding away from the furious woman. The only thing she could say was that thankfully it hadn't been a hero who would try to arrest them, that would be bad.
As they, Stephanie, drove down the back roads and towards Gotham, the pair noticed something odd coming their way. Slowing down a bit as it came closer, all Stephanie could make out were red streaks.
Harley had thankfully stuck her head back in the car, dozing off in the passenger seat while Stephanie was left staring at the thing, which appeared to be a person heading straight towards her. It zoomed right by the car, past her window as her eyes met with the red streak's ones.
A pair of clashing yet warm eyes met hers for the briefest of moments as time seemed to slow down as she felt like she had seen that person before but couldn't place. He seemed to recognize her too though, almost looking as like he wanted to stop only to speed up, dashing past and towards the beach from which they came.
Through it all, Harley remained asleep until the re-entered Gotham city at which point she threw her arms up and stuck her upper body out of the car roof window pointing to one of the shopping centers, "Ooh let's go over there Steph!"
Knowing that she also knew that due to their day (Stephanie's day) at the beach was cut significantly short, she truthfully had no other plans and so, albeit reluctantly, pulled into one of the free parking spots as the two got out of the car, Harley flipping out of the window with ease, as Stephanie did a far simpler approach, stepping out of the vehicle like a sane person.
The first few shops they entered were nice, nothing Stephanie would buy for herself as she was more than content with her online shopping sprees and random innate Amazon purchases, but still humored the bi-colored hair woman, trying on this and that for her entertainment.
Although she was admittedly still wary about being in another shopping place, seeing as how the last time that happened she received a concussion and added to the growing list of permanent residents, Stephanie still managed to have a good time, surprisingly.
Near the end of their three-hour shopping trip, which was mostly Harley running in and out of stores dragging her with her like a doll, the pair came to the food court. Of course, the woman, having spent all her money (having not stolen anything from what Stephanie could tell), she paid for the two of them on her master black card.
"Is that the bat symbol?"
Stephanie put the card back in her phone case, cheeks flushed, "Yea it is, uh-" she refused to meet the womans gaze, "It's an old card from when I was in middle school, back when Batman was all the craze you know? The card was from a limited edition line where it was just Superman and Batman so I impulsive bought it." She laughed softly, "It was during my rebellious 'I hate police and my parent's phase' when the masked crusader was considered a bad influence, funny how things change."
Harley nodded her head, "That's neat, wish they made cards like that for me!" Stephanie smiled, "You know they can make you a custom one right? Where you can put anything on it?"
"Wait really?!" she exclaimed, hearts almost appearing in her blue eyes, "I could get matching ones for red and I! That's the perfect gift!"
She shook her head amused, finding herself slowly getting used to her antics and even enjoying it all. The two found one of the empty tables in the food court, neither really saying much, focusing on the food and letting the muted music and lively chatter around them fill their ears.
"I was jealous of you, ya know?"
Stephanie lifted her head, finding Harley faced towards everyone around them, watching, "I thought you were trying to steal away the only person who has ever cared for me." Her eyes shifted to hers, "No one had seen Ivy for weeks, and I was so worried. She was supposed to meet up with me, on our date night we do every week, but she had missed the last few and well."
Her hands reached over to cup Stephanies, while she held her drink cup too, "when I heard she had been attacked I got so scared. She didn't call or nothing, so I went looking for her. And when I came to ya house and just saw you there I really wasn't in my best mind." She told her, trying to apologize or at least that's what it seemed like, "Even after I got to know ya a bit, I didn't like you. I thought you and Ivy were up to something, and I didn't want her to leave me."
"Do you though?"
"Do I what?"
"Do you still think Ivy and I are up to something?" Harley released her hands as she tapped her chin, "Sometimes I do, it's hard not to see things with Ivy, she likes teasing everyone so much but I think you're cool in my book now Steph."
Letting out a sigh of relief, not even realizing she had it held she smiled, genuinely this time, "That's good, I'm glad you don't think so," Harley grinned back, "We're friends right Harley?"
With glittering eyes she nodded furiously, "Of course we are!" she paused pulling Stephanie's face to her own and placing a quick kiss on her lips with a giggle, "We could always be more though, just ask Red and I would enjoy it as much as ya!"
