Chapter 2: At Your Service

There is the small snapping and slight sizzling sound as a match is lit.

The hiss as a small flame ignites a candle wick.

The click of a key as a box is opened.

The small plop as the cap of an inkwell is opened.

The scratching of a quill as it writes over the pages of a large leather bound red book.

My dear Frodo.

You asked me one once if I had told you everything there was to know about my adventures. And while I can honestly say I have told you the truth, I may not have told you all of it.

I am old now, Frodo. I'm not the same Hobbit I once was.

I think it is time for you to know what really happened. It began long ago in a land far away across the shining seas.

A world of men, though not men like you'll find here on this middle earth. A world of strange wonders and unheard-of inventions. With great cities made from metal and money made from paper.

It was in such a place that SHE was born. A young woman who would, unknowingly, change the world as we know it, and in more ways than we can possibly imagine.

The elves call her Calenhyrin. The Dwarves call her Zarsûna, and amongst man she has many more names, the most common being "the Green Lady".

But I just knew her as Ariel Brooks…

Ariel wiped her nose as she shivered in the cold night air.

She was striding up the long winding road that looped up around the hill like a great snake. Alongside her little homes with doors far shorter than her average frames were shut, the lights behind their windows either lit dimly from within or completely black as their owners rested from a long day's work.

She drew her green cloak tighter about her form as she rounded yet another bend in the road, clutching her hood tight about her head so that she could cover her freezing ears. She was glad the dark green dress and corset she wore were sturdy and thick, and that her brown boots were long, because she didn't think she'd ever have been able to handle this cold in the clothes she had first arrived in.

Man if my friends could see me now…

Ariel sighed as another cold gust of wind whipped about her.

She couldn't see why she had to leave her horse behind at the inn. If she hadn't she'd have been up this hill a lot quicker.

Damn old man! I get he doesn't want to make a scene but still…brr, damn its cold.

She bristled, teeth chattering slightly as she turned around another bend, only to stop dead in her tracks as she caught sight of a group of people just ahead of her. Or rather a group of very stout short men, led by a very tall man with a large grey hat.

It was he who turned to face her, his bright eyes twinkling as he smiled at her from beneath a long grey beard.

"Ah Ariel, there you are. I was beginning to worry"

"No need to worry old man. I was just sightseeing" Ariel smiled, her heart leaping in her chest with both excitement and anxiety as she looked over the other figures

Were these the rest of the dwarves?

From watching the doors of the hobbit hole, she knew Dwalin, Balin, Fili and Kili had already come into Bag End from the other direction of the road. Though she had not met them or seen them up close, they had matched the descriptions Gandalf had given her to a tee.

And speaking of dwarves…

She blushed and dipped her head down a little under her hood as she caught sight of the dwarves' curious expressions as they assessed her. Most of them seemed politely interested, others not as impressed.

Gandalf however was not perturbed.

"Gentlemen me to introduce my new apprentice, Lady Ariel Brooks. Ariel this is the company…or at least eight of them. This is Gloin, Oin, Nori, Dori, Ori, Bifur, Bofur and Bombur"

Ariel did her best to commit all the dwarves' names and faces to memory, though admittedly it wasn't hard for her to overlook Bombur for he was massively fat like a drum.

She curtsied politely as they all gave sweeping bows muttering "At your service" one after the other before Gandalf addressed her once more.

"My dear just how long have you been walking? I could've sworn you left before us…"

Oh yeah right, he said for me to go on ahead.

"um…about an hour or so" she shrugged only to see some of the dwarf's eyebrows shoot up. "I took a wrong turn and had to double back."

"An hour milady?" one of the shorter younger looking dwarves, in grey and brown with a shortish beard, said worriedly "In this night air and in that thin cloak. You'll catch a chill if you're not careful."

"Ori that thin cloak as you call it" Gandalf rolled his eyes impatiently "was fashioned by the elves and it is highly effective in its duty to its wearer. But we haven't the time to discuss fashion or the night air. Let us just get inside as quick as maybe."

And with that they all began making their way up the hill towards a round green front door.

Poor Bilbo Baggins was almost at his wits end as he watched with despondent desperation, twelve dwarves run amok about his house. He was especially dismayed when he discovered that his wonderfully fully stocked pantry had been all but ransacked, and had been left with nothing save a couple of condiments that had been hidden on one of the highest shelves.

He could barely tell who was taking what and had only just managed to tug some prize tomatoes he himself had grown from the hands of a dwarf. Meanwhile behind him, Gandalf stooped out from the dining room and began counting off the names of his company.

