'Speech through radio'

'Speech by signing'

"Normal speech"

Thoughts

Song: Machines

By: All Good Things

"Your impressions, Kakashi?"

"Danzo is definitely up to something. To wave Sasayaki in front of Orochimaru like that, and moreover for him to not kill or abduct him, I can only conclude that something is going down between them. Also, whoever was assigning teams to the missions should be looked into; it may have been coincidence that Tenzo with his mokuton and Itachi and I with our sharingan were also chosen for the mission, but I would prefer it not be left up to chance."

The Hokage nodded slowly, leaning back in his chair with a muffled sigh.

"I see. And Kakashi, I am truly sorry for your losses."

Kakashi rose from his crouched position, silently taking his leave.

"Oh and Kakashi…"

A beat of silence.

"You should check up on Naruto and Sasayaki every once in a while. It will be good for you."

There are some things, earth-shattering, soul bending, heart breaking occurrences that happen to us and we tell not a one.

This was one of those things.

I woke up to the chemical smell of a hospital and all the white sheets and metal furnishings that go along with the deal. I didn't even have the privacy of my own room, I was simply hidden from view by a curtain. I could hear the low rumble of conversation in the room, from other temporary patients who had visitors and nurses that were checking up on them.

I was alone in my little curtained-off space.

I had time to think, upon awakening and realising where I was. Konoha hospital. Kabuto, or maybe one of my team members must have bought me back.

And now I was stuck with Kabuto knowing I know he was a spy, I realised that Danzo set Team Ro up for some kind of deal with Orochimaru and now possibly all of them are dead.

And what did Orochimaru mean when he said 'taking an appetiser', and what exactly was in the scroll that Kabuto gave him, with the offer from Danzo?

I closed my eyes, ignoring the beeping of monitors and the buzz of conversation outside my curtain.

But a question was buzzing there in the back of my head.

(Why did Kakashi stab Yugao?)

Oh my god, I killed my idols! I killed the one meant to be the strongest ninja, Itachi!

You could not possibly understand the pure anguish-

"Nii-san! You're here!"

I was interrupted from my gloomy reverie by a loud, high-pitched voice.

My head jerked up at the familiar voice just outside my curtain.

Sasuke?

That could only mean one thing.

With delicate hands and brewing hope, I carefully reached out and grabbed the edge of my curtain, then pulled it open just slightly so I could peer out from where I lay.

Sasuke had ripped back the curtain next to mine, revealing a fully healed Itachi Uchiha. Standing next to his bedside was of course Sasuke and his mother, Mikoto. Not that I was meant to know her name, mind.

YES! Fate no jutsu strikes again! As if THE Itachi would just die, haha. What was I thinking?

Sasuke sported a completely blissful childish smile as he looked adoringly upon his brother. I intended to close the curtain again so they wouldn't notice me, but then I saw Itachi's smile.

Itachi's smile.

During the mission, he'd been stoic and expressionless and I had no doubt he was like that even when not on missions. But in the presence of his brother, that false exterior seemed to slip off.

I couldn't look away. It was simply captivating in a way I couldn't explain. Surely they wouldn't notice me if I just kept still…

"Hey, it's Sasayaki!" Sasuke thrust a finger in my direction, a shocked look on his face. "He's my classmate, what would he be doing here, in the hospital?"

He was speaking loudly despite the fact he was addressing his brother and mother. I decided to ignore the part where he screwed up my gender. Like everyone else in this world seemed to.

Welp, that lasted. Crap, what do I say to that?

I gaped, attempting to come up with a quick solution.

(Why did he stab her?)

Itachi glanced over at me, his expression falling flat.

He probably wasn't sure why Sasuke was calling me a guy. I'm clearly 100% a girl.

"He fell off a swing," Itachi decided for me. Mikoto chuckled.

Or not. Can no one tell I'm a girl? I have beautiful big eyes! And a braid! A BRAID!

Then again, I decided to keep my gender a secret from Danzo, it's my little secret. I smirked at the thought. No one knew except the Gang and Naruto.