It was Stephanie's turn to become a deep red shade, competing with the woman half red locks as she released in an unladylike squeal of surprise when their lips made contact. Pulling herself away as Harley let her go, the woman laughing happily, her hands flew to her face in shock, "I don't know what y-you mean," she exclaimed a bit louder than intended.
She grinned ear to ear, "Don't worry Steph, I won't steal you away from lover boy, but my arms and bed'll be open for ya whenever you need me!"
Sputtering, "What?! L-lover boy?! What are you talking about I don't-"
"Oh please! No need to hide things from little ole'me! You and Jason are so adorbs!" she let out a shrill squeal causing everyone around to hiss in pain from the ringing, "I won't tell him though but you betta invite me to the wedding or else! I call being the flower girl with Red alright?"
Stephanie could only stare at the woman before her, going from such a serious conversation back to her regular go-lucky self in mere seconds. "I'm not, I don't, not at all like Jason Todd or-" But despite her protests to Harley, she refused to let up, seemingly lost inside her own world filled with weddings, bells, and romance, much to her own ire.
After a bit more embarrassment, for Stephanie at least, the pair made their way towards one of the last shops. Like before nothing much happened, they went in, a few people stared at Harley, kids pointed but the woman took it all in stride, blowing kisses and winking at several of the people who not so sneakily tried taking pics.
Stephanie had opted to look at a few of the books the shop had in supply, roaming the shelves only to hit against something hard from behind.
"I'm sorry."
"My bad."
They both apologized at the same time as Stephanie looked up at the face of who she bumped into. She was met with an attractive sight if she was being honest and she was. The man was tall, with tanned skinned, dark black locks, and a sideways grin. His shirt was a bit loose, but around his arms it was tight, his muscles peeking through causing her to blush like some sort of teen girl much to her internal annoyance.
"-bout that."
"Oh no, it's my fault I should've looked where I was going," she apologized unsure what the man said earlier but tried playing it off through inferences. If there was anything she still retained from her time growing up in Gotham, it was lie until you make it, or until the law caught up with you, or you know, you died.
He gave her a smile, "Nah, it was my fault," he paused, "We aren't going to acknowledge that the other wasn't at fault aren't we?"
Stephanie chuckled nodding her head, "I believe so, yes."
He laughed with her, "Sounds about right," his eyes caught a glimpse at the books in her hands, "You like comics?"
She blinked, looking down at the Iron Man and Captain America comics in her hands, "Uh something like that. I really enjoyed them when I was younger but that was back when heroes weren't such a big thing."
The man seemed to agree to nod, "It's a bit weird to read stories with heroes now, isn't it? I was just a kid when Superman saved Metropolis that first time," he told her as the pair began to bond a bit over their shared interest but awkwardness regarding comics, "Yea considering every other person here in Gotham is a hero or villain," she added as he agreed but frowned a bit.
Their conversation trailed off before he opened his mouth again, "So I-"
BOOM
Both of them jolted, Stephanie crouching down below the bookshelves while the man popped his head out of the aisle, tensing. They exchanged a look as gunshots started going off in the distant, most likely a few shops down, by the bank.
Stephanie groaned, she forgot that this was the only mall that had a bank in it, and they just had to pick this one to go shopping with. Which reminded her that Harley was still somewhere in the shop, and considering the womans less then stellar rep, it was of both their best interests if she got them out of there as fast as possible.
"I've got to go."
"Hey I'd love to chat but I have to leave"
They said at the same time again, as they shared one last smile before Stephanie turned towards where she last saw the bi-colored haired woman as the man called out to her as he ran the other direction, "What's your name, comic girl?"
She turned back to him with an eyes roll but a smile, "Stephanie!" she hollered back as another explosion was heard, but a tad closer this time.
"Claue?!"
"Something like that!" She chuckled already guessing he knew who she was, or at least who her parents were and the amount of money in her bank account.
"-Grayson!" he said as he ran out the door, "Dick Grayson!"
She raised a bow to the name, wondering if it was short for Richard maybe? But she shook thought away, choosing to focus on the task at hand, finding the bonafide doctor but also villain turned...who knows what.
They arrived back to the Claue Manor a little past dinner time, Harley doing another flipping manuveur out of the car, all twenty-eight bags in hand, and ran through the front doors. By the time Stephanie had parked and locked the car, grabbing her own, singular, bag she entered her home, hearing the noises already echoing from Harley and Ivy's rooms (which were on the second floor).