"Uh, Fili, Kili. Uh…Oin, Gloin, Dwalin, Balin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Dori, Nori, Ori. Yes, you are quite right Bifur" The wizard nodded quickly as the dark shaggy haired dwarf passed him and spoke in a gruff and completely unintelligible tongue accompanied by a brusque hand movement.

"Is something wrong?" Ariel asked as she poked her head out from the dining room where she had been trying to quietly set places at the table. There was so much food set on it that it was beginning to groan alarmingly under the weight.

Gandalf looked at her and smiled.

"Oh nothing is wrong, we're just one dwarf short"

"He is late, is all" Dwalin nodded gruffly from the wall he was leaning against as he sipped a tankard of beer "He travelled north to a meeting of our kin. He will come"

"Mister Gandalf" Dori, a dwarf with a grey beard, quickly piped in as he came into the room, holding up what appeared to be two tiny shot glasses full to the brim with red wine. "A little glass of red wine as requested. It's got a fruity bouquet"

"Oh cheers" Gandalf took the tiny glass with a smile just as the dwarf turned to Ariel and smiled at her.

"And you milady? What will you be having?"

"Oh no, it's alright I'm fine thank you" Ariel smiled politely before quickly glancing down beside her where Bilbo was trying and failing to regain his composure, his furry feet nervously tapping as they tried to decide which direction to go in.

Poor guy…

She sighed softly to herself taking in his now haggard appearance. She guessed it was only natural. From what she could remember of the books, Bilbo had only thought Gandalf would be calling in to his house. He hadn't expected twelve or thirteen raucous dwarves to come barging in and pillage his pantry.

It was a hard slog for Ariel to get small snippets of food from the table seeing as they were all tucking in heavily, Bombur catching a boiled egg whole in his large and mostly full mouth with many a cheer from the others.

Like first day in the school cafeteria all over again

Eventually after several tries and attempts to squeeze her way in, and watching a rather long sculling of beer, and a spectacular belching competition, Balin's kindly but sharp eyes caught sight of her.

"Are you alright lass? You look a little out of sorts"

"What? Oh. No I'm fine…I guess I'm just a little…uh…from the journey" she shrugged. She tried to back away quickly not wanting to cause any trouble but he quickly pulled her back by the cape.

"Well if you're tired then you must eat and regain your strength. Come lass let's make room for you" and with that Balin turned slapping at both Kili and Fili who sat beside him.

"Oy you two rascals, where are your manners there is a lady present."

The two young brothers both looked rather taken aback for a moment as they glanced around for a sign of what their elder was talking about. They were quick to catch sight of Ariel who was trying her best to stand back with her hands fiddling in front of her nervously.

"Oh goodness lass. We're so sorry we didn't see you there! Here please sit"

Kili quickly scooted over so that there was a gap between himself and his brother who swiftly snatched her an empty plate up and began filling it quickly with food, which was probably for the best considering how spiritedly Bombur was devouring nearly everything in sight, including the gigantic rolls of cheese.

"There you go that should fill you right up"

"Thank you" Ariel flushed pink suddenly feeling very shy as her stomach made a loud grumble at the sight of her full plate.

"Is no problem miss…?"

"Ariel" Ariel nodded as she accepted cutlery from him, blushing to the roots of her hair.

"Ariel…it's a pleasure to meet you"

"It's nice to meet you too um…Fili is it?"

"The one and only" Fili grinned before standing up to his feet and sweeping into a low bow.

"Fili son of Boli and Dis of the house of Durin. At your service miss Ariel. And that there is my younger brother Kili" Fili nodded back at his younger brother Kili who quickly swooped in from the side with a cheeky lopsided grin and glinting bright eyes.

"My lady" he gave her a tiny wink.

If Ariel had thought, she was pink before it was nothing compared to the almost magenta shade as her hand was swept up towards the youngest dwarf's stubbled chin so that he could graze his lips over her knuckles.

"So…Ariel? Wow what a name! So unusual, but very fitting for a sweet young maid such as yourself. Tell me what does it mean?"

"Uh…it's kinda got two meanings" she gulped her eyes darting down to her lap. "In Elvish it could mean Daughter of the sea, but in the tongue of my people it means Holy Lioness."

"A lioness? HA! More like a lion cub" Came a gruff bark and Ariel turned to see a rather dwarf with tattoos and knuckle dusters sitting just on the other side of the table across from her.

