Hey there! I was gone longer than I wanted to be gone, but well, here I am. I sort of forgot I had an introduction camp literally right after my trip to South Korea, so that went well… Well, I actually managed to be there for two days and then I said 'well, my jetlag is officially ruining everything for me, so forget about the bonding and being social with my new classmates, I am going home'. Which may or may not have been a bad decision, but we'll see. ALSO, no, I will not address the Death Note Netflix live action. It exists and that's all I will say on the matter (also I hated it) (wait, forget I said that) (CONTROVERSY! Yay. Fun.) Shit, I am rambling again, aren't I? Let's not do that today. Let's start this chapter!

DISCLAIMER: yup, I checked. Definitely do not own Death Note or any of its original characters or plotlines. But my OC's are mine, so yay, I guess.

XxX

1. Butterfly

There came a strange awareness with seeing things others could not. I walked across the busy streets, looking, staring, but not actually seeing. The red was invading my vision, the numbers and letters blurring everything in sight.

I stopped in the middle of my step, focusing, closing my eyes. Blinking rapidly until the redness disappeared and I could see again.

It were moments like these that I understood why Beyond Birthday had been driven mad. Seeing the world through red and numbers and letters, it was not only terrible, but achingly so. I did not understand how anyone managed it. Especially Misa. Though I must admit she had a pretty strong character.

Not that it mattered much. I found myself fairly weak, yet I had been fighting it for weeks now. Ico tried to help, but she was so used to seeing everything that she couldn't really understand my problems with slipping into my Shinigami eyes. She also did not understand why I insisted on not bothering Ryuzaki with it.

As if on cue, my phone rang.

'Your timing is creepy,' I said into the phone.

A short laugh rang in my ears as response. I wasn't sure whether I'd actually heard Ryuzaki laugh before, at least not on the phone.

I still hadn't. Because it was Watari on the phone. 'I would ask you why, but I am very much afraid the answer might be too odd for me to handle.'

I shrugged as I started walking again. 'I highly doubt it. You have been with Ryuzaki since forever, I think your idea of odd is a lot different from mine. Or most people's, at that. But um… why are you on Ryuzaki his phone? Did he throw it at you or something?'

'Oh, no, nothing of the sort,' Watari responded with a smile in his voice. 'It's just that I wanted to ask you something secret and Ryuzaki likes to track my calls. He won't suspect his own phone, I hope.'

Well, this did not make his actions seem suspicious at all. 'I have told you many times that sneaking vitamins in his snacks does not work, he immediately knows it. Or at least suspects it. I think he will never trust anything I make myself again.'

'Oh, I am not talking about that. I was talking about Near.'

Utter silence in my head. I had no idea what he was talking about. 'What about him?'

There followed a short silence, which with Watari didn't always need to mean something important. But for some reason, today I got the vibe that it was. 'What?' I asked slowly, suddenly really, really suspicious.

'Haven't you noticed anything odd lately?' Watari asked, seemingly changing the subject completely.

A conversation with Watari had never seem pointless, but this conversation certainly seemed like one. 'Why are you asking questions while I am out? I'll be back tomorrow!'

'I am asking this now because you have been gone for nearly a week and I suspect Ryuzaki will not leave your side once you've returned for at least four days and I feel like this is getting out of hand.' There was an edge in his voice that sounded new to me.

I was already at my hotel now, walking hastily to the elevators while the man at the reception looked at me with the same eyes he had when I checked in. I was a young girl with poor fashion taste and blue streaks in my hair, so, yeah, he was going to stare. I told Ryuzaki a cheap hotel would be better, but he wouldn't listen. That did not change.

'Okay, then, maybe you have a point.' Not really, Ryuzaki would probably still spend more time behind his computer, but I decided to ignore the facts for now. 'But you've got to be a little more specific if you want me to help, because I honestly do not know what you are asking me.'

'I want to find Near,' he said, as if he had the words lined up months before. 'I want to find his working space and make sure Ryuzaki lets go of the feelings he has regarding Near.'

Still utter silence in my head. 'Which is?'

'Quilt.'

XxX

Ico never kept me company while traveling. She hated plains and trains and basically anything and everything that moved on its own. So as I was making the trip from Paris back to England, I thought about everything Watari had said.

He was right, of course. I didn't really want to think about it, but I knew Ryuzaki felt responsible. Not just for Near, but for everyone. But I never thought that Ryuzaki would feel guilty about Near now being a child on his own. That is, maybe A didn't leave him all by his self, but still.

