Chapter 5: Control

The next morning Dean and Cas make their way through the woods and climb up the mountain that begin to raise behind Dean´s cabin. Dean's thoughts ran wild the whole way. What when he hurts Cas or he could lose control. He could burn down the mountain, the forest and everything around them. Yes, this was a very bad idea. There is a reason why he tries to suppress the flame that lives inside of him with every fibre of his being.

Cas seems unafraid and somewhere in Dean´s mind was ringing an alarm sound that there was terrible wrong with the man. There was no prove that the fire wouldn't hurt him but still there was no fear or worry in the man´s figure in front of him.

Between the trees appears more and more light until they walk over the edge, the tree line, only frozen, snow covered ground and rocks surround them. "Cas, I still think this is a bad idea. You shouldn't be close to me. Not when I will lose control and hurt you."

Cas stops and turns around to him. "You want your freedom back, right and I am here to help you. I will keep my distance when it makes you feel better." The angel takes a few steps back, still too close for Dean´s liking but at least the man had time to react.

There he stands surrounded by nothing except snow and an angel and wonders for the first time how this should work in the first place. He had never before summand his powers on purpose, they just came out. "Cas how do I do it?" Confused on this turn of events he completely forgot it.

The angel walks over to him, places his arms on Dean´s shoulders and makes him sit on the ground. They both sit opposite to each other. Their eyes met. "What I have seen until now shows me that your power is tied to your emotions. At least to a certain point. Emotional unbalance let the fire inside of your soul react. I even believe it´s protecting you. I imagine the fire is like a companion, it only sees that you are not good, like after your nightmare and it fights against the world because it wants to protect you." Dean was staring at the angel, was this his idea of a joke. This curse isn't protecting him it´s the source of his nightmares. "I think you can control it when you get the feeling of what triggers it, like finding the same level of conversation. You can summon the flame, control it and bend it to your will when everything works out. You need to accept this power as yours for it to work." Cas smiles encouraging at him and walks over to a rock, a few meters from Dean. He would have preferred a greater distance but at least he wasn't in touching reach. "First try to find the fire inside of your mind."

It seems like Cas really thought about it and who was Dean to stop this man from helping him to return to his family. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes like a million times before to find this quiet warm place inside of his soul. The place he uses to find the peace and quiet to get the flame to stop it should be the place to start to find it.

Dean couldn't say how long he set there on the ground, breathing, time got irrelevant and slowed down but the second his mind touched the innocent looking flame inside of him it starts to race. His breathing caught and begins to fasten up. His hand form first and he begins instinctly to push the fire back.

What Dean couldn't see with his eyes closed was the fire around him that melts the snow and brings out the rocks and stones underneath him. Cas could see the human panic but there was nothing he could to. This whole experience had worked very well until Dean had feared the power inside of him. Maybe it was too early, the angel thoughts.

Dean could stop the flame and push it back down, he was kneeing on the ground on his hands and knees breathing hard as if he had run a marathon. It took him a while to feel the warmth under his finger, understanding hit him and Dean looks up fast and is met with blue eyes that watch him patiently.

The whole area had been covered in snow and ice, now the only thing left of it was a thin trail of melted water in the distance. The angel looked unharmed but thinking about what could have happened let Dean nearly loose his breakfast.

Cas walks closer and offers Dean his hand to help him up, hesitantly Dean took it after he made sure his skin had a normal temperature again. "We should head home." Dean nods and follows Cas back to the forest and down the mountain. That they were still holding hands was only notice half way back but Dean didn't mind. It felt nice to be touched by another human being.

He was shaken and exhausted, not the best start or the start he had hoped and wished fore. Suddenly Dean feels eyes on him and looks up. Cas was staring at him again with these blue eyes, it looks like the angel want to ask something and somewhere in Dean´s mind blooms the words "please stay, forever" but he didn't say them because in front of his cabin was a truck parking.

Who could this be? Dean let go of Cas hand and lays his finger on his lips, signalling Cas to be quiet. As they round the cabin to see the rest of the car he sighs in relieve, this old thing could only belong to one person.

Bobby.