Nerissa woke up bright and early the next morning to get ready for work. Unfortunately, that meant that she also had to wake her father up bright and early to help her with her pre-shower ritual.
"Dad," Nerissa whispered into the guest room, "Dad, I need your help."
Horatio bolted awake, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Nerissa said, "I just need help stabilizing my knee so I can take my shower."
"Oh," Horatio said groggy, "Yeah, I'll be right in."
Nerissa crutched back into her room and waited for her dad. A few minutes later Horatio walked in, already dressed for work, "You're up early."
"I couldn't sleep any longer," Nerissa replied as she handed her dad the waterproof bandaging, "I hope you don't mind me waking you up, I really should make a better effort to do this myself but my range of motion still sucks."
"I don't mind at all, Rissa," Horatio told her as he rolled the bandage around her knee making sure that it was tight enough to support her weakened muscles and joint, "It just gives me the opportunity to make you and Ana breakfast."
"What are you gonna make?" Nerissa asked, her mouth was already watering thinking about her father's cooking.
"I was thinking pancakes for Ana and breakfast bowls for you and me," Horatio replied, his spirits soared when he realized she actually sounded excited about food. To be fair, he had noticed that she had been making a concerted effort to eat better, but some days it was really hard for her.
"That sounds delicious," Nerissa drooled.
"Alright, why don't you shower and I'll go get started on breakfast," Horatio brushed his hands together once he secured the end of the bandage.
"Do you want me to wake up Ana when I finish?" Nerissa asked as she pulled herself up with help from her crutches.
"I'll get her up when I finish her pancakes," Horatio answered as he walked out. Nerissa moved into the bathroom and went through her morning routine. After picking clothes that hid all of her scars and applying makeup that concealed the ones on her face and neck, Nerissa found herself glaring at her damp hair in the mirror.
"Breakfast is ready," Horatio announced as he rapped on the door frame, before entering Nerissa's room, that's when he noticed how frustrated she looked, "What's wrong?
"I don't know what to do with my hair," Nerissa replied but continued to glare at her reflection.
"What do you mean?" Horatio asked, slightly confused about what exactly the dilemma was.
"I can't do it myself because my shoulder still aches like a son of a bitch sometimes and I can't just let it air dry because if I do it will be a frizzy mess," she grumbled, "and I don't want you to just braid it."
Horatio didn't understand why she was so upset about her hair but knew he couldn't just brush it off, so he thought of something, "Why don't you go eat breakfast and we'll worry about your hair when you've got some food in you."
Nerissa sighed, "Alright, then I'll at least tie my hair back for breakfast."
"Would you like me to do it?" Horatio asked.
"No, I can handle a simple ponytail," Nerissa replied as she looped a band around her hair and then followed her father into the kitchen for breakfast.
Fifteen minutes later breakfast had been devoured, or at least mostly devoured by Nerissa, and the dishes had been cleared when someone knocked on the door.
"I'll get it," Horatio said and a minute later he came back with Calleigh trailing behind him.
"Calleigh," Nerissa gasped, "What are you doing here?"
"Horatio called me," Calleigh explained with a broad grin, "He said you needed some help with your hair this morning. So, I decided that since I was ready I might as well come help you look your best for your first day back."
Nerissa was touched, "Thanks, Cal."
Calleigh smiled, "You're very welcome. Now let's get started."
Twenty minutes later Calleigh was putting the finishing touches on Nerissa's hairdo, "All done!" Calleigh said spinning Nerissa around to face the mirror, "What do you think?"
Nerissa examined her hair and was pleased with the final product, "It looks great, Calleigh. Thank you."
"You're welcome," Calleigh replied, "It was a bit different. It's so much shorter than it was the last time I did your hair."
"It was almost past my waist when I… I came back from Afghanistan," Nerissa recalled, "I couldn't brush it without my arms getting tired and I got so frustrated with it I took a pair of kitchen scissors to it, cut it almost to my chin."
Calleigh was shocked that Nerissa offered up information relating to her mission but didn't mention it, "How long ago was that?"
"Almost three months," Nerissa replied but her eyes glazed over into what could have been a flashback.
Calleigh saw Nerissa's eyes glaze over so she gently snapped her out of it, "How come it's still so short?
Nerissa's eyes refocused, "Before I came back from California I decided that I liked it short so I had it trimmed a bit."
"I like it," Calleigh smiled, "Ready to go?"
"Yeah," Nerissa said but she didn't move.
"What's wrong?" Calleigh asked when she didn't follow.
"I need some help," Nerissa said timidly.
"Name it," Calleigh said.
"I need some help getting my other shoe on," she replied holding it up. Calleigh didn't bat an eye at the request and gently slipped the shoe on and secured the buckle.
"There you go," Calleigh replied with a smile and held her hand out, "Ready now?"
Nerissa smiled gratefully, accepting the help up, "Thank you, Calleigh.."
"It's absolutely no problem, Rissa," Calleigh replied seriously, "Anything you need, just ask."
"Thanks, Cal," Nerissa said again and then the pair was off to work.
Nerissa rode to work with her dad, who left the silence unbroken, knowing that she needed this time to think and mentally prepare herself for her return to the craziness that was the Miami Dade crime lab.
"You ready?" Horatio asked as he parked the Hummer in front of the building.
Nerissa took a deep breath, "Yeah, I am. I'm ready for my life to regain some semblance of normalcy."