Wait, Naruto knows right? He knows I'm a girl? He uses the suffix '-chan', but then again that can be used for girls and boys when they are young enough.

Holy shit, could it be Naruto thinks I'm a boy?

No, I did not have time to think about this right now. What was I meant to be thinking about again? Oh yes, Itachi's improvisation skills.

Sheesh, Itachi's improvisation skills are even worse than mine! Hah, as if I would ever fall off a dumb swing.

He clearly didn't know who he was talking about.

I would get him back for that.

"Really?" Sasuke darted over to me, distracted from his brother by the strange curiosity that was his classmate. "Why would you do that?"

Behind him, Itachi and Mikoto began talking in hushed tones, but my attention returned to Sasuke when he shifted in front of me impatiently.

"I- I didn't deliberately do it," I snapped, rolling my eyes.

"Are you friends with my Nii-san?" Sasuke demanded, eyes narrowing. I was about to deny it, but then a better idea popped into my head.

I nodded sagely.

"Yes, I am Itachi's friend. His best friend. He was the one pushing me on the swing!"

Sasuke's eyes lit up with jealousy. Success!

"Nii-san!" Sasuke interrupted the conversation Itachi and Mikoto were having. "Why were you pushing a kid from my class on a swing? You always say you never have time for me, but you do for him?"

Was that a flash of surprise that crossed Itachi's features? I smirked at him from behind Sasuke.

Ah, revenge is sweet.

"It was part of my… mission," Itachi said in a deadpan, his blank eyes landing on me. "He was caught defacing a building. The Hokage requested that I baby-sit him in order to ensure he does not repeat such actions."

Ouch. That hurt. Damn him making me seem like a childish troublemaker!

…

(Why did he stab her?)

Still, the idea of Itachi doing a mission so civilian such as baby-sitting was just laughable. Not that Sasuke knew that, and his mother would have caught on to what was going on here. If the odd look she was giving me was any indication, she realised that I had somehow been a part of Itachi's actual mission.

"Well, you were a terrible baby-sitter because you made me fall off the swing!"

Itachi inclined his head, as if contributing any more to the conversation would further wither his remaining sanity.

"But- but then how did Nii-san get hurt?"

I grinned devilishly.

"Well, Sasuke, let me tell you the abridged version! It all started with…"

Itachi let out a long-suffering sigh.

-20 minutes later-

"And so I ended up beating up the Kazekage for trying to steal my dango!"

Wait, did I actually end up explaining why Itachi was in hospital? Eh, it would have been skilfully mixed in with my story somewhere. I nodded to myself for my amazing bullshitting skills. 10/10.

I turned back to my audience to find Sasuke softly snoring with his head still on my bed, at some point having occupied the one seat at my bedside.

I glared at him before turning to my other probably awestruck listeners.

"…And so as I was saying, in order to make dango you need syrup-" Mikoto abruptly halted her conversation with Itachi when she realised I was staring at her dolefully.

"Er, that was a great story, Sasayaki was it?" she clapped her hands together as if that would make me feel better. She looked a little bit guilty, which did make me feel a little bit better.

Itachi glanced at Sasuke.

"Mother, perhaps you two should return home. I will be back shortly, however first I must report to the hokage."

Mikoto nodded and approached my bed to pick Sasuke up.

"Oh, and Sasayaki, feel free to come by for dinner anytime so we can properly apologise for Itachi's behaviour."

Itachi's behaviour?

Oh yea, the swing.

The offer was so out of the blue it took me by surprise. My eyes narrowed slightly, but Mikoto's smile seemed genuine.

"Thank you..?"

"My apologies, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Mikoto Uchiha. I hope to see you around!"

I blinked, then shrugged as I watched her leave.

It wouldn't be like she was inviting me over for a deeper purpose, would it? I mean, just because I'm friends, close enough to consider him my brother, with the Kyuubi's host, the most powerful tailed being. And just because there has been a recorded incident in history where the Kyuubi has been controlled by the sharingan. Pah, and just because they might be planning a coup and need all the power they can get and the addition of the Kyuubi would be all the power they need to take control of the village surely didn't contribute to her inviting me over.

