He and Caroline continued their little affair through the summer.

He wasn't sure about much, but he was sure he really liked this girl. He liked how she made him feel. He liked how she let him fuck her any way he wanted. He liked how she made him laugh and made him smile. He was cautious, but he really thought he might be in love with her.

He tried to be more affectionate during their rounds. He tried to show her that he appreciated her. He was gentler now. He tried to make sure she was as pleased as he was.

He wasn't sure really what love was. He hadn't known it through his entire life. But he tried, based on what he observed.

He began bringing her flowers and small gifts he had made. She seemed tickled each time, making over them for hours. God, it made him feel good to have approval like that for the first time. She always kissed his cheek when he brought her something, standing on her tiptoes to plant the sweet kiss. He felt human for once. He felt normal. Maybe, just maybe he had a chance at happiness for the first time in his life. Maybe he could live a normal life, after all.

It was early August. Otis was working at the shop, waiting for the night. He eagerly awaited the evenings now that he spent them with her.

He went to her home that night, bringing her flowers once more.

They were at it again. She tried to pin him to the bed, trying to get the upper hand this time, trying to be on top. He started to panic, beginning to shake under her as he stared up, wide eyed. She ignored him and kissed his neck.

"N...No...Let me up...You can't do that..." He tried to push her off.

"What?"

He shoved her off of him roughly, earning a disgruntled squeak from her. "I said you can't do that..."

"Do what?"

"Be on top of me..."

She smirked. "Why? Did your daddy fuck you?"

He gulped. "Y...Yeah..."

She laughed. "What? Seriously?!" She rolled off of him. "That's fucking disgusting! Ugh." She laughed cruelly. "You've got daddy issues. Your daddy fucked you!" She mocked. "Did you take it up the ass like a man? Did you cry like a little girl? Or did you want it? Did you think it was hot? I bet you did. I bet you moaned like a ghost."

Otis shrunk back. He couldn't believe this was the same girl.

"You're disgusting. I never would have fucked you if I knew that. You're a fucking freak, anyway. You belong in a side show. That's all fine and good. My boyfriend is coming home next week. I can go a week without your mediocre dick."

She all but shoved him out the door to stand in the streets, dumbfounded.

Her words had stung and cut deeply. He had thought she cared about him. He had thought she liked him as much as he liked her. He held the flowers he had brought her in his hand as he shuffled back to town. His parents had been right. He was unlovable. They had broken him. No one would ever want him now. No one would ever want the albino freak who was raped by his daddy.

He tossed the flowers in a puddle to wilt. How fucking stupid could he have been to think she liked him back? Fucking idiot. He was just a plaything to her. Just a fuck buddy until her boyfriend came back into town. How could he have been so foolish? How could he have thought he could have happiness in this cursed life?

God, her words hurt. They stung like wounds from a whip. She had taken his suffering as a joke. He should have never told her. He should have just flipped her over and dominated her. He should have killed her where she lay. Fucking bitch.

When he got back to his apartment, he stood in front of the mirror, staring at the clippers. No. He wouldn't let their voices dictate him anymore. He would look how he wanted to and he who he wanted to be.

Rage boiled in him, and he punched the mirror, shattering it. He hated himself. He hated that reflection. Hated how much pain the pale skin and red eyes had brought him. It wasn't his fault. None of it was his fault, but he was the one to suffer.

He sat on the edge of the bed and put his fists to his head, pounding his forehead until it ached. He tried so hard to hold back tears, but they came anyway.

"Why? Why!? No! NO!" He sobbed. He didn't want to cry over that stupid fucking girl. It wasn't even really about that- it was her words. Making light of his suffering, something that he found to be so horrible and so painful, she made fun of him for. She had called him a freak.

No one would ever want him. But that was okay. He would just take what he wanted instead. Fuck everyone else.