"Let's go then," Horatio stepped out of the car and moved around the vehicle to open Nerissa's door. He offered her a hand and then the pair headed into the station. A few feet from the doors Nerissa froze, "What's wrong, Rissa?"
"I was wrong," Nerissa said and Horatio could clearly see that she was on the verge of a panic attack, "I'm not ready for this."
Horatio wasn't surprised that she'd begun to have seconds thoughts, "Why don't we take this one step at a time, come inside and work for an hour or two and then we'll move on from there."
"I… I don't know, Dad," Nerissa backed away hesitantly, "I don't think I can do this."
"I know you can do it, sweetheart," Horatio assured her, "Come in and we'll try for a bit, and if you're not okay I'll take you home."
"Okay," Nerissa nodded, taking a deep breath, "I'll try. It's just desk work. How bad could it be?"
"That's my girl," Horatio gave her a quick but gentle hug, "Let's do this."
*Ryan's POV*
"Get it together, Ryan!" he thought to himself as he paced the length of the locker room over and over again, "It's one little question. Six little words. Why is this so hard!?"
Ryan had been repeatedly asking himself those same questions in his head for close to an hour, as he tried to work up the nerve to finally ask Nerissa out. He continued to pace back and forth knowing that he needed to get himself together because she'd be walking through those doors in less than five minutes. In less than five minutes he would see her for the first time in six months.
Ryan wasn't sure what to expect Nerissa to look like, but whatever it was it was nothing compared to what she looked like when finally she walked in. The second that Nerissa stepped through those doors, with Horatio close behind, he could see that his plans to ask her out would have to wait. Horatio's talk yesterday had done nothing to prepare him for what he saw. It wasn't hard to see that she wasn't the same Nerissa that had left.
This Nerissa was battered, thin and unsure of herself. Ryan could tell by the way she flinched away from Horatio's unexpected touch that she had been through hell in all those months away, and by the look in her eyes. Her once bright and daring eyes were now dark and guarded. Ryan could infer from the long sleeves she was wearing, despite the hot Miami heat, that she had been abused and beaten. He could tell from the scars that crisscrossed her hands and wrists and, despite her best efforts, he could see the scars marring her beautiful face. He knew deep down that there even more hidden beneath her clothes.
Everything came together and Ryan became angry when his eyes fell on the brace that encased her knee and the crutches that held up her thin frame. Ryan knew that she had to have a lot of emotional scarring as well, but that didn't stop him from deciding at that moment to be her rock, just like Calleigh had suggested. He decided to become someone that would be able to help her heal, someone to be the shoulder that she would inevitably need to cry on and he resolved to be that person no matter how much she tried to push him away.
"Hi, Rissa," Ryan greeted as casually as he could, "It's good to see you." He kicked himself for his lame greeting.
"Hey, Ryan," Nerissa gave him a small smile and thought to herself that he looked exactly the same as he did the day she'd left. Which she found funny since she looked nothing like the day she left, or at least she felt like she didn't, "It's good to see you, too. How have you been?"
"Pretty good," Ryan was suddenly unsure of what to say now that she was standing right in front of him, "It hasn't been the same without you here."
Nerissa didn't reply right away but moved to open her locker and Horatio saw what was going on, "Ryan, could you do me a favor?" Horatio asked taking a glance at his watch, "I have a meeting with the Captain. Could you show Nerissa to her desk?"
"Uh, yeah. Sure, no problem," Ryan replied awkwardly.
"Thanks," Horatio said and then whispered in Nerissa's ear, "I'll see you in a bit. Remember our deal."
"I will," Nerissa replied softly, "Bye, Dad."
After Horatio exited, Nerissa and Ryan fell into an awkward silence for a few minutes while Nerissa fiddled with the straps on her knee brace before she broke the silence, "I know you're dying to ask about it."
"About what?" Ryan asked, unsure of what she was referring to.
"What happened while I was gone," Nerissa answered while avoiding eye contact.
The tone of her voice and her defeated posture broke Ryan's heart. He wondered what happened to her that had broken her like this? "If you're not ready to talk about it I'm not going to push you to," Ryan told her, "I just want you to know that when you're ready to let some of it out I'll always be here for you."
Nerissa gave a small smile, "That's probably not going to be for a long time," she told him, then whispered, "If ever."
"I'm here for you, Nerissa," he took a seat next to her, "The whole team is."
"I know," she whispered staring at the floor. After a moment she looked up at him, "Why don't you show me to my new desk?"
"Alright, follow me," Ryan stood and offered her a hand up.
The pair walked in silence to the squad room where she would have a desk next to Frank Tripp and work on cold case files and other desk work.
"Here you are," Ryan said flourishing a hand at the desk, "Your new home."
"For now," she said wistfully, "Thanks, Ryan."
"Anytime," Ryan said and stuffed his hands in his pockets, "Well I'd better get going." He took a few steps away then turned back, "Hey, would you like to go to lunch with me?"
Nerissa was taken aback, "I don't know…"
"We can just grab something from a food cart around here or whatever, nothing fancy," Ryan elaborated.
"Sure," Nerissa smiled meekly.
"Great!" Ryan beamed, "I'll meet you in the locker room and then we'll head out."
"Sounds good," Nerissa replied.
"Alright, see you then," Ryan said and walked away feeling as though one barrier had just been broken down but he also felt like there were dozens more ahead.