I must be delusional! I'm way too paranoid these days, clearly.

I am still not accepting her invite.

Unless…

I grinned to myself as I imagined being surrounded by Uchiha. Since I'm an adult in disguise, I wouldn't be vulnerable to manipulation like Mikoto is probably expecting, providing she is inviting me for personal gain. I had the upper hand! I could pretend to be gullible but they would be the fools!

In fact, it would certainly bring me closer to finding a solution to the Uchiha clan massacre, and while they would be expecting that I'm a dumb brat I could be doing my own investigating. If I spun this right, I might even get to meet Shisui! I could get info from Sasuke! I would become his best friend and use that to-

Woah, woah, hold up there. I need to tone it down on the creepy manipulative stuff. But then again it's for the greater good.

Ugh, that sounds like something Danzo would say.

Still, plans would have to wait. For now…

"I'm going to report to the hokage, you should go, too."

And by that, Itachi meant go and report to Danzo.

It turns out, Kabuto was already there when I arrived, still in my hospital gown because my Root gear had been taken god-knows-where since I couldn't been seen anywhere near it in public. I didn't even have my mask! Talk about unprofessional conduct, plus the fact my face will be exposed to Danzo's beady little eye.

Before the entrance to Danzo's, I composed myself and breathed in deeply.

I can do this. I am a machine. Expressionless, emotionless, faceless. I don't even need my face, they are for people with emotions. Faces are overrated.

With that admittedly depressing thought in mind, I stepped into the room.

Like I said, Kabuto was there already, and so I made my way inside and to his side, remaining quiet as he recounted the mission. Danzo didn't even glance at me until Kabuto had finished.

According to Kabuto, Orochimaru had knocked the others out and he had healed them enough that they woke and could relatively safely return. And then they had returned with me and gone to the hospital to patch up the last of what needed to be healed.

Except Yugao, of course. And Tenzo.

"Tenzo was taken, as I discussed with you earlier, Danzo-sama."

My blood drained from my skin even though my expression remained frozen in that blank expression.

"I simply want you to pass on a message- tell that old, decrepit war hawk that I accept his offer- and that I'm sure he'll understand why I decided to take an appetiser. He does, after all, need to repent for his actions against me."

Tenzo was the 'appetiser'. Orochimaru had kidnapped Tenzo.

Orochimaru kidnapped Tenzo!

"Do you still intend to go through with the plan?" Kabuto continued in that droning voice indicative of a Root agent.

Danzo nodded curtly.

"I expected something to this effect. The plan will continue."

Just what is this plan? What is going on?

(Why did he stab her?)

"Usagi."

I was jerked from my stupor by Danzo's ugly, toneless voice.

It wasn't even a question, just a command. So I recounted my portion of what had happened, feeling more miserable than ever.

It was all so fucked up and confusing. Yugao hadn't died in the anime, and Tenzo hadn't been captured, and it was, in all technicality, my fault.

I have to save him. I have to save Tenzo from Orochimaru.

I wasn't like Naruto and Sasuke with their power-ups and main character benefits, I was just an average ninja. Those two will surpass anything with brute strength and ninjutsu, but I needed a different way to obtain my goals.

I won't be able to beat Orochimaru head-on anytime soon even if I train like hell because he's… well, him. I simply need to learn to run away, to be fast, and to infiltrate and get Tenzo out of his predicament without alerting anyone.

So what if I'm a coward? I'd take that over being dead any day. This was my duty, even more so because I caused it.

I thought back to my life goals, and promptly added my most recent;

1: Make friends with Naruto (check) and Sasuke in case I can't stop the Uchiha massacre so we can be friends before Sasuke turns all angst-y, and Naruto and I can support him.

2: Get Sasuke away from the Uchiha district when the massacre happens so he would not be so traumatised (if massacre happens).

