Chapter 18: Photographs

Bucky sat on the side of the lake, throwing pebbles into the smooth surface, and counting the number of times each pebble skipped. This spot seemed even more like home now that he had spent so many months away.

"Welcome home!" Bella said when she saw him. She threw her arms around him and sat beside him on the bank.

"Awwww, doll, with a greeting like that you make it seem like you missed me!" he said.

"I did! It's been too quiet here. You've had your little herd of friends coming to ask about you nearly every Saturday. They accepted me as a consolation prize a few times, but I am not anywhere near as cool as 'White Wolf'. You also had a few visitors from Mama W'Kabi's village…and pretty much all of W'Kabi's village came by to see if you were home yet."

"A few came and found me in the city," Bucky said. "I was glad to have visitors, though I think my favorite visits were when you came and brought me jerky."

"And was that because I brought you jerky or because I came?"

"I wouldn't have written you letters every week asking you to bring me jerky if I didn't think you'd be the one to bring it," he said with a wink. "Are you from the palace?"

"Yes. I had a four day rotation guarding the royal family. I have two days off and then I'll go back again."

"See! Two days for us to plot and pillage and plunder! I've got a whole computer full of movies for us to watch and I even dug up a game of checkers. If you are feeling adventurous, I can challenge you to another rematch."

"Which you will lose…again."

He clicked his tongue. "Don't get cocky, now. Okoye has been giving me some new vampire-proof fighting skills that she assures me will be effective."

"She's never beat me either."

"Yet. She's never beat you yet. There's always a first time."

Bella gave him a doubtful glance and he shrugged.

"So, are you going to stay here or go back?" Bella asked, hesitation marring her voice.

"I'm going to stay here."

"You spent four months shadowing each of the tribes and still you are coming back here? You weren't inspired to stay in the city or join the military?"

"Nah. I have spent enough of my life in the military, thank you very much, and as beautiful as Birnin Zana is, I much prefer the village life. I suppose my old age is showing."

"Or it shows you have good taste."

"Well, I thought that was obvious," Bucky replied. "I gotta say, I've visited most of the major cities of the world and cities, they are all the same. Even the golden city of Birnin Zana-it's noise and dust and wheels and busy people doing busy things. I'm tired of all the rushing. Nothing sounds as good as sitting here on the side of this oversized puddle and watching the clouds go by."

"I think you made the right decision," Bella answered. She tucked her hair behind her ear and reached out for the large envelope sitting on the grass next to Bucky.

"What's this?"

"Something I wanted to show you," he said. She opened the envelope and pulled out a handful of faded photographs.

In the first, a much younger Bucky posed in a jaunty hat and military uniform. The next showed an even younger Bucky surrounded by his parents and three brothers. The final portrait revealed a scrawny, short Steve Rogers arm-in-arm with Bucky.

"Oh! You were so handsome!" Bella gushed.

"Was? I do not like your usage of the past tense."

"Where did these come from?"

"Chuck Norris was able to dig these up, along with a collection of letters my mother saved from my war years. He also found photos of the graves of each of my parents and all three of my brothers."

"Oh, Bucky. They are all gone?"

"Long gone. Our last born died peacefully in his sleep as an mzee in 2016. There's a flock of nieces, nephews, and their families still around somewhere."

"I'm sorry."

He shrugged and put the precious pictures back into the envelope.

"At least now I know. And I remember them."

"Captain Rogers was so tiny!" Bella said.

"That's how I knew him most of our lives," Bucky said.

"How did you meet him? Tell me about him and your family and everything!" she said.

"Everything? You planning to stay up all night?"

"If that's what it takes."

"Alright, doll, you win. So, Steve… I wasn't much taller than your waist when I met Steve. I found him getting beat up in a back alley and gave the bullies a proper beating from someone their own size. Steve told me I should have let him handle it and that he had it under control. Secretly, he appreciated, or so I tell myself. We were inseparable ever since.

"We both were poorer than church mice. Steve's folks, they were some of them new Irish, the ones fresh off the boat. Catholic, spoke Gaelic, and all. Steve's pa died not long after I met him and then his family got even poorer. His ma took odd jobs sewing or cleaning for some richer folks on the other side of the city, but it was never enough. It's good he never really had a growth spurt cause he almost never got new clothes. His ma just patched up his clothes with bits of thrown out rags she got from those fine houses she cleaned at.

"We weren't much better off. My pa died before our lastborn could walk, but he set my ma up pretty for at least a few years with some business investments of his. The crash of '29 took all that away and my ma had to find work. She got hired as a nanny for some family and then as a cook for another-that woman could cook, let me tell you. I think that's why I grew so well. Anyhow, she worked hard and long, but we got by and at least had enough to eat and new clothes on Christmas. Our flat had access to a toilet down the hall and heating to keep us warm in the coldest days of winter, so we were better off than a lot of folks.

"Those days, they said one in three New Yorkers was out of work. Men and women lined up for half a day to get a loaf of bread. We knew kids growing up in shacks made out of old boards, cast off wood, and curtains right in the middle of Central Park. It was bad.