So. Finding Near. It was not going to be easy, but maybe not impossible. I believed Ryuzaki could do it if he really put the effort in. And I knew that – if he were a part of the argument – Ryuzaki would probably guess that I could not do it. Not because he thought bad of me or whatever, but because he was realistic. This idea might not be. Well, at least I had Watari and his believe in me, so perhaps I shouldn't be so pessimistic.

After all, I had solved this case. Ryuzaki was getting more and more comfortable with sending me as his assistant instead of Watari. It was easier that way. I was younger, less noticeable and in less danger. And, well, he still trusted Watari's cooking. After a few little mistakes he refused to eat anything I make. In any other relationship I would perhaps consider that as an insult, but I knew Ryuzaki. He was too honest about such things and I respected that.

Not that I even considered this a real relationship. Ever since the previous case he had pretended like I was Watari 2.0, nothing more. It wasn't his fault, I knew that. It was mine. I had been putting myself in danger for a long time, but it had taken him a while to figure out what that meant.

Yes, I had my maximum lifespan now. But not even Ico would know when that would be over. Mine and Ryuzaki's lifespans had completely disappeared for all eyes. No one knew what our maximum lifespan was. Some people were simply given more time than others. And after I accidently explained to Ryuzaki what our maximum lifespan actually meant; not something that would guarantee a long life, just a thing that could protect us from premature Death Notes and dangers, he never treated me the same. I should have said anything to him. But I hated it when I was dishonest to him.

'You know,' Ico said as I was walking from the airplane to the baggage claim area, 'I have no clue how he does it. How did he figure out that a famous killer from Germany was hiding in Paris without ever leaving his chair? I mean, I don't believe in magic, but that certainly sounds like witchcraft to me.'

I snorted. 'Is there such a thing as a death god that does not believe in magic? Aren't you basically magic?' I asked. I had long ago given up my attempt to seem normal by not talking to Ico in public. I had blue hair, I wore whatever I wanted, people were going to think I was crazy anyway. Judging was one of those things people did best.

'Well, we aren't magic. And I think at least a third of us would kill you for saying that,' Ico responded.

'Well, good thing then that a Death Note has no effect on me,' I said, shrugging as I scratched the back of my head.

Ico suddenly got really quiet. 'Unless your time is up,' she finally said after a silence that was just a tiny bit too long.

'Unless my time is up,' I complied.

XxX

Do you know the feeling of anticipation whenever you arriving somewhere? The feeling that someone might be there to pick you up, be there for you? I never had this feeling before, but I assume it is a thing, because it felt so natural. Something I had felt before, was disappointment. Which followed right after this feeling once I realised that there was someone waiting for me. Only it was an unknown driver. Not even Watari had come to pick me up.

'You'd think they didn't even miss me,' I muttered to the driver, who was to uninterested that he did not talk to me during the entire ride.

When the car did pull up at the small apartment, which I had bought to stay close to Ryuzaki without overstaying my welcome, but it ended up being his private office most of the time, I was already so pissed off at everything that I just wanted to drop my suitcase in the hallway and go to bed. Only the universe was never that fair.

And in front of my door stood an unfamiliar Shinigami.

XxX

The Shinigami was tall, she had much better posture than Ryuk or Rem and she was taller than Ico. I was starting to suspect Ico was small for a Shinigami, now that I'd seen a few. This Shinigami was clearly female. Ico didn't look female, but she sounded female enough. The Shinigami screamed femininity.

This Shinigami was white and had bug-like features, though her face looked surprisingly normal, with humanlike eyes and a humanlike mouth. The only thing about her eyes – and her head, at that – that seemed off was the thin layer of feathers that covered less than half of her face, hiding one eye a tiny bit. And the only odd thing about her mouth was that her lips were so black that no lipstick could've done better. Only the shoulders were covered in something that resembled skin, but it looked more like dead butterfly wings. White with black lines. The remaining parts of her body looked like bones, still she looked bug-like. And despite her bright white appearance, her claws were black and long.

But for a Shinigami, I did not find her frightening at all.

I observed her, unsure what to feel, what to say. I had no clue who she was and what she was doing here, but for some reason, I wanted her to speak first. Which she did, after a terribly long silence.

'I am Arma,' she said, her voice calm and sweet and clear, nothing at all like the Shinigami I had met before. I was sure Ico would be jealous of her in some capacity. But Ico had left when I got into the car and she had not returned yet. 'And I want to ask you for help.'

A Shinigami actually asking me for help? I mean, the king did that, sort of, but it more seemed like ordering me around. 'You want… my help? What happened?'