3: Stay friends for life, become awesome ninja and kick Orochimaru's, Obito's and Madara's asses.

4: Get Tenzo the fuck away from Orochimaru ASAP.

I went home that afternoon, I had to sneak into Kiyoshi's house and get changed out of my hospital gown before anyone noticed.

Then I called a meeting using the whistle and Naruto, Junko, Takeshi, the twins, Akemi and Kiyoshi greeted me cheerily in the cramped space of Kiyoshi's home, asking me how the run had been. The run- because that was what Kiyoshi said I'd been doing. An errand for his friend.

I smiled.

"Yea, it was easy. What did I miss?"

Then they started chattering about what I had missed while I'd been away- apparently Emi had pulled an amazing trick using that book 'Cards, Connery and Chakra Strings' that a stranger had given them. It was written by some no-name called Mitsuo. Probably a jackass with no life who had nothing else to do but fuck around with strangers, stealing their money. Then he had the nerve to write a book about it. Blasphemous!

"Sasayaki!" Junko admonished harshly. "Think about what you just said."

Oops, did I say that aloud?

"Yea, you basically just described what we do for a living," Kiyoshi said with a mischievous grin.

The others gaped at him.

"I guess he kinda right," Takeshi added contemplatively.

"At least we have a reason!" I growled, more harshly than intended. The others fell silent again.

Akemi tugged on my sleeve.

'Are you ok?' He signed with his nimble fingers, his pale orange eyes peering at me.

From that point on, that question would be the bane of my existence. I fucking hate that question. No, everything was not ok.

While these kids had been playing House I had seen Kakashi stab Yugao through the neck like she meant nothing. Oh, and let's not forget Orochimaru kidnapped Tenzo. Yet everything just kept going on like nothing had fucking happened.

And it hadn't, not for them. And I had to keep my trap shut unless I wanted Danzo to murder me. In fact the Root seal probably prohibited it anyway, not that I was willing to test it. But the fact was I should be traumatised, I'm just a kid. No wait, that's a lie. Maybe I shouldn't be traumatised? I'm an adult, after all. What the hell is wrong with me?

No, I wasn't the problem here. Kakashi was. Here I thought he cared about his comrades and yet he led his own team into a mass suicide against Orochimaru, and he-

(Why did he stab her?)

(Why did he stab her?)

"Sasa-chan?" Naruto asked softly as I turned away from the group.

(Why did he stab her?)

All I could hear was my breathing, loud compared to the strangely muted sound of everything else. Everything seemed to slow, even I felt sluggish as I spun on my heel.

"There is something I have to do."

(Why did he stab her?)

I missed the betrayed look in his eyes, missed those wide, sad blue eyes as they tracked my retreating form.

"Well, that was weird," Eri decided with a shrug.

"Let her be," Kiyoshi said, waving dismissively, though he too watched me leave.

The ninja graveyard was a rarely frequented place in this village, and probably all ninja villages. Which is no surprise, really, after all if people mourned here every time a ninja died no one would have time for anything else.

As I walked past the numerous graves, I didn't even glance at them. I didn't even notice the chilly air causing Goosebumps on my skin, nor the whip of the wind through my hair. I had eyes only for the silver-haired man standing before one of the numerous graves, his hands in his pockets.

The grave read 'Obito Uchiha'. Was he the only one that mattered to Kakashi?

I came to a stop behind him. I knew this was rude. I knew it was considered impolite to interrupt someone while grieving, but my body felt like it was on autopilot.

"Kakashi."

Kakashi turned slowly until he was halfway facing me, tilting his head back to stare over his shoulder at me with his grey eye.

(Why?)

"What are you doing here, Sasayaki?" He didn't sound particularly surprised, perhaps just resigned.

My mouth spoke for me.

"Why are you not standing with Yugao?"

Kakashi let out a slow breath.

He ran a hand through his hair, "Whatever you want, I can't help you with it."

Because I'm just a stupid kid you don't want to spend time with?