He cast quite a terrifying image what with the tattoos and battle scars marring his large bear like arms, not to mention his beard was long and shaggy. But what caught her attention the most were his eyes, dark but shrewd even as they made to assess her with mounting suspicion and doubt. It was a look that she just noticed, that a lot of the older dwarves were sparing her.

Ok I was wrong…this is so much worse than first day at school…

"Excuse me but I don't think I quite caught that Mister…?" she replied doing her best to keep her voice and face as cool as possible.

"Dwalin son of Fundin" the gruff dwarf, Dwalin, snorted as he took a swig of his drink. "And I was saying, that yer seem less like a big cat and more like a little kitten"

"maybe… but even a kitten can still draw blood when it scratches"

There was a small pause in many discussions around the table as all the dwarves made to watch the exchange with intrigue. Indeed, Fili was quirking an eyebrow at his brother as they watched Ariel bristle ever so slightly in her seat as she responded quietly.

"She has a point there" a dwarf with a funny hat, whom Ariel recognised to be Bofur, murmured to the small cardigan bearing form of Ori who was looking nervously at Dwalin.

The older dwarf's face was remarkably blank even as he looked the girl before him straight in the eye. Ariel looked straight back, willing herself not to break eye contact though internally she was screaming to just look back down into her plate and sink away to be invisible.

Then suddenly Dwalin burst out chuckling, the sound rather deep and booming but jovial all the same as he threw his head back hard.

"HA! I like you kid! You've certainly got spunk! Hey Gandalf where did you find this little fire cracker?"

"Oh…I wouldn't say that I found her." The Grey Wizard shrugged almost nonchalantly though his eyes did twinkle a little "Rather I'd say she found me. And a good thing too considering… …"

"Considering what?" Ariel tilted her head but Gandalf just smiled as he sat in his seat and took out his long wooden pipe from his satchel.

"Nothing my dear, now why don't you eat before your food gets cold"

Ariel nodded.

Quickly she began to eat trying her best to be as neat and as ladylike as she could. And yet despite her much cleaner manners the speed at which the food disappeared off her plate was just as astounding as the dwarves around her who were watching with great intrigue.

"Well someone is hungry" Kili sniggered as he watched the girl shovel the last bite off her clean plate. He winced as Balin slapped him hard over the back of his head much to everyone's amusement.

"Manners."

"It's alright. I actually haven't eaten since the morning anyway" Ariel grinned reaching out for a small warm roll of bread in the centre of the table which she quickly began to munch upon.

"So Lass" Gloin's voice spoke from his spot opposite her at the table "Since we are all going to be traveling together for a while, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself"

"Um…ehe" Ariel laughed nervously scratching the back of her head. "I'm not sure if there's much to tell. My name is Ariel Brooks, I'm seventeen years old. My father Calvin is a carpenter, and my mother Nora is a flower seller and my elder brother was studying law-" she was glad she had a piece of bread in her mouth for it masked whatever tenseness she had in her jaw.

"And you ended up a wizard's apprentice?" Nori raised his brows. "No offence but that is rather odd occupation for a young lady isn't it?"

At this Gandalf's voice arose from his end of the table and his voice was calm and jovial, though he gave Ariel a pointed look as if to say "let me handle this".

"That is true. However, Ariel has already demonstrated a fair aptitude for magic, and whilst it is remarkable in its own right it would be beneficial for her to start learning to harness such talent from an earlier age when it is easier than leave it to fester and run amok untrained"

"Aye fair enough" Dwalin and some of the older dwarves nodded grimly, though Kili looked very excited as he beheld his new neighbour who was now nibbling nervously on a piece of crust.

"You can do magic? That's incredible? What kind?"

Ariel glanced around the table. All the Dwarves and Bilbo, who had just walked in from his hallway, were now sitting or standing still gazing at her expectantly. She gulped nervously.

"It's alright Ariel you can show them" Gandalf's voice was gentle.

"Okay…but just don't be disappointed if it doesn't work…I'm still just getting used to it" Ariel nodded, taking a deep breath as she reached backwards for her staff which she pointed carefully at the bowl of gorgeous fresh whole tomatoes.

Grow…

At first she thought she had failed for whilst the green gem in her staff glowed brightly nothing seemed to happen. And then suddenly without warning Ori gave a cry out in alarm and everyone jumped.

The before all their eyes the tomatoes were slowly but surely beginning to expand outwards, almost as if they were inflatable balloons.

Stop

She quickly commanded as they became almost as big as a small rockmelon each, the vines joining them together now thick as normal twigs.