'My Death Note has been stolen. And my days are very limited,' she explained, immediately trusting me with the information I wasn't sure I deserved. Where did all her trust come from? She didn't even know me. 'You collect fallen Death Notes of our Majesty the king, yes? You could help me find my note and by doing so, you will be doing our king a great service.'

Her voice was so soothing, she sounded like a mother, almost. But every word she said made my tired brain even more exhausted. 'Listen, Ava or Ara or—'

'Arma,' she repeated.

Sure. 'Arma,' I said, 'I want to help you. But I must admit that I am quite tired and I won't be of much help to you this way. Would you wait for me until I have rested? My companion will be here shortly and I am sure she will be able to help you, too. We will see what we can do for you.'

'Thank you,' she said. So. An actually polite Shinigami. I'd never thought I'd see the day.

As if he had been listening to every word we said, Watari suddenly opened my front door. 'Miss Severs, you have returned.'

For some reason, I really did not feel like talking to him right now. Not with Near and Arma and everything else. Watari or Ryuzaki could really just go back to the orphanage right now for all I cared. This was my apartment, anyway.

'I am going to bed,' I announced to Watari, dropping my suitcase in his hand and walking past him, already in my room before he could protest. Lucky enough for me, my room and attached bathroom had a lock.

Lucky enough for me, I had stolen Ryuzaki's copy of the key weeks ago.

XxX

Arma actually respected my boundaries, because I did not see her as I brushed my teeth, put on my pyjamas and got into bed. Once I was save and well in bed, I remembered what she'd said. Her Death Note had been stolen? I knew that Shinigami needed their Death Notes to write names, because they gained the remaining lifespan of the humans they killed prematurely. But what happened if you lost your personal Death Note? Ryuk had had a spare one, but I assumed that was not always the case. What if you did lost your one and only Death Note? What if you rarely wrote names? Then losing your Death Note may be a death sentence.

Maybe Arma was so polite because it was much more than her Death Note on the line. It was her actual life.

Now I felt guilty about not wanting to help her immediately. In a situation where time is as limited as it is in this case, she would probably think I was a self-centered of garbage.

How ironic that I sent her away to rest, because now – because of her – I couldn't rest at all. That and the voice at the door.

'Are you alright?' Watari asked, a question he was probably sent to ask.

'I'm fine, thank you. Just tired,' I replied, knowing that Ryuzaki would certainly stay away if he thought I was sleeping. It was never hard for him to stay away.

'Alright, then. Rest well,' Watari said, clearly unsure if he had done everything he could for me.

As soon as I did not heard Watari his footsteps anymore, I shot up and started hissing Ico's name. For some reason, sometimes, that actually worked. But not today, it seemed. So, perhaps, my second option. 'Arma!' I hissed, hoping she was nearby. But I once again got no response.

So there was nothing left to do but try to sleep. As if that would work. As if I could do such a thing right now. I had not even seen Ryuzaki yet! It had been my own god damn fault, I knew that, but if I'd known myself better, I would've gone to meet him anyway. Good ideas seemed few and far between these days.

I lay down again, closed my eyes in a first attempt to sleep, but shot up immediately when I heard someone racing through the corridor. That was definitely not Watari.

Someone tried to open the door, followed by a frustrated punch when they found the door locked. 'Open the door, Allison,' Ryuzaki ordered.

I frowned. He sounded so… so…no, not worried, that wasn't the right word. Anxious wasn't it either. As if he was in a hurry? As if he was in a foul mood and in a hurry, that was what it sounded like. But it did not make me want to hurry up. He should learn to be more patient. You can never be too patient.

'Allison!' he said again, this time with a hint of something I hadn't heard in a very long time. He rarely said the word 'please', but he had a way of saying something else with that message clearly, visible hidden inside.

So I got up and hurried to the door, but not too fast. Whatever had made him so upset, I wasn't quite sure whether I actually wanted to know or not. 'What is it?' I asked a bit angrily when I finally opened the door.

He stared at me, scanned my face, trying to find something, anything, I wasn't sure. Then he suddenly grabbed my shoulders. 'Is it you?'

A rather confusion question, to be perfectly honest. 'What?'

'Are you yourself? No one… Did no one…' He scanned every inch of me, almost as if he was trying to find something he didn't particularly like.

I tried to free myself, but he desperate grasp was too strong and I was too tired. 'Ryuzaki, calm down and explain to me what you are talking about. You are sounding like a mad man here. I mean, a madder man than normally. You usually also sound like a mad man, but I meant to say—'

'Humans can be controlled with Death Notes,' Ryuzaki interrupted me. 'I have been studying your behaviour these past couple of weeks and used my memory of the years before that as extra information. The moment you behaved out of character, I would know.'