"Anyhow, when Steve's ma died of tuberculosis, we were old enough to take care of ourselves at least, and Steve came to live with us. Ma always had a soft spot for him, seeing as he was so polite and helpful and worked hard not to be a bother to her. We put some cushions on the floor each night so he had a spot to catch some shut eye-we only had one room ourselves for ma, by three brothers, and I. We all shared.

"During the day, we studied hard and after school, we found any work we could. We both delivered papers, shined shoes, and swept shops-anything we could find to buy some bread, chewing gum, bathtub gin, and comic books.

"The war helped. The navy yard and shipping yards were hoppin' and factories pumped out uniforms to send to Europe. We found work easier but then Ma got sick and, well, we were back to two making rent instead of three. My two oldest brothers had to find work so we could make ends meet. Ma was never quite the same after that.

"Not long after, my name came up in the draft and I found myself going to war. The pay was good, better than any I'd ever had, and it was regular. I was nearly 25 by then and moved quickly up the ranks. That also meant I ended up overseas faster.

"That was hard on Steve. We'd been inseparable for most of our lives and all the sudden I was gone and doing what he wanted to do but couldn't.

"I thought I was hallucinating, when Steve came and rescued us from Hydra that first time. The scientists there had been using me as human lab rat for so long, I was convinced I'd gone off my rocker. I mean, the last time I'd seen the guy he was about your size, asthmatic, and couldn't lift a sack of flour off the floor, let alone another person. All the sudden, he shows up, over a foot taller, muscled like a fighting bull, and leading a charge through an enemy territory. I thought for sure it was the end of me.

"But that was when the real fun began. Steve and I, we fought side-by-side, I suppose like we'd always done, but against enemy troops instead of neighborhood bullies. Until that blasted train accident, those were some of the best times of my life. We were fighting together to make the world a better place, free of evil men like the one I became."

"Did you ever have a girlfriend?" Bella asked.

Bucky laughed. "Girls found me before I found them. I started getting Valentines before I even had my voice change. I liked it. When I got older and had a few dimes leftover, I'd take dames out.

"I had one suit I always used-my date suit-and I'd find the prettiest dames around and take them out for a good time. We'd go dancing, walk in the park, or share and ice cream sundae at the soda fountain. If I charmed them right, I'd get a good night kiss at the end.

"I'd never ask them for a second date, no matter how much I liked them. I was afraid of them seeing me for what I really was. Most of the time I didn't have the dime to buy them a hamburger, let alone think about an engagement ring. If I couldn't provide for myself, Steve, and my brothers, how would I manage a family of my own? If I never got a second date, they'd never know and I could pretend I was charming, handsome, and worthwhile forever.

"The army made it worse…or better, depending on how you look at it. When I'd get leave, I'd have two girls on each arm fighting for me and I'd disappear the next day and never see them again.

"Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like? Would I have found some pretty little bombshell to keep house for me, kiss me when I came home, and raise my children? It's a pretty picture, till I remember the dirty, tear-stained faces of the kids on our block-crying cause they won't have dinner again that night or their ma's sick or their pa's drunk and I have to say I'm glad I don't have to see my children like that. I fear that-failing them and being that man who keeps ten children and a sickly wife in a shack, cold and starving.

"Steve could have done it though. I know him. He'd never fail. Those dames, they'd fall over themselves for me and not even give Steve a second glance, not knowing he was the real catch-even before. He'd have cut off his right arm to take care of his own. His wife, his children, they would have been lucky and even if they struggled, they'd have been alright cause they had Steve.

"I wish he could have had all that, you know. I've been such a mess I can't really stop to wonder what things woulda been for me, but I wish Steve could have made it through. Since that day I found him in the alley, he's always been the better man."

"We are the same, you know, you and me," Bella said, her gold eyes meeting his turquoise depths like the sun setting into the ocean.

"How so?" Bucky asked.

"We were both injected with something that made us inhumanly strong and fast and durable. We both cheated death and will live longer than everyone around us that we love and so death will cheat us. We both have to live with the horrible consequences of being pawns in other people's wars. And now we both have the chance to use what we've become, our second chance, for good."

"I suppose that true. I envy you though. You lost most of your memories from before and you don't have to sleep," Bucky said.

"I wish I could remember more about the people I loved. You still have those good memories with the bad ones. I do still remember the nightmares. One of my happiest realizations when I woke into this life was that I would no longer be plagued with my nightmares."

"But then you miss dreaming good dreams," he said. "About those things you wish could be but never can."

"I stopped dreaming good dreams long before I stopped sleeping," she answered with a sigh, unconsciously wrapping her arms around her middle. "Tell me about your good dreams. I already know what the bad are like."

"Maybe I should just show you," he said and kissed her.

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A/N: So, this one is a lot of Bucky talking….I was going to make this an outtake but then I figured that we have four whole books of background information on Bella. I left this in so we get more background on Bucky. Hope you enjoyed!