"Yes, you can. I want to know why you stabbed her like she meant nothing, spat on her image, used her as a diversion so you could use her death to get a single, useless hit on Orochimaru." My voice was toneless but my eyes were riveted to his, waiting.

Kakashi's one eye shut briefly.

"Let me tell you something, and you're not going to like it. You are grieving and you need an outlet for your emotions. You know what I did was logical. It was an opportunity to attack the enemy while he was distracted and unsuspecting and I took it. You chose me, a convenient source to unleash your emotions upon. Yugao was already dead."

The last part was said with an intensity that caused my heart to jolt and chills to course down my spine.

"I am not grieving," I hissed, the world suddenly sharpening back into focus, and I found my grip on myself return. "I barely even knew Yugao! I have no reason to grieve her! And you have no right to tell me that, you're just trying to cover up for the fact that you spat upon her memory by stabbing her corpse!"

It felt so good, so good to cuss and curse and scream.

Kakashi began to walk away with a heaving sigh, and I followed him, fuming.

"Spat on her image, I tell you! You'll pay for this! Unlike you, I have respect for other people! You son of a bitch, you're just out of control! The Hokage needs to put you on a leash!"

Kakashi just kept walking, with me trailing him like a puppy, an angry, cursing puppy that was insulting him every three steps.

I felt my rage dwindling with each crude curse spat from my mouth, until the fire had died from my words.

We ended up walking into a small tea shop, and several patrons turned their heads to stare at the strange sight.

"Sit," Kakashi ordered, and without thinking I did so even as I continued snarling at him.

I went quiet though when the waiter approached us, because he was glaring at me and I suddenly noticed that people were still staring at me.

"A green tea pot for two, please," Kakashi said politely.

"And ten green-tea flavoured mochi," I added, noticing them on the menu.

Kakashi glanced at me sharply but didn't revoke it as the waiter nodded and walked off.

Hah, serves him right.

Anyway, where was I?

I opened my mouth, searching for another insult, but he beat me to it.

"Sasayaki, I'm going to be frank with you. We are not meant to be seen together in public, as we are not publicly associated in any way, and people will start asking questions if they see us together."

I blinked. Oh, shit. He was right. I had approached him and started ranting aloud about his incompetence. That was sure to raise some eyebrows, especially considering Kakashi was a famous ninja and I was just a gutter rat.

"Oops," I said blandly, not really sure how I should react.

"However… this may work out well. The Hokage has asked that I keep an eye on you and Naruto for classified reasons. It will be on record that I have reason to interact with you."

Wait, don't tell me… Is it because he found out I am in Root? Am I a suspect?

If I thought about it, I was definitely suspicious, befriending the jinchuuriki and also being a part of Root. Of course the Hokage would want me watched, probably trying to figure out if Danzo had any intentions for Naruto by using me. Which he did, but still.

"Oh," I breathed. How did I not expect this already?

The tea and mochi arrived, giving me a small reprieve and I immediately dug into the sweets. I had never eaten a mochi before, but as I bit into its soft, comforting exterior and let the flavours spread over my tongue I fell in love.

This was the best shit on earth! How had no one told me about mochi before?

I was so glad I had ordered ten.

"Did you know that, since you are in the academy, you are eligible for an apartment at this age?" Kakashi asked softly, watching me stuff my face.

I halted mid-chew.

I was almost sure you had to be eight or above! Was this a new rule or something? Still, I could feel myself growing excited. Here was something to look forward to!

"Really?" I asked through a mouthful of mochi. "Sign me up! And Naruto! Ooh, can we get a joint apartment?"

We could even bring in beds for the Gang! This was perfect! This was just what we needed.

Kakashi's eye crinkled in a smile.

"Perhaps. I will arrange it with the Hokage. Bring Naruto and meet with me next week. We will sort out the details then."

That night didn't turn out how I expected. I expected to have a screaming match with Kakashi. Instead, I would be getting a new apartment curtesy of the man I had intended to shred apart. He also led me to discover mochi, so really I had a lot to thank him for.

And despite everything else, I smiled.

Song: Machines

By: All Good Things