I froze. Understood everything he said, and every secret meaning behind it. He had realised we could die by the hands of a Death Note. He did realise that we could be controlled. So he studied my behaviour, preparing himself so that he could recognise the moment of my death, at least, if a Death Note had anything to do with it. This was not only worry, this was preparation in such detail and with such awareness. He hadn't even seen me and knew immediately that something was off. Only he did not guess the right reason. When you rarely slept, like Ryuzaki did, things like 'tired from travel' and 'having trouble processing a new Shinigami' were concept he wouldn't expect could influence your behaviour.

I sighed, both touched and worried. We did not know when we were going to die, no, just like everybody else. But we were the only ones who could do nothing about it. When our time was up, it was up. No one, not even L himself, would be able to save me once my time was up. 'Ryuzaki,' I said slowly, freeing myself gently. He let me and I used my newfound freedom to grab his hands. When they started to shake, I sighed a kind sigh and pulled him in for a hug. He hated those, but I explained to him many times before that I needed the reassurance. And today, I was giving him that same reassurance. My beating heart against his chest, my warm arms holding him tight. More alive than he could imagine.

I held him until he at last sighed and relaxed. His face was still the same as always. Tired, pale and handsome. To me, he was the most handsome creature on earth. Even if he was a bit strange. We made the perfect public appearances together. I mean, they did not happen often, but you wouldn't believe the stares we got.

'I think we might have a new case soon,' I warned him, already distracting him from more important issues. Like our relationship. Or our future. Or the fact that he had kissed me in months. And how, every single day, I got more scared to touch him, be close to him. Distance was something that not only existed outside your body. Distance was between minds, too. And it got in your head and grew, spread out like a mighty virus.

'How so?' Ryuzaki asked as he absentmindedly touched my hair.

I thought about tapping his hand away for a short while before deciding I liked it. 'A Shinigami asked me for help earlier today. Said she'd lost her Note. She is asking me to help. Apparently, I am the go-to girl now.'

His eyes widened and I saw a hint of anger in them, something that made the darkness burn. 'Why didn't you tell me this the moment you came home?'

Because my heart is like the heart of a young teenage girl and things have been awkward between us. 'Because I am tired, Ryuzaki. You might be able to handle not sleeping fairly well, but I need sleep to function.'

Ryuzaki slightly tilted his head to the right and observed me, eyes narrowed as he scanned my face. 'Well, you look like you are fully functioning at the moment.'

My god, impossible as ever. 'Ryuzaki, please, just let me sleep. I promise we will talk.' Not about all the important stuff, but we would talk. 'I will come to you first thing in the morning, alright?'

Consideration played on his face. 'Alright,' he said at last.

'Thank god!' I groaned as I turned around and walked back to my bed.

Only to see Ryuzaki getting in on the other side of it. 'What are you doing?' I said, halting my actions.

Ryuzaki lay down on the covers as if he slept every single night like a normal human being. 'I have been awake for thirty-six hours now and though that is usually too early to start sleeping, if you are resting, I will too. For now.'

As if. He was going to be bored in at least half an hour. Which was both a sad truth and a comforting one, so I lay down under the covers. Which was followed by a staring contest to intense and I had to clear my throat and turn around.

From behind me, I felt Ryuzaki grabbing my wrist and bringing it towards him to hold it, checking my pulse in the process.

'Paranoid,' I mumbled, my eyes closing as I somehow found the calm to ease up and try to sleep.

'What did you say?' Ryuzaki mumbled.

'Nothing,' was my reply before sailing off into dreams and nightmares.

XxX

I feel like this chapter is quite bad, but that is usually the case with new stories for me. I have to get into it. Even though it's a sequel, it's a different story with different rules and everyone is different now, so if the quality is not up to par, give me a chapter or five and I will be fine.

Anyway, thank you so much for reading, I am unsure whether I will update next, but I hope you stick around.

XxX

REVIEW REPLIES

Victoria-Nicole: Thank you so much! I love (South-)Korea as well and I would love to live there for a period of time one day. But Portugal is amazing, too, I hope you had fun!

BarkingKittens: Yayy! I love making people happy, even if it is soooooo late (sorry about that) and yes, I would love to be on the list of people in line to buy a barking kitten. Maybe after you have successfully created those, you can try to create meowing dogs, that would be adorably weird and amazing.

donnaforgot: aawww, you're so sweet! Thank you so much and sorry for the long wait!

XxX