There was a heavy silence as all the men in the room stared between the overgrown food and the young girl with wide eyes. Indeed, Bilbo's eyes were wider than his dinner plates.

She grew the tomatoes…she grew the tomatoes that were already picked…all with just a wave of that stafff?

Too astounded to speak he quickly turned to look back into his pantry just as loud cheers sounded from his dining room. However, the sight before his eyes did nothing to alleviate his bewilderment.

His entire pantry was completely empty. There was not one shelf left untouched. Even all his best cheeses were demolished.

Why me?

He thought despondently as he made his way into his kitchen where a couple of dwarves were currently standing about chatting over large mugs of beer, one of them taking a small square of woven lace and wiping his mouth on it.

Alright I've been tolerant for long enough

The poor Hobbit strode forwards and yanked the cloth out of Bofur's hand.

"Excuse me but that's a doily not a dishcloth"

"But it's full of holes" Bofur shrugged, unperturbed by Bilbo's obvious aggravation as his control was starting to dangle by the thinnest of threads.

"It's supposed to look like that it's crochet"

"And a wonderful game it is too, if you've got the balls for it" at this all the Dwarves in the room chortled.

Bilbo however huffed angrily as he stormed back to a shelf to tuck the small doily away before it could be damaged any further.

"Be-bother and confiscate these Dwarves!"

"My dear Bilbo whatever is the matter?" Gandalf asked concernedly as he came in from the dining room.

"What's the matter?" Bilbo snapped irately "I'm surrounded by Dwarves. What are they doing here?"

"Oh they're quite a merry gathering, once you get used to them" the old wizard added trying his best to give an encouraging smile down at his host, but Bilbo was clearly not impressed.

"I don't want to get used to them." He hissed as he led Gandalf through the rooms and around the disaster zone that had once been his comfortable little home "Look at the state of my kitchen. There's mud trod into the carpet. They've pillaged the pantry. I'm not even going to tell you what they've done in the bathroom. They've all but destroyed the plumbing. I don't understand what they're doing in my house! Agh!"

His small cry mingled with that of a young woman's as Ariel accidentally bumped into him her plate accidentally tipping some reddish watery liquid all over the smaller hobbit's brown curly locks.

"Oh goodness I am so sorry" Ariel spluttered sounding just as mortified as he felt. She couldn't believe she'd accidentally spilled Tomato water all over Bilbo Baggins within barely a few hours of knowing him. "Really Mister Bilbo I am so sorry-"

It's official…this has got to be without a doubt the most embarrassing night of my life.

Both hobbit and girl thought in unison.

As the substance dribbled over his face and over his lips, Bilbo caught the strong taste of tomato and sighed heavily in aggravation.

"It's alright miss. I was just going to wash up anyway"

"No, I really am sorry" Ariel insisted feeling her gut eat away at her with guilt "I mean for everything. I wasn't looking at where I was going and I've kind of assisted in demolishing or mutating what was once in your pantry-"

"It's alright" Bilbo put a hand up quickly to stop her. It wasn't that he was angry at the girl, what had just happened was clearly an accident, and judging by her previous behavior she was herself new to this company of loud boisterous Dwarves. And so, it was with a great deep breath that he forced himself to speak calmly. "I understand."

Ariel bit her lip trying not to glance in the direction of Gandalf who was watching their interaction quite closely and curiously.

"Here" she held out her hand, the one not holding the now empty plate, in which she had folded up neatly a proper cloth napkin.

"…Thank you" Bilbo murmured quietly as he took the cloth and began dabbing at his face and hair.

And he sincerely was thankful. She was perhaps the only other person who seemed to understand his predicament that evening. His gratitude however was cut short as he saw Ori enter the room holding up his own clean plate.

"Excuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?"

"Tip it on my head perhaps" Bilbo muttered under his breath though when Ariel caught his eye she saw that there was perhaps a small twinkle of amusement.

She sighed slightly with relief just as Fili strode in and quickly snatched both her's and Ori's plates in his hands.

"Here you go Ori, give them to me"

And with that he quickly threw them in the direction of Kili who had just come out of the kitchen, only for him to expertly fling them back inside.

Then suddenly from the dining room somebody threw two more plates at Fili who then chucked them to his brother, who started to get into a rhythm as he passed the plates on into whoever was catching them in the kitchen.

Poor Bilbo began to panic once more as one by one every single one of the dishes and plates he owned was thrown across the room in front of his horrified eyes.

"Take that back! No excuse me! That's my mother's West Farthing pottery, it's over one hundred years old!"