She let out a sigh, throwing her keys into the side bowl and throwing herself into the first floors living room. Throwing off her coat and shoes she flicked on the tv as a news wrap up played.
"Earlier today the villain known as Black Mantra had attacked this beach right below us, with him billionaire and criminal mastermind, Lex Luthor, as well as several others, attacked the city. Luckily for us and everyone involved, Superman and Aquaman came to stop them while the Flash and Hawkgirl helped with the rescue crews. We can't thank them enough for all they've done today-"
Raising a brow she hummed, going to change the channel only to halt. Pictures of the city destruction were shown on the screen, before and after shots were juxtaposed with one another as several pieces of footage were played. But that wasn't what stopped her as she had seen more than her fair share of city destruction, it was, in fact, one of the heroes who had come to the rescue.
There he was. Dressed in a red skin-tight suit, his muscles on full display while he wore a cowl that covered the back of his head, chin, and under his eyes. Little yellow lighting bolts extended from the top as a large bolt was displayed on his chest.
That was the man who had zoomed by them from before. Stephanie could only stare at the hero, watching him from the footage zoom in and out of frame grabbing people and getting them far away from the wreckage.
"Strong, hot, and fast, what's not to love?"
She jolted up from the couch, almost banging her knee on the coffee table as she turned towards the voice, "Live Wire? What are you doing here? I thought you went back to your place?"
The bluish woman shrugged, "Wasn't feeling like it. Besides I kind of like it here, Gotham has terrible taste in radio shows but I'll change that soon enough." Stephanie blinked. "So you ogling the Flash I see? Didn't take you like that kind of woman Ms. Claue."
"No! I'm not into him at all! I didn't even know who he was! I just saw him earlier today and-"
"You really have some penchant for finding trouble don't you," she laughed, "Sure you don't like him," she said unconvinced. "Hmm, seems you have a thing for men wearing red," she added casually, deciding to dismiss her earlier denials.
Choking on air she shook her head, "No I have no idea what you're talking about! You and Harley are seeing things that aren't there."
"Oh? Harley sees it too? Took that clown long enough." Live Wire continued as she was taking some form of sadistic joy out of seeing Stephanie squirm and be flustered, "Well my lips are sealed, for now," she paused, "Ah and Jason is looking for you, by the way, he's in his man cave."
She rolled her eyes, "Could've said something earlier you know!" calling out to the woman who had zapped herself into the light fixtures with a laugh. Grumbling as she made her way to the downstairs, Stephnie mentally prepared herself for what he wanted.
"Hey, Jason a lightbulb told me you wanted a word."
"More like an electrocuted rat," he replied from behind his chair, flipping around to face her. His mask was off, in fact, both were off, the black semi mask he generally wore as well as his hood, giving her a clear view of his face.
"So what did you need from me?" she asked him coming towards him and stopping when they were only a few feet away, "Run out of my alcohol supply yet?" she joked but receive no light humored response he would generally give her.
"We have an issue." He said finally, eyes meeting hers almost piercing her soul, "And not just a security issue, but a 'we may have some visitor soon' kind of problem."
Stephanie leaned against one of the other chairs, "Elaborate, please."
He sighed, "When Babs, Barbara Gordon, was here a week ago, she apparently thought something was suspicious so from what my sources say," he rolled his head back, "Either the commissioner or someone else will be stopping by soon."
Her brow raised, "Someone else?" Choosing to let go what his sources were, the less she knew was still far better then knowing something she shouldn't, even if she was probably in trouble just knowing a few of the worlds most well-known villains.
"Someone like Batman."
A silent moment passed between them as she took in his words before letting out an audible groan saying the only thing she could think of:
"Well shit."
.
.
A/N: Just a heads up, no this is not going to devolve into a romance story between Stephanie and Jason, nor will there be a lot of romance, although I can't promise that. However, this is supposed to just be a fun crack-ish fic so my main goal is just to make people smile and maybe even laugh. If people are interested in romance, perhaps I'll sprinkle a little here and there, but again, not the main focus of this fic. And even if there was romance, whose to say it would be between Jason and Stephanie? I like adding curve balls to my fics.