Ariel would have been worried at this statement had she not been so impressed by how skilled the dwarves were with their task. It seemed their dexterity extended further than their usual craftsmanship in stones and metals.

And speaking of metals…

Ariel felt her heart brim with excitement as she heard a rhythmic thumping and clashing as the Dwarves in the dining room began to bump and slice their knives and forks against the table and one another.

Oh god…it can't be

"And can you not do that you'll blunt them" Bilbo cried out in alarm only for the dwarves to all laugh.

"Ooh you hear that lads he says we'll blunt the knives"

"Blunt the knives bend the forks" Fili sang.

"Smash the bottles and burn the corks" Kili sang.

"Chip the glasses and crack the pla~tes. That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!" they all sang in unison.

And at that some of the dwarves begin to play flutes from their packs as others continued to sing loudly slide the plates across the table to be "cleaned" by Bombur who it seemed was substituting for a garbage bin with the amount that he was consuming. They were having such a merry time that even Fili quickly pulled Ariel into a small gig with him around the entrance hall of the hobbit hole, which was met with much jovial cheers and clapping.

"Cut the cloth, tread on the fat. Leave the bones on the bedroom mat. Poor the milk on the pantry floor. Smash the wine on every door! Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl. Pound them up with a thumping pole. And when you're finished if they are whole, send them down the hall to roll"

Ariel could not help but smile with glee as her partner held his hand for her to spin around one last time as the singers all cried out loudly.

"That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"

Bilbo quickly lurched forwards at the last word to look wildly between the shoulders of two dwarves only to see to his uttermost astonishment all his plates and dishes neatly stacked one on top of another, with no cracks and no damage whatsoever.

"Ha did you see his face" Bifur chortled just as Oin cried out towards Fili's and Ariel's direction.

"And did you see our new friend's lovely footwork"

Ariel giggled brightly much to the delight of the company around her who all turned and gave her and Fili a small smattering of applause. She curtsied to them all, blushing shyly to the roots of her red-brown hair as Kili whooped loudly only to be smacked on the back of his head once again for his cheek by Balin who shook his head with an exasperated smile.

She turned back to Fili just as he made to bow low before her.

"Thank you for the wonderful dance miss Ariel"

"Oh...I'm-I'm not such a good dancer really" Ariel's blush deepened as she smiled bashfully. "If anything I should be thanking you for being such a good partner"

"Nonsense" Fili smirked as he straightened up "You are wonderful and light on your feet. I shall be delighted to dance with you again when the next good song arrives my lady"

"Well I look forward to it kind sir..." Ariel smiled as chuckling he took one of her hands in his own and politely pressed his lips over her knuckles.

Thump! Thump! Thump!

Ariel quickly wheeled about as everyone around her fell into a hush.

Even Gandalf's eyes grew serious as he paused, his now lit up smoking pipe halfway to his mouth.

"He is here" he murmured standing to his feet he quickly glanced at Ariel who nodded nervously before timidly reaching out to the round front door and pulling it gently open.

What she saw made her gasp softly and her eyes widen in shock.

A Dwarf in thick clothing and a fur lined cloak entered the house. He was tall by the standards of his people, the top of his head reaching Ariel's chin. His bearing was proud and straight to match his regal face which was framed by long black hair and beard.

Despite being taller than him, Ariel suddenly felt remarkably small as he spared her a piercing glance with a pair of bright blue eyes. After a quick assessment, and a small derisive snort, he he turned his imperious gaze upon Gandalf who had stepped forwards to greet him.

"Gandalf. I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way, twice. I wouldn't have found it at all had it not been for the mark on the door"

"Mark?" Bilbo cried out "There's not mark on that door. It was painted a week ago"

But even as Ariel quickly peeked over the side of the said door she saw glimmering in the light of the moon a thin rune scratched very finely into the green paint along the wood.

"Actually Bilbo there is a mark" She gave the hobbit an apologetic look.

"Of course there is one" Gandalf rolled his eyes "I put it there myself. Bilbo Baggins, Ariel, allow me to introduce the leader of our company; Thorin Oakenshield"

TADAA! here we are Thorin has arrived! and Ariel's met the company and Bilbo Baggins.

and just as an aside to any of you who want to see funny things about the hobbit, have a look at PeckishOwl's Oakentoons on DeviantArt. The best has to be the one called Oakentoon #91: He's got a dream. It's Tangled meets Hobbit and it's just ROFL HILARIOUS!

Anyways apart from that i hope you enjoyed the chapter and keep reading and reviewing for more.

Cheers

FuzzyBeta